Speaker 1: My colleagues will stop commenting on everything I get. My
Speaker 1: assistant rolls eyes at people and meeting Why does my
Speaker 1: coworker keep taking credit for all my ideas? Have any
Speaker 1: wisdom for me? Hi? I'm Alison Green. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Aska Manager podcast, where I answer questions from listeners about
Speaker 1: life at work, everything from what to say if you're
Speaker 1: allergic to your coworkers perfume to what to do if
Speaker 1: you drink too much at the company party. Let's get started.
Speaker 1: My mail at the Aska Manager website is full of
Speaker 1: letters from people who are really unhappy about something their
Speaker 1: boss is asking of them, but aren't sure if they
Speaker 1: can push back, or very commonly, are pretty sure that
Speaker 1: they can't push back because they've internalized the idea that
Speaker 1: you're never supposed to say no to your boss. They're thinking,
Speaker 1: is that part of the deal when you have a
Speaker 1: job is that you're just supposed to put up with
Speaker 1: whatever is asked of you, or that if you do
Speaker 1: push back, you look like a prima donna or difficult
Speaker 1: or not a team player, or any of the other
Speaker 1: weird words that we hagged people with. But the reality is,
Speaker 1: in many cases, you absolutely can push back or say
Speaker 1: no to something that your boss is asking of you.
Speaker 1: It's just the weird power dynamics of work that are
Speaker 1: making you think that you can't, but really you can.
Speaker 1: You just have to do it judiciously, not every day,
Speaker 1: but you can do it. And on today's show, I
Speaker 1: want to talk about exactly how to do it and
Speaker 1: go through some examples of times where you might want to,
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about exactly how to do it, what
Speaker 1: to say, and what tone to use. The first thing
Speaker 1: to know about pushing back with your boss is that
Speaker 1: saying no doesn't have to be a really aggressive or
Speaker 1: hostile thing. In the vast majority of cases, it's not
Speaker 1: going to be no, I refuse to do that. It's
Speaker 1: about approaching the conversation in a collaborative way. There's a
Speaker 1: problem and you're hoping that the two of you, you
Speaker 1: and your boss can solve it together. So that means
Speaker 1: that you're going to say things like we'd originally agreed
Speaker 1: to X, and that was important to me. Is there
Speaker 1: a way that we can make that work? Or I'm
Speaker 1: concerned about why if we go that route, Or I
Speaker 1: don't have time to do why this week, but I
Speaker 1: could to X, or I have a lot of concerns
Speaker 1: about X. Could we talk about whether there might be
Speaker 1: other options? So you see, it's not just no, it's
Speaker 1: politely collaboratively conveying I'm not as on board with this
Speaker 1: as you might have hoped or expected. What can we
Speaker 1: do instead? And if your manager is a decent manager,
Speaker 1: she's going to want to hear this when you're feeling
Speaker 1: that way. She might not be delighted about it, but
Speaker 1: good managers don't want good employees to be miserable, and
Speaker 1: they want to know when they are risking that, and
Speaker 1: they want the chance to figure out if there's a
Speaker 1: different approach that both of you can live with now.
Speaker 1: To be clear, they don't want to hear that every day.
Speaker 1: And also, to be clear, the answer won't always be yes,
Speaker 1: we can change it. But when you feel strongly about something,
Speaker 1: you can, and you should speak up. Plus, sometimes you
Speaker 1: need to speak up when you disagree with something because
Speaker 1: the reason that you disagree is that you have information
Speaker 1: that your manager does not have. And this is something
Speaker 1: that I think people really frequently don't realize, Like maybe
Speaker 1: your boss is telling you to do X, and you
Speaker 1: think the client will hate X, and the reason that
Speaker 1: you think that is that you have been in meetings
Speaker 1: with the client where they have said that they would
Speaker 1: hate X, and your boss hasn't. In a case like that,
Speaker 1: you have a professional obligation to speak up and tell
Speaker 1: your boss to share the information that you have that
Speaker 1: she doesn't have, and that might change her perspective if
Speaker 1: she did another way. I see this come up all
Speaker 1: the time is about workload. So so often people who
Speaker 1: are overworked think, well, my boss must know how high
Speaker 1: my workload is. She's the one assigning me all of this,
Speaker 1: after all, and if she keeps piling things on me,
Speaker 1: she just must not care and she expects me to
Speaker 1: just somehow get it all done. When in reality, sometimes
Speaker 1: that's true. But sometimes oftentimes your boss doesn't realize how
Speaker 1: overloaded you are. She is probably not paying nearly as
Speaker 1: much attention to your workload as you are. She's counting
Speaker 1: on you to speak up if it becomes a problem,
Speaker 1: and when you don't say anything, she has no way
Speaker 1: of knowing. I can't tell you how often I've seen
Speaker 1: this dynamic play out, with the employee becoming more and
Speaker 1: more frustrated and demoralized and burned out, while the manager
Speaker 1: has no idea and would step in and fix the
Speaker 1: workload problem if she knew. Not always, of course, sometimes
Speaker 1: you get a manager who really doesn't care, but enough
Speaker 1: times your boss would want to know, and so you
Speaker 1: should speak up. And that could be anything from a
Speaker 1: big sit down conversation about your workload overall, or it
Speaker 1: can be a simple hey, to make sure that you know,
Speaker 1: it's going to take me two days to do it
Speaker 1: this way, but if we do X instead, it would
Speaker 1: just take a few hours. So not adversarial, collaborate of
Speaker 1: working together problem solving. Okay, that is the overall framework
Speaker 1: that I want you to have in your head as
Speaker 1: we talk about this, But let's go through some specific
Speaker 1: examples so that you can see what it sounds like
Speaker 1: in a variety of different situations. I dug into some
Speaker 1: past ask manager letters to find some examples of times
Speaker 1: when people did need to say no to the brass
Speaker 1: so that we would have some concrete scenarios to talk about.
Speaker 1: I once had a letter from someone who had been
Speaker 1: in their job for a while but got a new manager,
Speaker 1: and the new manager kept asking them to do things
Speaker 1: that were really not their job and where there were
Speaker 1: actually specific reasons for why it wasn't their job and
Speaker 1: someone else was supposed to be doing those things. And
Speaker 1: the person writing to me, I didn't know if the
Speaker 1: new boss was giving them these assignments just because he
Speaker 1: was new and he didn't realize what the system had been,
Speaker 1: or if he was now changing things and specifically making
Speaker 1: it this person's responsibility. And so the letter writer was
Speaker 1: trying to figure out how do I raised this without
Speaker 1: sounding like I'm just flatly refusing to do it. So
Speaker 1: in a situation like that, you could say I wanted
Speaker 1: to check with you. You have asked me to do
Speaker 1: some projects recently, like X and Y, and I was
Speaker 1: of course happy to help out in a pinch, but
Speaker 1: because it's come up a few times, I wanted to
Speaker 1: let you know that historically that type of work has
Speaker 1: been done by the X department, and the reason that
Speaker 1: people in my job aren't supposed to do it is blank.
Speaker 1: And I figured you didn't have that context yet, and
Speaker 1: so I should fill you in. So you're approaching this like, oh,
Speaker 1: here's this useful thing that you would probably appreciate, knowing
Speaker 1: you're not dancing around it or acting hesitant to say it.
Speaker 1: It's just, oh, here's this piece of info you probably
Speaker 1: don't have. And then if the boss pushes back anyway,
Speaker 1: you could say, well, of course, willing to try that
Speaker 1: out if you want to change that, but I want
Speaker 1: to make sure you know it would be a pretty
Speaker 1: significant change to my role, which would concern me because
Speaker 1: of blank. Before we make the change, could I tell
Speaker 1: you a bit more about why we ended up divided
Speaker 1: things this way. But let's change the situation a little bit.
Speaker 1: Let's say that your boss is asking you to do
Speaker 1: something that you really don't want to take on. If
Speaker 1: you are a good employee who is generally helpful and accommodating,
Speaker 1: there is room for you to speak up. Now. If
Speaker 1: you are not a good employee, or if you have
Speaker 1: a track record of pushing back on everything, then no.
Speaker 1: But let's assume that you're in good standing. And let's
Speaker 1: say that the thing your boss is asking you to
Speaker 1: do is let's say heavy travel, and you don't want
Speaker 1: to do heavy travel. And maybe you even took the
Speaker 1: job in part because it didn't involve heavy travel. So
Speaker 1: you could say, you've been asking me lately to do
Speaker 1: more traveling, and I get why it would be useful
Speaker 1: to have another person on the team who can travel.
Speaker 1: But I want to be honest, I really dislike every
Speaker 1: traveling and I actually changed into this field to get
Speaker 1: away from doing it. I hadn't realized it would become
Speaker 1: part of my role here. Is it something that you're
Speaker 1: committed to having the person in my job do or
Speaker 1: is there any flexibility? So, in other words, just be straightforward.
Speaker 1: You're not going at it like like you're the opposition
Speaker 1: to your boss. You're not the adversary. And you're also
Speaker 1: not dancing around it and hoping they'll pick up on hints.
Speaker 1: You're just laying it out. The key to talking about
Speaker 1: this without being insupportinate is that you're not saying that
Speaker 1: you won't do it. You're just giving your boss relevant
Speaker 1: context that they might not have, some of which might
Speaker 1: be that it would significantly change your job satisfaction, which
Speaker 1: is something that any good manager will want the chance
Speaker 1: to at least factor into their thinking, even if they
Speaker 1: ultimately decide to make that change anyway. So, again, more language.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I took the role in part because
Speaker 1: it didn't involve acts or to be upfront, it's not
Speaker 1: a change I would be thrilled about because of blank
Speaker 1: or so forth. Of course, whether and when to do
Speaker 1: this depends on things like how reasonable or unreasonable the
Speaker 1: request being made of you, is how much your employer
Speaker 1: values you and how much good will you've built up,
Speaker 1: and you do need to do it judiciously. If you're
Speaker 1: pushing back on every request, you're going to pretty quickly
Speaker 1: run through the political capital that you need. And of course,
Speaker 1: ultimately your manager does have the ability to say, sorry,
Speaker 1: this is the job, now take it or leave it.
Speaker 1: If that happens, you need to decide if you're willing
Speaker 1: to stay in the job knowing that these are the
Speaker 1: conditions you would need to accept. But much more often
Speaker 1: than people realize, there will be room to push back
Speaker 1: or renegotiate. Let's go to an ad break here, and
Speaker 1: then when we come back, I'm going to have lots
Speaker 1: more examples of times when you might need to say
Speaker 1: no to your boss and how to do it. So
Speaker 1: let's say that you're in a situation where you're being
Speaker 1: asked to take on something that you just don't have
Speaker 1: time to fit in with the rest of your workload.
Speaker 1: A decent manager is going to want to hear that
Speaker 1: you're concerned about it, so you should speak up. It's
Speaker 1: possible that when you talk it through, you'll find that
Speaker 1: the deadline is not as firm as it originally seemed,
Speaker 1: or that your boss is more open to pushing it
Speaker 1: back once she hears that it's causing problems. You might
Speaker 1: find out that it's fine to use shortcuts that you
Speaker 1: had assumed wouldn't be okay, or that it's really just
Speaker 1: one particular piece of the project that has to be
Speaker 1: ready on time. Who knows, maybe none of that would
Speaker 1: be true, but it's worth having the conversation. The best
Speaker 1: way to approach it is to explain what you can
Speaker 1: do and offer some options for how to proceed. So,
Speaker 1: to give you an example, you could say, I can
Speaker 1: have an outline and most of a draft ready to
Speaker 1: go by Thursday. I probably wouldn't have it completely polished
Speaker 1: until Monday. Would that work? Or so to get this
Speaker 1: done by Thursday, I would need to push pretty much
Speaker 1: everything else back, which means that I wouldn't finish up
Speaker 1: X and Y until next week. Would that be okay?
Speaker 1: A lot of times that's going to solve the problem.
Speaker 1: Sometimes managers give deadlines that sound reasonable to them, but
Speaker 1: they're very open to modifying them. When you explain what's
Speaker 1: needed and why. But what if your manager tells you know,
Speaker 1: you need to stick to the original deadline with no
Speaker 1: modifications and you can't push any of the other work
Speaker 1: back if you really don't believe that you can meet
Speaker 1: that deadline. Sometimes it can make sense to say something
Speaker 1: like I hear you and how important it is to
Speaker 1: get it done by that, and I'm going to do
Speaker 1: everything that I can to make it happen. But I
Speaker 1: want to be transparent with you that I am concerned
Speaker 1: that factors X and why. I mean, I think it's
Speaker 1: going to take longer. Let me really push on it
Speaker 1: over the next day, and then update you once we
Speaker 1: see where we are. So with that kind of language,
Speaker 1: you're showing that you get it, you're taking it seriously,
Speaker 1: but that you also don't want to promise something misleading,
Speaker 1: and you're going to see what you can do and
Speaker 1: come back and update her when you have a better
Speaker 1: idea of that. Okay, let's get into some more specific examples.
Speaker 1: Let's do one. This is the one that I hear
Speaker 1: from people about a lot which is being expected to
Speaker 1: you is your own personal cell phone for work. Some
Speaker 1: people are fine with this because they don't want to
Speaker 1: have to carry a work phone and a personal phone.
Speaker 1: But there are a lot of good reasons not to
Speaker 1: agree to use your personal phone at work, especially because
Speaker 1: some companies will have you installed an app which will
Speaker 1: allow them to remotely wipe your phone when you quit
Speaker 1: or your you terminate your employment for any reason, and
Speaker 1: that is not them just remote wiping their data. It
Speaker 1: can mean wiping all of your data from your phone.
Speaker 1: So if you are using your personal cell phone at work,
Speaker 1: make sure that you read what you're agreeing to. And
Speaker 1: if you're not sure about the remote wipe, ask your
Speaker 1: I T people. Anyway, if your employer suggests that you
Speaker 1: do this, that you use your personal phone as your
Speaker 1: main work phone, and you don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: you can just be very matter of fact, Oh, I'd
Speaker 1: rather not use my own phone. Can I use a
Speaker 1: company provided one instead? And if that doesn't work, then
Speaker 1: you know I'm not comfortable with the stipulations that are
Speaker 1: attached to this, like the remote wipe. What do I
Speaker 1: need to do to get a company phone instead? Okay,
Speaker 1: how about a situation where you're being asked to do
Speaker 1: something unreasonable. Let's say that you're being asked to work
Speaker 1: around the clock day after day. Sometimes you can just
Speaker 1: use a very simple statement that you just aren't going
Speaker 1: to do something the exact way that it has been requested.
Speaker 1: So you might say, well, i can't work twelve hour
Speaker 1: days every day this week, but I'll be able to
Speaker 1: do A B and C this week, not D an E.
Speaker 1: Let me know if you want me to prioritize those differently.
Speaker 1: So just matter of fact with that one and see
Speaker 1: what happens. Or how about a situation where your boss
Speaker 1: is asking you to do personal favors for her, things
Speaker 1: that really aren't your job or anyone's job, like running
Speaker 1: personal errands or even leaning her clothes. I say that
Speaker 1: because I've actually had a fair number of letters over
Speaker 1: the years about varieties of the situation. I once had
Speaker 1: someone whose boss was asking her to write his papers
Speaker 1: for a class that he was taking on his own
Speaker 1: time him and I had a letter from someone whose
Speaker 1: boss would ask her employees to do really personal favors
Speaker 1: like driving her to the dentist or borrowing her shoes.
Speaker 1: That shoes is a real example stuff that you might
Speaker 1: ask a close friend, but which definitely isn't appropriate for
Speaker 1: a manager to ask employees. So with something like that,
Speaker 1: where someone is so oblivious to boundaries, sometimes the best
Speaker 1: thing to do is to just always have reasons why
Speaker 1: you're not available for the thing, like oh sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: just about to get on a conference call, or no, sorry,
Speaker 1: I've got plans at lunch so I can't drive you.
Speaker 1: But you can also address it more big picture, if
Speaker 1: you're up for that. You could say something like, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you realize that you often ask
Speaker 1: us for pretty personal favors like borrowing clothes or driving
Speaker 1: you places, and because you're the boss, there's pressure to
Speaker 1: say yes. That wouldn't be there if you weren't the boss,
Speaker 1: And that's a tough situation to be in, especially when
Speaker 1: it would conflict with something work related. I figure you
Speaker 1: didn't realize how often it was happening, so I wanted
Speaker 1: to mention it to you. It can be a tough
Speaker 1: one to pull off. You won't always be comfortable doing it,
Speaker 1: depending on the dynamic with your boss, but some relationships
Speaker 1: are going to allow for it. Or with that boss
Speaker 1: who wanted the employee to write a paper for his class,
Speaker 1: you could say, hmm, I don't really feel right doing
Speaker 1: work for a class outside of the office, especially when
Speaker 1: I've got my hands full with X and have X
Speaker 1: be a work related project. If your boss then offers
Speaker 1: to relieve you of ex so that you have more
Speaker 1: time for his paper, you could say, Oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I really don't feel right about doing that. Let's do
Speaker 1: another weird one. I had a letter a while back
Speaker 1: from someone who worked remotely but had to travel to
Speaker 1: the company headquarters once a month, and the company was
Speaker 1: trying to reduce expenses, and so instead of putting her
Speaker 1: up in a hotel while she was there, they were
Speaker 1: having her sleep in the office on an air mattress.
Speaker 1: And she felt awkward about it for all of the
Speaker 1: obvious reasons, but that's not even why she was writing it.
Speaker 1: And she wrote in because for her upcoming trips, someone
Speaker 1: else was going to be staying in the office, and
Speaker 1: so they were going to have her stay at the
Speaker 1: CEO's apartment. Well, he stayed in some other property that
Speaker 1: he owned. And this wasn't even the first time they
Speaker 1: had had her do this. They had made her do
Speaker 1: it one time before, and he would come by in
Speaker 1: the morning each day she was there to get ready
Speaker 1: for work. So super uncomfortable, not something that you should
Speaker 1: expect when you're traveling through business. So let's say that
Speaker 1: you're in that bizarre situation. Sometimes it's almost harder to
Speaker 1: figure out how to say no in a situation like
Speaker 1: this because it's so weird, and the fact that they're
Speaker 1: asking you to do it like it's no big deal
Speaker 1: tells you that they aren't playing by the same rule
Speaker 1: book as the rest of us, which can make it
Speaker 1: harder to know how to approach it. But you can
Speaker 1: be pretty straightforward and assertive. So in this situation, you'd say,
Speaker 1: you know, I understand that we're trying to save money,
Speaker 1: but I am not well rested when I sleep in
Speaker 1: the office, so I'd like to start booking an economy
Speaker 1: price hotel instead. And when they proposed the CEOs apartment thing,
Speaker 1: you could say, you know, actually, I would prefer not
Speaker 1: to stay in his house because last time he kept
Speaker 1: needing to come by to pick up his things and
Speaker 1: get ready, which wasn't really conducive to having a comfortable
Speaker 1: private place to stay. So I want to book an
Speaker 1: economy hotel instead, and I'll keep the price as low
Speaker 1: as I can. So just politely assertive, you know, this
Speaker 1: won't work for me, but I hear your concerns. Let's
Speaker 1: do this other thing instead. We'll do a final break here,
Speaker 1: and then when we come back. I want to talk
Speaker 1: about a really big important category of times when you
Speaker 1: might need to push back, and that is when your
Speaker 1: employer is doing something that's illegal. Stay tuned. I get
Speaker 1: a ton of letters from people who are wondering if
Speaker 1: that's something their workplace is doing that is likely illegal.
Speaker 1: They're often wondering what their next move should be. And
Speaker 1: because most people don't know what to do if their
Speaker 1: employer is violating their legal rights at work, they often
Speaker 1: either threaten legal action too quickly or they know what
Speaker 1: speak up at all because they're not sure what to say.
Speaker 1: So first, before anything else, you want to make sure
Speaker 1: that your employer really is breaking the law. People sometimes
Speaker 1: assume that the law entitles them to things that aren't
Speaker 1: actually enshrined in law, particularly in the US, like fair
Speaker 1: treatment or paid vacation days, or a warning before being fired.
Speaker 1: So first make sure that you really are facing a
Speaker 1: legal violation. If you are, sometimes people think the first
Speaker 1: step must be to talk to a lawyer and file
Speaker 1: a lawsuit, but much of the time that won't be necessary.
Speaker 1: It might be, but jumping straight there can really poison
Speaker 1: your work environment when you don't need to. To To be clear, it's,
Speaker 1: of course you're prerogative to talk to a lawyer and
Speaker 1: persue legal action at any point if you want to,
Speaker 1: but often you can get what you want in a
Speaker 1: more low key way. Often the first step is to
Speaker 1: just talk to your employer, because a lot of the
Speaker 1: time they genuinely don't know that what they're doing is illegal,
Speaker 1: which I know sounds ridiculous, but it's often true, especially
Speaker 1: with smaller employers, and often they will back down when
Speaker 1: you point out the law to them. That even if
Speaker 1: you don't think that's the situation, you know, even if
Speaker 1: you're pretty sure that they are well aware of the
Speaker 1: law and they just don't care about following it, it
Speaker 1: can still be helpful to approach the conversation as if
Speaker 1: you're assuming that they don't know and you're just helpfully
Speaker 1: bringing it to their attention, and that you're assuming that
Speaker 1: of course they would want to know if they are
Speaker 1: breaking the law. Approaching it that way will usually get
Speaker 1: you a better outcome. Then, if you go in making
Speaker 1: it clear that you think your managers are flagrant lawbreakers
Speaker 1: right from the start. And when I say better outcome,
Speaker 1: that means not only the legal problem stops, but also
Speaker 1: that you preserve reasonably good relations with your employer. You
Speaker 1: won't always be able to do that, but when you can,
Speaker 1: it's usually in your best interests too. And I want
Speaker 1: to be really clear, I'm not suggesting that you tolerate
Speaker 1: illegal behavior in order to maintain good relationships. I'm saying
Speaker 1: that you can often get both things, the illegal behavior
Speaker 1: stopped and preserving the relationship. Not always, but enough of
Speaker 1: the time that it usually makes sense to try, and
Speaker 1: then if that doesn't work, you can escalate if it's needed.
Speaker 1: So let's take a really common example. In the US,
Speaker 1: all jobs are classified as either exempt from overtime or
Speaker 1: non exempt from overtime. If you are classified as non exempt,
Speaker 1: meaning that you are supposed to be paid overtime, and
Speaker 1: that is not up to your employer, it's based on
Speaker 1: the type of work that you do, then you have
Speaker 1: to receive overtime pay when you work more than forty
Speaker 1: hours in a week. But a ton of people who
Speaker 1: should be getting overtime paid don't. Let's say that that's you,
Speaker 1: and that your company expects you to work overtime without
Speaker 1: extra pay. You could say something like, you know, we're
Speaker 1: actually required by federal law to pay over time to
Speaker 1: people in my job category. I can definitely work the
Speaker 1: overtime if you want me to, but the company is
Speaker 1: required to pay for it, and I wanted to make
Speaker 1: sure you knew that so that we don't get in trouble.
Speaker 1: Or let's say that you are religious and your boss
Speaker 1: is requiring you to work on a religious holiday when
Speaker 1: plenty of non religious employees would be available to cover
Speaker 1: that shift. You could say, Oh, that is actually a
Speaker 1: religious holiday for me, and because I know we're required
Speaker 1: by federal law to accommodate religious practices, could we schedule
Speaker 1: someone else for that day instead of me. Now, note
Speaker 1: that the tone here is collaborative. It's not adversarial, and
Speaker 1: that is important. Instead of saying you are breaking the law,
Speaker 1: you're saying we could get in trouble for this, and
Speaker 1: that is because you're The tone you want is that
Speaker 1: you're looking out for the company's interests. You're not making
Speaker 1: a legal threat. It's the same tone that you would
Speaker 1: use if you were advising your boss on some legal problem.
Speaker 1: Totally unconnected to you. There's no overt threat of legal action.
Speaker 1: It's just, oh, we could get in trouble for this.
Speaker 1: The reason for doing it that way is that your
Speaker 1: goal here is not just to a certain legal rights,
Speaker 1: although that is part of it, but also to keep
Speaker 1: a good relationship. And it is far less likely to
Speaker 1: happen if you wield the law like a weapon, because
Speaker 1: fair or not, the reality is that few relationships are
Speaker 1: unaffected when you start making legal threats. You still have
Speaker 1: the option of taking legal action if you need to,
Speaker 1: but you're more likely to get a good outcome by
Speaker 1: starting out this way. This actually came up on the
Speaker 1: Aska Manager website recently. Someone asked about the right tone
Speaker 1: to use when you're saying this kind of thing, and
Speaker 1: a commenter said something that I thought was perfect. They said,
Speaker 1: I think in situations like this, it helps to imagine
Speaker 1: a situation where you would genuinely have the emotion that
Speaker 1: you want to convey and then mimic that tone. Like
Speaker 1: if I were in a parking garage with my friend
Speaker 1: who wasn't allowed to park there and they to leave
Speaker 1: the car in an illegal spot. My Oh, I'm worried
Speaker 1: we could get in trouble would be very sincere. And
Speaker 1: that's exactly right. That's the tone. It says, I'm looking
Speaker 1: out for everyone here, not I'm going to take you
Speaker 1: to court. At least that's where you start. You might
Speaker 1: need descalate, but you start there. Now, what if you
Speaker 1: talk to your employer and you point out the law
Speaker 1: but nothing changes. At that point, you have a decision
Speaker 1: to make about how far you want to push the issue.
Speaker 1: One thing that you can do to explore your options
Speaker 1: at that point is to just talk with a lawyer,
Speaker 1: and that doesn't bind you to taking legal action. It's
Speaker 1: just getting more information. And sometimes a lawyer can do
Speaker 1: things that aren't bringing a lawsuit but still get the
Speaker 1: problem solved, Like they can advise you to present things
Speaker 1: in a certain way, or they can write a letter
Speaker 1: in your behalf or so forth, and they can talk
Speaker 1: through the options with you and the upsides and downsides
Speaker 1: of each. But in most cases it makes sense for
Speaker 1: your first step to just be that straightforward conversation and
Speaker 1: that might be all you need. Okay, those were a
Speaker 1: lot of examples, and hopefully it helped to hear them
Speaker 1: out loud. And if you have found this kind of
Speaker 1: sample language esful. You might really like the Aska Manager
Speaker 1: Book because it is filled with sample language for all
Speaker 1: sorts of situations at work, including things like pushing back
Speaker 1: with your boss. If you want to check it out,
Speaker 1: it's called Ask a Manager, How to Navigate Clueless Colleagues,
Speaker 1: lunch stealing bosses, and the rest of your life at work,
Speaker 1: and you can order it on Amazon or anywhere books
Speaker 1: are sold. Before we wrap up, I have an announcement
Speaker 1: about the show. Next week's episode is going to be
Speaker 1: the final episode. I really loved doing the show, but
Speaker 1: I also need to make room for other things, other
Speaker 1: work and things like seeing my husband occasionally and sweeping.
Speaker 1: So I'm taking my own advice that I give to
Speaker 1: people who are overworked, and I'm cutting some things back.
Speaker 1: I'll talk a bit more about the decision on next
Speaker 1: week's episode, which will also feature a bunch of Q
Speaker 1: and A with callers as well. Okay, that is it
Speaker 1: for today, Thanks for listening, and I'll be back one
Speaker 1: more time next week and