WEBVTT - SYSK’s Scare Your Pants Off (and Back On) Halloween Spooktacular 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:03.560 Welcome to Stuff You Should Know, a production of Five 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:21.239 Heart Radios How Stuff Works. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:27.120 I'm Josh Scare the pants off you Clark, and there's 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:32.720 Charles Ghastly, Chuck Bryant and Jerry's floating out there somewhere 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.479 in the ether, which makes this Stuff you Should Know. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:41.760 I thought you were going to say, Chuck, scare the 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:45.240 pants back on you Bryant. Oh, that's even better. Maybe 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.120 we should edit that in and say it again. But 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:50.280 with feeling. That's as much feeling as I can mustard 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.920 these days. Man. I'm with you, buddy, I'm with you, 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.240 but we're not here to talk about anything in the 0:00:55.280 --> 0:01:00.560 world except scaring the pants off and then act on 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:06.600 people with our annual Halloween episode correct sir, So Chuck, 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.479 we come up with a couple of pretty good ones. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:10.760 I would say this year, I'm in love with yours. 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:13.600 I think these are both really good. And I was 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:15.840 surprised to see Philip paid Dick had stuff in the 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.560 public domain. Well we read one of his last year. 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:21.720 Did yeah that the Hanging Man I think is what 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.680 it was called. It was very scary, very creepy, but 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:28.920 I think it was just last year that his stuff 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.640 first came in, which goes to show you how old 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.040 we are. I think it's not an age thing, right, 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.679 I think just certain ones were put in the public domain. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:41.640 I feel like if they don't copyrighted after X number 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:45.240 of decades, automatically goes into the public domain. So yeah, 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.760 I think it's because we're old. Well, hats off to 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:51.720 Phil Dick for his great work. That's right, hats off 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:55.000 and pants off mics on. So you want to get 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:59.280 started with the Beyond the Door? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:01.600 I'll take the part. How about that? It sounds wonderful. 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:06.680 Ladies and gentlemen, Please dim your lights, please um arouse 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:11.080 your sympathetic nervous systems, and prepared to hear Beyond the 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:28.440 Door by Philip K. Dick. Larry Thomas bought a cuckoo 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.280 clock for his wife, without knowing the price he would 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:35.000 have to pay. That night, at the dinner table, he 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.280 brought it out and set it down beside her plate. 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.880 Doris stared at it, her hand to her mouth. Oh 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:43.280 my god, what is it? She looked up at him, 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:47.000 bright eyed. Well open it. Doris tore the ribbon in 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.639 paper from the square package with her sharp nails, her 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:53.720 bosom rising and falling. Larry stood watching her as she 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.959 lifted the lid. He lit a cigarette and leaned against 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:01.799 the wall. A cuckoo clock, doors cried, a real old 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:05.280 cuckoo clock, like my mother had. She turned the clock 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.480 over and over, just like my mother had when Pete 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:12.560 was still alive. Her eyes sparkled with tears. It's made 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:16.480 in Germany, Larry said. After a moment, he added, Carl 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.840 got it for me wholesale. He knows some guy in 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:23.079 the clock business. Otherwise I wouldn't have He stopped. Doris 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.480 made a funny little sound. I mean, otherwise I wouldn't 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.640 have been able to afford it. He scowled. What's the 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.480 matter with you? You got your clock, haven't you. Isn't 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:36.000 that what you want? Doris sat holding onto the clock, 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:39.920 her fingers pressed against the brown wood well. Larry said, 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.840 what's the matter. He watched an amazement as she leaped 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.640 up and ran from the room, still clutching the clock. 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:50.960 He shook his head, never satisfied, they're all that way, 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:54.120 never get enough. He sat down at the table and 0:03:54.200 --> 0:04:05.800 finished his meal. So I think we have a puts 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.080 on our hands. Chuck. Yeah, And I gotta say, I've 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.280 seen you with Humi and you're a wonderful husband. But 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.520 you played the part of your husband very well. Thank 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:17.359 you very much. I think from time to time you 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:21.000 might say I'm a natural. No, that was that was 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:23.560 well done. I don't I wonder what this guy's problem 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:28.000 is already. I'm guessing he's like a mid fifties average dude. 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.400 Not a very good gift giver. No, I mean, here's 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:34.640 a great gift. And let me just urinate all over. 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:41.480 Hold it still, so I don't mess. All right, you're ready, 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.560 I'm ready, Right, here we go. The cuckoo clock was 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:49.080 not very large. It was handmade, however, and there were 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:52.760 countless frets on it, little indentations and ornaments scored in 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.840 the soft wood. Doris sat on the bed, drying her 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:59.040 eyes and winding the clock. She set the hands by 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.600 her wristwatch. Presently, she carefully moved the hands to two 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.560 minutes of ten. She carried the clock over to the 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:09.200 dresser and propped it up. Then she sat waiting, her 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.600 hands twisted together in her lap, waiting for the cuckoo 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:16.160 to come out for the hour to strike. As she sat, 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:19.280 she thought about Larry and what he had said, and 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.480 what she had said too, for that matter, not that 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.000 she could be blamed for any of it. After all, 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:29.600 she couldn't keep listening to him forever without defending herself. 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:31.520 You had to blow your own trumpet in the world. 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:35.560 She touched her handkerchief to her eyes. Suddenly, Why did 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.560 he have to say that about getting it wholesale? Why 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:41.679 did he have to spoil it all? If he felt 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.480 that way, he needn't have got it in the first place. 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:49.520 She clenched her fists. He was so mean, so dang mean. 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:53.560 But she was glad that the little clock sitting there, 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:57.679 ticking to itself with its funny grilled edges in the door. 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.800 Inside the door was the cuckoo waiting to come out? 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.239 Was he listening his head cocked on one side, listening 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.880 to hear the clock strike so that he would know 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:12.800 to come out? Did he sleep between hours? Well, she 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.120 would soon see him, she could ask him, and she 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:18.240 would show the clock to Bob. He would love it. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:21.960 Bob loved old things, even old stamps and buttons. He 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:24.200 liked to go with her to the stores. Of course, 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:27.200 it was a little awkward, but Larry had been staying 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.920 at the office so much, and that helped off. Only 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:34.240 Larry didn't call up sometimes too. There was a wir 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.560 the clock shuttered, and all at once the door opened. 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:42.760 The cuckoo came out, sliding swiftly. He paused and looked around, solemnly, 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:47.360 scrutinizing her, the room, the furniture. It was the first 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.920 time he had seen her, she realized, Smiling to herself 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:55.320 in pleasure, she stood up, coming toward him shyly. Go on, 0:06:56.160 --> 0:07:01.640 she said, I'm waiting. The cuckoo opened his bill. He 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:06.680 worred and chirped quickly rhythmically. Then after a moment of contemplation, 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:10.680 he retired and the door snap shut. She was delighted. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.320 She clapped her hands and spun in a little circle. 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:18.080 She five years old. I guess she's a tad dad. 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.520 I love it. He was marvelous, perfect, and the way 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:26.000 he had looked around, studying her, sizing her up. He 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.640 liked her. She was certain of it, and she of 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:31.960 course loved him at once completely. He was just what 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:34.360 she had hoped would come out of the little door. 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.200 Doris went to the clock. She bent over the little door, 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.760 her lips close to the woods. Do you hear me? 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:46.120 She whispered. I think you're the most wonderful cuckoo in 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:51.720 the world. She paused, embarrassed. I hope you'll like it here. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:08:01.640 Then she went downstairs again, slowly, her head high. Very nice, Chuck. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:03.840 That was a great Doris. And I think I didn't 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:06.880 know where Doris is coming from. She's very likable at 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:10.600 this point. She's delighted by simple things, right. She does 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.400 little twirls and spins and stuff, which I mean, how 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:19.040 can you dislike that? You know? Okay, I'm picking up 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:32.080 again with moa. Larry and the cuckoo clock really never 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:35.280 got along well from the start. Doris said it was 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.640 because he didn't wind it right and it didn't like 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.959 being only half wound all the time. Larry turned the 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:44.000 job of winding over to her. The cuckoo came out 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.920 every quarter hour and ran the spring down without remorse, 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.840 and someone had to be ever after it winding it 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:53.160 up again. Doris did her best, but she forgot a 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.080 good deal of the time. Then Larry would throw his 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.719 newspaper down with an elaborate weary motion and stand up. 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.079 He would go into the dining room, where the clock 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.960 was mounted on the wall over the fireplace. He would 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.439 take the clock down, and making sure that he had 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.240 his thumb over the little door, he would wind it up. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.600 Why do you put your thumb over the door, Doris asked, 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:18.360 Once you're supposed to? She raised an eyebrow. Are you sure? 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:20.760 I wonder if it isn't that you don't want him 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:23.920 to come out while you're standing so close? Why not? 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.240 Maybe you're afraid of him? Larry laughed. He put the 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.960 clock back on the wall and gingerly removed his thumb. 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:35.199 When Doris wasn't looking, he examined his thumb. There was 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.360 still a trace of the nick cut out of the 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:44.000 soft part of it. Who or what had pecked him? Oh, boy, chuck, 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:47.560 I think it's your turning. All right, it's getting eerie, 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:54.920 a little eerie. What's in the clock death? What's in 0:09:54.960 --> 0:10:02.280 the clock death? All right? Here we go, okay. One 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.960 Saturday morning, when Larry was down at the office working 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:08.360 over some important special accounts, Bob Chambers came to the 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.240 front porch and rang the bell. Doris was taking a 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:14.240 quick shower. She'd dried herself and slipped into her robe. 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.559 When she opened the door, Bob stepped inside, grinning, Hi, 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:22.360 he said, looking around. It's all right, Larry's at the office. Fine. 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.360 Bob gazed at her slim legs below the hymn of 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:29.880 the robe. How nice you look today, she laughed, Be careful. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:34.040 Maybe I shouldn't let you in. After all, it's getting naughty, 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:39.640 very naughty. They looked at one another, half amused, half frightened. Presently, 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:44.000 Bob said, if you want, i'll know. For God's sake, 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:46.840 She caught hold of his sleeve. Just get out of 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:49.360 the doorway so I can close it. Mrs Peters across 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.720 the street. You know. She closed the door, and I 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.320 want to show you something, she said, you haven't seen it. 0:10:55.920 --> 0:11:01.000 He was interested, an antique or what she doesn't of course, 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.640 what else would it be. She took his arm, leading 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.440 him toward the dining room. You'll love it, Bobby, she stopped, 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.840 wide eyed. I hope you will. You must, you must 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.600 love it. It means so much to me. He means 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:20.360 so much. He Bob frowned. Who is he? Doris laughed, Oh, 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.920 you're jealous. Come on. A moment later, they stood before 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.200 the clock, looking up at it. He'll come out in 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:29.240 a few minutes. Wait until you see him. I know 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:32.600 you two will get along just fine. What does Larry 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.360 think of him? They don't like each other. Sometimes when 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:38.120 Larry's here, he won't come out. Larry gets mad if 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.600 he doesn't come out on time, he says, says what. 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.640 Doris looked down. He always says he's been robbed, even 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:50.640 if he did get it wholesale. She brightened. But I 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.000 know he won't come out because he doesn't like Larry. 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.560 When I'm here alone, he comes right out for me 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.520 every fifteen minutes, even though he really only has to 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.600 come out on the hour. She gazed up at the clock. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:06.000 He comes out for me because he wants to we talk. 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.839 I tell him things. Of course, I'd like to have 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:11.400 him upstairs in my room, but it wouldn't be right. 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:15.439 There was a sound of footsteps on the porch. They 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.960 looked at each other horrified. Larry pushed the front door open, grunting. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:21.600 He set his briefcase down and took off his hat. 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:26.160 Then he saw Bob for the first time. Chambers, I'll 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:30.080 be darned. His eyes narrowed. What are you doing here? 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.320 He came into the dining room. Doris drew her robe 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.960 around her hopelessly backing away. I uh, Bob began that 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:42.800 that is we uh. He broke off, glancing at Doris. Suddenly, 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.720 the clock began to were The cuckoo came rushing out, 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:50.480 bursting into sound. Larry moved toward him. Shut that din off, 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.360 he said. He raised his fist toward the clock. The 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.680 cuckoo snapped into silence and retreated. The door closed. That's better, 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:03.719 Larry studied, Doris and Job, standing mutely together. I came 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.680 over to look at the clock, Bob said. Doris told 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.800 me that it's a rare antique and that nuts. I 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.679 bought it myself. Larry walked up to him. Get out 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.600 of here, he turned the Doris YouTube and take that 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:20.200 dank clock with you, he paused, rubbing his chin. No, 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.880 leave the clock here. It's mine. I bought it and 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:33.800 paid for it. Is a such a classic Larry move, 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.720 I know. And if I had a dime for every time. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.760 You know, one of Emily's boyfriends came over to look 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:48.160 at our antique clocks. Right, they're new and wholesale. Certainly 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.360 it's making sense to you, huh, I think, uh, yeah, 0:13:50.600 --> 0:14:00.760 I know this story well. Um In thes that followed 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:03.800 after Doris left, Larry and the cuckoo clock got along 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:07.440 even worse than before. For one thing, the cuckoo stayed 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:10.480 inside most of the time, sometimes even at twelve o'clock, 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.120 when he should have been busiest, and if he did 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.880 come out at all, he usually spoke only once or twice, 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:19.920 never the correct number of times, and there was a sullen, 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.880 uncooperative tone in his voice, the jarring sound that made 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:27.640 Larry uneasy and a little angry. But he kept the 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.480 clock wound because the house was very still and quiet, 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:32.760 and it got on his nerves not to hear someone 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:36.720 running around talking and dropping things, And even the worrying 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:39.760 of a clock sounded good to him. But he didn't 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:44.480 like the cuckoo at all, and sometimes he spoke to him. Listen, 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:47.120 he said late one night, to the closed little door. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.520 I know you can hear me. I ought to give 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.280 you back to the Germans, back to the black forest. 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:55.440 He paced back and forth. I wonder what they're doing now, 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.400 the two of them, young punk, with his books and 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.440 his antiques. A man shouldn't be interested in antiques. That's 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:05.520 for women, he said, his jaw, isn't that right? The 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.840 clock said nothing. Larry walked up in front of it. 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.800 Isn't that right, he demanded. Don't you have anything to say? 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.360 He looked at the face of the clock. It was 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:18.800 almost eleven, just a few seconds before the hour. All right, 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.640 I'll wait until eleven. Then I want to hear what 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:24.520 you have to say. You've been pretty quiet the last 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.720 few weeks since she left, he grinned, Riley. Maybe you 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.720 don't like it here since she's gone, he scowled. While 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.320 I paid for you, and you're coming out, whether you 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:37.520 like it or not. You hear me. Eleven o'clock came 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.560 far off at the end of town. The great tower 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:45.000 clock boomed sleepily to itself, but the little door remained shut. 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.360 Nothing moved, The minute hand passed on, and the cuckoo 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:53.000 did not stir. It was someplace inside the clock, beyond 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:56.600 the door, silent and remote. All right, if that's the 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.800 way you feel, Larry murmured, his lips twisting. But it 0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:02.560 is and fair. It's your job to come out. We 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.040 all have to do things we don't like. He went 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.880 unhappily into the kitchen and opened the great gleaming refrigerator. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.880 As he poured himself a drink, he thought about the clock. 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.160 There was no doubt about it. The cuckoo should come 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.440 out doors or no. Doris. He had always liked her 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.160 from the very start. They had got along well, the 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:24.720 two of them. Probably he liked Bob too. Probably he 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.120 had seen enough of Bob to get to know him. 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.840 They would be quite happy together, Bob and Doris and 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:33.880 the cuckoo. Larry finished his drink. He opened the drawer 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.440 at the sink and took out the hammer. He carried 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.600 it carefully into the dining room. The clock was taking 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:43.680 gently to itself on the wall. Look, he said, waving 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.120 the hammock. You know what I have here. You know 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.520 what I'm gonna do with it. I'm gonna start on 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.680 you first, he smiled, Birds of a feather, that's what 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:57.240 you are, the three of you. Larry is losing it, 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:01.280 I think, Chuck. Yeah, that she split. Yeah, he kicked him. 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.080 He kicked her out with Chambers when he caught them. 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.280 And now he's just alone with his thoughts, drunk in 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:09.440 a hammer and uh, the cuckoo clock. That's really taking 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:14.400 him off. Like so many Germans. The room was silent. 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.560 Are you coming out or do I have to come 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.600 in and get you? The clock word a little. I 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:23.159 hear you in there. You've got a lot of talking 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.879 to do. Enough for the last three weeks, as I 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:30.560 figure it, you owe me. The door opened, the cuckoo 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:35.520 came out fast, straight at him. Larry was looking down, 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.199 his brow wrinkled and thought. He glanced up, and the 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:42.920 cuckoo caught him squarely in the up. Down He went 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.840 to hammer and share and everything, hitting the floor with 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.680 a tremendous crash. For a moment, the cuckoo paused, his 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.600 small body poised rigidly. Then it went back inside its house. 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.560 The door snapped tight shut after it. The man lay 0:17:57.600 --> 0:18:01.520 on the floor, stretched out grotesque, his head bent over 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:07.280 to one side. Nothing moved horse. The room was completely silent, except, 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:15.280 of course, for the ticking of the clock. Did this 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:19.720 clock kill him? Did you read the story? I mean no, 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:25.480 I like to be surprised. Well, then wait for the rest, chuck, 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.840 and you take it from here? Do you read him 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:33.960 ahead of time? Oh? Man, I don't. They would like 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:41.080 to go in fresh like Castanza's dad. I see, Doris said, 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.400 her face tight. Bob put his arm around her, steadying her. 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:48.560 Doctor Bob said, can I ask you something? Of course, 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:52.000 the doctor said, is it very easy to break your 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:55.640 neck falling from so low a chair? It wasn't very 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.119 far to fall. I wonder if it might not have 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:01.240 been an accident. Is there an chance it might have 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:06.240 been suicide? The doctor rubbed his jaw. I never heard 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:08.640 of anyone committing suicide that way. It was an accident. 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:13.600 I'm positive I don't mean suicide. Bob murmured under his breath, 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.240 looking up at the clock on the wall. I meant 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:27.159 something else, but no one heard him. Beautiful Chuck Pravo 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:30.280 killed that man? It did? It didn't like that Guff. 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.080 I think the threat with the hammer is what really 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:35.919 pushed the cuckoo over the edge, so straight into the 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:39.760 brain through the orbital socket there, I guess, or else 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:43.080 it caught him so surprised that he threw himself back 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.560 off the chair and broke his neck on the floor. 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:48.280 Who knows the doctor is ever gonna find out? He's 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.840 clearly lazy. Yeah, this doctor doesn't care. The big question 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:55.040 is did Doris do a little twirl when she found 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:57.239 out that Larry had died and that the cuckoo had 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:59.520 killed him? And I think so, And I think Bob 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:03.240 should be free to quite honestly, I think Bob's gonna 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:08.360 be okay because the cuckoo is clearly a demon servant 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.560 of Doris, and if Doris is happy with Bob, then 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.960 Bob's in the right Bob needs to stay on doors 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:19.080 is good side or then yeah, he's in trouble. If not, alright, 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:23.800 good pick, good pick too. Oh yeah that was my pick. Thanks, 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:26.000 I appreciate it, and we're gonna do your pick, which 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:28.200 I've got to say, of the two, this is I mean, 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.280 this is just straight up great horror fiction. Yeah, this 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:36.280 is good stuff. This is from an author named m. R. James, 0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:40.199 not Mr James, no Mr James, m R James, and 0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:43.800 it's called Rats. And I hope everyone is joining this 0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:49.440 add free episode per tradition, Yeah, per Halloween scary, scare 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:52.040 the pants off and then back on you traditions. Right. 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:55.439 We're not even gonna plug our book that's available for preorder. No, 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.639 I can't see us plugging stuff. You should know Colon 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:02.399 and Complete Companion mostly interesting things in an ad free 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:05.600 episode right now or the audio book since people are 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:08.879 listening to us reading. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.199 we would never say something along the lines of like 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:14.240 It's available for pre order now everywhere you buy books, 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:18.480 and out in November. Right, Okay, I think we've killed 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:21.960 the spooky mood enough. Oh it was dead from the 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:24.840 beginning when we were laughing at Larry being such a jerk, 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:27.439 you know, all right, gather the kids around, everyone, and 0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:32.600 here we go with rats by m R James. Shall 0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.000 I start this one? I think so? Man, all right? 0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:43.360 And if you was to walk through the bedrooms now, 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:47.240 you'd see the ragged, moldy bedcloths, a heaving and a 0:21:47.359 --> 0:21:51.000 heaving like seas, and the heaving and to heaving with 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:56.720 what he says, why with the rats under him? It's 0:21:56.720 --> 0:21:59.240 a good start, huh it is. It's a great start. 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.320 But was it with the rats? I ask, because in 0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:06.320 another case it was not. I cannot put a date 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.000 to the story, but I was young when I heard it, 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:12.520 and the teller was old. It is an ill proportioned tale, 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:16.240 but that is my fault, not his. It happened in Suffolk, 0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:22.760 near the coast, or however you pronounced Suffolk, in a 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:25.440 place where the road makes a sudden dip and then 0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:28.840 a sudden rise as you go northward. At the top 0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:30.760 of the rise stands a house on the left of 0:22:30.800 --> 0:22:33.920 the road. It is a tall red brick house, narrow 0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:37.200 for its height. Perhaps it was built about seventeen seventy. 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:40.080 The top of the front has a low triangular pediment 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:43.600 with a round window in the center. Behind it are 0:22:43.680 --> 0:22:47.320 stables and offices in such garden as it has is 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:51.800 behind them. Scraggy Scotch firs are near it. An expanse 0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:55.760 of gorse covered land stretches away from it. It commands 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:58.120 a view of the distant sea from the upper windows 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.480 of the front. A sign the post stands before the door, 0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:05.080 or did so stand for though it was an inn 0:23:05.119 --> 0:23:08.159 of repute once, I believe it is so no longer. 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:12.280 To this end came my acquaintance Mr. Thompson, when he 0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:14.880 was a young man on a fine spring day, coming 0:23:14.920 --> 0:23:18.320 from the University of Cambridge, and desirous of solitude and 0:23:18.400 --> 0:23:22.480 tolerable quarters and time for reading. These he found for 0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:25.199 the landlord and his wife had been in service and 0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:28.000 could make a visitor comfortable, and there was no one 0:23:28.040 --> 0:23:30.520 else staying in the inn. He had a large room 0:23:30.520 --> 0:23:32.760 in the first floor, commanding the road and the view, 0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:36.679 and if it faced east, why that could not be helped? 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:42.000 The house was well built and warm, very nice, thank you, 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:47.080 and mar James knows how to set things, doesn't me? Okay. 0:23:50.960 --> 0:23:54.639 He spent very tranquil and uneventful days, working all the 0:23:54.680 --> 0:23:58.760 morning and afternoon, perambulation of the country round, a little 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:01.560 conversation with country company or the people of the inn 0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:04.720 in the evening over the then fashionable drink of brandy 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:07.800 and water, a little more reading and writing, and bed, 0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:10.760 and he would have been content that this should continue 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:13.680 for the full month he had at his disposal. So 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:16.560 well was his work progressing, and so fine was the 0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.159 April of that year, which I have reason to believe 0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:22.600 was that which Orlando Whistlecraft chronicles in his weather record 0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:25.440 as the charming year, which, by the way, I looked 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:32.439 that up, and that would be. One of his walks 0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:34.960 took him along the Northern road, which stands high and 0:24:35.000 --> 0:24:38.400 traverses a wide common called the Heath. On the bright 0:24:38.440 --> 0:24:41.400 afternoon when he first chose this direction, his eye caught 0:24:41.400 --> 0:24:43.960 a white object some hundreds of yards to the left 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:46.400 of the road, and he felt it necessary to make 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:49.480 sure what this might be. It was not long before 0:24:49.480 --> 0:24:51.760 he was standing by it, and he found himself looking 0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:55.159 at a square block of white stone, fashioned somewhat like 0:24:55.200 --> 0:24:57.399