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Speaker 1: Hey guys, Welcome back to this week's episode of the

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Speaker 1: Professional Homegirl podcast. I am your host, Ebanez, and on

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Speaker 1: this week's episode, my guests emailed me wanting to share

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Speaker 1: her story of being a twenty three year old woman

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Speaker 1: having children with a married man. Now, I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: This conversation actually broke my heart because I can see

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Speaker 1: the pain and regret this young woman is experiencing. Now,

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Speaker 1: I am not saying that I agree with her actions,

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Speaker 1: but I do think it's important that we be the

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Speaker 1: big sister or brother to individuals in her situation or

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Speaker 1: any situation that we, including myself, need a niggas to

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Speaker 1: be for us in our fucked up situations because, as

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Speaker 1: we all know, sometimes your worst decision is your only decision. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we discuss a while range of topics, including today's music, friendships,

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Speaker 1: and the lack of support that have shaped her decision

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Speaker 1: making process. I hope y'all enjoyed this week's episode. I

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Speaker 1: had children with a married man starting now. So to

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Speaker 1: my guests, thank you so much for being on the show.

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Speaker 1: How you doing, How you feeling?

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Speaker 2: I'm good, just a little tired, you know, working, but

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Speaker 2: am wrong? I'm Okay, I'm okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: You know what you look like?

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Speaker 2: Cool?

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Speaker 1: Who they tell you you look like.

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Speaker 2: Without being pregnant. I've got Brandy before. Don't really see it.

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Speaker 1: You're given some of Walker.

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Speaker 2: I'm a Walker. I think got my face so fat?

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Speaker 2: Right now?

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Speaker 1: No, it's Walker's pretty. I'll like that's my girl.

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Speaker 2: She's beautiful, don't get me wrong. Yeah, I take it

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Speaker 2: as a compliment, So I'm gonna say thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I love some of Walker. Now, you were

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Speaker 1: someone that wrote into the show. Show you want to

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Speaker 1: share your story. So I really do appreciate you being

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Speaker 1: honest and transparent because I do agree with you that

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Speaker 1: this is a conversation that needs to be had on

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Speaker 1: a regular basis. So I appreciate you for one to

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Speaker 1: come to the show and share your story. Were you scared?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And then I think I also did it because

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Speaker 2: when I do come clean with my family, like my

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Speaker 2: whole courtesy, anyone know what's going on. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to talk to them. Just listen to the podcast, right right,

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Speaker 2: you know the whole rundown or what happened?

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Speaker 1: All right? But you know, I know you a little

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Speaker 1: bit younger than me, so I'm gonna handle you with care.

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Speaker 2: You can ask anything.

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Speaker 1: No, no, I'm an ask anything. But I want to be mindful,

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Speaker 1: especially to the listeners, because I feel like when people

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Speaker 1: see titles sometimes people are quick to judge or assume.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want you to, you know, feel uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: or anything, because this is a safe space and I

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Speaker 1: want you to be able to get your story out

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Speaker 1: as fully and as honest as possible. Now, how do

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Speaker 1: you think societal norms and expectations and influence the way

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Speaker 1: people view fidelity and relationships.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that's one of the biggest ways that

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Speaker 2: relationships are influenced nowadays, especially with me growing up, because

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Speaker 2: I started the big relationships when I was nineteen. That's

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Speaker 2: not my first major relationship with an older guy. And

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Speaker 2: you know, now nowadays, we're not looking for a little

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Speaker 2: bit more. We're people are looking for what this money

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Speaker 2: or just sex or just no one's really looking for love.

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Speaker 2: And this was being promoted though, right, you know.

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Speaker 1: And how old are you now?

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty three. Now I'll be twenty four.

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Speaker 1: And than the second oh what happy early birthday? Are

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Speaker 1: you excited?

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Speaker 2: I mean this the second year I'm pregnant on my birthday.

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Speaker 1: Now, In what ways do you believe social media has

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Speaker 1: impacted the dynamics of relationships and infidelity because you grew

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Speaker 1: up on social media pretty much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like I said, what you the things

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Speaker 2: that you see, the things being posted being broadcasted, you know,

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Speaker 2: uh people like nowadays, people are posting, Oh, I want

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Speaker 2: a nigga with money, So you know, I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's what I want. Because like I remember me and

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Speaker 2: my best friend, we were both we just tired teens.

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Speaker 2: City girls came out and we were like they were

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Speaker 2: saying about fucking get some money something like that. Somebody

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Speaker 2: was saying about get some money from niggas. Were like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna start getting money from there. This when we

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Speaker 2: first like we're finna start really using these niggas. Like

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Speaker 2: social media and music has a big impact during the

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Speaker 2: young generation.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like artists should be held accountable for this,

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Speaker 1: because I do feel like music has definitely encouraged a

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Speaker 1: lot of different behavior from everyone, including myself. I yes

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Speaker 1: and no, because I feel like that's where people who

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Speaker 1: have a strong mindset comes in. Like if you can

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Speaker 1: listen to music all day, but if you have a

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Speaker 1: strong mindset and you don't let it influence you.

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Speaker 2: You know, this is all you hear, is all you see, right,

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Speaker 2: So it's like you're not hearing anything different. It's just

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Speaker 2: like you're just going with the flow. You're just going

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Speaker 2: with society norms. Right.

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Speaker 1: So in the email you sent me, you said that

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of people who don't have morals,

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Speaker 1: So how would you describe your personal moral code or

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Speaker 1: set of values?

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Speaker 2: I was. I ain't gonna say I didn't have morals.

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Speaker 2: I've always been like very good hearted, very kind, like

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Speaker 2: I'm a really I try to be. I'm naturally a

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Speaker 2: good person, you know, Like it's people that's naturally mean

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Speaker 2: and just naturally just you know, I'm naturally that person.

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Speaker 2: But other than that, like I was, when it comes

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Speaker 2: to well in the relationship, when it comes to relationships,

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Speaker 2: my morals just kind of Oh, it's kind of hard

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Speaker 2: to describe because I'm loyal, But then I'm I'm not

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Speaker 2: than I am. I'm like, so, how are you in relationships?

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Speaker 2: I've always stated people much older than me, And what's

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Speaker 2: much older? Oh, I was nineteen in my first real relationship.

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Speaker 2: Like I don't say real, but my first like major

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Speaker 2: relationship where we moved in together. It was with a

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Speaker 2: thirty three year old how was that? It started all

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Speaker 2: really good? But then it's time abusive? Their abuseive, I manipulative,

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Speaker 2: and I stayed with him for like two and a

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Speaker 2: half years because I didn't really have nowhere else to go.

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Speaker 2: I was living with him, and then I broke it

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Speaker 2: off because it was too much.

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Speaker 1: And where was your family at? Like are they do

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Speaker 1: you not have a good relationship with your family?

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Speaker 2: I do, but everybody else have their own, like like

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Speaker 2: everybody going through stuff.

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Speaker 1: Right, So how did you meet this guy that you

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Speaker 1: have your children with? Because right now I can see

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Speaker 1: that you're expecting a baby, right, yeah, and you expecting him?

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Speaker 2: Yeah I am. I am. We have another son eight

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Speaker 2: month old together, And that's actually I met him getting

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Speaker 2: out of that relationship. So I was kind of very

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Speaker 2: vulnerable at the time, you know. When I met him,

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Speaker 2: me and my age were probably like we had probably

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Speaker 2: he we were still living together, but I was telling

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Speaker 2: him was he had moved in with me because I

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Speaker 2: got my own place. At the time, I was younger, dumb,

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Speaker 2: so I'm like, okay, you can come move with me.

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Speaker 2: So we were really just breaking up, like it was

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Speaker 2: probably like a week or two weeks after we broke up,

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Speaker 2: not up meeting my child's father now, and that was

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Speaker 2: at work.

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Speaker 1: An wait, so you have two kids with him or three?

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Speaker 2: I have three kids total, but two kids with.

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Speaker 1: My child's father now, oh okay, and the last kids

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Speaker 1: with your ex this.

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Speaker 2: Is the second baby back. No, that was I was sixteen.

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Speaker 1: I got prittant, why are you like, oh, the men, It's.

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Speaker 2: Not even that, it's just like I don't even be

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Speaker 2: knowing an age like you know, when I was nineteen,

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Speaker 2: I thought my ex was twenty five. But it's just

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Speaker 2: like I didn't know he was thirty three. I had

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Speaker 2: found out on my own when I went through his phone.

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Speaker 1: He didn't tell you.

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Speaker 2: He didn't tell me. He never saw me his age, Like,

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Speaker 2: he wouldn't say nothing. He was like, you'll find out.

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Speaker 2: And then after I found out, like months later, I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, well, like I like him so.

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Speaker 1: But you didn't think that that was kind of weird

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Speaker 1: though not.

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Speaker 2: At the time. He was doing like everything for me

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Speaker 2: so right, So at the time I didn't care, and

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Speaker 2: I think it's weird like now, But then I didn't

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Speaker 2: and he didn't look his age.

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Speaker 1: So and what does your dad say about him?

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Speaker 2: My dad is, I stay with my grandparents and my

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Speaker 2: grand my granddad died when I was seventeen.

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Speaker 1: Mmm, so you don't really have a relationship with your

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Speaker 1: mom and dad.

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Speaker 2: My mom is she's schizophrenic, cul cool. She battled in

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Speaker 2: a lot of demons in My dad he the same way.

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Speaker 1: Now, I tell you, listen, I know exactly how it

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Speaker 1: feels to try to figure things out when you ain't

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Speaker 1: really got the support that you need. So sometimes the best,

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Speaker 1: the worst decision that everybody think it is that they

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Speaker 1: think is the worst decision. Sometimes your only decision and

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Speaker 1: it's the best decision at that moment. So I totally

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Speaker 1: understand what it feels like to, you know, do what

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Speaker 1: you gotta do.

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Speaker 2: And I can't talk to my grandma because she's really

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Speaker 2: religious and strict, and then she just well the Bible

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Speaker 2: says and all this. You don't want to hear that

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Speaker 2: all the time, Like I don't want she gonna she's

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Speaker 2: gonna make you feel bad about it.

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Speaker 1: Like right, So, how old is the father of your kids?

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Speaker 2: Now? He is thirty seven.

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Speaker 1: And you he was your supervisor at work, So how

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Speaker 1: did that relationship start. Well, actually he was my trainer,

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Speaker 1: so he was training me at work and uh, and

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Speaker 1: he asked my number. He was like, if you need

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Speaker 1: any questions because the work I was I was working

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Speaker 1: at a very physical, hard job.

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Speaker 2: The money is really really good, right, So he was like,

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Speaker 2: like training. He started texting me like hey beautiful. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this is just for work, but and you just started

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Speaker 2: texting and devils and the crazy thing. He wasn't really

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Speaker 2: like my type.

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Speaker 1: He was just me the ones, the ones who ain't

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Speaker 1: never your tight.

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Speaker 2: He was laying back and he was cool, and everybody

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Speaker 2: thought I want him for what he had. I didn't

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Speaker 2: even know what he had at the time.

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Speaker 1: And what did he have.

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Speaker 2: He had a nice car, he had like a little Corvette,

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Speaker 2: big monster truck, and I didn't know he had all

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Speaker 2: that when I first met him, Like I had no clue.

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Speaker 2: So everybody at work was like, sho, don't be talking

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Speaker 2: to you for your money for your car where I'm like, no.

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Speaker 1: Did you just want to mess with him to mess

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Speaker 1: with him or did you see like a future.

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Speaker 2: With him now? I never seen the future with him.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to mess with him because I was

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Speaker 2: getting out of relationship and I just want to have fun,

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Speaker 2: like I've been with my ex through almost three years,

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Speaker 2: and I was just so done and ready to just

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Speaker 2: move on and have fun.

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Speaker 1: Right, So when did people started to catch on with

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Speaker 1: about y'all at work? Because did y'all get fired because

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Speaker 1: of the situation?

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Speaker 2: No, we got fired for clocking each other in child

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Speaker 2: no time stealing and he blamed me to this day,

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Speaker 2: But it was him who taught me to do it first.

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Speaker 2: He told me to clocking me in one day and

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was scared. He was like, we

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Speaker 2: ain't gonna get caught as long getting nobody to see you.

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Speaker 2: Somebody had to tail for us to get caught. But

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Speaker 2: everybody knew we was talking, Like everybody at work knew

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Speaker 2: we were.

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Speaker 1: Talking, right, We were all like flirting networking shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he was really flirty. We're both were just really flirty,

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Speaker 2: like we both were. And I didn't even know he

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Speaker 2: was married at the time, like this after we had

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Speaker 2: had six So at the moment, I was like digmatizical

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Speaker 2: bit so and obviously he was too because okay, it

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Speaker 2: was only so you would have thought we was in

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Speaker 2: a relationship for a year a where we were on

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Speaker 2: each other at work.

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Speaker 1: And he was up for a promotion, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he was finna. Yeah, they just promoted him to

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Speaker 2: a manager position and we were supposed to apply to

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Speaker 2: North Carolina to train.

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Speaker 1: And he making one hundred and fifty k.

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Speaker 2: Yepyh.

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Speaker 1: I need to get a job there.

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Speaker 2: Shit, it's hard. No, you don't. You don't want you

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Speaker 2: want a man that works there, but you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Let me not, but no, because I'm saying, like the

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Speaker 1: cost of living, like y'all are in the South, So

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Speaker 1: one hundred fifty k, two hundred k is that's a

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Speaker 1: that's a really decent salary.

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Speaker 2: He had a lifestyle that most guys dream of having

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Speaker 2: and he lost it all up.

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Speaker 1: Right, So when did you find When did you find

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Speaker 1: out that he was married?

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Speaker 2: So he was selling plates at work, this nigga hustling.

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Speaker 2: I was like, he was selling weed and plates at work.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't just never thought to myself, like who's

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Speaker 2: making these plates? Like I never once thought.

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Speaker 1: What type of place like soul food place like yeah,

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Speaker 1: like pork.

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Speaker 2: Chop plates like spaghetti. I just never I never asked.

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Speaker 2: I never I never even cared who's making the place.

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Speaker 2: I just it never was a thought in my head.

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Speaker 2: Right someone at the job they were being painted that

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, wife makes some good plates. She said

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Speaker 2: it right next to me. I was like what She

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Speaker 2: was like, yeah, girl, his wife make these bomb plays

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Speaker 2: like these places are bomb. I'm like his wife. She

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Speaker 2: was like, yeah, a girl, his wife. That's when I

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Speaker 2: asked him, I'm like, you married. He was like, you

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Speaker 2: didn't know that? Everybody know I was married? WHOA Like yeah?

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Speaker 1: And how long were y'all there? Y'all were messing with

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Speaker 1: each other at this.

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Speaker 2: Point, maybe like three weeks okay, like like three weeks.

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Speaker 1: And you didn't know. It never dawned on you that

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Speaker 1: he was with someone else.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I never knew he came.

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Speaker 1: But so when would y'all see when y'all spend time

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Speaker 1: with each other.

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Speaker 2: He would come to my apartment.

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Speaker 1: Oh, but you would never go to his apartment.

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Speaker 2: So when did I go to his house? Okay? So

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Speaker 2: we started messing around after two weeks of us meeting.

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Speaker 2: So the whole timeline is he met two weeks after

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Speaker 2: we met, we started, you know, betting intimate. Then that's

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Speaker 2: when I found out he was married, Like within that

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Speaker 2: week after we started an intimate so yeah, then I

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Speaker 2: went to his house. He went to my house first,

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Speaker 2: and I went to his house, and then I seen

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Speaker 2: all the pictures on the wall his family. Yeah, a

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Speaker 2: huge five bed roomhouse, this huge kids stuff everywhere. Whites

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Speaker 2: looked at ones like wow, And how did you feel

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Speaker 2: at the moment. I'm like, at first, I I didn't

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Speaker 2: feel bad. I don't be real, I didn't feel I

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Speaker 2: didn't care at the moment because I liked the way

293
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Speaker 2: he was doing for me. Right. He was buying me

294
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Speaker 2: Jordan's and paying my bills and he was throwing me

295
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Speaker 2: like every time he got paid, he would cut me

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00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,719
Speaker 2: like five hundred dollars. Yeah, and I'm like, I like

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Speaker 2: the way he would going for me. At first, I

298
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Speaker 2: did not care at all.

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Speaker 1: What led to the decision of you having children with

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Speaker 1: him despite his marriage status? Like, was abortion the option?

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Speaker 2: Abortion was dope? No, that was the first thing on

302
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Speaker 2: my mind. I was like, oh, we all go get

303
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 2: this abortion. A sep. Three days before my appointment, the

304
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: abortion law changed, literally, so they changed it from I

305
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 2: was seven weeks went out when it was my appointment,

306
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Speaker 2: but they changed it to you had to be like

307
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Speaker 2: six weeks.

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Speaker 1: Wow, and how did you feel? I know you was pissed.

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Speaker 2: There was like, we can just go to North Carolina.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, we can go. We can go to

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Speaker 2: North Carolina and have the abortion. He was like, no,

312
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Speaker 2: he don't have so many abortions, like he was a dog.

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Speaker 2: The things he did to his wife. And he even

314
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Speaker 2: told me this, and I don't know why I did.

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Speaker 2: Never thought he could do it to me. That part,

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Speaker 2: like he one had two abortions on her why they

317
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,000
Speaker 2: were together, from two other females. So he was like

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Speaker 2: he thought, like this is a boy because he had

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Speaker 2: a lot of girls. He thinks I should just keep it.

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Speaker 2: He really loves me.

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Speaker 1: Listen, one thing about a nigga. One nigga ain't shit.

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Speaker 1: God gonna give him exactly what he loved, which is women. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he got all these girls because unfortunately man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like and I just went with it.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't have one kid at the time.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like my son was five at the moment, right,

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Speaker 2: I'm all right, are you sure you want to keep it?

328
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Speaker 2: And he was like yeah, Like but every time will

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Speaker 2: threat him like I'm gonna get abortion. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 2: abortion because I wasn't really sure and then it was

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Speaker 2: too late. I'm okay, I guess we're doing this right.

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Speaker 1: And at this point, how were you feel about him,

333
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 1: Like were you in love with him or like at

334
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Speaker 1: this point that you see a future?

335
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Speaker 2: I still I got pregnant with him. I was like,

336
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Speaker 2: what God do? Like he was at my house every day,

337
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,520
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, because me and his wife got

338
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: into it. She caught me. Yeah, she kind of calls

339
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 2: at the house one day together.

340
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Speaker 1: What you mean she kind of caught y'all at the house, Like.

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Speaker 2: She walked in when I was leaving. So we were

342
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 2: leaving and she was walking in, and he said she

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00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 2: was out of town. Now me and her getting in

344
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,960
Speaker 2: and them two got into So now he's at my

345
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,480
Speaker 2: house every day, And how you didn't.

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Speaker 1: Feel no way, Like you don't think that? Do you

347
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 1: think he was wrong?

348
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 2: Not? Then? Not? I still didn't care, not Dean. Eventually

349
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to But when he was at my house

350
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,080
Speaker 2: every day, it's like once I started to really see

351
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 2: who he is, because now I only knew him for

352
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,520
Speaker 2: a few months now, right, I did not like him

353
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Speaker 2: no more like when I was pregnant old, Oh my gosh,

354
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 2: what am I doing? Like she was so annoying, Like

355
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 2: everything he did annoying.

356
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 1: But wait, how long him and his wife were married?

357
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,760
Speaker 2: They were together for twelve year years married for two and.

358
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Speaker 1: I'm assuming they have kids? How many kids?

359
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,119
Speaker 2: They have three girls together?

360
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,399
Speaker 1: Wow? Did you ever feel like once you was pregnant,

361
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 1: because now you're pregnant with him, did you feel like

362
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,400
Speaker 1: maybe he'll have an obligation to like be with you,

363
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:23,440
Speaker 1: or like you were just over at this point.

364
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 2: Not really obligated. I don't know what I was feeling.

365
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 2: I know I was over the relationship, right, I don't know,

366
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 2: it's just once I got pregnant with him, it was

367
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 2: just like everything was fun until I got pregnant, and

368
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,120
Speaker 2: it's like everything he did annoyed me. So I don't

369
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 2: really I don't know if I've seen the future. I said.

370
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,159
Speaker 2: Everybody kept telling me, like my close friends, just you

371
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,720
Speaker 2: just pregnant. It's just your hormones. You'll get after the baby,

372
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Speaker 2: y'all gonna get y'all gonna be better.

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Speaker 1: So was he there for you throughout the pregnancy, like

374
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Speaker 1: when it was time for you to give birth?

375
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Speaker 2: And yeah, he was or we argue my entire pregnancy.

376
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 2: So but he was there. Yeah, he's still there. He's

377
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 2: still there financially.

378
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So are there any challenges of being in

379
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 1: a relationship with a married man and like you trying

380
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 1: to figure things out?

381
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,199
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, you what you put into this world is

382
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 2: what you're gonna get out of it. Like, karma is

383
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: so real. I've been and then I felt so bad,

384
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,720
Speaker 2: Like I started to really feel bad once I found

385
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 2: out they were staying with their friend. They didn't. They

386
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,920
Speaker 2: didn't because he told his wife, y'all keep the house.

387
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,640
Speaker 2: He's gonna move with me. She didn't want the house.

388
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 2: You got another one being in it. I don't want it.

389
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not the first girl to get pregnant

390
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 2: by him while they were together. I'm just don't want

391
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 2: to kept it. She's like no, So I gave up

392
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 2: my apartment and moved down with him, and it's just

393
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,119
Speaker 2: been like so much bad.

394
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,679
Speaker 1: Oh that's why you at your homegirl's house because you're

395
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 1: still living with him.

396
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's there.

397
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: You know. I went through your Instagram page and I'm

398
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm jumping the head a little bit, but I can

399
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 1: tell that this is really bothering you, and I I

400
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,439
Speaker 1: feel like you have a especially you coming from a

401
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 1: religious background with your grandmother. I feel like you have

402
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 1: a sense of who God is and you have a

403
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: strong relationship with him. So you know, how does how

404
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 1: does this make you feel? And look at yourself? Because

405
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 1: I can tell like you don't you're not comfortable with this.

406
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: I'm not like at all.

407
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 1: I take your time, but.

408
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:20,480
Speaker 3: It's getting really deep when I crossed sometimes, Okay, Okay,

409
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 3: so uh yeah, I had like a dream one day

410
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,159
Speaker 3: like I was going to hell, and I'm like, I'm

411
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,360
Speaker 3: other than me having like doing like commit adultery.

412
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,040
Speaker 2: I know, I don't really do anything else bad, like

413
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 2: I don't steal everybody's tell little white lives. But I

414
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: don't really I don't do nothing really bad, right, So

415
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 2: I'm like once I had that gym like this is wrong.

416
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 2: That's that's when they're really like, can you the dream? Okay?

417
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 2: So basically, like I was sleeping and I was in

418
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,400
Speaker 2: the house. I could we sleep in two separate rooms now,

419
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,639
Speaker 2: So I was in my room. I was sleeping and

420
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,440
Speaker 2: everything looked the same, like I'm dreaming right now. So

421
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 2: everything looks the same, but I see my I'm looking

422
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,640
Speaker 2: at and I see my body, so I think I'm dead. Right.

423
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 2: I had this dream before, even though I was pregnant,

424
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 2: So I thought I died because I'm looking at my bidom.

425
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, when did I die? But

426
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 2: next to my bike there's a newborn baby and in

427
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 2: the crib there's another baby. I'm like, whoa, this is

428
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 2: a dream. I don't have two babies. And it was

429
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:18,719
Speaker 2: a demage just pot. I know what it's saying. This

430
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 2: is not a dream, this is real. You are going

431
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: to hell. I said, wait, wait what So I thought

432
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 2: I had died again. I'm like, no, I did. Like

433
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 2: they said, no, you're not, but this is real and

434
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: you had hell and they like dragged me to hell

435
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 2: and I had like two babies still right there. And

436
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 2: I didn't even know I was pregnant again, Like I

437
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 2: just had one baby. So I'm like I kept doing

438
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 2: the urge to take a printcee taste. So a few

439
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,199
Speaker 2: weeks later, I finally just did it, and that's when

440
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: I found out was pregnant. I'm like, dang, this dream

441
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 2: was so real, Like it kind of woke me up

442
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:54,159
Speaker 2: a little bit.

443
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, they would have scared the shit out of me too.

444
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it did. Like six with him, I just want

445
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 2: old Turkey. And like when I cut off six, he

446
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 2: cut off everything financially, like everything he was doing for

447
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: me at the moment, Like he was giving me money.

448
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 2: I wasn't working, so he was giving me money weekly

449
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 2: and all that. He just cut everything off.

450
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So what is the relationship like now?

451
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: They're still pretty much saying he do more now, but

452
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 2: it's it's more bad days and good days. And because

453
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 2: I asked him, I said, can you get a divorce please?

454
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 2: If you want our relationship to work, get a divorce.

455
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 2: And he said no, he wants his wife back. The

456
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,439
Speaker 2: wife has been up there so many times. We have

457
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 2: a camera in our house and I would see his

458
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 2: wife over there, the y'all laughing, playing, the kids they playing,

459
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: and I just I feel so bad because they'd be like,

460
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 2: we missed you Dad, like because he didn't see his

461
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 2: kids for about a year.

462
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 3: Wow.

463
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: And when the wife is that, where are you at

464
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:50,959
Speaker 1: at work?

465
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? I was at yet work because she just come

466
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 2: in and there she wants check her mail. And I

467
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 2: told my baby daddy, I said, you need to change

468
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: the locks she's just coming in whenever she wants, and

469
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 2: he's like, no, I'll change when you leave because he

470
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 2: want his family back now, because I like, this is

471
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 2: the man that had everything, but he kind of lost

472
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 2: it all. We've been to the point where the lights

473
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 2: were off, the water done got cut off. He struggling

474
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: to keep up with his with his cardinals, he's struggling

475
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: to pay insurance. Insurance was off on the car. It's like, yeah, so.

476
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that y'all are not intimate, because when did

477
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 1: you have this dream.

478
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: Back in May?

479
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: And this is when you found out that you was

480
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: pregnant with your child now yeah yeah. And then you

481
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 1: also say you got into like a really bad car accident.

482
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah right, Like I got in the cars on the

483
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 2: highway and it was like a single wreck. It was

484
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: me and my homegirls in the car, and we like,

485
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 2: I think, she can't even tell me what happened. I

486
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 2: can't describe. Police came, Like what happened? I don't even know,

487
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 2: Like the whole car just started spinning around.

488
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 1: Was it raining or did you was it some black ice?

489
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 2: It was no, it was summertime. It was summertime. I

490
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 2: had just right, but like it mightin't for like ten seconds,

491
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 2: like maybe thirty sixs then it just stopped. I wasn't speeding.

492
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 2: I don't speed, So I'm just we can't really explain

493
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 2: how it happened. I just every since damn been thinking,

494
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: this is my karma. M so much bad karma.

495
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: And I'm assuming you and his wife don't have no

496
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: type of relationship, like does the kids interact with each other.

497
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: I reached out to her, seeing her like a long

498
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: apology letter, but she didn't respond. So she's basically just

499
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,719
Speaker 2: she don't give two sucks about me. At the end

500
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 2: of the day, she's the victim and me and him

501
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 2: were the bad one. She was the victim, so I

502
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 2: don't really blame her for how she choose to react in.

503
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: The situation, right, And what have your what have your

504
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: family and friends said about this situation?

505
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 2: I mean, of course I've been on my side. I

506
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 2: mean I've lost since that happened. I've lost two of

507
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: my best friends. Really my homegirl, she was like, you

508
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 2: make some with a married man, You got all the

509
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 2: demons on you. I can't hang with you no more.

510
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 3: Wow.

511
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,479
Speaker 2: Yeah. And in my other friends, she's like she was

512
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 2: twenty eight at the time she was messing with marry

513
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: man too, and I kind of looked up to her,

514
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: like because she was so beautiful when she dressed so well.

515
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: She always had money and nice things, so I kind

516
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 2: of looked up to her. So she was telling me

517
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,199
Speaker 2: her experience with married man. It was just like I

518
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: had something to talk about now, like right, and then

519
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 2: she cut you off?

520
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: So so where are y'all fall out? Because I know

521
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: she wasn't judging.

522
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 2: So I stopped texting her every day and calling and

523
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 2: we stopped hanging out. And she said it was sorry,

524
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: and then she said I was fake, and I'm like,

525
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 2: I got another kid. I just had another baby, like

526
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 2: she had no kids, not in a relationship, she had

527
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 2: no kids, so she wouldn't understand.

528
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 1: Right, So how do you explain? How do you plan

529
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 1: to explain this to your kids as they get older?

530
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 2: This is gonna be the hard part. I don't I

531
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 2: don't know. I know I'm gonna have to right, but

532
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just I guess when they're old

533
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 2: them to understand. Like I was young, I made a

534
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 2: mistake like messing with Maryica. It's not worth it, like well,

535
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 2: everything that comes behind it like it's not worth it. Right,

536
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,479
Speaker 2: he went from having fun and he had everything. I

537
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 2: had my own place, my own car, now drive his

538
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 2: car because MINS got raped, and now we're struggling to

539
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 2: pay bills. And yeah, it was everything just went downhill

540
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 2: ever since.

541
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: Right, But you know, at some point you're gonna have

542
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: to forgive yourself and move on from this. You can't.

543
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: You didn't made a mistake, you know. I do think

544
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 1: that since you came from a situation of not having

545
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: a lot of support, it made you have to move

546
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: a certain way. But I think that in order for

547
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: you to move forward and start healing, it's time for

548
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: you to forgive yourself.

549
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 2: And it's like I told myself, like I forgave myself,

550
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 2: Like I asked God for forgiveness, and I told myself

551
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 2: like I forgive myself. But it's like I still feel guilty.

552
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: So it's like, do I really like whenever I see

553
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: the girls over, because you don't let the girls come

554
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 2: when I'm not there, she'll look come for a little

555
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 2: while to hang with him, And whenever I see them

556
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: on the camera like hanging with him, I'll feel so guilty.

557
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 2: So it's just always I just have just just just

558
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 2: guilty country in the back of my head. It's just

559
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: gonna leave.

560
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you also, you know it takes to the tangle,

561
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 1: so you can't carry that guilt by yourself.

562
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 2: Like he blames me for everything. He blamed me for life.

563
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 2: When he blamed me that he lost his job, he

564
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 2: lost his family, his kids, he said everybody he cheated

565
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 2: on her with, he lost everything once he got with me.

566
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's what niggas do. They don't take no accountability.

567
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: So you know, you can't let somebody use your mistakes

568
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: against you, Like you know, now you got your big

569
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: girl draws on your woman and you go at him

570
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: to yours and it is what it is like you

571
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: keep it moving. You know, only the only person that

572
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: can judge you is God.

573
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I'm moving out. So I'm gonna let him.

574
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: If you want his family back, I'm gonna let him

575
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 2: try to get that if it works out. I don't

576
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 2: know this by s. I'm gonna move on my aunts

577
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 2: to tendency moving the thirty first. Oh yeah, but I'm

578
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: working right now, so I kind of want to work

579
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: a little longer and make a little more money.

580
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: Now, how has the situation influenced your views on commitment, relationships,

581
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: and fidelity.

582
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 2: I don't even want abody that's takesing somebody else. Yeah,

583
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 2: you have somebody's like I didn't care, Like I don't know.

584
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 2: I feel like I owe nobody no loyalty. But I

585
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 2: was always bloyd, Like if I was in a relationship

586
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,479
Speaker 2: with someone, then I'm kind I'm loyal to that person.

587
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: But see, I think that's the problem. I think that

588
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: moving forward, you need to be loyal to yourself.

589
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 2: It's gonna be a minute getting a relationship.

590
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 1: And then you also want to you do hair or

591
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: makeup or something, right, Yeah I do makeup. Yeah, So

592
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: I think you should just you know, take care of

593
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: your kids and work in your craft. Like it's gonna Listen.

594
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 1: I always told myself when I used to be in

595
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: some fucked up situations, I'm like, you know what, AE,

596
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 1: you can only be at the bottom for so long.

597
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: At some point you got to start working your way

598
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: to the top.

599
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I feel I feel that way.

600
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: Yes, so listen, it is going to work out, Like,

601
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 1: don't beat yourself up like we here now. It is

602
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: what it is, like, you know, hopefully you learn your

603
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 1: lesson and.

604
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 2: If I ain't never learned.

605
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: A lesson in my life. But yeah, like you, you know,

606
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 1: I feel like when I was reading your story when

607
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: you because I get so many emails from people wanted

608
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: to be on the show, and I don't know, something

609
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: about your story really stood out, and I'm just like, yo,

610
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: let me have her on the show, because you know,

611
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: I really do know how it feels like to you know,

612
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: do certain things, especially with certain people, just to keep

613
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 1: your head above the water.

614
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I ain't even need it. I was doing good.

615
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 2: I had my own apartment. I was making good because

616
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: we're working at the same job. So even though he

617
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 2: was making way more, I was making base twenty three hours.

618
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: It was enough to I didn't have no rent at

619
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: the time. My rent was paid for a year. Yeah,

620
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 2: so stuff. So I was but it wasn't my life.

621
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: It was like a little smaller now yourself old. Oh

622
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: I didn't get that girl. Oh mys was.

623
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: Done legitly, so okay, okay, okay, okay.

624
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 2: I was actually doing pretty good without him, Like me

625
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: and my kid, we was going good.

626
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: Like so why do you think think about it? Why

627
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: do you think that you gravitate towards him, like, do

628
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: you really think you just wanted a nigga with some money,

629
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: like or was it something deeper?

630
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,239
Speaker 2: No, because, like I said, I didn't know how much

631
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: he was making. I didn't know what he had until

632
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 2: he was already talking. I didn't.

633
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: I didn't know because you wasn't attracted to him at first?

634
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: No, I was not. He was so corny. I don't know,

635
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 2: I don't I have no idea. I don't know. And

636
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 2: I'd be asking myself there all the time that made

637
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: me talk to him in the first place.

638
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: Do you think it's maybe because of the lack of

639
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: positive male figures in your life, because I know your

640
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: grandfather passed away and I'm pretty sure he was your protector.

641
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was. He was. It was everything. I may

642
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 2: I think maybe because I was vulnerable, Like I said,

643
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 2: I was told my ex and I was in a

644
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: really abusive relationship with him for a long time, and

645
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: I told him I'm moving on. I want him to

646
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: see I was moving on. I had got up the

647
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: phone numbers, but he the first one I really just

648
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 2: started hanging out with. I wanted him to see my

649
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 2: ex to see there like I'm moving on and him

650
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 2: my ex fox. That's crazy. What so crazy? Like, it's

651
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 2: just so many crazy stories. Like me and the dude,

652
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: my baby Dady. Now, like when we first met, he came.

653
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: I told you, he came to my house living with me,

654
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: but I had kicked him out and somehow he got

655
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: got into the house and he's seen his land in

656
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 2: the bed and backing. It was just it was it

657
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 2: was just crazy.

658
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: But if y'all don't do y'all dirt, y'all gotta make

659
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: sure that everybody is gone.

660
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: No, he was like he was gone. I fell back

661
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: and be handa where to go, and he moved me

662
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: and his place. So I told him, you can come

663
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: when I leave. Like when I told my I had

664
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 2: a relationship, I will met someone else. I said, when

665
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: I leave, you can come right when I'm here. You

666
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 2: can't be here, Tea.

667
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm so messy.

668
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 2: All relationship has just been crazy like it it was

669
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 2: like it's been crazy like it haven't. It's been more

670
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 2: bad and good, but it's just been crazy.

671
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: I'm so messy. I was got to say, who won, girl?

672
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 2: One of them they both got beat up by the

673
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: tell me one had one was leaking from the eyes,

674
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: the other was leaking from the face. I'm just like,

675
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 2: I gotta beat each other up, like nobody lost for

676
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 2: nobody won child.

677
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: So how are you taking care of yourself? Because how

678
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,479
Speaker 1: many months have you?

679
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: Now?

680
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 3: Are you? Now?

681
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: You six months?

682
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 2: I've been hiding from my family.

683
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: You've been hiding from your family, which they don't look

684
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: that you're pregnant.

685
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to talk about it right now

686
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 2: because everybody know like me and not really get along,

687
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 2: and everybody know I kind of want to leave Pamble

688
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 2: and it's like, why would you get prepping again? And

689
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 2: you know you want to leave him, you know the

690
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: relationship I work in, right I'm just saying I'm not

691
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 2: ready to talk about it. And so when I do

692
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 2: tell them about I'm gonna say, go watch the podcast.

693
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna ask you a question. And I don't

694
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: want you to feel bad for your response. Do you

695
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: regret having kids?

696
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 2: When I yeah, I do. I do regret having kids.

697
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 2: I mean I missed. I had my first kid when

698
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 2: I was sixteen, so I missed a lot of I

699
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: know I would have been in college. I had to

700
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: drop out of high school, had to start working, I

701
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 2: had to move out once my granddad died when I

702
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 2: was seventeen. I had a lot of responsibilities. I never

703
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 2: and I was really smart in school, really really smart,

704
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: made straight.

705
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: A's what you want to go to college for? What'd

706
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 1: you major in?

707
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 2: I didn't even know any more? Rights to tell myself

708
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 2: because it changed a lot, Like at one point I

709
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: wanted to be a lawyer, and then I'm like, I don't.

710
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 2: I just haven't thought about it anymore. But I'm back

711
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: in school, I'm getting.

712
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: My GED, so oh, I'm just good.

713
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: I scored it so high, and they say, don't have

714
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: You're supposed to do forty hours in school before you

715
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: can take your take hours because I scored so high

716
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: to PRACTICEE And then.

717
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: Once you're done with your GED, what's next?

718
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: I'm I just I don't, I don't know. I don't know.

719
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 2: I think I want to I want to be an entrepreneur.

720
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 2: I've been an entrepreneur my whole life. In ninth grade,

721
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: selling candy, bringing home, buying food stuff from people selling

722
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: candy were way more than what I should sell it for.

723
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 2: And I started making crocs and started Donna make up.

724
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: I tried to do hair.

725
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw that you was designing crocs.

726
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 2: It's sometime I just started to do but it hadn't

727
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: really It's been a lot going on, so I haven't

728
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: been able to really do it right now, right the

729
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: in force, the entrepreneurship side. So I was thinking about

730
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: taking a business class management class, but right now, life up, crady,

731
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go with the flow.

732
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I just think you just need to

733
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: be open. I think you need to come up with

734
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: some type of plan and just take it day by day,

735
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: like break that plan down into like small digestible goals,

736
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: and just keep going because you can do it. You

737
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: can make it happen. You know, you just have two

738
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: responsible now you have three responsibilities, so it can be done.

739
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: It may take a little bit more work, but you

740
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,959
Speaker 1: just gotta stay positive and keep going.

741
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love my kids, but it does get hard.

742
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: It gets very hard having to work and then you know,

743
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 2: then I'm gonna have another baby, and my other baby

744
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 2: is just eight months. It is extremely extremely hard. Sope's

745
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: my young mother. When you don't have that good support system,

746
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 2: it's really hard. So it's like if you can wait,

747
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 2: so the young people that's listening, you can wait, wait

748
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 2: and you can wait till you're married. That's the best idea.

749
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 1: Now, do you want to get married?

750
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: I do? And that's what kind of made me not

751
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 2: want to be with him no more. And when he

752
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: told me he don't want to get married again and

753
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 2: he said he would never marry me, so like, why

754
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 2: are we even together? Like what are we even doing?

755
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: It's pointless? Yeah, it's pointless.

756
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: And you know what another piece of advice, don't let

757
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: a nigga tell you A nigga only got one time

758
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: to tell me he don't want me. Don't let nigga

759
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: nigga tell you how me a second time, a third time,

760
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: like he got some fucking nerve.

761
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, I'm moving on. After that, I was like, yeah,

762
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 2: this this is pretty much over. I've been trying to

763
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 2: I've been looking for places ever since.

764
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: Right, And have you been working on your your relationship

765
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: with yourself with yourself love?

766
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: No? And I told myself I need to start back

767
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 2: doing that because before I met him, my hair was

768
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 2: done every other week.

769
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: Like your Instagram pictures. The hair was leg.

770
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: Everything stayed done. My feet nails, my nail's not done.

771
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 2: I told my done. I got my hairs on the

772
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 2: point tail like this, So I gotta get back white

773
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 2: with myself. That's why I'm gonna get back white with myself.

774
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: Right, And when do you plan on telling your family?

775
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: Because I can see your stomach.

776
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 2: I don't go around them, or even when I do go,

777
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: I probably wear a big city or something.

778
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 1: You don't hug them.

779
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 2: I haven't been going around them anymore.

780
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: So you're gonna ride out three more months and then

781
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 1: pop up with another baby.

782
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna try because I'm such a my family.

783
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: They do a lot of things together, right, They have

784
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: game night, or they go out to eat at a restaurant.

785
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: They do a lot of things together, so that to

786
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: sit it out. Yeah, they're religious and judgmental, so it's

787
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: like instead of like instead of I don't want to hear.

788
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 2: I haven't told yet because I don't want to hear

789
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 2: like what are you doing? Why would you do this?

790
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 2: I want to hear like how can you help? Or

791
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 2: way can you know? I don't want to hear positivity.

792
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear any more negativity. I haven't

793
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 2: told him yet because I know it's negative things said.

794
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: But if I'm playing Devil's advocate, do you think it's

795
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: negativity or do you think it's like criticism, like holding

796
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: you accountable for the part you play.

797
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear right now I'm holding I

798
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: have enough in the back of my head as it is. Right,

799
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do with a third baby? How

800
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 2: you gonna take tra the baby? I don't. You don't

801
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 2: got to ask me. I'm asking myself that.

802
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: So it's like, right, and you don't think you have

803
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: anybody in your family who you can't talk to that

804
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: would be like that with you.

805
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 2: Me and my sister is really close. She's two years

806
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 2: younger than me, so she helped with the kids. She

807
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 2: had one boy herself, but she I would tell her.

808
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 2: It was just like once I I feel like, once

809
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 2: I tell one person, I'll be ready to tell everybody.

810
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: I'll be ready for everybody, right or they gonna find

811
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: out on this show child. So how has the situation

812
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 1: made you reflect on the concept of karma and the

813
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: potential influence that had on your life and what do

814
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: you plan on doing to reverse it or change it?

815
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like the situation I got myself into

816
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 2: in the in all the karma I received behind it

817
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 2: is it's pretty much just taught me a listen, Like

818
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 2: it's not even just messed with married man, but it

819
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 2: just taught me a life a lesson in general about

820
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: what you put into this world is what you're gonna

821
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 2: get back out of this world, Like the energy put

822
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 2: in and you're gonna get get that same energy back.

823
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 2: So I try to be a better person. I try

824
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: to write my wrongs with people, I get to the

825
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 2: homeless more, try to make up for this one wrong

826
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:21,439
Speaker 2: thing that I've done.

827
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: Right, No, that's good. I mean, listen, all you can

828
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: do is just forgive yourself, learn from this so you

829
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 1: don't have to keep going through this again with somebody else.

830
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: And also, you know, just work on your self love

831
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: because you deserve to have your own man. You shouldn't

832
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: have to be with somebody else. You deserve to be

833
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: with somebody that loves you and that cherish you and

834
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: want to be with you and your family.

835
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,720
Speaker 2: So definitely, I definitely agree.

836
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 1: Now, what advice do you have for others who may

837
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 1: find themselves in a similar situation or is considering being

838
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: involved with a married person?

839
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 2: For people who are already in this situation, like you

840
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 2: are not alone, like the feelings you feel behind it,

841
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: the guilt, the guilt trips you are not alone because

842
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 2: I feel it so much, and I feel like the

843
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 2: best way to each a lie is to talk about it.

844
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 2: Is That's so I'm glad I did have this conversation

845
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 2: with you. And I have my friend who house I'm in.

846
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,439
Speaker 2: I can talk to her about it a lot.

847
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: That's good.

848
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: It's like, just have somebody to talk to about it.

849
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: If you can't get out, y'all, don't have any strings attached.

850
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 2: Get out of it, especially dealing with anybody in the

851
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 2: whether they're in a relationship or married, or just get

852
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: out of it because your value is so much more

853
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,240
Speaker 2: and it's not worth it. It's not worth it, breaking

854
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 2: up a home, breaking up kids, it's not.

855
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: Worth it, right, And does he have a relationship with

856
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: your kids?

857
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, he's there.

858
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 1: I know he's financially there. But is he physically and

859
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: emotionally there?

860
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, we all live together, so he's he's physically

861
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 2: there ptty much because he has to be. That's one

862
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: that I can really see. Is he really going to

863
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: be there? Right?

864
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: And do you know how many other women there there

865
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: has been since you've been pregnant? Is he still messing

866
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: with other women.

867
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 2: Or yeah, he don't mess with other women because, like

868
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: I said, we stopped having six and he is very

869
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 2: hyper sexual. So yeah, he has definitely messed with other women.

870
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

871
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 2: He said he don't have money to mess with females.

872
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's crazy, but right, you don't really need

873
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: money to mess with females. But in his case, I

874
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 2: guess you do. See how you may mean.

875
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 1: Right, And what are your future plans and intentions in

876
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: relation and relation to the situation and just your children

877
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: and overall, like I know you want to get getting

878
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: your ged, you want to be an entrepreneur, So we go.

879
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep in contact with you, keep you, hold

880
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: you accountable so you can get your entrepreneur class.

881
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. My plan is actually if I well, I'm

882
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: going to move with my in Tennessee for until I

883
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 2: have the baby. Then I want to start be looking

884
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: at my own place. We're looking for a job, be

885
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 2: looking for my own place.

886
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: Oh so she know you're pregnant.

887
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: No, not yet, she's feeling she's about to find out child.

888
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:17,919
Speaker 2: I didn't find out.

889
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 1: But are you scared?

890
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: No, I'm not really. I just talked about it. I'm

891
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: not gonna talk like. You can't make me say anything.

892
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about. But yeah, if I

893
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: like it in Tennessee, I think I'm a I'm gonna

894
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 2: stay out there. If I miss home, I might find

895
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: an apartment out here. But yeah, and then I don't know,

896
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 2: just beat it. I just want to be there for

897
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 2: my kids financially, Like it was so easy. I would

898
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 2: say it was super easy for one kid, but it

899
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 2: was much much easier like I was. He was affordable,

900
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 2: you know.

901
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, kids are expensive, are.

902
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: But one kid, one kid is doable. My kid, it

903
00:41:55,719 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 2: is definitely affordable. With three, I just gotta work extra hard, right,

904
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 2: you know.

905
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm just curious, So have you changed

906
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: the music that you listen to? Because I do believe

907
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: that you are everything that you put yourself your environment,

908
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: So like, have you changed your environment? I know you

909
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,800
Speaker 1: you change your friends, but what about the music?

910
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even I don't listen to no more

911
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 2: secument music.

912
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: Yeah you know what I mean.

913
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 3: Not.

914
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 2: I just started back, Like when I be cleaning, I

915
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: like I like Jamaican music and like afrobeats while I'm

916
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 2: cleaning and stuff, I don't really think this, but assen

917
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 2: listening to like rap and see, I don't listen to

918
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: sexy red. I don't know not no sexy rad song.

919
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 2: If I know what's song, it's because I scrolled and

920
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 2: heard on Instagram so much. H I don't listen to

921
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 2: none of it, no more like at all. And the

922
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 2: car only play gospel and then like I'm at home,

923
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 2: I'm just chilling. I may play once in a blue more,

924
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: I may play a little R and B, but I

925
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: may play like Jamaican music, African music. They don't really

926
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 2: promote it as much, right.

927
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: Right, Well, I'm happy that you email me, and I

928
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 1: want to say that I'm super proud of you, and

929
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: I just want you to stay positive because you know,

930
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: we all have little bumps in our journey, but you

931
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: know you just gotta stay positive and just keep working.

932
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 1: Everything is gonna pan out for you. So you know,

933
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 1: I know it may be a little challenging right now,

934
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: but it's gonna work out.

935
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep faith. I was lost it, but I'm

936
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 2: like I caught it for I lost it.

937
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes listen, all you need your faith can be

938
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: the size of a mustard seed. And I am a

939
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 1: firm believer because I had to work super hard, especially

940
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: from someone who don't have any support, So I definitely

941
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: understand you're feeling. So you just have to work really hard,

942
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: and especially since you have three babies to look after her.

943
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:51,439
Speaker 1: But you know, everything is gonna work.

944
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 2: Out, thank you.

945
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: Yes, of course, yes, I feel like you know. That

946
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: is the reason why I created this show, because I

947
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 1: want women and like us to be able to, you know,

948
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: come to come to a place where you could feel

949
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 1: safe and like, you know, be a part of a

950
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: community where you're not alone because you're You're not the

951
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: only person that messed with a merryman before. This is

952
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: not the first time that this happens, So you know,

953
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 1: I think that since you now know that that's not

954
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 1: something that you would like to partake in, now you're

955
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: gonna make a different decision and everything's gonna work out.

956
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I hope someone here is this who needs

957
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 2: to hear this, Like who's probably about to mess with

958
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 2: a married man or thinking about it or it's worthy,

959
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: it's not. Life was good for both of us. Life's

960
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: good for him and life is good for me.

961
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

962
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: Well, to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments

963
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 1: or concerns. Please make sure to email me and hello

964
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 1: at the PSG podcast dot com and to my guests,

965
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I am definitely gonna be on

966
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: your ass like White on Rice. I'm gonna hold you accountable,

967
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 1: make sure you hit these goals and until next time,

968
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: everyone later, you're not gonna say bye, oh yeah bye.

969
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,919
Speaker 1: The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black

970
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

971
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

972
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,

973
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: and you can connect with me on social media at

974
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: the PAHG podcast