1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Melancamps and Tambrad Jedge. Hi, guys, 2 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: welcome to this week's to Teas in a Pod with myself, 3 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: Teddy Mellancamp and Tambra Judge. I looked, there was not 4 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: even a pause this time. I'm getting better every time, right, 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: I mean, you have a light. I can see your face. 6 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: I mean we're really official now makeupun my hair hot, damn. 7 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: And we have Porsche Williams coming on. She is in 8 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: Los Angeles right now promoting her book, The Pursuit of Porsche. 9 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: So we are so excited to ask her questions from 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: the beginning of when she started Real Housewives of Atlanta 11 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: to what's going on in her life now. So should 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: we bring her on? Yes? Hi, Hi, I am so 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: excited to talk. This is so fun. How are you guys? 14 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: I'm podcast, I'm a guy. I gotta start with pocket. 15 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: It's brand new for me. Anyways. Well listen, yeah, we 16 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: just we just got together. God, you are so excited 17 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: we've been Congratulations, Thank you, what's a big deal that 18 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: you're here with us today? And congratulations on the pursuit 19 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: of Porsha. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you. It's been 20 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: it's been going good. We're sewing out, so that's great. Yeah, congratulations. Now, 21 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: the last time I saw you was in Mexico City. 22 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: We were doing the Fiber one commercial and it's so 23 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: ironic that you're on today because I was cleaning my 24 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: closet out and I found this. My god, I found this. Yes, 25 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: that was epic, Like don't you always want to repost 26 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: that commercial for do? So? Tell us a little bit 27 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: about your book, Like what are people going to get 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 1: from your book that they never were able to see 29 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: on the show. That's the That's the big thing is 30 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,279 Speaker 1: that a lot of people have been able to follow 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: my journey on the show and they're like, girl, what 32 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: else do we what do we not know about you? 33 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: There's a lot that you don't know about me, a 34 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: lot of life I've believe it or not. When I 35 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: started to show up thirty years old, um, you know, 36 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: so here I am at forty. They have seen those 37 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,239 Speaker 1: team years. But my journey is so much more than 38 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: just those sound bites from housewives, and it really dives 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,399 Speaker 1: deep into talking about my my journey and my process 40 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: of getting to this place of power and as I 41 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: am now feeling like I'm walking in my purpose. And 42 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: I really felt after I took a look during quarantine 43 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: at my whole journey. You know, everybody was self reflecting 44 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: in the house. You know, if you didn't take account 45 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: of your life, you did it at that time. And 46 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: I really looked at him, like, Wow, I have come 47 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 1: so far, and I know that a lot of different 48 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: moments where I was stuck. If I just share those moments, 49 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: maybe it can help someone else cross over those bridges 50 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: better than I did, make better choices than I did. 51 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,239 Speaker 1: So it's kind of like the Big Sister manual to 52 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: that's huge because vulnerability is key and opening up because 53 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: often as we think that we're alone and whatever it 54 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: is that we're going through, and then all of a sudden, 55 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: people share and it's game changing. But if we go 56 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: back to like the beginning, how did it come that 57 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: you even got on on Real Housewives? Oh? I definitely 58 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: talked about that in my book for sure, because you know, 59 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: supporters are interested in that right there, like who would 60 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: be signing up on Housewives to like have their personal 61 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: lives on national TV for this long you know? But 62 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: for me, it was I really wanted to show the 63 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: dynamic between myself and my husband as a positive. Um, 64 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: you know, and I'm workout. I know, time's laughing, like 65 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: we've all done it, not you, Teddy. We have this 66 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: image and Teddy too, we have this image that we 67 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: think we're projecting on the show. And then at the 68 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: end of the Heirs season, you're like, what the hell 69 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: that you don't understand me at all? That's not what 70 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: I wanted you to see or hear or feel. And 71 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: so after being misunderstood for a long time, I realized 72 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: after I left the show at ten years, I was like, 73 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to go down misunderstood at all. I 74 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: want supporters who've been on this journey with me to 75 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: really grasp this growth that they see, this glow that 76 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: they're talking about where it came from, And it all 77 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 1: honestly came from my faith walk and just like really 78 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: believing that I can become a better Pors show. Now 79 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: I have to ask you, Um, you announced that you 80 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: are leaving the show. Did you get the Vicky or 81 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: did you do it on your own? What the what's okay? 82 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: That shape? So go to the Vickie is the demotion 83 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: we're gonna get in and then you're like, like, I 84 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: got it. I got the Vicky, you got the Vicky two. 85 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: I didn't even get the Vicky guys. I just got fired. 86 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: What was yours? I was the first one to ever 87 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: announce that I actually got fired. But they do not 88 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,359 Speaker 1: renew my contract. You just kept it real. You just 89 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: was like they, well they brought us that. You can't 90 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: announce this, just let it be and blah blah blah. 91 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 1: Was like, listen, I can't That's not who I am. 92 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: I have to be able to say they didn't know 93 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: my contract. I thought they were. I had like if 94 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 1: you're leaving anyway, it's like I don't work here anymore. 95 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: I want to say what I want. UM, you know 96 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: for me, I I know I didn't necessarily get the Vicky. 97 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 1: UM I think Vicky or anything like that. UM. It 98 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: was it was a decision that I had come come 99 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: to UM like two years prior, like I always knew 100 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: at forty, I wanted to send my retire which means 101 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: which would have meant leaving one of my bigger positions, 102 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: one of my bigger jobs, UM to make more space 103 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: and time for just Porssia and being a mom and 104 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 1: living my life off camera, so like it was definitely 105 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: my decision. And you can hear that from Andy, like 106 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: Andy Corners every time he talks to me, and it's like, 107 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: so you're coming back. Yeah, I was gonna say. I 108 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: feel like you're you got the grenda. You're on the pause. 109 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 1: I think you're pausing, but on your own terms, on 110 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: your own terms, You're just like, listen, I have this 111 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: new show. I have so much going on, because you 112 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,599 Speaker 1: have so much going on in your life, so much, 113 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: and then it's like it takes a lot of time. 114 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: It does take a lot. It's it's possible. I'm just 115 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: doing what feels natural to me right now, and I'm 116 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: saying yes to whatever Porsche um. You know, it was 117 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,919 Speaker 1: ever laid on my heart, and it was laid on 118 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: my heart to walk away for for a while. And 119 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: how have the women been since? I mean, tamer and 120 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: I have both shared like for me since all of 121 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: the Beverly Hills girl, we all still are very close. 122 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: We talk all the time. And Tamarra and and oh Cee, 123 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: like those girls are like cutthroat, they're not talking like 124 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: she had completely turned her back. I talked to a 125 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: couple of them but most of them are really brutal. 126 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 1: They just want to be the one that's on the longest. 127 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: And I, you know, Bicky and I were on the 128 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: longest and we both left at the same time. And 129 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 1: like you, two years prior, I was like, you know what, 130 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: it's time for me to move on. I could feel it, 131 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 1: you know, and I knew that Brabl could feel it too, 132 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: because I was kind of holding back. I was not 133 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 1: to being the tamera that I used to be, and 134 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: I just I was, you know, like, you're more protective 135 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: of you more. Yeah, I want to protect your peace. 136 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: It is certain things that don't want to be a 137 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: part of anymore. And you know, I'm sure that's you know, 138 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: what you probably were going through. And for me, at 139 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: the end of the day, you know, when someone doesn't 140 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: hasn't liked you for years on the show and you 141 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: leave the show, you're not They're not all of a 142 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: sudden gonna become your friend, right what it is we 143 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: never talked, We're still not gonna talk. And that's just 144 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: you know, they're gonna give you some fake well wishes 145 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: and that's gonna be that right now. Who are you 146 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: still close with? True love? Drew of course, Shamia is 147 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: my best fie for life. You know, Um, Candy, I 148 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: see her here and there, so you know, we're in Atlanta. 149 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: You know, she and I you know, come in contact 150 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: and stuff. So but the other girls we just did 151 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: not have. We didn't end the show having that relationship. 152 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,559 Speaker 1: About Phedra Are you friends with pedra um from Afar? 153 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: I just never, I just I just asked, because I 154 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: just did the All Star show with Phedre and I 155 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: totally fell in love with her. How fun was that? 156 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: I pot job killed it. Now that that's the one 157 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: I can't wait for. Yeah, I'm gonna say you're gonna 158 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: be on it real soon. Well, yeah, you tweeted back 159 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: before the pandemic that you and Giselle We're gonna be 160 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: on Real Housewives Girls Trip. What ended up happening with that? Yeah, 161 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: when they came up with the concept, we were the 162 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: first ones that they asked to be on the show. 163 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: But you know it was during quarantine. We had travel 164 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: restrictions and um all of that. And then when it 165 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: came back around to actually happen, Gizelle and I were 166 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: booked and busy doing chat room and doing some other things. 167 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: I was doing some other things. So, um, we looked 168 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: to revisit it in the future, but yeah, it was 169 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: It was definitely talked about. Have you been watching. No, 170 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: it's really good. It's very refreshing, It really is, because 171 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: you think, I could see how it could be for 172 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: fans for sure. I mean, they don't know what's gonna 173 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: happen with Atlanta, so they're just thirsty for you know, 174 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: trying to trying to see that dynamic again. So I 175 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: could see how it could be fun for fans. And 176 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: you're seeing a different side to all the girls too, 177 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: which I think is fun about this because you when 178 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: when you watch the actual city, you see you know, 179 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: you see that one side that they want you to see, 180 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: and then here you're breaking the fourth wall. Everybody's it 181 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: is crazy. There's cameras everywhere. There's cameras in the hallways 182 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: that rotate they I mean, there's cameras. The only place 183 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: that safe is in your bedroom, in your bathroom. That 184 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: is it. So it's basically like any other trip we 185 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 1: take on Housewives, Yes, but eight to nine days long, 186 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: and it's just it's overwhelming. You get to the point 187 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: where you are I want to go home. On Atlanta trips. 188 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: Are they filming you like, are there permanent cameras up 189 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,839 Speaker 1: because Beverly Hills we never had that. Yes, yes, we 190 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: ended up towards the end, we ended up having cameras up, 191 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 1: you know, like all the time or whatever. So but 192 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: you know, that's why when I wrote my book, I 193 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: had to talk about Housewives. You know we're talking about 194 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 1: it now, been on the show ten years. How could 195 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: you write a book about your life and not involved 196 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: such a big part of it involved the and talk 197 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: about the relationships. And since uh, it's my memoir, I 198 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: do break the fourth while I do talk about a 199 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: lot that I love for me off camera in my book. 200 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: So so I I already downloaded the audiobook and I 201 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: started listening to it last night. It's it's really great. 202 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: I'm already hooked. Um. And we do this thing where 203 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: we do like rapid fire questions through our Instagram, and 204 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: I was flooded with questions for you first and foremost. 205 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: They everybody wants to know if you're gonna have more kids. Yes, 206 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: that was one of my questions. That was one of 207 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: your questions. Yes, you voted into my Instagram. No, PG 208 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: is so pretty like you have to, you know too. 209 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: That is definitely the time when you start thinking, wow, 210 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: she needs a little sister to kinda so that she 211 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: can go ahead and be a big sister or a brother. Yeah, 212 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 1: or brother. She's like, I can see I could looking 213 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 1: at her too. I can see why a lot of 214 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: families start to have their second child at two years old, 215 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: for sure, because it's like they grow so bad, and 216 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: it's easier to have to than it is one because 217 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: then they can have more than that. My fience has kids, 218 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: so we have kids running around how older house? Yeah, 219 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: he has a leven year old to year old. Yeah, 220 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:27,080 Speaker 1: we've got kids in the house already, because I have 221 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: to give you one, you know, mom thing it's it's 222 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 1: not actually the terrible twos, it's the terrible three three. 223 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: So whoever tells you to is the worst is no. 224 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,719 Speaker 1: Once they can fully speak and tell you what they 225 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: want and get into everything, it's so much harder. So 226 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: that's why, like around eighteen months to two, you're like, oh, 227 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: I'm feeling like I can do this again. I want 228 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: to do one right, You're like, I want a new one. Yeah, 229 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, black you had three 230 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: and You're like all the terrific too, because I'm trying 231 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: to speak positivity, trying to speak terrific into those tear 232 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 1: r days. It works sometimes and some day some days 233 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: it's just terrible. And we also we've been watching Porsche's 234 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: Family Matters, the series. I'm loving it, and we have 235 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: to ask some questions about Simon, Okay, because you know 236 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: I'm married to Simon. It didn't work out very well. 237 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: Oh you Simon my second second? Okay, Africot, I'm on 238 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: my third now, not right, I'm on my second. Sometimes 239 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: it takes, you know, a little bit of time to 240 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: figure it out. This will be my second. Yeah, Simon's 241 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: I learned my second in my third ring? Third ring? 242 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 1: Did you do you keep the rings? How does that work? 243 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 1: You read my mind? And y'all know you do not 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: keep an engagement ring. I don't know. I wouldn't get 245 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,839 Speaker 1: a god and say I asked, you can't. They can 246 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: actually take you to court and and sue you for 247 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: the ring back because you didn't fulfill the promise. So 248 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: did Dennis ask for his ring back? I gave it back. 249 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: Oh you gave it back voluntarily? Yeah, I think I 250 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: would have held hunt it depends it's the guy didn't like. 251 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: In Dennis's case, I don't know that I would give 252 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: it back because he's the one that that messed up. 253 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: Traditionally you give it back. That's all I know. You 254 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: are not so sweet. I am sweet and are sweet. 255 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: You know when I when I met you, you were son. 256 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: I tell people this all the time and every time 257 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,839 Speaker 1: your name is mentioned about Housepit whatever. When we did 258 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: five or one, I was so like nervous to meet 259 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: you because obviously I had seen you on the show, 260 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 1: and then I met you. You were so nice, so sweet, 261 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: fixing my outfit, telling me my booty look good like 262 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 1: it did look good all your body. Remember we were 263 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,719 Speaker 1: on that set. I had just had p J, yes, 264 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 1: like five courses on. I had just had her like 265 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 1: three months before doing that whole video shoot. We were 266 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,439 Speaker 1: like Britney Spears and Beyonce out there. That was a 267 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: big production. You guys look taught. You gotta do a 268 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: little thrill back to it. I came out, are you 269 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: having fun doing the new show? You know what I'm 270 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 1: I'm glad that it is taped and it is done. Okay, 271 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: Like how many episodes? It was a lot I don't 272 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: have the total number. It really was a lot, to 273 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: be honest with you, you know, like my family is raw. 274 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: They love, we love hard. We tell it like it is, 275 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 1: and they didn't curb anything for the cameras. It still 276 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: was what it was. But I feel like your family 277 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: was meant for TV, just like me. Yeah. I feel 278 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: like this is gonna be like the new show. Yeah. 279 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: People people see where I get it from. Like I 280 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: think people can see my personality and a lot different people. 281 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: Like my grandmother is shady, she's straight up. She says 282 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: like it is. You know. My aunt is super funny. 283 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: One of my little cousins is goofy and says crazy 284 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 1: stuff like me. You know, so you get to it's 285 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: it's like it's like me time ten. Yeah, well I 286 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 1: started live thing. When they ask you, they're like, how 287 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: did you guys start talking? How did you and Simon 288 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: start talking? And you're like, well, he slid into my dams. 289 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: But let me know if he says something else, and 290 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: then they pan to him and he's like, well she 291 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: was damning me. So what is everything? Is the truth? Everything? 292 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 1: It's all together, listen. That's why I said in my 293 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 1: interview when they asked me, I'm like, what did he say? Like, 294 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 1: you know, what did he say? Or whatever? You know, 295 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: it's just crazy, like when you're doing your interview, you 296 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: have no idea what the next family member is saying, 297 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: what they're doing. You have no idea and they just 298 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 1: get what they get. Yeah, it was great, but but 299 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: who slid into the d M s first? We gotta 300 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: know that part I did? I said it five? Yeah, yeah, 301 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 1: you were. You were just checking on him? Yeah, exactly, 302 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: you're being a nice, nice friend. I was. I was 303 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: telling him that I hate he was going to through that. 304 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I know what hert ape is. I've been 305 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: ache and I've been through publicly. It's not easy. No, yeah, 306 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: I don't all and then um he also I feel 307 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: like I go through this with my husband all the 308 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 1: time too, about the posting without permission always like I 309 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: tamer and I even d M the other day because 310 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: she posted a picture of me. Was my eye like 311 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: that's how that's how I know. And the thing is 312 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: that I did it on the way home and my 313 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: eyesights so bad, and I have my readers on and 314 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: I was trying. I was, I was concentrating on Cheryl 315 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: Burke who closed your eyes in every picture, so I 316 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 1: kept trying to find it and we had like ten 317 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: of the same picture. I'm like, oh, here's what my 318 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: Chryl's eyes open and I post. I'm like, oh shit, 319 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: these guys are closed. She just made you take on 320 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: for the team. I'm fine with eyes closed, but there's 321 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: certain things that I don't like post it. And so 322 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: I'm kind of the same with my husband. And I 323 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: know people are like, you can't control what your husband does, 324 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 1: but I'm like, no, if you're gonna post, you should 325 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 1: approve by me or like most one that I've already posted. Yeah, 326 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: I mean most women have to monitor their husband's when 327 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: they post. I mean, we we love the perfect picture 328 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: and they just think we're perfect, so it doesn't matter 329 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,679 Speaker 1: what we look like. They're like, oh, you look so sweet, 330 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,159 Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, hair, it's crazy my wig. I 331 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: don't have concealer on, Like, I don't like the angle, 332 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: you know, and you're ready to show the top right, 333 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: are you gonna show us how's it look right now? 334 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: The same as it does on that picture. I don't 335 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 1: watch pors your family matters. And then what is the 336 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: biggest takeaway from writing a book that you've learned about yourself. 337 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,160 Speaker 1: That I was able to do it. I never thought 338 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: I was gonna be able to speak about a lot 339 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: of different, you know, hard things in my life. It 340 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: was it was great adding all the fun things and 341 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 1: I have a lot of great family moments in there 342 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: with my dad and with my mom and just the highs. 343 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: But talking about your loads. A lot of people want 344 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 1: to forget those things, but all of it makes you 345 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: who you are. So once I got finished with the 346 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: audioble and having read it all out loud in one 347 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: in the in the sittings, it was like, Wow, I'm 348 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: a survivor and I'm actually on the other side and 349 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: I'm here and I made it, and look how good 350 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 1: God is after I after I got finished, that is 351 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: that was the overwhelming feeling that I had. And what's 352 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,719 Speaker 1: the most common misconception people have about you? I don't know. 353 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: There's so many I mean comments, I don't I don't know. 354 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: Um To be honest with you, I think I really 355 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: these days in my life. And you guys will probably 356 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 1: noticed this about yours now that you're not on the show. 357 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,879 Speaker 1: I have the the ability that just focused on the 358 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 1: positive so people who want to know about me, people 359 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,160 Speaker 1: who follow me, who want to know my journey, who 360 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,640 Speaker 1: want to know me deeper, who are supporters of me. 361 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 1: Those are the people I focus on, and those are 362 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 1: the people who this book is for, because they're gonna 363 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: be able to receive the message and not just the headline. Um. 364 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,639 Speaker 1: You have to go beyond that. The book is about 365 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: so much, and so I don't really focus on naysayers 366 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 1: or what someone doesn't understand, because if you don't understand 367 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: me after reading the Pursuit of Porsche, you just don't 368 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,159 Speaker 1: like me, or you just don't want to know me. 369 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: Because I really put my heart out there in order 370 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 1: to help someone else, my testimony, to end my testimony 371 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: out there in order to help someone else through their 372 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 1: pain and and find their power and purpose. Did I 373 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: read that you had to talk to your mom first 374 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: before you were going to write this book. I have 375 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: why because I admired my mom so much, and like 376 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: I live for my mom, like I just I looked 377 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: up I look up to her so much. I didn't 378 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: want to disappoint her with a lot of the things 379 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: that I put in the book because I had not 380 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 1: told her then before I haven't said a lot of 381 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: those things to her, and I just wanted permission to 382 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: be that open and I didn't. I wasn't detailed when 383 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 1: I asked about what I was putting. I just asked 384 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: her was it all right? And she said yes, and 385 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: I didn't. How long did it take you to write 386 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: at over a year over year? And did you write 387 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 1: it during the pandemic? Yes. I began the process during 388 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 1: the pandemic. It was really a moment where, you know, 389 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 1: the first part of the pandemic was really just about 390 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 1: Dennis and I in the house with p J, just like, 391 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's being so close. But then after 392 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: the fun part, you realized I'm really locked in this 393 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: house just me, you know. I really started self reflecting 394 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: and kind of diving in and just taking account of 395 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 1: my whole life and I was like, wow, I've been 396 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: through so much. And then I was approached about writing 397 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 1: a book and I was like, this is the perfect 398 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: place to put all of this um And it turned 399 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 1: into a very long therapy session. So that's pretty much 400 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: what you're reading me about are the notes from my therapy. 401 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 1: How is co parenting going? I have UM an amazing 402 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: bonus daughter stepdaughter with my with Edwin. When I met him, 403 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 1: he had a baby, Isabella, who honestly changed my life 404 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: meeting her. I never even knew I wanted to be 405 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: a mom until I met her, and so I just 406 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,439 Speaker 1: learning as i've I've gone along. I'm like, how we 407 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: can all co parent together and make it all about 408 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 1: Isabella has been such like, you know, such a learning 409 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: curve and always keeping it positive. What's been like the 410 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: highs and the hardest part of that. Um, you know, 411 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: communication is key when it comes to co parenting and 412 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 1: doing Porsche, of doing my show Porsche's Family Matters, I 413 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: realized that my communication with my co parents wasn't the 414 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: same as how he actually felt. So, um, I was 415 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: shocked at a lot went on the show and you 416 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: can see that, like as he's talking about his perspective 417 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,159 Speaker 1: on everything, or how he feels about me as a 418 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 1: co parent. All of that was a shock to me 419 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 1: in front of the camera because um, I thought we 420 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: had this perfect, you know, transition into family member and 421 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,359 Speaker 1: family member as opposed to romantic relationship, when actually he 422 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 1: was still still feeling some type of romantic feeling. So 423 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: I was confused by that, and so yeah, I'm and 424 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: I'm and I figured it all out on camera, which 425 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 1: is crazy. Um, look, I think it goes with how 426 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 1: my life is. All of it happens on camera. I 427 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: come to the realization of what I'm actually dealing with 428 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 1: during that show. Wow. Yeah, I really like the fact 429 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: that you are still close with Donnas and he can 430 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 1: still come around, and he can still that your daughter 431 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 1: can still to you guys together even though you're not together. 432 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 1: And for me, that was something I really wanted with 433 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: my ex Simon. Yeah, and um, he didn't want any 434 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 1: part of it. And I feel like it really hurts 435 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,400 Speaker 1: the kids when they why. It really puts a big 436 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 1: division in the family, and the kids feel like they're 437 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,120 Speaker 1: being pulled from side to side when it happens like that. 438 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: I think that's where we are now, unfortunately, oh no, 439 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: which we have to figure out how we're going to 440 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: really make this happen. Um, you're gonna see how we 441 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: got to this place. It's it's not a bad place 442 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 1: to be in. It's just the place where we just 443 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 1: have to recalibrate and um, come to terms and figure 444 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: out what that new blending situation will look like, because 445 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: it looks differ from being a single woman to now 446 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: having it looks completely different. You know they're but just 447 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: being able to do Christmas together and things like that 448 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,959 Speaker 1: is so important to the kids. And I can tell 449 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 1: you it goes up and down, like I was in 450 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,200 Speaker 1: a really good place with my ex and then add 451 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,639 Speaker 1: one than a good one, Like you know, I have 452 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 1: to say from coming from parents that worn't together, I 453 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: appreciate the fact that they didn't spend holidays together. I 454 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:12,440 Speaker 1: appreciate the fact like it was separate because if not, 455 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: you're trying so hard to be everything to everybody, Please 456 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: both sides and make sure both people are happy that 457 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 1: you can't actually enjoy your holidays. My biggest piece of 458 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: advice is like set your boundaries, set what works for you, 459 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: that went to plan ahead, Like like even I hated 460 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 1: when my parents came to the agreement of like, Okay, 461 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 1: you get Christmas and you get Christmas eves, Like I 462 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 1: was like, no, I want bigger chunks of time so 463 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: I can enjoy that family at that time. I don't 464 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 1: want to feel like I'm being ripped back and forth 465 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 1: and having to talk about what I did with the 466 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,679 Speaker 1: other ones, because it's so confusing as a child for me. 467 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: But when they'd be like, Oh, you're gonna be a 468 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: week here, a week there, You'll have New Year's with 469 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: mom and Christmas with Dad, I was able to like 470 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: start embracing the lifestyle at each home versus feeling like 471 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to keep the peace. Yeah, so little that, Um, 472 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 1: you just blessed me with that because I think I mean, 473 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: as a mom and I'm sure him as a dad, 474 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,640 Speaker 1: that's our number one concern is how this will affect 475 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 1: her and you speaking is would be an older polarity. 476 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: You would bet that's the experience she would have. So 477 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: that really blessed me to know that that would be 478 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 1: a better way to do it for her. Um. And honestly, 479 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: I grew up the same way. My parents divorced when 480 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 1: I was two. Um, but you forget about that because 481 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 1: you know we knew age parents think we can't create 482 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: or or fix the will if it's all listen, it 483 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: is what it is. There's a reason, it's a reason 484 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: that it didn't work. But I do appreciate you sharing 485 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 1: that because, UM, I think that's that's that's what I was, 486 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: That's what was pulling me so much during the show. 487 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 1: That's why you you That's why it kind of looks 488 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: like I'm still in love within us on the show, 489 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: because I'm honestly, I'm so focused on polar needs her 490 00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 1: family together that I'm forgetting that I am now, you know, 491 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 1: and it has to look different. She's gonna have two 492 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 1: different households. It is what it is. Yeah, But I 493 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: think that women that are going through that are totally 494 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: going to relate to that, and they're gonna look up 495 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: to you and go, oh my god, she's trying so 496 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: hard to have a good relationship with her X. Doesn't 497 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 1: mean you have to spend every single holiday with him 498 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: or whatever, but just in a good relationship where you 499 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 1: you honor him and you let your daughter know that 500 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 1: you know this is your dad, and we have a 501 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,199 Speaker 1: good relationship, so much better for her. And and like 502 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,360 Speaker 1: you just said, I have to trust that I've done 503 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: that because her relationship with him now is she's too 504 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,679 Speaker 1: and she's obsessed with her dad. That is because of 505 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: our good co parenting. That's because we both put her 506 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 1: ahead of our feelings. And when we were piste, I 507 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 1: didn't care that I was pissing him. You still come 508 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 1: to the house and pick her up. Still come to 509 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,199 Speaker 1: the house and see her what we made her priorities. 510 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,199 Speaker 1: So you have to trust what you've done as a 511 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: parent moving forward to and lean on that. And his 512 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: mom scares me. Yeah, I'm gonna just keep her in 513 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: prayer because I think I prayed for her last night. Child. 514 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I think the biggest thing is and what 515 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 1: what parents tend to do is they will talk about 516 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 1: the other parent to the child. And I remember something 517 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: that would drive me crazy. This just I know, you 518 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 1: have to go, but just one little piece, Like my 519 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,439 Speaker 1: parents when they were mad at me, would call me 520 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: like little John or a little Vicky, and I would 521 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: build up this resentment that they would do it because 522 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: they would see, of course you're very common. And it's 523 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: still something to this day that if they do it, 524 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: I immediately go back to that little girl where I 525 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: like start panicking. So like that's the one thing, like 526 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: no matter where it goes, because it's gonna go fifty 527 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,639 Speaker 1: different places from here. Yeah. I always say, love your 528 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: child more than you hate your ex. That's all you 529 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: have to do. Yeah, But you know, my mom and 530 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: dad honestly did such a great job of co parenting. 531 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: They really did. Um. She never talked about I had 532 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 1: a stepmom. She never talked about my stepmom in front 533 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,640 Speaker 1: of me. She always, you know, if it was time 534 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: to go to my dad's, even if she just cursed 535 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,879 Speaker 1: them out, it was like, Daddy's here, and I'm like, 536 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: you know, But she never showed me any of that. 537 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: And that's the practice I have with Pollar and her 538 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: dad because I hurt full times in the beginning of 539 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: our relationship. I could have put all that into her, 540 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 1: but I didn't. And um, and it's gonna bless her 541 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: in the future. She's not gonna feel And I know 542 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: we just have time for one last question, but what 543 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,199 Speaker 1: would you get to somebody who has been cheated on, 544 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 1: to somebody who has been hurt? What's your biggest piece 545 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: of advice to them who like they have that resentment 546 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 1: and the anger and they're having a hard time moving on, Um, 547 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: just go through the process. It's not gonna happen overnight. 548 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: It took me, you know, going through postpartum and almost 549 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 1: a year after to fully move on UM. And at 550 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 1: the end of it, I just realized I just had 551 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: to choose me, you know, period. I just had to 552 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: choose my mental health, my happiness out of that situation. 553 00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: And you know know that just because that person aid, 554 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: you know, did something to you or I want to stay, 555 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 1: make a mistake, I hate calling a mistake, but was 556 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 1: not perfect in that way. It doesn't even mean they're 557 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,959 Speaker 1: a bad person. It just means that they don't need 558 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: to be with you. They didn't see you, they didn't 559 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,720 Speaker 1: value you. And you want to always get in a 560 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: relationship where they actually are coming in intentional and want 561 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 1: to be with you and do right by you. Um 562 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: and and that's okay, people, he that person has to grow, 563 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 1: like anybody cheats on you, they're just not in a 564 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 1: place to be in a relationship. That's the only thing 565 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: we can take from it. And then people, that's such 566 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 1: good advice. Thank you so much for joining us, Thank 567 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: you for having me, and congratulations. You guys have to 568 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 1: get the book and you need to be tuning in 569 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 1: to the family. It is so good. Thank you, Thanks 570 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: for seeing you again. You tell you too. Let's you're 571 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 1: a throwback soon. Yeah, thank you so much for tuning 572 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: in too. To teas in a pod today. It was 573 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: so exciting to have poor Shaw. I love her so much. 574 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: You have to buy her book and watch her new show. 575 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 1: It is so good. Um Porsche's family matters like she 576 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: goes deep and she shows a lot. So you guys 577 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 1: send in your questions. We have well, I have no, 578 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: we have a ton of opinions. That wasn't even loud enough. 579 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,239 Speaker 1: We love you, Thank you so much for joining us, 580 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: and keep tuning it.