Speaker 1: The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television
Speaker 1: and Amber twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised.
Speaker 2: Love the Lutch concierge. Yeah, the ice machine on the
Speaker 2: sixth floor. Can you send someone?
Speaker 3: Oh I love you too, Princess.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm coming home real soon. No, No, of course,
Speaker 4: Mommy and I still love each other. Mommy's just a
Speaker 4: little upset at Daddy right now because.
Speaker 3: Oh, she told you that. Well, that's not completely true.
Speaker 3: It's nope, no, Princess, it's pronounced autoerotic asphyxiation.
Speaker 1: October six, twenty twenty three, perhaps better known as the
Speaker 1: night Santy disappeared, and exactly one year ago today, Well, well,
Speaker 1: Santy must have been referring to my unblemished maidenhood, or,
Speaker 1: as of that very moment, a recent lack thereof, I mean,
Speaker 1: at least as far as he knew. Truth was, when
Speaker 1: Santy and I were on hiatus a couple weeks prior,
Speaker 1: I had sex with someone else, Wade, which not great,
Speaker 1: I know, but the whole thing was incited by Santy's
Speaker 1: refusal to be exclusive with me. So it's not like
Speaker 1: I did anything wrong, right, It's just now that Santy
Speaker 1: and I were back together, and this time exclusively. I
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna let Wade ruin.
Speaker 3: It anyone home.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, what'd you say?
Speaker 3: I asked? If you feel any different?
Speaker 1: I always feel different.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna grab eyes for the champagne. Why don't you
Speaker 5: get showered here, Sticky, it's your stick.
Speaker 1: I would very shortly come to regret that my last
Speaker 1: words to Santy were it's your stick. A lot of
Speaker 1: regrets stemmed from that moment, actually see as traumatic missing
Speaker 1: persons events tend to do. That night at the Ludlow
Speaker 1: Lodge set off a chain reaction of bad shit, the
Speaker 1: first Domino and a Rube Goldberg of self sabotage and shame.
Speaker 1: This entire hunt for Santy has been one depraved act
Speaker 1: after another. No lie nor betrayal is off limits. So
Speaker 1: I wonder sometimes if that night had played out differently,
Speaker 1: and I was there to help Santy when whatever happened happened,
Speaker 1: would I still have become this person I'm ashamed of?
Speaker 1: I used to think not right up until earlier today,
Speaker 1: when Wade mentioned something that I'm shocked and embarrassed, I
Speaker 1: didn't already know it was the whole crab mentality thing,
Speaker 1: the idea that crabs sabotage each other escaping from a bucket.
Speaker 1: You know, if I can't be happy, no one can.
Speaker 1: Wade was right by the way I exercised crab mentality
Speaker 1: on the regular, And then that reminds me of something else,
Speaker 1: something that I declare with great woe is the final
Speaker 1: arthropodic wisdom. I have to impart. Everyone eventually becomes a crab.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, you should panic.
Speaker 6: The term carsonization was coined in the early twentieth century
Speaker 6: to describe the natural tendency for sea specimens to evolve
Speaker 6: into crabs. Indeed, biologists have traced the origin of many
Speaker 6: existing crab species back to entirely different crustaceans, begging the
Speaker 6: question why to crabs hold the key to some evolutionary advantage?
Speaker 1: Full disclosure. I was like ten when I saw that
Speaker 1: nature special so grain of salt.
Speaker 6: Damien, your parents both love you, and you weren't the
Speaker 6: cause of their divorce at all.
Speaker 1: But I'm pretty sure I'm remember incorrectly. Anyway. The point is,
Speaker 1: my crab mentality was not born from what happened to
Speaker 1: Satya that night, but rather it was the evolutionary role.
Speaker 1: I was born to play the role. We're all born
Speaker 1: to play. See. We can try to be other things, detectives,
Speaker 1: were wolves, lovers, but it will always come to an end,
Speaker 1: because everything comes to an end. And when it does,
Speaker 1: when that post coital glow has faded, and that lingering
Speaker 1: popper's head rush becomes a headache, you can finally see
Speaker 1: things for how they are. It isn't love, it isn't purpose,
Speaker 1: it's not even truth.
Speaker 2: It's just.
Speaker 1: A hookup. And as I was about to learn, no
Speaker 1: amount of showering can wash your hands of a bad.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ah, yes, the hookup brewery.
Speaker 8: What are you all doing?
Speaker 1: He's getting away, I said, fatties him. The hookup. Water flooding.
Speaker 1: The factory has risen almost to my neck, and I
Speaker 1: can't see a ton except Santy. A sheet of metal
Speaker 1: drifts between us, resetting my view.
Speaker 8: Not Sandy Mittello, David, It's okay. I've got you up here. Wait,
Speaker 8: help us up.
Speaker 3: Take my hand.
Speaker 9: I'll hoist you guys over the railing Miteo, come on,
Speaker 9: thanks shit Sandy.
Speaker 8: Nope, not Santy Wade.
Speaker 3: This is Matteo.
Speaker 8: Hold agg sit.
Speaker 3: You look just like Sandy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard Pa, Teo and Wade in the same room.
Speaker 1: It's not something I ever expected or wanted.
Speaker 3: What's going on? Where are we.
Speaker 1: A bridged version? This is where they manufacture the hookup.
Speaker 1: Someone knocked over the popper brewing tanks which are flooding
Speaker 1: the facility.
Speaker 8: Here Masca.
Speaker 1: Oh and remember Elias fum werewolf. He is the mastermind
Speaker 1: behind this all. Also like a werewolf. I use the
Speaker 1: metal notification sound to shake you all from the hive
Speaker 1: minds influence. Excuse me, the polycules influence Minni Gerkin, Charcuterie
Speaker 1: whore for twenty.
Speaker 3: Why are you liking them? That's right?
Speaker 5: Something about the metal alert tone disrupts the polycules neural link.
Speaker 3: Dimo help me.
Speaker 8: It's PM Peter.
Speaker 1: Look on the opposite ledge and he's with the guy
Speaker 1: from the campus Chipotle too.
Speaker 8: The Chipotle guy is gay.
Speaker 3: I knew it.
Speaker 1: Wait, are you good to round up the rest of
Speaker 1: the goons and them out through the labyrinths?
Speaker 3: Copy that what I'm not leaving.
Speaker 8: Mateo, do do not do the.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but this lucid moment you're having it's fleeting,
Speaker 1: remember right.
Speaker 5: It's safer for everyone if we're not here. When we
Speaker 5: revert unless unless unless you make.
Speaker 3: It so, we don't.
Speaker 1: I crane my neck upwards to the catwalk, following Matteo's gaze.
Speaker 1: A Lie is still strapped into the hook.
Speaker 2: Up neural gateway.
Speaker 1: The neural gateway device, it's what allows Alias.
Speaker 3: To control us. Mateo, come on, we have to move.
Speaker 1: And Matteo, I meant what I said before.
Speaker 2: I am gonna find a way.
Speaker 3: To reverse this. I know you believe you will.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hurt Matteo's feelings, but destroying the
Speaker 1: Hive mind control console was kind of a given, Elias.
Speaker 1: You can't get unstrapped without your polycule man servants.
Speaker 8: Kind of a design thought.
Speaker 1: Don't you think?
Speaker 3: What did you do to them? Why won't they listen
Speaker 3: to me?
Speaker 1: You don't know all this how the Metal Alert temporarily
Speaker 1: frees the goons from your influence. It doesn't turn them
Speaker 1: gay again, but it makes them autonomous briefly, Metal the
Speaker 1: dating app. You're not really behind this? Are you not alone?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 8: I'm not telling you shit?
Speaker 7: Hurst right?
Speaker 9: Right?
Speaker 1: So then if something were to happen to your entire
Speaker 1: supply of the hookup, that'd be fine for you. There's
Speaker 1: no one you say answer to the only reason I
Speaker 1: ask is I've been doing a lot of Popper's research lately, understandably,
Speaker 1: and I've learned that the primary components alkol nitrate is
Speaker 1: extremely flammable. So if I were to just, for example,
Speaker 1: drop this lighter down into that flooding popper water.
Speaker 3: God do that? You have no idea what they'll do
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 1: Oh you think you've seen horrors here in your.
Speaker 3: Little town, Well use flash boyo, Ludlow Hills.
Speaker 10: Is only the trial run.
Speaker 1: I didn't exceeded expectations.
Speaker 8: Who is they? Do you mean the ashcroft In lit Foundation?
Speaker 3: Miasthma, my asthma, That's what they're really called.
Speaker 10: Ashcroft In That is a shell up front to gain
Speaker 10: access to.
Speaker 1: Students like me, students to oversee the BATA rollout of
Speaker 1: the hook.
Speaker 8: Up students like you and Santy.
Speaker 1: You like a dog with a bow, and boyo, Santi,
Speaker 1: there's Santy that maybe Santi shouldn't have asked so many questions.
Speaker 9: Oh you beat me up a you like they are
Speaker 9: gonna turn your insides into your outside.
Speaker 8: Okay, this has been fir.
Speaker 3: No, no no, no, no, no, no, don't do that.
Speaker 3: Damen Damien, Damien I will fucking flatten you.
Speaker 1: You're cute when you're flustered. WHOA wasn't fully expecting that
Speaker 1: to work?
Speaker 7: No, No, this isn't harrow is supposed to be.
Speaker 1: This isn't what I meant about that pathetic. This is
Speaker 1: the man behind the curtain, the guy who killed Santy
Speaker 1: to win the miasma grant, the dude who have distributed
Speaker 1: conversion mind controlled drugs throughout Ludlow Hills. He looks so
Speaker 1: a not small enough. You know, earlier, when I was
Speaker 1: buying this bottle of the hookup, I had to purchase
Speaker 1: another item to get the bottle free, so I grabbed
Speaker 1: the nearest thing, which just happened to be this red
Speaker 1: silicone ball gag. Yeah, get wait for me, get away
Speaker 1: from me.
Speaker 2: Better wrap this up anyway. I'm glad I got the
Speaker 2: larger size gag.
Speaker 1: I doubt the smaller one would completely block air flor
Speaker 1: to your metas.
Speaker 7: Alright, and that's my cue.
Speaker 1: But but what happens when a crab does escape? This
Speaker 1: whole tired metaphor rests on the status quo of no
Speaker 1: crab ever letting another out. But if somehow one of
Speaker 1: them does get to freedom, well then what does he
Speaker 1: scutter away and leave the crabs and the bucket to
Speaker 1: their miserable cycle of fate. No, he doesn't, come on,
Speaker 1: don't need you choking on your own tongue.
Speaker 10: What's going on?
Speaker 1: I'm getting us out of here before the building collapses.
Speaker 8: You might be a murderer, Elias, but I am not.
Speaker 3: I'm so confused. Whoa, whoa? But oh my head, I'm
Speaker 3: I always wondered what the cup felt like?
Speaker 1: And what's the verdict?
Speaker 3: I'm not worth to come down.
Speaker 1: Maybe everyone does eventually become a crab, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean we stay crabs forever.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 1: I think the Nature Special left that part out for
Speaker 1: some people. Maybe this hardened crab mentality is the end
Speaker 1: of evolutionary road. But I'm not some people, and I'm
Speaker 1: not done evolving. With all this behind me, I might
Speaker 1: become a prawn or a krill, or heck, maybe in
Speaker 1: a top.
Speaker 3: What are we doing, Damien.
Speaker 1: End of the line. I wasn't about to let you
Speaker 1: burn in there, but you're still gonna answer for all this.
Speaker 1: So shame though, shower time in prison is going to
Speaker 1: be so much less enjoyable.
Speaker 10: Now, Damien.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Please come back.
Speaker 2: Demian.
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe I'll always have a little crab in me
Speaker 1: when you boil it down. There are really only two
Speaker 1: types of people. There's the ones who unpack their clothes
Speaker 1: into the hotel room drawers when they arrive, and there's
Speaker 1: the ones who live out of a suitcase. I'd always
Speaker 1: been the latter, mostly because the shit I've gone through
Speaker 1: has been well a lot to unpack. But in the
Speaker 1: spirit of what doctor Wiley calls healthy coping strategies, and
Speaker 1: with a full two weeks of process, I think it's
Speaker 1: finally time to unpack. Last year, Elias and Santi became
Speaker 1: unwitting pawns and a conversion popper scheme run by the
Speaker 1: elusive Miasma Corporation, although it may be more accurate to
Speaker 1: call Elias a witting pawn. Ensuring he'd received the research grant.
Speaker 1: After graduation, Elias killed his only competitor, Santy. That feels
Speaker 1: really extreme, but I guess when you factor in Elias's
Speaker 1: other quirks.
Speaker 10: I didn't agree to.
Speaker 8: Make the hookup because I hate being gay.
Speaker 3: I did it to be the only.
Speaker 1: Gay what it makes a little more sense. Santy stood
Speaker 1: between Elias and his ambition on the topic of elias.
Speaker 1: I don't totally know the latest there. Last I heard
Speaker 1: he's being charged for something arson adjacent, but any evidence
Speaker 1: of the hookup was destroyed in the fire or removed
Speaker 1: from it. Ah, here's a detail I may want to
Speaker 1: iron out before I tuck it away. Santi specifically, where
Speaker 1: is he? Where is his body? Some detective work hunt.
Speaker 1: And yes, I know the elephant in the room is
Speaker 1: my asthma Core, the mysterious organization behind the Ashcroft Inlet
Speaker 1: Foundation and by extension, the hook on them. Unsurprisingly, there's
Speaker 1: nothing about them online, and I'm working on digging deeper,
Speaker 1: but really it's not a top priority right now. I
Speaker 1: just can't keep putting myself in danger, not for Santy,
Speaker 1: not for anyone. I used to think he needed me,
Speaker 1: that I was Santy's only chance of rescue, but that
Speaker 1: was never the case. I mean, without this mystery to
Speaker 1: consume me, all I'd be left with this past year
Speaker 1: was the remaining men in my life, which is a
Speaker 1: historically grim demographic. I mean, even now, take Mateo, even
Speaker 1: though he's been hive, mind free and completely autonomous since
Speaker 1: I incinerated the link up device, sexuality didn't revert back
Speaker 1: Like all the other former goons, Mateo is still straight. Also,
Speaker 1: like the other former goons, Mateo doesn't talk to me much.
Speaker 1: I did see him yesterday at the library. I would
Speaker 1: have said hi.
Speaker 2: Except.
Speaker 1: Intermediate Marine Science, Advanced Seismic Oceanography, seaweed and other aquatic
Speaker 1: jump scares.
Speaker 10: No. I'm serious, Mateo.
Speaker 7: I didn't know when you asked me to hang if
Speaker 7: it was just like a study aid or.
Speaker 1: A day daid. Matteo was with a girl my freshman
Speaker 1: year Ra Actually Meg.
Speaker 3: Honestly I wasn't sure either. But something about you, Meg,
Speaker 3: You're an enigma, like.
Speaker 1: The thing you used to clean out your butt.
Speaker 3: Do you hear something?
Speaker 1: P and Peter finished his semester at Crestwick and returned
Speaker 1: to Cape Town. Shockingly, he doesn't keep in touch. Prize
Speaker 1: be to good getting me out of that Hellescype Town.
Speaker 1: One former hookup goon doesn't hate me at.
Speaker 11: Least save me in Come in, come in, Hey, thanks
Speaker 11: for meeting me here.
Speaker 3: I appreciate it.
Speaker 8: Not at all.
Speaker 1: I love the Ludlow Lodge, great memories here fire. If anything,
Speaker 1: bell Boy has been quite apologetic. I keep telling him
Speaker 1: it's fine.
Speaker 11: He wasn't himself which is why I feel like this
Speaker 11: could be like a great opportunity to start fresh, you know,
Speaker 11: new sexuality, new me, and soon new apartment.
Speaker 1: Ah, hence the boxes. Yeah, I'm donating most of it.
Speaker 11: So if you want anything from the gay stuff pile,
Speaker 11: feel free.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll bite come again the gay stuff pile.
Speaker 11: Well yeah, I mean, since the hookup turn me straight,
Speaker 11: I don't have any use for my gay shit.
Speaker 7: Have a look if you want mmm.
Speaker 2: Mmmm mm hm oh yeah I should.
Speaker 1: That's gay. Hey I remember these you're tossing your medieval
Speaker 1: weapons boxer briefs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty kay right.
Speaker 11: Besides, they're not even mine. Some dude left them here
Speaker 11: after we screwed a while back.
Speaker 1: Jesus you kept them.
Speaker 11: They've got battle access Bro.
Speaker 1: Really though, I've started to think bell Boy only apologizes
Speaker 1: so much and hopes it'll reciprocate and apologize for stabbing
Speaker 1: him with a starfish, which I won't.
Speaker 11: I just like really value the value of an apology,
Speaker 11: you know. I mean, I'm falling down these sorry so
Speaker 11: you can heal apologies, help us heal, Bro.
Speaker 1: The thing is I kind of have been healing. I
Speaker 1: mean it could be thanks to Bell Boy's apologies, but
Speaker 1: I think it's more likely something else, Doctor Wiley. I
Speaker 1: haven't been honest. Oh yes, the truth is that guy
Speaker 1: Santi I told you about.
Speaker 8: We didn't break up like I said, he went missing.
Speaker 4: Yes, I know, hhmm, Damien, it's a small town. Of course,
Speaker 4: I knew about the Crestwick student named Santi who went
Speaker 4: missing exactly when you said your Saunty broke up with you.
Speaker 8: So all this time you were just, oh my god.
Speaker 4: Do you want to try this again from the.
Speaker 1: Top, And so I did. I finally told doctor Wiley everything,
Speaker 1: and this time just the facts. The villagers gathered in
Speaker 1: the town square, drenched in the blood of their massacred
Speaker 1: chickens werewolf. The town crier screams. That's kind of been
Speaker 1: the motif of the month. Truth. Like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: this entire half baked investigation has really just been a
Speaker 1: series of lies and deceptions. Every step I've taken and
Speaker 1: every man I've touched has been a means to an end,
Speaker 1: simply an undercover's mission to gather intel. Until now, See,
Speaker 1: there is this one guy who makes opening up and
Speaker 1: being honest feel really doable, and despite my crippling fears,
Speaker 1: the real Damien Hurst hasn't deterred him yet. So who
Speaker 1: is this mystery? Gentleman I've been seeing?
Speaker 3: Why are you going through my drawers?
Speaker 8: Wait?
Speaker 1: Honestly, the drawers are an accidental prop I was using
Speaker 1: in a mental metaphor to work through my thoughts.
Speaker 3: You should have just said you're sniffing my underwear. It
Speaker 3: would have been less weird. Although if I were a
Speaker 3: big shot Veronica Martian tier detective like you, babe, I'd
Speaker 3: probably have a lot to work through too.
Speaker 1: Not even what do you mean? Well, I didn't really
Speaker 1: solve anything, did I? I mean we only found the
Speaker 1: brewery because of the ads Metal was sending me. I
Speaker 1: never figured out why the metal alert sound temporarily disrupts
Speaker 1: the polycule's influence. Honestly, what part of this did I solve?
Speaker 1: What if I'm just not a good detective at my core?
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just not cut out to be an investigative journalist.
Speaker 3: I always thought it was obvious you're Scooby. You don't
Speaker 3: have to set the traps or make the plans. You
Speaker 3: just have to derail them until you, in some roundabout way,
Speaker 3: arrive at the right conclusion.
Speaker 1: I'm on the fence about that comment.
Speaker 3: Hey, since you seem to know your way around my dresser,
Speaker 3: can you grab me a pair of boxers? We're gonna
Speaker 3: be late for the game.
Speaker 1: I'll bet you head the Crustaceans lose again.
Speaker 3: I planned on getting head from you tonight either way,
Speaker 3: but sure deal, bib Oh, and will you click on
Speaker 3: the electric kettle too, it's gonna be a rama night.
Speaker 3: Careful you don't trip on the cord.
Speaker 1: I know my credibility takes a hit when I end
Speaker 1: up dating guys that I previously declared the Antichrist. But
Speaker 1: maybe I misjudge waited first, or maybe my initial assessment
Speaker 1: was correct and I've since gotten worse and met him
Speaker 1: at his level. Either way, I think he makes me happy.
Speaker 3: These underwear which ones? Oh, medieval castles get your voice?
Speaker 3: If you like the medieval theme, there should be a
Speaker 3: pair with knights in there too. There used to be
Speaker 3: a third pair in the set.
Speaker 1: With medieval weapons print.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I left them at a guy's place.
Speaker 1: Though, if Wade and bell Boy were at any point
Speaker 1: hooking up, then isn't it possible it was Wade who
Speaker 1: left the medieval weapons boxer briefs at bell Boy's place?
Speaker 1: And even though bell Boy had an alibi at the
Speaker 1: time of the disappearance, an accomplice could still have used
Speaker 1: his motel employee perks to pull off the murder. Perks
Speaker 1: like precise knowledge of the building CCTV dead zones, dang
Speaker 1: you good. Perks like access to the normally locked dumb waiter, which,
Speaker 1: if we trust the vision MATEO pulled from the polycule,
Speaker 1: we know Santi's body was at some point stored inside.
Speaker 1: May perks like keys to our Oh it was you, Wade,
Speaker 1: you killed Santy.
Speaker 3: I deny it, but I don't want to keep lying
Speaker 3: to you. Hey, hey, you're okay.
Speaker 8: Don't touch me.
Speaker 3: How did you know?
Speaker 1: Are you working for my asthma?
Speaker 3: No? I really don't know anything about them.
Speaker 1: Oh really, I'm supposed to believe you just killed Santy
Speaker 1: in a crime of passion.
Speaker 3: I liked Santi, I really really liked him, and I
Speaker 3: knew that he didn't feel the same. I used to
Speaker 3: wonder if maybe he was just the type of person
Speaker 3: who didn't show his feelings until he met you, and
Speaker 3: then I saw in his eyes, just from the few
Speaker 3: times he mentioned Damien Hurst, that he really really liked you. Granted,
Speaker 3: I also got that message when he broke things off
Speaker 3: with me.
Speaker 1: So a few days later you followed him to the
Speaker 1: Ludlow Lodge to kill him.
Speaker 3: No, I was already there that night with Bell Boy.
Speaker 3: He had access to vacant rooms, so sometimes he'd DM
Speaker 3: me and I'd come over.
Speaker 1: Of course he would.
Speaker 3: I didn't want you to ever know this, s Damien.
Speaker 3: It was before I really knew you and fell in love.
Speaker 1: Just just tell me what happened that night.
Speaker 3: On top of Santhi's rejection, I was licking my wounds
Speaker 3: from being outed only days earlier. So when I got
Speaker 3: the booty called to meet bell Boy at Ludlow Lodge,
Speaker 3: it came as a much needed distraction. But as luck
Speaker 3: would have it.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna grab ice for the champagne. Why don't you
Speaker 5: get showered? You're sticky.
Speaker 3: You gotta be fucking joking. Wait, what are you doing here? Hi, Santiago,
Speaker 3: Nice to see you too. Are you drunk?
Speaker 7: Wow?
Speaker 3: You should be in a detective story. You're blocking the
Speaker 3: ice machine. Ice ice for champagne?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: Did you? And Damien? Finally, what do you want?
Speaker 10: Wade?
Speaker 3: What do I want? A goddamn second of your time?
Speaker 3: Is that okay? Like I was saying. I don't know
Speaker 3: if he's told you, but Damien's not as unsullied as
Speaker 3: he was was. I would know because I was there.
Speaker 3: You might even say I was there first. Yeah, your
Speaker 3: precious SANTHI drew first blood. Get off me. What the
Speaker 3: fuck you need to cool down something?
Speaker 1: You slammed Santy's face into the ice machine? What the fuck? Wade?
Speaker 3: I just wanted him to snap out of it and
Speaker 3: stop hitting me. I didn't think anything bad would happen
Speaker 3: to him, that it's just ice. Hey, Santi, you're awake.
Speaker 7: Shit.
Speaker 3: I opened the ice hatch to get a better look, but.
Speaker 1: There was no ice. The machine was broken that night,
Speaker 1: So when you shoved Santy and the ice machine to
Speaker 1: cool down and knocked him out, he wasn't resting on
Speaker 1: a pile of ice.
Speaker 3: The ice had melted. He was face down in a
Speaker 3: puddle of water. Sonny, Sandy, Sonny. When I realized what
Speaker 3: I'd done, I called the nearest person I could think for.
Speaker 1: Help, bell Boy, And knowing I'd come looking for Santy soon,
Speaker 1: you must have figured you didn't have enough time to
Speaker 1: come up with a permanent body disposal plan. But with
Speaker 1: bell Boy's key ring you could quickly access the derelict
Speaker 1: dumbwaiter for a temporary storage. How did you convince balboy
Speaker 1: to help you cover up a murder?
Speaker 3: I'm not proud of it, but I took advantage of
Speaker 3: his panic.
Speaker 9: Fuck Belboy, your fingerprints are everywhere.
Speaker 3: You're gonna get the electricure so hard if anyone finds
Speaker 3: out about this wow arming.
Speaker 1: Then, after stuffing Santy's body in the chute, bell Boy
Speaker 1: loft it back up into its rusted, seemingly untouched position.
Speaker 3: Since the Ludlow County PD couldn't find any signs of
Speaker 3: fel play, I had no trouble coming back the next
Speaker 3: day to retrieve the body. Ah, but you still can't
Speaker 3: figure out where I ultimately disposed of him. After that.
Speaker 3: You're gonna kick yourself for not getting this one. I didn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't dispose of Santi's body. When I came back
Speaker 3: the next day, I noticed the ice machine was back
Speaker 3: up and running, and I used a similar one of
Speaker 3: those big industrial types before at a bust Boy gig,
Speaker 3: so I knew exactly how deceptively deep the ice beacing goes.
Speaker 1: You mean Santy is still there? No, No, there's no way.
Speaker 1: I mean they would have discovered his body during the renovation.
Speaker 3: I was worried about that too, but thanks to cheap landlords,
Speaker 3: the ice machines remained untouched. You can see for yourself.
Speaker 3: Just not right now.
Speaker 8: Let me out of here.
Speaker 3: Can't help.
Speaker 8: What the fuck, Wade?
Speaker 3: Sit? I'm sorry, I don't know what to do. Fuck,
Speaker 3: I've told you so much.
Speaker 8: What are you doing?
Speaker 1: He's on top of me now, like straddling me?
Speaker 2: What is he?
Speaker 3: Sorry? I know what to do is to you, Wade?
Speaker 10: Now wait stop, I can't breathe.
Speaker 1: The only way to kill the Mukade without summoning the
Speaker 1: Horde is to boil it alive. I can't keep stomping
Speaker 1: on my problems. Got to boil the centipede once and
Speaker 1: for all.
Speaker 3: The tea kettle cord. This hurts me more than it
Speaker 3: hurts you.
Speaker 8: No, Wade, it doesn't.
Speaker 3: But it's about to go. Have a fucking face.
Speaker 8: Get off me. Hey, Siri, call Santi.
Speaker 2: Santi's phone.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I thought you were crazy going on about this popper's
Speaker 9: conversion conspiracy shit, but I also realized that you wouldn't
Speaker 9: stop searching for Sandi until you got an answer.
Speaker 1: So you took advantage of Elias's unrelated crimes and pentned
Speaker 1: Santi's murder on him too.
Speaker 3: I wasn't really gonna let you die, Damien, and I'm not.
Speaker 1: Gonna stop looking for the truth until I find you. Well,
Speaker 1: I found the truth, or more accurately, I guess the
Speaker 1: truth found me. Like I said, it was hardly my
Speaker 1: deductive prowess that busted this case open. And yet as
Speaker 1: I process all this, underscored by the soothing drone of
Speaker 1: Wade trying to reattach his face, I'm suddenly not so
Speaker 1: bothered by my gum shoe shortcomings. I mean, so what
Speaker 1: if I missed some red flag. That's what dating is.
Speaker 1: I can't beat myself up for every clue I overlooked
Speaker 1: or every hypothesis I misjudged. I have other people to
Speaker 1: beat up for that. Now. Yeah, I might not be
Speaker 1: the best detective in Ludlow Hills, but I'm alright with that,
Speaker 1: because sometimes to solve a mystery, gotta let things slip
Speaker 1: through the cracks.
Speaker 5: Calculating joke score.
Speaker 1: Written and directed by Noah Feinberg, That's Me. Sound design
Speaker 1: and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, Starring Noah Feinberg as Damien
Speaker 1: Ray Santiago as Santy and A Matteo, Nico Greatham as Wade,
Speaker 1: Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans as Big Tuck, Jeffrey
Speaker 1: Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino as Doctor, y, Obia
Speaker 1: Bailey as p and Peter, Gabrielle Ruiz as Joma, Sadie
Speaker 1: Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices by Megan Taylor, Harvey, Susan C. Bennett, Verona,
Speaker 1: blue Mark Bramhall, Brian Daniel Porter, Chris Dickey, Aaron Cocher,
Speaker 1: Christopher Corbyn, Kiff Vandenhuable and Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by
Speaker 1: Alex Yoder, Casting director Sonny Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive
Speaker 1: producers from iHeart, Trevor Young and Matt Frederick. Executive producers
Speaker 1: from Blumbhouse Chris Sticky and Noah Feinberg. That's Me Executive
Speaker 1: producers from Mber twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellen. Supervising
Speaker 1: producer Rachel Foley, editor Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 10: That's Me, Everyone, Please stand back.
Speaker 6: Major Fire at Chock Full of Nets, Adult Neutie, corner
Speaker 6: of Locus and ripton repeat. Major Fire Fire appears to
Speaker 6: have originated in the basement approaching Central Chain are now, how.
Speaker 3: Is this place? Keep your guard up, Jesus, what happened here?
Speaker 3: You guys? Smell that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like something I kill.
Speaker 6: What is that?
Speaker 2: Guys?
Speaker 3: Guys, you're okay.