Speaker 1: Cleverty, my peace, what did you think of that horrendous play?
Speaker 2: Oh, my dear lord, Earl of Sandwich. I must tell
Speaker 2: you that Shakespeare he is long in the tooth occasionally,
Speaker 2: But my goodness, for this one Romeo and Juliet dastardly, dastardly.
Speaker 1: I mean, if it wasn't for that fine Jane Bartholemew
Speaker 1: who's playing Juliet, who has the finest buzzard the side
Speaker 1: of London.
Speaker 2: I do agree Jane is well carriaged, but the acting
Speaker 2: it needs several more years.
Speaker 1: Oh lord, look at those semens starving. I would give
Speaker 1: them fivepence, but I have to spend it on air,
Speaker 1: and I gave my wife, the bitch, the rest of
Speaker 1: my money. You know I need an ale.
Speaker 2: I'm quite thirsty. Misself piece looks, Oh there she is.
Speaker 1: Her bosom is even better off stage, so plumped, so rosy,
Speaker 1: so milky darth.
Speaker 2: How it remind me of a winter pheasant gussied up
Speaker 2: and inflate it.
Speaker 1: H miss, oh mock lady of the theater. Would you
Speaker 1: care to join me and my dear dear fellow peeps
Speaker 1: into our coach. We are going for an ale? Well,
Speaker 1: I suppose the girl just.
Speaker 2: Get quite famished from being on stage all night. Dear,
Speaker 2: good old of Sandwich.
Speaker 1: So it's an evening, then come with us.
Speaker 2: Oh, I suppose I'm to be sandwiched between the Earl
Speaker 2: and his vassal.
Speaker 1: Ah, here's a coach when we are going to the
Speaker 1: White Stylow Tavern down codswell Way.
Speaker 2: Tell you, sir, everybody in close the door. Oh this
Speaker 2: birth On that performance was quite wresting.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: I learned to read old Body a year ago, and
Speaker 3: I've been studying the Royal Shakespeare Theater and father told
Speaker 3: me I would be a street urch and no, I said,
Speaker 3: I'm an actress. I'm a lady of the theater.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, well, very respectful.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 2: Would you like to see my new pocket watch, my
Speaker 2: good lady.
Speaker 1: Oh, I've never seen a pocket watch before.
Speaker 2: Now look at this and see the hands how they
Speaker 2: move around? You know?
Speaker 1: Actually, Lady birth On On, you I actually have an
Speaker 1: even older pocket watch if you would like to see. Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't reach into my leggings. Would you mind getting
Speaker 1: it out for me? Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh, dear, that's not.
Speaker 1: A pocket watch you're feeling. Oh my goodness, the clock
Speaker 1: is Striking twelve.
Speaker 2: How it ticks?
Speaker 1: How it ticks me? Lord?
Speaker 2: Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends.
Speaker 2: You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and you've got books
Speaker 2: and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books,
Speaker 2: it's gossip. I'm sure it's memoir. It's Martinis.
Speaker 1: Celebrity Poop Club. Read it while it's hot.
Speaker 2: Celebrity poop Club. Tell your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books.
Speaker 1: No boys are a loud cleto say it loud and
Speaker 1: cloud Celebrity book Club. Buzz me in, I brought the
Speaker 1: queer voe Hellllo best friend, How darphin go merrily, merrily merrily?
Speaker 1: It goes quite well for me. How does it go
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 3: Um?
Speaker 2: Well, I've and better. I have seven boils on me face.
Speaker 1: I can tell that doesn't look good. Have you tried beef?
Speaker 2: Come?
Speaker 1: Hey? Really good to see you, really good to see you.
Speaker 1: Just sorry to all. It's about to get pretty like
Speaker 1: ce List and like this episode, like.
Speaker 2: Se is generous about to deal theater, girl up in here.
Speaker 1: Big sweatshirts. This is hades Town, like Laptop stan Ley's Yeah,
Speaker 1: no before like getting into the book, let's just here
Speaker 1: we are to I heard office.
Speaker 2: I just walked by a guy's desk and he had
Speaker 2: like a massive bottle of no sugar hazelnut syrup on
Speaker 2: the desk.
Speaker 1: Like coffee mate or syrup.
Speaker 2: Like straight up syrup that like Starbucks would have like
Speaker 2: in the back. Oh my, that I think he's just
Speaker 2: like pouring into his coffee throughout the day. Well, like
Speaker 2: to do constant even more.
Speaker 1: Because then you're watching yourself use it throughout.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this year's supply of hazelnut syrup looks like the
Speaker 2: bottle is about half spent.
Speaker 1: Also speaking of indulgent man.
Speaker 2: You guys, we took a journey this week, wild, an
Speaker 2: absolutely wild journey. I am so glad we read this book.
Speaker 1: As we said to each other, I actually do wish
Speaker 1: like I had more time with it.
Speaker 2: I mean I could keep reading this book for like
Speaker 2: another month and like go back and like do it
Speaker 2: over again and get even more because like.
Speaker 1: And like a fine difference. There's so much.
Speaker 2: Every age is so rich.
Speaker 1: So full, so rich of history. It's been called one
Speaker 1: of the best bedside books I think ever written. Oh
Speaker 1: it's so bad side because you just pick it up
Speaker 1: and you're like, here we go and you read an entry.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, who can we.
Speaker 2: Be talking about one of the most famous diary of
Speaker 2: all time, right up there with.
Speaker 1: And Frank Elizabeth Gilbert.
Speaker 2: And honestly way more interesting than a Frank Frankly and
Speaker 2: you know, much like our last book we read gd
Speaker 2: it's famous for writing book, which is cool. Although you
Speaker 2: are he may know him from his work as an
Speaker 2: admitry in the Royal Navy in London throughout the sixteen
Speaker 2: sixties and later a member of Parliament from Harwell, Yes.
Speaker 1: Queen, you may know him from basically being the voice
Speaker 1: of the Stuart cabinet and the monarchy coming back into play.
Speaker 2: That's right, we're talking now about none of the the
Speaker 2: baddest of the Stuart Restoration.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the horniest naval administer.
Speaker 2: I know from seventeenth century England. None O. There, that's
Speaker 2: Samuel Peeps and his book, The Diary of Samuel Peace.
Speaker 2: Let's get right into it. So he's kind of like
Speaker 2: the upper middle class guy who's like a bureaucrat who
Speaker 2: like lives at the house of his lord and it
Speaker 2: is still being kind of feudal seventeenth century England is
Speaker 2: a time of great tumult. In sixteen forty eight, Charles
Speaker 2: the First is deposed the Interperior call the Interregnum where
Speaker 2: Oliver Cromwell Harram becomes the leader of England. They call
Speaker 2: it the Protectorate, and they're like we're going to be
Speaker 2: a republic, like we're done with the monarchy. But you know,
Speaker 2: it's short lived, like many revolutions, it's sort of undone.
Speaker 2: And in sixteen sixty, after Oliver Cromwell dies, things are
Speaker 2: in kind of disarray and Charles the Second, who's Charles
Speaker 2: the first son, who's been in exile in the Netherlands,
Speaker 2: comes back, and basically that's right when Samuel Peep starts
Speaker 2: this diary. He just happens started this darty in sixteen
Speaker 2: sixty and so he keeps this diary for this decade
Speaker 2: that is like insanely pivotal in British history, like start
Speaker 2: of the Stuart Restoration, Great Fire of London, great Plague,
Speaker 2: great Play, you know, the Dutch War. And then he's
Speaker 2: also like this secretary who's high in the navy, and
Speaker 2: so he's kind of like organizing the war.
Speaker 1: He's doing so much like war admin and like sending
Speaker 1: seamen their money and like also going on ships.
Speaker 2: And what's cool is that he's like this middle class
Speaker 2: kind of bureaucrack guy, but he is like, you know,
Speaker 2: amongst the elite, and so he like knows the king
Speaker 2: and he's like always that means the people, and like
Speaker 2: he's seen all of this high society gossip.
Speaker 1: Kind of like the Tina Brown. He's literally the Tina
Speaker 1: but also literally is gossip girl.
Speaker 2: But he's also like Forrest Gump, where it's just like
Speaker 2: you're just at every like major event.
Speaker 1: History, NASA man on the moon.
Speaker 2: Right, and you're seeing it all happen, but then being like,
Speaker 2: but I also wanted to fuck my wife's maid, like
Speaker 2: while it's going down.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about we read the modern.
Speaker 2: Edition, yeah, and I will say, are you aware that
Speaker 2: this book is a little ubraged, Yeah, which is that
Speaker 2: we were literally the sex scenes are like dot dot dotted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm so little like it's very unaware of
Speaker 1: the sex scenes because I started watching this very like
Speaker 1: on Roku TV BBC like movie about him, and it
Speaker 1: starts off with him like fucking a woman while he's
Speaker 1: in jail through the bars.
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: That's exactly, That's what I'm saying. So I was already
Speaker 1: like I've been in this book, and he is really
Speaker 1: horny and we're obviously going to get into that, but
Speaker 1: like he is never like saying like we.
Speaker 2: Fucked, okay, talking about the sex thing for one second.
Speaker 2: So this is when he's having an affair with Deb,
Speaker 2: his wife's maid.
Speaker 1: He's which all it was kind of customary.
Speaker 2: Then yeah, and this is when he gets caught on
Speaker 2: October twenty fifth, sixteen sixty eight. So home, into dinner,
Speaker 2: and after dinner all the afternoon, got my wife and
Speaker 2: boy to read to me. When he says boy, he
Speaker 2: means his like male servant. And at night w Battilia
Speaker 2: comes and SUPs with us, and after supper to have
Speaker 2: my head combed by Deb. So Deb is the maid
Speaker 2: and she's just like combing his hair after he takes
Speaker 2: his wig off, which occasions the greatest sorrow to me
Speaker 2: that I ever knew in this world for my wife
Speaker 2: coming up suddenly did find me embrace seen the girl
Speaker 2: dot dot dot. I was at a wonderful loss upon it,
Speaker 2: and the girly also, so I looked it up. The
Speaker 2: actual passage is and then like not like for like
Speaker 2: ninth greater version, it was she did find me embracing
Speaker 2: the girl with my main hand in her honey, stop, yeah,
Speaker 2: see you?
Speaker 1: And why honey? Yeah, I think it's fingers. I think
Speaker 1: it's like four fingers.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say three, but you might be right
Speaker 2: on the four. Also, hands are smaller.
Speaker 1: Get out of my history books. Can you also imagine
Speaker 1: like how dirty his hands must have been. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess everything was better than everything was dirty, but
Speaker 1: it was so like his hands were probably like steeped
Speaker 1: in beef towel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and everything's covered in soot, and there's just like
Speaker 2: fires everywhere and coal everywhere and like everything and just
Speaker 2: like fish and you're just eating sardines with your hands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's been like, oh my poor deb did
Speaker 1: come down with sickness. Okay, I am like now pissed
Speaker 1: because almost every entry is like I laid in bed
Speaker 1: with my wife, or he's like being horny for someone else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're like it's a lot. But he then
Speaker 2: he talks a lot about kissing girls, and you're like,
Speaker 2: just to kiss just a kid, and half the time
Speaker 2: kissing is like so then I kissed his wife and
Speaker 2: you're like, hah, so you're just kiss her on the cheek,
Speaker 2: but then till me He's like, and I did see
Speaker 2: a woman in the stairwell next to the King's quarters,
Speaker 2: and I did go ahead and kiss her, thinking that
Speaker 2: she was a woman of pleasure, and she did kiss me,
Speaker 2: but we did only but kissing, and for that I
Speaker 2: did feel guilty. And he stole back.
Speaker 1: Office and he'll be like, if another man is there,
Speaker 1: and if like the Lord of Sandwich is then he's
Speaker 1: like and we all kissed merrily, and they're being so
Speaker 1: Cortison hands doing square dances or whatever and like being
Speaker 1: so dances. But then he'll be like, I walk down
Speaker 1: a path, I saw a very attractive woman and I
Speaker 1: walked back and he's being so like kind of like
Speaker 1: shy and being so like her bosom was fun.
Speaker 2: It's crazy because it's like, so they're like doing straight cruising,
Speaker 2: like straight cold heterosexual cruising culture is alive and well
Speaker 2: in sixteen sixties London.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's always like getting like dressed.
Speaker 2: He's always getting dressed and like also like.
Speaker 1: This this book is half of it is him just
Speaker 1: being like, Okay, my wife says that lace collars drawn
Speaker 1: to the back that are silk or in fashion.
Speaker 2: So I need to go get her a lace collar
Speaker 2: and I'm so pissed, and then drop fifty shillings at
Speaker 2: the exchange. And he's always going to the exchange and
Speaker 2: be like, ugh, drop more shillines and fucking gloves. But
Speaker 2: then he's always been like, wait, I just got these
Speaker 2: new pants and they're so fast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. It's like as he's in town, he's like, wait,
Speaker 1: I got these stunning gloves.
Speaker 2: I also love. It's insane to think about. He's always
Speaker 2: talking about going to the office. No, I know what
Speaker 2: it's like going to the office.
Speaker 1: He's like ex executive, but it is this like fab
Speaker 1: girl boss kind of way. Yeah, he's like has all
Speaker 1: of his maids like dresses with but then they're dressing camp.
Speaker 1: But he usually has a drink before the office.
Speaker 2: Oh well, he has his morning draft.
Speaker 1: Jarnie draft, which I guess I learned is because like
Speaker 1: they couldn't really drink the water so that they would
Speaker 1: all have kind of like light ales. Yes in the morning, right, nobody.
Speaker 2: It's so girl busy because then it's like after the office,
Speaker 2: then you do a full pub crawl. It's like he's
Speaker 2: not so besotted by the affairs of the state. He's
Speaker 2: still just like I'm making time for just like conversation
Speaker 2: and friends like this is literally like one day after
Speaker 2: work at noon Harry Ethel came to me and went
Speaker 2: along with mister myloord by coach as far as Hasbury Court,
Speaker 2: and then we sat him down and went to the clerks,
Speaker 2: where we came a little too late, but in a closet.
Speaker 2: We had a very good dinner by mister Pinky's courtesy,
Speaker 2: and after the night we had a pretty good singing
Speaker 2: and one has it sung alone after the old fashion,
Speaker 2: which was very much cried up, but I did not
Speaker 2: like it. Thence we went to the Green Dragon on
Speaker 2: Lambeth Hill, both the mister Pinky Smith Harrison Morris that
Speaker 2: sang the bass, Shepley and I and now we're saying
Speaker 2: all sorts of things, and I eventually with good success
Speaker 2: upon things at first sight. And after that I played
Speaker 2: on my flagiola and stayed there till nine o'clock. After that,
Speaker 2: Shepley Harris said, and myself we went to Westminster on
Speaker 2: foot and at the Golden Lion near charring Cross, we
Speaker 2: went in and drank a pint of wine. It's like
Speaker 2: you're going to one tavern, you're having dinner in a closet,
Speaker 2: more ale, next tavern, next another wench more Ale, and.
Speaker 1: It also shocks me more. I'm like, damn, like carriages
Speaker 1: really are speeding up here because I'm like, you're actually
Speaker 1: hitting up a lot of places. I feel like early
Speaker 1: American history, they're always being like, oh, it took me
Speaker 1: two days to get to the tavern home, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, London, it's a city, it's closer, but like
Speaker 1: he's always like going by boat to like another bar
Speaker 1: and then like hopping in a carriage to like another
Speaker 1: lord's house. Then they're catching a play, then he's back home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think that's the difference between like
Speaker 2: more like village frontier suburban life versus like the central
Speaker 2: core of London.
Speaker 1: Like American suburbria started and like and he's being like
Speaker 1: core city.
Speaker 2: Like yeah no, it took like Paul Revere a long
Speaker 2: time to ride to Lexington on a horse, but he's.
Speaker 1: Like literally downtown.
Speaker 2: He's like in downtown London and he's taking like a
Speaker 2: boat like four blocks and.
Speaker 1: Then it's like lock boat, which we need to bring back.
Speaker 2: I know, and then he's walking three blocks around their
Speaker 2: house and then like walking back across the bridge. It's
Speaker 2: kind of like it's all pretty es central.
Speaker 1: So let's get into his relationship with his wife. She's French,
Speaker 1: and they have like kind of like the most just
Speaker 1: like to this day, like modern but like accurate display
Speaker 1: of a relationship, like.
Speaker 2: It's the most normal relationship ever. It's actually kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: Like here's this passage. This is by the way, right
Speaker 1: before his brother dies. So to the change, and then's
Speaker 1: home where my wife and I fell out about my
Speaker 1: not being willing to have her gown laced, but we
Speaker 1: lay out the same money and more in a plain
Speaker 1: new one. At this she flounced away in a manner
Speaker 1: I never saw her, noah, which I could ever endure.
Speaker 1: So I away to the office, though she had dressed
Speaker 1: herself to go see my lady sandwich.
Speaker 2: She's so she buy.
Speaker 1: And buy, Yeah, she buy and buying. A rage follows
Speaker 1: me and coming to me tells me in a spiteful
Speaker 1: manner that like a vixen, and with a look full
Speaker 1: of rancor, that she would go and buy a new
Speaker 1: one and lace it and make me pay for it
Speaker 1: and then let me burn it if I would after
Speaker 1: she had done it. So she went away in a fury,
Speaker 1: and it's so classic fight where she's mad. But then
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm mad because you're actually so mad. The
Speaker 1: way you're mad about this gown is toxic. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: now I'm mad about that.
Speaker 2: It's like the fact that you flounced like that is
Speaker 2: actually so toxic. And she's like, it's actually insane that
Speaker 2: you would rather buy your new dress then pay for
Speaker 2: me to get this dress laced, and he's just being like,
Speaker 2: lacing is like a waste of funny.
Speaker 1: It's also crazy. She actually like, this whole needs so
Speaker 1: much money because you need to pay every time to
Speaker 1: get your gown lace, which makes sense. It takes hours.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the amount of like up keep goes
Speaker 2: into clothing. And it's interesting when you think about fast
Speaker 2: fashion and the czars of today.
Speaker 1: Instead of buying another shirt on sheen right, get a
Speaker 1: gown laced, pay a local woman to lace your gown.
Speaker 2: I do think that there's a happy medium, because it
Speaker 2: does seem to me that the clothes need constant repairs
Speaker 2: and it's just like the pants are being sewn by
Speaker 2: one of the house wenches every single day.
Speaker 1: But it's also the economy. Those wenches need jobs.
Speaker 2: No, that's true. No, you're right, and from like a
Speaker 2: Kinesian perspective, it makes sense, just like the wench has
Speaker 2: got to be doing something, you know, if she's not
Speaker 2: she's not sewing, then she's getting she's saying her deep Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I learned a crazy thing about Charles and his
Speaker 1: wife Catherine, Queen Catherine, who actually the public hated and
Speaker 1: did little research myself because she was like Portuguese and
Speaker 1: like was Catholic but converted.
Speaker 2: He talks so much about the Portuguese the book. He
Speaker 2: keeps being like they're so ugly and weird and their
Speaker 2: town is gross, and like they don't make sense.
Speaker 1: Because I was like, what's going on? Because he's being
Speaker 1: so gossip even though he's always like fighting with his wife.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, there's so many like
Speaker 1: cute paragraphs where he's being like, my wife and I
Speaker 1: laid in bed and had so much discourse about.
Speaker 2: Not yeah, no, they're having discourse about like life, ARTI theater,
Speaker 2: like it's really.
Speaker 1: Beautiful, politics, finance, and then he'll be like the king
Speaker 1: does not like his wife and for she can bear
Speaker 1: no children as well.
Speaker 2: People hate when a queen can't bear a child. It's
Speaker 2: really But the thing is people love Charles. He was
Speaker 2: called the Mary King, and I think there was a
Speaker 2: huge amount of joy at like the monarchy being restored.
Speaker 1: But people were so happy about that, and I think
Speaker 1: people just didn't get that she literally was just I mean.
Speaker 2: Well, but she was sick girl. Remember how she's sick
Speaker 2: for like she's the queen was possed because she's sick today.
Speaker 1: Kay, Yeah, and everyone hates Megan.
Speaker 2: It's like her name is also Catherine. That's crazy, yeah,
Speaker 2: because she is hard sick for like hard six months.
Speaker 2: And he's carrying on with like two different messages and
Speaker 2: everyone's talking about and he's being kind of like he's
Speaker 2: the King's being like a little bit obvious boots about it.
Speaker 1: He's no get this. So her best friend was like
Speaker 1: her maiden, and then he fired her maiden so he
Speaker 1: could have his mistresses become her maiden, which Samuel Peeps
Speaker 1: also does. Yeah, they're all being like so sister wife
Speaker 1: and being like, well, obviously I'm gonna be fucking my
Speaker 1: wife's maid because it just makes sense, like keep her around.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just about domestic convenience. And also like if
Speaker 2: she's on the payroll, then it's I mean, and it
Speaker 2: is a little bit more like abusive power in this way,
Speaker 2: but it's also bit more like, you know, fam keep
Speaker 2: in the family and also pay women what they are owed.
Speaker 2: Just to continue with the wife for a second, he's
Speaker 2: always so mad at her for being messy, which is
Speaker 2: the most normal relationship thing ever. I just like, there's
Speaker 2: so many instants in the book. After dinner, my wife
Speaker 2: went and fetch the little to us, which were very
Speaker 2: pretty ones. After they were gone, I went up to
Speaker 2: put my papers in order, and finding my wife's clothes
Speaker 2: lie carelessly laid up. I was angry with her, which
Speaker 2: I was troubled for. It's like this is always getting
Speaker 2: mad and then feeling guilty about getting mad.
Speaker 1: And this, by the way, is right after he did
Speaker 1: buy her a new petticoat. It's like the way I've
Speaker 1: been in this like fight where I feel like I'll
Speaker 1: see Maya like buy a new like vintage like Sonia
Speaker 1: riquel piece, and then I'll see it crumpled into her
Speaker 1: drawer and I'm like, do you want to respect the clothing?
Speaker 2: Or not okay wait when so after like she finds him,
Speaker 2: like we're saying three or four deep in in the Maid,
Speaker 2: she makes him fire the maid, which she does with
Speaker 2: tears in his eyes, and it's like, wow, this is
Speaker 2: so dramatic and.
Speaker 1: You're streaming down.
Speaker 2: You can't be our wench anymore.
Speaker 3: You can't.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you must go.
Speaker 2: But then like right after he fires her, he like
Speaker 2: goes and like tries to find her, and then he goes, so,
Speaker 2: I could not be commanded by my reason, but I
Speaker 2: must go this very night. And so by coach at
Speaker 2: being out dark eye to her close by my tailors,
Speaker 2: he like finds out where she's staying, which is by
Speaker 2: his taylor's house.
Speaker 1: She's like perfect and you get new liggings.
Speaker 2: And she comes into the coach to me, and then
Speaker 2: he writes a mix of French and English as like
Speaker 2: a weird way of like concealing. He goes, and JA
Speaker 2: did beze her? I did, nevertheless give her the best
Speaker 2: counsel I could and beze.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what does bezi make cin.
Speaker 2: Beze means to kiss, but it also means to fuck,
Speaker 2: So they fucked. They fucked. He's definitely four deep in
Speaker 2: the uber like he's down.
Speaker 1: And the coaches a clop clop, and he's like, why
Speaker 1: don't you actually step outside. I'll pay the fare whatever
Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, and he's like damn, I'm like so
Speaker 1: sorry I fired you, but like one last tussle in
Speaker 1: the uber.
Speaker 2: No, but you know that he's getting a really bad
Speaker 2: rating from the driver and.
Speaker 1: Then everyone's like, dude, do not drive pep.
Speaker 2: He's always getting so much honey juice all over my
Speaker 2: appols and it's.
Speaker 1: Like so much like petticoats are flying and he's like
Speaker 1: getting under so many layers. And then like there must
Speaker 1: have been such a business in the lacing and dressing
Speaker 1: because they're always like fucking and.
Speaker 2: Having to be.
Speaker 1: Someone's been like pay me five pence and I'll lace
Speaker 1: up your breches a get.
Speaker 2: Know, and you have to like pay all these just
Speaker 2: like freaky little beggars. You're like throwing Chillians left and
Speaker 2: right to get relaced after you fucked new job.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, their Marge was so sexy because he
Speaker 1: hires a man to teach her how to dance, and
Speaker 1: he's always hiring people in a very noble way, like
Speaker 1: to tea.
Speaker 2: Because she needs the class, she needs something to do.
Speaker 2: She's pattering around the fucking house. I can only re
Speaker 2: upholster the fucking chambers, like so many times a year.
Speaker 2: We need to teach her to sing.
Speaker 1: Teach her to dance. And then he's always shopping, of course,
Speaker 1: because it's like, I mean, I feel like he's so
Speaker 1: us in that thing where it's like, Okay, you have
Speaker 1: an appointment in Soho, you're doing one podcast in Chinatown,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, well, I'm here, so why don't
Speaker 1: I sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally my change, and she.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so of course I'll like go into the glove store.
Speaker 1: He buys her these globes and he's like, and I
Speaker 1: assume that he meant like world globes, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I think she had the mind to learn about them,
Speaker 1: So I bought her globes and I can't wait to
Speaker 1: teach her about them. But then with the dancing, he
Speaker 1: hires a teacher and then it's literally so merry because
Speaker 1: it's a hot guy.
Speaker 2: No, and then he's like, wait, me thinks I should
Speaker 2: not have hired this guy, and like they're being so
Speaker 2: talking and one time he comes home and he's like
Speaker 2: they weren't even dancing. They were just talking. Literally, they
Speaker 2: were just scur scene. He's like, meddle me, but then
Speaker 2: he admits it. He's like, but I he's turned on
Speaker 2: by it. And he's also just like and I know
Speaker 2: that I too am a bit naughty and perhaps have
Speaker 2: elements of dishonesty that perhaps I have not shared, and
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be so quick of judgment, which is so.
Speaker 1: Modern of him, because I feel like, honestly, I feel
Speaker 1: like it got more conservative in the eighteen hundreds to
Speaker 1: be more like, well, I'm the man and I can
Speaker 1: like go rustle about in petticoats. But he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I get it, Like I'm so naughty with like every lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of the house. And I do think that this
Speaker 2: time was also like about like pleasure and like and
Speaker 2: enjoyment and like there has been so much like back
Speaker 2: and forth. The Protestant Reformation was like hugely tumultuous throughout
Speaker 2: Europe and like the Anglician Church of its hard one
Speaker 2: hundred years before. So when I was kind of this
Speaker 2: mix above, but like Catholics were being like, Okay, we're
Speaker 2: getting with the classics. It's like, but people are still
Speaker 2: doing it. And Charles the san was like more tall.
Speaker 1: Boats the way it mirrors today because this is the
Speaker 1: time of also the plague, and I feel like it
Speaker 1: was just like they're having their like twenty twenty two
Speaker 1: when everyone like now became obsessed with like vodka Rigatonian
Speaker 1: like yes and Martini's and pleasure and just like yes,
Speaker 1: because it was we all want booths and like excess.
Speaker 2: Yes, post pandemic people wanted excess because the plague happens
Speaker 2: in sixteen sixty five or something like copper through this.
Speaker 2: But then also you know, after the tumult of the
Speaker 2: interregnum and then endless wars and.
Speaker 1: There, I feel like they wanted the monarchy.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh they did. Although there's an interesting passage.
Speaker 2: So one of the things that's so crazy is he's
Speaker 2: literally on the boat with the king coming back from
Speaker 2: the Netherlands. He just happens to be on it.
Speaker 1: It's like he's so casual guy about how he's hanging
Speaker 1: with the king.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like very chill, deeply chill. So like when
Speaker 2: the king comes back, there is a lot of excitement
Speaker 2: and everyone's having all of these like bonfires in the
Speaker 2: city Great Joy all yesterday at London a night, more
Speaker 2: bonfires than ever and ringing of bells and drinking of
Speaker 2: the King's health upon their knees in the streets, which
Speaker 2: methinks is a little too much. But everybody seems to
Speaker 2: be very joyful in this business. He's like, everyone's been
Speaker 2: a little bit too King Pilled, like, yes, the King
Speaker 2: is back, but let's all just like calm down.
Speaker 1: He's like, we don't need to have bonfires about the king,
Speaker 1: like I've hung out with him.
Speaker 2: And he also says, so they then dig up Oliver
Speaker 2: Cromwell and put his literal rotting head on a spike
Speaker 2: in front of Wismondster Abbey and it stays there for
Speaker 2: twenty years.
Speaker 1: No, and he's being like, and I got a message.
Speaker 1: The limbs are beginning to smell.
Speaker 2: It's like so gross and barbarican insane. And he also
Speaker 2: he's like, I think this is too far, Like we don't,
Speaker 2: and he says, he's like, you know, I think Oliver
Speaker 2: Cromwell was a brave guy to like try to lead
Speaker 2: England into a republic. I got it didn't work out,
Speaker 2: but do we need to be so oh, King Pill
Speaker 2: that we're like pulling him out of the ground, Like
Speaker 2: that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Because I feel like the way he sees the king,
Speaker 1: like he's kind of talking about him like he is
Speaker 1: like a dope friend, but he's kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's also my friend. Like I don't know, he's not
Speaker 1: doing anything like so amazing, No.
Speaker 2: I mean he you know, he cares about order, he
Speaker 2: cares about civility. He cares about like thinking the lords
Speaker 2: of running well and like and like when.
Speaker 1: He sees, you know, all these seamen begging and he
Speaker 1: is being like, well, the government actually does oh each
Speaker 1: of them twenty pounds. Yeah, and he's insulting the government
Speaker 1: from not paying them. But he's also a little bit
Speaker 1: like grossed out about like how begging they are.
Speaker 2: Well, he's also kind of from a pr perspective, he
Speaker 2: looks bad, yes, and he realized that he was like,
Speaker 2: let's not be too like indulgent and excessive because it's
Speaker 2: gonna give revolution vibes when everyone has like so many
Speaker 2: debts and they're seeing the king in his court like
Speaker 2: carry on like so em merrily, right.
Speaker 1: And he's like, then they're gonna be so mad at us.
Speaker 2: But also when he's on that boat, the part where
Speaker 2: they're gazing upon other women out the window, very calm
Speaker 2: again and I pretty well, but my head ached all day.
Speaker 2: The lieutenant and I lay out of his window with
Speaker 2: his glass looking at the women that were on board
Speaker 2: the vessels nearby, being pretty handsome. The level of horniness
Speaker 2: it requires to be on a ship looking through a
Speaker 2: spyglass out of window at women on other ships, like
Speaker 2: they're in full petticoats on the deck of another ship.
Speaker 2: It's like, what are.
Speaker 1: You you know, the sea is so rocket right, and
Speaker 1: they're all like covered in so much like turkey blood.
Speaker 2: Right, that's like turkey blood coated woman in petticoats so
Speaker 2: far away on the deck of another shipping flock. How
Speaker 2: well carriage?
Speaker 1: She is like, there, aren't like you get so horny
Speaker 1: in the army because you're just like all in your
Speaker 1: little bunk.
Speaker 2: And being at sea makes anyone horny.
Speaker 1: Probably on the boat she was a little more like,
Speaker 1: heave ho, don't you.
Speaker 3: More?
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, okay, now it makes more sense, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: all right, carry on.
Speaker 1: And he's okay, wait. He also he goes onto the ship.
Speaker 1: It is also very like navel admin guy that like
Speaker 1: finally gets to do something and he's being so like, ooh,
Speaker 1: I get to go on the trip. Yeah, he like
Speaker 1: writes his a state and writes his will and tells
Speaker 1: his wife.
Speaker 2: Right, your will every time you go on a boat,
Speaker 2: because you never know.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start doing that. And he tells his wife
Speaker 1: and he's been like and I was besotted and saddened
Speaker 1: and she may never see me again. And then he
Speaker 1: goes on the boat and he's like, I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to like not be with this hoe and he basically
Speaker 1: is like, I'm glad I don't have to think about
Speaker 1: all of her bullshit like on the day today of
Speaker 1: like if she wants her gowns laced or not.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so I want to mention that the patches.
Speaker 1: Let's get into patches.
Speaker 2: So apparently women of the day were wearing patches of
Speaker 2: fabric on their face. Like little I was.
Speaker 1: Shook by that because I was like, I've never seen
Speaker 1: this in like a you know many of the point.
Speaker 2: He was like he was like saying that it was hot,
Speaker 2: and he was like and like the King's mistress did
Speaker 2: look very well carriaged and becoming with her three patches, and.
Speaker 1: It's like a sign of being like I'm ready to
Speaker 1: be horny, right, it's flagging again. They're straight cruising doing.
Speaker 2: Modern like bandana culture. Yeah, and like one on the
Speaker 2: middle of the nose meant that you were like in
Speaker 2: heat like and like it's a little bit like acne
Speaker 2: patches today that gen Z is just.
Speaker 1: Imagining it very be your a but also much more
Speaker 1: like made of horse hair and like velvet because.
Speaker 2: It's basically just like one little piece of velvet that
Speaker 2: you're licking. It's probably silk, like definitely silk that you
Speaker 2: put on because it's adhesive just with saliva.
Speaker 1: We should go to get some silk patches. He's always
Speaker 1: like learning about fashions from his wife and like some
Speaker 1: he's into and some he's not. Yeah, like his wife
Speaker 1: tell him that like this certain type of like neck
Speaker 1: covering is really sexy, and he's being like, I hate it,
Speaker 1: but like my wife likes it, so sure, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's very how like big pants are in fashion
Speaker 1: and it's so just like a horny guy being like
Speaker 1: I don't want you to wear huge pants, but like
Speaker 1: if it's in.
Speaker 2: Fashion, sure, But then like six months later he's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: actually he's.
Speaker 1: Looking Yeah, he is just just has to get accustomed sometimes,
Speaker 1: like to the styles of the day, and she's being like, no,
Speaker 1: look like seriously, patches are in, scarfs are in like
Speaker 1: perry golds are in.
Speaker 2: And I need you to relace my gloves and give
Speaker 2: me the seven shillings for it. And he's like, you
Speaker 2: dastardly wretch, I'm going to the Dolphin tavern. Okay. This
Speaker 2: is him just walking on the way to work one
Speaker 2: day to my lord in the morning where I met
Speaker 2: with Captain Cuttings, but my lord not being up and
Speaker 2: went out to Charing Cross to see Major General Harrison
Speaker 2: hanged drawn and courted, which was done there, he looking
Speaker 2: as choful ast any man could do in that condition.
Speaker 2: He was presently cut down and his head and heart
Speaker 2: shone to the people, at which there was great shouts
Speaker 2: of joy. It's just like the casualness of the public executioning.
Speaker 2: And then like later when he's just like I paid
Speaker 2: seven shillings so I get a good spot standing up
Speaker 2: on like a cart to view this other hanging. And
Speaker 2: it took like three hours to see the hanging.
Speaker 1: No, and he's being so public concert about it, being
Speaker 1: like no, and like I did go to like the
Speaker 1: cup opening and then heard like someone was performing and
Speaker 1: like the Killers performed.
Speaker 2: It's absolutely barbaric, And it's like on the one hand
Speaker 2: he is being like, no, we shouldn't have these heads
Speaker 2: on a spike for like a year in this nasty
Speaker 2: and like it's unnecessary. But then he's also just like
Speaker 2: he's a man of the day. Yeah, girl, I'm going
Speaker 2: in the execution.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like are you It's like, are you going to
Speaker 1: be execution later?
Speaker 2: My girl?
Speaker 1: Execution tonight, Queen.
Speaker 2: Hung John in quarter tonight, queen.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the only time I found. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you found, because this book is heavy. That his
Speaker 1: wife finally accuses him of like cheating too much, like
Speaker 1: obviously it's a very donats, don't tell, and she knows
Speaker 1: what's up, but it's with her chambermaid. And this is
Speaker 1: on Sunday, Lord's Day, up into my chambers to settle
Speaker 1: some accounts there and by down comes my wife to
Speaker 1: me and her nightgown, and we begun calmly that upon
Speaker 1: having money to lace her gown for second morning, she
Speaker 1: would promise to wear white locks no more in my sight,
Speaker 1: which I like a severe fool thinking not enough begun
Speaker 1: to accept against and made her fly out to very
Speaker 1: high terms and cry, and in her heat told me
Speaker 1: of keeping company with missus Nip, saying that if I
Speaker 1: would promise never to see her more of whom she
Speaker 1: had more reason to suspect that I had hat four
Speaker 1: of Pembleton, she would never wear white locks more. So
Speaker 1: It's basically like he hates when she wears a wig
Speaker 1: of white attached locks, and she's like, if you don't
Speaker 1: fuck missus palmer Bolton anymore, I won't wear white locks.
Speaker 1: I mean kind of a good deal.
Speaker 2: No, I mean this is the politics of marriage in
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 1: And he's like it vexed me, but I knew to
Speaker 1: shut my fat mouth.
Speaker 2: Basically, he's just like, I'm getting a free pass here
Speaker 2: and this is as good as gold.
Speaker 1: So like she's just saying no more wigs.
Speaker 2: And also the realities he knows he is going to
Speaker 2: go see this nib again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's definitely gonna see her. He's just like, I'll
Speaker 1: just hide it a little bit more and just say yes,
Speaker 1: I won't.
Speaker 2: I love how this book is a diary that goes
Speaker 2: here by year and day by day, day by day,
Speaker 2: and you do and like he's constantly just being like, okay,
Speaker 2: so now I have seven hundred and fifty pounds, but
Speaker 2: I hope to one day have two thousand pounds, like
Speaker 2: he is being this girl boss.
Speaker 1: Because I think the book starts he has very much
Speaker 1: more like two hundred pounds.
Speaker 2: And then he has fifty seven hundred pounds by the end,
Speaker 2: which I looked it up. That's one point four million
Speaker 2: in today's term.
Speaker 1: Okay, damn.
Speaker 2: So he is like this middle class bier carap but
Speaker 2: he he's basically rich by the end.
Speaker 1: And I guess he takes a lot of bribes, which
Speaker 1: I was kind of like getting catch during the book
Speaker 1: because it's like so pounds this, and he's always meeting
Speaker 1: up at a tavern and somebody giving him stuff.
Speaker 2: Because people are always like getting hanged for robberies and
Speaker 2: like random stuff and like deserting the army. But I
Speaker 2: guess bribes was like more chill.
Speaker 1: I think he's just like probably like at a tavern
Speaker 1: and like another earl is like you take one hundred pounds, okay,
Speaker 1: and then you let me go on this boat, and
Speaker 1: he's probably like taking out his quill and doing something
Speaker 1: quill life.
Speaker 2: I just let when he starts sixteen sixty one. He
Speaker 2: goes at the end of last in the beginning of
Speaker 2: this year. I do live in one of the houses
Speaker 2: belonging to the Navy Office as one of the principal officers.
Speaker 2: And I've done it for a year and a half
Speaker 2: after much of with work. Now I'm almost settled, my
Speaker 2: family being myself, my wife, Jane, will Hugh or Wayneman
Speaker 2: mccurley's brother also I left.
Speaker 1: Who was he says, gurlyes like Gurly is.
Speaker 2: Myself in constant good health and in my most handsome
Speaker 2: and thriving condition. Blessed be Almighty God for it. He's
Speaker 2: been so like this is my year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my house.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Whenever he ends a year, like after Christmas, like he'll
Speaker 1: be getting in a fight, and then like he swears
Speaker 1: off drinking, like which is so dry January.
Speaker 2: Every year he's always.
Speaker 1: Being like, I woke up sick and the maid who
Speaker 1: I'm fucking, I had to bring like a bathtub, and
Speaker 1: so I was vomiting so much, and he's like it
Speaker 1: was probably from the drink I had tonight. And he's like,
Speaker 1: I made myself a vow and I need to keep
Speaker 1: to my vows. But then he'll be like, well, but
Speaker 1: then I did meet like Earl of like Quaddle two,
Speaker 1: like at the Lord's Tallow tavern, and like we did
Speaker 1: have beers. But sometimes he's been like they were actually
Speaker 1: wasted and like I only had a drink.
Speaker 2: No, and he's like being so judgmenttal and then be like,
Speaker 2: oh but then my head ached the next day. There
Speaker 2: at that one time he goes to dinner, he's like
Speaker 2: and I could not believe that I had but not
Speaker 2: one sip of wine the entire dinner.
Speaker 1: No, he's like proud of himself.
Speaker 2: But it's like that happens once.
Speaker 1: No, it's very I was like, damn relate when you're
Speaker 1: just being so like, oh yeah, I'm actually good Seltzer.
Speaker 2: Thanks at night home and found my wife come home
Speaker 2: and among other things, she hath got her teeth new
Speaker 2: done by Laroche and R and D. No'm pretty handsome
Speaker 2: and I was much pleased with it, so to bed
Speaker 2: just like.
Speaker 1: He's like, damn, your teeth aren't so fucked up anymore.
Speaker 2: She got bed. She got these new teeth from roams amazing.
Speaker 2: She was looking hot. Honestly, she was handsome as fuck.
Speaker 1: Okay, so when he like witnesses the great fire, and
Speaker 1: he is like really sad about it, and he's being like, oh,
Speaker 1: and like everyone was dying, and he goes. So we
Speaker 1: were forced to begin to pack up our own goods
Speaker 1: and prepare for the removal. And did by moonshine carry
Speaker 1: much of my goods into the garden. And I looked
Speaker 1: this up and it was just like he was being
Speaker 1: so fab and like burying all of his fine cheeses
Speaker 1: during the fire. And he was like, by daylight three
Speaker 1: hundred houses in London had fallen.
Speaker 2: This part's insane, so they'll be at not knowing how
Speaker 2: to remove his wine, did dig a pit in the
Speaker 2: garden and laid it in there, And I took the
Speaker 2: opportunity of laying all the papers of my office that
Speaker 2: I could not otherwise dispose of. And in the evening
Speaker 2: so w penn and I did dig another and pour
Speaker 2: our wine in it, and I my parmesan cheese as
Speaker 2: well as my wine and some other things. Burying cheese during.
Speaker 1: A fire me just like burying your like parmesan and wine.
Speaker 2: You know, the fire is absolutely devastating.
Speaker 1: He has empathy and he is like, oh, I did
Speaker 1: go to bed sad yeah, but I'm also bearing it.
Speaker 2: Brought him to tears to see all of London a flame.
Speaker 2: What I thought was also really interesting is he literally
Speaker 2: tells the King like he's like running to the palace
Speaker 2: and he's like at Whitehall and he's like, girl, we
Speaker 2: need to actually take down all these houses because for
Speaker 2: those of you who don't know, most of the houses
Speaker 2: were thatched roofs okay that goes out like okay, yat
Speaker 2: and a fire okay, it's insanely combustible match lit. And
Speaker 2: so he goes to the King and he's like, girl,
Speaker 2: we need to pull these down. And then the King
Speaker 2: commanded me to go to my Lord Mayor for him
Speaker 2: and command him to spare no houses, but to pull
Speaker 2: down before the fire every way tell him. So he
Speaker 2: was like, you're right, girl, Like he was actually like
Speaker 2: helping stop the fire and like pad the King's ear.
Speaker 1: No, he wasn't being so like I'm just drinking and
Speaker 1: like writing random papers and letters like he was running
Speaker 1: about town. He was.
Speaker 2: And I have to say, like, one thing I live
Speaker 2: with this diary is it's so like he has such
Speaker 2: a curiosity about the world and an interest in people,
Speaker 2: and it's like there's so much is his.
Speaker 1: Interest in people.
Speaker 2: There's so much plot. He's always like talking about everyone
Speaker 2: in the town. Like when I have kept the diary.
Speaker 1: It's so funny because I was going to ask you,
Speaker 1: I wonder not to read anything, but what have your
Speaker 1: diaries been?
Speaker 2: Like I actually kept the diary recently when I was
Speaker 2: traveling in Europe and and I was being like so
Speaker 2: girl and like bottomless at the airport obviously like stop
Speaker 2: doing the trip, but I was being like pretty like
Speaker 2: I'm a writer and like, you know, doing kind of like.
Speaker 1: Be more diddian about it.
Speaker 2: I was being more diddian and like as I sit
Speaker 2: on the train as we cross the border into Hungry
Speaker 2: and I'm like writing like floor descriptions of like the vegetation,
Speaker 2: and then like and you can see the crumbling tower
Speaker 2: blocks of the Soviet regime, and then.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, how I sip my espresso Soviet.
Speaker 2: And I'm talking about, you know, my own insecurities and
Speaker 2: my relationship. It's pretty introspective. It's very like giving main
Speaker 2: character energy. Yeah, and like I'm not being like so
Speaker 2: talking about every person I meet and like the more
Speaker 2: plot stuff that happens, unless it's like sexploits, which I
Speaker 2: do write down.
Speaker 1: You're like, well, if other people are having sex with me,
Speaker 1: I'll write it down, Yes, right. What I loved about
Speaker 1: this is like, no, I'm sure that diary is amazing public.
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying like I'm being like a more
Speaker 2: like narcissistic, introspective quirdo.
Speaker 1: He really is like a diarist of like his time, of.
Speaker 2: His times and like all the stuff that's going on.
Speaker 2: He just has this realless curiosity.
Speaker 1: But it is kind of this more sexy British way
Speaker 1: where it's a mix where he is being introspective still
Speaker 1: and be like, m my wife is vexed, but it
Speaker 1: will be mixed with like wrote the paper, put out
Speaker 1: the roof fire.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's one sentence of being like I felt
Speaker 2: bad about yelling at him. I'm like, I would be
Speaker 2: writing three paragraphs just like. And I do wonder if
Speaker 2: this dynamic that I find again and again and my
Speaker 2: relationships comes back to my childhood and you know.
Speaker 1: Like and maybe the gloves actually symbolize my father. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, I will say I feel like
Speaker 1: his style of diary when they uncovered that in the
Speaker 1: eighteen hundreds was so new. So I feel like the
Speaker 1: way you're writing in many most write a diary happens
Speaker 1: because he did this, Like you see, it's possible not
Speaker 1: to just be like we cross the Allegheny River.
Speaker 2: Yes, because I'm also writing as someone like who has
Speaker 2: like read one book by Don't and is like writing
Speaker 2: kind of for an audience in a way, whereas he's
Speaker 2: not really writing for an audience, like he one day
Speaker 2: thinks that someone's gonna read his diary, but he doesn't
Speaker 2: think it's gonna happen in his lifetime.
Speaker 1: No, And I feel like I've written diaries, yeah, like
Speaker 1: in the past of either just like so much like
Speaker 1: scribble and emotion and it's much more teen diary and
Speaker 1: angst and.
Speaker 2: Lyrics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're way more like lyrics mixed in with
Speaker 1: just like I don't know why she thinks that, and
Speaker 1: like will I ever be this cool? Like and it's
Speaker 1: not being like today was September eleventh, yeah, or it's
Speaker 1: being like Trump hassassinated golf course I bought a coat, yeah,
Speaker 1: like we should be. I mean I feel like my
Speaker 1: Twitter is being more that and like Twitter stuff and
Speaker 1: they will publish that, and they published little observations. No,
Speaker 1: I am inspired, and I do want to be more
Speaker 1: like giving one thing that happened to me, one emotional thing.
Speaker 2: And then one like topic event of national importance, and
Speaker 2: then one of local importance.
Speaker 1: Exactly local politics, national politics, shopping culture. I guess that's
Speaker 1: what the vip unch is.
Speaker 2: One thing that struck me is how we've mentioned about
Speaker 2: how similar his daily life is to our daily lives. Now.
Speaker 2: He's like going to the office and getting into fights
Speaker 2: with his wife, goes to a play, goes to a bar,
Speaker 2: goes home and like has so many is hung over
Speaker 2: the next day, like anxiety about money, counting this money
Speaker 2: like and gets up, goes to work, do it all
Speaker 2: over again. But one thing that struck me is that
Speaker 2: I feel like we are actually much more isolated in
Speaker 2: our lives now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he is like doing this thing where he's
Speaker 1: much more going to the town and like you're just
Speaker 1: going into the tavern where it's like, yeah, we may
Speaker 1: like go to you know, jeans and you're seeing people
Speaker 1: you run into, but just kind of more of a daily.
Speaker 2: And every element of your life than had more people.
Speaker 2: It's like they have seven winches at home, their middle
Speaker 2: class family but they have all these servants. People used
Speaker 2: to have servants styling. Like he's getting his haircut and
Speaker 2: like shaved, like every week at the barber's, but like
Speaker 2: he also at one point goes to the barber to
Speaker 2: get a tie put on, to get a cravat because
Speaker 2: he's like.
Speaker 1: Well again, they need everything tied in the count's lace.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It's like, what if our lives were so much more
Speaker 1: social where I was, you know, hiring someone to come
Speaker 1: over to dress me, yes, which is kind of our
Speaker 1: modern days being should I wear this?
Speaker 2: We have the group chat, thank god. But I do
Speaker 2: just think we are so even in a city like
Speaker 2: New York and millions of people, it is so easy
Speaker 2: to go an entire day without ever having a meaningful
Speaker 2: interaction with anyone. We go to the gym, we scan
Speaker 2: our little barcode headphones on. You know, it's like we're
Speaker 2: not knowing the butcher. Okay, we're throwing it in our car.
Speaker 2: It's like we use the electric razor at home. We're
Speaker 2: not going to the barber I have. I'm not having
Speaker 2: a mourning draft with my locals and discussing the matters
Speaker 2: of stage.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know. I feel like coffee mob is
Speaker 1: so morning draft and I am like running into a
Speaker 1: guy I see there every day and he's being so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I actually like, maybe do want to move back to Cambridge?
Speaker 2: But you're not talking about affairs of state with him,
Speaker 2: and that's the problem.
Speaker 1: But I think that's enough to talk about the affairs
Speaker 1: of state of the culture of Cambridge sometimes, yeah.
Speaker 2: A little bit. Okay, you have your college I am.
Speaker 2: I guess it's like I go to a coffee shop
Speaker 2: and it's like I say hi to the breest or whatever,
Speaker 2: and like, I'm not woon girl, give you. It gives
Speaker 2: me the gen Z heart with the hands thing and.
Speaker 1: I anyway, you should hire a houseboy that you beaten
Speaker 1: like to dress That's what I'm saying. I think you
Speaker 1: want a dresser.
Speaker 2: Six home wenches.
Speaker 1: You're like, here's the thing with so much more social
Speaker 1: with the wenches. Okay, what happened to that?
Speaker 2: I just miss all the life or could we have
Speaker 2: like neighborhood wenches, Like I don't need six bunches in
Speaker 2: my apartment because it's a railroad. Ultimately, you want.
Speaker 1: Them like classic upstairs downstairs. You want them all to
Speaker 1: be like in like bunk beds in a shared railroad.
Speaker 2: One house on the block should be the Wench house.
Speaker 2: And then like we are.
Speaker 1: Six gay guys and it's like a hype house.
Speaker 2: It's like a hype house of gay wenches. They each
Speaker 2: have their own apartment that's like as big as my apartment,
Speaker 2: but like they're just coming to the other like they're cleaning,
Speaker 2: and but like I'm seeing them and like I'm fucking
Speaker 2: one of the wenches. You know what I.
Speaker 1: Also love about, Yes, I'm gonna get you a wench
Speaker 1: for Christmas is the amount of like theater he does see.
Speaker 1: And I think we've like made theater thing only like
Speaker 1: women and like gay guys like and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's become this like more faggot coded girl thing to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess like comedy is so like straight guy.
Speaker 1: But my wife and I to the puppet play in
Speaker 1: Covenant Garden, which I saw the other day, and indeed
Speaker 1: it is very pleasant here among the fiddlers. I first
Speaker 1: saw Dyl Simer played it on sticks, knocking up the
Speaker 1: strings and is very pretty. And he's seeing a puppet
Speaker 1: show for the second time and giving it a review.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now we would not be like uh, I
Speaker 2: just saw this puppet show last.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's like, but I will to my wife again.
Speaker 2: And I like that. He has like, you know, a
Speaker 2: critique of everything he sees, and he's always like, well,
Speaker 2: the acting was bad, the writing was okay, Falstaff was good,
Speaker 2: but everyone else sucked.
Speaker 1: Which we have to get to one of the best
Speaker 1: lines of all time in the book. And he goes, well,
Speaker 1: I just saw Midsummer's Night Dream. It was dreadful. It's
Speaker 1: like you never hear someone in the past actually being
Speaker 1: like that Shakespeare play sucked. Like all we hear is
Speaker 1: respect for Shakespeare, I know. And I was like, we
Speaker 1: actually just talked about like maybe seeing a random production
Speaker 1: that you're.
Speaker 2: Like, it's actually like, like Shakespeare died not that long before,
Speaker 2: so it's still just being like, yeah, we can talk
Speaker 2: shit about it. We don't have to have the person
Speaker 2: who ever lived like some are good.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I saw The New Joker. I actually
Speaker 1: wasn't that into it.
Speaker 2: Wait, you remember the part where also woman spits on
Speaker 2: him by accident. But then he was like, but she
Speaker 2: was hot, right, but she.
Speaker 1: Was attractive and I did enjoy a spit.
Speaker 2: Here we go. I went to mister Cruz, and then
Speaker 2: to the theater where I saw again the lost Lady,
Speaker 2: which do now Okay, he's ex seen things multiple times
Speaker 2: which do now please me better than before. And here
Speaker 2: I sitting behind in a dark place a lady spit
Speaker 2: backward upon me by mistake not seeing me, but after
Speaker 2: seeing her to be very pretty lady. I was not
Speaker 2: troubled at it at all. It's like, you are kinky
Speaker 2: boot E is kinky boot I guess we should maybe
Speaker 2: get to the plague quickly. Yeah, it is so Covid.
Speaker 1: And all the rich people are going to the country
Speaker 1: and he talks about all.
Speaker 2: These people and fleeing in their coaches, in their coach
Speaker 2: in the country, and like when it starts, he's like,
Speaker 2: so the plague is kind of in Amsterdam, and we're
Speaker 2: a little worried, and we're like, are we quarantining the
Speaker 2: depth chips? And it's like it's literally verbating the same
Speaker 2: thing that happened, or we're being like boo, here's a
Speaker 2: case and there's something going down in Wuhan. Where is that?
Speaker 2: And then like you're reading these stories or being like
Speaker 2: it's crazy and everyone's like.
Speaker 1: You shows and then you're like Huh, there's one case
Speaker 1: in Philly, and then yeah, everyone Insley is getting in
Speaker 1: their coaches and like buying new coaches in out of
Speaker 1: their country.
Speaker 2: Everyone fleet Manhattan, although it's insane, is at some point
Speaker 2: he says there was seven thousand people a week dying
Speaker 2: in London, which is more than was ever dying a
Speaker 2: week in New York City during the height of COVID.
Speaker 1: Imagine how crazy that was in London in sixteen sixteen crazy.
Speaker 2: And he's talking about just like.
Speaker 1: You're walking by and its people with toils.
Speaker 2: Like a dye where the smell must have been horrendous,
Speaker 2: but like, were you so tolerant? You know, yeah, everything
Speaker 2: smelled bad.
Speaker 1: Because it's like everything smelled so bad, but like truly
Speaker 1: like seven thousand bodies probably like rotting, and then they
Speaker 1: were burning them and that's more people burning them, and
Speaker 1: then then they're coming up to you being that give
Speaker 1: me bread, give me and you'll like stay away.
Speaker 2: And then it's like they were like not even having
Speaker 2: enough room in the cemeteries to bury the bodies, which
Speaker 2: you could like pay more to be buried in one
Speaker 2: of the cemeteries.
Speaker 1: That's probably what he was taking bribes.
Speaker 2: For be like, fine, I'll bury your wife in the cemetery.
Speaker 2: But he was also being like it is shady that
Speaker 2: they're saying that they're not going to bury everyone.
Speaker 1: Because he does have respect for the dead.
Speaker 2: But I do think it's actually quite well of him
Speaker 2: that he doesn't flee.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say he doesn't. He's like, well, and
Speaker 1: another cabbage went and lady of this goes, and he
Speaker 1: stays with his wife and they just kind of like
Speaker 1: hunker down, and he doesn't flee to their He doesn't
Speaker 1: actually have country house. He's like always like visiting.
Speaker 2: Because he is ultimately like so the lord, and he's
Speaker 2: always like obsessed with his lord, and it's just like,
Speaker 2: can you like stop sucking your bosses like slash landlord's
Speaker 2: dick like so much.
Speaker 1: Your sub lord. Yeah, it's like he's more obsessed with
Speaker 1: his lord than he is the king.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He thinks his lord is like so smart, so noble,
Speaker 2: like so respectub me.
Speaker 1: Maybe because the king is like further away, so he's
Speaker 1: like can be more critical. But the Lord, he like
Speaker 1: really does have to like suck his dick and like
Speaker 1: go dancing with and like eat musty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I wonder how much of that is. So
Speaker 2: it's like if anyone ever did find the diary, it
Speaker 2: would actually be worse to be talking shit of imagine
Speaker 2: the Lord than about the King.
Speaker 1: Like the Lord would be like you're fired.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it's like he would literally have nowhere
Speaker 2: to live.
Speaker 1: But he has shit on the Lord here.
Speaker 2: So right, because the Lord's having an affair, but also
Speaker 2: the Lord's like wife is having an affair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's always been like, well, then I also
Speaker 1: kissed the Lady of Sandwich. Yeah, and then he's been
Speaker 1: like she was my lady of Sandwich. You're my lady
Speaker 1: of Sandwich. I don't know. They're all like Polly at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. Wait.
Speaker 2: I love this scene where he describes a butterface dined
Speaker 2: at home and busy again after dinner, and then abroad
Speaker 2: by water to Westminster Hall, where I walked till the
Speaker 2: evening and then out. The first time I effa was
Speaker 2: abroad with Doll Lane to the dog tavern and there
Speaker 2: drank with her A bad face but good bodied girly.
Speaker 1: No, he's a horrible face, good body.
Speaker 2: Wait when he says well carriaged, he means like that's
Speaker 2: what I was thinking.
Speaker 1: He means like garage donk. Well it also because the
Speaker 1: Betty coats are making the be donk even bigger.
Speaker 2: There's so much like so how can you tell z it?
Speaker 1: Because the way the bustle moves rocking, it's like making
Speaker 1: everyone looks a lot right, like those are as like
Speaker 1: being pushed.
Speaker 2: Ok, we didn't talk about the thing where.
Speaker 1: He kisses the mummy again knk.
Speaker 2: He's okay. Ecromeniac all right, he is an ecromaniac. Basically,
Speaker 2: he's just like in a crypt at Westminster Abbey and
Speaker 2: there's just like the Queen Catherine of Valois who has
Speaker 2: been entombed for like two hundred years, and he goes,
Speaker 2: I had the upper part of her body in my hands,
Speaker 2: but I did kiss her mouth, reflecting upon it that
Speaker 2: I did kiss a queen, and that this was my birthday,
Speaker 2: thirty six years old, that I did first kiss a queen.
Speaker 1: Wait, and by the way, he is thirty six and
Speaker 1: just being like, you know what I've done a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've kissed a queen. I have twenty seven hundred pounds
Speaker 1: saw Shakespeare this year, hated it into boet on seat.
Speaker 1: I gotta feel like we're at the same place he is,
Speaker 1: I know, I think.
Speaker 2: Because it's like we're not known, but he's not like
Speaker 2: super famous beyond like just his job, like within his
Speaker 2: like professional circles, but like.
Speaker 1: He's running into people at plays and people are like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I just saw your things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and people like, oh my god, you just testified
Speaker 2: like a parliament or whatever, like that was good.
Speaker 1: That was cool, And like you know, they're like inviting
Speaker 1: him to dinner and we're.
Speaker 2: Doing like kookie stuff like you know that we can
Speaker 2: write home about like.
Speaker 1: Literally yeah, and it's like that's the thing. He was
Speaker 1: writing this, not because he was getting a published. Like
Speaker 1: right again, our diary may be found in two hundred.
Speaker 2: Years, right, So that's why we need to be more.
Speaker 2: Trump's assassinated today.
Speaker 1: Yes, got a sandwich. It was good. Mutton was bad,
Speaker 1: wife was mad. The segments segment what does she eat?
Speaker 1: What does she how does she live?
Speaker 2: I mean we've discussed a lot about what does she eat?
Speaker 1: I think it's it's ale in the morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's the water of the day and you're
Speaker 2: moving to win so much a lot of fun. He
Speaker 2: is definitely having like three squares a day because I
Speaker 2: feel like sometimes he even goes home for lunch from
Speaker 2: the office, but then it's like also hitting up a
Speaker 2: tabin for some goose. And then it's like always doing supper.
Speaker 2: He's never missing supper. Sometimes after he gets home from
Speaker 2: another supper.
Speaker 1: Yeah two, because like maybe he'll do like go to
Speaker 1: a tavern. It's kind of like apps and he's being
Speaker 1: a little more like sliders about it.
Speaker 2: I do want to I feel like he was classic
Speaker 2: like thin until he was forty two and then like
Speaker 2: got a little bit jubby.
Speaker 1: To me, this face though, is also so like skinny
Speaker 1: fat guy. Oh yeah, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like he's not eating anything in the morning ale,
Speaker 1: it's just kind of like puffy.
Speaker 2: You don't think he's having some just like the hardest
Speaker 2: bread you've ever had.
Speaker 1: It may be like the hardest bread in the entire world.
Speaker 1: But sometimes he's running off and he's like, I didn't
Speaker 1: have time, and then he's like starving.
Speaker 2: The bread has been adulterated with chalk.
Speaker 1: Chalk bread. He's doing chalk bread. And then like lunch
Speaker 1: is like marrow goose Mutton, and the night is a
Speaker 1: little more lobster. Mutton was much lobster, which was interesting
Speaker 1: because then lobster fell out of fashion.
Speaker 2: Because lobster used to be a poor man's food, and
Speaker 2: then they rebranded it as luxury, which is crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're like rats of the Sea.
Speaker 2: Can't wait till they rebrand Tilapia's luxury in ten years.
Speaker 2: No more lobster crab.
Speaker 1: We're having like talapia mac and cheese.
Speaker 2: Right, and it's like road and you see it on
Speaker 2: the menu and it's like market price.
Speaker 1: MP Talaia.
Speaker 2: I do you feel like there's that one point where
Speaker 2: he says he went to someone's estate and like he's
Speaker 2: on orange for the first time, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I feel like they're wanting for citrus over there.
Speaker 1: Yeah there was no acid up in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah they need it for I'm sure they had like plenty.
Speaker 1: Of salt potatoes.
Speaker 2: Also britches, gloves, silks, velvet.
Speaker 1: Silks, amazing pocket watches. He's a watch guy like Rolex,
Speaker 1: let's go vintage. And then he does get wigs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's that point where he's like I had to
Speaker 2: go to my barbers to pick out all the gnats
Speaker 2: from my wig and there's all this like I mean,
Speaker 2: everything's nasty. There's like larvae in your.
Speaker 1: Hair when someone's like pulling your wig and it's like disgusting.
Speaker 1: But yeah, he loves clothes and he loves silks and like.
Speaker 2: And so how do they live? I actually think they
Speaker 2: are very like silk brocades on the wall and like
Speaker 2: they are little silk couches. And they're doing the house
Speaker 2: every year because you got to give the wife something
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 1: So it's like and I think she's choosing like new
Speaker 1: gorgeous curtains.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're doing hugest bed.
Speaker 1: And I also think like by the bed, like a
Speaker 1: few nights a week is like a huge basin full
Speaker 1: of vomit.
Speaker 2: For sure, at least once a week he's vomiting in
Speaker 2: the basement.
Speaker 1: And then there are so many like mirrors because like
Speaker 1: in dressing.
Speaker 2: Rooms they're small mirrors.
Speaker 1: And she's like turning side beside being like how does
Speaker 1: my bustle look?
Speaker 2: At one point he does go get his portrait done
Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, I feel like it's not gonna
Speaker 2: look like me.
Speaker 1: He's being actually so you with like a painting.
Speaker 2: With a pain of himself and.
Speaker 1: Just back to like drinking. Is it like a copper
Speaker 1: goblet copper for wine and maybe ten for ale.
Speaker 2: I feel like he's way too much of a drunk
Speaker 2: to like be getting a different glass.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just one coup.
Speaker 2: It's kind of grabb and go. Yeah, like or he's
Speaker 2: so Stanley cup about it, where he's walking around with
Speaker 2: his big mug all day, like going from tavern to tavern,
Speaker 2: just like filler.
Speaker 1: Up, putting so many like nastiest charms on it.
Speaker 2: And like having the little like black patches the coach.
Speaker 1: Everyone's putting their big steins in there.
Speaker 2: It's jingle jangle, jingle jangle while you're like four fingers
Speaker 2: deep in a wench. I mean, okay, wait, who.
Speaker 1: Are you in the book? I kind of feel like
Speaker 1: we're both kind of peeps in this way because.
Speaker 2: We are both getting into fights with our wives about
Speaker 2: like them leaving clothes places.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then like I'm being like Maya, like you
Speaker 1: bought too much stuff in the real real and then
Speaker 1: I'm going to talent and getting so many new shoes
Speaker 1: and so many shirts. Yeah, I'm like projecting my shoppaholicism.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like my my wife has always been like
Speaker 2: what about this, like house in the Catskills and being
Speaker 2: like with what Monday buys Diesels shirt. So yeah, we're
Speaker 2: both peeps in this way for sure, but then also
Speaker 2: we're just like gossip being at court too.
Speaker 1: Definitely like Cortissans in the court and like also like
Speaker 1: maybe like I'm in like a play that he's being
Speaker 1: like that was bad and I'm being so and I'm
Speaker 1: just like a beggar.
Speaker 2: I honestly give this book five Yeah, literally like five
Speaker 2: boils out of five coach.
Speaker 1: Ubers with Stanley's out of five, Like this is unreal.
Speaker 1: It's the switch literally like this walk so every diary
Speaker 1: published diary could rock.
Speaker 2: It is one of them, densest every like it takes Bridge, yeah,
Speaker 2: because every single page has so much in.
Speaker 1: It, so much history, but it's so many jokes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just funny. It's hilarious and it's so
Speaker 2: deep and you get to see history happening. But he
Speaker 2: like is like we said, it's like he's not this
Speaker 2: self indulgent bitch with his writing. It's like he's just
Speaker 2: giving you plot plot plot plot plot.
Speaker 1: Here it go bang him out anyway, everyone, Bedside Book. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what's perfect is you can just open to an
Speaker 1: entry and be like, oh, he took the coach to
Speaker 1: Saint James Theater, like you don't have to like start
Speaker 1: from beginning to end. Okay, guys, well, tally ho.
Speaker 2: Tally, My carriage is here best best. It was dark
Speaker 2: before I could get home, and I land at churchyard stairs, where,
Speaker 2: to my great trouble, I met a dead corpse of
Speaker 2: the plague. The corpse sadly was our producer Darby Masters.
Speaker 2: May she rest in peace. But I thank god I
Speaker 2: was not too much disturbed by it.
Speaker 1: Well, when I woke up this morning, I actually had
Speaker 1: a pot of chocolate ready made for my morning draft
Speaker 1: and I shared it with our supervising producer Abu Zafar.
Speaker 1: He actually got quite sick from the chocolate, and he
Speaker 1: didn't die, but he was down with a high high
Speaker 1: fever for a couple of days and came right back
Speaker 1: at it. A good glass of ale cured him. Never
Speaker 1: chocolate again.
Speaker 2: I do hope that he can continue on in his
Speaker 2: marriage with Lord Chancellor's daughter Henrietta. A fine carriage, young
Speaker 2: girlly she is.
Speaker 1: This brigade of celebrity book Club was executive produced by
Speaker 1: none other then Queen Christina.
Speaker 2: Everytt our music was composed by the right Honorable Stephen
Speaker 2: Phillips Host who for many many years lived in a
Speaker 2: very very very small cabin, not very well appointed, but
Speaker 2: was a tremendous talent. Sadly he died of gout and
Speaker 2: no amount of pigeon could save it.
Speaker 1: Actually shocking because he died was only one pence, so
Speaker 1: how did he get out? He spent all of his
Speaker 1: money a liver, nail and cheese where which brings me.
Speaker 1: I had my portrait done the other day by one
Speaker 1: Sir Teddy Blaz. I actually had to pay him twenty
Speaker 1: pence and then my wife said, well, what on I
Speaker 1: have a portrait? And I said, oh, you old wench okay,
Speaker 1: I'll get you a portrait anyway. He is very fine.
Speaker 1: Find him in town on corner to Studio five on
Speaker 1: Cromwell Street.
Speaker 2: Our previous arrangement at the Royal Navy was endeavored with
Speaker 2: one prologue project, so of course we had quite a
Speaker 2: row of a shillians and we decided to part ways
Speaker 2: on amicable terms, for which I wish him all the
Speaker 2: best in his travels to the embassy in Tangier.
Speaker 1: Now, if you ought to give us a shilling or
Speaker 1: two We wouldn't mind because the kingdom is falling. I'll
Speaker 1: be honest. So do go to Patreon dot com, sash
Speaker 1: CBC's pardon and you will hear. You'll get more letters
Speaker 1: from us, these much more well.
Speaker 2: Let dot chat very expensive, and we do ask you
Speaker 2: for your patron is Patreon dot com and silk is
Speaker 2: up and you can hear more about discourses on many
Speaker 2: a variety of subject amen