Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Breaking news out of Yeah, that's right, Canada, just.
Speaker 1: Into the news deck.
Speaker 3: The cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has just done it again.
Speaker 2: Which brings us to our brand new segment, the fifth
Speaker 2: in the cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has.
Speaker 1: Just done it again. So apparently.
Speaker 2: The cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has done it again. Here's
Speaker 2: the sentence I'm assuming does not follow that sentence Save
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 4: The hours long city council meeting deteriorated into a spectacle.
Speaker 4: Mayor rob Ford at one point or mocking a council
Speaker 4: member suspected of driving drugs.
Speaker 5: Mayorpot please stop disrupting amid the chaos.
Speaker 4: Mayor Ford nearly not a councilwoman to the ground as
Speaker 4: he ran across the room.
Speaker 2: Poor woman, the poor councilor. You know, she got into
Speaker 2: politics thinking, you know, this may be a dirty, unrewarding business,
Speaker 2: but at least I'll never have to worry about going
Speaker 2: to work and being trampled by a crackhead. And there's
Speaker 2: a reason Robeford may have been worked up by that
Speaker 2: particular city council meeting.
Speaker 3: The city council in Toronto has just begun debating a
Speaker 3: measure that would strip its cracksmoking mayor of most of
Speaker 3: his power.
Speaker 2: Wait, smoking crack gives you powers? Are those powers and
Speaker 2: unquenchable thirst for a crack? But oddly, and Mayor Ford's case,
Speaker 2: with great powers come very little responsibility. So how did
Speaker 2: the Council's attempt to strip Mayor rob Ford of his
Speaker 2: powers turn out?
Speaker 6: Ford went down thirty six votes to five.
Speaker 1: Five votes.
Speaker 2: Who voted to continue to give this man.
Speaker 7: Power.
Speaker 2: I imagine he must have given a very impassioned defense.
Speaker 8: His hansa This.
Speaker 9: Folks reminds me of one and I was watching it
Speaker 9: with my brother.
Speaker 1: When Sadam attacked Kuwait.
Speaker 9: You guys have just attacked Kuwait and you will never.
Speaker 2: Saddam was saying, attacking Quait. Look, the reference may be dated,
Speaker 2: but in rob Ford's defense, it may be one of
Speaker 2: the last things he remembers. I know, I know there
Speaker 2: was an invasion of Kuwait. The next thing I know.
Speaker 1: I woke up it was the mayor. I don't know
Speaker 1: how well.
Speaker 2: The vote yesterday capped off a hell of a couple
Speaker 2: of days for rob Ford, including an interview with CNN
Speaker 2: where he surrounded himself with school children and then said this,
Speaker 2: said enough, I.
Speaker 1: Was sick and tired of all these allegations and all
Speaker 1: this should excuse my words, and that's all it is. Sorry, kids,
Speaker 1: I should have sworn it from the kids. I just,
Speaker 1: I just, I just I should have done that.
Speaker 10: I should have done that.
Speaker 2: I feel like for doing out Jesus. That's another that's
Speaker 2: another cup right down.
Speaker 1: What did I do just there? I just said it again?
Speaker 11: Me No, not bad.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 2: I'm such a spunner all What am I doing?
Speaker 11: Right about the kids?
Speaker 2: But rob Ford is not in denial, says Rob Ford,
Speaker 2: he knows he's not perfect.
Speaker 1: This this is the thing. I don't look at myself
Speaker 1: as the mayor. I look at.
Speaker 9: Myself as just a normal regular person.
Speaker 2: Then go back to being one. Amazingly, after all this,
Speaker 2: Rob Ford does have a few supporters left in Toronto.
Speaker 2: We shot around Jessica Williams up to talk to a
Speaker 2: few of them.
Speaker 7: Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford has provided the world with a
Speaker 7: series of incredible political highlights.
Speaker 9: Olivia Gondack says that I wanted to eat it from Gonduck.
Speaker 1: I've never said that in my life tour. I would
Speaker 1: never do that. I'm half be married. I've got more
Speaker 1: than enough to eat at home. Size.
Speaker 2: Have you purchased illegal drugs in the last two years, Yes.
Speaker 7: I have, And recently, in a response to his egregious behavior,
Speaker 7: the City Council of Toronto voted thirty six to five
Speaker 7: to ask Rob Ford to leave city Hall. So I
Speaker 7: went to Toronto to see who the hell were these
Speaker 7: five people and why they didn't just dump the mayor Outright,
Speaker 7: he smoked crack, Right, that's what he's told us, and
Speaker 7: he's talked about eating at a press conference.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 10: I didn't hear that comment live, but the recorded version
Speaker 10: I heard had one of those words bleeped out.
Speaker 7: Oh, it definitely said.
Speaker 10: I think they just bleeped it out again.
Speaker 7: So why did you vote against that motion? Were you
Speaker 7: on crack as well?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 10: If you look at the motion in its parts, it
Speaker 10: invites them to leave, that's the good part. But then
Speaker 10: it invites them to come back. That's the part how
Speaker 10: I couldn't tolerate.
Speaker 7: Oh, so the motion wasn't harsh enough for Parker, but
Speaker 7: he did have another way to punish the mayor.
Speaker 10: Some of us thought that the conduct of the mayor
Speaker 10: might well be brought before the integrity Commissioner and ask
Speaker 10: her to report with her comments and her advice.
Speaker 7: Do you guys also have an obvious commissioner? I get
Speaker 7: the goal Council.
Speaker 10: Well, we didn't think we would need anything of the sort.
Speaker 7: See in America, we have a ton of experience with
Speaker 7: this kind of thing, but Toronto is truly incapable of
Speaker 7: dealing with.
Speaker 10: Ass We have an election coming up next fall, and
Speaker 10: we'll see what happens then.
Speaker 7: Next fall in twenty fourteen, twenty fourteen, What is wrong
Speaker 7: with the system here?
Speaker 10: Well, some people here call it democracy.
Speaker 7: Oh no, it's more like a plus socracy. Nobody has
Speaker 7: the balls to do something around here.
Speaker 10: Well I never thought of it in quite those terms.
Speaker 7: But how could this guy get reelected? Who in their
Speaker 7: right mind are the almost twenty five percent of Torontonians
Speaker 7: who still support him.
Speaker 1: He's doing a great job.
Speaker 12: Rob Ford is the most fiscally responsible mayor we've had
Speaker 12: in our city since I've been alive.
Speaker 6: Everything he said he's going to do, he's got done.
Speaker 7: Was it weird to say responsible and Rob Ford in
Speaker 7: the same.
Speaker 8: Sentence, Absolutely not.
Speaker 7: How much is too much crack. For rob Ford to
Speaker 7: smoke where you would have an issue, it have to.
Speaker 1: Be where it affects his performance at his job.
Speaker 7: Hold, ihne, is this too much crack?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not?
Speaker 7: Is this too much crack? Uh?
Speaker 1: Nope?
Speaker 7: How about this? Is this too much crack? So there
Speaker 7: is a line between a functioning mayor and a problem.
Speaker 7: Let's see if he can tell the difference between his
Speaker 7: mayor and Oh, let's say, Charlie Sheen, I am a
Speaker 7: sick mother.
Speaker 1: For dude, Charlie Sheen.
Speaker 7: Wrong, that's rob Ford.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 7: Yeah, here's another one. Yes, I have smoke crack cocaine.
Speaker 7: But am I an addict? No? Have I tried it?
Speaker 7: Probably in one of my drunken stupords.
Speaker 1: That is definitely rob Ford.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that was a giveaway. That was an easy one.
Speaker 7: I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have
Speaker 7: time for their judgment and their stupidity.
Speaker 1: Rob Ford?
Speaker 7: Nope, that's Charlie Sheen.
Speaker 8: Really that sounds like a rob Ford.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I know they're so similar. So people would still vote
Speaker 7: for rob Ford? Is it maybe because his behavior is
Speaker 7: not unusual in Toronto workplaces?
Speaker 13: Hi?
Speaker 7: What can I get chatted?
Speaker 10: I think it alt type, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Are you smoking crack?
Speaker 7: Yes, this is the most annoyingly polite place on earth.
Speaker 7: And then he said I wanted to suck his I've
Speaker 7: never said that in my life. I would never do that.
Speaker 7: I've got more than enough to suck at Rome, and
Speaker 7: no one confronted me about my Ford like approach to work.
Speaker 7: Maybe this city deserves its major.
Speaker 12: I think he's made mistakes in the past, but I
Speaker 12: don't believe we should hold that against him forever.
Speaker 7: So re elect Rob Ford the hood rat stuffs in
Speaker 7: the past.
Speaker 10: I believe the hood rat stuff's in the past.
Speaker 7: So reelect Rob Ford that hood rats in the past.
Speaker 14: The financial crash of two thousand and eight brought a
Speaker 14: new focus on the behavior of Wall Street, But what
Speaker 14: happened to the regulations that were promising it's wake.
Speaker 12: The largest financial institutions have been doing everything they can
Speaker 12: to make sure that financial regulations don't get it put
Speaker 12: in place.
Speaker 14: And that's exactly the way it should be. According to
Speaker 14: champions of the free market, men like hedge fund manager
Speaker 14: John Tobacco, we.
Speaker 3: Don't need these socialist forms of regulation. The Elizabeth Warrens
Speaker 3: of the world coming down and sticking their little fingers
Speaker 3: and micromanaging the capital markets.
Speaker 14: So if those women came down with their little hands,
Speaker 14: what would we wind up looking like?
Speaker 3: We'd start looking a hell of a lot more like Canada.
Speaker 1: And nobody wants that. I should know. I'm from Canada.
Speaker 14: A horrific country where the financial system is heavily regulated
Speaker 14: by a centralized government office that sets rules on almost
Speaker 14: every type of transaction. I reluctantly traveled back back to
Speaker 14: Toronto and sat down with the CEO of Canada's eighth
Speaker 14: largest bank to hear his tales of woe about over regulation.
Speaker 12: The model of regulation we have had in this country
Speaker 12: has been a huge contributor to the stability of the
Speaker 12: banking system and the stability of our economy.
Speaker 1: But regulation doesn't work.
Speaker 12: It definitely slows things down a little bit. But the
Speaker 12: Canadian banking system has not had a crash in one
Speaker 12: hundred and fifty years or even longer. Housing crash, absolutely,
Speaker 12: not the Internet bubble.
Speaker 8: There's a couple of stocks maybe that went down, but
Speaker 8: no no.
Speaker 1: Market crash of eighty seven.
Speaker 12: Market crash in eighty seven, I don't think it was
Speaker 12: one that certainly affected the banking system.
Speaker 1: But about the Great Depression.
Speaker 12: No, our banking system persevered through the Great Depression as well.
Speaker 14: A ridiculous claim substantiated by nothing more than facts. But
Speaker 14: a real capitalist would know that's not the point.
Speaker 3: The American financial system is the last bastion of free
Speaker 3: market capitalism in the world. It's the greatest system the
Speaker 3: world has ever known.
Speaker 1: What about the statistical evidence that shows otherwise? What's statistical events? Well,
Speaker 1: since seventeen ninety, the US has had sixteen.
Speaker 14: Banking crisises in Canada has had zero.
Speaker 1: There have been bubbles and bursts in the US.
Speaker 3: But if you're educated and you're prepared, you should be
Speaker 3: able to profit.
Speaker 14: You see, these bubbles in bursts are just a bit
Speaker 14: of harmless free market fun.
Speaker 12: There's nothing fun about people's house losing fifty percent of
Speaker 12: their value.
Speaker 1: But you can make money off that busting.
Speaker 12: There are some people, a very few amount of people,
Speaker 12: who can make money.
Speaker 1: The rest of them, who cares? Are you serious? I
Speaker 1: would never ever say that. Why not?
Speaker 12: It's an outrageous thing to say.
Speaker 1: Screw them?
Speaker 14: No, Oh my god, somebody please please teach these people.
Speaker 1: How to bank.
Speaker 3: We have a lot of products here in the US
Speaker 3: that the Canadians can take a hint from like, for example,
Speaker 3: collateralized mortgage obligations. Although we went overboard with them, it's
Speaker 3: still a product that worked.
Speaker 1: Do you guys who over under inside outside loans? No?
Speaker 12: Never never heard of those.
Speaker 1: It's a reverse shrinking derivative.
Speaker 8: Okay, still never hear of it.
Speaker 14: Unlike Americans, average Canadians have been denied these financial instruments,
Speaker 14: leaving them confused about what a banker really is.
Speaker 1: When I say the word banker, what comes to mind?
Speaker 8: Trustworthy?
Speaker 15: Uh?
Speaker 1: Consider it. When I say the word banker, what comes
Speaker 1: to mind?
Speaker 7: Cockroaches, greedy little prits.
Speaker 1: They're just like an extension of my family.
Speaker 11: Please, disrespectful, reliable, backstabbing, transparent, money grubbing.
Speaker 1: I love Canadian banks. Yeah, pieces of That's what they are.
Speaker 1: And that is the real problem with regulation. It attacks the.
Speaker 14: Proud rich culture of the banker, an exciting lifestyle of
Speaker 14: offensive wealth that, sadly, in some parts of the world,
Speaker 14: has already been lost.
Speaker 12: We have fun, of herod, We have fun.
Speaker 1: No, you don't. We do. Prove to me that you
Speaker 1: are fun. Well.
Speaker 12: Put on the spot, I guess I could tell you
Speaker 12: a joke, So tell me a joke, then, So a
Speaker 12: duck walks into a pharmacy and he asks for some chapstick,
Speaker 12: and when he goes to pay, he says, put it
Speaker 12: on my bill.
Speaker 1: That's not a joke.
Speaker 3: What's the difference between jelly and jam?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: You can't jelly in a girl's mouth, zing.
Speaker 14: And you can't jam regulation down a country's throat, because
Speaker 14: to do so would be to undermine our nation's entire
Speaker 14: financial philosophy.
Speaker 1: Finish this great American banking mantra. Greed is bad, Greed
Speaker 1: is dangerous. Okay, I guess Canadian Wall Street version is
Speaker 1: a little different.
Speaker 14: So America, you can have regulation, but only if you're
Speaker 14: prepared to live in a world that looks like this.
Speaker 1: The point is, ladies and gentlemen, a greed, for lack
Speaker 1: of a better word, is not good. Greed is rom Greed.
Speaker 12: Is not a quality that people look for in their bankers.
Speaker 2: Eh, thank you very much, good speech, Cordal way to
Speaker 2: be ethical, pal.
Speaker 14: Oh, Canada, I'm so glad I left you.
Speaker 2: Immigration. Immigration is an enormous issue in this country, but
Speaker 2: we're not the only country dealing with it.
Speaker 1: Dan Buckatol reports.
Speaker 6: Mexicans they're tearing America apart, and they've gotten so good
Speaker 6: at country tearing they're taking it up north. Paul From,
Speaker 6: founder of the Canada First Immigration Reform Committee, knows the danger.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're being invaded.
Speaker 16: In fact, what we suspect is happening is that large
Speaker 16: numbers of Mexicans will will hispanicize Canadian culture.
Speaker 6: Right, Canadian culture. And that's terrible because that is what
Speaker 6: is that exactly, and all of that culture is at risk.
Speaker 6: Who is to blame besides the Mexicans.
Speaker 16: Government policy which wants to replace our population, greedy businessmen,
Speaker 16: and of course immigration lawyers who make a bucket load
Speaker 16: of money off.
Speaker 6: Consultant immigration lawyer like David Rosenblat, who's part of a
Speaker 6: nationwide movement encouraging this Hispanicization. There aren't enough Canadians to
Speaker 6: satisfy the jobs that are here. Why don't you just
Speaker 6: create new people that are already Canadians.
Speaker 1: It's just not a viable solution.
Speaker 6: So you're hoping that these Mexicans will screw the women
Speaker 6: that Canadians aren't willing to screw.
Speaker 12: I didn't quite say that Canadians are very active sexually.
Speaker 1: We've got a lot of very good looking.
Speaker 6: People put on a scale of Pam Anderson's Canadian Who
Speaker 6: else besides Pam Anderson?
Speaker 8: There are just lots nuts and louts.
Speaker 1: I can go on and on, go on.
Speaker 6: And on, but he can't name any because he's too
Speaker 6: busy turning Canada into a Mexican pinata. Let's say I'm
Speaker 6: a Canadian and a Mexican moves in next door. What
Speaker 6: can I expect?
Speaker 16: But will probably depend on the type of Mexican you've got.
Speaker 6: Let's say it's your typical Mexican.
Speaker 16: You'll get their particular lifestyle, the loud cars, the yard
Speaker 16: not taken care of in quite the same tidy little
Speaker 16: way an Italian or Anglo Saxon might do. They won't
Speaker 16: take any direction, put your litre in the garbage, or
Speaker 16: don't urinate here or whatever.
Speaker 6: Still think these urinehappy job thieves aren't a problem. We'll
Speaker 6: meet Exhibit A in Canada's immigration job fleecing crisis, Raffi Torres.
Speaker 6: He's the most feared kind of professional hockey player Mexican.
Speaker 6: How did you cross the border into Canada?
Speaker 8: I didn't really have to cross the border.
Speaker 10: My und my dad all across them both.
Speaker 1: But when he was twenty five.
Speaker 6: Oh well, then I guess we won't be needing your
Speaker 6: services today.
Speaker 8: That was to you.
Speaker 6: Oh you can go okay, but soon all Canadians will
Speaker 6: need translators thanks to Senor Rosen Blat. So why Mexicans,
Speaker 6: I mean, I mean, I know why you're not taking
Speaker 6: Americans because America kicks ass and nobody wants to leave.
Speaker 1: But why Mexicans.
Speaker 12: First of all, let me tell you, we do get
Speaker 12: contacted by a lot of Americans.
Speaker 8: We are interested in bringing up Americans.
Speaker 1: There there are any Americans that do want to come.
Speaker 6: We have a don't listen to him, don't listen to
Speaker 6: what he said.
Speaker 1: Happy to take America. It's a lot.
Speaker 6: There are no jobs, there's no Americans interested in coming
Speaker 6: up here. As Mexicans continue to hispanicize the Canadian landscape,
Speaker 6: their looms an even greater threat.
Speaker 16: Mexicans will use uh Canada as a as a launching
Speaker 16: point for a backdoor UH invasion of the United States.
Speaker 6: Right, So they're gonna they're gonna go up into Canada
Speaker 6: and then pull the shaker on us.
Speaker 16: Yeah, because the border is still pretty pretty poorous.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and if you don't know it's coming, it hurts, Right, So.
Speaker 1: You, It's gonna be very messy in the end.
Speaker 6: There's only one way to save Canada, stand up to
Speaker 6: these Mexicans. So good luck Canada.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: The uncertainty surrounding the Ukrainian election may indeed make our
Speaker 2: own election.
Speaker 1: After math seems quite peaceful.
Speaker 2: But as President Bush, that's his agenda for the next
Speaker 2: four years, you may find himself governing an entirely different country.
Speaker 1: Samantha b has More.
Speaker 5: The re election of George Bush has further cemented conservative
Speaker 5: control of this country. The Republican victory has brought Canada
Speaker 5: back in the news, with many convinced that life would
Speaker 5: be better on the other side of the border. People
Speaker 5: like Marta Scobb.
Speaker 17: I am a Canadian Conservative and I want to move
Speaker 17: to America.
Speaker 5: Yes, with its tolerant society, low crime rate and free healthcare.
Speaker 5: Canada is a hell on earth for people like Marta.
Speaker 5: What's the main reason that you want to take off
Speaker 5: from the great White North.
Speaker 8: We're weak, boring.
Speaker 17: The Bland, leading the Bland, Vanilla Vanilla all right? As
Speaker 17: I said, Bland, I'm often asked whether white bread all
Speaker 17: right and white bread.
Speaker 5: Marta is far from alone. Mark Graham is another conservative
Speaker 5: Canadian who says he'd make a good American.
Speaker 18: I look at myself as an intellectual. Say intellectual, I'm
Speaker 18: a little I'm very sophisticated. Actually I associate with in
Speaker 18: the US. You would consider them Nascar fans.
Speaker 5: But does American need more cultural sophisticates? And are these
Speaker 5: Canadians conservative enough? Okay? Mini citizenship test? Tell me whether
Speaker 5: you want more or less of each item?
Speaker 18: Government, less guns, more, a lot, more big guns, gays.
Speaker 17: I guess I'll have to go with less God.
Speaker 5: More grizzlies.
Speaker 1: Do you say, grizzlies? More, abortions less? None?
Speaker 5: And the most important question, how much do you hate
Speaker 5: the French?
Speaker 17: Can I tell you a secret, Samantha, Please, For a
Speaker 17: long long time, I have worn poison as my signature.
Speaker 17: Ifume so, I am about I've been looking for a
Speaker 17: replacement because I don't buy French goods anymore.
Speaker 8: Okay.
Speaker 5: With heartland values like these, the Canadians should be welcomed
Speaker 5: by their conservative counterparts in the USA.
Speaker 10: Stay home, fix your own problems in your own country.
Speaker 5: Except that American conservatives don't like immigrants.
Speaker 13: Right now, we need to shut the border down, the
Speaker 13: northern border, the southern border.
Speaker 1: And the coast.
Speaker 5: Is it bad even for Canadians to come here? Most
Speaker 5: of them aren't even brown or anything.
Speaker 2: If we did what they do, we would all be
Speaker 2: in jail.
Speaker 1: But no, they can get away with it. They are invaders.
Speaker 5: You seem really angry and upset about this.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I'm always like this.
Speaker 5: We spoke to an American conservative about Canadian conservatives who
Speaker 5: want to move to the US, and his message was clear,
Speaker 5: go blow yourself.
Speaker 17: Uh off Fox.
Speaker 5: As for Mark Graham, he's still optimistic he'll find a
Speaker 5: home south of the border.
Speaker 18: But you know, I think I'd be welcome with open
Speaker 18: arms in the US by a like minded.
Speaker 19: People are sweet, dude, Oh you are sweet, Mark, But
Speaker 19: lose the beret in the Red States.
Speaker 5: I think it's a little French and frankly a little faggy.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Our insatiable thirst for oil it's forced us to do
Speaker 2: business with some of the world's most dangerous regimes. It
Speaker 2: turns out the most dangerous.
Speaker 1: Maybe closer than we think. Whyit, Senac has more.
Speaker 8: We've been told time and time again we must get
Speaker 8: off for an oil.
Speaker 2: America's dependence on oil is one of the most serious
Speaker 2: threats that our nation has faced.
Speaker 16: Mister Pennish, leaves us more vulnerable to hostile regimes and
Speaker 16: to terrorists.
Speaker 8: But if we're going to get serious, we must examine
Speaker 8: the players, particularly the biggest, most dangerous player of all.
Speaker 20: Right now, our leading supplier of imported oil is Canada.
Speaker 8: That's right, it's Canada.
Speaker 20: It gives us about two million barrels of oil a day,
Speaker 20: which is about twice as much as we're currently getting
Speaker 20: from Saudi Arabia.
Speaker 8: Canada, I knew it for too long. We've cozied up
Speaker 8: to their dictators, opened our borders to their most heinous operatives,
Speaker 8: and ignored their institutional brutality again and again. And oh
Speaker 8: that's got to hurt. Yes, bit by bit, Canada is
Speaker 8: killing us. I flew to the oil fields of Alberta
Speaker 8: to confront our Canadian oilver lords. Would you prefer that
Speaker 8: I call you shaikh or or lord or your lordship.
Speaker 13: I'm senior Vice president, but I mean you can just
Speaker 13: call me Drew.
Speaker 8: Would you agree that Canada is a blood and oil
Speaker 8: soaked rapetocracy.
Speaker 13: Oh no, Canada is a very welcoming, warm country. There's
Speaker 13: no reason we can't continue to be great neighbors.
Speaker 8: Such arrogance and worse, it's American companies that are keeping
Speaker 8: these oil barons in business. Someone had to send them
Speaker 8: a message. First question, Wow, these are a mess right,
Speaker 8: evil Canada.
Speaker 2: We've been doing business with Canada for many years. We
Speaker 2: may have small differences, but we're really cut from the
Speaker 2: same cloth.
Speaker 8: So you're okay with Canada. Canada's fine. Well, what would
Speaker 8: you do if your daughter had her health care paid
Speaker 8: for by the government? As a father? How could you
Speaker 8: live with yourself?
Speaker 15: I could live with that, and you call yourself an American?
Speaker 15: You disgusted me, sir. Also, do you have some Kleenex
Speaker 15: because I am starting to congeal a little bit here. Sure,
Speaker 15: the propaganda sounds great until you talk to those who've
Speaker 15: managed to escape the evil Maple regime.
Speaker 8: So you're Canadian.
Speaker 1: Refugees, h Yeah, we're from Trona. Ye're born to Renstrom.
Speaker 8: What was it like living in that repressive regime?
Speaker 1: What's the what's the show all the boat?
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's it's The Daily Show with John Stewart.
Speaker 1: Oh that's that shore. They make you look silly? Can
Speaker 1: you look stupid? Yeah, we're just a bunch of Canadian hors.
Speaker 11: Go home.
Speaker 5: Yankee.
Speaker 8: I felt that same anger on the Canadian street where
Speaker 8: America has become the scapegoat for all of Canada's problems.
Speaker 8: Why are you angry at America? A lot of reasons.
Speaker 8: Number one, Vancouver cannucts.
Speaker 1: We want the Nardique back. He took the Winnipeg Jets.
Speaker 1: That was a little bit too much golf scull. You
Speaker 1: a hockey fan, No.
Speaker 8: I'm American. Just as terrorists are taught around the world,
Speaker 8: here a new generation of Kanuco fascists are being trained
Speaker 8: to hate. Clearly, it's just a matter of time before
Speaker 8: they strike.
Speaker 20: I think they are more afraid of us than we
Speaker 20: are of them, to be honest.
Speaker 8: So what you're saying we should invade Canada before Canada
Speaker 8: invades US, I got. I think that's all I need
Speaker 8: right there. Yes, as Americans, we simply have no other choice.
Speaker 1: Americans have a choice, a personal choice.
Speaker 13: Every individual has a choice to use fossil fuels or
Speaker 13: not done.
Speaker 8: All right, easy, We'll stop using your oil.
Speaker 1: Let me give you an example of what that might mean.
Speaker 13: Though obvious transportation means would have to change your cell phone,
Speaker 13: video games, MP three players, your iPad. All these things
Speaker 13: are made from a petrochemical or petroleum based products.
Speaker 8: What about anyone porn that would be gone. I was
Speaker 8: beginning to see petro politics in a whole new light.
Speaker 8: Maybe Canada wasn't so bad after all.
Speaker 11: Oh Canada, Canada, Canada, now now, now, now, now, I.
Speaker 2: Do want to congratulate Canada. First office a thrilling overtime victory.
Speaker 2: They claimed the gold in men's ice hockey. The women's
Speaker 2: team Canadian team also won gold. They truly are good
Speaker 2: at hockey. So to Canada, I offer you my congratulations
Speaker 2: and say you are the kings and the queens of
Speaker 2: the ice. The one caveat I would like to mention
Speaker 2: is that spring is coming.
Speaker 1: And with it the fall, and then you're back on
Speaker 1: tarra firma.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And when the ice is gone, good luck at beating
Speaker 2: us at roller hockey or whatever it is you play them.
Speaker 2: I actually made a bet, this was one of those
Speaker 2: dumb bets, with the Mayor of Vancouver, that if the
Speaker 2: US won the gold medal ice hockey, he would send
Speaker 2: me a case of maple syrup, and if Canada won,
Speaker 2: I would give him one hundred million dollars. Jokes on, you, bitch,
Speaker 2: they're American dollars.
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