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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Oh, Hi Chelsea, Welcome back to la.

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Speaker 2: Oh Hello shallo.

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Speaker 1: Chelsea. I have an update from one of our callers.

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Speaker 1: This is from Emily. She called in on our Joel

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Speaker 1: Kim Booster episode a while back. She was having some

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Speaker 1: difficulty getting her writing done and we gave her some advice.

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Speaker 1: Emily says, Hi, Catherine and Chelsea. Update about my no

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Speaker 1: nonsense writing habits that I've been improving in the last

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Speaker 1: few months since I talked to you guys. I actually

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Speaker 1: ended up quitting my job and going back to school

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Speaker 1: for graduate studies, and not surprisingly, that has really helped

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Speaker 1: put me back into the writing headspace I was first

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Speaker 1: in when I started the series back in my undergrad

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Speaker 1: I took Chelsea's suggestion and I now dedicate the first

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Speaker 1: hour or two of my day to writing. And you

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Speaker 1: were right. Not only does it feel less like a chore,

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Speaker 1: but the quality of what I'm putting out is a

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Speaker 1: lot better. I'm no proud to report that the first

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Speaker 1: three books in my series are done, and the first

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Speaker 1: two we'll be ready for beta readers in the next

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Speaker 1: time four to six weeks.

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Speaker 2: There we go, Yes, there we go.

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Speaker 1: My sister and I are trying to budget coming to

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Speaker 1: see you soon, So I'm looking forward to seeing you

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Speaker 1: live again. Thank you both so much. I really love

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Speaker 1: the advice and continue to admire and religiously listen to

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Speaker 1: the show. Emily.

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Speaker 3: Ah, that's incredible, I know, love it.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: Our guest today is already on the line, but she's

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Speaker 1: been named one of Variety's ten Comics to Watch, and

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Speaker 1: you can watch her first hour long special on the

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Speaker 1: streamer Veeeps ve EPs and it's hysterical. So shall we

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Speaker 1: let her on the line.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Blair Saki Saki Sucki.

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Speaker 5: Hi Chelsea, how are you?

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Speaker 3: Oh cute, You're so cute. Well, we're happy to have you.

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Speaker 3: Rosebud Baker texted me. She said, you have to have

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Speaker 3: this girl Blair Saki on. I thought it was so chy.

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Speaker 3: So it's Sucki, Suki Sucki. And she's like, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: love her and she loves you, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I love a young comedian that I'm

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Speaker 3: not familiar with.

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Speaker 5: Oh that's so nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. So it's so nice to meet you.

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Speaker 5: It's so nice. I've been such a fan for so long.

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Speaker 5: I was like, this is just a thrill for me.

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Speaker 2: So what's your story? Tell me about yourself.

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Speaker 3: I well, first I was reading that you got certified

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Speaker 3: in a lot of different kind of wellness genres over COVID.

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Speaker 3: So you are certified? What are you a mindfulness instructor?

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Speaker 2: What are you?

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Speaker 5: Hush?

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Speaker 2: You know, how do you identify tell us?

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Speaker 5: I guess I identify as comedian. But when we were

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Speaker 5: in lockdown in LA, like just things got so weird.

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Speaker 5: I just started taking on like courses compulsively. I took

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Speaker 5: two levels of breath work. I did TM, I did tapping,

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Speaker 5: you know, eft tapping.

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Speaker 4: Uh huh.

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Speaker 5: I did reiki. I'm still not sure what reki is.

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Speaker 4: No one.

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Speaker 3: I've also done raiky and left more confused than when

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Speaker 3: I arrived.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I just started taking courses I got really

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Speaker 5: Rosebud was like, we're gonna have to tie you to

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Speaker 5: the ground so you don't float away.

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Speaker 3: So which what was your favorite thing that you got

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Speaker 3: that you took a course in or got certified in

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Speaker 3: over COVID.

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Speaker 6: Uh.

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Speaker 5: I guess breath work was the first one that I

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Speaker 5: did that sort of started it at all, because I

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Speaker 5: didn't know that breath work that you could just your

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Speaker 5: body could feel like that just from breathing. It was

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Speaker 5: really really bizarre.

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Speaker 2: Who did you do it with?

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Speaker 5: I did it with these people called Revelation breath work.

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Speaker 5: They have a lot of classes. But yeah, I remember

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Speaker 5: just being so shocked because we have DMT in our

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Speaker 5: spinal fluid. So I don't know. I know you've done psychedelics.

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Speaker 5: I've dabbled myself, and I was pretty shocked about how

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Speaker 5: your body felt.

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Speaker 2: You know, how did it feel?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 5: I mean it just feels like your your whole body's

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Speaker 5: vibrating like you're high. It's it's bizarre. Ooh yeah, have

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Speaker 5: you ever tried it?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: I'm not good at breathing, so I'm always a little

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Speaker 3: put off. Like when I ski, I always notice I

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Speaker 3: hold my breath. When I ever got I have to

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Speaker 3: get like a chiropractic adjustment. They're like, you're not breathing,

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Speaker 3: You're not breathing in your diaphragm. You're not And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a good breather.

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Speaker 3: So breath work always, like even meditation, when I have

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Speaker 3: to do like four breaths in and then four hold

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Speaker 3: and then inhale for four exhal for four Even that

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Speaker 3: for me is challenging, So I probably need breath work

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Speaker 3: more than the average person.

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Speaker 5: I have to say, I'm exactly the same way, and

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Speaker 5: I still resist doing breath work, and every other like

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Speaker 5: person is always like are you breathing? You know, and

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Speaker 5: I resist it because it's almost like more laborious to

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Speaker 5: me at this point than going to the gym, Like

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Speaker 5: you really have to be in the mood to do

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Speaker 5: it. It's so physical.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it is. It is physical.

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Speaker 1: Is this breath work like different than what you would

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Speaker 1: do typically when you're meditating? Is it more intense? What's

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Speaker 1: the experience?

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Speaker 5: Like, well, meditating is just like sort of regular breathing,

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Speaker 5: and then like breathwork, is this really physical breathing technique.

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Speaker 3: Where you're blowing in and out right it huge inhales

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Speaker 3: and huge exhales. So in meditation, like you don't, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're just supposed to breathe regularly, unless they'll be like okay,

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Speaker 3: it's because sometimes guided meditations will go through a different

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Speaker 3: form of breathing exercises. I wouldn't even call it breath work,

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Speaker 3: but it's almost just to calm you, you know, it

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Speaker 3: calms your whatever that section of your brain is that

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Speaker 3: I can't think of right now because of mine isn't

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Speaker 3: on yet.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what's sick. I feel like a lot

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Speaker 5: of it is from just like this lifelong unconscious sucking

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Speaker 5: in your stomach. And I'm like, I think that's why

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Speaker 5: I just don't breathe that much without realizing it, or.

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Speaker 3: I notice sometimes if I'm in an uncomfortable situation that

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Speaker 3: I hold my breath, which is actually very funny because

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Speaker 3: I obviously don't hold very much back. But I find

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Speaker 3: when I'm in an awkward or uncomfortable I'm my breathing

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Speaker 3: is off too. Because I've started to become a little

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Speaker 3: bit more aware of my breathing and the hopes that I.

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Speaker 2: Can improve upon it.

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Speaker 3: Yet I'm not really willing to do any of the

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Speaker 3: exercises that would help me.

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Speaker 5: I know me too, honestly, I don't do it enough.

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Speaker 5: I need to do it.

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Speaker 2: Also, what about when did you do ayahuasca?

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Speaker 5: Well? I did it most recently two months ago.

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Speaker 2: And how many times have you done it?

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Speaker 5: I've done it three times.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, how about you just one time? I did it? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well I did it twice actually, but it was for

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Speaker 3: a special I was shooting for Netflix. Oh yeah, and

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Speaker 3: I did it there. We went to Peru and I

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Speaker 3: had one night with my friends, and then I did

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Speaker 3: it the next night alone. So you said three, Like

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Speaker 3: how different was each experience?

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Speaker 5: I've done it three weekends, so however, I guess, yeah,

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Speaker 5: that's six nights. Yeah, I don't know how like I

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Speaker 5: they say it fine, you but someone, I guess everyone

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Speaker 5: had always say like, don't ever do it in LA

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Speaker 5: with white people, you know, And I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: I guess I'm not doing it till I make it

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Speaker 5: to you know, Peru. And then someone, a friend of

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Speaker 5: a friend, just like had a good experience and I

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Speaker 5: went and uh, yeah, It's funny that people always are like, whoa,

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Speaker 5: You're like some druggie and I'm like, oh, there's nothing

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Speaker 5: recreational about it. It is like the most hard core

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Speaker 5: it's work. It feels like.

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Speaker 3: And did you were each of the three experiences vastly different?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Every single one was different, but all of them

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Speaker 5: I was, you know, shot into a different universe.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about the last one. What was it about,

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Speaker 2: Like what was the thesis?

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Speaker 5: I would say, well, it's gonna get really deep, and

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Speaker 5: it sounds whenever you're trying to disteal it down, people

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Speaker 5: are like, Okay, cucko. But what I would say is

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Speaker 5: like I was like, Oh, nothing's wrong with me. That's

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Speaker 5: what I learned. And it's like, it's not even like

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Speaker 5: I'm thinking every day something's wrong with me. It's probably

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Speaker 5: like an unconscious thing. But then I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 5: there's so much love, Like that's really what I felt.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, you're having this overwhelming feeling of love and

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Speaker 3: positivity for sure.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And I swear like I walked out of there

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Speaker 5: with a different worldview that I think I had trying

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Speaker 5: was trying to grasp for a while.

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Speaker 3: It's yeah, it's not even positivity, it's peacefulness that ayahuasca

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Speaker 3: gives you. Yeah, you're like you have a sense of

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Speaker 3: peace about the world that you didn't have before.

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Speaker 2: I would say, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Because there's a lot of just letting go and sort

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Speaker 5: of acceptance. I think that happens because you go into

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Speaker 5: these dark crevices and sort of I feel like aspirate

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Speaker 5: those wounds, and then you leave and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I'm good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Please don't use words like aspirate on this podcast. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm a.

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Speaker 3: Medical professional and I'm the only one who can throw

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Speaker 3: around that kind of vernacular.

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Speaker 5: An accident forgive me.

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Speaker 3: Did you have any like in the previous two sessions

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Speaker 3: with ayahuasca. I'm trying to avoid saying journey because that's

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Speaker 3: another word that I don't want to hear it same.

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Speaker 3: Did you have any like mind bending like epiphanies?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean there was crazy things like one aliens

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Speaker 5: came in my head and talked to me. One I

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Speaker 5: was went in my parents' bodies and felt how they

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Speaker 5: felt about me. That's cool. Yeah, And I was like, whoa,

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Speaker 5: they love me so much, you know, because you sometimes

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Speaker 5: you just have a disconnect with those things, and then

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Speaker 5: to be able to feel someone's perspective was crazy.

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Speaker 2: Did you tell them that? Did you talk to them

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Speaker 2: about it?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 5: No, they do not know that I have done ayahuasca,

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Speaker 5: and so hopefully no one tells them, but.

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Speaker 2: You know, well they'll find out now. So that's what

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Speaker 2: happens when you talk about it publicly. It gets back

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Speaker 2: to the people that you are hiding it from. So

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Speaker 2: congrats on that and welcome to my life.

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Speaker 5: I think they're used to it, you know, with comedy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So tell me about are you single, I'm single.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you seem single. How can you tell the

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Speaker 2: hat happy? You know, buoyant? I mean people, Yeah, people don't.

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Speaker 3: Single people don't get enough credit for how fun and

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Speaker 3: happy they are, Like they're fun.

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Speaker 5: Oh thanks, I think.

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Speaker 3: I mean a lot of married people are fun too,

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Speaker 3: but it's a very distinguishable quality for a single person

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Speaker 3: because they're just up for more fun adventure, like that

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Speaker 3: kind of vibe.

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Speaker 2: I catch that from single people.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well I feel the same about you. I mean,

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Speaker 5: I do hope I meet the right person, but I

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Speaker 5: have just so far been like I don't need anyone.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm not gonna do it unless they're really

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Speaker 5: like really really really good.

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Speaker 3: So unless they add a whole part of your life

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Speaker 3: that you don't already have an addition.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, which hasn't yet been I can't say that has

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Speaker 5: totally been my experience, but you know what.

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Speaker 2: Hasn't been your experience a guy adding.

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Speaker 5: To you to your life or yeah, which I have

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Speaker 5: to take responsibility for, you know, people that I've chose.

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Speaker 5: But now I'm just like, oh, I just yeah, I

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Speaker 5: just want someone who's like brings peace, fun, you know.

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Speaker 2: Ads, Yeah, and no drama. Yeah, I've been around a

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Speaker 2: lot of drama lately and I'm pretty wiped out from it.

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Speaker 5: Isn't it so hard in this business? Because like, for me,

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Speaker 5: I'm always like, I want to date a regular person,

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Speaker 5: And then I'm like, but when am I going to

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Speaker 5: find a regular person when I'm doing comedy every night everywhere?

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Speaker 3: That's why you have to get out of Hollywood. That's

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Speaker 3: where you meet regular people is away.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just like doing stand up all the time,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know, and fucking male comedians is just

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Speaker 3: not on my bucket list.

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Speaker 5: Like that is not gonna work for me.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, that is not hot or alluring

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Speaker 3: at all.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, if you find the one who doesn't have gout,

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Speaker 5: I mean, I still don't think it's worth it.

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Speaker 3: Well, they either have gout or they're sober, so two

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Speaker 3: things that don't interest me. I don't want anyone with gout,

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Speaker 3: which would indicate that you do drink, And I don't

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Speaker 3: want anyone sober.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, seventy five percent of comedians are sober. Now I

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Speaker 5: would say, I really, I think that's my estimation.

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Speaker 2: And I also I'm like, I want to put out

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Speaker 2: like a PSA, Like hey, guys, I've gotten away with

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Speaker 2: using drugs and alcohol all this time and I didn't

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Speaker 2: have to get sober. So why are you such a pussing?

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Speaker 5: Yeah you quitters?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, twitters.

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Speaker 3: It's like if you just don't ever let anything, if

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Speaker 3: you never ever abuse anything too much, you never have

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Speaker 3: to give it up. So just remember that in your

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Speaker 3: alcohol and drug use journey, like you have to temper yourself.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you can't party, sometimes you can't drink for periods

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Speaker 3: of time, or sometimes you have to tone it back.

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Speaker 3: But always just be open to that and be like, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'll take it easy so that.

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Speaker 2: I don't ever have to quit. But you know what,

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Speaker 2: that's irresponsible to some degree because I know a lot

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Speaker 2: of our listeners are are sober, and so a lot

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Speaker 2: of people do have an addiction and a disease, and

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Speaker 2: so you know, I want to respect that and also

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Speaker 2: remind people that I don't have that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's an interesting I know, when you're a new

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Speaker 5: early twenties you're like, oh my god, like I can

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Speaker 5: never read friends with sober people, and now I'm like,

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Speaker 5: literally all my friends are sober.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's the world of comedy, so you

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Speaker 3: have you dated any comics you don't have to mention names.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I have dated comics. Those are sort of my

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Speaker 5: few long term relationships in the since I started, but

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Speaker 5: not for a while. I've been off that train for

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Speaker 5: a while.

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Speaker 3: And I is it hard for you to I mean,

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Speaker 3: I guess it is hard for you to meet regular guys.

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Speaker 5: Well, I would say I'm a little shy. I'm also

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Speaker 5: like a pretty sleepy bitch, and you know, just being

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Speaker 5: on the road all the time, It's like, whenever I

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Speaker 5: have a day off, I'm not really feeling like corny.

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Speaker 5: I'm not really being like, wow, I can't wait to

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Speaker 5: go meet a stranger and ask him how many siblings

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Speaker 5: he has, you know, And then they find out I

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Speaker 5: do comedy, and then they ask me if I've ever

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Speaker 5: heard of Bill Burr.

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Speaker 2: Oh tell me about it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, someone just invited me to go see Bill

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Speaker 3: Burr at the Rogers Arena in Vancouver because I'm in Whistler,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, know me less.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I love Bil Berr. But it's like they

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Speaker 5: immediately start educating you on your own job and they're like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: thank you, but no, I'm trying to date now. And

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Speaker 5: I've actually been because I try to change my attitude

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Speaker 5: about it and I'm trying to enjoy it and like

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Speaker 5: put on an outfit. It's been fine, it's been fun.

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Speaker 5: Nice guys, I guess.

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Speaker 3: So I was reading that you get trolled a lot

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Speaker 3: on TikTok, that the people on TikTok you claim are

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Speaker 3: very mean, which makes sense because they're all kids, aren't they.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I just sort of enjoy it now,

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Speaker 5: like what people say about my voice, them saying I

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Speaker 5: sound like all the Ruggrats at once. But no, I

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Speaker 5: wouldn't say I get trolled any more than anyone else.

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Speaker 5: But I do have fun with it.

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Speaker 2: Any more than any regular white girl comedian. And who's

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Speaker 2: betting exactly? So you started an OnlyFans account? Or is

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Speaker 2: that a joke?

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Speaker 5: Oh no, that's real. It started as.

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Speaker 2: It I can't wait to subscribe.

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Speaker 5: I only had it for twenty four hours, oh because

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Speaker 5: my reps made me take it down because I auditioned

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Speaker 5: for a lot of children's you know stuff. But it

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Speaker 5: started as a joke. I wrote on Twitter one day.

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Speaker 5: It was just like hi or something, I don't know what,

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Speaker 5: and I said like, oh no, this was two years

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Speaker 5: ago before everyone had an OnlyFans and I was like,

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Speaker 5: do you have to hang on OnlyFans? You have to

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Speaker 5: uh can you just do feet or do you have

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Speaker 5: to show a whole you know, innocent, just having a

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Speaker 5: good time. And then and then it somehow got like

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Speaker 5: fifty thousand retweets, so I was like, oh, yeah, I

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Speaker 5: just I had no idea there was a market. I'm

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Speaker 5: starting one immediately, and I got one within forty five minutes.

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Speaker 5: And these people are freaks for feet. I always thought

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Speaker 5: that was sort of a joke.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that goes on on

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Speaker 3: OnlyFans that I didn't even know was a commodity or

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Speaker 3: a fetish. So you could basically have it without showing

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Speaker 3: your Pikachu or your asshole. You can just show I

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Speaker 3: guess you know that's your side boob. Like it can

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Speaker 3: be as as as niche simple as that, or his

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Speaker 3: niche as that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, thank you couching.

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Speaker 5: I say this in the bit. But like I made

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Speaker 5: the title of my Only Fans Blair sack ankles down

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Speaker 5: no hole, so literally everything was below my ankles and

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Speaker 5: it was doing quite well, but then all my dreams

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Speaker 5: and hopes got crashed down when I had to take

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Speaker 5: it down after twenty four hours a shame.

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Speaker 2: I know, are you fucking kidding me? Who gives a

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Speaker 2: shit what anyone is doing on onlyfriends?

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Speaker 5: What are we the church? I know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, America is getting really really embarrassing and hard to

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Speaker 3: deal with quite frankly.

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Speaker 5: I know. Are you seeing these young kids now that

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Speaker 5: say like they don't want sex scenes in movies? I

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Speaker 5: was like, God, you guys are dorks.

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Speaker 1: I've heard about that. They want to see like scenes

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Speaker 1: with friendships and stuff because that's what they don't have,

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Speaker 1: Like that that's their porn. It's like they don't you.

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Speaker 3: Know, right, So you think they want to see scenes

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Speaker 3: with kids because they don't have their own friendship.

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Speaker 2: Well like wait.

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Speaker 1: What, Yeah, they're like, we don't care about sex scenes

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Speaker 1: because they can see it all online. So they're like,

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Speaker 1: we don't really that's boring and they really want to

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Speaker 1: see like deep and meaningful friendships, Like that's what they

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Speaker 1: really want to see in movies.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, it's so weird, And maybe that's headed. Maybe

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Speaker 3: that is headed in a good direction.

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Speaker 1: Then maybe that's right.

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Speaker 2: If that's what they're craving, maybe that is a good thing.

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Speaker 3: Maybe all the social media is good because it's taking

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Speaker 3: us back to where we need to go, which is

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Speaker 3: not where we are.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know where did you grow up? I

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Speaker 5: grew up in Orange County.

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Speaker 2: Oh, sorry about.

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Speaker 5: And then I started comedy in New York, in which

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Speaker 5: I didn't know I was gonna start comedy. I moved

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Speaker 5: there to become a novelist in grad school and just

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Speaker 5: like accidentally started comedy.

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Speaker 2: Who are your friends within the comedy world that I

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Speaker 2: know besides Rosebud?

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Speaker 5: Well, yeah, me and Rosebud started together at the exact

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Speaker 5: same time. We've been best friends ever since.

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Speaker 3: But oh, you know who else I had up here

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Speaker 3: this weekend? We're Sydney, Marie and Amina.

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Speaker 2: Do you know them? Amina, Amani?

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Speaker 5: Those are all my girls. I started with Sid and

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Speaker 5: Marie too.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, of perfect. Yeah, they were the only black

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Speaker 3: people on the mountain yesterday. We got them a ski

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Speaker 3: lesson and then we took them to a prey and

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Speaker 3: Amina was like, I think I could ski with you.

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Speaker 3: She's like, look, showing me her video of her skiing.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, I mean you have to fucking

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Speaker 3: turn okay, just because you skied straight for third seconds.

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Speaker 3: That doesn't mean you can ski on the terrain that

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Speaker 3: we're skiing on.

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Speaker 2: But we had them.

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Speaker 3: They came for they came on Saturday night and they

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Speaker 3: spent two nights here and yeah, they're all ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Three. Yeah, Catherine, we have to put them on.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do a counseling session for them in

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Speaker 3: their relationship because they have a lot of beat between

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 2: So let's book them as well.

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Speaker 3: I just really only should have comedians on because they

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Speaker 3: provide the most joy and happiness.

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Speaker 7: No.

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Speaker 5: Us girls are so much fun. They're the best.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're so funny. Okay, So we're going to

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Speaker 2: take a break and we'll be right back.

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Speaker 5: Okay, and we're back.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So we're going to take callers.

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Speaker 3: Catherine has people that are calling in for advice, and

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Speaker 3: you know, we're just changing lives, one life at a

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Speaker 3: time here, that's what we're doing, and it's pretty serious business.

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Speaker 1: I love it, Blair. You're gonna maybe help us hook

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Speaker 1: some people up, break up some marriages. You know, we'll

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Speaker 1: see what happens.

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Speaker 5: Perfect.

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Speaker 1: So our first caller is Sarah. She is from New Jersey.

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Speaker 1: She says, Dear Chelsea. After a series of dumpster fire

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Speaker 1: relationships and a lot of therapy to figure out how

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Speaker 1: to break on healthy dating patterns. I finally found an

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Speaker 1: amazing guy. He's communicative, empathetic, considerate, and loves making me happy.

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Speaker 1: He has a great career, owns his home, and is

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Speaker 1: financially stable. He has a big circle of great friends,

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Speaker 1: and his family is so sweet. It's only been five

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Speaker 1: months together, but I could really see myself marrying him

443
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 1: one day. There's just one problem. Our sex life is horrible.

444
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: Our attempts at intimacy have been awkward, unsuccessful, and leave

445
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 1: much to be desired. I want this relationship to work,

446
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,959
Speaker 1: but his lack of experience and failure to launch make

447
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: me think we're just not sexually compatible. Is it possible

448
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,479
Speaker 1: to turn things around? Sarah?

449
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's really difficult. There's a lot of guys

450
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: that can't get it up. What's going on?

451
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 4: What is this?

452
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,880
Speaker 5: I think a lot of it's porn but also could

453
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 5: be depression.

454
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, Hi, Sarah, we're just talking about your lack of

455
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,159
Speaker 3: sex life. Hi, welcome to the podcast.

456
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,919
Speaker 6: Hi, thanks for having me.

457
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 2: This is our special guest today, Blair Saki.

458
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,360
Speaker 5: Hi, Sarah, So no sex at all?

459
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 2: Did I hear that correctly?

460
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 6: Limited limited sex, so penetration. So it seems like he's

461
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 6: able to keep it up if we if he's laying down,

462
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 6: so we're limited to me being on top, which is

463
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 6: a lot of it's a lot of work for me.

464
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 2: How interesting.

465
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, what does that mean that you can only keep

466
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 3: it up while lying down?

467
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 6: It's strange.

468
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 5: So I don't know.

469
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 6: I mean, it's been like a long process.

470
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 2: How long.

471
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 6: Well, so we've been together for like six months, We've

472
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 6: been having sex or trying to have sex for like

473
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 6: four but he was like slow in the beginning, like

474
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 6: he was a slow mover. It took a long time

475
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 6: for him to kiss me, It took a long time

476
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 6: for us to have sex for the first time.

477
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: And then I don't know.

478
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 5: I thought at.

479
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 6: First like he was just nervous, and there was always

480
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 6: like an excuse or reason he was stressed out from work,

481
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 6: or it was a long week, or it's been a

482
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,959
Speaker 6: long time since he had sex or whatever it was.

483
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 6: So it's been a lot of attempts. We just can't

484
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 6: he can't keep it up.

485
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of experience with this, but I

486
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 3: usually just press on immediately after that infraction because I

487
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 3: don't have time for that. But I'm so curious as

488
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 3: to what is going on in society that men are

489
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 3: having this issue.

490
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 6: So it's funny that you say that, though, because I've

491
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 6: never had this issue with any of my boyfriends before.

492
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 6: But I've also dated some like real assholes that they

493
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 6: have nothing to offer in my life romantically, but they're

494
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 6: great in bed. And now I have the exact opposite,

495
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 6: Like I've found my perfect unicorn and he can't have

496
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 6: sex with me.

497
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 3: Well, is there any scenario where you can have him

498
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 3: as your boyfriend and just fuck other guys.

499
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: On the side. I think that seems like the best solution.

500
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know it's a tough one.

501
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,479
Speaker 5: Also, I mean, if this is really the only issue,

502
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 5: what about the pills? Like, just go to the doctor guy.

503
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 6: Right, So that's something that we've talked about, like maybe

504
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 6: go see a doctor and make sure everything's going on,

505
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 6: Like everything's fine down there. He's very nervous around doctors

506
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 6: and he hates doctors. He's like insistent that he thinks

507
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 6: it's in his head. So he did offer to like

508
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 6: go see a therapist, which is fine, It's just it's

509
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 6: less of an immediate solution to the problem.

510
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, he could do both also, you know.

511
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 6: So the other issue though is that he has high

512
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 6: blood pressure, so I.

513
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 1: Can't do that meditation for that.

514
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 6: So I think there are some pills that you can't

515
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 6: take when.

516
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 3: There's cialisalis cialis, I think Sialis and then viagra, and

517
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,479
Speaker 3: one of them is you can't take with a heart condition.

518
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 3: And I believe one of them you can. I don't

519
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 3: know that for sure, obviously ask someone else.

520
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 2: But you know for men.

521
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 5: You know, for men that they made a pill that

522
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 5: can go along with their heart condition, in their serious

523
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 5: heart condition, No problem, We'll make another one for that. Yeah,

524
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 5: you ladies wait for everyone everything.

525
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: I wonder if there's something herbal that he could take though,

526
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure you have tried some goggling as

527
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 1: far as verbal stuff goes.

528
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:14,880
Speaker 2: What about Earl gray tea?

529
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 4: Does that? Have you try that?

530
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 6: And that's kind of why I want to have him

531
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 6: go see like a doctor so that he knows what

532
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 6: is safe to try and to take. But he's really

533
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 6: insisting on he wants to see a therapist and go

534
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 6: down that route before he goes to see a doctor.

535
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 6: I just don't know. How hard I should push because

536
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 6: you know, it's like it's his body, so I feel

537
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 6: awkward about it.

538
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: But well, Sarah, did you mention when we talked, does

539
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: he have some like body dysmorphia stuff or self consciousness

540
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: around his own body that maybe therapy would help unravel.

541
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's he's been overweight for most of his life,

542
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 6: and he doesn't have a ton of experience with women.

543
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 6: I know, he's only been with like a handful of women,

544
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 6: So I I think that's part of it, is he

545
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 6: just gets in his own head because he wants to

546
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 6: be great at it. Like I feel like he's sabotaging

547
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 6: himself almost a little bit. But I don't know how

548
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 6: we get him out of that loop.

549
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 5: Maybe I should do mushrooms together.

550
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: I mean they're all good suggestions, but I think, like

551
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 3: you're clearly into him. You've been with him for six months, right,

552
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 3: you care about him. I mean you can still go

553
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 3: the distance a little bit further to try and find out,

554
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 3: like exactly what it is. But I think he should

555
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 3: be more willing to see a doctor in conjunction with

556
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 3: a therapist so that you can get the ball rolling,

557
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: because six months is a long time to be with

558
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 3: someone and not having like a healthy sex life with them. Yeah,

559
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: I would agree, And don't diminish your needs because of

560
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 3: his Like you're meeting him more than halfway by by

561
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 3: being on top all the time, by being okay with

562
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 3: this whole thing.

563
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 4: Right.

564
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 2: A lot of people wouldn't have stayed.

565
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 3: They would have been like, oh, wait, you're not having

566
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 3: we're not having sex, all right, I'm out. And it's

567
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 3: been six months and it's not been as successful as.

568
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: You would want it.

569
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 3: I think he should be willing to go the distance

570
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,239
Speaker 3: a little bit, you know, deeper, not just say I'm

571
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 3: going to see a doctor, I mean a therapist, because

572
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 3: you're right, that isn't a quick solution.

573
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 2: That's a long term solution.

574
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, taking it step by step, ruling out

575
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: like okay, is it an emotional issue, is it a

576
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: physical issue? And like going step by step down the line.

577
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: The other thing I want to ask too, is are

578
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: you guys thinking like kids in the future, because you know,

579
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: in addition to being a lack of pleasure, this could

580
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 1: be really problematic for that if he doesn't get this figured.

581
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 6: Out right, and that's he actually really wants kids. I'm

582
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 6: sort of undecided on it, but he really wants to

583
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 6: have at least one kid. And that's sort of something

584
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 6: that I've brought up to him, is like we should

585
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 6: kind of like maybe that's another reason why we should

586
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 6: get this checked out now, so that we know if

587
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 6: that's possible for our future.

588
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: Not right. Sometimes it takes a little try in over

589
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: a period of time rather than just a one and done.

590
00:25:59,680 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

591
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think you take off right now. I

592
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 3: think you give it, you know, a little bit more time.

593
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 3: And I like what Catherine said, you know, just like

594
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 3: issue by issue, like okay, rule out this, rule out that,

595
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: but you can you don't have to do that literally

596
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 3: once at a time, you know, you can do that.

597
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: In a succession pace.

598
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 4: Exactly.

599
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: You don't have to wait until he's in therapy for

600
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: six months to be like, Okay, now we're going to

601
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 3: try the doctor.

602
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 4: Exactly.

603
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 3: You should be like a little bit more adamant that

604
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 3: he tried that more, you know, sooner than later.

605
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

606
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, sounds like there's several different layers to it, but

607
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,479
Speaker 5: I think the most important thing is that he's working

608
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 5: on it and taking initiative to work on it.

609
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, he is, And that's he did go ahead and

610
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 6: schedule a therapy appointment. It was like a bunch of

611
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 6: things that sort of happened that the therapist said she

612
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 6: wasn't a good fit for him the first time, and

613
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 6: then he had like a work trip come up that

614
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 6: he had to like a meeting that he had to

615
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 6: be part of that conflicted with the second time he

616
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 6: was supposed to go see the therapist, and then he

617
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 6: just recently had somebody really close in his family pass away.

618
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 6: So it's sort of.

619
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 5: All on the back burner right now.

620
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 6: So I also don't know like how long I should

621
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 6: sort of wait before pushing the issue again, because I

622
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 6: definitely want to be sensitive to the fact that he

623
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 6: just lost somebody and he's dealing with grief. But I

624
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 6: don't know, do you have any advice on that?

625
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you can be sensitive to that, but

626
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: I mean no, I don't.

627
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 3: I honestly I wish I did, because you can be

628
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 3: sensitive to that, But like it just seems like a

629
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 3: world of excuses, Like, you know, people can have sex

630
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: and grief, people can, you know, It's like anything he

631
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 3: can use to make an excuse for him and his

632
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 3: inability to perform.

633
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 2: I think at this point he's.

634
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: Going to take Yeah, so I kind of would say, no,

635
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 3: that's not a great excuse, you know. I mean unless

636
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: he's sitting every day in grief. Is he sitting there

637
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 3: morning every single day?

638
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 4: No?

639
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 2: Right, So, no, I don't think so.

640
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 3: And listen, we talked about this on our podcast, like,

641
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 3: grief is something to always be respected, but it's not

642
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 3: something that takes up your entire day like it comes

643
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 3: in bursts.

644
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 2: It comes in waves, you know.

645
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 3: Yes, the first few weeks and months after someone very

646
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 3: close to you died, it is. It is something where

647
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 3: you could be almost handicapped in terms of being yourself

648
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 3: and being able to physically be out.

649
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: There in the world.

650
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 3: But as far as you know, losing someone you love

651
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 3: that comes in waves, and it's not an excuse really

652
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 3: for anything. You know, it's a temporary kind of pause

653
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 3: you can put on things.

654
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: But no, I don't think so.

655
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: And seeing a therapist during this time is probably something

656
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: that's going to be beneficial anyway.

657
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, so, I mean I'm excited for him to

658
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 6: do that, you know, I'm in therapy. I hope he

659
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 6: gets all the help he needs to feel better about himself.

660
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 6: But I don't know that I'm convinced that that's what

661
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 6: the issue is. I don't know that it's a mental thing.

662
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

663
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 6: I mean I feel like I should just kind of

664
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 6: push a little bit more for him to go see

665
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 6: a doctor.

666
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 2: I think so.

667
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: I think so because out of it, it's about respecting

668
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 3: your relationship. You know, he needs to respect your relationship too.

669
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 3: It's not just about him and his problem. It's also

670
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 3: about you because you're in the relationship.

671
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, pleasure aside, Like I just there's like an

672
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 6: intimacy factor that I feel like is missing from the

673
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 6: relationship that I know we both want. And he's very generous,

674
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 6: like in the bedroom, so don't get me wrong, Like.

675
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: What's he going to be selfish and not able to perform?

676
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 5: I mean yeah, I mean otherwise you're just friends. And

677
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 5: also it's like that's pretty early on to be dealing

678
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 5: with that, you know.

679
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, Okay, Well do you feel like you

680
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: have mark, Like, what you're gonna do?

681
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 2: Do you know what you're gonna do now?

682
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 6: I feel like I definitely have to bring it up

683
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 6: again about him seeing a doctor in conjunction with going

684
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 6: to therapy. But I guess my concern is that at

685
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 6: this point, like I'm so afraid of like making it

686
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 6: worse or saying something like insensitively that I don't even

687
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 6: know how to handle the situation. And when we're like

688
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 6: in the situation, I sort of just shut down. So like,

689
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 6: do it, like I guess, do I address it when

690
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 6: we're not in a situation?

691
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't address it in bed.

692
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 2: No, I agree with that, don't address it in bed.

693
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 3: But I think, listen, it's very good that you are

694
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: thinking about this, because a lot of people would be like,

695
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 3: this is enough, I don't need the sex.

696
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,719
Speaker 2: It's very good that you know what you need and

697
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 2: that you're.

698
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 3: Asking for it. So that's positive already. And I think

699
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 3: you don't say it in the bedroom. You say it

700
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: to him in a loving conversation when you're talking about therapy.

701
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 3: Hopefully you know, bring up the topic of therapy, bring

702
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 3: up the topic of your therapist and what you've been

703
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 3: thinking about, and that in order for you, you know,

704
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 3: not like in an ultimatum way to phrase it or

705
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 3: frame it, but like you want to be sexual with him.

706
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: You like him so much, you want to have a

707
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 3: deeper intimacy with him. The possibilities are endless for how

708
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 3: close you guys can become once you have that kind

709
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 3: of sexual intimacy and like fun playtime. I hate when

710
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 3: people talk about sex as play, but I said that,

711
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,479
Speaker 3: and you know, like all of those things, but also like,

712
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: I actually need more of an effort on your.

713
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 2: Behalf to try and figure this out.

714
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 3: I'm here and I'm waiting, and I'm totally willing to

715
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 3: figure it out with you, but I actually need you

716
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 3: to be a little bit more proactive. Saying you're going

717
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 3: to see a therapist isn't an immediate solution, And what

718
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 3: if there is an immediate solution, you know, we need

719
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 3: you to see a doctor. Maybe we can figure it

720
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 3: out in the meantime and then find out you know,

721
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 3: you can get viagraa you can get see alis or

722
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 3: whatever pairing is best for his medication that he's on,

723
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 3: and just say, you know, you need just him to

724
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 3: demonstrate a little bit more initiative. Yeah, in order for

725
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 3: you to feel secure about where you're headed.

726
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's time to move from like, hey, do you

727
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: think maybe you should see a therapist or a doctor

728
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: or this to like, this is an issue and it

729
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: has a solution, and let's take the steps to find

730
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:39,479
Speaker 1: that solution.

731
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 4: I like that.

732
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 6: That's a that's a good point I could forge.

733
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: And at the front, the front wheel of this conversation

734
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 3: is your desire to be with him in a relationship

735
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 3: long term.

736
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, definitely, And I think it would make both

737
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 6: of us feel more comfortable. It's like, every time we

738
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 6: have this awkward interaction, it just don't like you don't

739
00:31:59,160 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 6: know where.

740
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 4: To go out for that.

741
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 2: No, I know it's so awkward. I get it. I

742
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: have been there, believe me, and not with someone I

743
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 2: really cared about. With plenty of people I didn't exactly good.

744
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 6: I feel like good luck, so much good stuff going

745
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 6: on here, Like I don't just want to give up

746
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 6: on it.

747
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 4: I want to work on No.

748
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: I love it. Female empowerment all the way.

749
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 3: You're asking for what you need and you're being firm

750
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 3: about it, and you're already getting a lot, but you're

751
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 3: not getting everything you need, and you should get everything

752
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: you need, especially in the in the dynamic of this relationship.

753
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 5: And he needs to meet your effort because you're, you know,

754
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 5: being extremely compassionate and understanding and everything. Yeah, yeah, trying

755
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 5: to be.

756
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: And he needs to go down on you a lot.

757
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: All right, Sarah, thank you so much for calling in.

758
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 5: Thank you, Sarah, good luck.

759
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling in.

760
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: Bye.

761
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: That reminds me of a time when I was I

762
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: was in New Zealand performing and I had met this

763
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 3: guy on a boat and and I invited him to

764
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 3: New Zealand to see my show. And then I saw

765
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: him off the boat out of context and I was like,

766
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 3: whoahoa whoa woa in Auckland and he showed up and

767
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 3: I was like I can't fuck this guy, Like I

768
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 3: just can't do it.

769
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 2: And I had never had sex with him.

770
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 3: We just like fooled around on he was like one

771
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 3: of the crew on this boat that my friend, or

772
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 3: yeah he was a crewman. And then when he was

773
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 3: out of his crew outfit, it was not. I was

774
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 3: like they were like Cavalricci jeans or something. And I

775
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 3: just remember looking at his body and being like or

776
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 3: no his outfit and I was like, oh God, like no.

777
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 3: And so I brought him and he had come took

778
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: Auckland to see me, and I was like I have

779
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: to get out of here, like I can't sleep with

780
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: this guy. And so we went up to my hotel room.

781
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, and he just went down on me

782
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 3: like five times jeans exactly, and I was like, ah,

783
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 3: that's a wrap, Like I can't even let you do

784
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 3: that again.

785
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 2: It's too much. And then I checked out of my

786
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: own suite.

787
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: I checked out of my own hotel suite, gave him

788
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 3: the suite so I could just get out of his hair,

789
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: and pretended I had to go home to LA for

790
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: an emergency rehearsal for like the VMA Awards or whatever

791
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 3: the fuck I was doing. I was, I mean it

792
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 3: was and then yeah, so, yeah, guys, I love one.

793
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: When they were like, well he's very generous, like that's

794
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 3: like saying someone's like, of course he's generous.

795
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 2: A bed can't fuck you.

796
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 5: She was patient?

797
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I know. Well women are faatient.

798
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

799
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 3: It took me a long time to not think it

800
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 3: was me or that I was too intimidating. Men do

801
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 3: get nervous. They have to perform. We don't have to

802
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 3: get an erection. We just have to sit there and

803
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 3: take it, you know what I mean.

804
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: We don't really have to.

805
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 3: Perform if we don't feel like it, So they do

806
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 3: have an added pressure. It is interesting that it seems

807
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 3: to be an issue more in recent years for all

808
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 3: men than it has been. So something's going on societally,

809
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 3: and I'm sure it has to do with social media

810
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 3: or sex or porn or whatever.

811
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 1: Right, like Blair was saying, with porn.

812
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, and just like a lower overall quality of health.

813
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 5: I feel like we're all like sedentary sitting inside at screens.

814
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 5: It's not like outside like chopping wood, developing, you know,

815
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 5: healthy muscle in the sun.

816
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 2: Well speak for yourself, Blair.

817
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 5: No, I saw you on I saw you in your bikini.

818
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 5: I was like, this is incredible. This woman is out

819
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 5: in the air just enjoying life. Oh my god.

820
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 2: That's right.

821
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: Well, our next caller is Hayden and she is twenty six.

822
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: Uh.

823
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: It's a bit of a you know, for lack of

824
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: a better term, a journey. So I'm gonna summarize. But

825
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: Hayden is twenty six. She was with her husband since

826
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: she was fourteen. She was a bit unsure about her sexuality,

827
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: and so they decided to bring other women into the bedroom.

828
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: Her husband cheated and then you know, convinced her they

829
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: could work it all out. But then an opportunity arose,

830
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: she says, with one of her closest friends, and they

831
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: did start having threesomes. Well as we can assume, the

832
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: husband and best friend wound up kind of running off together.

833
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: He moved in with her, like the night she confronted

834
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: him about sleeping with his with her best friend without her,

835
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: and so, you know, she feels like none of this

836
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 1: should have happened. She's angry and heartbroken. And meanwhile they're

837
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 1: now going on trips and doing things that were originally

838
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: planned for the two of them and just openly enjoying

839
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 1: their life together. So she says, how do I move forward?

840
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: How do I trust anyone ever again? I want to

841
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: be my best self and get healthy before starting to

842
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: date again. But I'm a human and I'm lonely, and

843
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 1: I miss the companionship so much. I liked being married,

844
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: but even just being someone's girlfriend seems so far away.

845
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of hookups, but I'm not satisfied

846
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: in that realm.

847
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 2: Hayden, Hi, Hayden, Hi, nice to meet you, Hie Hi Hayden.

848
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 2: That's Blair.

849
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 4: Hi Blair.

850
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that that happens to you.

851
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 4: Thank you. It's it's been a rough ride.

852
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,280
Speaker 2: When did this happen?

853
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 8: This happened last year at the very end of June,

854
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 8: is when we separated.

855
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: And they're still together. And are you divorced or what?

856
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 8: Yeah, we're legally divorced now and yes they are still together.

857
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,720
Speaker 2: Yeah that hurts a lot. Yeah, And are you in therapy?

858
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 4: I am, yes, thankfully.

859
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 2: And how is that helping you?

860
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 4: Therapy is helping a lot.

861
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 8: Just realizing there was a lot of other unhealthy things

862
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 8: throughout the relationship and being so young and getting together

863
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 8: definitely created.

864
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 4: A dynamic that as an adult, I don't think I want.

865
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are all good things to recognize.

866
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 3: It's funny when things like this happen, you realize, like

867
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 3: it's not that that's not the only incident. It's always

868
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 3: something deeper and that there was already a lack of

869
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 3: connection or trust or you know, something wasn't right to

870
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 3: begin with. But I think it's these things that happened

871
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 3: to us in our lives are big tests for us

872
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 3: to see if we.

873
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 2: Can level up and we can meet the moment.

874
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 3: And it's always interesting to see how to people handle

875
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 3: these kind of emotional takedowns that we experience. And you're

876
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 3: in therapy, you now have some distance and time from it.

877
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 3: Not as much as you're gonna get and as much

878
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 3: as you want, I'm sure, but you have enough distance

879
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 3: to even recognize that the relationship wasn't what you thought

880
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 3: it may have been. You're divorced. Your kind of side

881
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 3: of the street is pretty clean. You didn't cause any

882
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 3: of this disruption. You kind of participated in something that

883
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 3: ended your marriage, and I think that you learned a

884
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 3: lot and that moving forward, you're going to have all

885
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 3: this whole new kind of toolkit, especially with all the

886
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 3: things you're picking up from therapy, which I'm sure are

887
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 3: vast right, all of the different ways to deal with

888
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 3: stress or the ways to deal with sadness and the aloneness,

889
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,720
Speaker 3: because right now you're missing something that you really didn't

890
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: have to begin with. You know, you thought you had

891
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 3: and you can have with someone else now that you're

892
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 3: more aware and more tuned into what you need in

893
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: a relationship, Like how do you now feel about moving

894
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: forward in a relationship, opening up the relationship, and how

895
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 3: having threesomes?

896
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 2: Would you do that again?

897
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,359
Speaker 4: No? Right? Never again? Right?

898
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 3: So you know, I mean, this is a very common

899
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 3: thing that happens. It's not the reason why your relationship

900
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 3: had its demise, but it's a very common thing that happens,

901
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 3: and I think you you have to like look at

902
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 3: this time as like, Okay, I'm like, it's almost like

903
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 3: an armor, but it's not a defensive armor. It's like

904
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 3: a protective like you're filling yourself up with all the

905
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 3: tools and all.

906
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 2: Like the energetic vibrations.

907
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 3: You need to move forward into your life in a

908
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 3: more positive, healthy, and more joyful direction. Like that's done,

909
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,399
Speaker 3: and that's over, and thank god it's over, because now

910
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: you can open up to the possibilities of everything else.

911
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 3: And I would really encourage you to try to start

912
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 3: meditating in order to stay in the moment that you're

913
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 3: in instead of thinking about all of the stuff that

914
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 3: happened in the past or what's possible in the future.

915
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 3: Because as present as you can be is going to

916
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:57,280
Speaker 3: be the biggest kind of therapeutic aid in moving forward.

917
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: As present as you can be, whether you're upset one

918
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 3: day or you're happy the next day, or you have

919
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: a bad date or you have a good date, be

920
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 3: present with all of those emotions, because that takes you

921
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 3: in to the moment you're in and then it the

922
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 3: past and the future kind of become irrelevant.

923
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 4: That's such good advice, honest. Yeah.

924
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 3: So I think I think download a meditation app if

925
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: you don't have one already that is really about mindfulness

926
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 3: and being present, because I have to. I was just

927
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 3: writing about this in my book, Like the most blissful

928
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 3: moments I've experienced in my life were because I was

929
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 3: paying attention to what was happening, good and bad.

930
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, yeah, And I think when you have a

931
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 5: big betrayal like that, it's really sometimes, uh, it's it's

932
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 5: much more difficult not to be like they did this

933
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 5: to me. And then I think, like whenever I've been

934
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 5: really really hurt after a breakup, I go into sort

935
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 5: of like Avengers mode where I'm just like, Okay, how

936
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 5: can I make myself happy? What have I been wanting

937
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 5: to do that I haven't gotten to? What trip have

938
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 5: I been wanting to do? What goal have I been

939
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 5: wanting to? What have I been wanting to write? And

940
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 5: just like try and fill up that vacuum too, of

941
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 5: like you know, making reminding myself what makes me happy,

942
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 5: trying new stuff, like trying to bring newness into my

943
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 5: own life, Like even though you're sad, fine, find things

944
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 5: that can bring you joy and make and make you happy.

945
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 1: And having been with your husband since you.

946
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,959
Speaker 4: Were what fourteen fourteen, Yeah, you grew up.

947
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: In this way where you were like figuring out who

948
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: you were with him, you know, it was always in

949
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: the context of this other person. Now you get to

950
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 1: figure out what you like, what does bring you joy

951
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: without another person, Like what's just like your straight up

952
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: like this is kind of fun, you know, discovering that

953
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: on a day to day basis. I think it's going

954
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 1: to be really a revelation if you pay attention, as

955
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 1: Blair and Chelsea were.

956
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 8: Saying, yeah, definitely. I mean it's been hard, but I

957
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 8: have learned a lot and I do think in a

958
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 8: lot of realms.

959
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,240
Speaker 4: I'm happier on.

960
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,479
Speaker 8: This side than I was looking back.

961
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 2: But and you're only going to get happier.

962
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 3: You're getting happy and now you're going to get happier

963
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: and enjoy this singletom.

964
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: You're not going to be single forever.

965
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 3: It's rare that anybody is so enjoy this time getting

966
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 3: to know yourself and invest in yourself with everything that

967
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: Blair said, you know, books and exercise and finding out

968
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 3: what interests you and you know, whatever that is, art,

969
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: culture or fucking women's volleyball, whatever you're into, just get

970
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 3: into it, you know what I mean, and pour yourself

971
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 3: into that because you're going to get so much back

972
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: from actually like finding out who you are now that

973
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 3: you don't have this person that is like making up

974
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 3: half of your personality so to speak.

975
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're still so young, like you can fully reinvent

976
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 5: yourself if you feel like it. You know, you can

977
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 5: make it like whatever you want it to be.

978
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very true.

979
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 8: I'm just trying to figure out what that looks like,

980
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 8: what exactly I want.

981
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 4: But I just have to give it time.

982
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 3: Give it time, give it space, and be very gentle

983
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 3: with yourself. But if like you know, start this meditation

984
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 3: practice and just do this every morning just to ground

985
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 3: yourself for the day, be like, okay, today's another day

986
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 3: where I'm going to find out something new about myself.

987
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 3: Like set that kind of intention for yourself. And if

988
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 3: you practice, you know, like I promise you, after two weeks,

989
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 3: you're going to start to feel differently.

990
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 2: There's going to be a shift in you.

991
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 3: It's impossible not to feel it when you really dedicate

992
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 3: yourself to something.

993
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: And I think that's just what you need.

994
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 4: Okay, after this, I will download one for sure.

995
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: Okay, I love it. Keep us posted, Okay.

996
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 4: I will thank you guys so much.

997
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 2: Bye, Hayden, thanks for calling in.

998
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 4: Bye guys.

999
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 5: My brother's name is Hayden, and I really had a

1000
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 5: heart attack for a second.

1001
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 2: We're doing an intervention. He's going to confront you about

1002
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 2: your iowascad use. He thinks you've done it too many times. Yeah,

1003
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:45,879
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, I know. Wait till you wait

1004
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 2: till your parents hear this. They're calling in next.

1005
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: Well, our next color is Jane and Blair. Are you

1006
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: somebody who smokes weed at all? Since we just want

1007
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: to tell your parents everything.

1008
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I'm a gummy girl. Sometimes.

1009
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 3: Where have you ever done anal? I think that's also

1010
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 3: something we want to make sure your parents know about.

1011
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 5: Yes, I haven't. I don't think I'm gonna get there.

1012
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: But you don't think you'd like that, Jane says, Dear Chelsea.

1013
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 1: My sister in law is the worst. My brother and

1014
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: this nightmare have been married for seven years now and

1015
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: they have three beautiful children whom I adore. My mom, sister,

1016
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: brother and I have always been very close. My sister

1017
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: in law seems to resent this aspect of our family,

1018
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: as she grew up in a very different situation, leaving

1019
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,280
Speaker 1: her with some serious attachment issues. She's very, very attached

1020
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 1: to my brother. Although, to be fair, my brother is

1021
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 1: a fucking catch. He had his years of overdoing it

1022
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,240
Speaker 1: when he was drinking and a bit of a temper,

1023
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 1: but he's a really great guy that any girl would

1024
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: be lucky to have. In the last year or two,

1025
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: my brother has stopped drinking, which has been great for

1026
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: him and for their relationship. He has, however, started up

1027
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 1: a new habit of using marijuana. I'm the youngest in

1028
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: my family and have always been a big of the

1029
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: weed and was looked down upon because of it. He

1030
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 1: says he's much calmer and present with his family three

1031
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: little kids, and doesn't fly off the handle when he's frustrated.

1032
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: He and his coworker will enjoy an end of day

1033
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 1: joint on the way home to unwind and relax before

1034
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 1: they both have to go home to kids and questions, responsibilities,

1035
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: and all the things. His outwardly liberal wife is now

1036
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 1: giving him an ultimatum, family or the weed. My brother

1037
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 1: has obviously said he would pick his family every time,

1038
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: but how can we help educate her on marijuana's benefits.

1039
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: He's not coming home hammered, drunk and pissed off. He's

1040
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: floating on a cloud of happiness. Please help. I'd love

1041
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: for them to call it quits, but for the sake

1042
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 1: of their family, I'd like for her to get some

1043
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: education and open her mind to the ways it's benefiting

1044
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: their relationship.

1045
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 5: Hi.

1046
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 4: How are you. I'm good? How are you?

1047
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 2: I'm good? Thank you. This is Blair, our special guest today.

1048
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 5: Hello.

1049
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, she does need to get educated on marijuana. What's

1050
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: the best education for marijuana, Catherine.

1051
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: I mean, there are a lot of documentaries on This

1052
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: is Clearing the Smoke on YouTube, The Cannabis Question, and

1053
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 1: The Grass is Greener on Netflix, Weed the People, which

1054
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 1: I think is also on YouTube, and the CBC, which

1055
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 1: is great. Of course, they have a series called The

1056
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: Nature of Things, and they have an awesome episode called

1057
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 1: Science and Cannabis. You know, I would encourage her to

1058
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: kind of take a look at some of these things

1059
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: and reach her own conclusions.

1060
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: I mean, it's kind of everywhere.

1061
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: It is kind of everywhere. I would even say, How

1062
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,359
Speaker 1: to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan is a great

1063
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: Buck it's more about psychedelics, but he does address weed

1064
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 1: and how it affects your brain specifically. That would be

1065
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: a good resource.

1066
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, she needs like some sort of wake up call,

1067
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 3: like her husband quit drinking.

1068
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 2: To smoke weed is so much better.

1069
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's better for you in every way.

1070
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: What's her problem? Get backs?

1071
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's the biggest thing with her, Like she just

1072
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 7: needs to relax. So she's so uptight and she's so

1073
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 7: like worried about what other people think. And we are

1074
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 7: from a pretty small town, so it's like you don't

1075
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 7: know what anyone else's lives are, like their husbands, your

1076
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 7: friend's husbands that you see on social media having these

1077
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 7: great lives and whatever, Like your husband's not doing anything terrible,

1078
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 7: and she just needs to relax.

1079
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean refer to Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey,

1080
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 3: Like do they seem like threatening people? They're both stoners, right,

1081
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 3: I mean start with that, and I mean everyone smokes

1082
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 3: weed now, it's just so lame to have to even

1083
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: educate somebody about the benefits of marijuana.

1084
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,280
Speaker 2: Whatever. I mean, is she happy that he quit quit drinking?

1085
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yep, because I think that was one thing

1086
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 7: that she also did, the whole ultimatum thing like quit

1087
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 7: this or me and the kids are gone. And it's

1088
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 7: like that's just not the way to have a relationship.

1089
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 7: That's not healthy to constantly be like do this or

1090
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 7: I'm gone, or like they just need to go to

1091
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:56,720
Speaker 7: like therapy.

1092
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah they do. They do need to go to therapy.

1093
00:47:58,560 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 2: Do they go to therapy?

1094
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 4: No?

1095
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 7: She well used to and they just really need you.

1096
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, they should go to a couples counseling to discuss it,

1097
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 3: because it's not like he's smoking five joints tonight, right.

1098
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 7: Right, yeah, And he's even cut down since I wrote

1099
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 7: it in. But she's so rigid in everything.

1100
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 1: Sounds like she needs to smoke a little weed.

1101
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 6: Actually, yes, yeah.

1102
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 1: I do wonder if there is is maybe something that

1103
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: she changes her mind about over time. It may not be,

1104
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: but I wonder if it's something that you can kind

1105
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: of drop into conversations about, like some of the benefits.

1106
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: I mean, people use this as medicine. It is something

1107
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 1: that reduces anxiety for a lot of people. And I

1108
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: wonder maybe if it's about educating yourself on some of

1109
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: like the specific studies that have been done and that

1110
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: you can kind of drop into conversation here and there

1111
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: about like, oh, here are some of the benefits.

1112
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer a few

1113
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 7: years ago and she's gone through chemone radiation and used

1114
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 7: medical marijuana. She used are A soul oil for a while.

1115
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 7: And so it's like, how is this judgment coming to

1116
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 7: my brother?

1117
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 2: Can you have a conversation with her?

1118
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 4: Or no?

1119
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 2: Does that not go well?

1120
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,439
Speaker 7: I'm not usually the one that brings it up. It's

1121
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 7: my older sister she will bring it up. And I

1122
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 7: guess we've been avoidant of that because they have kind

1123
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 7: of butted heads this entire time.

1124
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 5: Yeah. I have older brothers and you know, they're married

1125
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 5: and everything, and what I've learned is that it never

1126
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 5: goes well. Like the more you stay out of their relationship, like,

1127
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 5: the better it is, because if anyone feels ganged up on,

1128
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 5: you know, if she's feeling ganged up on, because you know,

1129
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 5: you can feel those things sometimes. So I don't know

1130
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,359
Speaker 5: if that's helpful, but maybe maybe you're just like se

1131
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 5: La Vie, you know, like they'll work it out.

1132
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:53,959
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1133
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't sound like you have the relationship

1134
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 2: to have the conversation with her.

1135
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 5: Excuse me, I would love to educate you want the

1136
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 5: incredible benefits about marijuana, so you can let my brother

1137
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 5: just puff that jay on his way home.

1138
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: Is there anything specific that she objects to or does

1139
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 1: she She just doesn't like the whole idea.

1140
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 7: That's what makes it even weirder. It's like this kind

1141
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 7: of just popped up when he started. Seems like a

1142
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 7: control thing, and she's never outwardly said anything that she

1143
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 7: disagrees about it with It's just like the minute he

1144
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,240
Speaker 7: did it, it's wrong.

1145
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 5: How about next time she comes over, you just have

1146
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 5: like platters full of joints everywhere.

1147
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 7: I like that idea.

1148
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, thank you for calling in, Jane.

1149
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1150
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: Okay, take care, good luck, Jane.

1151
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 3: We'll see Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll

1152
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 3: be right back and we're back wrapping it up with

1153
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 3: Blair Saki Clair, thank you for coming on today. It

1154
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 3: was such a pleasure to meet you. I hope I

1155
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 3: see you again in person.

1156
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, this is it's just a thrill. I'm

1157
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 5: so happy I got to hang out with you.

1158
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: I love me too. I love you too, honey. Thank

1159
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 2: you so much. Thank you, okay, thank you okay, guys,

1160
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 2: so for stand up.

1161
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 3: And I'm coming to Maricopa, Arizona April twelfth, and then Brooks,

1162
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 3: California is April thirteenth. And we added a second show

1163
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 3: in Sydney. And we added a second show in Prior Lake, Minnesota,

1164
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 3: which is now going to be May twenty fourth. We

1165
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 3: added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I

1166
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 3: performed there last year. That's August seventeenth, the Santa Barbara Bowl.

1167
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 3: We added a second show at Santa Rosa on August second,

1168
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 3: and we added two dates at Hawaii. Guys, I'm coming

1169
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: to Hawaii on July nineteenth to.

1170
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 2: CA Who Louis. I'm going to be at CA Who Louis.

1171
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 2: And then I'm coming on July twenty at to Honolulu.

1172
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,359
Speaker 3: And oh I just added another date on August first Auburn, Washington. So,

1173
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 3: and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up,

1174
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 3: and I will be announcing a European tour shortly, so.

1175
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 2: I will be coming there. And I'm coming to Oklahoma.

1176
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 2: I have two dates in Oklahoma.

1177
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 3: May third, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, and

1178
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 3: May fourth, I'll.

1179
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:24,320
Speaker 2: Be in Thackerville, Oklahoma, So Oklahomians, Oklahomaans, Oklaham's come bye.

1180
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1181
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1182
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1183
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

1184
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our march at Chelseahandler dot

1185
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: com