WEBVTT - Workplace Sexual Harassment 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:08.039 Alright, alright, alright, what's good? What's popping you already? Now 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.840 as usual, Welcome to my show. I am a made. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.840 Thank you so much for downloading and subscribing. Today we're 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:20.880 talking about harassment at the workplace. My guest, oh my god. 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:25.759 First of all, she's black, she's beautiful, she's a boss, 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:29.960 she is well educated, well spoken. I just love having 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:32.599 these type of guests because I feel like it's so 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.120 empowering when we see other women, um that are strong 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:40.440 and are empowering and educating and showing other women that 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:42.680 we can be brave, we can be strong, not to 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.360 be afraid. Today my guests wrote a book and it's 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:49.400 called Staying in the Game, the Playbook, the Playbook for 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:54.760 beating workplace sexual harassment. Welcome to the show, Adrian Lawrence, 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:58.240 my love, how are you. I'm doing pretty good. Thank 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:01.640 you so much for having me. Of course, most definitely, 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.160 first of all, I want to ask you what surely 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.720 inspired you to like not just go through the experience 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:11.520 and not be a victim per se, but be the 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.480 voice and and do a book where women can feel 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:16.840 inspired that and know that they're not by themselves in 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:22.319 these type of situations. Well, it's you know, being an attorney, 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:25.559 I knew the law in terms of sexual harassment, but 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:30.679 it's completely different when you're actually in those situations and circumstances. 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.679 So when I went looking for help after finding myself 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.880 in a workplace sexual harassment situation and I'm fearing losing 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:41.080 my job, and I go looking to books for answers, 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:46.480 all I was getting was essentially these memoirs from largely 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:48.640 white women who I couldn't relate to that we're just 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.640 telling me their story, and then legal books. And so 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.040 I wanted a book out there that would actually tell 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:58.320 me what to do practically, what can I do to 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:02.480 keep my job, kind of serve my income, my economic independence, 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:06.160 and fight back against this. And so I ended up 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.359 having to go out and write the book myself. This 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:11.200 is so crazy because I feel like I personally have 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:14.560 experienced it. Um. Like I said, I know many many 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:17.680 women that have. But why do you feel that women 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:22.240 are so afraid to be open and express and say 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:25.160 this is really what's happening in my job or in 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:28.560 my environment, whatever the case may be. In part because 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:32.000 our society often will punish you for it. Uh, you know, 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:34.400 as we women often still get the well, what were 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.640 you wearing? What did you do? As opposed to that 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.799 person is in the wrong and you deserve better, And 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:44.200 so our society is still evolving to not do this 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:47.480 whole You're lucky to be here to women in the workplace, 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.840 and so until a lot of women realize that, they're 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.280 not going to speak out because we've internalized a lot 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.800 of that oppression ourselves. But I think when you're a boss, 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.480 you're a strong woman. You worked for what you've got, 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.440 You've on to school, you've done everything you needed to do. 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.160 The last thing you want to be is in a 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.720 situation where somebody's going to try to take that away 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:10.160 from you simply because you're unwilling to, you know, play 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:13.280 the sexual prize for them. Have you also heard this 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:16.160 coming from the queer community or have you heard any 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.600 cases which makes me, you know, curious when it comes 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:23.560 to men as well, Yeah, big time. Um. In my 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.640 book Staying in a Game, I address a lot of 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.000 issues that impact the l g B, t q I 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.600 plus community, uh, in part because when we look at 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:36.000 what sexual grassment is, it's really about subjugation. It's about 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.960 the fact that you don't adhere to traditional gender norms, roles, 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:44.000 and so the l g LGBTQ community, queer community tends 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:46.840 to find themselves the most at the receiving end. Also 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:51.480 because like a lot of racial minorities, UH, individuals of 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:56.040 the queer community are essentially considered marginalized. So that will 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.480 make you essentially put you in a position where people 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:01.600 will see you as an easy target. And also the 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.480 aspect of that of being hyper sexualized. There are so 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.800 many dynamics in our society that make it so that 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:11.520 people are ultimately pushed out of the workplace or they're 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.920 put in situations in which they have to make these 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:19.599 difficult decisions between their economic independence and essentially their dignity, 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.360 and that's not all right. Oh my god, I just 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:25.240 loved I just love hearing your voice. First of all, like, 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:27.880 not for nothing, can you guys go to my YouTube 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.120 channel exactly a Mata and check her out. She is 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:32.800 so beautiful and I just love the way that she 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.480 talks and she makes me feel so confident, Like I 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:36.760 feel like if I were to be going into a 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:39.280 situation right now and I haven't even read the book yet, 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.120 I really need a copy right now because it's important 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:44.040 for me to be educated, so like this, I can 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:47.200 help out other fellow females that are in the workplace 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.200 that need of my assistance. UM So, guys, most definitely 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:52.400 go check out go check out her book because there 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.680 you can really get the whole four War one. So 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.160 here's another thing too write, Like, I feel like employees 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:01.520 don't know the difference you know between the sexual harassment, 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.000 like like, oh, it's just a joke, you know, when 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:06.080 they're trying to make them jokes that and you don't 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:08.800 know the difference. You don't have to laugh or feel 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:11.080 like did you just try me right now? How do 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.200 you know the difference? When do you know how to 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:17.320 stop it? How do you stop it without feeling like damn, 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.320 I shouldn't have said that that was too much, because 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:21.280 you do, even if you're at your workplace or even 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.560 if it's your boss, you need to have boundaries and 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.040 let them know. Listen, I came here to work, I 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:27.560 came here to get my you know, do what I 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.520 gotta do, and here's my boundary them type of jokes. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:34.440 That's what that's what we ain't gone stip. So how 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:37.960 do we know the difference between a joke and sexual harassment? 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:40.680 All right? So I like to say, there ain't no 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.920 jokes when it comes to my oppression or subjugation. Like 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:46.040 that might be a giggle for you, but it don't 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.480 work for me. And so when it's a problem, you 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.640 trust your instincts. How do you feel you have to 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.040 listen to that still small voice inside. If it makes 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.040 you uncomfortable, even for a hot minute, you got a problem. 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.200 And the important part is you need to a bit 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:03.680 in the bud immediately, because what that person is doing, 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:06.200 is you've noted, is they're testing your boundaries. They're pushing 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:08.640 you a little further, They're seeing how far can I get. 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:11.400 Because the thing that a lot of people forget is 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.080 that workplace sexual harassment all that is is like gender 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:18.200 traditional role based bullying. The person is essentially saying, in 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.280 some way, you don't adhere to the traditional gender roles 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.480 or norms, and so what I'm gonna do is try 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:27.360 to put you in your place, try to get you 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.400 to play small. And so that's what that person is doing. 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:33.120 They're feeding a little bit off of you feeling uncomfortable. 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:35.880 And so the moment you feel uncomfortable, that is when 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:37.800 you nip it in the bud. That's when you say 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.800 what's up, because otherwise the person will continue to do 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:42.960 it and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse. 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:45.240 It is not a one off, It is a behavior. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:55.120 I think that sometimes a lot of women and a 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:57.320 lot of men can be confused and not necessarily know 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:02.000 exactly what sexual harassment is and just uh automatically assumed 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:05.320 the sexual harassment is just a physical action, like, oh, 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:09.840 they touched my butt, sexual harassment. Verbally their sexual harassment 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.640 as well. Can you give us a couple of examples 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:18.200 of what is considered sexual harassment? Al right, so you're 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.640 absolutely right. Sexual harassment. You know, it's what they call 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.760 a misnomer. It really kind of misleads you because most 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:26.000 people think it has to involve something sexual. That is 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:29.760 not the case. It takes on a wide variety of 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:35.480 different non sexual forms like hostile behavior, physical assaults, patronizing you, 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:39.280 denying you information and access to its, sabotaging your work. 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:43.720 Why the real kind of thing behind sexual harassment is 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:47.280 the motive. What is the channels this person is using. 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:51.480 And for example, there are three types of sexual harassment, 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:56.120 gender harassment, unwanted sexual attention, and sexual coersion. Gender harassment 0:07:56.240 --> 0:08:00.360 that's like sexist remarks, behavior, gender based bullying. Those are 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.920 like you know, putting a porn in the office, having 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:07.880 conversations about someone's you know, never region, teasing and those 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.600 quote unquote jokes. And then that unwanted sexual attention that's 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:18.200 that inappropriate, offensive sexual advances, sexual assaults, touching email, suggestive, uh, 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:21.520 like coming on to you physically. And then that sexual 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.960 coercion that's that you know, kind of forcing someone to say, hey, 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:26.440 if you want to keep your job, you know, maybe 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:29.160 you'll give me a little ahead, or pressuring somebody for favors. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:31.760 And so the thing is a lot of people think 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:34.679 it has to involve sex. It doesn't necessarily need to 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:40.080 involve something sexual. Someone may mistreat you and it's gender based, 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.400 and it's because as a woman, maybe you're a little 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.760 too assertive or a little too independent, little too confident. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.960 That would technically be considered sexual harassment. Because it's sex 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:53.080 based harassment. You're being mistreated because maybe you don't confirm 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:56.880 conform to those traditional gender roles. So we got to 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:58.920 keep this in mind because so many people think they've 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.920 never experienced work play sexual harassment. And let me tell you, 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:05.640 as long as someone is threatened by your very existence 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.240 or how you run your game. You've been at the 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.520 receiving end of it, or for some reason, maybe you 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.839 don't fit those traditional gender roles. You're a dude out 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:15.080 there who has a kid and goes on fraternity leave, 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:18.480 and the buddies in the workplace, you know, decided to yuck, yuck, 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:22.280 yuck and give you heat for it. That is sexual harassment. 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.320 You've got to know that these things are so much broader, 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.599 not only because it impacts your legal rights in the 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:30.839 event that you end up having to leave that workplace, 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.199 but also because you need to know how to combat it. 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.199 That is so crazy. See, that's what I'm saying. A 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:41.480 lot of people are just misinformed and don't know, like um, 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.599 and then they're also afraid because I know in a 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.839 lot of situations, I know a lot of people that 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.160 are financially let's say they work for a big corporation 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.160 or whatever, and they're like, yeah, I've been sexually assaulted 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:55.320 or I've been sexually harassed by my boss or whatever, 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:57.920 but I financially don't have you know, I don't have 0:09:58.000 --> 0:09:59.679 the money to get an atorney to fight this big 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.480 core operration. Or this person. You know, I might as 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.040 well just stay quiet and not say anything, because what 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:07.240 am I going to do in those cases? If you're 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:12.480 financially um not necessarily prepared to get an attorney to 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:15.760 fight for you, what should you do? How should you 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.920 go about it? All? Right? So that's also in part 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:21.199 why I wrote my book because being an attorney, I 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.280 can tell you essentially how to build your case and 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.760 make your case, because the last thing you want is 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:29.000 when you finally decide to stand up sue where you 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:32.079 want to do something about it. You didn't preserve any evidence, 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.520 You have no documents, it's completely in the territory if 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.160 he said, she said, So, my book tells you exactly 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:39.839 what you need to do leading up so that you 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.440 can get an attorney, because a lot of attorneys work 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:44.679 on contingency fees, so that means you don't got to 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.280 pay them nothing. They're just gonna take maybe a third 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:51.559 of whatever your recovery is. But you are best positioned 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:53.920 to show up to an attorney if you are prepared, 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:56.600 because again, you don't want to be in that he said, 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.200 she said, territory. Where did you have it against them? 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.959 How does it happened? Because a lot of times is that, 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.000 he says, she say, or I'm gonna say it on 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:05.559 the low ecod of my office real quick. You know 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.640 what I'm saying, boom, whatever the case may be. And 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.840 then how do you say unless you have a phone 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.120 and you're recording. But then I've heard a lot of 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.120 times because this is all this all comes out of 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:18.080 ignorance because we don't we don't know. Um, you know, Oh, 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.439 you can't use the recording because that person didn't know 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.920 that you were recording them or whatever. There's no cameras. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:27.000 How do I prove that you harassed me if nobody 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:29.240 else is willing to testify or say anything at the 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:31.880 workplace because anybody trying to cast that heat. Um, And 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:35.000 then you just feel like you're left alone. Yeah, girl, 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:36.800 that is why I wrote my book, because I got 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:38.640 all the tricks of the trade and all the ways 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:40.280 in which you can do it to remove it from that, 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.320 he said, She said, territory. There are ways to work 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:46.240 around it so that you are air tight. So if 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:49.079 you've got to come back in a year, two years, 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.559 whatever months, or even ten years, as we've seen a 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.760 lot in this me Too movement, you will have documentation 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.360 that's that really supports it substantiate what you are saying. 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.040 And there are ways in which, uh, these people out 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:03.679 here who are harassed, I call them harass holes. When 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.360 these harass holes come at you, there are ways in 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:10.240 which you can get it documented. Uh. And my my 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.760 thickest chapter in here, and the book isn't that long 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:15.240 at all, and I keep it very you know, easy 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:18.679 to understand and read. My biggest chapter is called Keeping Receipts, 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:22.160 because that's what it's about, keeping them receipts, and how 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:25.640 you can create receipts so you don't end up in 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.520 that he said, she said, territory. It's all about knowing 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.319 how to be prepared. And something I'll also mentioned on 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.800 this where people might think that, um, oh, well, because 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.000 most people are kind of it's an arrogance. They think, oh, 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.280 I'm not gonna be sexually harass believing you are. But 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:43.199 also the great part about my book is that you 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:47.280 can use any of these tactics and techniques, uh to 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:49.880 address any kind of bias. If you're in the workplace 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:52.880 and someone's acting racist or whatnot, you know how to 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.520 keep receipts. Now, so that now I have a strong 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.079 case in the event that I have to leave, because 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.400 you have so many more options of of than just 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:04.839 suing like that, most people don't sue. What you can do, though, 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:07.439 is get a lawyer and maybe you get a real 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.760 good severance. You got a great review leaving, so they 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:12.599 can't be out there slanner and your good name and 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.199 all your hard work. Maybe how many people out there? 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:17.079 How many people is out there trying to get a 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:19.520 review as the people are here first of all the pandemic, 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:21.520 the people is out here trying to get these coins, 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:23.559 So like you, nobody's try to be like, oh, you 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.000 know what, I want to leave because you said you 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:27.319 harazing whatever. Just give me a good review. No, no, no, no, 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.640 give me a review and give me them coins. Yea, yeah, 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:33.280 but you don't want people out in the streets saying 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:34.959 bad things about you, So if you get kind of 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:36.960 that agreement in there so that they can't ruin your 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:38.800 future when you're going to other jobs. But oh yeah, 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.520 I get the coins to without a doubt. But having 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.600 somebody who can negotiate and you can get a good 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:46.719 severance walk away that that's where it's at. But it 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.520 all will depend on what do you have to offer 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.880 because your word against their word, it ain't gonna hold up. 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:56.560 So you have to be prepared to run. And also 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.439 something that I think is really smart that my books 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:03.880 teaches you as well, because men of color generally are 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:07.319 accused of sexual harassment at higher rates, because men of 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:11.440 color are generally subject to hyper sexualization and stereotypes associated 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.839 with uh sexual harassment. And thus when you suffer false 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:20.840 accusations that are based on essentially racist notions, you got 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:23.600 to be prepared as well. And so my book tells 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.000 you how to be prepared so that you don't end 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.760 up in a situation where maybe you get fired because 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.560 you know, some some woman thought you were looking at 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:35.080 her the wrong way, and then you have no recourse whatsoever, 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.440 and that's following you the rest of your career. You 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:43.800 have to be prepared, especially minorities, Lain Morena. You know 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:48.360 my black people, my Latino people, in indigenous people, all 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.560 my minorities, not for nothing. Let me tell you something. 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:53.560 Stop thinking this is a joke. And this goes for 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.880 women as well. Let me tell you something, especially now 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.120 that we're in where everybody's out about my bag. This 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:03.280 is that whatever with all due respect, peace, and love 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.560 to the universe. But we still live in a world 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.760 where race is still an issue. Right, So, if you 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:12.400 have a boss that is Caucasian, for example, and you 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:16.120 are black, dark skin, and you see them looking at 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:18.720 you some type of way, or you already know the 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.840 intention because you'll be knowing a lot of times we 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:23.640 know what they're trying to do. You know when they're 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.800 looking at you, but you're trying to act like, don't 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.240 play with it. Do not play with it, because you 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.200 don't know how that story can end. It could be 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.200 a very it could be a love fairy tale where 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.520 you guys, oh, the employee and the boss ended up 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:40.400 together and they live the happy ever. Okay, great, but 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.240 the possibilities that's gonna happen. It ain't gonna happen all 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.720 the time. And if you go out there and let's 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.960 say you decide to date your boss, you decide today 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.480 whoever it is that you know was flirting with you 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:53.480 at your workplace or whatever, and things don't work out, 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.920 things can go south real quick. You end up in 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.400 a space where now you feel they used me. No, 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:03.440 they didn't necessarily used you. You chose to participate. Now 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:05.920 you feel used or now you feel abused, or now 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:09.440 you feel whatever type of way, just business and pleasure. 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.600 I'm not a fan of mixing it. I don't think 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.360 that you should. And that goes for everybody, especially we're 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:19.080 all grown, we're adults. For those that are, you know better. 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.120 Now here's something else that I do want to know. 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.560 So for those that still may not get it, when 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.920 you say harassment at the workplace, what about if the 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:33.280 harassment is happening outside of workplace, Like let's say you know, 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.400 this is my coworker or whatever, we see each other 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.720 outside in the supermarket, any other place. Do they can 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.520 they still? Um? How does that work? Because I know 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.080 that's like a very thin line, like we work together, 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:49.280 but the harassment didn't necessarily happen at the workplace. Does 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.840 that still count? Okay? So what we want to do 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:57.840 is separate legal conversation from kind of just behavioral sociological conversation. 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.360 And so when we look just at sociology, yeah, workplace 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:05.160 sexual harassment, that largely means that somebody in your professional world, 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:10.200 who you know professionally is essentially trying to make you 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:15.480 play small, minimizing you using gender traditional roles, sex based 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.320 something of that nature. And so even if maybe you're 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:20.919 out and you run into a mentor and that mentor 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.640 decides to, you know, give you a breast exam, that's 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:27.120 still workplace sexual harassment. Yeah, because sometimes I've I've thought 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.040 of those things has happened to me, like for example, 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.399 or I don't know, I've been at a show or 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:33.680 a concert or whatever and they've tried to holler at me, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.320 you know, popular words out here. Um. But then we 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.760 see each other somewhere else is not necessarily in that 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.840 work space, and you're still harassing me. So I don't 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.680 know if to consider this at the workplace. It's not 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:47.840 at the workplace, but we work together, how does this work? Like, Yeah, 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.359 you don't just think of it if you've got a 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.160 professional relationship, because it's just like one of my colleagues 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.160 hit me up through a Twitter, d M and coming 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.760 on to me there. It's still the same because you know, 0:17:57.960 --> 0:17:59.920 especially now when you really think about it, because they're 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:03.159 are no real boundaries. Were not in traditional workspaces and 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.760 offices and cubicles anymore. We are everywhere. We're virtual. So 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:09.439 we have to expand that definition and realize that if 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.720 you are in my professional sphere, and you maybe you 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:16.400 are putting me down because I don't adhere to traditional 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.680 gender norms, or you're trying to holla, then yeah, we 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:30.240 got a problem. Hey, that's such a bad point that 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.119 you gave right now. I hadn't even thought about that, 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.520 But that's so true now with everything that has happened, 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:37.879 everybody's working from home. Um, you know, things have changed, 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.920 but social media and these d M s and these 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:45.800 emails and snapchats and all these fake accounts, that still counts. Guys, 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:49.400 don't don't don't leave that out. That still counts as harassment. 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:51.720 If they're slighting up in your d M, sending you 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.280 freaky pictures, are asking for stuff or talking to you 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:58.040 in some type of way, that still counts. Um, well, 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.200 is there anything else that you feel that people really 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:02.480 need to know that I may be missing out because 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.879 this conversation can go on and on. I mean, I 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:06.840 have so many questions, so many things in my mind. 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:08.800 But what are some of the top three things that 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.879 you feel that people really need to know about harassment? 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:15.480 When people need to know that it's not about sex, 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:18.520 it's not about sex. Drive you can get sex anywhere nowadays, 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:21.639 you can get your sexual gratification on it has nothing 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:24.119 to do with that. This is about power. This is 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:28.840 about preserving traditional gender roles, about preserving that sense of 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:32.600 power structure, male dominance. Who gets to call the shots, 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.520 limit the opportunities for others. This is a form of bullying. 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:38.000 And you know, because when we really think about it, 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:40.680 the fact is that your position in the workforce and 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:44.000 what you do that will impact your economic power, and 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:47.840 the more economic power you have it bolsters you in society, 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.879 more things you can do. And the fact is that 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.200 men have been the ones with the vast majority of 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:56.120 economic power because they've been in the workforce, and thus 0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:59.040 they could control our destinies. And so you have a 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.199 lot of men out there or who will sexually harass 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:03.960 women to push them out of the workforce sexually or 0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.400 ass other men who don't fit that traditional gender role 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.840 of what men traditionally should be. And they're doing that 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:13.960 because they're trying to reinforce this traditional power structure that's 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:18.080 kept men in power, and they cannot risk having essentially 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:22.639 other men out there with just more equitable mindsets and 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:25.960 who are treating all women fairly and actually you know, 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:29.000 just doing right. And also the second thing I think 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.879 people need to bear in mind is that, Um, you 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:36.880 know they know that. When I say they, I mean sociologist, scientists, 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:40.040 people who study this know how to end sexual harassment 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:43.600 your employer, your workplace. People know how to end it, 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.840 how to prevent it. It's completely preventable. The fact is 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:50.560 that they're not doing anything maybe to fight it, because hey, 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.400