1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,200
Speaker 1: Dearest John, it's been a fortnight since I felt your

2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:03,920
Speaker 1: warm embrace.

3
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,960
Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

4
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:07,840
Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

5
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,560
Speaker 3: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

6
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,880
Speaker 3: story that I think you'll love.

7
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,600
Speaker 1: Sincerely Sam. But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak

8
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 1: must happen. I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

9
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,600
Speaker 4: I cut off my ex without letting him explain because

10
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,000
Speaker 4: the situation is weird.

11
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,440
Speaker 1: I don't need to hear your story.

12
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,680
Speaker 4: Okay, you're good. I, twenty female, broke up with my

13
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 4: ex boyfriend Hiram.

14
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,839
Speaker 1: He is twenty two mail and I broke over with

15
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:34,680
Speaker 1: him two days ago.

16
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,080
Speaker 4: We met on a dating app a few months back

17
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,720
Speaker 4: and officially dated for less than a month. During this time,

18
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 4: I met his sister, Daphne twenty one female, and i'd

19
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,960
Speaker 4: also meet Hiram in person. When I met him in person,

20
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,000
Speaker 4: things went well and he made a good impression on

21
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,800
Speaker 4: my friends. By the way, this comes from Levy Athena

22
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 4: seven seven seventy five two and if you want to

23
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,920
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

24
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:56,920
Speaker 4: story Time Separate it.

25
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,640
Speaker 1: So what's the problem.

26
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,840
Speaker 4: The problem was that something didn't feel right about his

27
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,120
Speaker 4: relationship with Daphne, not that anything was inappropriate between them,

28
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 4: just that things didn't make sense.

29
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,199
Speaker 1: And fell off.

30
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,920
Speaker 4: I won't give too many examples for privacy reasons, but

31
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,040
Speaker 4: I will say that the two main events that rang

32
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 4: alarm bells in my head were the time that Hiram

33
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,280
Speaker 4: insisted that I told him something that i'd actually told

34
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:18,280
Speaker 4: Daphne instead.

35
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,080
Speaker 1: The other one was when he showed me his family tree.

36
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 4: That he'd spent a long time working on, and Daphne

37
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,160
Speaker 4: wasn't on there, but his brother was. When I asked

38
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,280
Speaker 4: about it, he said that he didn't add her, But

39
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 4: upon deepening it further, it doesn't make sense because we're

40
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,840
Speaker 4: from a community where family history is hella important, and

41
00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,640
Speaker 4: it's hard to believe that he'd trace his family back

42
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,479
Speaker 4: by centuries upon centuries but not at his own living sister.

43
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,200
Speaker 1: The more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

44
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,760
Speaker 4: Things basically came to head when I asked about family

45
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,880
Speaker 4: pictures and he said that he.

46
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,800
Speaker 1: Had none, and neither did his parents.

47
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 4: You liar, he yeah, No one has vissures, right, no

48
00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 4: one's ever tato were vampire's right. Usually I wouldn't question

49
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 4: people's faily traditions or dynamics. But it felt dodgy that

50
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 4: she wasn't in his family tree, and now he couldn't

51
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,880
Speaker 4: even show younger photos. He's previously explained that she wasn't

52
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,200
Speaker 4: close to the family, which I understand because my sister

53
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,960
Speaker 4: is estranged from the family too. But I still show

54
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,960
Speaker 4: pictures of us as kids and talk about her a

55
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,280
Speaker 4: lot despite being no contact. For me, that comes with

56
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,680
Speaker 4: getting to know me, getting to know my family through

57
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,160
Speaker 4: me too. Maybe that's just me, and that's okay. Regardless,

58
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 4: the family photo thing was the final straw for me,

59
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,440
Speaker 4: and I couldn't see you way forward because I felt uneasy.

60
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,480
Speaker 4: The day after that conversation, I dumped him over the phone.

61
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,359
Speaker 4: I didn't want to flat out accuse him of lying,

62
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,160
Speaker 4: especially without any definitive proof, so I explained that I

63
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 4: didn't feel like I could trust him, and it was

64
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,119
Speaker 4: partly due to how he'd react to when I.

65
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:42,960
Speaker 1: Would talk about his sister.

66
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,440
Speaker 4: I also reflected a bit, and I said that I've

67
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,000
Speaker 4: got some inner work to do and he deserved better

68
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,720
Speaker 4: than me. The conversation lasted five minutes and was hecka awkward.

69
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,000
Speaker 1: He was understandably upset.

70
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,480
Speaker 4: Also, immediately after, Daphne messaged me saying that she heard

71
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,280
Speaker 4: what happened and kind of went off on me. Oh oh,

72
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,000
Speaker 4: I thought you weren't that close to the family though. Oh,

73
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 4: but she weren't really there.

74
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,600
Speaker 1: How'd you know so fast?

75
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:06,120
Speaker 5: Hmmm.

76
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,600
Speaker 4: She accused me of not trusting her, which isn't exactly true.

77
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,960
Speaker 4: I was more suspicious of her brother. She kind of

78
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,119
Speaker 4: tried to claim that I clearly had hard feelings towards them.

79
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:15,760
Speaker 1: I didn't.

80
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,720
Speaker 4: Following the phone call, I kept getting a lot of

81
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,120
Speaker 4: messages from Hiram and Daphne, mainly ranging from shifting the

82
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 4: blame on me, I'll take it, to giving me instructions

83
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 4: to even making it out.

84
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,160
Speaker 1: Like I was lying about how I felt.

85
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,920
Speaker 4: I had to take them both off my do not

86
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,440
Speaker 4: disturb exception list so that I wouldn't reply immediately. Both

87
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,000
Speaker 4: Hiram and Daphne messaged me saying that he hadn't moved

88
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,520
Speaker 4: for hours after the call. Obviously, this with the messages

89
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,160
Speaker 4: from Hiram made me worried that he seriously wasn't taking

90
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 4: it well, so I found his coworker on Instagram and

91
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,080
Speaker 4: messaged them to check in on him to make sure

92
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,000
Speaker 4: he's okay since I he did space. The next day,

93
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,560
Speaker 4: I woke up to him messaging me asking to not

94
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,720
Speaker 4: message his friends, and I'll admit I.

95
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:55,640
Speaker 1: Was a little pissed off.

96
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,720
Speaker 4: I asked him what I should do instead and if

97
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,640
Speaker 4: I had misstepped. I also told him that he'd made

98
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,720
Speaker 4: me feel like a monster when I was just worried.

99
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,960
Speaker 4: This was then followed by an apology and just more

100
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 4: awkward messages.

101
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,400
Speaker 1: Here's where I risk being the a whole and one

102
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 1: of the last few messages, he'd asked if he could

103
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,760
Speaker 1: call me again so that he could explain his side.

104
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,480
Speaker 4: Usually I would hear people out, but after his behavior,

105
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,919
Speaker 4: I don't know if I just want to end it

106
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,800
Speaker 4: here for good or let him explain himself. My friends

107
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,720
Speaker 4: agreed that the whole situation about Daphne was just extremely

108
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,120
Speaker 4: off and we're worried that she may not be who

109
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 4: they say she is. I'm scared that if I let

110
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,479
Speaker 4: him explain myself, there will be expectation for me to

111
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,080
Speaker 4: take him back, and after seeing his reaction to this

112
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,520
Speaker 4: whole thing, I don't think I can get.

113
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,760
Speaker 1: Involved with him again. But also, if I don't hear

114
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,719
Speaker 1: him out. I fear it may be unfair of me.

115
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,839
Speaker 4: So if you've read this far, first of all, thank you,

116
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,039
Speaker 4: and second of all, don't hesitate to leave your opinion.

117
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,160
Speaker 4: I actually really need it. So would I be the

118
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,840
Speaker 4: ahle if I don't hear him out? And there's a

119
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,200
Speaker 4: quick edit. When I say I met Daphne, I meant

120
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,640
Speaker 4: that I'd met her online on Instagram after removed our

121
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,640
Speaker 4: conversation off the dating app, not in person. And there

122
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,560
Speaker 4: is an update. But do you think op would be

123
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,080
Speaker 4: the a hole? Okay, just to recap, of course.

124
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:10,599
Speaker 6: So so far, Opie knows that Hiram has told her

125
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,360
Speaker 6: that Daphne is his sister, refuses to show any proof

126
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 6: of this, refuses to let them really meet. Besides, like

127
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,799
Speaker 6: her harassing op on Instagram. And now instead of trying

128
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,119
Speaker 6: to like be like, yeah, this is my sister, here's

129
00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,320
Speaker 6: you know. I would love to have you guys come together,

130
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,000
Speaker 6: blah blah blah, they're attacking Opie, which doesn't even make

131
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,719
Speaker 6: sense in what he said because he said they weren't close,

132
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,359
Speaker 6: but now they're close enough to attack his girlfriend.

133
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,799
Speaker 1: I think that you could say.

134
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,000
Speaker 6: Hey, if you want to, like, you know, meet and

135
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,880
Speaker 6: talk like adults and explain with this this relationship with

136
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,800
Speaker 6: Daphnie or whatever. Sure, but right now I really don't

137
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,640
Speaker 6: appreciate you attacking me, making me feel crazy.

138
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:58,520
Speaker 4: So yep, no exactly, it's just yeah, because I mean,

139
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,200
Speaker 4: it doesn't seem like you has been dating for that long.

140
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,960
Speaker 1: I think if you wanted to break up, you can

141
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,599
Speaker 1: break up. You don't need to explain that. I don't

142
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,080
Speaker 1: think it's going to be unfair.

143
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,479
Speaker 7: I mean, well, I mean.

144
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,440
Speaker 4: Maybe I guess it would be unfair if you don't

145
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,000
Speaker 4: hear him out. I don't really totally see why. But

146
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,520
Speaker 4: even if it was, I don't care.

147
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:16,320
Speaker 7: Who cares.

148
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,760
Speaker 4: I don't care. Just just yeah, move on. She don't

149
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,640
Speaker 4: get harassing you. Yeah, they're they're getting his sister to

150
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,280
Speaker 4: harass you.

151
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,120
Speaker 7: Quote sister.

152
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 4: This is such like high school drama, just like all

153
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,040
Speaker 4: of this texting of like me, and then it's just

154
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,240
Speaker 4: just just walk away. You don't want to date him anymore,

155
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,720
Speaker 4: so't you? You don't owe him literally anything? Nope, I

156
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,880
Speaker 4: don't care. So there is an update though. So a

157
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,839
Speaker 4: lot of people were telling me to just block, while

158
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,320
Speaker 4: some people were curious but told me to proceed with caution.

159
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,360
Speaker 4: I decided to message high Rum and ask him to

160
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,240
Speaker 4: tell me what he expected if we were to call,

161
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,040
Speaker 4: so that he could explain himself. I did this so

162
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 4: that I could decide from his response whether or not

163
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,200
Speaker 4: the call would be a good idea.

164
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,560
Speaker 1: That's that's a good way to go about it. Yeah, Surprisingly,

165
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 1: he changed his mind and said that he wasn't going

166
00:06:59,440 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 1: to call me.

167
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,719
Speaker 4: I'll admit I got a little bit annoyed and asked

168
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,520
Speaker 4: him what changed his response.

169
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:04,479
Speaker 1: I don't know.

170
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,760
Speaker 4: Sorry, I got a little bit annoyed again. He then

171
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 4: gave me the same recycled message of I'll leave you alone.

172
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,040
Speaker 4: I hope you find someone amazing. You're amazing, which I

173
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,800
Speaker 4: wouldn't have minded, only he sent me that message multiple

174
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,800
Speaker 4: times instead of actually leaving me beat. I promised him

175
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 4: that I wouldn't settle for less, and then I started

176
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 4: typing my message. I won't pacete what I said word

177
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 4: for word, but I'll try to sum it up essentially.

178
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,960
Speaker 4: I told him that I had thought about it for

179
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,160
Speaker 4: a day in a bit and decided that we should

180
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 4: go no contact.

181
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,239
Speaker 1: I explained that while he may not have meant.

182
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 4: To, his messages came across as manipulative and guilt tripping.

183
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,360
Speaker 4: For example, him saying that he hadn't moved for hours

184
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,440
Speaker 4: after I dumped him, and yeah, that's that's such a lie.

185
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 1: That's just I haven't moved for hours.

186
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,560
Speaker 6: I've been in the fetal position since she broke up

187
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,280
Speaker 6: my one month talking Phace just broke up with me.

188
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 4: I haven't moved.

189
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,760
Speaker 1: Look how much you ruin me. It's just like do I.

190
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: I've been stuck in the same position.

191
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,840
Speaker 7: I couldn't even text you.

192
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,160
Speaker 1: I just stupid. It was just.

193
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 4: Devastated and we're just no way to talk to someone

194
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,040
Speaker 4: who broke up with you. I told him it felt

195
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 4: like he shut me out, even though I was willing

196
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,320
Speaker 4: to give him a chance to explain.

197
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:12,960
Speaker 1: Don't worry.

198
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000
Speaker 4: I wasn't planning on taking him back, and I told

199
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 4: him as much, because after seeing how he and Daphney

200
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,280
Speaker 4: reacted to the breakup, I couldn't marry into such a

201
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,400
Speaker 4: family if that's what we were dating for. I then

202
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,400
Speaker 4: advised him to seek support and open up more, as

203
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 4: well as wishing him well. I probably should have blocked

204
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,520
Speaker 4: him right after that message, but I didn't want to

205
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,160
Speaker 4: risk having a longer conversation by a hopping platform, so

206
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,920
Speaker 4: I let him reply. Hiram basically argued against my points

207
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,440
Speaker 4: and apologized for coming across the wrong way. He also

208
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,960
Speaker 4: brought up the thing about me messaging his coworker, which

209
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,160
Speaker 4: two people brought up in the first post, and said

210
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,280
Speaker 4: that it was a breach of privacy and he didn't.

211
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,200
Speaker 1: Want her to worry about him.

212
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,800
Speaker 4: Maybe I'm the ahole here for messaging her, but I

213
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,880
Speaker 4: told him that the only reason I did that was

214
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,360
Speaker 4: because he literally told me that he couldn't move because

215
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,800
Speaker 4: of me, and that I couldn't message his quote sister

216
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 4: because she was basically attacking me, and she also told

217
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,440
Speaker 4: me the same thing. He also told me that he

218
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,719
Speaker 4: wouldn't message my friends in this case, and I told

219
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,280
Speaker 4: him I would have appreciated it if he did, because

220
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,720
Speaker 4: it would have shown me that he cared. But to

221
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,480
Speaker 4: each their own and that's okay. He then apologized for

222
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,520
Speaker 4: Daphne's actions and claimed that he was going to have

223
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,079
Speaker 4: a word with her, which I don't know how to

224
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,559
Speaker 4: feel about, because why are you both mad at me?

225
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,280
Speaker 1: Heyo? Why aren't you going to look at him? Had

226
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:21,800
Speaker 1: on over there?

227
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:22,280
Speaker 6: Why not?

228
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,280
Speaker 1: Why did she do that? Why not?

229
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,960
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more to the story.

230
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,200
Speaker 4: But yeah, girl, just blog him and it is not

231
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,079
Speaker 4: worth it.

232
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,520
Speaker 6: One month, I'd be like, oh, this is exhausting. I

233
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,720
Speaker 6: did not want a relationship with this person long term.

234
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,800
Speaker 6: Oh bye. Yeah, I don't know why you boys are

235
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,680
Speaker 6: mad at me. I'm just gonna let you guys go

236
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,720
Speaker 6: crazy on your own. Sorry, if you can't move, talk

237
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,800
Speaker 6: to your freaking sister.

238
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,559
Speaker 7: I guess I talk to you.

239
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, sorry, I'm talk to a therapist if you are.

240
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,920
Speaker 6: So, if you're debilitated by you know what relationship ending, Yeah,

241
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 6: like that's a huge problem. Oh gosh, such high schoo

242
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:00,559
Speaker 6: old type.

243
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 1: And it's annoying me. It's annoying. It's annoying me.

244
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:05,720
Speaker 7: I'm up.

245
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:10,439
Speaker 1: So I don't like it. But there is a little

246
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: bit more into the story.

247
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,520
Speaker 4: So then Hiram told me that the reason he changed

248
00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 4: his mind about calling me was because he panicked and

249
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:17,760
Speaker 4: it was too awkward for him.

250
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,640
Speaker 1: Try I understand.

251
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,360
Speaker 4: I told him that he could have communicated that earlier

252
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,800
Speaker 4: and maybe he should work on that.

253
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,240
Speaker 1: I've struggled with the same thing. I know it's not easy.

254
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,920
Speaker 4: I told him that I wasn't happy things ended this way,

255
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,240
Speaker 4: but I messaged because it needed to be done. I

256
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,560
Speaker 4: thanked him for everything, wished him well, and then blocked

257
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,880
Speaker 4: him on one platform.

258
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,000
Speaker 7: All platforms go all platforms.

259
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:37,439
Speaker 6: Are you.

260
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,440
Speaker 1: You silly goose? What's going on?

261
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 4: He then messaged me on two other platforms wants to

262
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 4: tell me that he wanted to be friends, but new

263
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 4: friendship was a two way relationship.

264
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,640
Speaker 1: YadA, YadA, YadA, and then the.

265
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,040
Speaker 4: Final message was to thank me before I blocked him

266
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,120
Speaker 4: on that platform too.

267
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,040
Speaker 1: I've blocked him.

268
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,920
Speaker 4: Everywhere into the same for Daphne Lesson learned trust your gut.

269
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, good job.

270
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,760
Speaker 7: He got there. Eventually got there.

271
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 1: That's all right, you got there eventually.

272
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 7: It's okay.

273
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 4: Maybe dragged on for a little longer than it needed to,

274
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:14,320
Speaker 4: but it happens, is okay, it happened. I refuse to

275
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,800
Speaker 4: be with my boyfriend after I got hospitalized because of

276
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:18,599
Speaker 4: his laziness.

277
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, get away from him with I.

278
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:25,400
Speaker 6: I twenty three female, recently got diagnosed with MDRTV. It's

279
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:30,320
Speaker 6: a substance resistance form of tuberculosis. After having kind of

280
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 6: dismissed symptoms for a long time, I did not think

281
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,480
Speaker 6: I had anything serious going on until it got progressively worse.

282
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,680
Speaker 6: I collapsed during a trip abroad, and the hospital stay

283
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,600
Speaker 6: was horrific. I was in and out of consciousness after

284
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 6: a while, dealing with organ failure, nerve pain, and constant nausea.

285
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,760
Speaker 6: I had to stay in the hospital for more than

286
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 6: a month. I'm still recovering. It's going to take at

287
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,640
Speaker 6: least a year to feel somewhat normal. By the way,

288
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,280
Speaker 6: this comes from Commission Alarmed two nine three and if

289
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,599
Speaker 6: you want to spend your own stories, go to the

290
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,720
Speaker 6: r slash Okay Storytime severed it. This issue is my

291
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,440
Speaker 6: boyfriend twenty seven mal Jake. We have been together for

292
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,400
Speaker 6: about five years now. He was supportive while I was

293
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,679
Speaker 6: in the hospital, messaging me daily and even visiting me.

294
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,360
Speaker 7: While he could.

295
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,520
Speaker 6: But now that I'm out, he keeps bringing up how

296
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,920
Speaker 6: this whole thing made him realize life is short and

297
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 6: we should move in together.

298
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,200
Speaker 1: Not that short. Take a minute, yeah, you've got time.

299
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,720
Speaker 6: He's been pushing this idea since week one of my discharge.

300
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,400
Speaker 6: I'm barely functional right now. I still have to take

301
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:33,160
Speaker 6: medications daily, which comes with horrible side effects. My energy

302
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,280
Speaker 6: is so low I can't even walk for long periods,

303
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 6: and I've had to move in with my mom because

304
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,800
Speaker 6: I can't manage on my own yet. Jake says he'll

305
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,680
Speaker 6: take care of everything if I move in with him,

306
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,600
Speaker 6: but honestly, I don't trust it. He's kind, but he's

307
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 6: also notoriously lazy. He can barely keep his apartment clean.

308
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,560
Speaker 6: I can't imagine adding my needs into that mess. I've

309
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:53,719
Speaker 6: told him he needed to.

310
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 1: Deep clean the place, deep clutter, and keep it that way.

311
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,920
Speaker 6: On top of that, he smokes occasionally a lot, usually

312
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 6: just when he's stressed out or with friends, but I

313
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,320
Speaker 6: told him that he has to quit entirely. Besides, his

314
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,920
Speaker 6: friends drop by constantly, often without warning. I can't deal

315
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,960
Speaker 6: with loud gatherings or unexpected visits right now, so I

316
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,240
Speaker 6: told them that has to stop too. I feel like

317
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 6: I'd end up taking care of him instead, which I

318
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,079
Speaker 6: physically and emotionally.

319
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,000
Speaker 7: Can't do right now.

320
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,680
Speaker 6: When I told him I'm not ready to move in,

321
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,400
Speaker 6: he got really defensive and accused me of not being

322
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 6: serious about a relationship at all. He said, I'm using

323
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,760
Speaker 6: my illness as an excuse and thinks I'm being over

324
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 6: dramatic about the recovery process because I'm already out of

325
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:34,080
Speaker 6: the hospital.

326
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 2: Okay, so, really, as someone who's kind of a dork

327
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,080
Speaker 2: and understands what tuberculosis and TV actually is and used

328
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,560
Speaker 2: to do. Like we back to your Like, a medication

329
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,960
Speaker 2: to drug resistant tuberculosis is one of the scariest things

330
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 2: you could get, because it's like that would just like always,

331
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,599
Speaker 2: it would always win pretty.

332
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,800
Speaker 1: Much like well, like you would get a dictators No,

333
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,200
Speaker 1: it's like you would your lungest would stop working.

334
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, so he is like head it, battling it out.

335
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,200
Speaker 2: It's areamely serious illness and yeah, you shouldn't be around

336
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,400
Speaker 2: anyone who's probably.

337
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 1: For yeah, like your lungs are already messed up, dude,

338
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,920
Speaker 1: and boundaries. Yeah.

339
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's not like thinking about you and this experience

340
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,920
Speaker 4: at all. It's like, oh, you just got out of

341
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 4: the hospital and you can't you're not fixed already.

342
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,680
Speaker 1: The crazy thing is that he was like your life changing.

343
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,400
Speaker 7: Your near experience made me realize that life is short.

344
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,200
Speaker 6: And then she's like, ah, I would rather my life

345
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,720
Speaker 6: be a little bit longer, and he's.

346
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,600
Speaker 7: Like what the heck?

347
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, wow, if you care so much about uh, like,

348
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,520
Speaker 4: it's either it's either me or your tuberculosis.

349
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:40,320
Speaker 7: Yeah, you got it.

350
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:41,120
Speaker 1: Crazy.

351
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 6: Oh and something I did not mention. He once said, well,

352
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 6: you should be glad it's not yikes. You should be

353
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:51,600
Speaker 6: glad that I didn't deck you. His dad got diagnosed

354
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 6: earlier this year. But it is a dumb comparison, in

355
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,920
Speaker 6: my opinion. I tried to explain how dangerous it is

356
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 6: for me to skip even one dose of my medication

357
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Speaker 6: and now I'm struggling with basic daily tasks, but he

358
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,680
Speaker 6: just got defensive and said something like, I've done have

359
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,800
Speaker 6: right thing for you these past few months, and it

360
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,720
Speaker 6: feels like you don't even appreciate that. I told him

361
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,600
Speaker 6: that just because he visited me in the hospital, which

362
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 6: I actually think is the bare minimum of what a

363
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 6: boyfriend should do, doesn't mean he's ready to be my caretaker.

364
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 6: And then I don't need another burden in my life

365
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,040
Speaker 6: right now. Now that I think about this, maybe that

366
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 6: was a bit harsh of me.

367
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,960
Speaker 7: To say, but he needs to hear it.

368
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, since then, he's been distant.

369
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 6: I know he loves me and wants to help, and

370
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 6: I wonder if I'm being too defensive or if I

371
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,920
Speaker 6: should try harder to meet him halfway. A part of

372
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,800
Speaker 6: me also feels like he's making this all about himself.

373
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,480
Speaker 6: When I'm the one who almost passed away. He's been

374
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,520
Speaker 6: telling friends I'm ungrateful for everything he did while I

375
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 6: was sick, and I'm just trying to find an excuse

376
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 6: not to move in with him. They're split something he's

377
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 6: being pushy, but others think I should give him a

378
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 6: chance to prove he can step up. He has already

379
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 6: wanted to move in with me even before I got sick,

380
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,600
Speaker 6: but then I thought I was too young.

381
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 7: I think maybe that is why he's like this. Am

382
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 7: I the ale for.

383
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,520
Speaker 6: Refusing to move in with him unless he makes a

384
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 6: ton of changes, even though he's been really supportive in

385
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 6: other ways while I first got sick. I'd love some responses.

386
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 1: Edit.

387
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 6: I have talked to him this morning, and we made

388
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 6: the agreement to first try it for a week to

389
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 6: see if he can keep his promises to me. My

390
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,680
Speaker 6: mom is helping me pack some of my stuff so

391
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,040
Speaker 6: I can go there tomorrow morning. I really want to

392
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 6: try and make this work.

393
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 4: I know I sounded negative about him, but I think

394
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,400
Speaker 4: part of my problem is also just that I do

395
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 4: not like feeling like a burden to him. He does

396
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 4: live two hours away from where my mom lives, but

397
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 4: if anything happens, I want to go back to her place.

398
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,320
Speaker 4: He will just come and pick me up. I'll keep

399
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 4: you updated, and there is an update.

400
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: There is an update. I do think this is a

401
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 1: good test, you know, to do.

402
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 6: I don't think that he is going it, like based

403
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 6: off everything that he's said before. I don't think he's

404
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 6: going to you know, rise to the occasion. But I

405
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,760
Speaker 6: think it's a good test for op to be like

406
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 6: I tried everything.

407
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it could be a good test.

408
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 4: It kind of still feels like she doesn't want to

409
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 4: move in though, Like she doesn't. Yeah, so I feel like, like,

410
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,680
Speaker 4: don't let any of you know doing that just because

411
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:07,240
Speaker 4: he wants it.

412
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

413
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 7: There's an update. This did not take long. I messed up.

414
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 6: I just woke up about twenty minutes ago, felt a

415
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,679
Speaker 6: bit unwell, had to throw up. No big deal, this

416
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 6: happens sometimes after one of my medications. I looked around

417
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,360
Speaker 6: and didn't see my boyfriend in the kitchen or living room.

418
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,879
Speaker 6: It's a web bendroom apartment, so not much to search. Okay,

419
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 6: he's probably on the toilet. I've waited for ten minutes

420
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 6: and he does not come out. I call his name.

421
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,199
Speaker 6: He doesn't respond. I go and check and he's not

422
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 6: on the toilet. Okay, maybe just take it out the trash.

423
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,440
Speaker 6: I look the trash can. It's not emptied. I call

424
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 6: him on his phone and he doesn't pick up, but

425
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,679
Speaker 6: I don't hear his ringtone anywhere in the apartment. I

426
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,760
Speaker 6: called him a second time and he says he's back

427
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,919
Speaker 6: in five minutes from where. Apparently he had to deliver

428
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 6: a key to his workplace or else they couldn't open.

429
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 6: My boyfriend was the last one to close last week

430
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 6: and normally the first to open on Monday. He didn't

431
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 6: think about how he's still at the key at home.

432
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 6: The other cowork could not leave the workplace as he

433
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 6: does not have a car and came by bus, so,

434
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 6: according to my boyfriend, yet to go there himself and

435
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 6: give it to him. I had no idea how to

436
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 6: even feel about this. It effing scares me that he

437
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 6: did not tell me he didn't want me to wake up,

438
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 6: and it is less than a ten minutes each way,

439
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 6: but I didn't know he left me alone. If it

440
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 6: wasn't for all the comments I have gotten on my

441
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 6: post here, I would have said I'm overreacting and he

442
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 6: meant well, but I don't like them. Here is a

443
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 6: copy and paste of some stuff I wrote my notes yesterday,

444
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 6: positives not the pros and gone list.

445
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 1: Oh oh, it's so nice.

446
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,439
Speaker 6: To be with him. We have the same sense of humor.

447
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 6: It's just different being with him than being at my parents.

448
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,840
Speaker 6: My mom is pretty stern and serious. I like the

449
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 6: physical aspects, pressing, hugging, things like that.

450
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 7: My mom also does not really hug or tell me

451
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 7: she loves me.

452
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 4: She shows love more in a practical way. He had

453
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 4: an air purifier and humidifier that he bought, which I

454
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,919
Speaker 4: think is really considerate. He got free from work, he

455
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 4: reminded me of my medication and gave them to me

456
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 4: on said times.

457
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 6: The apartment looks cleaner than I have ever seen it.

458
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 6: He makes sure I eat enough and I don't have

459
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 6: to do anything, but he seems more irritated and still

460
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,120
Speaker 6: not completely understanding some things he says are also more

461
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 6: easily rubbing me the wrong way. After reading the comments

462
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 6: people left, like, for example, that I'm sleeping too much

463
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 6: during the day, so that's why I cannot sleep at

464
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 6: night and I should stop doing that. But I am

465
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 6: just exhausted regardless of the time of day, and also

466
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 6: my nerve pain is worse at night. He still smokes

467
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 6: on the balcony and not inside, but still he was

468
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 6: super apologetic when I said that I didn't want that either.

469
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 6: He claimed he didn't know. He wouldn't do it again.

470
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 6: He'll buy nicotine strips tomorrow. I did not even know

471
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,239
Speaker 6: he now actually smokes that much to need something like that.

472
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 6: He didn't about two months ago. I found out why

473
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,679
Speaker 6: he wanted this in the first place, besides wanting to

474
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 6: be with me and moving forward in a relationship, not

475
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 6: spicy sleep or some weird caretaking fantasy, but money. I

476
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 6: could stop the lease on my place, which I probably

477
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 6: will do anyway, I'm not going there anywhere soon and

478
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 6: split his bills like.

479
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 1: That stucks, That sucks.

480
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 7: He's like, yeah, no, I want we have to take

481
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 7: the step in our relationship. And also you have to

482
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,439
Speaker 7: help me pay for this.

483
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why.

484
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 7: That's actually the reason. Right.

485
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my gosh, that's crazy, mind you.

486
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,160
Speaker 6: I don't even earn that much as a sports coach,

487
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 6: and especially not now where I'm not able to.

488
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 7: I think I shouldn't have done this, and I.

489
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 4: Will leave, get out of it out of there, someone

490
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 4: like if you have these issues and like have to

491
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 4: go to the hospital and stuff like that. I mean,

492
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 4: first of all, money, like you need money to go

493
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,400
Speaker 4: towards that. But then second of all too, like you

494
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 4: your partner needs to be able to take care of

495
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 4: you when you need it, because like you need it here.

496
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 6: And you told him, you said, hey, I don't like

497
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 6: want you to have to do all of this.

498
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 7: It's gotta be a lot of work.

499
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, gave him all of you laid everything out, you said,

500
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 6: this is what I need, right, are you up to that?

501
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 4: If you're not totally fine exactly, we don't have to

502
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 4: move that. And it doesn't feel like.

503
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 7: He wants that.

504
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: It's a lot, It's a lot, yeah, but you gotta be.

505
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 4: Realized that he's not up to it exactly, instead of

506
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 4: just diminishing what you need exactly.

507
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 6: Edit formatting in time. It did not take five minutes

508
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,800
Speaker 6: to get back. He got stuck in traffic. It was

509
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 6: about twenty minutes from the time I have called him there.

510
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 6: I already waited twenty minutes, and I have no way

511
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 6: of knowing how long before I woke up that he

512
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,120
Speaker 6: left pals. My mom is mad at me for even

513
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 6: considering going to him. My boyfriend does not see the

514
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 6: problem and is mad.

515
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 7: I called my mom.

516
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, I should have listened to all of you. Edit

517
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 6: to why was I discharged in this condition? I was

518
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 6: discharged a bit earlier than they would have done normally,

519
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 6: just until I was not contagious with TV anymore and

520
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 6: stabilized due to health insurance issues and me being in

521
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 6: a hospital abroad instead of in my home country. There

522
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 6: being someone present with me twenty four to seven, at

523
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 6: least for the first few weeks, was a condition they

524
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 6: set to make the discharge possible. So this isn't just

525
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 6: like he was gone.

526
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 7: It's fine.

527
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 6: Whatever she needed. She probally told them I need someone

528
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,239
Speaker 6: there twenty four seven. If you were not up for that,

529
00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 6: I'll stay.

530
00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,959
Speaker 7: With my mom. That's fine.

531
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Come on, he's not up for

532
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 4: the town.

533
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 7: Just not fot him.

534
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 4: My mother in law said, we ruined Christmas just because

535
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 4: we put the kids first.

536
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: You ruined Christmas.

537
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 7: My way.

538
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 1: This is from the r slash Okay Storytime Suppers. This

539
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 1: is directly submitted to us.

540
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 4: Heck, yeah, let's go so so mackstory I twenty seven

541
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 4: female and married to my best friend twenty eight female.

542
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 4: Let's call her Taylor for three years now, but I

543
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 4: have been together for seven years total. Taylor's mom and dad,

544
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 4: mainly Mom are Bible thumpers. Dad really isn't, even though

545
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 4: he was a pastor, but he did a lot of

546
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 4: sinning in his marriage if you know what I mean,

547
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 4: yanks anyway, that's hypercritical. Yeah, anyway, mother in law isn't

548
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 4: a fan of the relationship because Taylor is going to

549
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 4: be the heck blah blah blah. My family is Catholic

550
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,239
Speaker 4: and called me like a lot of cat and we

551
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 4: laughed a lot when I came.

552
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: Out legoltacat is also better than what they said. Oh totally.

553
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 1: It sounds like just like sounds better anyway.

554
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 4: All this will kind of tie together, I think with

555
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 4: the story, and sorry if it doesn't, I guess. By

556
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Okay Nobody six' three nine

557
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 4: seven and if you want to submit your own, stories

558
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 4: go to the art Slash okay Story, Time, sepreddit so and.

559
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 4: Who taylor has two, siblings a brother we will Call

560
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 4: sean's thirty six, male married To, katie forty eight. Female

561
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 4: they have three kids. Together all in their early, teens

562
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 4: And katie has two kinds.

563
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: From two previous.

564
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 4: Marriages she's also a pill head and thinks that we

565
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 4: are all, oblivious acting like she stopped forever. Ago taylor

566
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 4: also has a, Sister jenna thirty four, female married To

567
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 4: eddie thirty six. Male they have four, kids ranging from

568
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 4: twelve to. ONE i was the first girl my wife

569
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,479
Speaker 4: brought home and introduced as her.

570
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: Girlfriend she felt comfortable BECAUSE i was.

571
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 4: COMFORTABLE i have a take no bs kind of, attitude

572
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 4: just like the rest of my. Family we tend to

573
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 4: hash everything out right when it, happens and if we

574
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 4: get past, it, great but we're quick to cut people. Off,

575
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 4: normally everyone was okay with. Me that's as it can

576
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 4: be meeting someone new in these, situations except for sister

577
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 4: in Law. Katie she was overly nice and basically already

578
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 4: trying to plan our. Future we had only been together

579
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 4: about a month when we decided to meet family and

580
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 4: make it. Official so in my, HEAD i shrugged her

581
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 4: off as a weirdo and is. Whatever my wife told

582
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 4: me to basically ignore or stay away from her because

583
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 4: she's nothing but.

584
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: DRAMA i have a great relationship.

585
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 4: With all of her, children even the ones from previous,

586
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 4: marriages two, girls one twenty five and the other. Twenty

587
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 4: for the twenty year, OLD i did a lot for,

588
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: her did her hair and makeup for every, dance took

589
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 4: her and picture, up gave her advice when she needed,

590
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 4: it taught her how.

591
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: To use a.

592
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 4: Tampon her mom was too scared to use, them and

593
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 4: she came to me when she lost her. VIRGINITY i

594
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 4: mean literally anything and. Everything katie got very. JEALOUS i

595
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 4: even started getting close with My bible thumper mother in,

596
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 4: law and that was. Big katie started making comments to

597
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 4: mother in law about HOW i was the new.

598
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 1: Favorite she started telling her.

599
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 4: Daughter that she could do better than me at hair and,

600
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 4: makeup and she definitely. Cannot she started trying to talk

601
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 4: about my wife's ex a. Lot my brother in law

602
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 4: and sister in law knew THE, x but not mother

603
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 4: or father in. Law the three younger children call me

604
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 4: their second mom because we get them a, lot AND

605
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 4: i really do love them as my. Own we try

606
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 4: to treat them to things that they don't get at

607
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 4: home when we have them on weekends or weeks in the.

608
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 4: SUMMER a few examples ice cream dates home cooked, meals

609
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 4: giving them space and safe conversations so they can get

610
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 4: some emotions. Out they get to put on games in

611
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 4: their rooms and basically eat ramen all. Day and they

612
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 4: told me. This so a few big incidents, happened And

613
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 4: i'm at a. Crossroads SHOULD i cut off my sister

614
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: in Law katie and brother in Law sean and risk

615
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 4: not seeing the kids. ANYMORE i feel Like i'm punishing

616
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 4: them for something that they have nothing to do. With

617
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 4: and this is promoted to oh and she's promoted to

618
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 4: fiance at this point in the.

619
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: Story pass.

620
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 4: Forward so my sister in law started a, rumor BUT

621
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 4: i was cheating on my wife with a girl at.

622
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 4: Work she's my friend AND i feel bad for saying,

623
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: this but, yuck definitely not my.

624
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 1: Tie funny, yikes she. WAS i don't know you had

625
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: to say, yuck not My you just said she's not my.

626
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 4: T i don't have to be, like, oh, yuck, right personally,

627
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 4: thing all my friends are, gorgeous, yeah, exactly doesn't Mean

628
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 4: i'm attracted to.

629
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 7: Them, right don't have to say.

630
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 4: Yuck? Yuck she, was and had just come out to

631
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 4: everyone and was proud of. It, anyway she told my

632
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 4: brother in law that she THOUGHT i was sleeping with

633
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 4: my friend because she just came, Out oh my, god

634
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 4: AND i was her only. Friend that must be why

635
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 4: that has been. Prolong brother in law texted my wife

636
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 4: and basically was calling her every name in the book

637
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 4: because she basically said that she believes me over his

638
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 4: wife and that she didn't know why he cared so

639
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 4: much because him and his wife cheats so, much like

640
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 4: it's a game at this point of who has?

641
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 6: More, Y, wow, dang they're doing this straight version where

642
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 6: you sleep with as many. People, yeah we had to

643
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 6: talk early about, cheating and she knows exactly HOW i

644
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 6: feel about. IT i told her from the rip to

645
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 6: please never cheat AND i would always let her go

646
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 6: and to be honest with. Me that's kind of crazy to,

647
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 6: me like LIKE i understand where you're coming from a

648
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 6: pee of, like, yeah let's have conversations, stuff but just

649
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 6: like the fact that you have to have a conversation

650
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 6: and be like this is HOW i don't feel good about, cheating, RIGHT.

651
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 7: I, KNOW i don't like.

652
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 6: IT i wonder if it came up of like well

653
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 6: they had Previous, yeah, no, NO i think it's it

654
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 6: makes sense BYOP i just thought that was.

655
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 7: Funny it's, funny like it makes. Sense wyope's right to

656
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 7: have a.

657
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 1: Conversation please don't cheat on. You just just to be,

658
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: CLEAR i wouldn't like.

659
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 7: IT i would be upset by.

660
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 4: That i'd rather you tell me you don't want me

661
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 4: anymore than to betray me like. That we cut them

662
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 4: off for three months and my mother in, law father in,

663
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 4: law sister in, law and brother in law all got THE.

664
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: Vid they live in my.

665
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 4: Mother in law's basement and share a room with, them

666
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 4: and they're three. Kids we got asked by mother in

667
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 4: law while she's the hospital on behalf of sister in Law,

668
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 4: katie if we would take the kids because they weren't

669
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 4: being taken care of because they just didn't have the

670
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 4: energy with being.

671
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: Sick, anyways we said.

672
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 4: Yes we had them for two or three, weeks and

673
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 4: we both had to quarantine for two weeks from work

674
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 4: from being. Exposed we didn't. Mind we loved the kids

675
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 4: and they were my first. Priority after they got, better

676
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 4: sister in law thanked us and acted like it had

677
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 4: all blown. OVER i told her for a conversation and

678
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 4: told her That i'll let it go this, time but

679
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 4: to cut the. Crap, basically she was, smiley happy and

680
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 4: fake her normal.

681
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: Bs but whatever uh and now now hope he is

682
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: promoted to wife at some point.

683
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 4: Here. Nice she told my mother in law THAT i

684
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 4: was the devil and THAT i was ruining the.

685
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: Family. Wow she told my.

686
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 4: Wife i've found out a year later that she picked

687
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: the wrong, brother meaning my, wife because she dresses better

688
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 4: and her cologne smells, good and overall she takes care

689
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 4: of her. Appearance she gets her fades every two, weeks gets,

690
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:58,719
Speaker 4: waxed just.

691
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,479
Speaker 1: Overall she definitely gives Off.

692
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 4: Daddy she told her kids THAT i don't love them.

693
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 1: Anymore what her oldest has completely cut her.

694
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 4: Off and we have a great relationship with her daughter

695
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 4: and grandkids because we had her grandkids for a week

696
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 4: to give her daughter and her fiance a well deserved.

697
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 4: Break she's done a lot of, crap naming a. Few

698
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 4: i've had a few choice words with mother in law.

699
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 4: Too her and my sister in Law kati love to

700
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 4: hate each other in. Gossip mother in law calls my

701
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 4: wife to which about her siblings and their dad her,

702
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 4: husband and does the same with brother in law's wife

703
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 4: and my wife's other Sister, jenna mother in, law likes

704
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 4: to say hurtful things when she doesn't get her. Way

705
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 4: this past, year my wife got a promotion and had

706
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 4: to be at work until three the night, before so

707
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 4: we couldn't show up To, christmas but could plan a

708
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 4: day to bring them their gifts from us along with

709
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 4: the other. Adults she was okay until she found out

710
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 4: that we planned a weekend at the beginning Of december

711
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 4: to get all seven of our young nieces and nephews

712
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 4: for a night to watch them open The christmas presents

713
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 4: that we got them and spend a little time with the.

714
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 4: Kiddos she told my wife and said that we were

715
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 4: taking her moment away from watching them open the gifts

716
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 4: from us and ruining Her.

717
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: Christmas how does that even mean that you're you're what

718
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: do you mean you Had? Christmas you ruined?

719
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 4: It you're just watching them open gifts are such a normal.

720
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: Thing what do you mean you're taking your moment? Away

721
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: it's giving you the.

722
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 4: Moment that's, Insane my wife told, me AND i put

723
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 4: her mom and dad in a group chat and basically

724
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 4: told her that she made her daughter cry AND i.

725
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: Hope that she was proud of.

726
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 4: Herself we still went the, weekend we planned to give

727
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 4: them their gifts after all of, this AND i was still.

728
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: Fuman so as soon as we.

729
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 4: Walked, IN i basically just told her she won't ever

730
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 4: speak to my wife like that, again because next TIME

731
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 4: i won't be as.

732
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 7: Nice don't be.

733
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 4: Nice, yeah and long story short on me flipping out

734
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 4: because her other two kids suck and my wife is

735
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 4: the only one who shows up.

736
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: Then they need something or just want to vent as AM.

737
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 4: I she tried to, argue and then my tone got

738
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 4: meaner and she just ended with an, okay, yeah she

739
00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 4: won't do it. Again, yeah, okay put her in her.

740
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 4: Plate her husband knows better than to mess with. Me

741
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 4: i've told him what's up, too and it didn't even

742
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 4: try to defend his.

743
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: Wife it's a little bit more to the. Story but

744
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: do you have any final thoughts on?

745
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 4: This?

746
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, YEAH i just think it's, like if they're gonna

747
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 6: keep making, problems set your, boundaries tell them straight and be, Like,

748
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 6: Okay i'm just stop blaming me for your kids getting.

749
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: Upset, yeah stop.

750
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 7: It stop telling your kids that. Lies.

751
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 4: Right it's Like i'm not even doing anything wrongs that

752
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 4: you're obsessed with, me right, stop that's so. Crazy like

753
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 4: she's making up the stories about, cheating, yeah and then

754
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 4: like just not using, it like not even just using,

755
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 4: them but like asking them for help for the kids and,

756
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 4: stuff which is so nice of them to do to

757
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 4: help and, like and then she's just spewing all these

758
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 4: lies and and just crap it on.

759
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 7: Them.

760
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: Man SO i don't, KNOW i really want to say.

761
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 4: Fmol and my wife has grown a backbone and started

762
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 4: standing up for, herself so she's getting there. Too but

763
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 4: the kids art breaks thinking about never seeing them until

764
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 4: they turn. Eighteen she tried to mind f them so hard,

765
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 4: now and the youngest is her little.

766
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: Spy and not a good.

767
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 4: ONE i won't, dang she told me Her she told

768
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 4: me her mom asked her to listen IF i talk

769
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 4: bad about, her AND i never do to her. KIDS

770
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 4: i think kids need out of grown folk. Business but

771
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 4: she uses her kid as on and involves. Them BUT

772
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 4: i know IF i got them all, off we wouldn't

773
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 4: get the. Kids and they still have four to eight

774
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 4: more years until they turn eighteen between the three of,

775
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 4: them and that's a long time with a self absorbed

776
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 4: person telling you lies about someone you won't see anymore

777
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 4: as a. Kid, yeah because even if they did turn,

778
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 4: eighteen like they probably wouldn't want to Be yeah yeah

779
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 4: if they've been you, know poisoned or you've been. Poisoned, yeah, yeah.

780
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 4: Dang any questions are. Welcomed sorry if you're. Confused my

781
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 4: wife calls me a betty bad. Butt but something about

782
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 4: these three kids pulls at my. HEARTSTRINGS i had a crappy,

783
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 4: childhood SO i think it's an extra big soft spot

784
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 4: for the. Situation advice needed and all comments are, appreciated thank.

785
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 6: YOU i, MEAN i don't think you have to cut

786
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 6: her off if you really want to be these kids in,

787
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 6: LIFE i don't think you have to necessarily cut her off.

788
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 7: Completely.

789
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: YEAH i think it's just setting.

790
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 6: Boundaries and every time you hear she says something, wild you're, like,

791
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 6: yeah not, Sure i'm fly stop?

792
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: Lying yeah what was your?

793
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 5: Mean?

794
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: Boys? Right AND i wonder if like a conversation can

795
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 1: be held of just like why why are you doing?

796
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: This like DID i actually do LIKE i? Thought i've

797
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: like treated you? WELL i THOUGHT i like you done

798
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: a good job of being there for. You and what's going?

799
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 7: On? Yeah like?

800
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: Why, yeah what what's going, on she's.

801
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 4: Just jealous and, dasty, yeah feeling and scared about how

802
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 4: she takes care of her, kids that the love of

803
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 4: her kids are possibly going off to.

804
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: Another but just, like enjoy that you have someone that

805
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: will take care of the.

806
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 7: Kids and that your kids like, like come on, literally come, On.

807
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: Hey It's. Sam we're gonna get back to these. Stories

808
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: but here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

809
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: keep the show.

810
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 5: ALIVE i just got engaged to my, fiance but my

811
00:33:59,000 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 5: family is not.

812
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: Happy boo that entire, Family boo.

813
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 5: THEM i just got engaged last week To frank and

814
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 5: we have been super excited and.

815
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: Happy some. Backstory we both live In.

816
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 5: Canada frank's entire family both sides are here as, well

817
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 5: but aside from my, mother my dad passed away a

818
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 5: couple years. Ago all of my relatives still live in

819
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 5: the country my family immigrated. From by the, way this

820
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 5: comes from engage excitement and if you want to spit

821
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 5: your own, stories go to the r slash okay storytime.

822
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 5: Subreddit i've met all his relatives and am quite close with.

823
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 5: Them they are all super. NICE a smattering of relatives

824
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 5: from both sides of my family have Met frank when

825
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 5: they've come to visit and when they were here for

826
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 5: my father's. Funeral there is a bit of a language

827
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 5: barrier with them For, frank but he's always been polite and. Kind,

828
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 5: luckily With easter, weekend we were able to tell most

829
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 5: of our families who live In canada in person before posting.

830
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 5: Online we got a really warm reaction from his parents

831
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 5: as well as both sides of his. Family it was

832
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 5: all really. Lovely before posting on social, MEDIA i messaged

833
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 5: my overseas relatives through group chats with the news and

834
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 5: a picture of us smiling together was with some champagne

835
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 5: and the.

836
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: Ring from my paternal, relatives.

837
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 5: There was a, big happy slew of congratulations and well,

838
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 5: wishes and WHEN i later posted On, facebook a few

839
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 5: of them commented again with happy.

840
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: Wishes before my dad.

841
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 5: Passed, away he spent a lot of time in the

842
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,879
Speaker 5: hospital and he had made a point of saying That

843
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 5: frank should be allowed to come visit him as one

844
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 5: of our, own even when my dad didn't really want visitors.

845
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 5: Anymore frank hates, hospitals but he spent a lot of

846
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 5: time visiting my. Dad seeing that my paternal relatives were

847
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 5: accepting A frank was a really nice reminder of how

848
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 5: loving my dad was and how EXCITED i think he

849
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 5: would have been for.

850
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: Us but here's the.

851
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 5: Issue the REACTION i got from most of my maternal,

852
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 5: relatives including my, mother really surprised and disturbed. Me we

853
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 5: saw her For Easter monday and excitedly announced it to.

854
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 5: Her she seemed almost suspicious and asked what our plans

855
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 5: were for the, future before giving two kind of robotic

856
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 5: handshakes and saying.

857
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:03,359
Speaker 1: Congratulations we got marriage. Handshakes she got marriage handshakes from her.

858
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 5: Mother that's a bad. Sign then later she sat us

859
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 5: down and asked how this would affect our educational. Futures

860
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,280
Speaker 5: she even pulled me aside to talk to me about

861
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 5: life insurance and, wills saying that WHOEVER i, marry she

862
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 5: wants to ensure a good life for me and her future,

863
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 5: grandchildren and not any step. Grandchildren she outright warned against

864
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 5: leaving money To frank or sharing my resources with, him

865
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 5: because what if you pass away and he remarries and

866
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 5: has kids with the new, Wife she'll spend all the

867
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 5: money and he won't care about your. Kids this isn't

868
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 5: the first time she has basically coached me to assume,

869
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 5: everyone including my future, husband is out to get, me

870
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 5: and THAT i can't trust anyone except blood. FAMILY i

871
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 5: find it ridiculous and really really. DEPRESSING i told, her

872
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 5: in no one certain, terms THAT i knew exactly WHO

873
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 5: i was going to, marry so she can lay off

874
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 5: the hypothetical WHOEVER i marry, talk and furthermore that he

875
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 5: wasn't the type of person who would have bandon our

876
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 5: children just Because i'm passed. Away she insisted she was

877
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 5: giving practical and realistic.

878
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: Advice SO i just changed the.

879
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,479
Speaker 5: Subject in the group chat for my maternal, relatives only

880
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 5: three of them have. Responded there are nine people total

881
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 5: in the, chat including. Me one, Cousin, larry sent a shocked,

882
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 5: emoji and an aunt, said most, importantly don't let it

883
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 5: affect your. STUDIES i wasn't sure how to even respond to,

884
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 5: that SO i just sent back With frank's, support everything

885
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 5: has been better in my, life including my.

886
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: Studies larry just, said oh.

887
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 5: REALLY i stopped responding after, that AS i found the

888
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,479
Speaker 5: reactions really bizarre and. Hurtful another of my, Cousins dan

889
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 5: piped up to say That frank's a lucky guy and congratulated,

890
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 5: us which was nice AND i thanked. Him but after

891
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 5: that it's been radio silence for a whole. Day i've

892
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 5: Messaged dan privately to ask IF i wrote or said something,

893
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 5: wrong THOUGH i haven't heard back yet.

894
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: Update dan has no.

895
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 5: IDEA i am super grateful for all the positive reactions

896
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 5: we have, gotten both From frank's family and from my paternal,

897
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 5: relatives as well as from our friends and, community BUT

898
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 5: i can't help but feel really shaken by my mom's

899
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 5: reaction and the response of my maternal. RELATIVES i don't

900
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,439
Speaker 5: understand the fixation on my, studies aside from the fact

901
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,720
Speaker 5: That i've already GRADUATED uni and have been actively applying

902
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 5: to medical, schools WHICH i hear back about in a few,

903
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 5: weeks which me luck while working full. Time i've never

904
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 5: been the type to engender worry about my. Academics MY

905
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 5: gpa has always been around to thirty, nine And frank

906
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 5: is literally the most supportive person when it comes to my.

907
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 5: Schooling he took care of me during my undergrad, thesis

908
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 5: helped proofread my medical, applications and has always celebrated my.

909
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 5: Successes he takes great care of me and uplifts me so.

910
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: MUCH i don't.

911
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 5: KNOW i GUESS i WISH i knew why they were

912
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 5: reacting like. This i'm just floored and have no idea

913
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 5: how to proceed with them being so weirdly hostile towards my.

914
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 5: ENGAGEMENT i really thought they'd be, excited because, well that's

915
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 5: how people generally.

916
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: React what DO i do you move on without these?

917
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 2: PEOPLE i know it's really easy to just be, like

918
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 2: don't care from an outside, perspective but it's, like truly,

919
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 2: like if these people just can't be like happy for

920
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 2: you and excited you're getting, married forget them in the context.

921
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: Of your engagement or your wedding or your. Marriage forget.

922
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: Them who? Cares if you really want them to that.

923
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 5: Bad the next thing you do is you send them

924
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 5: an invite to the, wedding and if they say, no

925
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 5: they say, no you don't even need to do.

926
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: THAT i have a.

927
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 2: Sneaking it's, like there's there's a classiest thing going on.

928
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 2: Here there's some kind of othering happening to your husband

929
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: by this whole side of your. Family, YEAH i gotta

930
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 2: assume it like came down the chain of command from

931
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: like your mom and that AND edsad just infected.

932
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: Everybody we have an.

933
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 5: Update hey, EVERYONE i posted my original issue a little while.

934
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 5: Ago long story, SHORT i got, engaged and WHEN i

935
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 5: announced it to my mom and maternal, RELATIVES i got

936
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 5: a really cold. RECEPTION i posted basically BECAUSE i didn't

937
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 5: really know how to process.

938
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 1: It i'm still kind of in.

939
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 5: Disbelief BUT i actually had a chance to chat with

940
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 5: one of my maternal.

941
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 1: AUNTS i thought she called me and called her.

942
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 5: Back turns out it was a butt, Dial but SINCE

943
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 5: i had her on the, LINE i decided to ask

944
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 5: what her perspective. WAS i won't really hush out the

945
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 5: details of the, conversation but essentially it seems to boil

946
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 5: down to a few. Things, first because of the distance

947
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 5: and language, barrier none of them really Know frank very,

948
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 5: well so mostly they are going off what they're told about.

949
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 5: Him it seems that my mom has been talking about

950
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 5: him in unflattering ways and just overall painting him as

951
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 5: not good.

952
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: Enough, yeah why are we doing?

953
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 5: That?

954
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 7: Mom why are we?

955
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 5: Do he? Said one weird thing that they seem to

956
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 5: have fixated on is that he doesn't have a bold driver's.

957
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 5: LICENSE i don't. EITHER i have a new driver's, license

958
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 5: and he has a. Learner's neither of us have a,

959
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 5: car and public transit is decent enough in our, city

960
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 5: so getting a full license hasn't really been a top.

961
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 5: Priority it seems, though that between that and him not

962
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 5: being in the workforce full time yet because.

963
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: You, know still in.

964
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 5: School even though they've been told about his part time,

965
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 5: job my mom doesn't think very highly of his ability

966
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,359
Speaker 5: to provide and, disapproves despite saying to my face that

967
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 5: she will just love WHOEVER i. Love they see only

968
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 5: my mom's disapproval and nothing of how hard he, works

969
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 5: how sweet he, is how creative. Funny so IF i

970
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 5: am to change their, MINDS i am already starting on

971
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 5: the back foot and running damage. Control, second they seem

972
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 5: to Think i'm still a. Baby my aunt was, saying

973
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 5: How i'm still young at? ALL i pointed out THAT

974
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 5: i was turning twenty five this year on the young

975
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 5: end for an, Engagement, sure but by no means a.

976
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 5: Child she actually did a double take when she realized, That,

977
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 5: yeah but.

978
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: Like, also twenty five is still. Young twenty five is still.

979
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 5: Young BUT i have also had this realization of talking

980
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 5: to CAUSE i just turned twenty five of my cousins

981
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 5: and then being, like you're you're, Twenty, no you're, eighteen,

982
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 5: Right And i'm, like, No.

983
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,959
Speaker 1: I've been an adult for a. While, yeah it's probably

984
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 1: more of like a it's just been a. While it's

985
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: been a lot of, distance and they're, like, oh you're.

986
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 2: Right.

987
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 5: Yeah she also asked about a lot of, things what

988
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 5: we plan for the, future if we've talked about having,

989
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 5: kids what sort of lifestyle we. Want basic butt crap

990
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 5: that anyone with half a brain a foresight would talk

991
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 5: about before an.

992
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: Engagement they. Don't, yeah they just don't know that. Though,

993
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 1: yeah they're excited to hear.

994
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 5: IT i obviously had answers for all the things she,

995
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 5: asked and she almost seems surprised THAT i never once

996
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 5: had to say we've never talked about that OR i don't.

997
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 5: Know she ended up saying That i'm a grown person

998
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 5: who can make her own decisions and that she just

999
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 5: wishes me. Well we also talked about my mom a.

1000
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 5: Bit we kind of ended the conversation. There it's been

1001
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 5: a few days, now and at the end of it,

1002
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 5: ALL i Think i'm just angry and. SAD i know

1003
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 5: Neither frank NOR i are at our life goals, yet

1004
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 5: and we still have plenty of growing to. Do BUT

1005
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 5: i just feel super disrespected and. Underestimated i'm pissed that

1006
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 5: my mom would claim to just want me to be

1007
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 5: happy and that she'd love WHOEVER i, love and then

1008
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,399
Speaker 5: turn around and talk crap about the MAN i love

1009
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 5: and who has been an incredible supportive partner to. Me

1010
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 5: she keeps saying that she wants a better relationship with,

1011
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 5: me but, Honestly i'm starting to see that she. Doesn't not,

1012
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 5: really she wants a better relationship with who she wants

1013
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 5: me to, be not WHO i actually.

1014
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: Am, yeah oh p said, It Oh pie said. It

1015
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: Said the thing guys that she just wants. You she

1016
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: wants to just mold, you inform me like a little

1017
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: ball of. Clay but you are a.

1018
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 5: Human but we have an, Update and to be, FAIR

1019
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 5: i GUESS i feel the same. WAY i would love

1020
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 5: a better relationship with my mom if my mom were

1021
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 5: more genuinely supportive and less judgmental and didn't think her

1022
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 5: perspective is the objective truth quite so. Much, Whatever i'm

1023
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 5: still going to get married And i'm super happy about. That,

1024
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,359
Speaker 5: yeah my future husband is a swell guy who makes

1025
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 5: me really.

1026
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: Happy.

1027
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 5: Yeah if anyone can't bring themselves to feel genuinely happy for,

1028
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 5: us then they can feel free to f write off.

1029
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 7: End of that.

1030
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: Story we got. There that's exactly where you want to.

1031
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: Be, Yeah and if you can fully embody that in

1032
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 2: a real, way you're.

1033
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: Perfect your mom's not giving him a.

1034
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 5: CHANCE i think it's clear that maybe her parents were,

1035
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 5: divorced AND i think your mom is projecting all of

1036
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 5: that onto you And, frank.

1037
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: There's definitely some nonsense going on in the logic department

1038
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: of your.

1039
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 1: Mom's my father ruined my. Guitar it was the last

1040
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 1: straw for me and the last string on the.

1041
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 2: Guitar trigger warning on this episode right now for narcissistic

1042
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 2: parents as this dad is a narsy and.

1043
00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: Also for mentions of self.

1044
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 2: Harm AND i am a pharmacy intern and an immunizer

1045
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: that has been helping out.

1046
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: Since the pandemic started.

1047
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 2: It i've been working crazy hours and my schedule at

1048
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 2: the hospital is all over the.

1049
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: Place for everyone.

1050
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: Listening And dad That ani stands for Nars i'm going

1051
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 2: to just refer to him As dad for the rest

1052
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 2: of the.

1053
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: Story my dad is.

1054
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: The type where he needs total control over my life

1055
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 2: and needs to know my exact schedule and times and

1056
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 2: tracks the mileage on my car and, everything which sounds

1057
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 2: like narcissism'. Me my mom just sticks to everything my dad,

1058
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 2: says so there is no use. There i've learned to

1059
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 2: live with, it As i'm staying home with my parents

1060
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 2: during the pandemic to save. Money by the, way this

1061
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: comes from Muser Kitty glock and if you want to

1062
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 2: submit your own, stories go to the rt Slash okay

1063
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 2: storytime subredd. It this, day in, particular the hospital was

1064
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 2: severely understaffed AND i stayed behind three hours to help,

1065
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 2: out per my supervisor asking me. TO i called my

1066
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: dad to let him know and he didn't, answer SO

1067
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 2: i left him a voicemail and shot him at tex

1068
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 2: just in. Case after, THIS i left my phone on

1069
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: the pharmacy desk somewhere AS i was assisting and delivering

1070
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 2: medicine throughout the hospital and it was so, HECTIC i

1071
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 2: just didn't think much of. It after my shift was,

1072
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 2: OVER i grabbed my stuff and NOTICED i had twenty

1073
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 2: plus missed calls from my. DAD i called and he was,

1074
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 2: furious calling me a liar cheater and effing's stupid. Witch

1075
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 2: he told Me i'd regret lying and to come home.

1076
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 2: Immediately WHEN i came, HOME i expected another screaming. Match

1077
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 2: but WHAT i didn't expect is that my even as

1078
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: black or a, burst just completely effed up on the.

1079
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 2: Ground it was a gift from my late, uncle who

1080
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 2: was an avid guitar player and taught me from the

1081
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 2: age of. Ten he left me a sum of money

1082
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: after he passed for me to pick any guitar of my.

1083
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 2: Choice he was my dad's bio brother and saved me

1084
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 2: from a lot of butt slappins and basically raised me

1085
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: into WHAT i am. TODAY i considered him basically my father,

1086
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 2: figure so the guitar was extremely sentimental to. Me he

1087
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 2: passed away WHEN i was fifteen from colon, camp and

1088
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 2: the guitar was the last THING i had from. Him

1089
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 2: playing the guitar for me was a hobby that took

1090
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: away so much stress and gave me so much happiness and.

1091
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 2: Relief my guitar saved me from so many times WHERE

1092
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 2: i considered self harm and gave me a reason to.

1093
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,479
Speaker 2: Live so coming home to see her smashed to crap

1094
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 2: on the living room floor was like looking.

1095
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: At my will to live literally being.

1096
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 2: Destroyed as corny as that, sounds, anyways my dad basically

1097
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 2: said it's my fault SINCE i didn't wait to call

1098
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 2: him multiple times to pick. Up but apparently he can't

1099
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 2: effing read a text message or listen to a. VOICEMAIL

1100
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,320
Speaker 2: i gathered the pieces of my guitar into a trash

1101
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 2: bag and, clothing AND i stole all his toilet paper

1102
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 2: and booked it to a hotel Where i'm writing this

1103
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 2: on my. iPhone i don't know What i'm gonna do,

1104
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 2: now BUT i Know i'm never gonna talk or see him,

1105
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: again and that makes me feel. BETTER i WISH i

1106
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 2: could see my uncle, again though there's an edit. Here

1107
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,399
Speaker 2: the black Or burst is a twenty nineteen model guitar

1108
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: THAT i bought with the money that my uncle left with,

1109
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 2: Me hence it was his last gift to. Me but

1110
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: he passed away and was buried with His IBANEZ rg seven.

1111
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 2: Seventy that was his. Guitar he was An ibanez, man

1112
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 2: AND i wanted to just carry on the. TRADITION i

1113
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: wanted to clear up the confusion if there was, any

1114
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 2: and there is an. Update hello, Everyone i'm so SORRY

1115
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 2: i haven't been able to update. Sooner life has been,

1116
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 2: hectic and, honestly it's been really hard for me to

1117
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 2: really think about. It thank you so much to everyone

1118
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: who gave me great advice and. REASSURANCE i don't know

1119
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 2: what would have happened IF i didn't have the. Support

1120
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 2: going to go ahead and address a couple of, things

1121
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 2: and thank the people who reach out to me, privately

1122
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 2: not only to extend a hand of me, financially but

1123
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 2: give me such kind.

1124
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: Words thank.

1125
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 2: You it means a. Lot what is the model of the?

1126
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 2: Guitar IT'S rgd seven to one alms work. Situation the

1127
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: day after the incident, HAPPENED i notified security of the

1128
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 2: threat immediately and removed my parents from my contact. LIST

1129
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 2: i also let some of my coworkers know about my,

1130
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 2: situation AND i have coworkers who work nearly the same

1131
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 2: schedule AS i, do so we've been parking next to

1132
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 2: each other and they've basically been escorting me to and

1133
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 2: from the, buildings And i'm eternally. GRATEFUL i have also

1134
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,959
Speaker 2: spoken with my supervisor about having me transferred to another

1135
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 2: hospital farther. Away, unfortunately due to the, circumstances we are

1136
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 2: in right, now short staffed and, pandemic and most positions are.

1137
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: Filled i'm unable to, transfer but a transfer is SOMETHING

1138
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 2: i would have to wait for in a couple of

1139
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 2: months necessary documents for moving. Out my best Friend rob

1140
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: and his boyfriend have allowed me to stay with them

1141
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,439
Speaker 2: for as long AS i need. To rob is very

1142
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 2: familiar with my dad and has even extended the offer

1143
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 2: to let me stay with him even before the guitar smash.

1144
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 2: Happened really grateful for his support right, now And i've

1145
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,760
Speaker 2: been trying my best to be an amazing roommate because

1146
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 2: this seems like it's.

1147
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 1: Going to be a long term.

1148
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 2: Thing seeing How i'm unable to transfer with my, JOB

1149
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 2: i was thinking of looking at getting my own, apartment

1150
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 2: But robin sits on me staying as long AS i

1151
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,919
Speaker 2: can pay rent and do chores around the, house Which

1152
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 2: i'm more than happy to, do so no.

1153
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: Worries living situation figured.

1154
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 2: Out i'm sure children of narcissistic parents get very familiar

1155
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: with their parents' schedule so they can plan around. It

1156
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: all throughout my teen, LIFE i memorized my parents' work.

1157
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 2: Schedule knowing this, INFO i basically planned sneaking back into the,

1158
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 2: house packing the rest of my stuff and. Bouncing SINCE

1159
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 2: i did a half butt job the first, TIME i

1160
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 2: knew where all my important documents were fortunately and got

1161
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 2: the rest of my clothes and. Belongings the surprising thing

1162
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 2: was WHEN i went in my, room there was a

1163
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 2: card on the desk from my, parents and it was

1164
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 2: addressed to. Me, basically in the letter was an apology

1165
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 2: from my. Dad he was saying how he lost control

1166
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 2: and he was only worried about me Since i'm his only,

1167
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 2: child and THAT i should understand his anger comes from

1168
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: a place of. Love he says he knows his an

1169
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 2: is an issue and it's the reason why we don't

1170
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 2: have a healthy. Relationship it was really painful for me to.

1171
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: Read dang it straight up balled my eyes out in my.

1172
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 2: Room the crazy thing about my narcissistic parents is that

1173
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 2: most of the time they realize how damaging their actions,

1174
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 2: are but they won't fix them because they think they're

1175
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 2: right and that they can't do anything. Wrong if we

1176
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 2: the children get hurt by their, actions we deserve. It

1177
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 2: that is how their mind. Works as much AS i

1178
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 2: wanted to forgive, him BECAUSE i do love him very,

1179
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 2: MUCH i knew IF i, did the cycle would start

1180
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 2: all over, again and next Time i'd lose much more

1181
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 2: than a guitar over his. TANTRUM i left the note

1182
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 2: on the, desk opened so he would KNOW i read,

1183
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 2: it and still chose to leave a police report for damaged.

1184
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 2: PROPERTY i am not filing a police report against my.

1185
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,280
Speaker 2: DAD i really thought about, it BUT i decided against,

1186
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,319
Speaker 2: it even though that guitar was a good chunk of

1187
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 2: money and it would be a felony. CHARGE i really

1188
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 2: just don't have the energy to put into. It but

1189
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,280
Speaker 2: my parents are on the wealthier, side So i'm sure

1190
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 2: it would be a really drawn out legal. Fight addressing

1191
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 2: the cheating, Part, yes my dad called me a cheater

1192
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 2: over the phone for, real and it isn't the first

1193
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 2: time he has a skewed definition of the word. Cheater but,

1194
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,280
Speaker 2: Again i'm his only child And i'm also a. Girl

1195
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 2: he's always felt like he's had this claim over, me

1196
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 2: Like i'm his. Property that's actually the most disturbing Thing

1197
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 2: i've read in this entire.

1198
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,760
Speaker 1: Story, ah your.

1199
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 2: Dad claims you as property and says you're cheating on

1200
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 2: him with just other human.

1201
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 1: Beings Ah, No.

1202
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 2: Yeah that's LIKE i Would can you file a restraining

1203
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 2: order against your dad with just the information you have right?

1204
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: Now BECAUSE i would do.

1205
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: THAT i would try to find a way to make

1206
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 2: it illegal for him to come around you and something

1207
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 2: that could get him punished by.

1208
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 1: Law make the.

1209
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 5: Police, report but say you don't want to press, charges

1210
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 5: so that they still have the, report and if he

1211
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 5: comes back and tries, anything it's. Noted you can do

1212
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 5: that without actually having to go through with any legal

1213
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 5: action against.

1214
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,760
Speaker 2: Him he always lost his crap WHEN i was dating

1215
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 2: someone or if anyone showed interest in.

1216
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: Me it was so effing.

1217
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 2: Weird, ah this is a whole other piece of trauma

1218
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,879
Speaker 2: in my childhood THAT i don't want to visit right.

1219
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 1: Now what happened to the.

1220
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 2: GUITAR i took my baby to an old friend of

1221
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 2: my uncle's who he used to play, with Named. ADAM

1222
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 2: i basically just handed him the trash BAG i had

1223
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 2: the guitar in and left and told him to call

1224
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,399
Speaker 2: me to see if it was. FIXABLE i really didn't

1225
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 2: want to look at the guitar anymore THAN i had.

1226
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 2: To he called me a couple hours later and told

1227
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 2: me there was no WAY i could salvager if anyone

1228
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 2: knows anything About, ibanez they are known for their slender,

1229
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 2: necks and her neck was so damaged it was on

1230
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 2: the verge of. Snapping my dad didn't just smash my

1231
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 2: guitar on the. Ground he took a hammer or something

1232
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 2: to the body and bent the. NECK i just ended

1233
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: up deciding to burn the guitar and just keeping the

1234
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,479
Speaker 2: metal pieces like the tuner's bridge and. Strings as it keeps, saying,

1235
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: honestly losing that guitar feels like losing my uncle all over.

1236
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 2: Again painful as f and it took a day after

1237
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 2: the incident for all the emotions to set. In i've

1238
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,240
Speaker 2: been drowning myself in work and maybe a little booze

1239
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 2: to not think about. It AND i don't THINK i

1240
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 2: really want to play anytime. Soon why DID i steal

1241
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: all the toilet? Paper he stole the toilet paper because

1242
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 2: it's the pandemic and these people deserve to not be

1243
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 2: able to wipe their.

1244
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 1: Butts that's why he did.

1245
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 2: It, clearly the toilet paper Was the toilet paper was

1246
00:51:58,560 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 2: stolen because it was gonna be hard for them to

1247
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 2: get more toilet. Paper any smashed his, guitar AND i

1248
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 2: love that this toilet paper, thing that's, great the greatest

1249
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,240
Speaker 2: form of petty. Revenge no crimes were, committed just toilet.

1250
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 2: Paper why don't you do?

1251
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: It have a?

1252
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 2: Pioneers did? It you have two, hands right left, hand right?

1253
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 2: Hand pick. ONE a lot of you are saying this

1254
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 2: is a last gift from my, uncle the freedom from

1255
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: my dad, forever and that's, beautiful AND i think it's.

1256
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 2: True i'm not a spiritual, person but that night in

1257
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 2: the hotel AFTER i made this, POST i had some

1258
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: dark thoughts AND i dreamed about my uncle that night

1259
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 2: for the first time in. YEARS i guess everything happens

1260
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 2: for a. Reason, again thanks so much to. EVERYONE i

1261
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 2: owe this update to, y'all and just a final. Edit

1262
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 2: my uncle actually left me quite a bit when he,

1263
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 2: passed AND i will be very comfortable for a.

1264
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 1: While money was never an.

1265
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 2: Issue the only Reason i'm staying With, rob my, friend

1266
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 2: is because he's just afraid for my safety IF i

1267
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 2: were to stay home. Alone my dad is crazy enough

1268
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 2: to hire A. PI i also plan on melting the

1269
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 2: metal pieces down into, jewelry as many of you. Recommended,

1270
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 2: yeah AND i will post the.

1271
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 1: Results love, you, Guys and that is the end of that.

1272
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 2: Story your father hiring A pi against you probably could

1273
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 2: be used for some kind of maybe harassment. CASE i

1274
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: don't know all the stuff that your dad does against,

1275
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 2: you pay per trail. It your priority one is making

1276
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 2: it so that if he does try to get close

1277
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 2: to you, again you can have that be an arrestable.

1278
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,399
Speaker 5: Offense, yeah and staying with your friend for safety for.

1279
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 1: A, while that's a great.

1280
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 5: Idea, Yeah and eventually maybe you can find a different

1281
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 5: roommate for a place on your, own or maybe eventually

1282
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 5: live on your.

1283
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 1: Own but, yeah it's safe for. Now, hey It's john.

1284
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: Here we're gonna get back to the.

1285
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 2: Stories put a quick three minute ad break from our

1286
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:41,919
Speaker 2: sponsors that keep the show.

1287
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 5: GOING i refuse to join my family's holiday trip because

1288
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 5: my mother will be.

1289
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: THERE i hate my, mom and.

1290
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 5: We have a trigger warning mentions of A my twenty

1291
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 5: eight female dad is a massive enabler of my narc,

1292
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 5: mom who will just call mom.

1293
00:53:58,520 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 1: Despite the fact that they're.

1294
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 5: Divorced my dad keeps in contact with her every, day

1295
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 5: and if it wasn't for, him probably no one in

1296
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 5: my family would talk to. Her by the, way this

1297
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 5: comes from Fake, Lancelot and if you want to submit

1298
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 5: your own, stories go to the r Slash okay storytime

1299
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 5: sup reread. It she is harmful and probably always will,

1300
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 5: be and we haven't talked in three. Weeks after our last,

1301
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 5: fight she blew up at me over a random news

1302
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 5: article and then showed up in my room at one

1303
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 5: am crying about HOW.

1304
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,279
Speaker 1: I pick fights with her to get her to yell on.

1305
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 5: Purpose SO i love my dad and, sister they have

1306
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 5: a really bad habit of manipulating me into going along

1307
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 5: with all of their. Plans this, YEAR i found out

1308
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 5: that my dad had planned a trip to another province

1309
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,760
Speaker 5: to stay with my mom's extended family for a, week

1310
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 5: and most definitely because he KNEW i would not want to,

1311
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 5: come booked my airline ticket In airbnb without telling, me

1312
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 5: and has told all of our RELATIVES i will be.

1313
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 5: COMING i found out from my grandpa he never asked

1314
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 5: me directly and just kept ASSUMING i would. Come he

1315
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 5: dropped literally hundreds of dollars on willful. Manifesting WHEN i

1316
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,720
Speaker 5: finally brought this up to him and SAID i didn't

1317
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 5: want to come and that he never actually asked, me

1318
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,760
Speaker 5: he admitted that he didn't and, apologized but then pulled

1319
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 5: out every manipulation tactic in the book to get me

1320
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:16,160
Speaker 5: to agree to.

1321
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 1: Come your relatives will all be passing away.

1322
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,799
Speaker 5: Soon what if you just come for three days And

1323
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 5: i'll book you an early flight. Back you're my, favorite

1324
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,760
Speaker 5: so if you don't, GO i won't want to go. Either,

1325
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,320
Speaker 5: DISGUSTING i refused and told HIM i didn't want to

1326
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,439
Speaker 5: spend My christmas holidays worrying about my mom coming into

1327
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 5: my room at WHEN i am to randomly shout at.

1328
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 5: Me he insisted she wouldn't do, that but we both

1329
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 5: know she. Will she always. Does my sister sympathizes that

1330
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 5: my dad never asked me and That mom's behavior towards me.

1331
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 5: Sucks but despite me having multiple conversations with both my

1332
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:51,720
Speaker 5: dad and my, sister they still tell Everyone i'm coming

1333
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 5: and act like nothing's. Happened this is obviously disrespectful and crazy.

1334
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 5: Making but despite my therapist and my friends all telling

1335
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 5: ME i should absolutely not go on the trip and

1336
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 5: uphold my boundaries for my own peace of, MIND i

1337
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 5: still find it very hard to disappoint my. Family i'm

1338
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 5: weirdly petrified by the. Idea it's made me really, depressed

1339
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 5: And i've been self isolating like. Crazy my friends have

1340
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 5: all Made christmas plans to include, me SO i won't

1341
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 5: be alone for the. Holidays i'm so lucky to have

1342
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 5: them AND i want to Spend christmas with, Them but

1343
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 5: the conversation with my dad is. TERRIFYING i know he's

1344
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,359
Speaker 5: going to try to wriggle around, it And i'm going

1345
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 5: to be the holiday bad. Guy any chance of supportive

1346
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,839
Speaker 5: people of this sub can give me the final galvanizing.

1347
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 5: PUSH i need to plant my feet down and hold my.

1348
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 5: Ground any advice is also. Welcome thank, you and we

1349
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 5: have an. UPDATE i FIGURED i should post this update

1350
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 5: BECAUSE i was blown away by the response to my

1351
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 5: first post for support and want to thank you all

1352
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 5: from the bottom of my. Heart This subredda is a

1353
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 5: godsend and without, IT i would probably be at the

1354
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 5: airport right.

1355
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 1: Now what, Dreams you're. Nice let's go fake love to

1356
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 1: this amazing.

1357
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 5: Community my mom came over yesterday so we could all

1358
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 5: leave to the airport early the next. Day she was

1359
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 5: giving me the cold shoulder off all, day only speaking

1360
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 5: to me to ask me to carry her suitcase into the.

1361
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 5: HOUSE a lunch with my sister's family and.

1362
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 1: In laws was.

1363
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 5: ORGANIZED i was not asked or consulted on. PLANS i

1364
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 5: was just expected to. Come, HOWEVER i was happy to

1365
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 5: do this BECAUSE i was not going on The christmas

1366
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 5: trip AND i still wanted to see my niece and

1367
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 5: give my sister's family their. Present as, expected everyone acted

1368
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 5: as if my travel plans were. SET i was scared

1369
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 5: out of my mind of telling my dad a firm.

1370
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 1: No BUT i had everything in.

1371
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 5: PLACE i had everyone's gifts ready to. GO i made

1372
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 5: plans from the twenty fourth Until New. YEAR'S i ordered

1373
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 5: groceries online for the, week my therapist was on. CALL

1374
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 5: i had posted On reddit for the final.

1375
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: Push it was.

1376
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 5: Time let's go to the many people who SAID i

1377
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 5: should just text her email and get out of the

1378
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 5: house until they were. GONE i see the wisdom in your. Advice, now,

1379
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 5: no she still did.

1380
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 1: It, yeah but the hard. Way, yeah like to stay

1381
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 1: on hard. MODE i was.

1382
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:58,959
Speaker 5: Too scared to do that BECAUSE i worried it would

1383
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 5: be too cold, hot AND i wanted to talk it

1384
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 5: out like.

1385
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 1: Adults from now, On i'll probably just do as you.

1386
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: Suggested it would save myself a lot of.

1387
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 5: GRIEF i decided to talk to my mom, first because

1388
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 5: sometimes she will take my side in conversations with my.

1389
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 5: Dad she was surprisingly chill WHEN i told HER i wasn't,

1390
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 5: coming and agreed That dad shouldn't have gone behind my

1391
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 5: back for.

1392
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 1: Plans he's just always been that. WAY i don't think it's,

1393
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 1: intentional but.

1394
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 5: Compulsive but then very randomly segued into all the WRONGS

1395
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 5: i had committed a month, ago which primarily seemed to

1396
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 5: be letting her eat the ham i'd bought and being

1397
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 5: snappy about it when she offered to buy me.

1398
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 1: More, ope just eat the, ham eat all the. Ham,

1399
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 1: gosh what the?

1400
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 5: Heck? Obi she, SAID i don't think about the WORDS

1401
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 5: i say and how they affect.

1402
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: PEOPLE i said THAT i definitely.

1403
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 5: Have times WHERE i get, snappy but, usually especially in

1404
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 5: the very odd cases she was giving, me it was

1405
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 5: in response to her And dad's.

1406
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: Behavior she said she didn't think that was, fair and

1407
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:56,439
Speaker 1: that she.

1408
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 5: Had tried to be patient with, me and THAT i

1409
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 5: was lucky to have the pair parents THAT i, have

1410
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 5: and that MAYBE i should consider how ENTITLED i was

1411
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 5: being and my expectations were too. HIGH i, said, CALMLY

1412
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 5: i don't have any expectations for. YOU i don't want

1413
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 5: you to do. ANYTHING i just want to have Fun

1414
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 5: christmas with my. Friends my mom said she wasn't going

1415
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 5: to be satisfied UNTIL i showed her some. Gratitude dad

1416
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 5: came into the. Room somewhere in the middle of all of.

1417
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 5: This my mom was crying and yelling as she berated

1418
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 5: me for HAM i let her. Eat it is probably

1419
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 5: relevant information that my mom has diagnosed by polar. DISORDER

1420
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 5: i think her meds made need an. Update he just

1421
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 5: sat on the couch and silently, watched which is what

1422
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 5: he always. Does, finally he asked what's going, on AND

1423
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 5: i said To i'm not going to A christmas trip.

1424
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 5: Location she's mad about something, else THOUGH i have no.

1425
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 5: Idea this post is getting a little, long but suffice

1426
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 5: it to say That dad's response was the. Worst he

1427
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 5: got very, upset INSISTED i could not cancel. This late

1428
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 5: SAID i couldn't deal with, this gestures to mom. Anymore,

1429
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 5: oh in a, way and my mom exploding again was

1430
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 5: a gift From god because it reminded.

1431
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: Me that this was WHAT i would be dealing with

1432
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 1: all week IF i went on the. Trip but My

1433
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 1: dad couldn't accept.

1434
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 5: This we went two rounds of conversations Because he insisted

1435
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 5: that we needed to talk this, out but the whole

1436
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 5: time gave me the silent treatment and just sat on

1437
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 5: the stairs with his head in his, hands without, speaking

1438
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 5: acting like a.

1439
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 7: Child.

1440
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: Dude come, on come, on.

1441
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 5: Dad i'd only seen him this way when my aunt passed.

1442
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 5: Away he was acting like someone had passed away BECAUSE

1443
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,439
Speaker 5: i wasn't going on The christmas a TRIP i never

1444
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 5: agreed to.

1445
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: And that you didn't know.

1446
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 5: About, YEAH i, said is there anything you want to

1447
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 5: talk about besides trying to get me to change my?

1448
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 1: Mind he said.

1449
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 5: No later, ON i, said imagine IF i did suddenly

1450
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 5: change my mind and told You i'd go after all, this.

1451
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 1: Would that really make you feel?

1452
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 5: Better he said, yes AND i, said even Knowing i'd

1453
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 5: be miserable the whole. Time he was silent for a

1454
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 5: while and then, said you don't know how you'd feel

1455
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 5: when you got. There my mom proceeded to mock me

1456
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 5: for thinking he would answer in any other.

1457
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:57,920
Speaker 1: Way it was.

1458
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 5: Unbelievable, HONESTLY i feel like it's already believable at this

1459
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 5: point that you heard know.

1460
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 3: This, ALSO i just think the mom likes to get

1461
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 3: onto the, dad so anything the dad does wrong she's

1462
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 3: just gonna come after.

1463
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 1: Him, yeah it's the Vibe i'm. Getting but, also she's.

1464
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 3: Gonna come after you because she remembers what you did

1465
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 3: with that ham last, month and she, eats.

1466
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:19,520
Speaker 1: Didn't eat her ham and didn't buy. More why were

1467
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: you so snappy with?

1468
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 2: Her?

1469
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 5: HUH i knew my parents were not normal and very,

1470
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 5: undependable but the way they reacted still shocked. Me if

1471
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 5: you're ever not sure your family is self, absorbed tried

1472
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 5: telling them, no BUT i saw them off this, morning

1473
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 5: and as soon as they were, GONE i felt lightheaded

1474
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 5: from how good it. FELT i had cried myself to

1475
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 5: sleep without taking my makeup, off and had a couple

1476
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,920
Speaker 5: of new zits this, morning AND i still smiled at

1477
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 5: my reflection in the. Mirror the world feels so big right,

1478
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 5: now and the house doesn't feel like a giant venus fly.

1479
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 5: Trap my friends called me to check on, me and

1480
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 5: my therapists responded to my text at the speed of.

1481
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 5: Light my sister was incredibly understanding and. SUPPORTIVE i made

1482
01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 5: myself eggs and washed the sheets for the guest room

1483
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 5: because my friend is coming tomorrow to stay with me

1484
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,120
Speaker 5: for a few. DAYS i am, so so grateful to

1485
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 5: myself for choosing.

1486
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 1: ME i feel LIKE i.

1487
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 5: Stood up for a little kid today who really needed.

1488
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 5: ME i have a lot of decisions to make by

1489
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 5: the end of the, week but for the first, TIME

1490
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 5: i KNOW i can do what's best for. Myself thank,

1491
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 5: you thank, you thank you to everyone in the SUB

1492
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 5: i hope everybody who reads this chooses peace for themselves

1493
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 5: this holiday.

1494
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: Season