1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. Share trauma 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: is not our reason to stay, It's a reason to heal, 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: and sometimes that means you also got a bounce. 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 2: Hey, lady, have you ever felt like the world just 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 2: doesn't get you? Well, we do. 6 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: and empowering women like you. 8 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 2: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard, and educator and psychologists. 9 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker. 10 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 2: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from 11 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black 12 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 2: women to just be. 13 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow 14 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady. 15 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: We are black founded and black owned, and your support 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: will help us reach even more women like you. 17 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. 18 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 3: It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast. 19 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 3: Are you currently a resident of the state of California 20 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 3: in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please 21 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com. 22 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I n I q 23 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 3: U E B R O U s s ar D 24 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 3: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I 25 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 3: look forward to hearing from you. 26 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 2: Our quote of the day is given. I'm right, but 27 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 2: let's discuss it anyway, says every black woman with receipts 28 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 2: and restraint. And I'm gonna say this one more time 29 00:01:55,240 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 2: for y'all. I'm right, but let's discuss it anyway. Alright. 30 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 2: T So we know that that quote was a little cheeky, 31 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: but it fits our discussion for today. 32 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: Yes it does. Indeed, it makes me think about those 33 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: instances where like you have the receipts, you already know 34 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: that you know that, you know that you know what 35 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: you're talking about, and you're right. But because we're evolving, 36 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: because we're healing in a hold space for other people 37 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: to be able to share, let them, you know, share 38 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: even when they're wrong. This is how we feel on 39 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 1: the inside. We may not always say it out loud, 40 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: but this is how we feel in these side Sometimes yes. 41 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and it's you know all right, well, yeah, 42 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 2: we can have this discussion because I know it'll make 43 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 2: you feel better. And also sometimes we're gonna have this discussion, 44 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 2: because as we talk it out, you'll eventually come around 45 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 2: to what I said in the beginning. 46 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, the right way. 47 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 2: I'm right exactly exactly. 48 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, lady, as you can tell, we're feeling a little 49 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: like down said, a little cheeky, a little petty. You know, 50 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,639 Speaker 1: every once in a while, you gotta be a little petty. 51 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: Let's not even get into a girl now you got, 52 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: Now I'm over. I think about Cardi B's album. Yes, 53 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: I watched Queue Up Pretty and Petty. But anyway, lady, 54 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: today we are feeling bold. Okay, we are feeling bold 55 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: on this episode. 56 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 2: Yes, like like super bold, real bold, like don't cancel us, 57 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 2: just hear us out bold, like bring it back to 58 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 2: our quote of the day. M h, we're right, but 59 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 2: let's discuss it anyway. 60 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: We listen and we don't judge. Isn't that what they 61 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: say on social media? Yes, guys, listen, today's episode is 62 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: really all about those unpopular opinions, you know, the ones 63 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: you might whisper to your girlfriends or you might post 64 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: it in the group chat, but you wouldn't never posted online. 65 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I love my people, but we got to 66 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 2: talk about this kind of opinion. 67 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: Yes, indeed, yes, indeed. So here's the thing, lady. Some 68 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: of these are cultural myths, some are just hilarious hot takes, 69 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: and some well, let's just say that your auntie and 70 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: maybe even your grandma my side side eye us. Okay, 71 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: they see us the cookout because some of these, yeah, 72 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: it's gonna get interesting. It's about to get real. 73 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 2: It's about to get real, and it's all love, right, 74 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 2: it's all in love. Because we're talking about the things 75 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 2: that all of us do or all of us say, 76 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,799 Speaker 2: and we want to make sure that we're kind of conveying. 77 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: So as you're listening, some of this will will start 78 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: off in topics that's seen not seen. They are pretty serious, 79 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 2: and by the end of this episode, lady, we hope 80 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 2: that you are laughing with us and saying, oh, yeah, 81 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 2: they are right about that. 82 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: Indeed, indeed, even if you disagree, make sure you go 83 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: over to our Instagram at her Space podcast and you 84 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: just drop it on any posts like let us know 85 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: what you would add to the list or what you 86 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 1: disagree with. We want to hear your opinion as well, 87 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: and we want you to get ready, okay, get ready, 88 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: get cozy, get ready to join the conversation in your 89 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: head like you always do. Okay, you know we're your 90 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: homegirls or sister friends or auntie's in your head, whatever 91 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: you like to call us. So let's get ready. 92 00:05:54,240 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 2: All right, So hear us out. Okay, whenever you start 93 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 2: with that, listen, hear us out, and know that you 94 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 2: can walk away from this saying that you're glad that 95 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,719 Speaker 2: we said it out loud. Okay, even it real. 96 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: So should we dive into number one? The first, the 97 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: first unpopular opinion? Now, the first unpopular opinion is that 98 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: writing a will doesn't attract death, it attracts peace. Now. 99 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: I know you might be like, girl, this is morbid, 100 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 1: But honestly, when you think about it, especially in this 101 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: day age now, I don't know about you, I feel 102 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: like times have just changed. I feel like there maybe 103 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: it's because of social media, but there appear to be 104 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: so many more like tragedies and just unexpected wild things 105 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 1: happening these days versus back in the day. Like I 106 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: was thinking about all the accidents that I see now, 107 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: just an example, Okay, lady at amusement parks, I used 108 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,279 Speaker 1: to be a roller coaster girl, Girl, I'm getting on 109 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,039 Speaker 1: no motherfucker roller coaster to these day, I'm done. I 110 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: went to six Flags. I want to you know, all 111 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: the water parks, So City, all that stuff when I 112 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: was younger. I'm not doing it these days. It's too 113 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: risky to me. So when it comes to this will, right, 114 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: this first one here, it's not morbid, its maturity. Preparation 115 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: is protection. We should all be doing this in preparing 116 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: because death is the only thing that we can guarante, 117 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: one of the only things that we can guarantee in 118 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: this lifetime. It's gonna we're all gonna meet that experience 119 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: at some point. And when you think about it, a 120 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: will is love and writing right, it gives you a 121 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: family peace, not panic. I can't think of how many 122 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: times I've witnessed this in my family where somebody passed 123 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: away and people are fighting over the goddamn bed and 124 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: the house and the car, like all the things. It's 125 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: just like the shoes and the jewelry. It's like we 126 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: could have prepared for that in advance, and so it'd 127 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: be really helpful if we. I know, you're probably damn y'all. 128 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: Y'all came in hot, but this is the first one. 129 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: We're gonna get lighter in a minute. But it's the truth. 130 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 2: I have a will, yeah, I yes, yes, yes, yes, 131 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 2: you need a will. And so then that takes us 132 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 2: to the next one that is related. It's we all 133 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: need life insurance because peace of mind is a love language. 134 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: So just like you have that will, having that life 135 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 2: insurance is about the love that you are offering to 136 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 2: your family once you were gone. Right. And the thing 137 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 2: about the life insurance that I wish people knew is 138 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 2: that it is cheaper for you to pay into it 139 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 2: the earlier in life you start, and over time it's 140 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 2: better to have the whole life insurance versus a term 141 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 2: life policy. Now I am not an insurance agent, so 142 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 2: this is not meant to be advice. Let me just 143 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 2: add that disclaimer in there. All your insurance agents don't 144 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 2: come for me later. I'm just saying from what I 145 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 2: know from personal experience, having a whole life policy from 146 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 2: early on, like as early as you can get it 147 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 2: is better for you and your loved ones in the 148 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 2: long run. 149 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: Yes, and again it all goes back to peace, protecting 150 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: our peace, and honestly, get them for your kids as well, 151 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: Like this is all about preparation and also a lot 152 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: of other communities, they are using life insurance to pass 153 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: on generational wealth. So we should definitely be doing this 154 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: because the thing is, you cannot take care of your 155 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,959 Speaker 1: people in spirit if you did not plan and paper. Okay, 156 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,599 Speaker 1: because after you go that, we're not going to be 157 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: able to sign the papers and get this stuff done. 158 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: So we want to do that. We want to get 159 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: that in order. And there's a little thing going here. Okay, 160 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: we're easing into We wanted to cover the serious hot 161 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: takes and unpopular opinions first, and we're going to ease 162 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 1: into the fun stuff. But the next one kind of 163 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,719 Speaker 1: goes hand in hand with the others, and it's that 164 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: financial literacy is a form of self care. I don't 165 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: know about you, but I grew up on a household 166 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: where finances were a stressful topic. It was something we 167 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: didn't talk about, but I could see the energy around 168 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: it right like I knew that we were struggling. I 169 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: knew that we were in poverty. And the thing that 170 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: I learned dom is that avoidance is in peace. Knowing 171 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: your numbers is power. And I get it because I've 172 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: definitely been in spaces in my life. I was like, oh, 173 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to open this up. I don't want 174 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: to look at these goddamn numbers. But then it's like, okay, 175 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: let's face the music figured out, so you can then 176 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: create a plan to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. So, yes, 177 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 1: financial literacy is a former self care. 178 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I agree with that, and it's something that 179 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 2: will benefit you in the short term and the long term. 180 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: All right. 181 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 2: So then that takes us to our fourth one, who 182 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 2: all right, we're coming in hot on this one, all right, 183 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 2: and we're still talking about money. It's okay to outgrow 184 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 2: that family motto of we don't talk about money. Yes, 185 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 2: if you don't talk about it, you don't know about it. 186 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: So if you are not, if your family doesn't teach 187 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 2: you about budgeting, about planning, then how are you supposed 188 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 2: to learn about it? And I'm not saying that your 189 00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 2: ten year old needs to know how much money you 190 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 2: have in your bank account, but your ten year old 191 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 2: might be getting an allowance or might get money or 192 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: gift cards for their birthdays or holidays. They need to know. 193 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 2: It's helpful to teach them to start learning how to 194 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 2: manage their money. And so you've identify what are the 195 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 2: things that are developmentally appropriate for the people in your household. 196 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 2: But the we don't talk about money makes it feel 197 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:47,439 Speaker 2: like money is this secret, y, awful thing that you 198 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: want to be, that you need to be afraid of. 199 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 2: And then you end up with young adults who no 200 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 2: longer live in your house, who have no idea how 201 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 2: to manage money, and that leads to them making poor 202 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: financial choices which might make them dependent on you. And 203 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 2: you're like, well, you're thirty five, why are you Why 204 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 2: am I paying all of your bills when you got 205 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 2: a job. It starts a whole cycle. So stop the cycle. 206 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 2: Figure out how to build wealth, intergenerational wealth, and eliminate 207 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 2: that we don't talk about money. Reframe that, change that up. 208 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,320 Speaker 1: I love that quote that you said. You said, if 209 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: you don't talk about it, you don't know about it. 210 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth? Because when you do that, when 211 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,960 Speaker 1: we don't talk about it, it also bleeds into our careers. 212 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: Like I think about when I was first starting off 213 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,079 Speaker 1: in my career, I wasn't trying to ask for promotion 214 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: or ask other colleagues, oh what's your salary, or just 215 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: having those conversations and that'll keep you in the dark, 216 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 1: and you'll later find out that people are making wait 217 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: more than you for very it's reasons. And so what 218 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: I've learned, especially working in corporate and the Silicon Valley, 219 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: is like wealthy families they teach, they don't tiptoe, they 220 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: don't tiptoe around money. They talk about money. So let's 221 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: break the taboo. Okay, now this next one here, well, 222 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 1: get ready for this, lady. Okay, get ready, you're ready. 223 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: You don't have to stay loyal to someone just because 224 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: you've been through struggle together or you've been together forever. Okay, 225 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: to take a moment, people, Okay, like did you take 226 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: that in right? Share? Trauma is not a reason to stay. 227 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: It's a reason to heal. And sometimes that means you 228 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: also got to bounce. But I remember dom, I would 229 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: hear or see people who have been together forever, right, 230 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: they were together for like ten or twenty thirty years, 231 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 1: and they were not happy, like they both were doing 232 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: their own things on the side. They weren't happy at all, 233 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: but they were just like, oh, well, we've just been 234 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: together for this long. I don't want to start all over. 235 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: And I get it, right, everyone has their reasons. We 236 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: I think we have an episode about that as well. 237 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: But listen, just because you don't been there. If you 238 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: feel in your spirit that it's time to transition to 239 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: a different phase in life and that means leaving that relationship, 240 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: that person, whatever it might be, then you should listen 241 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: to listen to your intuition. 242 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 2: Yes, it is not worth it. It is not worth 243 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 2: it for you or for that person, and it's not 244 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 2: worth it for the kids if there are kids involved. 245 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: All right, So this next one, you can love the 246 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 2: church and still call out church hurt. It is not blasphemous. 247 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 2: It does not make you a bad Christian or insert 248 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 2: whatever religious order in this statement. If you acknowledge the 249 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 2: things that are not good. Just like you can tell 250 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: someone in your family, I'm saying this because I love 251 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 2: you and i want better for you, you can say 252 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 2: the same thing about the Church that the Church in 253 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 2: and of itself, or whatever religious affiliation you have in 254 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: and of itself is not perfect. Nothing is perfect, and 255 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 2: if it's not called out or called in whichever way 256 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 2: you want to frame it, change can't happen. The hard things, 257 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 2: the bad things, the unhealthy things, will continue to happen 258 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:51,479 Speaker 2: until it is acknowledged, and it is okay. It's actually 259 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 2: more loving depending on how you do it to point 260 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 2: out the things that are harmful. You cannot fix what 261 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 2: is not put out there. 262 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: As facts as facts. I used to have a pastor 263 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: that you used to say the church is run by humans, 264 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: Like there are humans that are doing the work, So 265 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: it's going to be flawed, there will be like you 266 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: may experience her. But I think what you said is 267 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 1: really powerful, and accountability and faith can coexist. And it's 268 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: so important to question harmful traditions. That is not rebellion. 269 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: It is spiritual maturity. I think that as I've grown, 270 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 1: even within families, like you see things that may you 271 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: maybe didn't question before. But if something doesn't seem right 272 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: these days and you're like, this is actually harmful, we 273 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: should be able to ask questions, right, And if we're 274 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: ever in a space where people are not encouraging us 275 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: to be curious, that should be a signal for us, like, 276 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: let me pause and go within on this one, okay, 277 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: because I believe we have all the answers within, all right, 278 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: So this next one right here, oh all right, get ready, 279 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: get ready. You don't have to be in relationship with 280 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 1: your family if they are disrespectful or hurtful. Oh my goodness, 281 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: this one is so good. And for our community in particular, 282 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,959 Speaker 1: I feel like this can be a tricky one, definitely 283 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: an unpopular opinion in some cases, because a lot of 284 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: people think that because you share the same blood, you 285 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 1: have to be in connection. But blood does not excuse 286 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: bad behavior. You can love and listen, let's say it. 287 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 1: Let's say it. Blood does not excuse bad behavior, and 288 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: you can love people from a distance and still on yourself. 289 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: I've talked about a lot of my family dynamics and 290 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: you know stuff on the podcast. Now. I have been 291 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: as strange. I was thinking about this earlier. I've been 292 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 1: as strange for my mom for almost six years now, 293 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: dom And I tell you this has been the best 294 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: decision I've made in my life after being pulled into 295 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: this sort of manipulative cycle. When I finally went no 296 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: contact girl, my life is so peaceful. I can forgive 297 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,920 Speaker 1: love her, send her good energy, and I don't feel 298 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: those same feelings that I used to have because the 299 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 1: behavior hasn't changed. So I don't just let anyone have 300 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,920 Speaker 1: access to me or be in my life. I don't 301 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: care what the title role is. So this is so 302 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: important because I think a lot of times people get 303 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 1: guilted into being in relationship with people who are still 304 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: harming them, who are still bringing drama and nonsense and 305 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: chaos into their lives, messing up their quality of life. 306 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: Only get one of these right here. 307 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,639 Speaker 2: So yes, yes, I agree with that. And what I 308 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 2: will add to that is something that I see a lot. 309 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, is. 310 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 2: Going no contact or cutting people out of your life. Yeah, 311 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,120 Speaker 2: without first communicating right that part? 312 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 1: That part And. 313 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 2: So for me, when I when someone is at that 314 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 2: point where they're saying, I am I no longer want 315 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 2: to have a relationship with this family member, for me, 316 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:59,719 Speaker 2: it's best if it comes after there has been con 317 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 2: or some level of communication where that where the impact, 318 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 2: the hurt, the harm has been brought to the other 319 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 2: person's attention. So if I said something that hurt your 320 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 2: feelings and I didn't realize and you cut me off, 321 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 2: no contact, block me all the things, and say, oh, 322 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 2: this relationship is done without first trying to repair, that's 323 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 2: not helpful to either one of you. But if you 324 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: have communicated, if you attempted to have conversation with this 325 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:47,400 Speaker 2: person or people about the harm, about what they did 326 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 2: that was hurtful or disrespectful, and then they still refuse 327 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 2: to acknowledge it or refuse to make any changes. Okay, 328 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 2: then we can say, yes, let's figure out what's going 329 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 2: to be the best course of action to protect ourselves, 330 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 2: to protect our peace. The conversation have to be had first. 331 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: I feel like we have to do a deeper episode 332 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 1: on this because this is a good one and I 333 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: love that you made that distinction because I just want 334 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: to say that a lot of times I do see 335 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: people go no contact to bypass right. It's just like, oh, 336 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,680 Speaker 1: someone says something, I'm just gonna not be in touch. 337 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 1: But there should be there's more to that. So lady, 338 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to have another conversation, a deeper dive 339 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: into that. But that is good. I'm glad that you 340 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: brought that point up. So should we dive into the 341 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 1: next one here? 342 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: Yes? Okay, so we're still talking about family right now. Yes, 343 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 2: living under someone's room doesn't mean they get to control 344 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 2: your life, all right. So for all my younger listeners 345 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 2: out there, yes, if you were under the age of eighteen, 346 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 2: this is not for you. 347 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,199 Speaker 1: But it's a little different. 348 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 2: This is this This one ain't for you, Okay. This 349 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 2: is for those folks who are adults and they are 350 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:22,879 Speaker 2: sharing space with someone else. Right, so you are maybe 351 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,399 Speaker 2: you're a college student and you still live at home, 352 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 2: or maybe you are an adult who is still living 353 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 2: at home for whatever reason. No judgment, right, because in 354 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 2: these economic terms, if I could live at home, I 355 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 2: probably would too. So the point of this one, this opinion, 356 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 2: is that just because someone lives, you're living under someone 357 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 2: else's roof. They don't have the right to control everything 358 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 2: in your life. Now, let me be clear. They do 359 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 2: have a saying some things and how they have a 360 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 2: say in how their householder is run. Yes, right, but 361 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 2: they don't have the right to control when you come 362 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 2: and go. They can ask because it is their home, 363 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 2: but they don't have control over that. They don't have 364 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 2: control over your mail. They don't, which I know is 365 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 2: something in a lot of families. Yes, if that mail 366 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 2: comes to my house and I'm the person paying the mortgage, 367 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 2: I get to get. 368 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: A SA That is wild and illegal. Okay, yeah, but listen, 369 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,359 Speaker 1: tell black, tell all black failure that they're like, oh 370 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,640 Speaker 1: it's my address, I'm open. 371 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 2: Your name is not on it. It is not for you, 372 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 2: and that is illegal. 373 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,360 Speaker 1: So dom my, I guess it's my unpopular opinion here 374 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 1: is if somebody's living in under my roof, I'm down 375 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: for the curfew because I'm like, you're not gonna be 376 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: coming up in my house all times a night. But 377 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: as far as controlling aspects of their life, I know 378 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: family members, like you said, they're looking through their stuff, 379 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: Like why are you looking through my personal belongings? That's too, 380 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 1: Like that's out of control, right, you are trying to 381 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: determine who this person is like dating or who they're 382 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: with when they're an adult, you know what I mean. 383 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: Like there's this other level of like humiliation or manipulation 384 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 1: that comes along with it. And it's like, if that's 385 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: the case, let me find another place to be right, 386 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,879 Speaker 1: if I have the means to do that, because this 387 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: is just Yeah, So I think, like you said, there 388 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,480 Speaker 1: are some guidelines. If it's your house, of course, you 389 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: have rules, and people need defile them, whether it's they 390 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 1: pay a certain amount or clean. But like controlling that 391 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: person in that way, come on, now, gotta respect the 392 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,919 Speaker 1: human as well and their. 393 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 2: Boundary exactly exactly. That's about it. That's what you think 394 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 2: and out of them here, and that's about you trying 395 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 2: to have control over things that you don't necessarily need 396 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 2: to have control over. 397 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 1: Okay, now let's talk about something that we can control. 398 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,879 Speaker 1: The next one here, we're actually on a number nine. Lady. 399 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: You're never too old to change. Wisdom doesn't mean you 400 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,679 Speaker 1: stop growing. I cannot tell you how many people that 401 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,440 Speaker 1: I have. It's mostly a family I feel like I've 402 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 1: interacted with, or they just kind of accept this notion 403 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: of oh, well, I've always been this way, so I'm 404 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,679 Speaker 1: just going to be this way. Yeah, I've always believed 405 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,760 Speaker 1: this and I get it though, Like when you are 406 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: so accustomed to a certain pattern, it can be very 407 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: challenging to change, especially when you're older. Right, But it 408 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're too old to change. You can change, right, 409 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 1: You can if you want to, if you put in 410 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: the work. And so, yeah, I don't necessarily subscribe to this, 411 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 1: like growth doesn't expire. And I love the idea of 412 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 1: being a lifelong learner, but usually when you are around 413 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 1: people who are not trying to grow, there's going to 414 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: be some friction, especially if you are on a growth 415 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 1: path or you're going to have some perspectives that don't 416 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: align and there's going to be friction. So yeah, I say, 417 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: how old you are, you should be able to grow, 418 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 1: evolve and get better and not just keep I'm thinking 419 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,360 Speaker 1: about toxic patterns right now down like, oh, I've been 420 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: communicating this way and talking like this, so I'm just 421 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: gonna say this way, well, and we want to really 422 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: work for you, okay. 423 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 2: Because maybe it's not and you're just you're you. You've 424 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,879 Speaker 2: adapted to it, but it's not working for you, right, 425 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 2: and so you know. And the thing that I think 426 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 2: about too is that, like I constantly try to tell 427 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 2: myself that like that, I that I am a person 428 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,719 Speaker 2: who is open to growing and open to change. Yes, 429 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 2: but the reality is that change is hard. And what 430 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 2: I find myself fighting is when someone younger wants to 431 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 2: show me something that I am pretty set in this 432 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 2: works for me, like it truly works for me. 433 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: Right. 434 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,439 Speaker 2: Where I find myself fighting is Okay, well, if this 435 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 2: really truly is working for me, why do I need 436 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 2: to change it? And so that's the internal dialogue that 437 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 2: I'm that I have with myself of like, okay, let 438 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 2: me hear them out, and what would it hurt for 439 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:27,239 Speaker 2: me to try it. Yeah, try this new way, and 440 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 2: if it truly doesn't work, then I go back to 441 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 2: the way I was doing it, right, Yeah, but also 442 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 2: being willing to to learn new things in general, Like 443 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 2: I think about technology, and I think about how technology 444 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 2: has evolved, right, And the thing that I also remind 445 00:27:55,680 --> 00:28:02,879 Speaker 2: myself is that when my grandparents were younger, they didn't 446 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 2: have microwaves. Like there are certain common things that I 447 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 2: use every day that they had to learn how to 448 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,680 Speaker 2: use because it was invented in their lifetime. Yeah, right, 449 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 2: And if they were, if they were able to adapt 450 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:29,679 Speaker 2: enough to use those things, then I can adapt to 451 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 2: the new technologies that are coming out in my lifetime. 452 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: That's a good one. I like to where you frame that. 453 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 2: All Right, so the next one, you know, now we're 454 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 2: gonna we're gonna shift the energy up a little bit 455 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 2: for this next half. You don't have to save your 456 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 2: good stuff for a special occasion. So use that shade 457 00:28:54,760 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 2: butter every day, you wear that perfume, wear that outfit, 458 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,719 Speaker 2: Drink that fancy bottle of wine or cognac or whatever 459 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 2: it is. 460 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 1: You use some dishes. 461 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:13,239 Speaker 2: Listen, Okay, you don't have to save it for a 462 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 2: special occasion. Because one of the things that I have 463 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 2: learned or really feel has been a big theme this 464 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 2: year is that tomorrow is not promised. Yeah, like, I 465 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 2: don't know that. I can't even tell you. It has 466 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 2: been wild to me the number of people that I 467 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 2: know have experienced a loss, the death of a loved 468 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 2: one this year. Tomorrow isn't promised. So that that perfume 469 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 2: that you love that you I spent two hundred dollars 470 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 2: on wear it every day. You don't have to give 471 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 2: it ten sprays every day, but wear it every day. Right, 472 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 2: those special dishes that were a gift for your wedding, 473 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 2: you don't have to save those for a special occasion. 474 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 2: You and your partner eat dinner on those every night. 475 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 2: You don't have to wait to celebrate, wait for something 476 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 2: big to celebrate. You got all your things on your 477 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 2: to do list checked off today. Bet celebrate that. 478 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 1: I love it. I say, we are the special occasion, 479 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,719 Speaker 1: Like we are here, Yes, we have the gift of life. Like, 480 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 1: let's stop waiting for permission to feel good? You know, 481 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: dom It makes me think about back in the day, right, 482 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: and I know you may be able to relate to 483 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: this as well. Lady. My grandmother had this nice white couch. 484 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,480 Speaker 1: You already know how I'm going with this, And she 485 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 1: had this hard ass plastic on the couch and I 486 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 1: used to lay on the couch with her, watching her 487 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:09,440 Speaker 1: her stories. And I remember that couch. The edges of 488 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: it used to sometimes scratch my leg up. It was 489 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 1: so uncomfortable. And now I think about it, I'm like, 490 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,440 Speaker 1: I don't think we've ever actually felt the material of 491 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: that couch. I get that, you know, they'd be trying 492 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: to protect that special room or protect the protect the furniture, 493 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 1: But how can we still protect certain things but also 494 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: enjoy them? 495 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 3: Right? 496 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: Joy now beats someday every time, because, like you said, 497 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: tomorrow is not promised, and so there has to be 498 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,680 Speaker 1: a way that we can feel more joy and experience 499 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 1: those things like take you know, if the kids are 500 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 1: not around, sit on that couch for a little bit, 501 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 1: just on it. You can put the rat back on it, 502 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: because I get that you don't want to mess it up, 503 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: but like, let's enjoy the things, you know. 504 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yes, yes, ok, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about 505 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 2: the couch. I think my grandparents had a living room, 506 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 2: they had their din and they had their living room, 507 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 2: and the living room was for special occasions. And you 508 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 2: may not even be caught going into the living room 509 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 2: bednot because there was another route to the other parts 510 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 2: of the house. Better not go in that living room. 511 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:13,800 Speaker 2: Really special occasions, uh huh, like Christmas or there were 512 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 2: people visiting. Yes, like that, That's just what it was. 513 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 2: And so nowadays it's you know, I'm in people's homes nowadays, 514 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 2: and very few people have that special sitting room or 515 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 2: the plastic on the couch because we're using these things. 516 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 1: Okay, indeed, okay, So look the next one right now, 517 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: number eleven. We have a little I have a little story. 518 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to share it with this one. So 519 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 1: this one is you can wear white after labor Day. Now, 520 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 1: for some of you, y like, what, of course you can, 521 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 1: But this is like an old school thing, right And Tom, 522 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,680 Speaker 1: I was telling you before we started. I went to 523 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: this Chris Brown concert when I was in high school 524 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: in Philly, and I remember going. One of my friends 525 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: and this black older woman she were catching me and 526 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: my phone catching the bus, I think, and this older 527 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 1: black woman saw me, she said, you look cute, but 528 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 1: it's after labor day. You can't wear whit. I had 529 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 1: these white pants with this whole like shute little short top, 530 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: and I was just sat with me, sat with that. 531 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 1: I was just like it stuck with me. I was like, wait, 532 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 1: what can't we right after Labor Day? So I just 533 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: think this is one of those old myths that kind 534 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: of goes into what we just shared, like what you 535 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: can't w white? You can go white any time you 536 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,280 Speaker 1: want to ask Lisa ree okay, because she'd be wearing 537 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: her white. Okay. Fashion has no season when confidence, confidences 538 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 1: are accessory. So I want a white shirt. That's so funny. 539 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 2: Yes, you know when as you say that, I think about, like, yeah, 540 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 2: the rule used to be that I remember growing up 541 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 2: was it was between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Though, 542 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 2: that's the time when you were able to wear white 543 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 2: because that's signified summer. 544 00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 545 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 2: White was for the summer, particularly white shoes, white pants, 546 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 2: like white tops you could kind of get away with 547 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,799 Speaker 2: because you had your quote unquote winter white like which 548 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 2: really was like cream or ivory but whatever. Yeah, And 549 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 2: it was a huge thing. And the thing that I 550 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 2: think about now is that particularly when we had like 551 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 2: we're experiencing climate change and all of that. That like 552 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,919 Speaker 2: linen was supposed to be something that was also associated 553 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 2: with the summertime, right, and that you could only wear 554 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 2: linen during certain certain time period. Yeah, And it just 555 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 2: makes me think about the rules of fashion in general 556 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 2: and how times are changing and fashion is changing, and 557 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,759 Speaker 2: also it kind of depends on where you live, Like 558 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 2: living in California, I can wear I can wear boots 559 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 2: in June because some sometimes it's cold. 560 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: Enough in the South. 561 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:09,439 Speaker 2: Depending on the year, I might be in a tank 562 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 2: top on Christmas Day, right, yes, yes, And so like 563 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 2: the rules of fashion are not what they used to be, 564 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 2: and you could fight me on it, okay, period, because 565 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear that white all right. So then that 566 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 2: takes us to this next opinion. Every black woman has 567 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:40,800 Speaker 2: a favorite hood perfume that we would proudly where again 568 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 2: today in the year twenty twenty five, I'm talking about 569 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 2: old school Victoria's secret bathroom bodyworks, the street vendor, so 570 00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 2: love Spell, Sweet Pea, Egyptian Monks, and whatever concoction was 571 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 2: in those body oils, right, Okay, because listen, I was 572 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 2: a love Spell girly and I you know what I 573 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:18,359 Speaker 2: haven't smelled it in a long time. 574 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 1: Really, it smells so good. It was like a high 575 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 1: school smell for me. 576 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, so sweet love like yeah, love Spell was like 577 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:30,800 Speaker 2: high school college like ye. So, but I would venture 578 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 2: to say that, yes, I probably if I got my 579 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 2: hands on it, Yeah, I probably would wear it today. 580 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:42,160 Speaker 2: And chances are then greedyans in it is probably infusing 581 00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 2: some of the perfumes that I wear. 582 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: Now that's a good point, Domd. I think I actually 583 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: have some, or I have a scent as similar. So 584 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: when you come up and visit, I'm gonna spray it 585 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: less you smell it. But you're spot on with the 586 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: sense here. You know what else I thought about because 587 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 1: we were such a big bath and body Victoria's secret household, 588 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: and I feel like a lot of teen girls were 589 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: like us. All I smell in high school with love 590 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,919 Speaker 1: spoke down the hallway. Amber romance, That's what my mom loved. 591 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 1: Ambra romance. Your Ambra romance was so good. I loved 592 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 1: some What was that it was like a white musk, 593 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: this some type of white musk from one of them, 594 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: and it smells so good. And then also the oils, 595 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 1: like you said from fifty second Street is where I 596 00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: got mine in Philly, And you said, where'd you get 597 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: your zun? 598 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: Canal Street? 599 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,680 Speaker 1: Canal Street? The body oils. They was hitting, all right, y'all. 600 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 1: So yeah, we gotta wear our we gotta wear our 601 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: special sense, even if it's from the hood. It's all good, 602 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: all right. So the next one here is number thirteen. Okay, 603 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:42,959 Speaker 1: So number thirteen is R and B singers today don't 604 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: beg enough. Okay, we need some real nineties baby please energy, 605 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 1: that's what we need. I feel like they have some 606 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: some decent R and B artists today, but you have 607 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 1: to really search for them. I feel like we would 608 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 1: hear Oh my gosh, you know, I just had a 609 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,799 Speaker 1: flashback of one Wish ray J find in the rain. 610 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: That was my ship one wish? What Yeah, that was 611 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,680 Speaker 1: it right there? Mm hmm. R and B singers, yep, vulnerability, 612 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: the chest clutching, wasn't it? Ripping off white beaters? Right, 613 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: white tea? Or look it off? So listen all that I'm. 614 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 2: Here for like some boys to men, Yes, some babyface, 615 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, babyface, like babyface. I feel like defined 616 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,319 Speaker 2: nineties R and B like he wrote for so many, 617 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,640 Speaker 2: so many artists yes, give me some nineties, some good 618 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 2: old nineties R and B. 619 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: All right. 620 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,640 Speaker 2: So then this next one, social media did its thing, 621 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:57,399 Speaker 2: and some of our favorite celebrities like bow wow, They 622 00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,560 Speaker 2: were really like bow wow does that do? 623 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah? 624 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:08,200 Speaker 2: Before social media came in and took away all the mystery, 625 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,520 Speaker 2: Like social media came out, and now we got to 626 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 2: like we get to see too much, way too much, 627 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:20,200 Speaker 2: too much what I don't need to know. I don't 628 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:26,239 Speaker 2: want to know every detail of my favorite celebrities life. 629 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:27,439 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 630 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:33,680 Speaker 2: There are some things that need to remain a mystery. Yeah, 631 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,440 Speaker 2: so that I can continue to be attracted to you 632 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,360 Speaker 2: and your music or your work, whatever it is that 633 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 2: you're doing. Because when I know too much m m, 634 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 2: then I fall out of love with you and I 635 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 2: don't even want to like support your work. Yeah, I 636 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,240 Speaker 2: need I like the fantasy. 637 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, we need the mystique, Like, don't give us everything. 638 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 1: When you say that, I'm like, I don't even think 639 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,719 Speaker 1: I have a celebrity question anymore because I know I 640 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,640 Speaker 1: don't see too much. I know too damn much. I'm 641 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:08,240 Speaker 1: like cringe, Like was fine back in the day, Sweet lady, 642 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 1: sweet lazy lady, would you be mine, come on, Tyren 643 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:17,560 Speaker 1: on the bus like Tyree's just fine, and seeing him 644 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: on social media, I mean, God, bless God, bless him 645 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,800 Speaker 1: because I think Tyvey says had a lot going on. 646 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,080 Speaker 1: But like some of the images in the behavior on 647 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,360 Speaker 1: social media, I'm just like, okay, yeah, that that crushes 648 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: out the window. And then girl, Genuine, I hope they 649 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,400 Speaker 1: don't ever hear this. I would be so because Genuine 650 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,239 Speaker 1: was my childhood crush. I used to love him some 651 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 1: genuine and girl I went to go see him in 652 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 1: concert like years ago, not too long ago, but as 653 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,560 Speaker 1: an adult, and I cringed. I was like, this is 654 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,960 Speaker 1: not sexy, Like this is not cute to me anymore. 655 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:51,239 Speaker 1: And I was just like my childhood fantasy was ruin. Yeah. 656 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,919 Speaker 1: I get that they're human, Yes, they are. 657 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,160 Speaker 2: Just like they do all the same things that we do. Yes, 658 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,799 Speaker 2: But but I don't need to know that you do all. 659 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 1: I don't need to know it. I don't want to 660 00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:10,720 Speaker 1: see it. Okay, I don't see it. That's the unpopular opinion. 661 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,320 Speaker 1: All right, So this next one, lady, you maybe listen. 662 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,160 Speaker 1: We are all about love and good vibes. You really 663 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 1: don't want you might want to fight us on this 664 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 1: one or the next one here. Number fifteen is sugar 665 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:28,799 Speaker 1: goes in your oatmeal, not your grits, okay for real 666 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,320 Speaker 1: family on that one. Yeah, I know. People put it 667 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,560 Speaker 1: in spaghetti too. I'm supposed to. For my you don't. 668 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 1: You don't put it in spaghetti. No, when I make 669 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,440 Speaker 1: it at home, I don't. But I feel like at 670 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,279 Speaker 1: my grandmother's house they will put it in spaghetti like 671 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: a little dash, and I was fine with it, but 672 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,719 Speaker 1: I don't put it in there when I cook for 673 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,160 Speaker 1: my grits, I like it more savory. So I'm like salt, pepper, 674 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: some seasoning, some cheese, you know, crinkled bacon in there. 675 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 1: Like that's my vibe, nice and creamy. Yeah, so I'm not. 676 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,879 Speaker 2: That's how grits are supposed to be made. They're made 677 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,920 Speaker 2: to be savory. I'm sorry again, Fight me on it. 678 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,080 Speaker 2: Grits are supposed to be savory. If you're not, like 679 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,160 Speaker 2: you know, and if you want to level up your grits, 680 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 2: add some smoke gouda cheese to it, give it some 681 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:21,239 Speaker 2: extra flavor right now. No sugar though, absolutely not. That's 682 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,920 Speaker 2: what creama wheat is for. And I don't even get 683 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 2: that I can't do creama wheat, don't give it to me. 684 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:31,479 Speaker 2: Nois yeahd unpopular opinion over here, I'm not doing cream 685 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,799 Speaker 2: and wheat. I'm good. 686 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 1: I'm good on the sugar in my grits. I'm sorry, y'all, 687 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:36,000 Speaker 1: but I'm good on it. 688 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:44,720 Speaker 2: I can't do it all right, So our last unpopular opinion. 689 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:50,600 Speaker 2: Cleanliness is next to godliness before we visit our waxer 690 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:57,879 Speaker 2: or the doctor. Yeah, listen, please take care of your 691 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 2: hygiene before you go, oh and visit the doctor, right, 692 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:11,759 Speaker 2: also before you go to the waxer, Like, don't go 693 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,840 Speaker 2: to these appointments. And I understand that part of what 694 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 2: they're going to them for is for them to examine 695 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 2: you and to be all up in spaces that most 696 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:27,680 Speaker 2: people should not be in. Please take a shower or 697 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,359 Speaker 2: use something in a hygiene. 698 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,920 Speaker 1: Wipe, something something. 699 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:38,440 Speaker 2: To clean yourself before you're exposing yourself to your waxer 700 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,520 Speaker 2: or your doctor. And to add on to that kind 701 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 2: of separately, but still in the cleanliness next to godliness 702 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:52,680 Speaker 2: unpopular opinion. I do some cleaning before my housekeeper comes. 703 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,400 Speaker 1: That's just I just that is so funny, but I 704 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,840 Speaker 1: feel it one hundred. I feel like, let me just 705 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 1: tigy up a little bit so it's not too that's 706 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,160 Speaker 1: such a I feel like that's such a black woman thing. 707 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it's just grew how we grew up. 708 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm with you on that. But honestly, 709 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,040 Speaker 1: I feel like when I go to the doctor, dom 710 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,759 Speaker 1: you know, even if you're out and you're having a 711 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 1: busy day, I usually have wipes with me, so, like 712 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,759 Speaker 1: you said, I wipe. It's the bedet if you can. 713 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:21,640 Speaker 1: But I literally, I'm probably call me extra, but I'm 714 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 1: wearing mash and panties and bras like the doctor about 715 00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,120 Speaker 1: to get some. But just because I feel like, growing up, 716 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 1: we heard when you go to the doctor you dress 717 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,319 Speaker 1: a certain way. But my grandmother always used to say, 718 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,719 Speaker 1: make sure you wear clean undergarments because in case something 719 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,160 Speaker 1: happens when you're out and about, you don't want them cut. 720 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,160 Speaker 1: Was in a car accident when I was younger and 721 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,320 Speaker 1: they had to cut my shirt and everything was just exposed. 722 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,600 Speaker 1: You don't want to be in a situation where you're 723 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,399 Speaker 1: out here look at a certain way. But honestly, when 724 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,760 Speaker 1: you're in a traumatic situation, it's like you're an accident. 725 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,560 Speaker 1: You don't care about your underwear, you can, yeah, but 726 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,880 Speaker 1: I think that exactly. I think it's just one of 727 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 1: those old school things that stuck with me. So I'm 728 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,840 Speaker 1: definitely cleaning, getting everything trimmed, making it look good. And 729 00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,520 Speaker 1: that's just what we do. Yeah for going to the 730 00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,480 Speaker 1: doctors or the waxer, because you ain't about to be 731 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,840 Speaker 1: talking about me like y'all. She was up in here, funky, 732 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 1: she had dookie, stays at her jaws about to get 733 00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 1: We're about to clean. 734 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 2: Everything up everything. Yes, yes, all of the. 735 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:20,680 Speaker 1: Things must be cleaned. So lady sums up the unpopular 736 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,319 Speaker 1: opinions that we have. Let us know at her spase 737 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 1: podcast on Instagram. What would you add to the list, 738 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,160 Speaker 1: what you disagree with, what would you remove? Like, give 739 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,720 Speaker 1: us your feedback, let us know. I already know somebody's 740 00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:33,320 Speaker 1: gonna be like girls, sugar, sugar and grits. That's the 741 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,200 Speaker 1: one I think people are gonna say something about. And 742 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's the first one that comes to mind 743 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,960 Speaker 1: for me. Is there anyone in particularly down where you're 744 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,319 Speaker 1: like somebody going to say have something to say? Oh 745 00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:41,839 Speaker 1: about this one? 746 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,160 Speaker 2: Well, I'm sure they're gonna have something to say about it. 747 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:48,239 Speaker 2: A lot of them. Oh yeah, it's okay because, like 748 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 2: we said at the beginning, I'm gonna bring us back 749 00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 2: to our quote of the day for a gentle reminder. 750 00:45:54,360 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, we're right, but we'll discuss it anyway. 751 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,440 Speaker 1: You got to see Donald Space what she did that. 752 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: You have to go to our website, herspacepodcast dot com, 753 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,040 Speaker 1: click anywhere you see Patreons. You can watch the video 754 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,520 Speaker 1: episodes as well. We want you to see us, lady, okay, 755 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,120 Speaker 1: but dom yeah, you have to see the facial expression 756 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,200 Speaker 1: and the motion that she did as she was saying 757 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,360 Speaker 1: that we're going to go record the after show now, ladies, 758 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,520 Speaker 1: So we're going to go do that. You can catch 759 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,719 Speaker 1: the after show video episode as well on Patreon. So 760 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 1: come check us out and we'll see you next week, 761 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:30,360 Speaker 1: same time, same place. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or 762 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,640 Speaker 1: unsure of your next steps, this is for you. Hey, lady, 763 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,560 Speaker 1: is Tea here, and I just want to invite you 764 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,360 Speaker 1: to my free goal map, like a pro coaching workshop, 765 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,480 Speaker 1: where I'll share the five proven steps to get unstuck 766 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,400 Speaker 1: and achieve your goals. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all 767 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:50,680 Speaker 1: your ideas, juggling scattered ideas, or maybe you just need 768 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,560 Speaker 1: confidence to start. This workshop will give you the clarity, 769 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 1: tools and the motivation to take back control. Reserve your 770 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:02,239 Speaker 1: spot for free by visiting her podcast dot com and 771 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,600 Speaker 1: clicking on the goal map like a pro webinar link. Lady, 772 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,759 Speaker 1: don't miss this chance to build a roadmap that fits 773 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,160 Speaker 1: your life and set you up for success. I hope 774 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:10,719 Speaker 1: to see you there. 775 00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:17,239 Speaker 2: Thanks for tuning into Cultivating her Space. Remember that while 776 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 2: this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's 777 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:26,080 Speaker 2: not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you 778 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,240 Speaker 2: know need support, check out resources like Therapy for Black 779 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:34,880 Speaker 2: Girls for Psychology Today. If you love today's episode, do 780 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 2: us a favor and share it with a friend who 781 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:41,520 Speaker 2: needs some inspiration or leave us a quick five star review. 782 00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,160 Speaker 2: Your support means the world to us and helps keep 783 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,320 Speaker 2: this space thriving. 784 00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:51,640 Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me. I release 785 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:55,320 Speaker 1: the old with gratitude and prepare for the new with intention. 786 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,799 Speaker 1: Keep thriving, Lady, and tune in next Friday for more 787 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:04,560 Speaker 1: inspiration from Cultivating her Space. In the meantime, be sure 788 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:08,160 Speaker 1: to connect with us on Instagram at her space podcast