WEBVTT - A Christmas Proposal? 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:05.520 Hey there, folks. In this episode, we're gonna start off 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:08.800 with a couple of questions to Miss Amy roboch yes 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:14.080 or no. Christmas Day marriage proposal, Are you okay with it? 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:14.440 No? 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:18.520 Question two? And give me a number how many months 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:22.880 of dating before you give a Christmas gift? 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:25.959 I think just a number four months? 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:29.800 Question three? And I need a yes or no? Do 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.479 you still get Christmas gifts from your parents? 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:33.160 Yes? 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:35.600 And that's just a few of the things we are 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:39.440 pondering in this Christmas episode. If you will of Amy 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:42.920 and TJ look the proposal thing. It makes sense. But 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:47.280 we are in proposal season November to February, and it 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:49.360 makes sense why we are in the thick of it. 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:52.360 Yes, this is what do they call it cuffing season? 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:55.480 Right? People want to get cuffed together because it's cold. 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.760 You want someone to keep not just your heart warm, 0:00:58.800 --> 0:00:59.920 but your body warmed. 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.520 I don't know if that's really true, but yes, I 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.360 think you asked. 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.160 Me before we started the podcast. You asked, actually the room, 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:10.240 what we thought the biggest day of the year was 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.640 to get proposed to? And your response, I thought it 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.120 was New Year's Eve or New Year's Day? 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:18.120 Well, were there's again Andy, they said, Hey said Valentine's 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:19.800 Day on Time's day, which makes sense. 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.640 No one said Christmas that is the day, but that 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:24.800 is the number one day for proposals. 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:28.559 Some of the surveys out there will have different two, three, 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.240 and four on the list, but they pretty much all 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.720 have Christmas Day as number one, And some actual surveys 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:35.640 have been done out there, and that is the number 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:39.520 one Christmas Day. Once I think about it, I guess 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:41.280 some of it makes sense. It wouldn't make sense for 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:43.840 me necessarily, but I can see why. The family is 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:48.080 already together, everybody's already around. You can share it with them, 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.440 right some Oftentimes if guy's proposing, he would have gotten 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.120 the okay from the parents ahead of time. So I 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:56.680 guess they make it a family event. 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:00.840 And also you don't have to buy another gift, like 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:02.280 all your money could just go to the ring. 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:05.600 It's like you're killing two birds with one stone. 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.480 Why is a stone? I am the one that's in this, 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.320 Like I was being heartfelt in my response about what 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.520 it was, and you're taking some what is this approba? 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:16.360 I'm just saying it's financially it makes sense too, because 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:18.360 you already have to buy a gift, so why not 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:19.960 just go ahead and get the diamond ring? 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.680 But are you in favor of proposal? Your special days 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.320 now has to be shared with something else, So I've 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:29.120 like proposing to someone on their birthday kind of a thing. 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:31.680 So I'm not a fan of that. I don't. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.640 I actually don't like sharing holidays with special events. I 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.400 like to have special events be their own special event. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.359 That's me, And I also think it's so interesting. I've 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.040 noticed a lot of the younger folks and some of 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:45.760 the friends I've seen who. 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.760 The proposal is absolutely. 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.320 A family affair, and I actually think that's pretty cool 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:54.800 because that's not how I'd ever seen it happen or done. 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:55.880 But it's funny. 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.400 I have a lot of Italian friends and the families 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.960 are so close, and I've noticed that actually is kind 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:06.320 of a tradition among Italian Americans where it's really important 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.160 to have everybody there, so they're kind of hiding somewhere. 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:11.720 The woman gets proposed to, and then all of a sudden, 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:12.320 the family. 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.519 Goes, oh, I thought the thing you do it in 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:15.600 front of it. You don't do it in front of 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:16.200 the whole family. 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:18.760 What I've seen happen is there's like a private moment, 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:21.720 and then the family has all gathered unbeknownst to the woman, 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.040 and then they're all there ready to celebrate, and a 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.240 big party has already been planned. I guess they're assuming 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.080 the woman's going to say yes, because it'd be a 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:29.280 huge letdown if. 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:29.680 She said no. 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:32.560 And then I just see all the you know, the 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.160 social media posts afterwards, and I thought, you know, that's 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:35.800 really cool. 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.080 We're not telling Christmas Day, you we're not talking Christmas, but. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:39.640 It would make sense if they did do it Christmas 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:42.560 Day because that the whole point is to have everybody there. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:44.880 So maybe there's a private moment and then the parties 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:45.440 planned later. 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.640 This is the idea. My proposal was on Christmas Day. 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:50.400 I mean, I guess there's some sweet now. I guess 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:53.080 that's cool. But would anyone else get offended that you're 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:54.200 hijacking the holiday? 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.840 Maybe if I don't know, if someone else had I 0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:59.920 always think it's bad when you see people who propose 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:01.640 to someone, like at someone else's wedding. 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:03.880 Have you seen that happen? When I thought that. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.520 Was only in movies, nobody actually does. 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:06.720 Maybe it's just the movie. 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.040 You see what rom com were you watching that that happened. 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.160 Name one I've probably I've seen ten times. 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:16.200 There is nobody on planet Earth who would dare propose 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:18.040 at somebody else's wedding. 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:20.080 I feel like I've heard that it's happened. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:20.800 It has. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.320 Okay, so Andy's saying it has. That's to me, that's 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.400 the only real Please don't do that. Don't in someone 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:28.279 else's day. 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:31.039 Whether it's a whatever you get the baby shower or 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.240 a baby propose to someone because the family's all there 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.640 for someone else's thing, and you decide to hijack the moment. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:39.160 That's hijacking the moment. 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:41.400 It's hilarious to me this day. 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:42.440 I think it's great. 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.719 It wouldn't be what I would want, but I think 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.160 that I can see why it makes sense. 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:49.400 Okay, this makes sense to you Andy as well? Is 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:54.160 this what we're explaining here? What I am? I don't know. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.760 I would be hesitant to do it. It sounds like 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.240 it's too much in one day, A proposal at a 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.120 wedding Christmas Day? 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:06.920 Oh yeah, don't hijack my holiday. Yeah, okay, I would. 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:09.640 I would actually be like, okay, so now it's about you, 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:11.240 not like not anybody else. 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:14.320 Yeah, yeah, I could see there being some resentment. 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:16.279 Okay, but like you said, look different. 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:20.880 It's Jesus's day, people, thank you now the other thing. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.440 And he actually brought some of these things to our attention. 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.240 But there were some other questions attached to just whether 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.719 or not there is a proposal. Let's say there is one, Andy, 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:30.839 what else do we need to be worried about that day? 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.680 If one side of the family is there for a proposals, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:34.680 should both sides be? 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.760 I think at least the bride's family should definitely be 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:42.760 there if I not the girl, Okay, you know, I mean, look, 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:45.360 I think the groom's family should and could be there too. 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.159 But I think the bride's family would probably feel a 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:51.560 little offended if the groom's family was there and there. 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:53.400 Why would they be so offended? 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:56.680 I don't know. Maybe that's that's old fashioned of me 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:57.240 to think that, But. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.120 You're right, I supposed to be the bride's day. It's 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:00.480 about her and it's yet. 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.360 I remember I told you I always learned no one 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:07.039 should ever congratulate the bride after a proposal or the wedding. 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.640 You should congratulate the groom because he's lucky to have 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:10.240 her but. 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.800 Again that is maybe old fashioned, but that's how I was. 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:15.560 I don't know, I always heard that. 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:19.680 Lucky me. I say it every day. 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.800 Oh my god. Yeah, I set you right up for that. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:25.520 That's too easy. And no, there will not be obviously 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:29.559 anybody's wondering there won't be a Christmas Day proposal. Yes, 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.720 you know, really we hear from em on that. 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.200 You know. Also, something I see in rom comms when 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:38.240 the girl thinks she's getting proposed to, whether it's a 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:40.599 Christmas gift or some or a special evening, and he 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:42.839 hands over that little box and then she opens it 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.240 in its earrings or it's or it's a necklace. 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.440 You know. It's funnier is when it happens on reality 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:53.159 shows that we've been watching, where the guy has here's 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.479 a ring, it's just a promise ring. Let me explain 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.400 what we've done. We just saw this happen at the 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:04.279 dinner with the Darcy lady and handed her the box. 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:07.000 She thinks she's getting the engagement ring, and it is 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:08.920 a ring and there is a diamond. 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:10.440 But wait, hold up. 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:14.080 The dinner with the English fella. Oh yeah, the key 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:14.800 to his house. 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:18.480 Darcy and Stacy. 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:22.640 Yes, it was Darcy and Tom he's the British guy, 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:23.720 and he gave her but. 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:26.480 In a box that looked like it was a ring. 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:28.440 I think that's mean. I think he knew exactly what 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:29.000 he was doing. 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:29.840 Don't. 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:32.960 Don't give a girl who thinks she might get proposed 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.720 to a box that looks like a diamond ring could 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:38.240 be in it. Don't if you get the earrings of 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:44.360 the necklace, put it in a very different box, velvet small, 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.960 because every woman is going to think, at least if 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.600 you're at that place in your relationship, that it might 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:52.880 be or could be a diamond ring. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:54.800 And it's a huge less and whatever is in that 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:56.960 box is gonna suck it is. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:58.680 It's not going to be what she thought it was. 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:03.840 Expectation are the thief of joy in so many circumstances, 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:05.200 and specifically in this one. 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.520 You let it rob you all the time. But here 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.320 you are telling everybody to do as I say. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.360 Do you need to work something out right now? 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:14.680 Off? 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:15.080 Mike? 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:21.000 What was and no? What were your proposals around? What time? Days? 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:23.120 You mean how many days I had? 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:23.360 No? No? 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.480 No, like on a day like were they a particular 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:26.840 random days? Right? Okay? 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:30.160 Yeah, yeah, yes, random days that had zero significance. How 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:31.960 about you? Did you choose significant. 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:35.480 Days random and insignificant? I think his way to describe 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:35.760 a lot. 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.200 And I will say, if the marriage doesn't work out, 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:42.800 if you put it, it doesn't matter as much. If 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.680 you have some big proposal on a big holiday, you're 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.000 always it's always going to take a little something away 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.559 from that holiday if it doesn't work out, just something 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:51.079 to consider. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.719 Being realistic and having lived enough life, you. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.920 Thought, how many months before you give exchange gifts? That's 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:58.440 a really, really big one and a lot of folks 0:08:58.440 --> 0:08:59.880 are going to be dealing with this right now. So 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:02.840 how I guess it's months? I mean, can it be 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.320 shorter than that? Can it be weeks? Can it be 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.920 when do you give a gift to somebody you're dating 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:09.679 at Christmas time? 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:10.120 You know? 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:11.920 I do. I've struggled with this. I think a lot 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:13.560 of people do. I think it. 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:15.440 Yes, you could put a time. You asked me to 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.520 pick a month, I said four months. That was just 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:20.080 kind of random. But I do think it's more about 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:23.040 the intensity of the relationship. If you have already decided 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.000 to be boyfriend and girlfriend, if you've. 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.120 Already decided to be exclusive. 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:28.720 I think it's a noe like, of course you're going 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:30.920 to give a gift, So no matter how, if sometimes 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.040 people decide they want to be exclusive after three weeks, 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:34.360 then you should give a gift. 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:37.400 Why is exclusivity the driving factor here? 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.040 Because that's the person now you are officially dating, and 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:41.760 that's somebody you would always give a gift to it 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:44.199 a holiday. But if you are dating lots of people, 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.840 and you can be dating somebody for four months and 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.320 be dating other people, that is a little, I think 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:50.160 a grayer area. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:52.040 What do you think you should all I'm just making 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:53.760 sure I'm hearing you right. You should only give a 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:55.559 gift if you are established and. 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.360 No, no, okay, no I'm not saying I'm saying that's 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.640 a that's absolutely you should you give a gift. If 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:02.959 that's like, you shouldn't even question whether or not you 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.120 should give a gift. If you are exclusive with somebody, 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:06.079 it's one hundred percent. 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:09.120 So that's back at all. We said dating, you're dating somebody, 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:10.040 so what's the rule there? 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:11.680 It means you're dating other people too. 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:14.000 Maybe it could be one, it could be nigh, but 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.800 maybe we're not exclusive. But we've been dating and I'm 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:19.440 not dating anybody else that's possible. 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.320 It's tough. I don't that's tough. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.439 I mean, I think it's always a good idea to 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.680 give a small gesture, But then it's like, how much 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:38.200 do you spend and do you look ostentatious if you 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.559 spend too much? If you do, you look cheap, if 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:41.640 you spend too little. 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:42.480 It's tough. 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.520 I think that's a really tough road to navigate. Let's 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.040 ask people who are just dating around. 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:48.920 Emma, what do you think just. 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:53.200 Dating around you make I'm not exclusive with anybody? Sorry, 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:56.920 Well your ru will be, Emma, what dating? How long 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.360 before you give a gift of any guy? 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:03.160 I would probably say officially dating boyfriend girlfriends, So it doesn't. 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.800 Matter how long official, but it needs that's your argument. 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:08.679 I kind of think, what do you think, Andy. 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.280 It has to be officially otherwise what are you doing? 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:12.080 It's weird? 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:16.160 Yeah, yeah, I would feel I would feel so strange 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:20.160 giving somebody a gift who I wasn't seeing exclusively. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:24.400 I find that I am so on the other side 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.520 of this than you all, and I kind of believe it. 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.040 It doesn't matter if I'm dating someone and they are 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.680 a person in my life. Then, of course you give 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.960 a gift of some kind, and it could just be 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.359 a gesture. It could be sweet. You talked about ostentatious, 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.600 and you talked about how much you spend. It doesn't 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.280 have to be. It can be a very heartwarming or 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.800 heartfelt gift. Someone during a conversation said that like a 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.240 particular movie, so you just get them a little book 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.160 or a DVD of it or something like that. Or 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:51.000 you give somebody just a bottle of one. 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.440 The wrong message and that I'm a nice person. No, 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:57.280 we could send the wrong message to that. Yes, sorry 0:11:58.480 --> 0:11:59.520 that fell on deaf ears. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.160 It could send the message that you want more in 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:05.800 a relationship, and it could make someone think, oh, wow, 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:07.959 he really likes me, he must really want to date me. 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:09.520 And well, you know exactly what I'm going to say. 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:12.480 I'm a grown ass man. I got time for these 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.439 games about what you think and what I think and 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:16.000 should I do this? Because you might think this, and 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.559 then she might do that, and people though I am 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.400 dating you, I like you. It's Christmas time. I would 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.560 like to extend a gesture. It is that simple. It 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:30.360 could be a Starbucks gift card inside of Christmas cards 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:34.160 with a little note, it's personal, that's a gesture. Why 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.640 wouldn't I want you to know that I like you, 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.240 I am serious about you, and I'm an adult who 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.240 knows how to handle an adult situation. 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.680 I'm just going to speak from the female mind. That 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.760 might be all yeah, and a little bit more emotional 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.320 might be that I would be thinking did he give 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:53.080 the other women gifts too? And you'd start to compare 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.199 and think and start thinking, or is he just giving 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.520 me a gift? And you'd start to read into it. 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:58.800 It gets a little complicated. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.960 So why you don't read into it? If you've been 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.080 dating somebody for three months and gives you nothing at 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:03.840 Christmas time. 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:05.880 Well then you know exactly where you stand, which is 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:06.640 actually helpful. 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.200 But why wouldn't you know where you stood on December 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:11.520 twenty fourth, in twenty third and twenty second? Why do 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.199 you need the twenty fifth and no gift before wow? 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:20.640 Because women are constantly trying to guess and see where 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:21.080 we are. 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:23.560 They all want to know what the outcome is going 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:27.079 to be, so they're reading into the little signs, including gifts, 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:31.599 as to what it actually means about this is your relationship. 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.320 This is where I quit Andy, because the defense is 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.840 I'm a woman. The defense is Andy shiking is into 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:38.800 taking defence is I'm a woman. You started this by 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.800 I saying, well, women a da da da, Well, women 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.400 are da da da da da. Well, women as a woman, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.600 And that's what you did that entire time. That means 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.440 I cannot have a reasonable conversation with you anymore on 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.800 this topic. You in and we're done. 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.640 But if it's a situationship, why would you get a 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.640 gift for your situationship? That's just how I feel about it. 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:02.520 Oh, get that situationship new sheets? How about that because 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:07.160 we're going to be using them. Quite about some towels, right, 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.360 Maybe it's a big Amazon, big gift bag of I 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:16.840 don't know, Codell baby wipe. So we can keep whatever 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.360 you can. Oh what is I don't understand why we 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.400 just don't speak to each other. Why we have to 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:23.240 play a game. 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:24.760 It's not a game. 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:29.880 We're trying to understand and know and we're reading into things. 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.000 It's not a game. 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:32.040 We see game. 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:36.080 No, we want to know. We're trying to get information 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:38.080 to evaluate. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.800 I'm giving it to you by showing you I care 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:42.240 about you. 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:44.680 That is. 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:50.720 Whatever I agree we're always trying to figure out what 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:55.440 everything means. It's not a game, it's just complex in 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.000 our head. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:03.240 Oh, thank you. You were applauding that answer. 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:06.640 It was hilarious to me because that's how I feel. 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.520 Oh, I did not know we were going to get 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:12.760 a hung up on this one. I did not know 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.680 how many months anybody else? What else do you have 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:16.240 on this topic? 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.000 H J's wiping tears by the way. 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.080 Do you feel bad when someone gives you a gift 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:23.680 and you don't have anything for them? 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.480 Yes, you do. 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.800 Yes, I've had it happen and I feel immediately guilt. 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:33.480 Oh no, and then you can't go Oh yours is 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.160 at home and I forgot to bring it in. 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:36.400 Can you get them something? 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:39.480 Because I didn't think that we were at that place. 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:40.760 You're talking about a dating situation. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.560 Well, no, even at the office or friends. 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.000 Sometimes I didn't know that, you know, Oh, I didn't 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:46.600 realize we were doing this. 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:48.400 So, yes, I feel guilty. 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:49.720 But what you would get a gift on it? Like 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:50.240 a holiday? 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:50.640 Yeah? 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.920 Oh okay, yeah, Christmas gift, holiday gift. Have you ever 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:55.480 had someone give you a gift that you didn't have 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:56.280 one in return for? 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.560 Probably, but it did I don't know if it stood 0:15:58.560 --> 0:15:59.280 out that much. 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.320 To me, clearly because you have no memory. 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:06.720 Because what I'm saying is, it's okay, I don't feel bad. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.800 I am where I am in our relationship. You are 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:11.680 where you are, and you want to make a nice 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.480 gesture to me. If you made it, I assume you 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.680 didn't expect anything in return in rock and if you did, 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:21.400 then we ain't good anyway. Okay, So I don't know. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.080 I get what you're saying, awkward, weird. I will if 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:25.800 I'm dating somebody for three months and I get her 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.080 a nice bottle of wine around Christmas time and she. 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:30.240 Gives me nothing, you'd be fine with that. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.800 No, I would not say, okay. 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.240 All right, But I guess I feel like I've never 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.280 had that happen with someone who I'm dating or seeing. 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.480 But I have had it happen at Christmas with friends 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:45.640 or colleagues and I didn't realize we were going to 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.560 And I would say exchange gifts. That's how I'm thinking 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:50.760 of it in my head. So then yes, I have 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.160 felt absolute stress that I did not get one in return, 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:55.840 or I didn't anticipate getting a gift. 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.000 Well, what's the other question? On this and you have worth. 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.040 Would you be weirded out if you were only dating 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.440 someone for two months and they got you a Christmas gift? 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:05.199 No? 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:07.159 No, no, two months? 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:09.359 Wait a minute, say that again? 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.240