Speaker 1: I guess what, mango? What's that? Will? So, a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, you quoted this old deep thought by
Speaker 1: Jack Handy and it took me by surprise. Do you
Speaker 1: remember doing this? So I don't remember what we were
Speaker 1: talking about, but I definitely remember quoting Deep Thoughts, and
Speaker 1: I think it was like the face of a child
Speaker 1: can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Speaker 1: That is definitely the one that was one of my favorites,
Speaker 1: although it's hard to pick a favorite, And honestly, it
Speaker 1: had been a few years since i'd really binged on
Speaker 1: Deep Thoughts, and I feel like that's the only way
Speaker 1: to experience them, like you have to read a hundred
Speaker 1: at a time, and so I was a little bit
Speaker 1: overdue for this. And for any listeners who might not
Speaker 1: remember Deep Thoughts, they were these silly and stupid one
Speaker 1: liners that were delivered as though they were these inspirational
Speaker 1: and meaningful pieces of advice. And you know, Jack Candy
Speaker 1: actually been writing these since the mid eighties, but I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure you and I both discovered them when Handy
Speaker 1: would read them on Saturday Night Live. Is that is
Speaker 1: that where you first heard them? Yeah, definitely, that's when
Speaker 1: when I was first exposed to him. Yeah, so this
Speaker 1: was the early nineties. I guess we were both in
Speaker 1: middle school at the time. And I thought about another
Speaker 1: one when Tristan was wearing these fancy kicks the other day.
Speaker 1: He's got lots and lots of shoes, but he had
Speaker 1: some some really fancy ones on, and so I thought
Speaker 1: about this when it said before you criticize someone, you
Speaker 1: should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when
Speaker 1: you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and
Speaker 1: you're in their shoes. So stupid. I love that, but
Speaker 1: it's kind of good advice. I guess it definitely is.
Speaker 1: And actually, one of the other things I noticed is
Speaker 1: that there was more than one deep thought about pirates weirdly,
Speaker 1: but I think my favorite was pirates were always going
Speaker 1: around searching for treasure and never realized the real treasure
Speaker 1: was the fond memories they were creating. Well, I do
Speaker 1: feel like you're reading that is a sign because we've
Speaker 1: been talking about doing an episode on pirates for such
Speaker 1: a long time now, we definitely have. I mean that
Speaker 1: that's how we knew it was time to do this,
Speaker 1: because we've been keeping this list of all the pirate
Speaker 1: stereotypes and I wanted to know what of them are
Speaker 1: actually true and you know, like we're pirates anything like
Speaker 1: the ones that we see in the movies. Did they
Speaker 1: actually say stuff like shiver mey timbers or buried treasure?
Speaker 1: Or did they really carry around monkeys and parrots? And
Speaker 1: my god, I hope that they did. But it's time
Speaker 1: to find out, So let's dive in. Hey, their podcast listeners,
Speaker 1: welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm Will Pearson, and as
Speaker 1: always I'm joined by my friend man Guesh Ticketer and
Speaker 1: on the other side of the soundproof glass, I actually
Speaker 1: don't know what Tristan is doing today. I am up
Speaker 1: in New York. I'm in my hotel room, in this
Speaker 1: very fancy studio, which is just my ask in my
Speaker 1: hotel room. So it may not sound as great as
Speaker 1: Tristan usually makes it sound, but mano, I gotta know
Speaker 1: what is Tristan doing. So he did not disappoint. He
Speaker 1: showed up in a total pirate Halloween costume. Um, he's
Speaker 1: got everything. He's got an ipatch, a bandanna, try corner hat,
Speaker 1: he's got hoop earrings, he's got a stuffed parrot. On
Speaker 1: his shoulder, and he even has a try corner hat
Speaker 1: for his stuffed parrots. I'm not sure how true to
Speaker 1: life that part is, but it is a nice touch.
Speaker 1: So well done, Tristan McNeil. Oh wow. And actually, I
Speaker 1: just as we're talking, I just got a text from
Speaker 1: Ramsey's showing me a picture of Tristan. This is amazing.
Speaker 1: I mean, you could say every part of his costume
Speaker 1: is pretty much in line with the way that we
Speaker 1: conceive of pirates, because I mean, I guess this is
Speaker 1: how we're used to seeing them in books and pop culture.
Speaker 1: So thank you Tristan for furthering this stereotype of pirates.
Speaker 1: But it does make us wonder like, how much, if
Speaker 1: any of this is actually true. And I don't just
Speaker 1: mean how pirates dressed in real life, but how they
Speaker 1: acted to Like, on the one hand, parrots we see
Speaker 1: in movies and theme parks off and come off as
Speaker 1: these really these charming and kind of rough around the
Speaker 1: edges folk heroes, almost like Robin Hoods of the Sea
Speaker 1: or something. Yeah. I mean, do you think about like
Speaker 1: Wesley from The Princess Bride and he's just kind of
Speaker 1: a gentleman pirate. Yeah, that's that's exactly right. And you know,
Speaker 1: when you read these historical accounts and pirates mostly though
Speaker 1: sound like these bloodthirsty outlaws, it's a bit of a
Speaker 1: mixed message. So with today's show, we thought it would
Speaker 1: be fun to try to make sense of the competing
Speaker 1: pirate narratives and to do that will fact check some
Speaker 1: of the biggest stereotypes we typically associate with pirates and
Speaker 1: see which ones hold water. And then a little bit
Speaker 1: later we'll separate pirate truth from pirate fiction when we
Speaker 1: share a few of our all time favorite pirates stories. So, Mago,
Speaker 1: you want to kick us off, like what pirate cliche
Speaker 1: do you feel like we should start with today? Well,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it. You know, it was international
Speaker 1: talk like a Pirate Day not too long ago, and
Speaker 1: while I did manage to slip a few hours into
Speaker 1: my conversation this year, I also, you know, I couldn't
Speaker 1: help feeling like a little bit of a phony since
Speaker 1: I actually have no idea how pirates talked, and as
Speaker 1: it turns out, nobody does. So piracy was as peaked
Speaker 1: during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, so there aren't really
Speaker 1: any audio recordings to refer to, and the witness accounts
Speaker 1: that we do have only include kind of a handful
Speaker 1: of quotes from actual pirates. What about writing from the pirates?
Speaker 1: I mean, it feels like there's got to be at
Speaker 1: least one pirate autobiography floating around out there, wouldn't there be? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Actually there really aren't. There. There isn't much of a
Speaker 1: record of anything written by pirates themselves. Blackbeards supposedly kept
Speaker 1: a diary of all the exploits, but that's never been recovered.
Speaker 1: And so the little bit of writing we do have
Speaker 1: from actual pirates comes mostly from the ones who started
Speaker 1: out as nobility before going rogue, and since they tend
Speaker 1: to be really well educated, their speech patterns probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: have mimiced those of most pirates anyway. So, you know,
Speaker 1: you think about all the talk of salty dogs and
Speaker 1: scally wags and pirates inviting folks to shiver me timbers
Speaker 1: whatever means, But like, none of those are phrases that
Speaker 1: pirates actually used. Yeah, probably not. I mean, like I
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier, there's no real evidence one way or the other,
Speaker 1: but most scholars think English speaking pirates from the so
Speaker 1: called Golden Age of piracy probably spoke the same way
Speaker 1: merchant sailors did at the time. A lot of both
Speaker 1: of the people in these groups came from a riverfront
Speaker 1: neighborhoods in London, so it's likely they spoke with similar
Speaker 1: accents and used common slang. But sadly you don't really
Speaker 1: see shiver me timbers coming up in in much of
Speaker 1: that discussion. That's a real disappointment. But I'm guessing the
Speaker 1: pirate jargon we're used to mostly comes from books and movies, right,
Speaker 1: stuff like Treasure Island or Peter Pan. I guess yeah,
Speaker 1: And Treasure Island in particular is the one that will
Speaker 1: come off a lot today. A lot of the phrases
Speaker 1: we connect with pirates were first popularized by the book
Speaker 1: in eighteen eighty three, and then again in Disney's movie
Speaker 1: adaptation in the nineteen fifties. And actually the movie version
Speaker 1: is also credited for our association of pirates with these
Speaker 1: gruff and vaguely Scottish accents, and that's because it starred
Speaker 1: Robert Newman as the fictional pirate Long John Silver. So
Speaker 1: Newman was a native of southwest England, and as such
Speaker 1: he spoke with this really distinctive regional dialect called West
Speaker 1: Country English, and some of the dialect's characteristics line up
Speaker 1: perfectly with how most of us imagined pirates to have talked. So,
Speaker 1: for example, West Country speakers tend to emphasize their rs.
Speaker 1: They also replaced the verb is with b, which is,
Speaker 1: you know, a decidedly pirate move when you think of
Speaker 1: constructions like where be the rum? And if that wasn't enough,
Speaker 1: West Country speakers are even known to replace the word
Speaker 1: yes with our sometimes huh. So our conception of pirate
Speaker 1: speech seems to be pretty arbitrary when you when you
Speaker 1: break it down like this, I mean, if it really
Speaker 1: does go back to just that one performance. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: Newman's role in Treasure Island wasn't his only one as
Speaker 1: a pirate. He also appeared in a couple of other
Speaker 1: pirate movies in the era, and it was all of
Speaker 1: this together that started to influence other people's portrayal of pirates,
Speaker 1: until finally the West Country accent just became the standard.
Speaker 1: And while it might seem random that Southwest English accent
Speaker 1: would become the de facto voice, there's actually more of
Speaker 1: a historical connection than you might expect. So just listen
Speaker 1: to this explanation I found on slate quote. It's not
Speaker 1: entirely arbitrary that Newton should have used an exaggeration of
Speaker 1: his own dialect to play long John Silver. The West Country,
Speaker 1: the southwest corner of England, including Cornwall, Somerset, Devon, Dorset
Speaker 1: and Bristol, has a long seafaring tradition, and so many
Speaker 1: historical pirates would likely have spoken in a similar way.
Speaker 1: Both Blackbeard and Sir Francis Drake were from that area,
Speaker 1: although Sir Francis was technically a privateer. But perhaps the
Speaker 1: most famous inhabitant of the West Country is Hagrid from
Speaker 1: the Harry Potter series. Can't you just imagine Haggard saying
Speaker 1: you're a pirate? Harry end quote? Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: can easily imagine that, And I actually can't believe that
Speaker 1: I've never made that connection before, because Haggard totally sounds
Speaker 1: like a pirate or yeah, fictional one, I guess. But
Speaker 1: you know, there is some evidence that pirates really did
Speaker 1: have their own unique way of speaking, including some bits
Speaker 1: of nautical lingo that eventually found their way into popular usage.
Speaker 1: And now the origin of these phrases can be pretty
Speaker 1: tough to pin down, but there are at least a
Speaker 1: few that are thought to have come from pirates and privateers, including,
Speaker 1: you know, learn the ropes, and of course three sheets
Speaker 1: to the wind. And the first of these came from
Speaker 1: the need for sailors to understand how to use the
Speaker 1: complex system of ropes and pulleys that controlled the ship's sails,
Speaker 1: so they would literally have to learn the ropes. And
Speaker 1: so was three sheets to the wind just as literal?
Speaker 1: Or was that a term for being super drunk like
Speaker 1: how we use it today? This one was actually pretty
Speaker 1: literal too, And and actually the original phrase pirates used
Speaker 1: was three sheets in the wind, not to it. And
Speaker 1: and so you might guess that the sheets in question
Speaker 1: were the sails on a ship, but actually they were
Speaker 1: the ropes that controlled those sails. So apparently if three
Speaker 1: or more ropes became loose, the sales would start flapping,
Speaker 1: and then the crew can lose control of where the
Speaker 1: ship's headed. So if somebody's really drunk, they're just as
Speaker 1: out of control as a ship with three sheets and
Speaker 1: the wind m So another question I was eager to
Speaker 1: answer is whether or not pirates really hid buried treasure.
Speaker 1: And while it does seem like this happened on occasion,
Speaker 1: it was definitely not a widespread practice, and in fact,
Speaker 1: I could only find a couple of historical accounts of
Speaker 1: pirates actually burying their loot, and even in those cases,
Speaker 1: the pirates only hit it for a short period while
Speaker 1: they waited for the heat from their latest tist to
Speaker 1: die down. In fact, pirate treasure never stayed buried for long,
Speaker 1: and they certainly didn't circulate a bunch of treasure maps
Speaker 1: with big red xs on them for people to go
Speaker 1: looking for it. And that's partly because pirates didn't really
Speaker 1: deal in treasure chests full of gold or pieces of
Speaker 1: eight or whatever you like to imagine like. Instead, when
Speaker 1: pirates looted chips, they were stealing things like coffee and
Speaker 1: sugar and tea and textiles like whatever those ships were in,
Speaker 1: and then they would sell those spoils on the black market,
Speaker 1: and that's how they'd end up with the pirate gold
Speaker 1: we associate with them. But even then, once pirates had
Speaker 1: all this golden hand, they weren't super frugal or forward
Speaker 1: thinking enough to invest it. Instead, you know, according to
Speaker 1: this maritime historian named David Accordingly, pirates typically blew their
Speaker 1: loot on drinking, gambling, and women as soon as they
Speaker 1: got to port. Yeah, I mean, I'd say that fits
Speaker 1: with the pirate lifestyle a lot more than squirreling away
Speaker 1: your money. And you know, I mean I think about this,
Speaker 1: burying treasure would effectively be like putting your money in
Speaker 1: a bank, and I don't know, banking doesn't strike me
Speaker 1: as this very piratey thing to do. But exactly anyway,
Speaker 1: I mean, this idea of buried treasure had to come
Speaker 1: from somewhere, though, So do you do you think it
Speaker 1: just spawn out of those few scattered accounts that you found?
Speaker 1: I mean, that's why I thought at first, But it
Speaker 1: turns out this is another case that's rooted less in
Speaker 1: history and more in treasure Island. So in the book,
Speaker 1: long John Silver is on the hunt for a stash
Speaker 1: of hidden gold, and of course a secret treasure man
Speaker 1: is the key to finding it. But what's funny is
Speaker 1: that Robert Louis Stevenson didn't actually invent this idea, and
Speaker 1: he didn't base it on real life either. Instead, he
Speaker 1: flat out stole the idea from another seventeenth century author,
Speaker 1: Edgar Allan Poe. Poh really, yeah, So It comes from
Speaker 1: post short story The gold Bug, and the main characters
Speaker 1: hunt down Captain Kid's treasure using a cipher that's based
Speaker 1: on how frequently certain letters appeared in the English language
Speaker 1: in this story. And this is pretty much the same
Speaker 1: premise as in Treasure Island, except Stevenson substituted a map
Speaker 1: in place of the cipher, and the author later copped
Speaker 1: this too, like like in his preface to the book,
Speaker 1: he said, quote, the map was the chief part of
Speaker 1: my plot. For that I broke into the gallery of
Speaker 1: Mr Poe. M alright, Well, a pattern is definitely starting
Speaker 1: to emerge here because I actually have another pirate stereotype
Speaker 1: that we can at least partly thank Treasure Island for,
Speaker 1: And that's the idea that pirates made people walk the plank.
Speaker 1: Not to be fair, plank walking did ex is among
Speaker 1: pirates to some degree, but most historians will tell you
Speaker 1: that it was a pretty rare form of punishment. Now,
Speaker 1: the most recognizable example of the practice occurred in the
Speaker 1: mid eighteen hundreds, I think, and this was when an
Speaker 1: eyewitness reported that a British ship captain had been abducted
Speaker 1: by pirates and that quote, a plank was run on
Speaker 1: the starboard side of their schooner, upon which they made
Speaker 1: Captain Smith walk, and as he approached the end, they
Speaker 1: tilted the plank when he dropped into the seat. Now
Speaker 1: beyond that, we know that some Caribbean pirates also forced
Speaker 1: captured sailors to walk the plank, and there even some
Speaker 1: accounts of Mediterranean pirates taking part in something similar back
Speaker 1: in the days of ancient Rome. In this case, the
Speaker 1: pirates would suspend a ladder out over the ocean and
Speaker 1: then mockingly invite prisoners to crawl out on it and
Speaker 1: swim back home to freedom. That seems pretty cruel, But
Speaker 1: I'm curious how does Treasure Island fit into all of this. Basically,
Speaker 1: Robert Louis Stevenson and a few other writers of his
Speaker 1: air are mostly responsible for making plank walking, you know,
Speaker 1: more ubiquitous than it really was, and their stories presented
Speaker 1: as kind of the go to form of punishment that
Speaker 1: pirates used, and this idea was only enforced by popular
Speaker 1: illustrations and paintings from this same time period. Now all
Speaker 1: of that really cemented. Plank walking is one of the
Speaker 1: visual icons of piracy, and the interesting thing about this
Speaker 1: misplaced attention is that it actually makes some pirates seem
Speaker 1: less cruel than they really were, because the pirates really
Speaker 1: wanted to do away with a mutinous crew member or
Speaker 1: a troublesome captive. I mean, they had far worse methods
Speaker 1: than simply forcing somebody overboard. And you know, some of
Speaker 1: the more common practices included marooning someone onto an island,
Speaker 1: which almost always resulted in a slow death for the victim.
Speaker 1: Then there was the especially grizzly punishment called keel hauling,
Speaker 1: and this was when the victim was tied naked to
Speaker 1: a rope, thrown overboard, and then just tragically dragged beneath
Speaker 1: the entire length of the ship while barnacles cut up
Speaker 1: their skin. It's it's pretty gross to read about it. It
Speaker 1: It feels horrible. In fact, I want to get us
Speaker 1: on have your note A S A P. So I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna come right out and tell you that pirates
Speaker 1: almost certainly kept parrots as pets. And so this is
Speaker 1: another pirate trope that was popularized by a treasure Island
Speaker 1: long John Silver was the first fictional pirate to walk
Speaker 1: around with a parrot on his shoulder, but in this case,
Speaker 1: Stevenson was really drawing from history. So to give a
Speaker 1: little background when we talk about the Golden Age of piracy,
Speaker 1: which I still find such a funny phrase to say,
Speaker 1: you know, we're really referring to this period from about
Speaker 1: the mid sixteen hundreds to round seventeen thirty. And in
Speaker 1: that time, the recent discoveries of the America's in Australia
Speaker 1: had created a boom and exploration. So for the first
Speaker 1: time in history, multiple nations were shipping tons and tons
Speaker 1: of money and valuable goods all across this largely uncharted
Speaker 1: and unprotected oceans, and of course this made them easy
Speaker 1: picking for enterprising pirates, hence the term Golden Age. But
Speaker 1: in order to rob ships of their precious cargo, pirates
Speaker 1: had to go where the ships went, which meant taking
Speaker 1: to trade routes that mostly led to the Caribbean or
Speaker 1: West Africa or the various coasts along the Indian Ocean.
Speaker 1: And this required long voyages that lasted weeks or months
Speaker 1: at a time and often took the pirates to these
Speaker 1: exotic lands populated by unusual animals like parrots and also monkeys.
Speaker 1: So let's get to the important part. Please tell me
Speaker 1: that the monkey thing is true? Because the world is
Speaker 1: kind of a rough place right now, and I feel
Speaker 1: like it would make me feel better to know that
Speaker 1: a pirate captain could have had a parrot on one
Speaker 1: shoulder and a monkey on the other one. So there
Speaker 1: isn't much documentation about that specific combination, but pirates with
Speaker 1: monkeys certainly weren't uncommon. Parents were the more practical pet though.
Speaker 1: Parrots would eat things that were already on board, so
Speaker 1: you think about like fruits or seeds or nuts, and
Speaker 1: they didn't really need that much to sustain them. Plus
Speaker 1: they could be taught all these kind of neat tricks
Speaker 1: like how to talk. And you know, there's no better
Speaker 1: way for a pirate to start up a conversation at
Speaker 1: port than by introducing people to talking bird that he,
Speaker 1: you know, picked up. Well let's see. Well that's a
Speaker 1: good point. And still you think after a while it
Speaker 1: might be kind of risky to walk around with a big,
Speaker 1: bright bird on your shoulder. I mean, it seems like
Speaker 1: that's a tough way to keep a low profile. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's also good branding. I don't think that many
Speaker 1: pirates actually kept their parents for that long. According to
Speaker 1: this historian, Angus Constant, author of the history of pirates.
Speaker 1: He writes, back home, people would pay good money for
Speaker 1: parrots and other exotic creatures, and sailors could easily buy
Speaker 1: them in Caribbean ports. Some were kept, but most were
Speaker 1: sold when the ship reached home. So really they were
Speaker 1: selling them as soon as they got to port. That
Speaker 1: makes sense. So it's still it's nice to know that
Speaker 1: pirates really did keep parents, even if only for a
Speaker 1: little while. But all right, well, I know there's a
Speaker 1: couple more pirate myths that we want to take a
Speaker 1: look at. But before we do, let's take a quick break.
Speaker 1: They're listening to Part Time Genius and we're talking about
Speaker 1: the facts and fiction that fuel the modern view of pirates.
Speaker 1: All right, Mago. So one of the more interesting topics
Speaker 1: that I looked into this week were the big gold
Speaker 1: earrings that pirates wore. And the question here wasn't whether
Speaker 1: or not pirates really wore them. I think, you know,
Speaker 1: most historians agree that many of them did, but why
Speaker 1: did they wear them? So the story I'd always heard
Speaker 1: is that the ear rings were away for pirates to
Speaker 1: pay for their burials, Like, uh, if a pirate happened
Speaker 1: to die on land instead of at sea, the gold
Speaker 1: from their earrings could cover the cost, and obviously, even
Speaker 1: for a pirate, that would be preferable to just being
Speaker 1: put in this mass grave or left out for the
Speaker 1: crows to eat. I'm guessing yeah. I mean, there is
Speaker 1: some evidence that supports this idea. But those earrings and
Speaker 1: other kinds of jewelry weren't just a fail safe for
Speaker 1: pirate burial. I mean they were also symbols of rebellion
Speaker 1: against the seventeenth and eighteenth century laws that we're really
Speaker 1: meant to control what people could wear or do in
Speaker 1: their private lives. So in England, just for example, men
Speaker 1: weren't allowed to wear jewelry, and certain colors were off
Speaker 1: limits for commoners to wear, and if somebody didn't conform
Speaker 1: to those rules, they could be heavily fined or even imprisoned. So,
Speaker 1: as this pirate historian, Gael Sellinger put it, the so
Speaker 1: called sumptuary laws were quote a legal way for the
Speaker 1: ruling class to separate themselves from commoners by regulating what
Speaker 1: they wore, what they could drink, and where they could live. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean it is easy to see how none of
Speaker 1: that would sit very well with pirates, who are obviously
Speaker 1: big fans of flouting the law whenever possible, right, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: But for full disclosure, some historians do question how widespread
Speaker 1: the practice of dressing flamboyantly and wearing ear rings really was.
Speaker 1: And you know, many of them would argue that the
Speaker 1: bandanas and the sashes and earrings that we usually picture
Speaker 1: pirates wearing actually come from more like these series of
Speaker 1: drawings and children's books, and that those depictions had really
Speaker 1: been based in Spanish bandits, not pirates. But you know,
Speaker 1: as was most things we've talked about today, there's not
Speaker 1: a ton of evidence in either direction, though, so it's
Speaker 1: likely that at least a few pirates did dress this
Speaker 1: way well, and that kind of in your face fashion
Speaker 1: sense would also fit into what we do know about
Speaker 1: pirates backgrounds. Most of them actually started out as crew
Speaker 1: members aboard the respective countries merchant marines or naval ships
Speaker 1: before turning to a life of piracy. And from what
Speaker 1: I've read, life aboard those ships was often rougher and
Speaker 1: actually more tyrannical than it was on actual pirate ships.
Speaker 1: Like on a merchant ship, for instance, crew members lived
Speaker 1: in these squalid conditions. They were subject to a ton
Speaker 1: of rules that were just as strict, if not stricter,
Speaker 1: than those on land and merchant marines and naval captains.
Speaker 1: They had the final say on everything that happened on
Speaker 1: their ships, which left many crew members feeling oppressed and
Speaker 1: really voiceless as a result. Yeah, and it's it's really
Speaker 1: no wonder that so many of them would jump ship
Speaker 1: and and sign on as pirates instead, because you despite
Speaker 1: their reputation, pirates weren't antarchic or lawless when dealing with
Speaker 1: one another. I mean, their ranks were composed of these
Speaker 1: societal outsiders and outcasts, you know, that's definitely true. But
Speaker 1: they weren't so jaded as to think that social orders
Speaker 1: of any sort were automatically a bad thing. They just
Speaker 1: needed to find a better or what they saw as
Speaker 1: a more fair system, So on board pirate ships, that's
Speaker 1: exactly what they did. I mean, the pirates recognized that
Speaker 1: in order to prevent infighting and to be able to
Speaker 1: keep morale high during their months at see, they needed
Speaker 1: to do things a little bit more democratically, and so
Speaker 1: to that ind pirate captains took a vote on just
Speaker 1: about everything, I mean, from where to go, what the steel,
Speaker 1: how to deal with prisoners. So really, the only time
Speaker 1: that the captain took complete control was during a battle,
Speaker 1: and you know that's for obvious reasons. That's not a
Speaker 1: time when it would be smart to pause and take
Speaker 1: a vote. I love this idea that like deciding what
Speaker 1: the steel should be a democratic vote. Yeah, exactly, it's
Speaker 1: so fun. But you know, obviously there were more perks
Speaker 1: to pirate democracy than just saying you know where the
Speaker 1: ship would go or what you're gonna steal. If you
Speaker 1: listen to this breakdown I found from Robert Curson used
Speaker 1: this pirate historian and author of the book Pirate Hunters.
Speaker 1: It's pretty great. So so here's what he says. Quote,
Speaker 1: the captain's vote didn't count any more than the lowliest deckhands.
Speaker 1: If they wanted to throw the captain out, they could
Speaker 1: dismiss him or lower his rank. They could maroon him
Speaker 1: on an island or dump him into the sea, all
Speaker 1: by vote. That was true even if a captain owned
Speaker 1: his own ship, they had a constitution and even compensation
Speaker 1: schemes for injuries. The captain almost never earned more than
Speaker 1: two or three times the way to the lowliest deckhand.
Speaker 1: Think about how that must have struck. A guy who's
Speaker 1: come from a tyrannical rule on a merchant ship where
Speaker 1: the hours were terrible and the conditions even worse. He
Speaker 1: gets on a pirate ship and suddenly he has a
Speaker 1: real say in what they're doing. I mean, it sounds
Speaker 1: kind of amazing. Yeah, it's pretty weird to think about,
Speaker 1: but you know, some of these pirate were practicing democracy
Speaker 1: nearly a century before it took root in America and
Speaker 1: in France. And you know, those constitutions you mentioned were
Speaker 1: even written down in some cases. And I was looking
Speaker 1: for some examples of this, and one of them I
Speaker 1: was reading about it was from one of the most
Speaker 1: prolific pirates of this Golden Age, and his name was
Speaker 1: Black Bart Roberts. Now, he managed to overtake more than
Speaker 1: four hundred ships during his many years at sea, which
Speaker 1: obviously is no small feat. But I think what I
Speaker 1: found most impressive about his career was this set of
Speaker 1: by laws that he and a crew member drafted back
Speaker 1: in seventeen twenty two. Now, this included some pretty progressive
Speaker 1: rules that you might not expect, you know, from a
Speaker 1: pirate ship. But you know, take this worker's compensation plan
Speaker 1: that you had mentioned According to the by laws, quote,
Speaker 1: every man who shall become a cripple or lose a
Speaker 1: limb in the service shall have eight hundred pieces of
Speaker 1: eight from the common stock, and for lesser hurts proportionately.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's kind of amazing that they got that
Speaker 1: sort of security from a pirate job, right, Like, no
Speaker 1: wonder so many people went into piracy. Yeah, and you know,
Speaker 1: to stick with black Bart's by laws for just a
Speaker 1: second here. That The other thing I think I was
Speaker 1: struck by was the picture they painted of life aboard
Speaker 1: his ship, because you know, we tend to think of
Speaker 1: pirates as this rowdy bunch of all hours of the night,
Speaker 1: drinking and gambling. Of course, that's how things were when
Speaker 1: the pirates came to port, but according to these by laws,
Speaker 1: it was a very different story when they were at sea.
Speaker 1: So just listen to this from it as well. It
Speaker 1: says none shall game for money, either with dice or cards,
Speaker 1: and the lights and candles shall be put out at
Speaker 1: eight at night, and if any of the crew desire
Speaker 1: to drink after that hour, they shall sit upon the
Speaker 1: open deck without lights. I mean, that's pretty amazing, and
Speaker 1: that there's this curfew on a pirate ship, Like, that's
Speaker 1: not something I would have expected exactly. And at the
Speaker 1: same time, you know there's no gambling. I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess if the goal is to form some sort of piece,
Speaker 1: those do sound like really smart moves. And you know,
Speaker 1: since we're talking about how shockingly judicious pirates could be,
Speaker 1: I do want to mention another famous pirate that fits
Speaker 1: that bill, and that's black Beard. So he and his
Speaker 1: cohorts were based in the Bahamas and they were only
Speaker 1: active around seven years or so. But this period from
Speaker 1: seventeen thirteen to seventeen twenty was a super eventful one.
Speaker 1: In fact that there's some historians that argued that the
Speaker 1: term Golden Age of piracy should really only be applied
Speaker 1: to those seven years and that seven year span, so
Speaker 1: that kind of gives you an idea of how successful
Speaker 1: black Beard and the other islander pirates were. By seventeen seventeen,
Speaker 1: the pirates had actually thrown the commercial trade of three
Speaker 1: separate empires into total disarray, and they even managed to
Speaker 1: beat back the Royal Navy's warships. I mean, whether you
Speaker 1: love them or hate him, these pirates really knew how
Speaker 1: to shake things up. Yeah, that's to put it mildly,
Speaker 1: I guess, But I mean, what was black beard deal anyway, Like,
Speaker 1: was he one of those legitimate sailors who went rogue
Speaker 1: or had he always been more of a proper pirate? Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: he and most of the other pirates from the Bahamas
Speaker 1: started out on merchant naval ships, and in a way,
Speaker 1: their actions as pirates were kind of this revolt and
Speaker 1: revenge against their former bosses. And this is kind of
Speaker 1: a tangent, but one of black Beard's contemporaries was this
Speaker 1: guy named Captain Bellamy, and his crew especially loved this
Speaker 1: new role that they were taking on. Like the crew
Speaker 1: actually called themselves Robin Hood's Men, and Bellamy once explained
Speaker 1: to a captive quote they vilify as the scoundrels do
Speaker 1: when there's only this difference. They robbed the poor under
Speaker 1: the cover of law, and we plunder the rich under
Speaker 1: the cover of our own courage. I want to make
Speaker 1: sure we don't go too far here and paint pirates
Speaker 1: is more heroic than they really were. I mean, you're
Speaker 1: kind of saying black Beard was a level headed guy,
Speaker 1: or that his actions were maybe justified in some way,
Speaker 1: at least in his own mind. But how does that
Speaker 1: square with his reputation as being really a cruel and
Speaker 1: fearsome pirate. I mean he was a pretty violent guy,
Speaker 1: right well, I mean yes and no. So pirates on
Speaker 1: the whole did some pretty terrible things, and there's no
Speaker 1: question about that. They invaded, they pillared ships and colonies,
Speaker 1: their ransom hostages, and pretty much ignored any laws but
Speaker 1: the ones they made up for themselves at sea. But
Speaker 1: in a lot of cases, including Black Beards, that brutality
Speaker 1: was exaggerated. You know, it was mostly by the imperial
Speaker 1: authorities on land and the newspapers that they held sway
Speaker 1: over And if you think about it, nearly every bit
Speaker 1: of pop culture associated with pirates, including Treasure Island, is
Speaker 1: derived from those stories, and it's inspired by black Beard
Speaker 1: and these other Bahamas pirates. So that means a lot
Speaker 1: of our understanding of what pirates did is skewed as well,
Speaker 1: since most of it can be traced back to these
Speaker 1: somewhat embellished accounts. So so you're saying black Beard wasn't
Speaker 1: as terrifying and cut throats as we might think, exactly,
Speaker 1: And there are actually dozens of eyewitness accounts of Black
Speaker 1: Beards victims and with the exception of his final bloody
Speaker 1: showdown with the Royal Navy, not a single one of
Speaker 1: them mentions the pirate captain actually killing anyone. And if
Speaker 1: that's kind of hard to swallow it, it's probably because
Speaker 1: black Beard and self purpose. He cultivated his image as
Speaker 1: this fearsome force to be reckoned with. Like if you
Speaker 1: listen to this description, I found this at the Smithsonian.
Speaker 1: But but you'll see what I mean. Quote black Beard
Speaker 1: wore a silk sling over his shoulders, on which there
Speaker 1: were three braces of pistols hanging in holsters like bandeliers.
Speaker 1: Under his hat, he tied lit fuses, dangling some of
Speaker 1: them down the sides of his face so as to
Speaker 1: surround it with a halo of smoke and fire, making
Speaker 1: him look more frightful than a fury from hell. Merchant
Speaker 1: crews would take one look at this apparition and the
Speaker 1: army of wild men around him, bearing cutlasses, muskets, and
Speaker 1: primitive hand grenades, and invariably surrender without firing a shot.
Speaker 1: So I guess it was all for show then, like
Speaker 1: kind of an intimidation tactic, right, And I mean, some
Speaker 1: pirates really did perform the horrible acts we read about,
Speaker 1: like dragging someone who crossed them beneath their ship, but
Speaker 1: that wasn't their first choice, Like, they mostly wanted to
Speaker 1: just frighten people into giving up without a fight. And
Speaker 1: that's actually what the whole pirate flag was about. Like
Speaker 1: when a black flag was hoisted, it was a message
Speaker 1: that another ship should prepare to be boarded and pillaged,
Speaker 1: but also that they wouldn't come to harm so long
Speaker 1: as they cooperated. Meanwhile, you've got like a red flag,
Speaker 1: which was a much more rare but a completely different story,
Speaker 1: and that meant the pirates had come for blood. But
Speaker 1: this desire for non violent resolution really makes a lot
Speaker 1: of sense when you think about how practical pirates were
Speaker 1: in general. I mean, like why slaughter your captives when
Speaker 1: you could just ransom them for money or put them
Speaker 1: to work in your own crew. I mean, that's just
Speaker 1: just business one oh one. Right, So, since we're on
Speaker 1: the subject of surprising pirate traits, we we should probably
Speaker 1: talk about how egalitarian pirates actually were, because you know,
Speaker 1: not only did they welcome those of low economic or
Speaker 1: social standing into their cruise, but they also made room
Speaker 1: for folks who were frequent targets of discrimination on land,
Speaker 1: and that includes Africans, European Jews, and women. But before
Speaker 1: we get into that, let's take one more quick break. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: so you mentioned before the break that pirrating was sort
Speaker 1: of an equal opportunity profession, and that makes sense when
Speaker 1: you think about it, because if you're on the run
Speaker 1: from the Royal Navy or whatever, the race or gender
Speaker 1: of your crewmates isn't going to be a top priority.
Speaker 1: And for the most part, pirates welcomed all commers and
Speaker 1: that have to be pretty enticing for people who felt
Speaker 1: repressed or restricted on land. I'm guessing right, like, what
Speaker 1: did they have to lose? Yeah, that makes sense, and
Speaker 1: I do think a great example of that mentality are
Speaker 1: the bands of Jewish pirates that took to the open
Speaker 1: Ocean during the early seventeen hundreds. That this is honestly
Speaker 1: something I'd never heard about before this week, and apparently
Speaker 1: historians are still piecing together their history as well, Like
Speaker 1: I was reading that just in this past decade, several
Speaker 1: graveyards were found in the Caribbean and many of the
Speaker 1: tombstone is their feature Hebrew writing and stars of David
Speaker 1: right alongside those iconic skull and crossbones symbols. I mean,
Speaker 1: that is pretty wild. So I hadn't heard about this either,
Speaker 1: But what made so many Jewish people go pirate? Well,
Speaker 1: I guess the seeds of it were actually planted in
Speaker 1: the very same month that Columbus set sail back in
Speaker 1: four two. So after sending Columbus on his way, the
Speaker 1: King and Queen of Spain ordered the expulsion of all
Speaker 1: Jews and Muslims from the country. Now, Portugal did the
Speaker 1: same thing just a few years later. So these Spanish
Speaker 1: Portuguese Jews set out to find new homes, and many
Speaker 1: of them wound up settling on Caribbean islands. And in fact,
Speaker 1: by the seventeen twenties, when Jewish pirates first set sail,
Speaker 1: un estimated twenty of Kingston, Jamaica's population was descended from
Speaker 1: Jewish exiles. Yeah, so a few of these Jews started
Speaker 1: captaining their own pirate ships and christening them with names
Speaker 1: like Queen Esther and the Shield of Abraham. And for
Speaker 1: the most part, these Jewish pirates would exclusively target Spanish
Speaker 1: and Portuguese ships, not surprisingly because this was really seen
Speaker 1: his payback for those generations of unjust treatment. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is fascinating. So it sounds like we're still uncovering
Speaker 1: the full history of Jewish pirates. But I am curious
Speaker 1: are there any notorious ones we should know about, Like, like,
Speaker 1: who's the Blackbeard of Jewish pirates? You know, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure about that exactly, but I think my favorite was
Speaker 1: probably Schmool Polachi, who supposedly joined in a number of
Speaker 1: pirate raids against the Dutch and Spanish ships. But here's
Speaker 1: the wild thing about Polacci. He was actually a rabbi, right,
Speaker 1: he was a rabbi pirate, Like that's kind of an oxymoron, right,
Speaker 1: Well apparently not. I mean, by most accounts, Polacci was
Speaker 1: also pretty pious. So not only did he insist that
Speaker 1: his crew donate a tenth of their treasure to charity,
Speaker 1: he also made sure they all kept kosher during their voyages.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So no shellfish. But uh, you know what
Speaker 1: we're talking about, how piracy was this drastic kind of
Speaker 1: escape for repressed people. And I think another great example
Speaker 1: of that are the many women who built new lives
Speaker 1: for themselves at sea. So most of them earned their
Speaker 1: keepers servants or cooks or prostitutes. But if you also
Speaker 1: found work as merchant sailors, naval officers, and and even pirates.
Speaker 1: For instance, there's this Irish pirate named Grace O'Malley and
Speaker 1: in the sixteenth century she became one of the few
Speaker 1: female pirates to captain her own ship, and she made
Speaker 1: a pretty frightening name for herself all along the coast
Speaker 1: of Ireland. Like she had a bunch of really intense
Speaker 1: scars on her face, which he claimed were from being
Speaker 1: attacked by an eagle. And if that wasn't badass enough,
Speaker 1: she also reportedly gave birth to her youngest son while
Speaker 1: aboard her ship and then proceed to fight off invaders
Speaker 1: with her baby in one hand and a sword into other.
Speaker 1: Is that Yeah, that's pretty impressive and definitely something black
Speaker 1: Beard can't claim to have done. But yeah, I think
Speaker 1: for my money, the undisputed queen of female pirates and
Speaker 1: and honestly maybe just pirates in general has got to
Speaker 1: be Captain Ching Shew. In the early nineteenth century, she
Speaker 1: spent her youth working as a cortison on a floating
Speaker 1: brothel in Canton, China. Now, during this time she made
Speaker 1: a name for herself as this really shrewd businesswoman, and
Speaker 1: apparently she had a knack for blackmail and would often
Speaker 1: use the secrets that she'd heard as a prostitute. And
Speaker 1: she would do this in order to control her wealthy
Speaker 1: and influential clients. So, as you might imagine, this was
Speaker 1: a pretty attractive skill to a pirate, which is how
Speaker 1: she came to marry this other very famous pirate, one
Speaker 1: of the South China Sea, and his name was Ching
Speaker 1: I Saw. And this guy was no slouch when it
Speaker 1: came to pirrating. And by the time he married the
Speaker 1: twenty six year old Ching she this was in I
Speaker 1: think eighteen o one, Chang had already united a bunch
Speaker 1: of rival pirate gangs into what he called the Red
Speaker 1: Flag Fleet. So did Ching she have any power herself
Speaker 1: or was she kind of just this figurehead. No, she
Speaker 1: was definitely a very active participant in her husband's in
Speaker 1: her prize, and in fact, you know, many of these
Speaker 1: stories report that she actually demanded equal control of the
Speaker 1: fleet as a condition of their marriage, and her role
Speaker 1: really only grew as time went on. So it was
Speaker 1: only six years into their marriage that Chang passed away suddenly.
Speaker 1: And this was at the age of forty two, and
Speaker 1: a few weeks later change she took her husband's place
Speaker 1: as the leader of the red flag fleet, which to
Speaker 1: me sounds a little suspicious, like her husband suddenly dies.
Speaker 1: But do we know how big that fleet was that
Speaker 1: she inherited. Well, we don't know how many ships are
Speaker 1: men she inherited from her husband, but we do have
Speaker 1: a pretty good estimate of the size of her fleet
Speaker 1: a few years after she took over, And that's because
Speaker 1: in eighteen o nine, her forces captured an East India
Speaker 1: Company employee named Richard Glasspool. Now, after he was released
Speaker 1: a few months later, he writes this account of his experience,
Speaker 1: and it included this detailed estimate of change she's forces. So,
Speaker 1: according to him, that were roughly eighty thousand pirates under
Speaker 1: her command and over eighteen hundred ships in her fleet.
Speaker 1: And so to give you an idea of just how
Speaker 1: vast her entourage was, consider that Blackbeard himself commanded only
Speaker 1: four ships and three hundred pirates, and that was at
Speaker 1: his peak. I mean, those numbers really are insane, Like
Speaker 1: eighty thousand pirates and ships like I don't know how
Speaker 1: you could actually keep that many pirates in check. Well,
Speaker 1: chance she borrowed from other pirates playbooks in that regard,
Speaker 1: because once she took command, she quickly instituted this strict
Speaker 1: code of laws for all of her men to follow,
Speaker 1: and strict really is the key word here. And just
Speaker 1: as an example, if any pirate disobeyed as Superior's orders
Speaker 1: or started giving orders of their own, they were immediately
Speaker 1: beheaded right on the spot. And you know, she had
Speaker 1: some really specific rules about female captives that you probably
Speaker 1: won't find in any other pirate codes, Like there was
Speaker 1: this one rule that said if a pirate took a
Speaker 1: female prisoner for his wife, he had to be faithful
Speaker 1: to her and couldn't sleep around. That's really interesting. But
Speaker 1: you know, I am still kind of hung up on
Speaker 1: the sheer size of her operation. I mean, her fleet
Speaker 1: probably like you could see it rivaling some of the
Speaker 1: nation's entire armed forces from that time. I mean probably so.
Speaker 1: In fact, under Chin She's command, the Red Flag Fleet
Speaker 1: fought off not only the Chinese military, but the East
Speaker 1: India Company, the Portuguese Navy, and you know, they were
Speaker 1: undefeated for three full years until Ching She finally retired
Speaker 1: altogether back in eighteen ten. Wait, so she retired, like
Speaker 1: I didn't even know pirates could do that. I mean,
Speaker 1: of course, not many of them did, and even fewer,
Speaker 1: if any, retired in a way that Ching she did.
Speaker 1: And you know, you look back at her retirement, it
Speaker 1: was actually part of a deal that she made with
Speaker 1: the Chinese government. And you know, after years of defeat,
Speaker 1: the officials were just desperate to get Ching She out
Speaker 1: of the spotlight by any means necessary, and so they
Speaker 1: extended this offer to her wherein she and her forces
Speaker 1: would surrender and go their separate ways. And this was
Speaker 1: in return for amnesty and full pensions for every single
Speaker 1: member of the crew. Wait, all eighty thousand of them
Speaker 1: got pensions. Yeah, isn't that wild? So she and her
Speaker 1: forces were seen as such a big threat that the
Speaker 1: Chinese government basically paid them all to stop being pirates.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was definitely a one of a kind deal,
Speaker 1: at least as far as I can tell. That is amazing,
Speaker 1: And you know, I know we're talking about criminals here,
Speaker 1: but I have to say it is pretty cool that
Speaker 1: not only were their female pirates, but kind of the
Speaker 1: most badass pirates of them all tend to be women. Here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's actually this great quote that I wanted to
Speaker 1: read from a pirate historian and the author of a
Speaker 1: book called Pirate Women. So her name is Laura Silk
Speaker 1: Duncom And and here she's talking about that attraction to
Speaker 1: pirrat ng and the freedom and entail that we mentioned earlier.
Speaker 1: And well she's talking specifically in this case about female pirates.
Speaker 1: I really think this could have applied to almost all
Speaker 1: the ones that we've talked about today. So here's what
Speaker 1: she says. All of these pirates had ships that were
Speaker 1: very different and methods that were very different. But I
Speaker 1: think they share the desire to control their own fates,
Speaker 1: and the desire for freedom from convention would unite all
Speaker 1: these women. Their hopes to escape the normal and be
Speaker 1: a part of something adventurous would tie all these women together.
Speaker 1: And we all share that desire for adventure, not the
Speaker 1: desire for slitting throats or plundering the high seas. But
Speaker 1: one can empathize with the desire to have a say
Speaker 1: and how their life goes. Yeah, I do feel like
Speaker 1: people want to have a say and how their life goes,
Speaker 1: and I like that. But how about we end on
Speaker 1: that note and start the fact off. So the Pittsburgh
Speaker 1: Pirates used to go by a totally different name, the
Speaker 1: Pittsburgh Alleghanies, you know, named after the Mountain range. But
Speaker 1: when they poached the second baseman from the Philadelphia Athletics
Speaker 1: in the eighteen eighties, Philadelphia newspapers were outraged. They called
Speaker 1: it a theft, and they referred to the team as
Speaker 1: a bunch of pirates, and the name stuck. That's how
Speaker 1: they got the name. Wow. One of my favorite pirates
Speaker 1: who isn't often talked about these days is John Lafoote,
Speaker 1: who was a barefoot pirate who used to be the
Speaker 1: nemesis of Captain Crunch. So I don't know the full
Speaker 1: story behind this rivalry. Apparently, Captain Horatio P. Crunch was
Speaker 1: created by an ad firm and this was in response
Speaker 1: to a survey that claimed kids hated soggy serial I
Speaker 1: love that they had to do a survey to find
Speaker 1: out that people don't like soggy cereal. But because the
Speaker 1: cereal was so crunchy, the pirates wanted it anyway. That
Speaker 1: the Captain was so popular and did such a good
Speaker 1: job of fighting off Lafoote that there was once a
Speaker 1: public movement to promote him to the rank of admiral.
Speaker 1: But Quaker Oath was not convinced, and he's been overlooked
Speaker 1: now for I don't know several decades. Yeah, Admiral Crunch
Speaker 1: is into cereal. I'd pick off this right. So have
Speaker 1: you ever heard of Pirate Joe's in Vancouver? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: don't think so. So it's this store that was recently
Speaker 1: shut down. But basically, this guy in Canada would drive
Speaker 1: down to Trader Joe's groceries in the US because there
Speaker 1: are no Trigger Joe's stores in Canada. He'd buy a
Speaker 1: ton of stuff in bulk and then sneak it back
Speaker 1: up and sell it at a higher cost. He had
Speaker 1: actually been banned from Trader Joe's stores for doing this,
Speaker 1: so sometimes he'd wear wigs or dresses or fake mustaches
Speaker 1: and pinstripe suits. It got really elaborate. Sometimes he'd even
Speaker 1: recruit day laborers to help him shop and pay at
Speaker 1: the register like it was crazy. And when Trader Joe's
Speaker 1: took him to court in two thousand and sixteen, they
Speaker 1: did this in the US, they couldn't prove that he
Speaker 1: was actually hurting their business, so he kind of got
Speaker 1: to keep doing it for a while, and then finally
Speaker 1: Trader Joe's brought another court battle. During the last court battle,
Speaker 1: he took the p off his sign to change it
Speaker 1: from Pirate Joe's to I Rate Joe's. When he finally
Speaker 1: settled the case, the shop closed down in two thousand seventeen. Alright, well,
Speaker 1: something equally ridiculous here. We we've talked about the Postafarian
Speaker 1: religion before in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,
Speaker 1: So for anybody who doesn't know, it was this satirical
Speaker 1: religion that was invented really in response to religious fundamentalist
Speaker 1: and the main claim is that a flying spaghetti monster
Speaker 1: is just as likely as any other type of God,
Speaker 1: so that's the one they chose to worship. But for
Speaker 1: some reason, the very first Postafarian wedding also had a
Speaker 1: pirate connection to it. Now, the event took place in
Speaker 1: New Zealand. This was just a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: and the bride and groom were head to toe in
Speaker 1: pirate gear and everyone there wore eye patches of course,
Speaker 1: right now, that said, there was also this nod to
Speaker 1: pasta and so the officiant wore a colender on her head,
Speaker 1: which is the official headdress of the church. The couple
Speaker 1: exchanged rings of pasta and and their vows they agreed
Speaker 1: to always add all when boiling spaghetti. Very romantic. So
Speaker 1: when Julius Caesar was years old, he was kidnapped five pirates,
Speaker 1: and when the pirates asked for a ransom of twenty
Speaker 1: talents of silver, he just laughed in their faces and
Speaker 1: told them to up it to fifty because he was
Speaker 1: worth so much more than that. So that's actually the
Speaker 1: part of the story i'd heard before. But the part
Speaker 1: I didn't know was that he was stuck on the
Speaker 1: ship for thirty eight days, and during that time he
Speaker 1: was not a good hostage. He was just completely unintimidated
Speaker 1: by these pirates. Not only did he refuse to coward
Speaker 1: to them, he actually treated them like they were his servants.
Speaker 1: He'd write poetry and then forced them to listen to
Speaker 1: it when he when he slept, he demanded they stopped talking,
Speaker 1: and instead of acting like a prisoner, he just kind
Speaker 1: of like stomped around doing what he wanted to do,
Speaker 1: and they kind of gave him respect for it. Of course,
Speaker 1: while he did act chummy with them the whole time,
Speaker 1: he let them know that they should watch out. And
Speaker 1: when he was finally freed, he of course rounded up
Speaker 1: a small fleet, found his way back to them, took
Speaker 1: back his fifty talents, took the rest of their possessions
Speaker 1: as well, and then eventually had them killed, which you
Speaker 1: know is very Julius Caesar of him. That is so
Speaker 1: Julius Caesar of him. But all right, well, one of
Speaker 1: the best ways to fight off modern pirates might just
Speaker 1: be pop music, and in particular the music of Brittney Spears.
Speaker 1: I was look at this old Guardian article from two
Speaker 1: thousand thirteen and Britney Spears emerged as this unlikely figurehead
Speaker 1: and a fight against Somali pirates. And that's because British
Speaker 1: naval officers started blasting the songs Oops, I did it
Speaker 1: again and Baby one more time at them, and strangely
Speaker 1: the tactic proved more intimidating than guns and harpoons, apparently
Speaker 1: because it's one naval officer put it quote her songs
Speaker 1: were chosen by the security team because they thought the
Speaker 1: pirates would hate them the most. These guys can't stand
Speaker 1: Western culture or music, making Brittany hits perfect and as
Speaker 1: soon as the pirates get a blast of Brittany, they
Speaker 1: move on as quickly as they can. So what I
Speaker 1: love about that story too, is like you're talking about
Speaker 1: reporting for two and those songs I feel like came
Speaker 1: out in like two thousand, two thousand one septime around
Speaker 1: a minute. It's like they didn't just like pick the
Speaker 1: latest pop songs. They went back and specifically chose Brittany
Speaker 1: to scare off, very specific. They're still just as powerful today,
Speaker 1: so I'd be curious that they if they go back
Speaker 1: and use them again. Well, I do feel like you
Speaker 1: have to get the trophy for that. I saved that
Speaker 1: one especially for last, just for that fact. I knew
Speaker 1: i'd get this one locked up. Well, I'm sure there
Speaker 1: are other great facts that we have not mentioned today
Speaker 1: about pirates, and we love to hear those from you guys.
Speaker 1: As always, you can always email us part Time Genius
Speaker 1: and How Stuff Works dot com or hit us up
Speaker 1: on Facebook or Twitter. But from Tristan, Gabe, Mango and me,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for listening. Thanks again for listening. Part
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