Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. In this episode, we're gonna start off
Speaker 1: with a couple of questions to Miss Amy roboch yes
Speaker 1: or no. Christmas Day marriage proposal, Are you okay with it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Question two? And give me a number how many months
Speaker 1: of dating before you give a Christmas gift?
Speaker 3: I think just a number four months?
Speaker 1: Question three? And I need a yes or no? Do
Speaker 1: you still get Christmas gifts from your parents?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: And that's just a few of the things we are
Speaker 1: pondering in this Christmas episode. If you will of Amy
Speaker 1: and TJ look the proposal thing. It makes sense. But
Speaker 1: we are in proposal season November to February, and it
Speaker 1: makes sense why we are in the thick of it.
Speaker 3: Yes, this is what do they call it cuffing season?
Speaker 2: Right? People want to get cuffed together because it's cold.
Speaker 2: You want someone to keep not just your heart warm,
Speaker 2: but your body warmed.
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's really true, but yes, I
Speaker 3: think you asked.
Speaker 2: Me before we started the podcast. You asked, actually the room,
Speaker 2: what we thought the biggest day of the year was
Speaker 2: to get proposed to? And your response, I thought it
Speaker 2: was New Year's Eve or New Year's Day?
Speaker 1: Well, were there's again Andy, they said, Hey said Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day on Time's day, which makes sense.
Speaker 2: No one said Christmas that is the day, but that
Speaker 2: is the number one day for proposals.
Speaker 1: Some of the surveys out there will have different two, three,
Speaker 1: and four on the list, but they pretty much all
Speaker 1: have Christmas Day as number one, And some actual surveys
Speaker 1: have been done out there, and that is the number
Speaker 1: one Christmas Day. Once I think about it, I guess
Speaker 1: some of it makes sense. It wouldn't make sense for
Speaker 1: me necessarily, but I can see why. The family is
Speaker 1: already together, everybody's already around. You can share it with them,
Speaker 1: right some Oftentimes if guy's proposing, he would have gotten
Speaker 1: the okay from the parents ahead of time. So I
Speaker 1: guess they make it a family event.
Speaker 2: And also you don't have to buy another gift, like
Speaker 2: all your money could just go to the ring.
Speaker 3: It's like you're killing two birds with one stone.
Speaker 1: Why is a stone? I am the one that's in this,
Speaker 1: Like I was being heartfelt in my response about what
Speaker 1: it was, and you're taking some what is this approba?
Speaker 2: I'm just saying it's financially it makes sense too, because
Speaker 2: you already have to buy a gift, so why not
Speaker 2: just go ahead and get the diamond ring?
Speaker 1: But are you in favor of proposal? Your special days
Speaker 1: now has to be shared with something else, So I've
Speaker 1: like proposing to someone on their birthday kind of a thing.
Speaker 3: So I'm not a fan of that. I don't.
Speaker 2: I actually don't like sharing holidays with special events. I
Speaker 2: like to have special events be their own special event.
Speaker 2: That's me, And I also think it's so interesting. I've
Speaker 2: noticed a lot of the younger folks and some of
Speaker 2: the friends I've seen who.
Speaker 3: The proposal is absolutely.
Speaker 2: A family affair, and I actually think that's pretty cool
Speaker 2: because that's not how I'd ever seen it happen or done.
Speaker 3: But it's funny.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of Italian friends and the families
Speaker 2: are so close, and I've noticed that actually is kind
Speaker 2: of a tradition among Italian Americans where it's really important
Speaker 2: to have everybody there, so they're kind of hiding somewhere.
Speaker 2: The woman gets proposed to, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: the family.
Speaker 1: Goes, oh, I thought the thing you do it in
Speaker 1: front of it. You don't do it in front of
Speaker 1: the whole family.
Speaker 2: What I've seen happen is there's like a private moment,
Speaker 2: and then the family has all gathered unbeknownst to the woman,
Speaker 2: and then they're all there ready to celebrate, and a
Speaker 2: big party has already been planned. I guess they're assuming
Speaker 2: the woman's going to say yes, because it'd be a
Speaker 2: huge letdown if.
Speaker 3: She said no.
Speaker 2: And then I just see all the you know, the
Speaker 2: social media posts afterwards, and I thought, you know, that's
Speaker 2: really cool.
Speaker 1: We're not telling Christmas Day, you we're not talking Christmas, but.
Speaker 2: It would make sense if they did do it Christmas
Speaker 2: Day because that the whole point is to have everybody there.
Speaker 2: So maybe there's a private moment and then the parties
Speaker 2: planned later.
Speaker 1: This is the idea. My proposal was on Christmas Day.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess there's some sweet now. I guess
Speaker 1: that's cool. But would anyone else get offended that you're
Speaker 1: hijacking the holiday?
Speaker 2: Maybe if I don't know, if someone else had I
Speaker 2: always think it's bad when you see people who propose
Speaker 2: to someone, like at someone else's wedding.
Speaker 3: Have you seen that happen? When I thought that.
Speaker 1: Was only in movies, nobody actually does.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just the movie.
Speaker 1: You see what rom com were you watching that that happened.
Speaker 3: Name one I've probably I've seen ten times.
Speaker 1: There is nobody on planet Earth who would dare propose
Speaker 1: at somebody else's wedding.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've heard that it's happened.
Speaker 1: It has.
Speaker 3: Okay, so Andy's saying it has. That's to me, that's
Speaker 3: the only real Please don't do that. Don't in someone
Speaker 3: else's day.
Speaker 2: Whether it's a whatever you get the baby shower or
Speaker 2: a baby propose to someone because the family's all there
Speaker 2: for someone else's thing, and you decide to hijack the moment.
Speaker 3: That's hijacking the moment.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious to me this day.
Speaker 3: I think it's great.
Speaker 2: It wouldn't be what I would want, but I think
Speaker 2: that I can see why it makes sense.
Speaker 1: Okay, this makes sense to you Andy as well? Is
Speaker 1: this what we're explaining here? What I am? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I would be hesitant to do it. It sounds like
Speaker 1: it's too much in one day, A proposal at a
Speaker 1: wedding Christmas Day?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, don't hijack my holiday. Yeah, okay, I would.
Speaker 4: I would actually be like, okay, so now it's about you,
Speaker 4: not like not anybody else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I could see there being some resentment.
Speaker 1: Okay, but like you said, look different.
Speaker 3: It's Jesus's day, people, thank you now the other thing.
Speaker 1: And he actually brought some of these things to our attention.
Speaker 1: But there were some other questions attached to just whether
Speaker 1: or not there is a proposal. Let's say there is one, Andy,
Speaker 1: what else do we need to be worried about that day?
Speaker 4: If one side of the family is there for a proposals,
Speaker 4: should both sides be?
Speaker 2: I think at least the bride's family should definitely be
Speaker 2: there if I not the girl, Okay, you know, I mean, look,
Speaker 2: I think the groom's family should and could be there too.
Speaker 2: But I think the bride's family would probably feel a
Speaker 2: little offended if the groom's family was there and there.
Speaker 1: Why would they be so offended?
Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe that's that's old fashioned of me
Speaker 3: to think that, But.
Speaker 1: You're right, I supposed to be the bride's day. It's
Speaker 1: about her and it's yet.
Speaker 2: I remember I told you I always learned no one
Speaker 2: should ever congratulate the bride after a proposal or the wedding.
Speaker 2: You should congratulate the groom because he's lucky to have
Speaker 2: her but.
Speaker 3: Again that is maybe old fashioned, but that's how I was.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I always heard that.
Speaker 1: Lucky me. I say it every day.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, I set you right up for that.
Speaker 1: That's too easy. And no, there will not be obviously
Speaker 1: anybody's wondering there won't be a Christmas Day proposal. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, really we hear from em on that.
Speaker 2: You know. Also, something I see in rom comms when
Speaker 2: the girl thinks she's getting proposed to, whether it's a
Speaker 2: Christmas gift or some or a special evening, and he
Speaker 2: hands over that little box and then she opens it
Speaker 2: in its earrings or it's or it's a necklace.
Speaker 1: You know. It's funnier is when it happens on reality
Speaker 1: shows that we've been watching, where the guy has here's
Speaker 1: a ring, it's just a promise ring. Let me explain
Speaker 1: what we've done. We just saw this happen at the
Speaker 1: dinner with the Darcy lady and handed her the box.
Speaker 2: She thinks she's getting the engagement ring, and it is
Speaker 2: a ring and there is a diamond.
Speaker 3: But wait, hold up.
Speaker 1: The dinner with the English fella. Oh yeah, the key
Speaker 1: to his house.
Speaker 4: Darcy and Stacy.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was Darcy and Tom he's the British guy,
Speaker 2: and he gave her but.
Speaker 3: In a box that looked like it was a ring.
Speaker 3: I think that's mean. I think he knew exactly what
Speaker 3: he was doing.
Speaker 5: Don't.
Speaker 2: Don't give a girl who thinks she might get proposed
Speaker 2: to a box that looks like a diamond ring could
Speaker 2: be in it. Don't if you get the earrings of
Speaker 2: the necklace, put it in a very different box, velvet small,
Speaker 2: because every woman is going to think, at least if
Speaker 2: you're at that place in your relationship, that it might
Speaker 2: be or could be a diamond ring.
Speaker 1: And it's a huge less and whatever is in that
Speaker 1: box is gonna suck it is.
Speaker 3: It's not going to be what she thought it was.
Speaker 2: Expectation are the thief of joy in so many circumstances,
Speaker 2: and specifically in this one.
Speaker 1: You let it rob you all the time. But here
Speaker 1: you are telling everybody to do as I say.
Speaker 3: Do you need to work something out right now?
Speaker 1: Off?
Speaker 3: Mike?
Speaker 1: What was and no? What were your proposals around? What time? Days?
Speaker 3: You mean how many days I had?
Speaker 2: No? No?
Speaker 1: No, like on a day like were they a particular
Speaker 1: random days? Right? Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yes, random days that had zero significance. How
Speaker 3: about you? Did you choose significant.
Speaker 1: Days random and insignificant? I think his way to describe
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: And I will say, if the marriage doesn't work out,
Speaker 2: if you put it, it doesn't matter as much. If
Speaker 2: you have some big proposal on a big holiday, you're
Speaker 2: always it's always going to take a little something away
Speaker 2: from that holiday if it doesn't work out, just something
Speaker 2: to consider.
Speaker 3: Being realistic and having lived enough life, you.
Speaker 1: Thought, how many months before you give exchange gifts? That's
Speaker 1: a really, really big one and a lot of folks
Speaker 1: are going to be dealing with this right now. So
Speaker 1: how I guess it's months? I mean, can it be
Speaker 1: shorter than that? Can it be weeks? Can it be
Speaker 1: when do you give a gift to somebody you're dating
Speaker 1: at Christmas time?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: I do. I've struggled with this. I think a lot
Speaker 3: of people do. I think it.
Speaker 2: Yes, you could put a time. You asked me to
Speaker 2: pick a month, I said four months. That was just
Speaker 2: kind of random. But I do think it's more about
Speaker 2: the intensity of the relationship. If you have already decided
Speaker 2: to be boyfriend and girlfriend, if you've.
Speaker 3: Already decided to be exclusive.
Speaker 2: I think it's a noe like, of course you're going
Speaker 2: to give a gift, So no matter how, if sometimes
Speaker 2: people decide they want to be exclusive after three weeks,
Speaker 2: then you should give a gift.
Speaker 1: Why is exclusivity the driving factor here?
Speaker 2: Because that's the person now you are officially dating, and
Speaker 2: that's somebody you would always give a gift to it
Speaker 2: a holiday. But if you are dating lots of people,
Speaker 2: and you can be dating somebody for four months and
Speaker 2: be dating other people, that is a little, I think
Speaker 2: a grayer area.
Speaker 1: What do you think you should all I'm just making
Speaker 1: sure I'm hearing you right. You should only give a
Speaker 1: gift if you are established and.
Speaker 2: No, no, okay, no I'm not saying I'm saying that's
Speaker 2: a that's absolutely you should you give a gift. If
Speaker 2: that's like, you shouldn't even question whether or not you
Speaker 2: should give a gift. If you are exclusive with somebody,
Speaker 2: it's one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: So that's back at all. We said dating, you're dating somebody,
Speaker 1: so what's the rule there?
Speaker 3: It means you're dating other people too.
Speaker 1: Maybe it could be one, it could be nigh, but
Speaker 1: maybe we're not exclusive. But we've been dating and I'm
Speaker 1: not dating anybody else that's possible.
Speaker 3: It's tough. I don't that's tough.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's always a good idea to
Speaker 2: give a small gesture, But then it's like, how much
Speaker 2: do you spend and do you look ostentatious if you
Speaker 2: spend too much? If you do, you look cheap, if
Speaker 2: you spend too little.
Speaker 3: It's tough.
Speaker 2: I think that's a really tough road to navigate. Let's
Speaker 2: ask people who are just dating around.
Speaker 3: Emma, what do you think just.
Speaker 1: Dating around you make I'm not exclusive with anybody? Sorry,
Speaker 1: Well your ru will be, Emma, what dating? How long
Speaker 1: before you give a gift of any guy?
Speaker 5: I would probably say officially dating boyfriend girlfriends, So it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Matter how long official, but it needs that's your argument.
Speaker 1: I kind of think, what do you think, Andy.
Speaker 4: It has to be officially otherwise what are you doing?
Speaker 3: It's weird?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I would feel I would feel so strange
Speaker 2: giving somebody a gift who I wasn't seeing exclusively.
Speaker 1: I find that I am so on the other side
Speaker 1: of this than you all, and I kind of believe it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if I'm dating someone and they are
Speaker 1: a person in my life. Then, of course you give
Speaker 1: a gift of some kind, and it could just be
Speaker 1: a gesture. It could be sweet. You talked about ostentatious,
Speaker 1: and you talked about how much you spend. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be. It can be a very heartwarming or
Speaker 1: heartfelt gift. Someone during a conversation said that like a
Speaker 1: particular movie, so you just get them a little book
Speaker 1: or a DVD of it or something like that. Or
Speaker 1: you give somebody just a bottle of one.
Speaker 3: The wrong message and that I'm a nice person. No,
Speaker 3: we could send the wrong message to that. Yes, sorry
Speaker 3: that fell on deaf ears.
Speaker 2: It could send the message that you want more in
Speaker 2: a relationship, and it could make someone think, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: he really likes me, he must really want to date me.
Speaker 1: And well, you know exactly what I'm going to say.
Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass man. I got time for these
Speaker 1: games about what you think and what I think and
Speaker 1: should I do this? Because you might think this, and
Speaker 1: then she might do that, and people though I am
Speaker 1: dating you, I like you. It's Christmas time. I would
Speaker 1: like to extend a gesture. It is that simple. It
Speaker 1: could be a Starbucks gift card inside of Christmas cards
Speaker 1: with a little note, it's personal, that's a gesture. Why
Speaker 1: wouldn't I want you to know that I like you,
Speaker 1: I am serious about you, and I'm an adult who
Speaker 1: knows how to handle an adult situation.
Speaker 2: I'm just going to speak from the female mind. That
Speaker 2: might be all yeah, and a little bit more emotional
Speaker 2: might be that I would be thinking did he give
Speaker 2: the other women gifts too? And you'd start to compare
Speaker 2: and think and start thinking, or is he just giving
Speaker 2: me a gift? And you'd start to read into it.
Speaker 3: It gets a little complicated.
Speaker 1: So why you don't read into it? If you've been
Speaker 1: dating somebody for three months and gives you nothing at
Speaker 1: Christmas time.
Speaker 3: Well then you know exactly where you stand, which is
Speaker 3: actually helpful.
Speaker 1: But why wouldn't you know where you stood on December
Speaker 1: twenty fourth, in twenty third and twenty second? Why do
Speaker 1: you need the twenty fifth and no gift before wow?
Speaker 3: Because women are constantly trying to guess and see where
Speaker 3: we are.
Speaker 2: They all want to know what the outcome is going
Speaker 2: to be, so they're reading into the little signs, including gifts,
Speaker 2: as to what it actually means about this is your relationship.
Speaker 1: This is where I quit Andy, because the defense is
Speaker 1: I'm a woman. The defense is Andy shiking is into
Speaker 1: taking defence is I'm a woman. You started this by
Speaker 1: I saying, well, women a da da da, Well, women
Speaker 1: are da da da da da. Well, women as a woman,
Speaker 1: And that's what you did that entire time. That means
Speaker 1: I cannot have a reasonable conversation with you anymore on
Speaker 1: this topic. You in and we're done.
Speaker 4: But if it's a situationship, why would you get a
Speaker 4: gift for your situationship? That's just how I feel about it.
Speaker 1: Oh, get that situationship new sheets? How about that because
Speaker 1: we're going to be using them. Quite about some towels, right,
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a big Amazon, big gift bag of I
Speaker 1: don't know, Codell baby wipe. So we can keep whatever
Speaker 1: you can. Oh what is I don't understand why we
Speaker 1: just don't speak to each other. Why we have to
Speaker 1: play a game.
Speaker 3: It's not a game.
Speaker 2: We're trying to understand and know and we're reading into things.
Speaker 3: It's not a game.
Speaker 1: We see game.
Speaker 3: No, we want to know. We're trying to get information
Speaker 3: to evaluate.
Speaker 1: I'm giving it to you by showing you I care
Speaker 1: about you.
Speaker 4: That is.
Speaker 5: Whatever I agree we're always trying to figure out what
Speaker 5: everything means. It's not a game, it's just complex in
Speaker 5: our head.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. You were applauding that answer.
Speaker 3: It was hilarious to me because that's how I feel.
Speaker 1: Oh, I did not know we were going to get
Speaker 1: a hung up on this one. I did not know
Speaker 1: how many months anybody else? What else do you have
Speaker 1: on this topic?
Speaker 3: H J's wiping tears by the way.
Speaker 4: Do you feel bad when someone gives you a gift
Speaker 4: and you don't have anything for them?
Speaker 1: Yes, you do.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've had it happen and I feel immediately guilt.
Speaker 3: Oh no, and then you can't go Oh yours is
Speaker 3: at home and I forgot to bring it in.
Speaker 1: Can you get them something?
Speaker 3: Because I didn't think that we were at that place.
Speaker 1: You're talking about a dating situation.
Speaker 3: Well, no, even at the office or friends.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I didn't know that, you know, Oh, I didn't
Speaker 2: realize we were doing this.
Speaker 3: So, yes, I feel guilty.
Speaker 1: But what you would get a gift on it? Like
Speaker 1: a holiday?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, Christmas gift, holiday gift. Have you ever
Speaker 2: had someone give you a gift that you didn't have
Speaker 2: one in return for?
Speaker 1: Probably, but it did I don't know if it stood
Speaker 1: out that much.
Speaker 2: To me, clearly because you have no memory.
Speaker 1: Because what I'm saying is, it's okay, I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1: I am where I am in our relationship. You are
Speaker 1: where you are, and you want to make a nice
Speaker 1: gesture to me. If you made it, I assume you
Speaker 1: didn't expect anything in return in rock and if you did,
Speaker 1: then we ain't good anyway. Okay, So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying, awkward, weird. I will if
Speaker 1: I'm dating somebody for three months and I get her
Speaker 1: a nice bottle of wine around Christmas time and she.
Speaker 3: Gives me nothing, you'd be fine with that.
Speaker 1: No, I would not say, okay.
Speaker 2: All right, But I guess I feel like I've never
Speaker 2: had that happen with someone who I'm dating or seeing.
Speaker 2: But I have had it happen at Christmas with friends
Speaker 2: or colleagues and I didn't realize we were going to
Speaker 2: And I would say exchange gifts. That's how I'm thinking
Speaker 2: of it in my head. So then yes, I have
Speaker 2: felt absolute stress that I did not get one in return,
Speaker 2: or I didn't anticipate getting a gift.
Speaker 1: Well, what's the other question? On this and you have worth.
Speaker 4: Would you be weirded out if you were only dating
Speaker 4: someone for two months and they got you a Christmas gift?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, two months?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, say that again?
Speaker 4: And why do you be weirded out if you were
Speaker 4: only dating someone for two months and they got you
Speaker 4: a Christmas gift?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I thought you just made the argument that you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be given gifts unless you're exclusive in the relationship.
Speaker 2: Dating someone, So I would assume that means we're dating.
Speaker 2: That means we're together.
Speaker 3: Not a situationship, not a situation.
Speaker 1: So the two months a timeframe doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: I actually think the timeframe doesn't really matter if you're dating.
Speaker 2: That if you could be together for two weeks, but
Speaker 2: you say, hey, let's we're together, but.
Speaker 1: You're still Wait a minute, you could be dating. You're
Speaker 1: the one that said earlier you could be dating more
Speaker 1: than one person. So if you're dating, you're dating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I say, when I'm dating someone, that means
Speaker 2: we're boyfriend girlfriend.
Speaker 1: That's not how you can't Oh my god, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make you go back and listen to this podcast episode.
Speaker 5: I hear what you're saying, because dating means your boyfriend
Speaker 5: and girlfriend. But dating also can mean that you're going
Speaker 5: on dates. But okay, my terminology, dating means you.
Speaker 3: Are boyfriend girlfriend yes, aka official.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you and I are dating.
Speaker 3: We're more than dating.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that was quick. Huh. That is what I
Speaker 1: am saying. If I introduced you at this point and said, yes,
Speaker 1: this is who I'm dating, we are going to have
Speaker 1: a tough conversation to Kyle on the way home.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're not dating, Okay, I think so. I
Speaker 2: think there are levels. Okay, here's what I think in
Speaker 2: my mind. If I say we're seeing each other, Okay,
Speaker 2: if we're seeing each other, that means I'm seeing other people.
Speaker 3: We're just seeing each other. Okay.
Speaker 2: If we're dating each other, we've decided to be exclusive.
Speaker 2: But if you're my partner, which you're my partner because
Speaker 2: we are involved in each other's families in a very
Speaker 2: deep and meaningful way, so it's another it's a step
Speaker 2: above dating, and then you have beyond that.
Speaker 3: You could be living together.
Speaker 1: But we put okay, but there are levels of what.
Speaker 3: Of relationships?
Speaker 1: So if somebody's dating, they could mean a whole lot
Speaker 1: of stuff.
Speaker 2: I think it means they're exclusive, they're a couple. If
Speaker 2: they're dating, yes, but if they're seeing each other, that
Speaker 2: means they're seeing other people too.
Speaker 1: You're okay, you're getting into some weird semantic says. It's
Speaker 1: this is like tomato to bullshit. All right, you know
Speaker 1: it's okay, bro. That was I did not know it
Speaker 1: was going to go there. There's supposed to be a
Speaker 1: happy little Christmas episode.
Speaker 3: I'm laughing. I feel like there's a lot of joy
Speaker 3: in this room.
Speaker 1: Well we're laughing, but that really belies the fire inside
Speaker 1: of me right now. That is just some of these
Speaker 1: it's all in my head. It's all in my head. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your parents still give you Christmas gifts? I do believe, right,
Speaker 1: they do.
Speaker 2: But it's not It's not like when I was younger.
Speaker 2: I think I would say once I got married, they
Speaker 2: I think that was kind of it. They give me,
Speaker 2: you know right now, honestly, they give me. They give
Speaker 2: me checks. I mean that is what they do. They
Speaker 2: are at a certain age. They are trying to make
Speaker 2: sure that they My mom wants to die with zero
Speaker 2: dollars in her bank account, and so that's what they
Speaker 2: do now. And then they give me one small thing
Speaker 2: that she usually asks me to tell her what I want.
Speaker 3: So it's it's different. It's not like when I was
Speaker 3: a kid.
Speaker 1: Everybody's looking up Joni. Right now she's giving money away.
Speaker 2: No, but I you know, and I'm very lucky to
Speaker 2: have that experience. But that's been in recent years. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, it's not the same as when you're a kid.
Speaker 2: I think it changes when you get For me, it
Speaker 2: changed when I got married. But I got married at
Speaker 2: twenty three.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I think I've always my mom was always
Speaker 1: on this in some way, form or fashion. And I
Speaker 1: think I usually get gifts. I'm not sure what they are.
Speaker 3: Card, don't you.
Speaker 2: Do?
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I thought in recent years, but
Speaker 1: she has sent a lot of actual physical gifts over
Speaker 1: the years. It's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you I mean? I would how what
Speaker 2: do you think the age should be? Is there a
Speaker 2: limit at which your parents would stop giving you like
Speaker 2: the gifts they give you? And was like, no, I
Speaker 2: want gifts forever.
Speaker 4: I think like you reach a certain age like where
Speaker 4: maybe you don't get like big gifts, but like a
Speaker 4: little thing like and I'm thinking of you thing depending
Speaker 4: on your relationship circle.
Speaker 1: I guess with them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I give my parents gifts.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Do you give your parents gifts at Christmas?
Speaker 1: They? I don't know when the last gift they got
Speaker 1: for me was Wow, I'm a boy. I'm terrible at
Speaker 1: that stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know what my brother does, that's funny. I'm
Speaker 2: not sure. Maybe his wife does. I don't think he
Speaker 2: would actually actively go and send them gifts. And I
Speaker 2: think my mom was always giving my dad's parents gifts,
Speaker 2: like she would be in.
Speaker 3: Charge basically of it. Otherwise my dad would not have
Speaker 3: given gifts to his parents. Don't give your parents gifts.
Speaker 1: I'm bad at this. Yeah, uh, I mean I always
Speaker 1: call them the gift. I mean what love, attention, time, understanding,
Speaker 1: an ear an ear. They're in the seventies, groves, give
Speaker 1: them a break. Sometimes they just like to hear from
Speaker 1: their signs.
Speaker 3: They might like some lovely ug slippers.
Speaker 1: Too, though, ugg slippers from up. You've met my parents, right, Yes?
Speaker 1: What about them? Says ug slippers? Next? I do?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Do you remember the last you said? Money? I think
Speaker 1: my mom does do that.
Speaker 3: She gives you gift cards and money.
Speaker 1: I think she's given me. No, you know, she gives
Speaker 1: me cash on my birthday.
Speaker 3: That's sweet. Did she put it in the card?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh my grandparents used to do that, like a five
Speaker 2: dollar bill, a twenty dollars bill.
Speaker 3: I think it was just a five dollar bill. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's very sweet.
Speaker 4: Are you a gift card or cash person? Because I
Speaker 4: know it just personally. When I get a gift card,
Speaker 4: I'm like, I am never going to use this.
Speaker 3: Uh wow, really, I just.
Speaker 4: In my head, I'm like, it doesn't seem tangible. You
Speaker 4: can't use it anywhere, you can't load it anywhere. So
Speaker 4: it's like, where am I going to use this exact
Speaker 4: fifty dollars on?
Speaker 2: Oh you're seeing like a Visa gift card. I agree
Speaker 2: those are but if you got like Amazon gift card
Speaker 2: or a Starbucks gift card, you would know exactly you know,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't use that.
Speaker 4: No, because then when you have leftover change on it,
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is annoying to me. Now I can't
Speaker 4: do anything with this.
Speaker 1: Wow, I'll tell you what. You can bring us your
Speaker 1: gift cards. You're gonna be like that, just bring us
Speaker 1: because we'll use them.
Speaker 3: So I have. I do.
Speaker 2: I do write a check, but that's so archaic. I
Speaker 2: think I do usually do cash. Actually this sounds so transactional.
Speaker 2: But I have venmode before, like just with the kids,
Speaker 2: because it's what they prefer.
Speaker 3: But that sounds wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I not my kids, but other like like my nephews.
Speaker 3: I have absolutely just venmode. Does that all?
Speaker 1: No? Not at all? Okay, that's something from you. No,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if it was cold and impersonal, it's
Speaker 1: still it was more than most would have done. Exactly.
Speaker 1: She's right.
Speaker 3: I usually send a friendly text or email along with
Speaker 3: the venmo.
Speaker 1: God, it's all right. Well, we had sought out, we
Speaker 1: had we did. We had sought out to have this
Speaker 1: be something that was more informative and to pass along
Speaker 1: some advice on what you could do about some of
Speaker 1: these things of the holidays. It just went down the
Speaker 1: road we didn't expect.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's what makes podcasting fun. You never
Speaker 2: know where we're going to end up.
Speaker 1: All right, well, folks, you can catch us here. But
Speaker 1: also if you haven't been doing so, by all means,
Speaker 1: go for a morning run with us. Yeah. It's our
Speaker 1: daily news podcast, the Morning Run. We do it every
Speaker 1: single morning, so you can check us out there if
Speaker 1: you haven't been running with us. I certainly hope you
Speaker 1: will start to do so. You know, also know where
Speaker 1: to find us on Instagram, the official page at Amy
Speaker 1: and TJ Podcast. But for now, I'm TJ.
Speaker 3: Homes and I'm Amy Roebock. Hay, Happy Gifting everyone. I
Speaker 3: know I screwed that. I can't even end it right.
Speaker 1: You hear all that stuff I had to say, and
Speaker 1: I made it through fairly well and hafty gifting.
Speaker 2: Happy Gifting everyone, and the holidays.