Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff You Should Know, a production of Five
Speaker 1: Heart Radios How Stuff Works. Hello, and welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Josh Scare the pants off you Clark, and there's
Speaker 1: Charles Ghastly, Chuck Bryant and Jerry's floating out there somewhere
Speaker 1: in the ether, which makes this Stuff you Should Know.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say, Chuck, scare the
Speaker 1: pants back on you Bryant. Oh, that's even better. Maybe
Speaker 1: we should edit that in and say it again. But
Speaker 1: with feeling. That's as much feeling as I can mustard
Speaker 1: these days. Man. I'm with you, buddy, I'm with you,
Speaker 1: but we're not here to talk about anything in the
Speaker 1: world except scaring the pants off and then act on
Speaker 1: people with our annual Halloween episode correct sir, So Chuck,
Speaker 1: we come up with a couple of pretty good ones.
Speaker 1: I would say this year, I'm in love with yours.
Speaker 1: I think these are both really good. And I was
Speaker 1: surprised to see Philip paid Dick had stuff in the
Speaker 1: public domain. Well we read one of his last year.
Speaker 1: Did yeah that the Hanging Man I think is what
Speaker 1: it was called. It was very scary, very creepy, but
Speaker 1: I think it was just last year that his stuff
Speaker 1: first came in, which goes to show you how old
Speaker 1: we are. I think it's not an age thing, right,
Speaker 1: I think just certain ones were put in the public domain.
Speaker 1: I feel like if they don't copyrighted after X number
Speaker 1: of decades, automatically goes into the public domain. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's because we're old. Well, hats off to
Speaker 1: Phil Dick for his great work. That's right, hats off
Speaker 1: and pants off mics on. So you want to get
Speaker 1: started with the Beyond the Door? Yeah, let's do it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll take the part. How about that? It sounds wonderful.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, Please dim your lights, please um arouse
Speaker 1: your sympathetic nervous systems, and prepared to hear Beyond the
Speaker 1: Door by Philip K. Dick. Larry Thomas bought a cuckoo
Speaker 1: clock for his wife, without knowing the price he would
Speaker 1: have to pay. That night, at the dinner table, he
Speaker 1: brought it out and set it down beside her plate.
Speaker 1: Doris stared at it, her hand to her mouth. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what is it? She looked up at him,
Speaker 1: bright eyed. Well open it. Doris tore the ribbon in
Speaker 1: paper from the square package with her sharp nails, her
Speaker 1: bosom rising and falling. Larry stood watching her as she
Speaker 1: lifted the lid. He lit a cigarette and leaned against
Speaker 1: the wall. A cuckoo clock, doors cried, a real old
Speaker 1: cuckoo clock, like my mother had. She turned the clock
Speaker 1: over and over, just like my mother had when Pete
Speaker 1: was still alive. Her eyes sparkled with tears. It's made
Speaker 1: in Germany, Larry said. After a moment, he added, Carl
Speaker 1: got it for me wholesale. He knows some guy in
Speaker 1: the clock business. Otherwise I wouldn't have He stopped. Doris
Speaker 1: made a funny little sound. I mean, otherwise I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have been able to afford it. He scowled. What's the
Speaker 1: matter with you? You got your clock, haven't you. Isn't
Speaker 1: that what you want? Doris sat holding onto the clock,
Speaker 1: her fingers pressed against the brown wood well. Larry said,
Speaker 1: what's the matter. He watched an amazement as she leaped
Speaker 1: up and ran from the room, still clutching the clock.
Speaker 1: He shook his head, never satisfied, they're all that way,
Speaker 1: never get enough. He sat down at the table and
Speaker 1: finished his meal. So I think we have a puts
Speaker 1: on our hands. Chuck. Yeah, And I gotta say, I've
Speaker 1: seen you with Humi and you're a wonderful husband. But
Speaker 1: you played the part of your husband very well. Thank
Speaker 1: you very much. I think from time to time you
Speaker 1: might say I'm a natural. No, that was that was
Speaker 1: well done. I don't I wonder what this guy's problem
Speaker 1: is already. I'm guessing he's like a mid fifties average dude.
Speaker 1: Not a very good gift giver. No, I mean, here's
Speaker 1: a great gift. And let me just urinate all over.
Speaker 1: Hold it still, so I don't mess. All right, you're ready,
Speaker 1: I'm ready, Right, here we go. The cuckoo clock was
Speaker 1: not very large. It was handmade, however, and there were
Speaker 1: countless frets on it, little indentations and ornaments scored in
Speaker 1: the soft wood. Doris sat on the bed, drying her
Speaker 1: eyes and winding the clock. She set the hands by
Speaker 1: her wristwatch. Presently, she carefully moved the hands to two
Speaker 1: minutes of ten. She carried the clock over to the
Speaker 1: dresser and propped it up. Then she sat waiting, her
Speaker 1: hands twisted together in her lap, waiting for the cuckoo
Speaker 1: to come out for the hour to strike. As she sat,
Speaker 1: she thought about Larry and what he had said, and
Speaker 1: what she had said too, for that matter, not that
Speaker 1: she could be blamed for any of it. After all,
Speaker 1: she couldn't keep listening to him forever without defending herself.
Speaker 1: You had to blow your own trumpet in the world.
Speaker 1: She touched her handkerchief to her eyes. Suddenly, Why did
Speaker 1: he have to say that about getting it wholesale? Why
Speaker 1: did he have to spoil it all? If he felt
Speaker 1: that way, he needn't have got it in the first place.
Speaker 1: She clenched her fists. He was so mean, so dang mean.
Speaker 1: But she was glad that the little clock sitting there,
Speaker 1: ticking to itself with its funny grilled edges in the door.
Speaker 1: Inside the door was the cuckoo waiting to come out?
Speaker 1: Was he listening his head cocked on one side, listening
Speaker 1: to hear the clock strike so that he would know
Speaker 1: to come out? Did he sleep between hours? Well, she
Speaker 1: would soon see him, she could ask him, and she
Speaker 1: would show the clock to Bob. He would love it.
Speaker 1: Bob loved old things, even old stamps and buttons. He
Speaker 1: liked to go with her to the stores. Of course,
Speaker 1: it was a little awkward, but Larry had been staying
Speaker 1: at the office so much, and that helped off. Only
Speaker 1: Larry didn't call up sometimes too. There was a wir
Speaker 1: the clock shuttered, and all at once the door opened.
Speaker 1: The cuckoo came out, sliding swiftly. He paused and looked around, solemnly,
Speaker 1: scrutinizing her, the room, the furniture. It was the first
Speaker 1: time he had seen her, she realized, Smiling to herself
Speaker 1: in pleasure, she stood up, coming toward him shyly. Go on,
Speaker 1: she said, I'm waiting. The cuckoo opened his bill. He
Speaker 1: worred and chirped quickly rhythmically. Then after a moment of contemplation,
Speaker 1: he retired and the door snap shut. She was delighted.
Speaker 1: She clapped her hands and spun in a little circle.
Speaker 1: She five years old. I guess she's a tad dad.
Speaker 1: I love it. He was marvelous, perfect, and the way
Speaker 1: he had looked around, studying her, sizing her up. He
Speaker 1: liked her. She was certain of it, and she of
Speaker 1: course loved him at once completely. He was just what
Speaker 1: she had hoped would come out of the little door.
Speaker 1: Doris went to the clock. She bent over the little door,
Speaker 1: her lips close to the woods. Do you hear me?
Speaker 1: She whispered. I think you're the most wonderful cuckoo in
Speaker 1: the world. She paused, embarrassed. I hope you'll like it here.
Speaker 1: Then she went downstairs again, slowly, her head high. Very nice, Chuck.
Speaker 1: That was a great Doris. And I think I didn't
Speaker 1: know where Doris is coming from. She's very likable at
Speaker 1: this point. She's delighted by simple things, right. She does
Speaker 1: little twirls and spins and stuff, which I mean, how
Speaker 1: can you dislike that? You know? Okay, I'm picking up
Speaker 1: again with moa. Larry and the cuckoo clock really never
Speaker 1: got along well from the start. Doris said it was
Speaker 1: because he didn't wind it right and it didn't like
Speaker 1: being only half wound all the time. Larry turned the
Speaker 1: job of winding over to her. The cuckoo came out
Speaker 1: every quarter hour and ran the spring down without remorse,
Speaker 1: and someone had to be ever after it winding it
Speaker 1: up again. Doris did her best, but she forgot a
Speaker 1: good deal of the time. Then Larry would throw his
Speaker 1: newspaper down with an elaborate weary motion and stand up.
Speaker 1: He would go into the dining room, where the clock
Speaker 1: was mounted on the wall over the fireplace. He would
Speaker 1: take the clock down, and making sure that he had
Speaker 1: his thumb over the little door, he would wind it up.
Speaker 1: Why do you put your thumb over the door, Doris asked,
Speaker 1: Once you're supposed to? She raised an eyebrow. Are you sure?
Speaker 1: I wonder if it isn't that you don't want him
Speaker 1: to come out while you're standing so close? Why not?
Speaker 1: Maybe you're afraid of him? Larry laughed. He put the
Speaker 1: clock back on the wall and gingerly removed his thumb.
Speaker 1: When Doris wasn't looking, he examined his thumb. There was
Speaker 1: still a trace of the nick cut out of the
Speaker 1: soft part of it. Who or what had pecked him? Oh, boy, chuck,
Speaker 1: I think it's your turning. All right, it's getting eerie,
Speaker 1: a little eerie. What's in the clock death? What's in
Speaker 1: the clock death? All right? Here we go, okay. One
Speaker 1: Saturday morning, when Larry was down at the office working
Speaker 1: over some important special accounts, Bob Chambers came to the
Speaker 1: front porch and rang the bell. Doris was taking a
Speaker 1: quick shower. She'd dried herself and slipped into her robe.
Speaker 1: When she opened the door, Bob stepped inside, grinning, Hi,
Speaker 1: he said, looking around. It's all right, Larry's at the office. Fine.
Speaker 1: Bob gazed at her slim legs below the hymn of
Speaker 1: the robe. How nice you look today, she laughed, Be careful.
Speaker 1: Maybe I shouldn't let you in. After all, it's getting naughty,
Speaker 1: very naughty. They looked at one another, half amused, half frightened. Presently,
Speaker 1: Bob said, if you want, i'll know. For God's sake,
Speaker 1: She caught hold of his sleeve. Just get out of
Speaker 1: the doorway so I can close it. Mrs Peters across
Speaker 1: the street. You know. She closed the door, and I
Speaker 1: want to show you something, she said, you haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: He was interested, an antique or what she doesn't of course,
Speaker 1: what else would it be. She took his arm, leading
Speaker 1: him toward the dining room. You'll love it, Bobby, she stopped,
Speaker 1: wide eyed. I hope you will. You must, you must
Speaker 1: love it. It means so much to me. He means
Speaker 1: so much. He Bob frowned. Who is he? Doris laughed, Oh,
Speaker 1: you're jealous. Come on. A moment later, they stood before
Speaker 1: the clock, looking up at it. He'll come out in
Speaker 1: a few minutes. Wait until you see him. I know
Speaker 1: you two will get along just fine. What does Larry
Speaker 1: think of him? They don't like each other. Sometimes when
Speaker 1: Larry's here, he won't come out. Larry gets mad if
Speaker 1: he doesn't come out on time, he says, says what.
Speaker 1: Doris looked down. He always says he's been robbed, even
Speaker 1: if he did get it wholesale. She brightened. But I
Speaker 1: know he won't come out because he doesn't like Larry.
Speaker 1: When I'm here alone, he comes right out for me
Speaker 1: every fifteen minutes, even though he really only has to
Speaker 1: come out on the hour. She gazed up at the clock.
Speaker 1: He comes out for me because he wants to we talk.
Speaker 1: I tell him things. Of course, I'd like to have
Speaker 1: him upstairs in my room, but it wouldn't be right.
Speaker 1: There was a sound of footsteps on the porch. They
Speaker 1: looked at each other horrified. Larry pushed the front door open, grunting.
Speaker 1: He set his briefcase down and took off his hat.
Speaker 1: Then he saw Bob for the first time. Chambers, I'll
Speaker 1: be darned. His eyes narrowed. What are you doing here?
Speaker 1: He came into the dining room. Doris drew her robe
Speaker 1: around her hopelessly backing away. I uh, Bob began that
Speaker 1: that is we uh. He broke off, glancing at Doris. Suddenly,
Speaker 1: the clock began to were The cuckoo came rushing out,
Speaker 1: bursting into sound. Larry moved toward him. Shut that din off,
Speaker 1: he said. He raised his fist toward the clock. The
Speaker 1: cuckoo snapped into silence and retreated. The door closed. That's better,
Speaker 1: Larry studied, Doris and Job, standing mutely together. I came
Speaker 1: over to look at the clock, Bob said. Doris told
Speaker 1: me that it's a rare antique and that nuts. I
Speaker 1: bought it myself. Larry walked up to him. Get out
Speaker 1: of here, he turned the Doris YouTube and take that
Speaker 1: dank clock with you, he paused, rubbing his chin. No,
Speaker 1: leave the clock here. It's mine. I bought it and
Speaker 1: paid for it. Is a such a classic Larry move,
Speaker 1: I know. And if I had a dime for every time.
Speaker 1: You know, one of Emily's boyfriends came over to look
Speaker 1: at our antique clocks. Right, they're new and wholesale. Certainly
Speaker 1: it's making sense to you, huh, I think, uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know this story well. Um In thes that followed
Speaker 1: after Doris left, Larry and the cuckoo clock got along
Speaker 1: even worse than before. For one thing, the cuckoo stayed
Speaker 1: inside most of the time, sometimes even at twelve o'clock,
Speaker 1: when he should have been busiest, and if he did
Speaker 1: come out at all, he usually spoke only once or twice,
Speaker 1: never the correct number of times, and there was a sullen,
Speaker 1: uncooperative tone in his voice, the jarring sound that made
Speaker 1: Larry uneasy and a little angry. But he kept the
Speaker 1: clock wound because the house was very still and quiet,
Speaker 1: and it got on his nerves not to hear someone
Speaker 1: running around talking and dropping things, And even the worrying
Speaker 1: of a clock sounded good to him. But he didn't
Speaker 1: like the cuckoo at all, and sometimes he spoke to him. Listen,
Speaker 1: he said late one night, to the closed little door.
Speaker 1: I know you can hear me. I ought to give
Speaker 1: you back to the Germans, back to the black forest.
Speaker 1: He paced back and forth. I wonder what they're doing now,
Speaker 1: the two of them, young punk, with his books and
Speaker 1: his antiques. A man shouldn't be interested in antiques. That's
Speaker 1: for women, he said, his jaw, isn't that right? The
Speaker 1: clock said nothing. Larry walked up in front of it.
Speaker 1: Isn't that right, he demanded. Don't you have anything to say?
Speaker 1: He looked at the face of the clock. It was
Speaker 1: almost eleven, just a few seconds before the hour. All right,
Speaker 1: I'll wait until eleven. Then I want to hear what
Speaker 1: you have to say. You've been pretty quiet the last
Speaker 1: few weeks since she left, he grinned, Riley. Maybe you
Speaker 1: don't like it here since she's gone, he scowled. While
Speaker 1: I paid for you, and you're coming out, whether you
Speaker 1: like it or not. You hear me. Eleven o'clock came
Speaker 1: far off at the end of town. The great tower
Speaker 1: clock boomed sleepily to itself, but the little door remained shut.
Speaker 1: Nothing moved, The minute hand passed on, and the cuckoo
Speaker 1: did not stir. It was someplace inside the clock, beyond
Speaker 1: the door, silent and remote. All right, if that's the
Speaker 1: way you feel, Larry murmured, his lips twisting. But it
Speaker 1: is and fair. It's your job to come out. We
Speaker 1: all have to do things we don't like. He went
Speaker 1: unhappily into the kitchen and opened the great gleaming refrigerator.
Speaker 1: As he poured himself a drink, he thought about the clock.
Speaker 1: There was no doubt about it. The cuckoo should come
Speaker 1: out doors or no. Doris. He had always liked her
Speaker 1: from the very start. They had got along well, the
Speaker 1: two of them. Probably he liked Bob too. Probably he
Speaker 1: had seen enough of Bob to get to know him.
Speaker 1: They would be quite happy together, Bob and Doris and
Speaker 1: the cuckoo. Larry finished his drink. He opened the drawer
Speaker 1: at the sink and took out the hammer. He carried
Speaker 1: it carefully into the dining room. The clock was taking
Speaker 1: gently to itself on the wall. Look, he said, waving
Speaker 1: the hammock. You know what I have here. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do with it. I'm gonna start on
Speaker 1: you first, he smiled, Birds of a feather, that's what
Speaker 1: you are, the three of you. Larry is losing it,
Speaker 1: I think, Chuck. Yeah, that she split. Yeah, he kicked him.
Speaker 1: He kicked her out with Chambers when he caught them.
Speaker 1: And now he's just alone with his thoughts, drunk in
Speaker 1: a hammer and uh, the cuckoo clock. That's really taking
Speaker 1: him off. Like so many Germans. The room was silent.
Speaker 1: Are you coming out or do I have to come
Speaker 1: in and get you? The clock word a little. I
Speaker 1: hear you in there. You've got a lot of talking
Speaker 1: to do. Enough for the last three weeks, as I
Speaker 1: figure it, you owe me. The door opened, the cuckoo
Speaker 1: came out fast, straight at him. Larry was looking down,
Speaker 1: his brow wrinkled and thought. He glanced up, and the
Speaker 1: cuckoo caught him squarely in the up. Down He went
Speaker 1: to hammer and share and everything, hitting the floor with
Speaker 1: a tremendous crash. For a moment, the cuckoo paused, his
Speaker 1: small body poised rigidly. Then it went back inside its house.
Speaker 1: The door snapped tight shut after it. The man lay
Speaker 1: on the floor, stretched out grotesque, his head bent over
Speaker 1: to one side. Nothing moved horse. The room was completely silent, except,
Speaker 1: of course, for the ticking of the clock. Did this
Speaker 1: clock kill him? Did you read the story? I mean no,
Speaker 1: I like to be surprised. Well, then wait for the rest, chuck,
Speaker 1: and you take it from here? Do you read him
Speaker 1: ahead of time? Oh? Man, I don't. They would like
Speaker 1: to go in fresh like Castanza's dad. I see, Doris said,
Speaker 1: her face tight. Bob put his arm around her, steadying her.
Speaker 1: Doctor Bob said, can I ask you something? Of course,
Speaker 1: the doctor said, is it very easy to break your
Speaker 1: neck falling from so low a chair? It wasn't very
Speaker 1: far to fall. I wonder if it might not have
Speaker 1: been an accident. Is there an chance it might have
Speaker 1: been suicide? The doctor rubbed his jaw. I never heard
Speaker 1: of anyone committing suicide that way. It was an accident.
Speaker 1: I'm positive I don't mean suicide. Bob murmured under his breath,
Speaker 1: looking up at the clock on the wall. I meant
Speaker 1: something else, but no one heard him. Beautiful Chuck Pravo
Speaker 1: killed that man? It did? It didn't like that Guff.
Speaker 1: I think the threat with the hammer is what really
Speaker 1: pushed the cuckoo over the edge, so straight into the
Speaker 1: brain through the orbital socket there, I guess, or else
Speaker 1: it caught him so surprised that he threw himself back
Speaker 1: off the chair and broke his neck on the floor.
Speaker 1: Who knows the doctor is ever gonna find out? He's
Speaker 1: clearly lazy. Yeah, this doctor doesn't care. The big question
Speaker 1: is did Doris do a little twirl when she found
Speaker 1: out that Larry had died and that the cuckoo had
Speaker 1: killed him? And I think so, And I think Bob
Speaker 1: should be free to quite honestly, I think Bob's gonna
Speaker 1: be okay because the cuckoo is clearly a demon servant
Speaker 1: of Doris, and if Doris is happy with Bob, then
Speaker 1: Bob's in the right Bob needs to stay on doors
Speaker 1: is good side or then yeah, he's in trouble. If not, alright,
Speaker 1: good pick, good pick too. Oh yeah that was my pick. Thanks,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, and we're gonna do your pick, which
Speaker 1: I've got to say, of the two, this is I mean,
Speaker 1: this is just straight up great horror fiction. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is good stuff. This is from an author named m. R. James,
Speaker 1: not Mr James, no Mr James, m R James, and
Speaker 1: it's called Rats. And I hope everyone is joining this
Speaker 1: add free episode per tradition, Yeah, per Halloween scary, scare
Speaker 1: the pants off and then back on you traditions. Right.
Speaker 1: We're not even gonna plug our book that's available for preorder. No,
Speaker 1: I can't see us plugging stuff. You should know Colon
Speaker 1: and Complete Companion mostly interesting things in an ad free
Speaker 1: episode right now or the audio book since people are
Speaker 1: listening to us reading. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But
Speaker 1: we would never say something along the lines of like
Speaker 1: It's available for pre order now everywhere you buy books,
Speaker 1: and out in November. Right, Okay, I think we've killed
Speaker 1: the spooky mood enough. Oh it was dead from the
Speaker 1: beginning when we were laughing at Larry being such a jerk,
Speaker 1: you know, all right, gather the kids around, everyone, and
Speaker 1: here we go with rats by m R James. Shall
Speaker 1: I start this one? I think so? Man, all right?
Speaker 1: And if you was to walk through the bedrooms now,
Speaker 1: you'd see the ragged, moldy bedcloths, a heaving and a
Speaker 1: heaving like seas, and the heaving and to heaving with
Speaker 1: what he says, why with the rats under him? It's
Speaker 1: a good start, huh it is. It's a great start.
Speaker 1: But was it with the rats? I ask, because in
Speaker 1: another case it was not. I cannot put a date
Speaker 1: to the story, but I was young when I heard it,
Speaker 1: and the teller was old. It is an ill proportioned tale,
Speaker 1: but that is my fault, not his. It happened in Suffolk,
Speaker 1: near the coast, or however you pronounced Suffolk, in a
Speaker 1: place where the road makes a sudden dip and then
Speaker 1: a sudden rise as you go northward. At the top
Speaker 1: of the rise stands a house on the left of
Speaker 1: the road. It is a tall red brick house, narrow
Speaker 1: for its height. Perhaps it was built about seventeen seventy.
Speaker 1: The top of the front has a low triangular pediment
Speaker 1: with a round window in the center. Behind it are
Speaker 1: stables and offices in such garden as it has is
Speaker 1: behind them. Scraggy Scotch firs are near it. An expanse
Speaker 1: of gorse covered land stretches away from it. It commands
Speaker 1: a view of the distant sea from the upper windows
Speaker 1: of the front. A sign the post stands before the door,
Speaker 1: or did so stand for though it was an inn
Speaker 1: of repute once, I believe it is so no longer.
Speaker 1: To this end came my acquaintance Mr. Thompson, when he
Speaker 1: was a young man on a fine spring day, coming
Speaker 1: from the University of Cambridge, and desirous of solitude and
Speaker 1: tolerable quarters and time for reading. These he found for
Speaker 1: the landlord and his wife had been in service and
Speaker 1: could make a visitor comfortable, and there was no one
Speaker 1: else staying in the inn. He had a large room
Speaker 1: in the first floor, commanding the road and the view,
Speaker 1: and if it faced east, why that could not be helped?
Speaker 1: The house was well built and warm, very nice, thank you,
Speaker 1: and mar James knows how to set things, doesn't me? Okay.
Speaker 1: He spent very tranquil and uneventful days, working all the
Speaker 1: morning and afternoon, perambulation of the country round, a little
Speaker 1: conversation with country company or the people of the inn
Speaker 1: in the evening over the then fashionable drink of brandy
Speaker 1: and water, a little more reading and writing, and bed,
Speaker 1: and he would have been content that this should continue
Speaker 1: for the full month he had at his disposal. So
Speaker 1: well was his work progressing, and so fine was the
Speaker 1: April of that year, which I have reason to believe
Speaker 1: was that which Orlando Whistlecraft chronicles in his weather record
Speaker 1: as the charming year, which, by the way, I looked
Speaker 1: that up, and that would be. One of his walks
Speaker 1: took him along the Northern road, which stands high and
Speaker 1: traverses a wide common called the Heath. On the bright
Speaker 1: afternoon when he first chose this direction, his eye caught
Speaker 1: a white object some hundreds of yards to the left
Speaker 1: of the road, and he felt it necessary to make
Speaker 1: sure what this might be. It was not long before
Speaker 1: he was standing by it, and he found himself looking
Speaker 1: at a square block of white stone, fashioned somewhat like
Speaker 1: the base of a pillar with a square hole in
Speaker 1: the upper surface, Just such another you might see this
Speaker 1: day on Thetford Heath. After taking stock of it, he
Speaker 1: contemplated for a few minutes the view, which offered a
Speaker 1: church tower or two, some red roofs of cottages and
Speaker 1: windows winking in the sun, and the expanse of sea,
Speaker 1: also with an occasional wink and gleam upon it. And
Speaker 1: so pursued his way, Let me keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1: In the desultory evening talk in the bar, he asked
Speaker 1: why the white stone was there on the common, an
Speaker 1: old fashioned thing, that is, said the landlord, Mr Betts.
Speaker 1: Way was none of us alive when that was put there,
Speaker 1: that's right, said another. It stands pretty high, said Mr Thompson.
Speaker 1: I dare say a sea mark was on it some
Speaker 1: time back. Yes, Mr Betts agreed. I have heard they
Speaker 1: could see it from the boats. But or ever there was,
Speaker 1: it fell to bits this long time. Good job too,
Speaker 1: said a third townt lucky mark by what the old
Speaker 1: men used to serve. Not look you for the fish,
Speaker 1: and I mean just sorry, Why ever not, said Thompson. Well,
Speaker 1: our never stray morself was the answer. But they had
Speaker 1: some funny what I mean, peculiar them old chaps, and
Speaker 1: I shouldn't wonder but what they made away with theirselves.
Speaker 1: And then Thompson said, can everyone stop eating beef stew
Speaker 1: while they're talking? I do have beef stew in my
Speaker 1: in my mouth right now, busted, man, they're kind of
Speaker 1: a funny bunch. Let me finish this one part. It
Speaker 1: was impossible to get anything clearer than this, I guess
Speaker 1: because the beefs too. The company, never very voluble, fell silent,
Speaker 1: and when next someone spoke, it was a village affairs
Speaker 1: and crops. Mr Betts was the speaker. All right, I
Speaker 1: love this story man, m R James draws you into
Speaker 1: it like plus also that that sounds like a very
Speaker 1: nice way to spend a month in fine weather, eating writing,
Speaker 1: walking around the countryside bed. That just sounds eating beef stew. Ye,
Speaker 1: great accents. I've been waiting years for that. I wonder
Speaker 1: if that was a a Suffolk one, Sure like it
Speaker 1: did on Suffolk. Suffolks do not every day did Thompson
Speaker 1: consult his health by taking a country walk. One very
Speaker 1: fine afternoon found him busily writing at three o'clock. Then
Speaker 1: he stretched himself and rose and walked out of his
Speaker 1: room into the passage. Facing him was another room, then
Speaker 1: the stairhead, then two more rooms, and one looking out
Speaker 1: to the back, the other to the south. At the
Speaker 1: south end of the passage was a window to which
Speaker 1: he went, considering with himself that it was rather a
Speaker 1: shame to waste such a fine afternoon. However, work was paramount.
Speaker 1: Just at the moment he thought he would just take
Speaker 1: five minutes off and go back to it, and those
Speaker 1: five minutes he would employ the betsy, as could not
Speaker 1: possibly object to looking at the other rooms in the passage,
Speaker 1: which he had never seen. Nobody at all, it seemed,
Speaker 1: was indoors, probably as it was market day, they were
Speaker 1: all gone to the town except perhaps a maid in
Speaker 1: the bar. Very still the house was, and the sun
Speaker 1: shone really hot. Early flies buzzed in the window panes.
Speaker 1: So he explored. The room facing his own was undistinguished
Speaker 1: except for an old print of Bury Saint Edmund's. The
Speaker 1: two next to him on his side of the passage
Speaker 1: were gay and clean, with one window apiece, whereas his
Speaker 1: had two remained. In the southwest room opposite to the last,
Speaker 1: which he had entered. This was locked, but Thompson was
Speaker 1: in a mood of quite indefensible curiosity, and feeling confident
Speaker 1: that there could be no damaging secrets in a place
Speaker 1: so easily got at, he proceeded to fetch the key
Speaker 1: of his own room, and when that did not answer,
Speaker 1: to collect the keys of the other three. It sounds
Speaker 1: like he's doing a lot of work to get in there.
Speaker 1: To me, he really wants to see what's in that room.
Speaker 1: One of them fitted, and he opened the door. The
Speaker 1: room had two windows looking south and west, so it
Speaker 1: was as bright and the sun as hot upon it
Speaker 1: as could be. Here there was no carpet, but bare boards,
Speaker 1: no pictures, no washing stand, only a bed in the
Speaker 1: farther corner, an iron bed with mattress and bolster, covered
Speaker 1: with a bluish check counterpane. This featureless room, as you
Speaker 1: can well imagine, And yet there was something that made
Speaker 1: Thompson close the door very quickly and yet quietly behind him,
Speaker 1: and lean against the window sill in the passage, actually
Speaker 1: quivering all over. It was this that under the counterpane
Speaker 1: someone lay, and not only lay, but stirred that it
Speaker 1: was some one and not something was certain because the
Speaker 1: shape of the head was unmistakable on the bolster, and
Speaker 1: yet it was all covered. And no one lies with
Speaker 1: covered head but a dead person. And this was not dead,
Speaker 1: not truly dead for it heaved and shivered. Who I know? Counterpain?
Speaker 1: By the ways a bedspread? So he saw something laying
Speaker 1: covered under a bedspread on the bed. Do you guys
Speaker 1: not have a counter pain? Or we know what a
Speaker 1: counterpain was? Sure, we got counterpains in all of our
Speaker 1: beds I had. Well, we do too, but we don't
Speaker 1: call him counterpains because we're not nineteenth century briads. Weird.
Speaker 1: What do you call him? Um? Bedspreads, blankets, beds, bedspread? Yeah, bedspread? Interesting,
Speaker 1: you've never heard bedspread? Or you don't call him bed spreads.
Speaker 1: I call him counterpains. Yeah, but bedspreads a lot, a
Speaker 1: lot fun? Or to stay because it rhymes, because that's right?
Speaker 1: Was that counterpaint? Do you want me to start ahead?
Speaker 1: Where'd you leave off? I left off at? Shivered? Heaved
Speaker 1: and shivered. This dead thing under the counterpane. Okay. If
Speaker 1: he had seen these things in dusk or by the
Speaker 1: light of a flickering candle, Thompson could have comforted himself
Speaker 1: and talked of fancy on this bright day, that was impossible.
Speaker 1: What was to be done? First, locked the door at
Speaker 1: all costs. Very gingerly, he approached it, and, bending down, listened,
Speaker 1: holding his breath. Perhaps there might be a sound of
Speaker 1: heavy breathing in a prosaic explanation. There was absolute silence.
Speaker 1: But as with a rather tremulous hand, he put the
Speaker 1: key into the hole and turned it. It rattled, and
Speaker 1: on the instant a stumbling, patting tread was heard coming
Speaker 1: towards door. Thompson fled like a rabbit to his room
Speaker 1: and locked himself in futile enough he knew it was
Speaker 1: would doors and locks be any obstacle to what he suspected?
Speaker 1: But it was all he could think of at the moment,
Speaker 1: And in fact nothing happened. Only there was a time
Speaker 1: of acute suspense, followed by a misery of doubt as
Speaker 1: to what to do. The impulse, of course, was to
Speaker 1: slip away as soon as possible from a house which
Speaker 1: contained such an inmate. But only the day before he
Speaker 1: had said he should be staying for at least a
Speaker 1: week more, And how if he changed his plans could
Speaker 1: he avoid the suspicion of having pried into places where
Speaker 1: he certainly had no business. Moreover, either the bets is
Speaker 1: knew all about the inmate and yet did not leave
Speaker 1: the house, or knew nothing, which equally meant that there
Speaker 1: was nothing to be afraid of, or knew just enough
Speaker 1: to make them shut up the room, but not enough
Speaker 1: to weigh on their spirits. In any of these cases,
Speaker 1: it seemed that not much was to be feared, and certainly,
Speaker 1: so far as he had no sort of ugly experience,
Speaker 1: the whole the line of least resistance was to stay.
Speaker 1: You know, all this guy had to do is go
Speaker 1: downstairs and say, you know what, change of plans, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be moving on, great house? So long? Three yeah,
Speaker 1: three stars, or maybe two now yeah. Or he could
Speaker 1: have just run right out of the place and down
Speaker 1: to the sea and swam away. It's a good point too,
Speaker 1: you want to keep going? Or shall I pick up?
Speaker 1: I think it's your turn, right. Well, he stayed out
Speaker 1: as weak because he was so dumb he couldn't think
Speaker 1: of a good excuse to leave. Nothing took him past
Speaker 1: that door, and often he would pause in a quiet
Speaker 1: hour of the day or night in the passage, and listen,
Speaker 1: and listen, no sound whatsoever issued from that direction. You
Speaker 1: might have thought that Thompson would have made some attempt
Speaker 1: at ferreting out stories connected with the end, hardly perhaps
Speaker 1: from bets, but from the parson of the parish, or
Speaker 1: old people in the village, or the stew eaters at
Speaker 1: the bar. But no. The reticence which commonly falls on
Speaker 1: people who have strange experiences and believe in them, was
Speaker 1: upon him. Nevertheless, as the end of his day drew near,
Speaker 1: his yearning after some kind of explanation grew more and
Speaker 1: more acute. On his solitary walks, he persisted in planning
Speaker 1: out some way the least obtrusive of getting another daylight
Speaker 1: glimpse into that room, and eventually arrived at this scheme.
Speaker 1: He would leave by an afternoon train about four o'clock,
Speaker 1: when his fly was waiting and his luggage on it,
Speaker 1: he would make one lass expedition upstairs to look around
Speaker 1: his own room and see if anything was left unpacked,
Speaker 1: and then, with that key which he had contrived to oil,
Speaker 1: as if that made any difference, the door should once
Speaker 1: more be opened for a moment and shut so it
Speaker 1: worked out, the bill was paid. The consequent small talk
Speaker 1: gone through while the fly was loaded. And it flies
Speaker 1: like an uber is that right, basically? Or a lift
Speaker 1: or a black taxi, all driven by legal employees, regardless
Speaker 1: of how you feel about that, Yes, well compensated legal employees.
Speaker 1: Pleasant part of the country, been very comfortable thanks to
Speaker 1: you and miss Betts. Hope to come back soon sometime
Speaker 1: on one side. On the other, very glad you found satisfaction, sir,
Speaker 1: done our best, always glad to have your good word,
Speaker 1: very much favored. We've been with the weather to be sure.
Speaker 1: This accents over the maybe a little irish and there.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what happened. I think you just slipped
Speaker 1: into oscar wild. Then I'll just take a look upstairs
Speaker 1: in case I've left a book or something out. No,
Speaker 1: don't trouble, I'll be back in a minute. And as
Speaker 1: noiselessly as possible, he stole to the door and opened it.
Speaker 1: The shattering of the illusion, he almost laughed out loud.
Speaker 1: The l o l nearly propped, or you might say,
Speaker 1: sitting on the edge of the bed, was nothing in
Speaker 1: the round world but a scarecrow, a scarecrow out of
Speaker 1: the garden, of course, dumped into the deserted room. Yes,
Speaker 1: but here amusements ceased? Has scarecrows bare bony feet? Do
Speaker 1: their heads lull onto their shoulders? Have they iron collars
Speaker 1: and links of chain about their necks? Can they get
Speaker 1: up and move? If never? So stiffly across the floor
Speaker 1: with wagging head and arms close at their sides, and
Speaker 1: shiver all right, bring us home. The answer to that
Speaker 1: is no, by the way, scared, No, can't do that.
Speaker 1: Be a haunted scarecrow. But still you don't want to
Speaker 1: mess with one of those either. The slam of the
Speaker 1: door the dash to the stairhead to leap downstairs were
Speaker 1: followed by a faint awaking Thompson saw Bets standing over
Speaker 1: him with the brandy bottle in a very reproachful face.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have, Dune shout, really you shouldn't. It ain't
Speaker 1: a kind of white to act by persons has done
Speaker 1: the best they could for you. Thompson heard words of
Speaker 1: this kind, but what he said in reply he did
Speaker 1: not know. Mr Betts, and perhaps even more Mrs Betts
Speaker 1: found it hard to accept his apologies and his assurances
Speaker 1: that he would say no word that could damage the
Speaker 1: good name of the house. However, they were accepted. Since
Speaker 1: the train could not now be caught, it was arranged
Speaker 1: that Thompson should be driven to the town to sleep there,
Speaker 1: which personally I find a highly sensible plan. Should have
Speaker 1: done it a week ago. That's right before he went.
Speaker 1: The bets has told him what little they knew. They
Speaker 1: say he was a landlord here a long time back
Speaker 1: and was in with the highwaymen that had their beat
Speaker 1: around the east. That's how he came by his end.
Speaker 1: Hunging chain means, they say, up where you see that
Speaker 1: stone where the gallows stood in. Yes, the fishermen made
Speaker 1: away with that, I believe because they see it out
Speaker 1: at seat and it keep the fish off according to
Speaker 1: their idea. Yes, we add the account from the people
Speaker 1: that add the house before we come. You keep that
Speaker 1: room shut up, they says. But don't move the bed
Speaker 1: out and you'll find there won't be no trouble, and
Speaker 1: no more there has been, not once. He haven't come
Speaker 1: out into the house though what he may do now,
Speaker 1: there ain't no saying. Anyway, you're the first I know
Speaker 1: on that's seen him since we've been here. I never
Speaker 1: set eyes on him myself, nor don't want. And ever
Speaker 1: since we made the servants rooms in the stapling, we
Speaker 1: ain't add no difficulty that way. Only I do hope, sir,
Speaker 1: and you'll keep a close tongue considering our house. Do
Speaker 1: get talked about with more to this effect, And mind
Speaker 1: that yelp review right, that's right, that's Funny's saying, basically
Speaker 1: pretty much, I think you should take his home, since
Speaker 1: it's your story. The promise of silence was kept for
Speaker 1: many years. The occasion of my hearing the story at
Speaker 1: last was this that when Mr Thompson came to stay
Speaker 1: with my father, it fell to me to show him
Speaker 1: to his room, and instead of letting me open the
Speaker 1: door for him, he stepped forward and threw it open himself,
Speaker 1: and then for some moments stood in the doorway, holding
Speaker 1: up his candle and looking narrowly into the interior. Then
Speaker 1: he seemed to recollect himself and said, I beg your pardon.
Speaker 1: Very absurd, but I can't out doing that for a
Speaker 1: particular reason. But that reason was I heard some days afterwards,
Speaker 1: and you have heard now, m beautiful. So this guy's
Speaker 1: scarred for life. He just can't walk into a room anymore.
Speaker 1: Like a normal person. Yeah, of course not. He's seemed
Speaker 1: like a long dead former owner of a house he
Speaker 1: was staying and who's now chained by the neck to
Speaker 1: a bed and still I guess, moving around hiding under bedspreads.
Speaker 1: And they bought it knowing this right, because they were like,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, it's not a problem, basically. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what they were saying, is that the former owners said,
Speaker 1: you know, as long as you keep the room shut
Speaker 1: and don't move the bed, you won't have any trouble
Speaker 1: from the undead former owner who was hung for being
Speaker 1: a highway robber. And for God's sakes, don't put a
Speaker 1: couple of dead bolt locks on this thing or a
Speaker 1: pad lock. Yeah, just a little tiny key that anybody
Speaker 1: can come by. I love the story stuff. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: if you liked either of these stories but you hated
Speaker 1: our accents or whatever, go read them yourself. They're both online,
Speaker 1: both our public domain. There's Beyond the Door by Philip K.
Speaker 1: Dick and Rats by M. R. James and um, both
Speaker 1: of them have a bunch of great little stories, don't
Speaker 1: they chuck. Yeah, And in fact, there are far superior
Speaker 1: readings on YouTube of these as well. Oh you want
Speaker 1: to check goes out? Yeah? Yeah, if they don't have
Speaker 1: our accents though, I'll tell you that. Nope, they're stew free. Well, everybody,
Speaker 1: Hopefully the pants have been scared back onto you so
Speaker 1: you're decent when trigger treaters come to your house. If
Speaker 1: we're even doing that this year, who knows. But regardless
Speaker 1: of how Halloween goes, have a safe and happy and
Speaker 1: super great frightful Halloween, right, Chuck, That's right, Happy Halloween. Everybody.
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