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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have.

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Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 2: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: Living paycheck to paycheck nearly broke me and my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: last night.

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Speaker 1: Time to break up with that dusty dude. Honestly, yes,

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Speaker 1: time to break up with him.

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Speaker 2: Last night, Me and my boyfriend just laid their starving

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Speaker 2: and meditating and complaining to each other until my check

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Speaker 2: hit around one thirty am and we rush the taco

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Speaker 2: bell to finally eat something. We live paycheck to paycheck.

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Speaker 2: We both get paid on the same week instead of

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Speaker 2: alternating weeks, so when we run out of money, we

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Speaker 2: run out completely and then we both get both of

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Speaker 2: our paychecks. I get mine on Thursday and he gets

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Speaker 2: his on Fridays. By the way, this comes from Squiggy

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Speaker 2: Squiggly and if you run SMIng old stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay story. I'm Subreddit, I'm Riley.

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Speaker 3: I'm Patty, I'm Carly, and today we have a very

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Speaker 3: special gues Please welcome Patti Aside, a keynote speaker, author

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Speaker 3: and content creator living in Los Angeles, California, best known

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Speaker 3: for her TikTok channel Duchess of Decorum, where she teaches

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Speaker 3: financial literacy, social and workplace decorum along with a focus

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Speaker 3: on empowering women. For the last twenty years, she's had

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Speaker 3: a multifaceted career as a lawyer and manager in financial services,

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Speaker 3: and currently stands as director of Mergers and Acquisitions Lending.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for coming in today, Thank you for having

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Speaker 1: me so excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: Oh and by the way, we're here to give good advice, goofully.

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Speaker 2: We do have an expert here, so we can give

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Speaker 2: some advice correctly. If you guys have anything you would

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Speaker 2: like to add, please add of the comments down below.

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Speaker 2: So far in this story before we get into the

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Speaker 2: meat of it, what are like some key things you

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Speaker 2: see that you may want to change or do you

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Speaker 2: need more context?

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Speaker 1: No, I mean some of the key things I think

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Speaker 1: that I see is two people that aren't helping each

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Speaker 1: other become better. It's two people that are just accepting

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Speaker 1: a situation yeah, and not be like okay, well, how

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Speaker 1: can we come up with a solution, Like you're starving.

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Speaker 1: You're meditating. No, you should be looking for ways to

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Speaker 1: improve your income. Yeah, right, instead of meditating, think about

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Speaker 1: proactive ways where you can get another job.

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Speaker 2: Right, Start a small business.

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Speaker 1: Start a small business, do something so you don't live

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Speaker 1: paycheck to paycheck. And it seems like they're pretty content

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Speaker 1: living paycheck to paycheck.

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Speaker 2: They were meditating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, dude, you can manifest all you want,

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Speaker 1: but you got to go out there. You got to

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Speaker 1: make stuff happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, yeah. Op, he continues, Well, anyways, we had

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Speaker 2: a couple of emergencies come up this pay cycle, and

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Speaker 2: we ran out of money and food. Completely spent the

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Speaker 2: little last bit of money we had a few days

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Speaker 2: ago on a bag of cat food and cat litter,

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Speaker 2: because kitty always comes first. We fasted all day yesterday

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Speaker 2: together because we literally had nothing in the house and

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Speaker 2: zero dollars to our name. My check usually posts overnight

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Speaker 2: every other Wednesday, so we were sitting there last night

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Speaker 2: refreshing the app constantly like lunatics, just waiting for it

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Speaker 2: to post. When it finally did around one thirty am,

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Speaker 2: we hopped up, ran a taco bell. What an amazing feeling.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I love Taco Bell. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: the protein b yes that I love the protein bow

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Speaker 1: because both you and I love protein, right do we do? Yes? Yes?

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Speaker 1: But I will eat anything in Taco Bell. That's the

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Speaker 1: only fast food I eat. So I got a different

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Speaker 1: props for going to Taco Bell. That would be the

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Speaker 1: first thing that I would do. But really, what they

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Speaker 1: need to figure out is where their money is going.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're.

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Speaker 1: Living paycheck to paycheck, that means that you're not budgeting

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Speaker 1: your money the way you're supposed to be budgeting. So

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Speaker 1: what they need to do is they need to get

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Speaker 1: on an app. They have so many free apps out there.

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Speaker 1: For example, you can even get on rocket Money.

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Speaker 2: That was let's say that's yeah, when I think of it.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually on rockup money.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yes, And so you basically put in all your expenses

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Speaker 1: and it gives you a budget. You can actually put

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Speaker 1: together a budget, so you're not living paycheck to paycheck

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Speaker 1: and you see where all your money's going. I guarantee

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Speaker 1: you they're blowing money on shit that they don't need.

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Speaker 2: What's like a most common thing people blow money on?

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Speaker 2: Is it fast food?

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Speaker 1: Coffee? That daily coffee?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, oh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, please coffee cup back there.

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Speaker 1: Exactly how much did that cost you?

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Speaker 3: Oh, this one was probably like four bucks. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: so let me say get like eight bucks sometimes, right, So.

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Speaker 1: Okay, here's the stat The average Americans spend seven dollars

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Speaker 1: a day on coffee seven so yeah, oh exactly. So

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Speaker 1: let's put this in perspective if you were to invest

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Speaker 1: that money. Let me tell you, if you were to

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Speaker 1: invest that money every single day instead of buying coffee,

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Speaker 1: and you're in your twenties, by the time you retire,

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Speaker 1: you will have one point five million dollars just from

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Speaker 1: that seven dollars a day. People think, oh, seven dollars,

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Speaker 1: This coffee is not why I'm struggling. No, the coffee

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Speaker 1: is why you're struggling.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Yes, people don't even put in perspective like that.

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Speaker 2: Two hundred and ten dollars a month.

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Speaker 1: Yes, oh, if you were to invest that, you'd actually

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Speaker 1: have more than one and a half million, almost two

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Speaker 1: million dollars at the time of retirement.

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Speaker 2: Interest. Yeah, so we never eat out and just cook

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Speaker 2: at home to save money. So it was a little

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Speaker 2: nice treat to be able to get taco bell last night.

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Speaker 2: It was an experience for sure. You know, I'll always

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Speaker 2: remember sitting up all night starving with my babe after

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Speaker 2: we both hadn't eaten in over twenty four hours, treating

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Speaker 2: it like a spiritual fast or something like that. Hahaha.

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Speaker 2: Just funny to me, even though the reality of it

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Speaker 2: all is just so awful. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Speaker 2: We have some comments here. The thing that's sticking out

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Speaker 2: to me. This may be controversial to my pet lovers,

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Speaker 2: but if you have a cat, right and you can't

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Speaker 2: afford to feed yourself, I don't though kitties should come first.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I mean, I know people like their pets

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Speaker 1: are their children, right, but you have to take care

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Speaker 1: of yourself first. Just like an airplane, you got to

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Speaker 1: put the mask on yourself first before your children. You

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Speaker 1: have to take care of yourself first. And if you

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Speaker 1: can't literally afford to eat, you don't need a cat. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that cat can go to a friend's house somewhere, you

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Speaker 1: know where it's safe, where they love cats, right. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying, you know, kick it out, just temporary,

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Speaker 1: imporarily while you get back on your feed, because you

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Speaker 1: clearly need that money to feed yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we have some comments, all right.

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Speaker 2: Comment number one, you might want to start going to

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Speaker 2: food banks to get nutritious food for you and your boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Food banks exist exactly for people. Thank you and your boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: You shouldn't go hungry at any point. We have a

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Speaker 2: website that says, just type in your zip code and

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Speaker 2: it will bring up all the food banks and food

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Speaker 2: pantries in your area. Shown are there operating hours and days,

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Speaker 2: address and phone numbers, also their website if applicable. A reply.

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Speaker 2: I agree with this, but OP may also want to

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Speaker 2: check with churches because of a lot of them have

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Speaker 2: food pantries or sidewalk pantries or even just serve meals

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Speaker 2: sometimes like on weekends. Also, I would try to stock

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Speaker 2: up on dried beans or lentils and rice because they're

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Speaker 2: cheap and can be used like this an emergency for

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Speaker 2: u OP. That's a good point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that those are great points, and those options are

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Speaker 1: out there, but those are just band aids on a

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Speaker 1: bigger problem. The bigger problem is that you can't afford

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Speaker 1: to live. Yeah, that's the bigger problem.

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Speaker 2: If it's coming to this every other week, right exactly,

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Speaker 2: And you're and you're just waiting for the money to

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Speaker 2: come in.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I agree, that's the bigger issue.

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Speaker 2: Uh coming Nunder two says I remember being really poor

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Speaker 2: with my first living boyfriend. We didn't try that, lol.

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Speaker 2: We had a group of friends in the same boat,

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Speaker 2: so we had dinners where everyone brought one ingredient like

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Speaker 2: I brought macarny. Another person brought tomatoes. We got lucky

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Speaker 2: and one of them brought a small pack of hamburger

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Speaker 2: and we spread the wealth. Lol. Commenty three says, as

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Speaker 2: awful as that must have been, is also wonderful you

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Speaker 2: guys have each other and didn't get upset with one another.

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Speaker 2: Poor finances often break couples and even marriages. The fact

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Speaker 2: that you guys stood together while starving and it didn't

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Speaker 2: end up in a fight is amazing. Hopefully things get

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Speaker 2: better for you guys. Wishing you guys luck and someone replies,

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Speaker 2: you're good, it's the truth. Fifteen years ago, my ex

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Speaker 2: boyfriend was rich seven million dollars rich, which I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: He let me starve and didn't ask his parents or

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Speaker 2: grandfather for help or money. I would have paid his

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Speaker 2: grandfather back. He mooched off me and my mom. We

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Speaker 2: were so poor. When his mother found out, she was

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Speaker 2: so ashamed. And we have another update. So that was

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Speaker 2: just like a separate story way right right, yeah, which, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I remember you telling me a crazy story which we'll

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Speaker 2: get to after this one about like was it like

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Speaker 2: a millionaire couple that had to like downgrade into like

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Speaker 2: a single studio apartment.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes they did. Yeah, you let me know. I'm

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Speaker 1: ready to go with that story.

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Speaker 2: That'll be good. So we have the update here. I

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Speaker 2: really like your perspective of we shouldn't just put a

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Speaker 2: band aid on this right, really look into things, and

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Speaker 2: you would you would say finding another job is what

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Speaker 2: they should prioritize.

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Speaker 1: Well, first they need to figure out where their money's going.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so first figure out where.

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Speaker 1: Your money's going. Right, are you paying too much for rent?

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Speaker 1: Where is that money going? And if you literally are

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Speaker 1: not going out to eat, if you're not buying coffee

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Speaker 1: every day, if you're not blowing it, and you'll be

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Speaker 1: able to tell after you get on a budget. You

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Speaker 1: need to get a side hustle, let me tell you, Riley.

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Speaker 1: And people think that there's some shame in the game

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Speaker 1: of getting side hustles. And there isn't. I I was

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Speaker 1: a prosecutor in Chicago. I was making thirty thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: a year, oh wow. And I was working as a

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Speaker 1: waitress at night to be able to afford to live. Right,

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Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, I was an attorney, I had

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Speaker 1: passed the bar, and I was still having a side hustle.

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Speaker 1: I literally had two jobs until I was thirty. When

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Speaker 1: I was in law school, I had three jobs and

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Speaker 1: going to law school full time.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes those side hustles are fun too. You find weird

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Speaker 3: things on the way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I had. I had two waitressing jobs and I

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Speaker 1: was a clerk at a law firm. So I was

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Speaker 1: working three jobs and I was going to law school

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Speaker 1: full time. And so that's what I had to do

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Speaker 1: in order to live. So I think, you know, it

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Speaker 1: is nice that finances isn't breaking them up, but they

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Speaker 1: can only last like that for a certain amount of time.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you be starving and meditating together. It's not it.

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Speaker 1: That's not a long term plan.

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Speaker 2: Because what I see as becoming an adult, it's like

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Speaker 2: one year you have like set finances and you're good,

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Speaker 2: because it's like, Okay, I have to pay for medical utilities, rent,

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Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. And it feels like the next

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Speaker 2: year there's like a few more things aided up, yes,

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Speaker 2: and then a few more things out up and it

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Speaker 2: just right, it never stops.

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Speaker 1: It's not a long term plan. And you know, I write,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna plug my book, Never Data Broke Dude. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's called never a Data Broke Dude, the Financial Freedom Playbook. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and it's not just about not dating broke men. It's

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Speaker 1: and a broke dude is really anybody man, man or

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Speaker 1: woman who doesn't meet your ambition, your drive, your commitment, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you're out there hustling and he or she sitting

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Speaker 1: on the sofa eating cheetos all day. Yeah, that's what

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Speaker 1: you don't want to do. And that's what I talk

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Speaker 1: about in the book as far as like, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: cute the short term plans, but you really need to

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Speaker 1: long term plan as you get older, especially.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like you don't want someone with a broke men.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's about a mindset, that's exactly it. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: love that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So we have an update one month and eleven

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Speaker 2: days later. Okay, I'm not sure if anyone will even

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Speaker 2: remember this. We do, but it posted not too long ago,

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Speaker 2: and it got pretty popular about me staying up all

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Speaker 2: night long waiting on mine and my boyfriend's check to

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Speaker 2: post so we could go get some food. I was

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Speaker 2: so happy to just be with him, even though we

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Speaker 2: were super poor and things were extremely hard. I was

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Speaker 2: proud of what little we had when he left me

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Speaker 2: with everything and went back home, left me with our cats,

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Speaker 2: all the bills, the apartment, everything, because it was too

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Speaker 2: difficult and he was too stressed. Out sold you, he

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Speaker 2: hold you. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: He was not a long term plan. I told you.

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Speaker 1: It eventually breaks up the.

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Speaker 2: Relationship, and that was only like after a month.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, she was a fool. She was a fool

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Speaker 1: because she had on these love goggles, thinking that love

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Speaker 1: conquers all, and it doesn't. M hmmm does not.

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Speaker 2: I gave everything I had for this to work out,

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Speaker 2: and now I'm left with a disaster. I don't have

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Speaker 2: parents that will just let me move back home and

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Speaker 2: stay with them because the world is too difficult. I

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Speaker 2: guess what I'm asking is what should I even do?

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Speaker 2: How do I get back on my feet? I can't

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Speaker 2: afford my apartment by myself. He left so suddenly, like

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Speaker 2: as soon as my check ran out, he was gone.

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Speaker 2: I don't even have groceries here for myself. I'm so stupid.

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Speaker 2: I'm almost out of cat food. How could he do

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Speaker 2: this to the cats? Even I loved him so much

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Speaker 2: and I gave him everything. I'm blindsided? What do I

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Speaker 2: do with my apartment my cats? Should I just tell

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Speaker 2: the apartment complex what happened? I don't have a dad,

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Speaker 2: and my mom is remarried, living happily, so I can't

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Speaker 2: ask these things to my parents. Sorry to then, I

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Speaker 2: guess I cry for help. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: I've never been to the situation before. Thank you for reading.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're here now, you're here now, and sorry

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Speaker 1: that happened. Yeah, I really, really, truly sorry that happened.

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Speaker 1: First thing you need to do is figure out where

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Speaker 1: your cats are going. Yeah, you got to get rid

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Speaker 1: of the cats. I'm sorry. I know it's like your child.

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Speaker 1: You got to get rid of the cats. Next, you

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Speaker 1: got to figure out if you can get out of

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Speaker 1: your lease. Oh really, yes, So you can talk to

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Speaker 1: the apartment complex people, the landlord and say, hey, this

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Speaker 1: is my situation. See if they will let you out

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Speaker 1: of the lease, And a lot of times they do.

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Speaker 1: That's what they ask because they can probably lease that apartment,

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Speaker 1: depending depending on where you are, for a higher rate

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Speaker 1: than your current lease. So sometimes they will let you out, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if they don't let you out out of the lease.

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Speaker 1: See if they allow sublets.

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Speaker 2: What's the sublet?

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Speaker 1: That means that somebody will come and rent that apartment.

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Speaker 1: You still are on the lease, but then you're renting

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Speaker 1: that apartment to somebody else. That's called the sublet.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So like if I leave my apartment, I can

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Speaker 2: have someone sublet exactly, and I don't even have to

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Speaker 2: live there anymore, right, exactly.

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Speaker 1: See if your landlord allows sublets, if they do, fantastic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If not, then you need to put an add on

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Speaker 1: social media that you need a roommate. Yeah, and you

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Speaker 1: need to start another job immediately, whether it's driving for

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Speaker 1: Uber Eats delivery. I mean, this day and time, there

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Speaker 1: is no reason why you can't have another side hustle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just with your phone.

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Speaker 1: You can sit at home and do data entry and

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Speaker 1: make more money.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, data entry, that's a good one too.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, you consider at home, do data entry. That's your

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Speaker 1: side hustle. You don't even have to leave your couch.

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Speaker 2: What would you recommend for her? Would you say, look

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Speaker 2: up Uber eats or data entry or just go on

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Speaker 2: Uber eats tonight, look up data entry on the side.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, go to uber eats tonight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's so easy to sign up, right, you can start

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Speaker 1: driving probably tomorrow the next day. Yeah, it's literally that fast. Wow,

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Speaker 1: So go do that. But in the process, if you

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Speaker 1: don't want to do that long term, which a lot

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Speaker 1: of people make lots of money doing Uber eats, believe

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Speaker 1: it or not, Yes, yes, yes, and or even just

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Speaker 1: driving for Uber. I had this guy pick me up

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Speaker 1: once in an Uber because a Mercedes and I was like, Bob,

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Speaker 1: you know you're driving Uber. He's like, I make more

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Speaker 1: money driving Uber than I did in my tech job.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: So he was making over one hundred and twenty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: A year here in La Yes, wow.

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Speaker 1: One hundred and twenty thousand. Now he was an amazing driver.

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Speaker 1: His car was always nice, you know, all that stuff matters, right.

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Speaker 1: It was presentable, he was presentable, he dressed nice, he

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Speaker 1: looked nice. His car didn't smell like weed, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it was he was top notch,

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Speaker 1: but he was making one hundred and twenty thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: a year and he's like, I quit my my tech job.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Chad. Have you guys ever like worked uber eats?

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Speaker 2: What is that experience for you? Guys? Would love to know. There,

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Speaker 2: we'll see. We have a comment where Ope replies to

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Speaker 2: this person, So comment one. If you want to keep

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Speaker 2: the apartment, first, get a roommate, like you said, maybe

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Speaker 2: find someone in a similar bad position. Help each other.

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Speaker 2: This sucks. I'm sorry about that bum like behavior from

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Speaker 2: your ex. But you can do this. You can, and

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Speaker 2: Hope he says, thank you so much for your support.

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Speaker 2: I will try to find a roommate as fast as

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Speaker 2: possible because I cannot lose my cat. I just cannot.

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Speaker 2: I love them so much. It isn't their fault.

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Speaker 1: I'm still not rolling with that.

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Speaker 2: No, we have an update twenty days later. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: figure out what to do with the apartment, yeah or no? No,

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Speaker 2: find a job immediately, yes, apartment?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Cats?

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Speaker 1: Cats?

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Speaker 2: And then what about like long term, like you know,

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Speaker 2: three months out? What should we be looking to do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well she needs to again. She needs to figure

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Speaker 1: out what her budget is. She needs to get on

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Speaker 1: a budget and figure out exactly how much money she's lacking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And also, see, it's not just how much money you

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Speaker 1: need in order to survive today. You need to start

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Speaker 1: investing that money for your future. People don't think through this, okay,

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Speaker 1: So people just think, Okay, I need let's say three

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars a month to live. If I make three

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars a month, great, No that's not it. You

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Speaker 1: got to figure out what you're gonna do for your future,

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Speaker 1: and you need to start investing, even if it's five dollars,

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Speaker 1: even if it's ten dollars a month, Yes, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: You just start investing. Little by little, compound interest will

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Speaker 1: build up to where you have money to retire on.

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Speaker 2: So let's say my expences are three thousand a month.

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Speaker 2: I make thirty five hundred a month, and sometimes you

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Speaker 2: know it goes up to my expence to go up

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Speaker 2: to like thirty two, maybe like thirty three. Should I

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Speaker 2: look for a side hustle or should I like look

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Speaker 2: at spending less money and investing more.

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Speaker 1: You need to spend less money and invest more. The

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Speaker 1: only way you're going to have money left over is

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Speaker 1: if you spend less or make more.

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Speaker 2: Gotcha, that's it.

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Speaker 1: Those are only two ways. You either got to spend

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Speaker 1: less money right to have extra money, or you have

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Speaker 1: to make more money to have extra money.

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Speaker 2: And it's easier to spend less money.

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Speaker 1: For most people. Yeah, I would think most people, but

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Speaker 1: some people you know, like the coffees every day, so like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and like so in that instance, you got to make

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Speaker 1: more money.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so we have their update. Okay, twenty six days later,

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Speaker 2: I did find a girl that is going to be

400
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Speaker 2: moving in at the end of the month. Fantastic Halloween.

401
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Speaker 2: We can actually Okay, so I'm going to be able

402
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Speaker 2: to keep my apartment and me and my cats will

403
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Speaker 2: be able to stay here. It's been a very hard

404
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Speaker 2: few weeks for me. I only had to pay the

405
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Speaker 2: rent once by myself a few days ago, which took

406
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Speaker 2: basically the entirety of my check. It literally all went

407
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Speaker 2: to rent for this month. So I don't even know

408
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Speaker 2: what I'm going to do right now. Yes, my ex

409
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,239
Speaker 2: boyfriend definitely tried to come back, like last week, and

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Speaker 2: it was extremely difficult for me to say no, because,

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Speaker 2: like I said, I just put everything I had to rent,

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Speaker 2: and I know it would have been a little easier

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Speaker 2: for me to be with him there helping, but I

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Speaker 2: said no, and I didn't let him come back.

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Speaker 1: Like amazing, amazing, Yes, yeah, good, that is amazing.

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Speaker 2: That's hard because, like your first love, I know you

417
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Speaker 2: want to Everything will work out. I know we'll do

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Speaker 2: it right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I know love conquers all. We're in love. He

420
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Speaker 1: made a mistake. No, he didn't make a mistake stuff

421
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: like that. That's not a mistake. Yeah, yes, that is

422
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 1: a character flaw, because a mistake is Oh I wasn't

423
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Speaker 1: thinking I made a little tiny mistake here, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but to leave you by yourself. You couldn't even afford

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Speaker 1: the apartment with him, yeah, you were starving with him there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: For him not to even think, oh my god, what

428
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Speaker 1: just the humanity of it. It doesn't even have humanity

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Speaker 1: for him to be like, yeah, I don't care if

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Speaker 1: you're going to starve more. I don't care what happens

431
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 1: with your apartment. I'm just thinking about myself. That is

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Speaker 1: a character flawed. That will not change.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Katie, has a question, what about for

434
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,120
Speaker 2: those of us that can't work and are solely on

435
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 2: SS and disability, how do we save money?

436
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 1: All right, Katie, this is the perfect question because I

437
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 1: give this question a lot. Like we just mentioned, Yes,

438
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: you could literally sit on your sofa or in a

439
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,679
Speaker 1: chair and do data entry for additional money. Yeah, that

440
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 1: could be your side hustle. There are a lot of

441
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: people that are on disability that can't do a lot

442
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 1: of work and that's what they do.

443
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there's a lot of like remote jobs.

444
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: People, absolutely remote jobs. Absolutely that again that does need

445
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: you to do physical activity.

446
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 2: Okay, that's good to know. That's a good good question

447
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 2: or a good good thing. All right. So he really

448
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 2: couldn't believe that, and it was a whole thing, a

449
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,120
Speaker 2: lot of screaming and tears, saying how I was going

450
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 2: to lose everything without his help and maybe, but so

451
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 2: at least I'm not doing life anymore with someone that

452
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 2: is going to randomly up and leave while I'm at

453
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 2: work because they're so stressed financially.

454
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 1: Yes.

455
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 2: He then started to try and take my cats and

456
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 2: saying things like I wouldn't be able to take care

457
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 2: of them by myself.

458
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 3: This is crazy for him to be like, you wouldn't

459
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 3: make it without me when it's like that you.

460
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: Just loved left us alone. Yes, that is the playbook. Yeah,

461
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 1: that is the freaking playbook of a manipulator and a

462
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 1: gas slider. Mmmm that you can't do it without me

463
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 1: and you need me because he's tried everything. He's already cried,

464
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 1: he's already begged, he's already done all that stuff. That's

465
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 1: not gonna work. Okay, so what do I do now?

466
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 1: Let me manipulate her. Yeah, And that's exactly what he's doing.

467
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: And that's sort of the pattern. Yes, absolutely, do they

468
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: do any do they try anything else?

469
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: Or like, well, you know again? And then and then

470
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 1: when the manipulation doesn't work, then it goes back to sadness.

471
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 2: Please take me, and then the cycle goes again.

472
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: The cycle. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, this guy's manipulating her

473
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: and is a narcissist and really and he's what I

474
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: call a broke ass dusty dude. That's what he is.

475
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 1: He's a broke ass dusty dude.

476
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

477
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

478
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 2: In the end, he left without being able to come back.

479
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 2: And I did not allow him to take my cats,

480
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: all right, Yes, I think he was just trying to

481
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 2: hurt me, Like I genuinely believe he thought he would

482
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: be able to abandon me in that sty and go

483
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 2: take a break and come back like nothing happened. A

484
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: few people said that would happen, and y'all were right.

485
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 2: I've been an absolute wreck since it all happened. But

486
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 2: my cats are safe here with me. Like I said,

487
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 2: I have a girl moving in Halloween weekend and I

488
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 2: am hoping that everything works out okay here for me. Financially,

489
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 2: I do not have a good job and work full time,

490
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 2: so I'm hoping and praying that once she moves in

491
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 2: and starts paying half of everything that I'll be okay.

492
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 2: Just have to survive until my next check, which is

493
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 2: almost two weeks away. So I'm stressed, But like I said,

494
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 2: my cats are safe and I'll be able to keep

495
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:11,719
Speaker 2: my apartment.

496
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: Can I just can I just make a comment about

497
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: she said, I'm hoping hope is not a strategy.

498
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: Why not?

499
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 1: Because hope is not going to get you anywhere. You

500
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 1: need action, right. A lot of people say, well, I'm

501
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: hoping this will happen. I'm hoping that will happen. No,

502
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: you need to start taking action. That's what I just

503
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: want to say.

504
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 2: Are you I'm sensing that you're not really getting a

505
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 2: lot of seeing a lot of initiative right exactly.

506
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm hoping this will happen.

507
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 2: I know.

508
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 1: I don't want you to hope and I do it.

509
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying it out of love. I want you to

510
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: start taking action.

511
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 2: You know.

512
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: It's great that you meditate, but you need action on

513
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: top of that.

514
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: How many people have you worked with that have the

515
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 2: hope mentality and it works out?

516
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: Zero?

517
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 2: And what about the other way?

518
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 1: I would say, if they listen to me, one, Yeah,

519
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: if they listen to what I'm telling them to do,

520
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: it always works out. Because I I've been that broke person.

521
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I wasn't always financially responsible. When I was

522
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: thirty five years old, I had one hundred and ninety

523
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: thousand dollars in debt. Oh yeah, because I had student loans.

524
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god, one hundred and ninety thousand dollars in debt. Yes,

525
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: I had no savings, I had no emergency fund. I

526
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 1: was living paycheck to paycheck, Oh my god.

527
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 2: Yes.

528
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: Within five years, I bought a place, I paid off

529
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: all my debt. I had investment. I had savings within

530
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: five years. And that's because I realized that hope is

531
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: not a strategy and I need to get my act together,

532
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: no joke.

533
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 2: I'm speechless. Yeah, just in five years.

534
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: In five years, I cut out all the shit I

535
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: didn't need. I cut out all the stuff that I

536
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: was spending money on that I didn't need. I only

537
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 1: spent money on just necessary items to live. That's all

538
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: I did for five years. That's all I did. I

539
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 1: went on a payment plan. I put together a budget.

540
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 1: How long is it going to take me to pay

541
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 1: this off? I put away money. Everything went into those

542
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: accounts directly from my paycheck. Yeah, so I wouldn't just

543
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: spend it. And within five years I was so financially secure.

544
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's incredible living testimony right here.

545
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna finish the story, all right. I

546
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 2: don't even know how I'm going to do it. I

547
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 2: just know I have to. I'm very scared to have

548
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: a roommate. Is you don't want to have any advice

549
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 2: on anything I should do before she gets here, or

550
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: should I have rules? Like I'm so stressed out about

551
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 2: having a stranger in my house. Can someone please tell

552
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,439
Speaker 2: me your roommate experiences? One question? Am I allowed to

553
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 2: go back to the food bank place a second time?

554
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 2: Or is it just a one time help? I did

555
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 2: find one through a church here in town and was

556
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 2: able to receive a couple of weeks ago. But like

557
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 2: I said, I just basically put everything into rent last week.

558
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 2: So am I allowed to go with second time? I

559
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 2: hope everyone's doing good. I'm sorry things are so hard

560
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: for us all right now. Thank you for following things

561
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 2: and caring for me. And that's the end of the story.

562
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 2: Do you have any advice on the roommate thing.

563
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 1: Or like, yeah, anytime that you have someone that's going

564
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: to be in your space, you guys need to get

565
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 1: together and you need to set boundaries for the both

566
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 1: of you, not just her alone. So you need to

567
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: have a meeting and say these are my boundaries, These

568
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: are the things that are non negotiables for me. What

569
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: are non negotiables for you? And see if you can

570
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: come to an agreement with those things, because like, for example,

571
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: some person's non negotiable could be I cannot have anything

572
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: in the sink that drives me nuts.

573
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I have I have a roommate. That's

574
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: that's a that's a Mormon, okay, because he soaks his dishes.

575
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:39,479
Speaker 1: Right, he's not. Actually, yeah, so that's what I'm saying. So,

576
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, people have weird idiosyncrasies, and I say weird.

577
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,880
Speaker 1: I have weird ones too, you know, like I'm very OCD.

578
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 1: But you really need to express what the boundaries are,

579
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: what the non negotiables are, and then come to an

580
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: agreement that Okay, I'm not going to do this, you

581
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: don't do this. This is my trigger, this is your trigger,

582
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: and this is the way that we can live together peacefully.

583
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,959
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I wish I had that with my room.

584
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 2: Like I feel like the hard thing about moving in

585
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: with your friend is you're good. You know how to

586
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 2: like interact, but sometimes.

587
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: It feels weird, right, So I'd be like, oh, you're

588
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: being a dick. Yeah, if it just feels weird saying

589
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 1: stuff like.

590
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 2: That, I'll say something like, hey, I like I sent

591
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 2: them a picture a while ago of the tupperware and

592
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 2: you saw it, you'd scream. You'd be like, oh my gosh,

593
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 2: I cannot believe he organized it that way. But I

594
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: asked him like, hey, could you do it didn't go

595
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 2: to reply, got to reply on someone else because, like

596
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 2: I know, you don't want to because without that first conversation,

597
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 2: I don't want to be a parent or like feel

598
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 2: like any.

599
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: But that's why you still it's never too late to

600
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: have that conversation.

601
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 2: Really, yo, been living together for oh my gosh, five

602
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 2: six months now, I think.

603
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 3: It's still never too late.

604
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: Riley, Okay, okay, So that's what you do? You say, Hey, listen,

605
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: we've been living together for five or six months. It's

606
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: been great love living with you. You're my friend. We have

607
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,959
Speaker 1: a great time. It's amazing. I think it's important for

608
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: us to sit down and really talk about what you want,

609
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: what would make you happy, as far as me being

610
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: your roommate and vice versa, so that we can continue

611
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: to live together happily and continue to be friends and

612
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: nothing affects our friendship happening.

613
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: Just to check in, Yeah, can I call him? And

614
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: could you? Oh man, we're gonna get some Q and

615
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: a's here, all right, But I see some questions, Uh,

616
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 2: Jamie says, if you want to scroll up just a touch.

617
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 2: I struggle with money at the moment, but I have

618
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: been managing to make things work to make sure my dog,

619
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,479
Speaker 2: Maverick and I both eat. It's hard, but it's doable

620
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: and things get better. Yeah, Maverick so loves to watch

621
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: Okay storytime, I'm a favor.

622
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 3: Out next to next to you though, really apparently, Maverick

623
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 3: responds to me.

624
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: I thought it was like me and then Dakota.

625
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 3: I think I passed Dakota last week.

626
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 2: That's you, Jamie. Let me know. Carol Love says, the

627
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 2: only thing I ever did right with my finances when

628
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 2: young was swiftly paying off student loans. Yes, and taking

629
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 2: out the minimum loans I needed. School was so much

630
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: more affordable in the nineteen nineties.

631
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: Yes, and you know what, I actually have a course

632
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: about that, really, Yeah, on my website specifically for student loans. Yes,

633
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: specifically for student loans, where I talk about how to

634
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: make sure you're only taking out what you need, the strategies,

635
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: how to make sure that you're you're getting the right

636
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: types of loans. So I talk about that and that's

637
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: really important. That was very smart of her.

638
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't. I don't have to pay

639
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 2: that much in stone loans. But I think I also

640
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 2: saw something like since like Elon Musk came into like

641
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: the thing and messed around with some stuff like I

642
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,959
Speaker 2: could get everything expedited. I don't know.

643
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: I don't know about that. But the secrets of student

644
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: loans actually is to start paying them off before you graduate.

645
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 2: Really.

646
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, even if it's like one hundred dollars, even if

647
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: it's like fifty dollars, it does start making small little

648
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: payments while you're in school. And I'm telling you that

649
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: will make such a big difference once you get out,

650
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,959
Speaker 1: because your student loans, the interest is building up, everything

651
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: building up, right, So if you're paying fifty to one

652
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: hundred dollars here and there, you're actually paying down that

653
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: interest while you're paying down the debt.

654
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: You like putting a down pain.

655
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, No, it's secret.

656
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: All right, we have a question from one of our fans.

657
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 2: All right, anonymous sender says CODR I, thirty female, left

658
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 2: my job in order to take care of my infant.

659
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: I couldn't take a part time job due to not

660
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: having a computer for remote jobs and developing panic attacks

661
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: from driving after I gave birth. Now I can't get

662
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 2: a job because my partner is leaving months on end

663
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 2: this whole year and I have no family to support

664
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: me at all. I'm financially dependent on him, but I

665
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 2: don't know how much longer I can stay with him.

666
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: I don't feel supported with the baby or with my

667
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: ppd PPA. I feel belittled for not doing more. But

668
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: I'm scared to leave because I'm not in a position

669
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 2: to be a single mother with no degree to support

670
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: myself and a baby. Question is what can I do

671
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 2: to get an emergency fund? What should I do if

672
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: I need to use that emergency fund?

673
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: Yes, so this is one thing that I talk about

674
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: all the time, is the importance of financial independence for women. Yes,

675
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,479
Speaker 1: it's this story right here. Is that you think that

676
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: everything's great, I'm just going to stay home, I'm going

677
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: to take care of the kid, right, and everything is

678
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: going to be wonderful. But what you're giving up is

679
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 1: power and control over yourself, wow, and over your own destiny.

680
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: Because in a relationship, women are more vulnerable because they're

681
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: the maternal figure, because like, if they have kids, they're

682
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 2: the one that's like.

683
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: Well, that's the expectation. That's the problem. Is the expectation

684
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: is that the woman is going to be the one

685
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: that's going to take care of the kid. Yeah, okay,

686
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: and that's that. I understand that. That's okay if you

687
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: don't have help, if if you know, if you have

688
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: no other choices, I understand that. But a woman can

689
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: I curse on this podcast.

690
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 2: Go for it, Okay, it's members only.

691
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, fantastic, fantastic. A woman should always have few money, yeah, always.

692
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 2: Yes.

693
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 1: A woman should always have a bank account where she

694
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: has enough money to be able to pay for an apartment,

695
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: pay for her phone, pay for her car, and pay

696
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 1: for herself and her children for three to six months.

697
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: That's what every woman needs. She needs to figure out

698
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: how to do that. If again, if it's having to

699
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: do something while your baby is sleeping, you do data entry,

700
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: you do whatever you need to do, remote work. You

701
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: do that until you have enough money to be able

702
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: to leave. Yeah, because until then, you're always stuck.

703
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 2: And it's sort of this. It's not going to be forever.

704
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 2: It's a temporary problem solving, right, so you can like

705
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 2: live an actually respectable.

706
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: Life exactly to be able to support yourself and really

707
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: think while you're in a home with somebody that you

708
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: don't want to be in, like you're not thinking straight, right,

709
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: So you really need to remove yourself from the situation

710
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: and be in a place where you can support yourself

711
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: and then find a job.

712
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 2: Lovely Fawn says, what do you recommend when having to

713
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 2: pay for unexpected costs like car or home repairs, putting

714
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: on credit cards or taking a personal loan out?

715
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: This is why I say everyone should have an emergency fund. Yeah,

716
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: three to six months worth of living expenses for emergencies

717
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: like that. Got okay, Now if you don't have that,

718
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: I understand, But are you going to do it on

719
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: credit card or personal loan? Depends on which one has

720
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: the lowest interest rate. Okay, So if you can get

721
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: a personal loan that has the lower interest rate, that's

722
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: what you do.

723
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 2: What's a good interest rate?

724
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: It depends on what type of loan you're getting Right now.

725
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: On credit cards, you're at least I would say fifteen

726
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: to eighteen percent on credit cards at least at least, yes,

727
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: And in order to get a personal loan for less

728
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: than that, your credit has to be stellar, your income

729
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: has to be stellar. They will give you a loan

730
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: where you don't need one, literally, that's what it is.

731
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: But her getting a personal loan will probably be just

732
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 1: as expensive, but she should shop around. Yeah, go on

733
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: the internet, shop around, see if there are other loans available.

734
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: There may be some loans just for cars that you

735
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: can get for car repairs or home repairs. But long

736
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 1: term you need to build an emergency fund.

737
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: That's good to know. Yeah, seeing here, all right, we

738
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 2: have another fan question for that is John og Host.

739
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

740
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 2: three minute break of ads from our sponsors. Anonymous Center says, Okay,

741
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: So my aunt has recently informed me that my uncle

742
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: is going to have a talk with me, both of

743
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 2: my sisters and youngest sister boyfriend about our long term

744
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 2: plans to finding our own place because older sister and

745
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 2: I have been there for a few months now. My

746
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: older sister completely reliant on them with no car while

747
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: working two jobs. I'm still paying on the car I

748
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 2: live in, and my youngest sister is about to have

749
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 2: a baby, So I get the concern. I just got

750
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: back into a teaching job after getting more stable and

751
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 2: recovering from flu and strap. I've come with three different

752
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 2: financial routes and prioritize them based on affordability, sustainability, and accessibility.

753
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: Right now, Plan A is a camper and a mobile

754
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: home park. I want to present all of the plans

755
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: to him without looking like that red stream meme with

756
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 2: its always sunny guy.

757
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 3: What's the one where he looks really overwhelmed by the

758
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: board behind him and he's like connecting all the dogs.

759
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:19,959
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh oh, Okay it's a crime board. But yes, okay,

760
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: got it.

761
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 2: But I always need my uncle to understand that teaching

762
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 2: of all sorts is heavily underpaid, and the grocery app

763
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: pays even less. How can I manage this without making

764
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 2: it seem like I'm just making excuses for not having

765
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 2: any progress thus far, or that I am trying to

766
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 2: give an explanation for future failure. Ps. I have cats

767
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: that stay with my aunt and cannot simply just go

768
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 2: to a shelter because I have to be able to

769
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 2: take care of them every day. Also, sorry for the

770
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 2: long context. I was also wondering if you had any

771
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: tips for me and or my sisters to gain our

772
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 2: financial independence.

773
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: So here we go with the cats again. You can't

774
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: afford to live, but you can afford to have cats.

775
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: What's a good rule of thumb for pets?

776
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 1: Well, first, you have to be able to feed yourself. One, Yeah,

777
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: pay your rent. You have to be able to meet

778
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 1: your minimum expenses before you bring on a pet of

779
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:24,240
Speaker 1: any kind. Okay of any kind. So here her pet is.

780
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: She's not only paying for stuff for her pet. But

781
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 1: she can't move to a shelter because she.

782
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 2: Has pets she has to take care of.

783
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: She has to take care of them. At some point,

784
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: people need to grow up and understand that you need

785
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: to make choices that are financially responsible. And she's not

786
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: making a financially responsible choice. It hurts. It hurts to

787
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: give up your cat. I get it, but it doesn't

788
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: matter because you have to be financially responsible.

789
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 2: So whenever you were like about two hundred thousand dollars

790
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 2: in yet it took you five years, five years to

791
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 2: really turn your life around. And how's life for you

792
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: right now?

793
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: Fantastic? I am a millionaire now wow, yeah, congratulations, thank you.

794
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 2: And it just took like those five years of going

795
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: through that path and really just put your head down

796
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:10,439
Speaker 2: to just.

797
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: It was hell. It was five years of hell. I

798
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: am telling you, wasn't easy. Yeah, you know, I wasn't

799
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: going out to eat, I wasn't going to concerts. I

800
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: wasn't traveling. I wasn't you know, I wasn't doing any

801
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 1: of that. But it's because I had lived a life

802
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: being financially irresponsible all before then. So guess what, you

803
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: got to suck it up. And after five years, I

804
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: was right on the path of financial freedom. Then I

805
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: started to make more money. I started to get better

806
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: jobs because I understood how the workplace worked. I understood

807
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:41,399
Speaker 1: all of that and got I got to a point

808
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 1: where I'm a millionaire.

809
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 2: Now, what what kind of mindset do you see with

810
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: a lot of people that like keep them stuck in

811
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: this like band aid situation.

812
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:55,959
Speaker 1: I would say the victim mentality, okay, that somebody's doing

813
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: it to them. It's the man, or it's my parents

814
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 1: not giving me enough money, or oh my god, the

815
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: economy is so bad. Oh you know, no one can

816
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: afford to buy a house, no one, you know, I

817
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: hear that a lot. I'm on social media, right, so

818
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: I get a lot of gen Z people complaining that

819
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: I can't afford to buy a house. Well, yeah, not

820
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. You can afford to buy a house

821
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:15,720
Speaker 1: in Kansas.

822
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

823
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: When I was their age, I'm fifty four, Okay, so

824
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: when I was their age in my twenties, I couldn't

825
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: afford to buy a house. They think that when when

826
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 1: we were in our twenties and I'm jen X that oh, yeah,

827
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: I could buy a house on my income. No, I couldn't.

828
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 2: You couldn't, No, of course not.

829
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 3: No.

830
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: I was living in Chicago. That's why I was living

831
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: in an apartment, and I was working as a waitress

832
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: at night, and I still couldn't afford to buy a house.

833
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: You have to build up to that you have. Your

834
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 1: career is going to build up. That's why you need

835
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: to work hard. That's why you need to put in

836
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: more than what's expected of you. You're I mean, I'm

837
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: assuming you're making more money than you first started. Yes, correct, Okay, then.

838
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it took a lot of hard work.

839
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: Correct. No one's going to give it to you. It's

840
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 1: going to take hard work, go to take dedication. You

841
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: will eventually get there. But I think the younger generation

842
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: is so immediate gratification that you want it now.

843
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is tough because I don't know, like have

844
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 2: an Amazon like right there, I can write, oh, like

845
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: I just got a grill I spent Oh my god,

846
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: I probably spent one hundred and forty dollars on things

847
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: for the grill, right, not even on the grill. Right.

848
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: My roommate brought the grill and it was like fifty bucks. Yeah,

849
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 2: I had to get the tank the thing. And it's

850
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 2: so tempting because of that app Just it's so easy.

851
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: I know, it's really easy, and it's even easy for me.

852
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,839
Speaker 1: I mean, let me tell you I have and I'm

853
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 1: not bragging. I say, it's not bragging if you can

854
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: do it. I have enough money to where I don't

855
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: ever need to look at my bank account.

856
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 2: That's nice.

857
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, but I'm still on a budget. Yeah, I'm

858
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,720
Speaker 1: still I look at rock and money every single day. Wow,

859
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: where my money is going? Where I can cut down

860
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: what I need to be doing. Everyone's like, well, what's

861
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: the point of having a lot of money? Well, the

862
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: point is that I'm always going to have a lot

863
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: of money. I've had friends that have been in my

864
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 1: position that don't have anything. Now wow, yeah, just I

865
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: was telling you the story, remember, because people don't understand

866
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: how to manage their money.

867
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 3: Uh.

868
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: Speaking of that story here, let me let me think

869
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 2: of a hook to get into that. What is like

870
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: what's the most shocking thing you've heard while working with someone.

871
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: The most shocking thing I have heard is this woman. Okay,

872
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 1: so she was a medical student. Okay, she wanted to

873
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: go to med school. Yes, and she during her medical

874
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: school tour, Yeah, she saw this doctor, nice, good looking

875
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: doctor rich. She was a surgeon.

876
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 2: Right, everybody wants a doctor.

877
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: Everybody want especially if I'm Iranian, and if you're a

878
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,720
Speaker 1: Persian like doctors like god lovel Okay, I swear, I swear.

879
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: I don't know why my culture is like that, but

880
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: it is. So. He was a doctor. He was so

881
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: good looking, he was handsome, he was rich. I'm talking

882
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: you know, the Lamborghini, the Ferrari, that whole thing.

883
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

884
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: He convinced her to not go to medical school marry him.

885
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: Twelve carrot ring he gave her. I mean this thing

886
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:01,280
Speaker 1: was like this, It was like this yeah, literally, okay,

887
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,919
Speaker 1: it was huge. She gave her a twelve carrot ring.

888
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: They were living in an estate in Beverly Hills estate.

889
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: I mean I looked at their lives. I was like,

890
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: oh my god, I want to be that. Wow, that's

891
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: that's like she had living's Like yeah, I mean she

892
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: was living the life.

893
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 2: She was probably living right next to the Kardashians.

894
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean just you know, like like that level. Okay,

895
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: So one day her housekeeper was called and sick. She

896
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: never answers her door ever, because she's got somebody answered

897
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,879
Speaker 1: the door. Yeah, doorbell rings. She answers the door and

898
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: it's a guy. You've been served. She's like, what are

899
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: you talking about? So yeah, So she gets an envelope

900
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: and it's got it's from She opens it up as

901
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: court filings against her and her husband. Yeah, for what.

902
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: She doesn't know what it is. She's like what. And

903
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: it was for not making payments on their home. She's like,

904
00:40:56,239 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Like the yeah, million dollars

905
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: that their home was a twenty million dollar home. Twenty

906
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: million dollar home. So she never goes in his office

907
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: because that's just she's like, I know, there's no reason

908
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: for me to go. She goes in his office and

909
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: she starts looking around.

910
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 4: Lawsuits like this, yes, this like for their house, for

911
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 4: their car, for the he had taken out three mortgages

912
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 4: on the house to be able to support their lifestyle.

913
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:33,919
Speaker 1: Oh, they had no money. They were broke a.

914
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 2: F oh my, yes, and her bubbles just like.

915
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: Burst burst, like what and he had he hadn't been

916
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: telling her because he just wanted He kept trying to

917
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 1: like and she was. She was like, why is he

918
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,399
Speaker 1: working so much? You know, why is he working more?

919
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: And he just kept trying to get out of debt.

920
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,280
Speaker 1: But it was impossible because he was making a lot less.

921
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: I mean, he had no business buying her a twelve

922
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: care ring. He had no business having a Ferrari. He

923
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: had no business having yeah too, we had like a

924
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: Lamborghinia Ferrari, like he had no business doing that. But

925
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 1: he was living beyond his knees and he continued to

926
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: do that. So after she found out, she didn't leave him.

927
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I know she didn't leave him. They the

928
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: house sold in auction because he had so many lawsuits

929
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: against him. No real hospital would hire him because, yeah,

930
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: if you have financial problems, hospitals and financial institutions, they

931
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: do not hire you.

932
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 2: Really, yes, even though you could be like the best

933
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: doctor out.

934
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't matter what because they're afraid that someone

935
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: can pay you off to do something that you're desperate

936
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: for money.

937
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 2: Interesting, I never thought of it, yea, that's why.

938
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: So what ended up happening is he started to the

939
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: only place you could work was at these like emergency clinics.

940
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

941
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, he started working at the emergency clinics. Their house

942
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: was in foreclosure, they had two kids. They moved into

943
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 1: a two bedroom apartment I'm sorry, two bedrooms in the valley.

944
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: They went from. Not that there's anything wrong with the valley.

945
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: I'm just saying they went from Beverly Hills, okay, but

946
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 1: like deep in the valley. Oh okay, not Studio City,

947
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: notman Oaks, no, like Chatsworths. So and they still live there.

948
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 2: Now, Wow, how long ago was that?

949
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,959
Speaker 1: That was two and a half years ago. And they're

950
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: never going to get back on their feet, never go

951
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 1: there will They will never get back because he is

952
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 1: never going to ever be able to get a job

953
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 1: that is going to give him a successful income. Yeah.

954
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 1: So she went back to work. So she's she's now

955
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: an executive assistant. And she could have gone to medical school,

956
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: she could have been a doctor. She could have, you know,

957
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 1: been able to contribute to this lifestyle. Maybe if she

958
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 1: was making an income, they wouldn't have gotten to where

959
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: they are. But this is just the point of people

960
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: living beyond their means.

961
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a crazy story. Yeah, so what would you

962
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: if someone's like, you know, I'm thinking about getting married

963
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 2: like five years from now, Maybe what is something I

964
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 2: should prepare myself for to like have a suitable life

965
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: with my partner? You mean financially financially and like what

966
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 2: are I guess, like what kind of conversations do I

967
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 2: need to have with her? This is leading up for that.

968
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: This is really important. And you need to have the

969
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: pre wedding talk with your significant other.

970
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 2: Like now or like three years before when.

971
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,240
Speaker 1: Okay, when you think that you're going to be serious

972
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: with someone, h this is when you need to sit

973
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 1: down and you need to have a conversation with them. Okay.

974
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: And I'm a contributor to Forbes. If you go on Forbes,

975
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: I had I wrote an article the seven questions you

976
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: need to ask your significant other before getting married or

977
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: settling down. It's free. You can go to Forbes dot

978
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 1: com under me you can find it.

979
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll find the link. Yeah.

980
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 1: Or also I also have a course about that. Yes, yeah,

981
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: what what you can what you can ask your significant other? Okay,

982
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: so either one you could do, but there are certain

983
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 1: questions that you need to ask to make sure that

984
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 1: you guys are on the same page when it comes

985
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 1: to finances. Okay, So, for example, what are your financial goals.

986
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 1: Your financial goals may be I want to spend money

987
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: traveling all the time and I'm happy living in an

988
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: apartment with two kids and adult. Her financial goals may be, no,

989
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: I want to save for a house. Okay, what are

990
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 1: your financial goals? Next thing you want to ask is

991
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: are you a spender? Are you a saver? How much

992
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: savings do you have? Do you have an emergency fund?

993
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 1: What are your goals as far as that stuff is concerned,

994
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: because that'll tell you a lot about the other person

995
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: you also, and I'm not going to go through everything,

996
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 1: but you need to know someone's credit score. It feels

997
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 1: weird asking someone's credit score, but you can't even get

998
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 1: a freaking apartment if you don't have a good credit score, right,

999
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 1: So what is your credit score? What is your debt

1000
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: to income race? Show all that is important? How are

1001
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: we going to treat the kids financially meeting? Are we

1002
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 1: going to ask them to work? Are we going to

1003
00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: give them an allowance? Are we going to pay for

1004
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 1: their cars? Are we how are we going to be

1005
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: with our kids financially. And another question people don't even

1006
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: think about is are there other people besides our nuclear

1007
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: family that we need to support financially?

1008
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because definitely going down the line, you know, a

1009
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 2: few hundred dollars here, right, you may.

1010
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: Think I'm going to support my mother and she may

1011
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 1: be like, oh no, right, and a lot of like

1012
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: minority families, that's very common to support your family, But

1013
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: you got to are there other people? Well, maybe you know,

1014
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 1: my sister is disabled, we may need to support her. Like.

1015
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: Those are the things that you need to know before

1016
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: you get into relationship and make sure that they match

1017
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: and you're on the same page, because if they don't,

1018
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: your relationship will end. Finances is the number one reason

1019
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: relationships end. Wow, number one, past cheating, past you know,

1020
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: anything like that.

1021
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 2: We've been reading a lot of stories where guys won't

1022
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 2: do chores around the house and people are getting divorced.

1023
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 2: I thought that would be up there too. No, it

1024
00:46:58,920 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 2: is finances.

1025
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 1: Finances number one. But the second reason is that men

1026
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 1: are refusing to evolve. Okay, so they're not evolving to

1027
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 1: what women need because before they didn't have to evolve

1028
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: because women had to put up with their ship because

1029
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: we didn't have any other financial options.

1030
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 2: So growing up for me, my grandma and my grandpa

1031
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 2: both are very codependent on each other. My grandma does

1032
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 2: everything inside the house, takes care of food, you know, clothes, laundry,

1033
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: all that stuff, and my grandpa takes care of everything

1034
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 2: outside of the house, like the garden, lawnmow, win, all

1035
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 2: that stuff. And that's how they live. Yeah, my grandmother

1036
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 2: is a retired magistrate and my grandfather still works at

1037
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 2: the sawmill. But seeing my parents live, it's like a

1038
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 2: totally different world. Like they it's not like one person

1039
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 2: owns like this domain and the other person. It's like

1040
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:48,720
Speaker 2: both at the same time.

1041
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: Right, And that's what needs to happen, is that we

1042
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: need we need to understand that, like, chores are not

1043
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 1: gender driven. Okay, now, my fiance he may take out

1044
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: the track more than I do, right because like he's

1045
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 1: gotta lug it down or whatever. I'm stronger, let me

1046
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: do it. You're fine, But you know, gender roles don't

1047
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: determine what chores you should do. Those are life skills

1048
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: that everybody needs to have.

1049
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 2: Dude. I think my mother every day because like I

1050
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 2: know how to full my clothes.

1051
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 1: Good. Great, Yeah, then she raised you.

1052
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,720
Speaker 2: Well, amazing mother, I cook. I like, amazing.

1053
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 1: See you you are the epitome of what women look for.

1054
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: And I sincerely mean that. Yeah, because there's a lot

1055
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: of men that refuse to evolve, that are sitting in

1056
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: there with mother's basement, typing away. They don't have a job.

1057
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: There's smoking wet all day and there in cells and

1058
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 1: you know, and they're like, well, women suck. I hate women.

1059
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 1: Why can't I get a girlfriend? Well, because you hate women?

1060
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And some of these dudes somehow fine girlfriends and

1061
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 2: then end up on Reddit.

1062
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 1: And they're like, yeah, right, exactly.

1063
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 2: Well I'm doing the soul strategically because one day I

1064
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 2: want to be like a stay at home dad.

1065
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 1: Fantastic, that's all I want to do.

1066
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 2: What's still probably find like a podcast or something to

1067
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 2: talk on, but like I imagine myself like taking care

1068
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: of the kids and then let my wife's out there,

1069
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 2: like you know, doing her thing girl bosson it up.

1070
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: What you need to do is you need then what

1071
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 1: you need to do start investing immediately. Yeah, you need

1072
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: to start and investing your money immediately. So then when

1073
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: it gets to that point, you have money to live

1074
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: off of.

1075
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 2: I'm with New York Live.

1076
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, do you do you have? Are you

1077
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: investing yourself? Do you have?

1078
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm investing myself like I'm putting it into stocks

1079
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,439
Speaker 2: New York Life. I got another stock guy over there,

1080
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: three different places.

1081
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, great, as long as you're investing.

1082
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 2: Hey, John og Hoist here, we're gonna get back to

1083
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 2: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

1084
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 2: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive. All right, we

1085
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 2: have another fan question from the tomt the Tom are

1086
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 2: you here?

1087
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 3: I haven't seen her?

1088
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,319
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her, So this one the tomlet I

1089
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 2: live off social Security disability, and I recently inherited a

1090
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,399
Speaker 2: small business that was in a financial mess. I've been

1091
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 2: able to reorganize it as a nonprofit, but still don't

1092
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 2: have the money to file a five O one C

1093
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 2: three yet. My financial goal for this business is to

1094
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 2: be able to help pay my bills one day since

1095
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 2: I run it out of my house. How can the

1096
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 2: broke lead the broke towards success?

1097
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would need a little bit more context on that. However,

1098
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: she again, if you don't have enough money to make

1099
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: it a five oh, one C three, you need to

1100
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,959
Speaker 1: get a side hustle. Yeah, you just I mean, that's it, right,

1101
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: Spend less or get a side hustle, because that is

1102
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 1: what you are going to require for your future.

1103
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 2: Right.

1104
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,959
Speaker 1: If that business is something that you're going to rely

1105
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: on for your future, then you're going to have to

1106
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: just suck it up a little bit now and make

1107
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: more money. Do stuff that you don't want to do.

1108
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: And I always say, sometimes you have to do stuff

1109
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: you don't want to do in order to be able

1110
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 1: to do what you want to do. Right, So just

1111
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: like I was working three jobs, I didn't want to

1112
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 1: work three jobs. I just knew that that's what required

1113
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,399
Speaker 1: me to get to where I want to be. It's

1114
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: paid off, it's paid off absolutely, So that's what she

1115
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:56,439
Speaker 1: needs to do. She needs to figure out a way

1116
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,399
Speaker 1: to make that business work. And if it's a five

1117
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 1: o'h one C three, get a side household, do something,

1118
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 1: get it together, make that business successful, because that's what's

1119
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: going to be for your future.

1120
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and pay your bills, Pay your bills. Lucy p says,

1121
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 2: I definitely do more of the heavy lifting in terms

1122
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 2: of household, but my partner does stuff and more often

1123
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 2: than not. Hooks thinner for us every night.

1124
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: That's okay. Yeah, if it works for you, it works

1125
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 1: for you. It just has to work for you, right,

1126
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:22,720
Speaker 1: It's different for every couple.

1127
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 2: I have a question, what is the one time you

1128
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 2: didn't trust your gut and you regretted it?

1129
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: Oh? My goodness, are you ready for this story?

1130
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 2: I'm so ready. She's been like prepping me for this.

1131
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: This story is so good and this is for all

1132
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 1: the people out there listening to trust your gut when

1133
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 1: something feels off. Yeah, okay, when something feels off. So

1134
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 1: I was in law school, I was living in Chicago,

1135
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:50,399
Speaker 1: and when was this? This was in nineteen ninety four. Okay,

1136
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: ninety four, pre cell phones. We didn't have cell phones

1137
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: back then.

1138
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: We five minutes.

1139
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: No we didn't. Oh man, no, no one had No

1140
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 1: one had a cell phone. Yeah, no one had a

1141
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: cell phone. I mean they had those big boxes that

1142
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: were like in the cars. You know what I mean.

1143
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 2: So if you want to talk to your friend, you

1144
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: have to send him a letter.

1145
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 1: Well, we're calling from your house phone. You know what's

1146
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:19,399
Speaker 1: a house phone? Yeah? Everyone had landlines. We had landlines,

1147
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 1: or you could use a payphone if you needed to,

1148
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: but there were no cell phones. Were there were no

1149
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 1: mobile phones?

1150
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 2: Gotcha?

1151
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 1: So it was my first year in law school. My

1152
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,919
Speaker 1: friend's husband was a doctor. He set me up with

1153
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: this other doctor. He is super rich. He's like Patti.

1154
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: He is a millionaire. He is so smart, he's so funny,

1155
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 1: he's kind, he's generous, he's everything. He was a surgeon.

1156
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: And if people know, surgeons are literally crazy doing every

1157
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: data surgeon, I kid you not.

1158
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 2: Like like narcissistic, socioathic.

1159
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: Narcissists, sociopaths, they have a god complex. Like all surgeons

1160
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 1: are weird. I'm telling you, I promise you on this one.

1161
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 3: That's the thing, Riley, what it's because it's like they

1162
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: want your life and their hands.

1163
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're narcissist, all.

1164
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 2: Of them, on and off operating to him. Yeah. Yeah,

1165
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: didn't know that, Okay, so did.

1166
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 1: I didn't know that then either. It took me a

1167
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 1: few surgeons to figure this out. So this is life

1168
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 1: for a surgeon. So uh sets me up. The guy

1169
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 1: pulls up and I was living in a high eyes

1170
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: in Chicago at that point, pulls up in this beautiful Porsche.

1171
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: He was as advertised, tall, good looking, handsome, funny whatever.

1172
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: Went to this amazing restaurant, like one of the best

1173
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 1: restaurants in Chicago, had an amazing meal, and during this meal,

1174
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: he continued to tell me about his mother and how

1175
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: I remind him of his mom, and kept talking over

1176
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: and over about his mother. Oh no, yeah, So I'm thinking,

1177
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: like I start to get, you know, that gut feeling like,

1178
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: oh this is a little weird, you know, but guess

1179
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 1: what overwrote that that gut feeling, my love goggles of

1180
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: this could be the one.

1181
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 2: You know. I was gonna say the Porsche that you

1182
00:53:58,800 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 2: picked you up.

1183
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: That too, that too. So I was like, wow, I'm

1184
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 1: like this guy, Okay, it's maybe he's got a thing

1185
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 1: with his mom. It's a little pork but who cares.

1186
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 1: You know, things could be worse, right, things could be worse.

1187
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: We finished in her at like nine point thirty ten o'clock.

1188
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 1: He says, you know what, I like you so much.

1189
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 1: I want to take you and introduce you to my mother.

1190
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 1: And I'm like, at ten.

1191
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,799
Speaker 2: O'clock, wait, why was she so yeah?

1192
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I still talking about her. So I'm like, but

1193
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 1: it's ten o'clock. He's like, oh, she stays up late.

1194
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: It's not a big deal. I would love for you

1195
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 1: to meet her. And I'm like, and we're living in

1196
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: the city. Okay. So we're in the city in Chicago

1197
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 1: at this point. So my gut again is telling me, Patty,

1198
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: this is off his Porsche and his good looks, and

1199
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 1: the doctor thing is telling me, Oh, you're just being silly.

1200
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: So what go meet his mom.

1201
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a big deal, big.

1202
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 1: Deal, you know. We get in his car Riley. We

1203
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:55,280
Speaker 1: are driving an hour and a half outside of Chicago

1204
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 1: at this point. Right, I have no cell phone. I

1205
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: don't know where I'm going. H Yeah, I don't know

1206
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 1: where I'm going. And I keep saying where are we going?

1207
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: And he's like, well, you know, my mother lives in

1208
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 1: the suburbs. I'm like, well, that would have been good

1209
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: for you to tell me. And like this guy is

1210
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 1: starting to become like the serial killer. Ted Bundy to me, like,

1211
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 1: I just I feel so weird. I don't know where

1212
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm going, I don't know what I'm doing, you know.

1213
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my, I'm so frightened. Right, So we

1214
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: pull up to this gated community.

1215
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel a little bit better here, yes, yes.

1216
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 1: Ted Bundy became Christian Gray again, like the hot guy again,

1217
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: you know, like he said, all of a sudden, things

1218
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: switched it switched up, he puts. He goes in. No,

1219
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:41,759
Speaker 1: there wasn't even a gay code. There was somebody at

1220
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 1: the gate. Hello, mister So and so they opened the gate.

1221
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: We go in and his house was in estate. I'm

1222
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: talking like with the fountain that the circular driveway, the

1223
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,479
Speaker 1: fountain in the middle. Like I was like, oh my god,

1224
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: am I Patty, You're such a weirdo. See like this

1225
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:00,840
Speaker 1: is this is working out for you. You could have

1226
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: given all this up, Like what are you doing? Okay,

1227
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: get out. We go into his house. The butler shows up.

1228
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: Hello butler, Hello, mister is dressed like a butler.

1229
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 2: Stop is now?

1230
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm serious, no joke. Hello, Mistress So and So, good

1231
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 1: to see you whatever. He's like, yeah, we're just here

1232
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 1: to visit mom. And I'm like, okay, well, at least

1233
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 1: there's somebody else in the house. I'm like, okay, where's

1234
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 1: the mom? And this this place was massive. So he

1235
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: starts heading and goes, come on, let's go meet my mom.

1236
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 1: I'm like okay. So we start walking to the backyard

1237
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, and I keep saying, where's your mom.

1238
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 1: He's like, she's out here, she's out here. Yeah, it

1239
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,919
Speaker 1: is pitch black in this backyard. Okay, So I keep

1240
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: looking back, I keep seeing the butler. But I'm like,

1241
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: and this backyard is massive. I mean again, this isn't

1242
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: a state yea, this isn't just little some brinking Dean backyards.

1243
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 2: Probably got like a mat like a hedge maze.

1244
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it was just weird. Like, oh, So we're

1245
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 1: walking and he keeps saying, come on, come on, come on,

1246
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: she's out here. I'm like, where, how could she be

1247
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:05,240
Speaker 1: out here? So it's pitch black. So finally we stop

1248
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: and he says, mom, this is Patty, Patty, this is mom.

1249
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:13,320
Speaker 1: And he's talking to a gravesite. Stop a headstone.

1250
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 2: Stop. Stop, no, stop stop.

1251
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 1: I am not joking. No, I am not in the

1252
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: middle on the estate, in the middle, in the middle,

1253
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: I am not Joe. I don't even think that was legal, honestly. Yeah,

1254
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 1: he is talking to a headstone and he is literally

1255
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: talking to his mother talking about how much he likes

1256
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 1: me and how much this and my heart is pounding

1257
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 1: out of my chest, like honestly, when I when I

1258
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: think about it now. I'm still getting the anxiety over this.

1259
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1260
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm like, okay, you hell know, yeah I know,

1261
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 1: so I don't know. Yeah, no, she was buried there.

1262
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: She was buried there, she was buried on site. Yes,

1263
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 1: stop yes. So at this point I'm thinking, okay, I

1264
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 1: have one or two options. I can run, But where

1265
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: am I going to? I got heels on, I have

1266
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 1: a dress on. I don't even know where I am.

1267
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 1: I literally had no idea where I was in the suburbs.

1268
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you, I said. Or if you can't

1269
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 1: beat them, join them kind of thing.

1270
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1271
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 1: So I started to converse back with the mother. Hello,

1272
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: miss so and so, it's so nice to meet you.

1273
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: It's lovely. You have a lovely somewhat a beautiful home.

1274
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1275
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 1: I literally pretended I was as crazy as this dude.

1276
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 2: He's digging it and he's all he is.

1277
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 1: All over it. He's so happy. He is happy as

1278
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: a clam, like the smile on his face. So I'm like,

1279
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: I'm there for like ten fifteen minutes having a fake conversation.

1280
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 2: Right. So wait, so you're like, how are you doing?

1281
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 2: Oh that's so nice.

1282
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,959
Speaker 1: I'm like, how are you doing. He's like, oh she's

1283
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 1: doing well, Oh my god. Yeah, full Norman, no on,

1284
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 1: full on yes, full on yes. So yeah, I know,

1285
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 1: and I am like, you dumbass, you to listen to

1286
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 1: your instincts. You should When he like right, but again,

1287
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 1: you know our love goggles and are like, oh, I

1288
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 1: want a relationship so badly. I'm so desperate to be married.

1289
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: This is the perfect guy. He's a surgeon, he's you know.

1290
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: So ten fifteen minutes go by and I was like, well,

1291
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 1: you know, I have class tomorrow. I was still in

1292
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 1: law school. I'm like, we should probably head out. He's

1293
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 1: like okay, and I'm like thank god. So I'm like,

1294
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Da da da dah. So I

1295
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 1: pretend everything is fine while we're in the car. I

1296
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: pretend your mother was lovely, you know, that kind of thing,

1297
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 1: because this guy's absolutely nuts. So I don't want to

1298
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 1: like put on that I think he's a freak because

1299
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what he's gonna do to me at

1300
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: this point, right, I'm just hoping to make it back

1301
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 1: to my apartment. So we pull up to my apartment

1302
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 1: and I had a doorman, and I looked at my

1303
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: dormant and he made eye contact with me. I looked

1304
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,920
Speaker 1: at him and I'm like, you sit, I go. Don't

1305
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: you ever ever contact me again? How dare you do that?

1306
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you ever contact me again, I am

1307
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 1: calling the police. I'm like, leave me alone. I'm like,

1308
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 1: if you ever contact me, I'm calling the hospital where

1309
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: you work. Like I was. I I just lost it

1310
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 1: because I was so scared. You know, They're like sent

1311
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 1: to his face.

1312
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1313
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was out of the car.

1314
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was out.

1315
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: Of the car, and I was like, if you ever

1316
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 1: contact me, I'm calling the hospital. I'm calling the police.

1317
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 1: Don't you ever come near me again. Forget my number

1318
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: for you. And he had my phone number at that point. Yeah,

1319
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:25,080
Speaker 1: and that was it.

1320
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 2: I see the Yeah, it sounds like a dateline episode.

1321
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I see this stuff on my

1322
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 2: dateline online.

1323
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 1: I know I would never believe it if it hadn't

1324
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 1: happened to me. You just can't make this up. I

1325
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: mean honestly, like, it was insane. It was insane. And

1326
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: from that point on, every time, I trusted my gut

1327
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 1: every time, and it's never been wrong. Wow.

1328
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And even if like it's like Ooh, that just

1329
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 2: doesn't feel right.

1330
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: I always, I always, the second that something feels off,

1331
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm out. And you know, we humans actually have that ability. Yeah,

1332
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: people just suppress it. Yeah, we humans have that. There's

1333
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 1: a book I forget the name of the book that

1334
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 1: was talking about this instinct that we have, that fear

1335
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 1: is our friend, and fear is what has evolved for

1336
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: us to tell us that there's something wrong, something around

1337
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 1: the worst. Yeah, and we don't. We don't. We don't

1338
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 1: listen to it.

1339
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 2: Why do you think we don't listen to it?

1340
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 1: I think it's because again we want the fairy tale.

1341
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 1: We think, oh, it's nothing, especially relationships, we're so desperate

1342
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: to find the wand he's so perfect in so many

1343
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: other ways. Or again, we don't want to be like God.

1344
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: I feel like a cycle, you know, I feel weird.

1345
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 1: What if I think this way? And it's that's why

1346
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 1: we don't.

1347
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like my people pleasing gets in the

1348
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 2: way of.

1349
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 1: Absolutely, we're afraid to like, hurt somebody's feelings. Were afraid

1350
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 1: to be rude. We're afraid to do that at our

1351
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 1: own expense. He could have literally killed me and nobody,

1352
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 1: nobody would have known.

1353
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 2: Where I was, except for the mom because you beat

1354
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 2: right besides right right?

1355
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 1: Me and the mom hanging out talking to each.

1356
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 2: Other such a good time the first time. Yeah, wow,

1357
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 2: And please tell me that your other dates with other

1358
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 2: surgeons weren't that crazy.

1359
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 1: No, but they were all narcissists. They were all like

1360
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 1: any data I've ever had with a surgeon. You ask

1361
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 1: any girl, they'll tell you the same thing. They're all narcissists.

1362
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 1: They all have God complexes. They all have like this

1363
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:20,440
Speaker 1: thing that they're better than everybody else because that's what

1364
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 1: they've been told their entire careers and lives.

1365
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,480
Speaker 2: Wow, I did not know that.

1366
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing that's news to me.

1367
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 2: I guess I've never really like talked to a surgeon either. Yeah,

1368
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 2: we've had to go to surgery. Wow, Patty, is there

1369
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 2: anything else you would like to plug or have anybody

1370
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:40,800
Speaker 2: else like be able to find you? Websites, Instagram socials,

1371
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 2: yes so at Dutchess of Decorum on Instagram and TikTok.

1372
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 1: And I also wrote a book, like I said, never

1373
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 1: dated broke through The Financial Freedom Playbook.

1374
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 2: Where can you get that?

1375
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 1: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, anywhere where you get your books.

1376
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 1: It was actually a number one bestseller on Amazon Relationships

1377
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 1: the second it came out, within twelve hours. Yeah, because again,

1378
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 1: it's not just about dating broke dudes. It's it will

1379
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: literally give you a financial plan. Yeah, it will not

1380
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: only just about finances. It'll teach you how to ask

1381
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 1: for a raise, how to ask how to apply for

1382
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 1: upper level jobs. It teaches you how not to just

1383
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: lose confidence in yourself and your self worth. So it's

1384
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 1: about all of that and really, most importantly, how to

1385
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 1: stop waiting for Prince Charming to come and save you,

1386
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:27,800
Speaker 1: because a lot of women feel that way. Taking initiative

1387
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: exactly and not waiting for someone to rescue you because

1388
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 1: no one's coming.

1389
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:34,160
Speaker 2: From talking with you. That's what I really see is

1390
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 2: you're not You don't seem like a person to sit

1391
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,080
Speaker 2: still or like to wait for something.

1392
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can't, you know, you really can't. You

1393
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 1: can't wait for something to happen. You really have to

1394
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 1: make yourself make it happen. And I had, for example,

1395
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,280
Speaker 1: we have time, right so we can Yeah. Yeah, So,

1396
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 1: like I had to fire someone that was representing me

1397
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: in a in in my media capacity, and the reason

1398
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:02,520
Speaker 1: that I did that is because anytime I would ask

1399
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 1: this person, hey, did you follow up with this person

1400
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 1: about this? Did you follow up with this person? The

1401
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 1: response would be you shouldn't chase. If it's meant to be,

1402
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,760
Speaker 1: it will be, it will come to you, you know

1403
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: that kind of like woo oo stuff, you know, and

1404
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 1: it never did because you have to actually have to

1405
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: take action.

1406
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like you have to always follow up.

1407
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely. So yeah, I'm all about taking action, doing what

1408
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:32,920
Speaker 1: is best for you, and really not relying on somebody

1409
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 1: else to do it for you. Everybody needs help, right, So,

1410
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 1: like you know, my fiance and I we live together,

1411
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: and you know, he helps me with certain things. I

1412
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 1: help him with certain things. It's not like I'm against that.

1413
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: And if and if you want to be married, great,

1414
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:48,160
Speaker 1: be married. I'm just saying that you can't lose yourself

1415
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 1: in that.

1416
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 2: So you guys gonna get married, We're not.

1417
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 1: Yes, I know that, that's the look I get all

1418
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 1: the time, and he knows.

1419
01:04:58,520 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 3: Yes.

1420
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 1: Of course, we talked about everything, and that's what's really important.

1421
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 1: So we think of like an engagement as a higher

1422
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:07,440
Speaker 1: level of commitment. Okay, so it's a higher level of commitment.

1423
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:09,800
Speaker 1: We're going to stay there. But the reason that I

1424
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 1: don't get married is I don't see a purpose for it.

1425
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 1: I don't think there's a reason to get married really

1426
01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: these days. But also, you know, I'm very much into

1427
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: female empowerment, anti patriarchy, and marriage is rooted in patriarchy.

1428
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,200
Speaker 1: That's why marriage was created, all right. So it was

1429
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 1: a patriarchal system that created that. So I'm not going

1430
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 1: to engage in anything that is rooted in patriarchy. Again,

1431
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 1: people want to get married, great, I'm not against.

1432
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 2: Them, but that kind of goes against what you've been

1433
01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 2: exactly doing exactly. Yeah, So what does that look like

1434
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 2: like around tax season or think when you want to

1435
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:42,560
Speaker 2: be married?

1436
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:47,360
Speaker 1: If you're like it depends, It depends if you're significant

1437
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 1: if your total income with your significant other, right, if

1438
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 1: that brings down your taxable income. If they make less

1439
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 1: than you, then yes, being married is a tax benefit.

1440
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,280
Speaker 1: If they make just as much, if not more than you,

1441
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 1: you don't want to get married. It'll hurt. It'll hurt

1442
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:05,320
Speaker 1: your taxes to know that.

1443
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, out of everyone you've worked with, what is your

1444
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 2: favorite success story?

1445
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:14,000
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, yes, I have one, which I love.

1446
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 1: So this woman she was married. She married when she

1447
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 1: was young. Yeah, okay, she was young and she had kids,

1448
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 1: and she was a stay at home mom, same thing,

1449
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: completely financially dependent on her husband, completely like and he

1450
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:33,480
Speaker 1: was controlling everything. Wow, I mean everything. Okay. So she

1451
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 1: wanted to leave him, and she didn't know how to

1452
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 1: do that because she from the time that she, you know,

1453
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:42,320
Speaker 1: was eighteen she married him, she never really had a job,

1454
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 1: she never really had a career. But what she did

1455
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,920
Speaker 1: do is she was working. She was volunteering at school,

1456
01:06:47,960 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: she was volunteering at events, she was doing all of that.

1457
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: So she came to me and she's like, I want

1458
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:55,000
Speaker 1: to leave this guy. He's controlling, but I don't know how.

1459
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 1: I can't even get a job because I don't have

1460
01:06:57,240 --> 01:07:00,439
Speaker 1: any experience, right, I don't you know, I've I've never

1461
01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:02,760
Speaker 1: had a job. So I started talking to you. I go, well,

1462
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 1: what have you been doing with your kids these past

1463
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:08,320
Speaker 1: twelve thirteen years. She's like, well, yeah, I am on

1464
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 1: the PTA, I was in charge of this event, I

1465
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 1: was charging that. And what people don't understand is those

1466
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:19,160
Speaker 1: are transferable skills that she had, organizational skills that she

1467
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:20,320
Speaker 1: didn't know about.

1468
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 2: Rights, about management.

1469
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 1: Exactly yes, time management, how to organize a party, how

1470
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 1: to speak to vendors how I'm like, those are all skills.

1471
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:33,560
Speaker 1: So I helped her build her resume with the skills

1472
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 1: that she had in the volunteer opportunities and the skills,

1473
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: and she started. She started out as an executive assistant. Okay, fine,

1474
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,640
Speaker 1: because again she had organizational skills. She knew how to

1475
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:48,640
Speaker 1: and she moved up in the company to where she

1476
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 1: became the senior vice president of a tech company, of

1477
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 1: a tech company, of a tech company. She was ordering

1478
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 1: meals when she was the executive assistant. Just think about that.

1479
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:00,760
Speaker 1: But what she did is she always went above and

1480
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,919
Speaker 1: beyond what she was supposed to do. Yeah, she asked

1481
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:06,840
Speaker 1: questions she'd learned. She you know, she would go to

1482
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 1: the people that were higher than her and said, hey,

1483
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 1: do you have any projects you're working on? I'd like

1484
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,320
Speaker 1: to see what you're working on. She would learn how

1485
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,080
Speaker 1: to do that. Then when they would be like, oh,

1486
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:17,280
Speaker 1: she did a great job, the next position that was

1487
01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 1: opened she moved into constantly did that senior vice president,

1488
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:25,360
Speaker 1: making millions of dollars. Left her Dusty husband is, yeah,

1489
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:29,040
Speaker 1: is doing so well? And I just like I applaud

1490
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:30,280
Speaker 1: her because it's not easy.

1491
01:08:30,439 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she did it before you go. What what

1492
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:35,680
Speaker 2: do you have to say to those that feel like

1493
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 2: they're stuck in a relationship they can't get out of it.

1494
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:40,120
Speaker 2: What kind of words of encouragement do you have for that?

1495
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:43,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not alone. I too felt like I was

1496
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,719
Speaker 1: stuck in a relationship. Everything I talk about are mistakes

1497
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:50,120
Speaker 1: that I've made. So I felt like I was stuck

1498
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:53,439
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Even though I've always made my own money.

1499
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 1: You know, I was stuck because I I you know,

1500
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 1: I wasn't making enough. I was a prosecutor. Again, I

1501
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,599
Speaker 1: wasn't making that much money. Yeah, I would make it

1502
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:05,760
Speaker 1: back then. Yeah, I wasn't making enough money. But when

1503
01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:07,840
Speaker 1: I moved in with them, you know, we were living

1504
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:10,519
Speaker 1: in a big house, and I was I was stuck

1505
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:13,800
Speaker 1: because I had the golden handcuffs, so I was used

1506
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 1: to that lifestyle. And he was so controlling. He was

1507
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:21,480
Speaker 1: so mentally abusive to me. Yeah, very mentally abusive, very controlling.

1508
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:24,479
Speaker 1: So you're not alone. I've been there. But what I

1509
01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:27,559
Speaker 1: tell you is you just have to take one step

1510
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 1: toward your freedom, one step at a time. You can't

1511
01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:33,439
Speaker 1: think about what's going to happen in a year from now.

1512
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 1: Just take one step, whether it's getting that side hustle right,

1513
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:41,880
Speaker 1: start saving money on the side for yourself. Start figuring out, Okay,

1514
01:09:41,880 --> 01:09:43,559
Speaker 1: how am I going to make money in the future.

1515
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 1: Start planning step by step by step. It's not going

1516
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,479
Speaker 1: to be easy. It's going to be the hardest thing

1517
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,479
Speaker 1: you do. But the hardest thing you do always has

1518
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:55,719
Speaker 1: the best benefits. Yeah, you always read the most rewards

1519
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:58,000
Speaker 1: from the hardest thing you do. So just start by

1520
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,120
Speaker 1: taking small, little steps, and eventually you'll see that you've

1521
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 1: gone so far that you're ready to get out because

1522
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,240
Speaker 1: life is too short to be stuck in a relationship

1523
01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:07,080
Speaker 1: that you don't want to be in.

1524
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:10,080
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, tell me about it. Yeah, ain't that right, amen,

1525
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 2: Carly Right? Yes, yeah, this was very empowered. I feel empowered.

1526
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel so empowered today. I'm like, I

1527
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 1: love a good side hustle and I haven't had.

1528
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:23,599
Speaker 3: One in a while, and I'm like, man, I kind

1529
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 3: of want one.

1530
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm about to start three after Yeah.

1531
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 3: I think even during jobs that I've had that are

1532
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,080
Speaker 3: paying well, I've been like, why not, Like if I

1533
01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:36,479
Speaker 3: have a free weekend, Like, let's do something, Let's make

1534
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 3: an extra hundred, an extra two hundred, Like you know.

1535
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:41,759
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an example. One of my friends, Alan,

1536
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 1: and I will name him directly. Alan has an amazing

1537
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:49,719
Speaker 1: career as a as an event planner, right, and he's

1538
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:52,720
Speaker 1: a caterer, amazing, makes tons of money. Yeah every time

1539
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:54,200
Speaker 1: about calm, Hey, what are you doing? Oh, I'm on

1540
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 1: an uber ride, like going from one place to another.

1541
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,559
Speaker 1: If he's going somewhere, puts on his uber rap, makes

1542
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:02,559
Speaker 1: a hundred bucks. On the way back, makes another hundred bucks.

1543
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:05,559
Speaker 1: I mean, this guy is forever hustling, and he has

1544
01:11:05,680 --> 01:11:07,840
Speaker 1: so much money to do whatever. He's like, this is

1545
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: my vacation money. He saves that money up and goes

1546
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:13,280
Speaker 1: on these extravagant vacations. Dude, yep.

1547
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 3: I used to take my side hustles, and anything I

1548
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:18,040
Speaker 3: made from that went into my bank account. It was

1549
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:19,280
Speaker 3: my savings. I didn't even touch it.

1550
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:20,360
Speaker 1: My regular job.

1551
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:20,840
Speaker 2: Was my job.

1552
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 1: That's what I spent.

1553
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:24,640
Speaker 3: Anything else I didn't look at. See, and that was

1554
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:27,799
Speaker 3: probably the fastest I've ever saved see exactly.

1555
01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 1: Think it's that side hustle that people don't think about.

1556
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 2: I do go see my girlfriend like every other weekend.

1557
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:37,760
Speaker 1: Uber there, I'm telling you there anyway, Riley, Yeah, there's

1558
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,240
Speaker 1: a far one that's far. You make a hundred bucks

1559
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 1: at least you're going there.

1560
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:45,559
Speaker 2: Anyway from like Santa Monica to Orange count.

1561
01:11:45,439 --> 01:11:47,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Like I said, you need a passport

1562
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:51,640
Speaker 1: to get there. At least make a hundred bucks or

1563
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:52,200
Speaker 1: your way there.

1564
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,360
Speaker 2: Why not, my gosh.

1565
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,960
Speaker 1: And on the way back, that's two hundred bucks easy.

1566
01:11:57,120 --> 01:11:59,080
Speaker 1: If you go once or twice a week, that's four

1567
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,760
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a week, sixteen hundred dollars a month.

1568
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,600
Speaker 2: I might just quit doing this. I'm just gonna do that.

1569
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,479
Speaker 1: I can invest that money. I'm telling you that should

1570
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:06,479
Speaker 1: be your investment money.

1571
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:07,639
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1572
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:11,880
Speaker 1: Keep this job too. Yeah, job. You're very good at this.

1573
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,400
Speaker 2: Thank you and you're an amazing guest.

1574
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:17,400
Speaker 1: I appreciate this. Was this was so much fun.

1575
01:12:17,840 --> 01:12:19,680
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm like, oh my god, I was like

1576
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:24,120
Speaker 2: we were like in our element right here. Yeah. Well,

1577
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:26,800
Speaker 2: I'm gonna walk you out, but thank you again for

1578
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,840
Speaker 2: coming everyone. Class.

1579
01:12:28,479 --> 01:12:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah that was so much fun.

1580
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to.

1581
01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:35,280
Speaker 1: Text I see that. I can see the light bulb.

1582
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:38,640
Speaker 3: I could see the light bulb just a lot of

1583
01:12:38,760 --> 01:12:41,679
Speaker 3: yes is I can feel her drive. This is awesome.

1584
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:42,880
Speaker 3: Everyone's loving it.

1585
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:43,799
Speaker 1: Awesome, amazing.

1586
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:47,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, we're also the I like to say,

1587
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 2: the number one productive podcast in America because people put

1588
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:54,120
Speaker 2: us on while they like are cleaning doing something else

1589
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,439
Speaker 2: at the gym. Like, guys, what are you doing right now?

1590
01:12:56,560 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 2: What are you guys doing at this moment? I bet you,

1591
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 2: like there are ten people washing dishes or driving to

1592
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:03,800
Speaker 2: the way to work or hey, you know what.

1593
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: If you guys want to do that. I actually I

1594
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:09,320
Speaker 1: go on my website because I do free webinars, So

1595
01:13:09,479 --> 01:13:11,920
Speaker 1: I do free webinars like once a week. I try

1596
01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:13,479
Speaker 1: to do like a free webinar. So if you go

1597
01:13:13,479 --> 01:13:15,960
Speaker 1: on my website, you'll see my next webinar, join it,

1598
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:19,280
Speaker 1: and you could be doing that and learning something while

1599
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:21,679
Speaker 1: you are cleaning something or whatever.

1600
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:25,320
Speaker 2: Cleaning. Yeah, amazing, Gotta check that. And what's that website again?

1601
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:28,640
Speaker 1: Pattiside dot com p A T T I E E

1602
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,400
Speaker 1: H s A E I dot com.

1603
01:13:30,439 --> 01:13:33,120
Speaker 2: Amazing, Patty, thank you again, thank.

1604
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 1: You for having me. This is so much fun.