Speaker 1: This is the EDS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Ado Yave.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the EDS podcast. My name is Eddie
Speaker 1: and we have our co hosts, dear friend Edwin back
Speaker 1: on the mic.
Speaker 2: Hey, Eddie, it's good to be back.
Speaker 1: I missed it too. It was it was. I gotta say,
Speaker 1: it was a fun podcast that I did without you,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't the same, you know. It's it's always
Speaker 1: so much fun having you on here and just getting
Speaker 1: your perspective and talking and you know, today I am
Speaker 1: really just want to get an update on what's going
Speaker 1: on with you there. I can't imagine how much you
Speaker 1: know is going on with you, between your companies and
Speaker 1: your family, your health, I can't even imagine. So today's
Speaker 1: podcast is going to be about Edwin coming back and
Speaker 1: you know, just sharing his challenges with what's going on.
Speaker 1: If you don't know what's going on, you're gonna find out.
Speaker 2: So there we go.
Speaker 1: All right, awesome, Well a lot has changed since we
Speaker 1: last talked. And first off, how are you?
Speaker 2: How are you doing? I'm doing all right considering right,
Speaker 2: it's been quite the six months. I was just thinking
Speaker 2: about it. It's been yeah, six months now of a
Speaker 2: little bit of a dark value that I'm going through.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, it's just it's funny because it's it's
Speaker 2: not just in in my personal life. It's been with
Speaker 2: you know, with my business and you know, just when
Speaker 2: it rains, it pours. But again, you just kind of
Speaker 2: you've got to continue to just push forward.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Well, let's let's go back a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I know a little bit about what's
Speaker 1: going on, but I don't know, you know, what you
Speaker 1: can and cannot share. So let's let's let's start where
Speaker 1: you know, you found out that Teddy has tumors in
Speaker 1: her head. And gosh, it feels like it was years
Speaker 1: ago because it's just happening so fast and I know
Speaker 1: that she's still struggling with it. But yeah, tell me
Speaker 1: take us back to when it all happened and you've
Speaker 1: got the news, you know that she had tumors in
Speaker 1: her head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was interesting because I had just it was
Speaker 2: two days after the super Bowl and I just had
Speaker 2: this like epic super Bowl party and I was thinking
Speaker 2: to myself, like I forgot how much I used to
Speaker 2: love to entertain and I just had a super Bowl party.
Speaker 2: Then two weeks after before that, I had like an
Speaker 2: NFC championship party. You know, I'm a big football fan. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm sort of getting used to this lifestyle that
Speaker 2: I'm now living, right, And then two days later I
Speaker 2: get a call. So two days after Super Bowl, I
Speaker 2: get a call from Teddy basically saying that she couldn't
Speaker 2: see wow. And I immediately got frightened because she had
Speaker 2: been complaining about having headaches for the last two weeks
Speaker 2: and I kept telling her, you should get this thing
Speaker 2: checked out. And the reason I was concerned was a
Speaker 2: good friend of mine had a brain aneurism and he
Speaker 2: had the same symptoms where just a bad headache, migraines.
Speaker 2: He never had migraines and same altenies. She never had,
Speaker 2: like a migraine headache. And then all of a sudden
Speaker 2: her she's got these migraines that she's had for a
Speaker 2: while now. And then I didn't tell her this, but
Speaker 2: in the back of my mind was, well, what if
Speaker 2: that things are tumor and that's why she's got like
Speaker 2: these big headaches. But of course I didn't say that,
Speaker 2: and I just said, hey, you should go get checked.
Speaker 2: You should go get checked. So when she called and said,
Speaker 2: I couldn't see. Now. The first thing I'm thinking is, Okay,
Speaker 2: it's either a tumor or it's a maybe it's this
Speaker 2: brain aneurysm. So I just finished. I was on a
Speaker 2: sales call. We do a national sales call for the company,
Speaker 2: for my company. I just literally hung up to fall
Speaker 2: the zoom call and I get a call from her.
Speaker 2: And I was staying at at a place in Beverly
Speaker 2: Hills that I stay at at my friend's house, and
Speaker 2: I immediately just hopped on the car and came to
Speaker 2: and see, you know, picked her up. Well. I was
Speaker 2: talking to her at the time, and I was trying
Speaker 2: to get info to find out kind of exactly what
Speaker 2: was going on, And luckily a friend of mine who's
Speaker 2: a doctor, sort of guided Teddy and I and she
Speaker 2: told us what to do, which was to get her
Speaker 2: to an emergency place that actually had a CT scan.
Speaker 2: It's an emergency hospital where they could immediately do a
Speaker 2: CT scan and see what was going on with the brain.
Speaker 2: Because normally, when you can't see like that and there's
Speaker 2: that much pain, there's got to be something there, and
Speaker 2: we want we wanted to make sure that that there
Speaker 2: wasn't a brain aneurysm. But and then what we ended
Speaker 2: up finding once we did the CT scan was obviously
Speaker 2: she had these tumors in her head. And then like buzzwords,
Speaker 2: you got to say, because most of the time they
Speaker 2: don't want to give you a CT scan just like that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, she couldn't see it. She was in a
Speaker 2: lot of pain. And then when I found her, she
Speaker 2: was actually in the in her sofa laying down because
Speaker 2: she couldn't walk. Wow, and uh yeah at that point,
Speaker 2: just took her straight to the hospital and trying to
Speaker 2: remain calm. You know, you can't.
Speaker 1: Did the kids see that?
Speaker 2: They did it? So look good? Did it? And you know, Teddy,
Speaker 2: she can take a lot of pain. She's she definitely
Speaker 2: has a tolerance for pain. And you know with with
Speaker 2: her horseback riding backgrounding and there's time she's falling and
Speaker 2: she just she just if she says she's hurt, because
Speaker 2: she must be in a lot of pain. So the
Speaker 2: fact that she couldn't take the pain anymore was concerning
Speaker 2: because again I know that she just wouldn't. She's not
Speaker 2: one to just say she's hurt if she's not.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I could sense that and I do believe
Speaker 1: my her and my wife have that in common. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they have a very high pain tolerance. Although I think
Speaker 1: my wife has gotten to the point in her in
Speaker 1: her life that she goes to the hospital or urging care,
Speaker 1: you know, for almost anything that that is really out
Speaker 1: of the ordinary for her, like out of the pain threshold.
Speaker 1: And even though I had an issue with my heart,
Speaker 1: you know, I've always been one that unless my arm
Speaker 1: has fallen off, I'm not going to the hospital if
Speaker 1: it's just a bruise, cut or or even a headache.
Speaker 1: But a headache that last two weeks is very concerning. Yes,
Speaker 1: she's never had one, right, Yeah, if you're healthy and
Speaker 1: you get these, Now, I have experienced something like that.
Speaker 1: I've never had headaches ever in my life. And I
Speaker 1: when we got the house in Big Bear, I got twice.
Speaker 1: I got these massive headaches which I can only imagine
Speaker 1: were like like I don't know what they were, but
Speaker 1: they were so painful. I had to get out of
Speaker 1: bed and walk around, and you know, think, what the
Speaker 1: hell am I going to do? Am I gotta go
Speaker 1: to the hospital for a headache? And I considered the elevation.
Speaker 1: I considered I didn't hydrate enough, and sure enough, you know,
Speaker 1: I got through it. I didn't take anything, and the
Speaker 1: very next day I was fine. But it was scary.
Speaker 1: It was scary to feel that level of pain and
Speaker 1: a headache that you know, if you've never experienced headaches,
Speaker 1: it's a big red flag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and especially when when it's so bad that you
Speaker 2: can't even see anymore.
Speaker 1: So, oh, I can't even imagine. So it's my understanding
Speaker 1: that they have they found four tumors, right or yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, so when we when she had the surgery done
Speaker 2: at the emergency clinic or not clinic but hospital that
Speaker 2: we were at, Yeah, we they basically came down. The
Speaker 2: doctor came down and was like, this isn't good. And
Speaker 2: then right when he said this isn't good, I'm like, shit,
Speaker 2: they're too much. And sure enough, we didn't know how
Speaker 2: many tumors at the time, but they just said we
Speaker 2: had to go to Cedars and go for an emergency
Speaker 2: more get more scans, I guess. And then I think
Speaker 2: the next day was when she had to have emergency.
Speaker 2: That's when she had her surgery right away. Yeah, they
Speaker 2: had to be right away. Yeah, wow, that was Tuesday.
Speaker 2: So next day I want to say at three pm
Speaker 2: the next day she went in for surgery. No, that's
Speaker 2: that's when we found out the tumors. It was I
Speaker 2: think it was four. I mean, I can't even remember now,
Speaker 2: but I think it was four that they surgically removed,
Speaker 2: and then there was four that we're gonna remain there
Speaker 2: that they were just going to treat with radiation. But
Speaker 2: before were the size of a plumb.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, gosh, I can't even imagine that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it was it was, uh, well, went through.
Speaker 1: Your head when you found out that she had tumors
Speaker 1: of size plumbs in her head? And what were your
Speaker 1: first thoughts?
Speaker 2: You know, I think, you know, it's interesting you I
Speaker 2: think I went on like fight or flight mode. Yeah,
Speaker 2: flight or fight mode or whatever that's called it where
Speaker 2: it just I just think I think the emotion, you know,
Speaker 2: when I always like, I've always been good at handling pressure,
Speaker 2: handling bad news. I don't know if that stemmed from
Speaker 2: you know, being a kid and stuff, because you know,
Speaker 2: when when our home would get raided by law enforcement,
Speaker 2: I remember that. You know, usually when that happens, they
Speaker 2: you know, they flip your house upside down. They know
Speaker 2: everybody's on the floor, they're handcuffing people, and I remember, uh,
Speaker 2: my mom would always say, are you okay? And she'd
Speaker 2: always came out and you know, when you're a kid,
Speaker 2: they can't handcuff you. So we're just kind of sitting
Speaker 2: and they're watching, and I remember just having to be
Speaker 2: so calm for my mom because I didn't want her
Speaker 2: to feel like I was in any kind of pain
Speaker 2: where I was worried. And I don't know if it
Speaker 2: was that, because I've tried to kind of think back
Speaker 2: and reflect, like how come I when the pressure is on,
Speaker 2: I just have this calmness about me that just kind
Speaker 2: of where like the emotion kind of goes away and
Speaker 2: I just focus on like, Okay, we just need to
Speaker 2: get things done, we need to get complete stuff. And
Speaker 2: that's always been how I've dealt with it, you know,
Speaker 2: the way I've always cured sort of anxiety, worry, frustration
Speaker 2: is really by just going to work on getting things done,
Speaker 2: like things that I need to do, like complete task.
Speaker 2: And it's kind of the way I look at it.
Speaker 2: So the first thing that came to me was, all right,
Speaker 2: I gotta I gotta make sure the family is taken
Speaker 2: care of. I got to make sure that I transfer
Speaker 2: certainty to the kids, certain confidence to the kids, and
Speaker 2: I just started getting done, getting things done that I
Speaker 2: know I needed to do, with work, with the family,
Speaker 2: with work, and just things like that. So that I've
Speaker 2: noticed has always helped me with that anxiety part. I think,
Speaker 2: at least for me, when I just sit back and
Speaker 2: think and not get things, when I don't do the
Speaker 2: things that I'm supposed to get done, then that's when
Speaker 2: the mind sort of takes over and you get a
Speaker 2: lot of thoughts in your head. Yeah, crazy, crazy thoughts, right. So,
Speaker 2: so I've always loved taking action towards whatever that worry is,
Speaker 2: whatever that frustration is. That what I've noticed is always
Speaker 2: when you take action towards it, it's always been the
Speaker 2: cure for me. Versus the opposite of that is you
Speaker 2: let that fear paralyze you. That fear then becomes procrastination,
Speaker 2: and then it becomes paranoia where because you're not doing anything,
Speaker 2: you're just in your head and you're never gonna overthink
Speaker 2: good thoughts, but you will always overthink bad thoughts.
Speaker 1: And you might even act on them, and you might
Speaker 1: even act on those bad dots.
Speaker 2: So you know, I think for me again, I think
Speaker 2: it was just at that moment, it was kind of
Speaker 2: fight or flight mode, and the I don't think I
Speaker 2: processed it. It was just Okay, what do we do?
Speaker 2: What do we need to do next? How can we
Speaker 2: get Teddy feeling confident? How can we get her feeling
Speaker 2: you know, like everything's going to be all right? That
Speaker 2: was sort of my first thought, is getting her in
Speaker 2: a good place and then and then getting the kids
Speaker 2: in a good place.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure the listeners would appreciate hearing about this,
Speaker 1: pardon and I know I witnessed it. But the fact
Speaker 1: that you guys were going through some real turmoil in
Speaker 1: your relationships and you just swept out of aside and
Speaker 1: stepped up and took care of her and and and
Speaker 1: you know, got her to the right people and you're
Speaker 1: just you're there for her. That says a lot about you, bro.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's a big step up and a
Speaker 1: big ass But yeah, I know, deep down inside it's
Speaker 1: it's because this is the woman that you love and
Speaker 1: and it's the mother of your children. But how did
Speaker 1: you process that?
Speaker 2: You know, people think that's hard, but for me, that
Speaker 2: was just that's just what I do, like it's it's
Speaker 2: no matter what, I will always loved Teddy and she's Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's been a big part of my life. And I
Speaker 2: just I like taking care of people, like I like,
Speaker 2: it's just what I what I do. So it wasn't
Speaker 2: it wasn't even like a question a question it was
Speaker 2: it was it was reflexive. Yeah. And the thing is, again,
Speaker 2: was getting her to a point where she felt confident,
Speaker 2: she felt like she wasn't alone, she felt like she mattered. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that was my thing is I wanted to because
Speaker 2: you know, I think a big part of dealing with
Speaker 2: this situation is feeling confident, feeling like you're not alone.
Speaker 2: And I think her her friends all stepped up, her
Speaker 2: family all stepped up, and it helped me a lot.
Speaker 2: You know, I wouldn't have been able to do what
Speaker 2: I did if it wasn't for her friends and her family.
Speaker 2: I think one of the things that messes you with
Speaker 2: that that just messes with you quite a bit. As
Speaker 2: far as not being able to function a sleep, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and her friends stepped up and they they would spend
Speaker 2: the night with her. So I think I did that
Speaker 2: the first two nights, which that was rough. Because then
Speaker 2: you can't really at least for me, I can't function
Speaker 2: without sleep, right, And her her friends all took turns
Speaker 2: because she was I want to say, it was a
Speaker 2: good ten fourteen days. Yeah, that she was. She was
Speaker 2: ten days in the ICU for sure. So I was always.
Speaker 1: Talking about the hospital, like staying at the hospital.
Speaker 2: Yeah, staying at the hospital. So every night there, her
Speaker 2: friends would step up and they would take turns on
Speaker 2: who would spend the night there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which again that was huge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I think when when stuff like that happens, you don't
Speaker 2: want to feel alone, and you want to feel like
Speaker 2: you matter and you want to feel like there's people
Speaker 2: rooting for you. And Teddy's friends and family did that.
Speaker 2: So I'm so grateful to all of you guys. I know,
Speaker 2: you guys went a couple of times, and you know
Speaker 2: that meant everything for her. Yeah. Yeah, her friends and
Speaker 2: her and her dad, her whole family came down. So
Speaker 2: again it was it was good to see that kind
Speaker 2: of support. And yeah, that allowed me also to take
Speaker 2: care of the kids, right, because the kids were back
Speaker 2: at home and.
Speaker 1: Stuff, so there's just one of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So when that happened, I would stay home with
Speaker 2: the kids and make sure they were confident and again
Speaker 2: make sure that they knew that and I was upfront
Speaker 2: with them, what's what was going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, how did they take it?
Speaker 2: They got scared, obviously, they were concerned, But I tried
Speaker 2: my best to again not sugarcoat it too much, let
Speaker 2: them know, Hey, there are some risks that come with us.
Speaker 2: You know, I called it the way it was. It's like, hey,
Speaker 2: there's some tumors that your mom has in her brain. Wow,
Speaker 2: And I said, it sounds worse than what it is.
Speaker 2: But this is what I think is, this is what
Speaker 2: we think is going to happen. This is sort of
Speaker 2: how we're going to deal with it, and this is
Speaker 2: why I'm confident that she's going to make it through. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And we did it that way just because we knew
Speaker 2: that it's better to be direct with them that they
Speaker 2: than them find out online or on the internet or somewhere.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they've been they've been strong. You know, kids
Speaker 2: are resilient. They are, and I've been very impressed with them.
Speaker 2: They you know, they've still been doing great in school.
Speaker 2: They've been doing great in the sports. I've tried to
Speaker 2: just keep it consistent with them, so keeping a normal life, yeah,
Speaker 2: have them continue to do what they've always done. Yeah, So,
Speaker 2: and that's what we've been doing.
Speaker 1: So I want to say that dust has settled since
Speaker 1: the surgery, but I do understand that there's more going on.
Speaker 1: So asking you, like, where are you at now, I mean,
Speaker 1: are you still in fight or flight or has it
Speaker 1: dust settled? Or are we back in crisis mode? How
Speaker 1: she doing?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's doing great. I mean she's progressing. So that's
Speaker 2: that's what we try to focus on, is just the
Speaker 2: progress and not so much the perfection of it. We
Speaker 2: know there's going to be setbacks, you know. The first
Speaker 2: two weeks were the first three weeks were all about
Speaker 2: post surgery because that surgery was basically two surgeries in
Speaker 2: one and the recovery on time. The recovery for that
Speaker 2: was a tough one. So that was sort of the
Speaker 2: first barrier challenge that we had to get through, and
Speaker 2: then that took about three weeks. And then the second
Speaker 2: challenge now is the treatment because then she starts treatment
Speaker 2: and then we got to make sure to see that
Speaker 2: treatment works. But then there's also the side effects of
Speaker 2: the treatment, and that she took rather well the treatments
Speaker 2: the first week, and then the second week, you know,
Speaker 2: she still would and I don't even know how she
Speaker 2: did it, but she she started horseback riding again and
Speaker 2: I think she got first placed the first time. She
Speaker 2: goes out there and competes again. And then she was
Speaker 2: going she's resilient. Yeah, And then she was going to
Speaker 2: all the hard workouts that I'd like to go to,
Speaker 2: and she was doing them with me. You know, obviously
Speaker 2: not at one hundred percent, but she was there, you know,
Speaker 2: moving her body and and and trying and and and
Speaker 2: again they're not easy workouts, but yet she was there
Speaker 2: doing them. So so that was going well. And then
Speaker 2: the second week, uh, it started hitting her a little more,
Speaker 2: the radiation started kicking a little more. Yeah, and so yeah,
Speaker 2: so she's continuing to fight and uh and yeah, she's
Speaker 2: you know, progressing as much as she can be right now.
Speaker 2: But now we got to wait to see if the
Speaker 2: treatment works.
Speaker 1: So right, how has it affected your relationship in a
Speaker 1: good or bad way way? I mean going through this together,
Speaker 1: because it sounds like when she's working out with you
Speaker 1: and spending time with you, it's like things are back
Speaker 1: to normal, right, but yeah, there's so much going on
Speaker 1: feeling wise. Are you guys still connected, did you reconnect
Speaker 1: or is it just been like we're going to get
Speaker 1: through this and that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it's just been we're going to get
Speaker 2: through this right now, and I mean that's the first thing,
Speaker 2: is just making sure that we take care of this first,
Speaker 2: and and all that other stuff. You know, we'll see
Speaker 2: what happens with time, but you know, right now, it's
Speaker 2: just more of like, how do we take care of you?
Speaker 2: And how how can we get you back to normal
Speaker 2: as fast as possible, and you know that other stuff.
Speaker 2: You know, we'll figure itself out, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you guys, are you guys spending more time
Speaker 1: together or is it just because she needs so much
Speaker 1: so much help right now that you're spending time with her, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it were what there's not much time we can spend, uh,
Speaker 2: Like it's you know, I'm still having to go to
Speaker 2: work and she's still working as you know. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then we got the kids and stuff, so it's not
Speaker 2: like we can really work on that side of it yet.
Speaker 2: But we're just you know, I'm home now most of
Speaker 2: the time, So you know, we were doing nesting, yeah,
Speaker 2: which was basically nesting is basically when you have whoever
Speaker 2: has custody the kids gets to stay at the main house,
Speaker 2: whoever doesn't at that time has to move out. Okay,
Speaker 2: So that's what we were doing. So whenever's whenever it
Speaker 2: was my time to be with the kids, I'd stay
Speaker 2: at our main house. Yeah, and then when it was
Speaker 2: her time to have the kids, then I'd move out
Speaker 2: and go to the other house. Now I'm back to
Speaker 2: basically staying here in ninety She's staying one hundred percent
Speaker 2: of the time here now, okay, and then I'll stay
Speaker 2: in ninety percent of the time here, and then you know,
Speaker 2: whenever our living housekeepers here, then I'll stay at another
Speaker 2: place for a bit. But I typically I'm staying ninety
Speaker 2: percent of the time. So maybe one or two days
Speaker 2: out of the week I'm not at the house, but
Speaker 2: the other days I'm here. So and a big part
Speaker 2: of that too is I want I want the kids
Speaker 2: to see me here as well, so again to kind
Speaker 2: of transfer that confidence and certainty that yeah, because sometimes
Speaker 2: you know, mom, if they feel Mom is sick, they
Speaker 2: might they don't feel as comfortable. Right, What if mom
Speaker 2: doesn't can't get up and help me out in the
Speaker 2: middle of the night, is what Cruz says, right, So
Speaker 2: that's another reason why I like to stay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I have an interesting question, you know, being public
Speaker 1: figures and you know, having wives that are celebrities, I
Speaker 1: would imagine that this would be a time where you
Speaker 1: just want ultimate privacy. Do you agree or how do
Speaker 1: you deal with that? You know, how do you deal
Speaker 1: with being the public guye and seeing all these tabloids
Speaker 1: and all these news about what's going on with your
Speaker 1: wife and it's like, this is private shit? Why is
Speaker 1: it out there? Kind of thing that that's my thought, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't look at it. I haven't looked
Speaker 2: at it. I probably looked at it more when we
Speaker 2: were going through our divorce. This I haven't had time
Speaker 2: to look at it period, and frankly, I just don't
Speaker 2: want to even be reminded of it. And then, you know,
Speaker 2: as far as like dealing with out in the public,
Speaker 2: I've tried to just stay as low key as possible. Yeah,
Speaker 2: even before this happened, I was trying to be low key.
Speaker 2: You know, there's restaurants you can go to that if
Speaker 2: if you want to get noticed and you want the
Speaker 2: paparazzi to get you, you can go to I just
Speaker 2: I already know which those places are. So I just
Speaker 2: try to keep it low key and just not even
Speaker 2: deal with it.
Speaker 1: Well, even on my end, not even my wife, but
Speaker 1: I have a lot of fans that I chat with
Speaker 1: on Instagram, and I can't tell you how many people
Speaker 1: have been, you know, praying, sending prayers for Teddy and you,
Speaker 1: and I's been hoping, yeah, that you guys are going
Speaker 1: to make it through this, and and some of them
Speaker 1: ask me like, how is she doing? What's going on?
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not my place, you know, Frankly, I
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on because I'm I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know. I just I think it's such a private matter.
Speaker 1: I mean, my wife is all about it because she's
Speaker 1: she was so devastated when this happened, and she's feeling
Speaker 1: better now, but but she The only other time I've
Speaker 1: ever seen my wife feel this way and and so
Speaker 1: overwhelmed and kind of just frozen is when when she
Speaker 1: was going through her divorce and the X was trying
Speaker 1: to take the kids away and doing everything you could
Speaker 1: and when we ended up losing her eldest daughter to
Speaker 1: him to his lives and manipulation, that's when she kind
Speaker 1: of went into kind of like froze, like just coulmfunction.
Speaker 1: And this is the only other thing.
Speaker 2: That paralyzation that you know, fear gives you through responses
Speaker 2: to the future. It paralyzes you, right, it's like you frege.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The procrastination comes next, where you know you got to move,
Speaker 2: but you're still frozen. Yeah, and then the paranoia comes next,
Speaker 2: which is that's all the thoughts in your head and
Speaker 2: that's what gets you in that low frequency state. And
Speaker 2: again again, if you think about anytime you're overthinking stuff,
Speaker 2: it's always bad things. You never overthink good stuff. And
Speaker 2: it's why I think it's so important to have clarity,
Speaker 2: because clarity, I think gives you confidence. When you have clarity,
Speaker 2: you don't have time to think, yeah, because you know
Speaker 2: exactly what you need to do. And because of that,
Speaker 2: everything's reflexive. You're not in your head. You're just like,
Speaker 2: all right, I got to do this, this, this, this, this,
Speaker 2: and every time you get these things done, you kind
Speaker 2: of fuel yourself with enthusiasm, right, Yeah, Hey, good and
Speaker 2: that's why I've always said the for me, at least,
Speaker 2: the cure to anxiety, to worry, to frustration has always
Speaker 2: been taking action towards those things that I know that
Speaker 2: are worrying me, right, yeah, And that's kind of the
Speaker 2: approach I've I've taken, you know, and I've learned a
Speaker 2: lot about you know, what's going on with Teddy as well.
Speaker 2: Like I never thought I was gonna learn that much
Speaker 2: about cancer, but I've had to. What you learn, I
Speaker 2: just like the way the tumors were working, you know,
Speaker 2: the expectancy of it, the chances of survival, the difference
Speaker 2: between the melanoma type tumor versus like your traditional type tumor.
Speaker 2: You know what immunotherapy is with radiation all that.
Speaker 1: You know, what is immunotherapy? I don't know, I've never
Speaker 1: heard of that until so.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So immunotherapy, my understanding is that it attacks cancers,
Speaker 2: It attacks potential cancer cells, and it specifically attacks them,
Speaker 2: whereas chemotherapy just attacks all of your cells. Right, So, immunotherapy,
Speaker 2: because it's specific with which ones, it doesn't hit you
Speaker 2: as bad as chemotherapy, but it also prevents potential tumors
Speaker 2: to not come out because it's attacking them before they
Speaker 2: come out. So not only does it help with the
Speaker 2: existing tumors, but it will also help you with potential
Speaker 2: ones that might come out later. So interesting. And what
Speaker 2: I also learned about immunia therapy is that it actually
Speaker 2: was It's been around since like the eighties, but then
Speaker 2: it got banned from the US because don't quote me
Speaker 2: on this, but I think it was because of AIDS,
Speaker 2: and then they just brought it back I think in
Speaker 2: twenty fifteen, and it's still banned, but only for certain
Speaker 2: type of cancers they allow it, So milanoma being one of.
Speaker 1: Them, right, that's interesting. Yeah, is she going through radiation
Speaker 1: as well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's going through radiation as well, So the radiation
Speaker 2: will help with the brain, the immunotherapy will help with
Speaker 2: the two that she has in the lungs, and then
Speaker 2: it also helps with potential future ones that will come out. Yeah.
Speaker 2: What a fight, at least that's my understanding of it.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine what that'd be like. And I
Speaker 1: can't even imagine what it'd be like being in your
Speaker 1: shoes and you know, having to deal with that situation,
Speaker 1: especially with somebody who you deep down inside truly love
Speaker 1: you know, not just as.
Speaker 2: I was just going to say, and again it's it's
Speaker 2: the friends. The family have just steps up, have stepped
Speaker 2: up so much that it has allowed me to still
Speaker 2: do the things that I need to do to work
Speaker 2: on myself, right, because you can't if you can't help yourself,
Speaker 2: you can't help anybody.
Speaker 1: Else, right, So I always said that.
Speaker 2: So like, you know, I like I still do my
Speaker 2: workouts every morning, like that's sort of a non negotiable
Speaker 2: for me. You know, my gratitude exercise in the morning,
Speaker 2: that's a non negotiable for me as well. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm still I'm getting my sleep, you know, all those
Speaker 2: things that you sort of need to be functioning at
Speaker 2: a at a high see, yeah, at a high level.
Speaker 2: So at least for me, that's that those are I'd
Speaker 2: still been able to do kind of those things and
Speaker 2: and still have a little time for me where you
Speaker 2: have not you know, you have you find a way
Speaker 2: to have a little fun, right Yeah, watching a game
Speaker 2: here and there, you know, going to dinner with a
Speaker 2: friend here and there.
Speaker 1: Spending time with the kids, doing that a lot of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, time with the kids, you know, one of
Speaker 2: the things that's interesting, U huh. Ironically, this moment in
Speaker 2: my life, it's brought me a lot of peace, really,
Speaker 2: And the reason it's brought me a lot of peace
Speaker 2: is it's I don't know forced is the right word,
Speaker 2: but it's it's forced me to be more present. And
Speaker 2: I think in the past, I was always in the
Speaker 2: future because I was always in the future where you
Speaker 2: can't control the future. So there's there's a part of
Speaker 2: your piece that gets robbed, right, because the only time,
Speaker 2: if you think about it, the only time you could
Speaker 2: have peace is in the present because you don't know
Speaker 2: what's going to happen in the future. Right. So I'm
Speaker 2: here with you now, but I'm thinking about me having
Speaker 2: what I have to do on a Saturday. I'm here
Speaker 2: with you, but I don't really have peace because I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about tomorrow, right. And what I realized is just
Speaker 2: these last six months, I've been able to be more
Speaker 2: present because I realized there's a lot of things that
Speaker 2: I thought mattered that don't really matter. And all these
Speaker 2: things that I thought we're going to be the end
Speaker 2: of the world aren't the end of the world. You know.
Speaker 2: I used to think I can't drive my kids to
Speaker 2: school because I have to do this, this, this, this,
Speaker 2: and I got to finish this project. I got to
Speaker 2: finish that project. And when all this thing started six
Speaker 2: months ago, I had to take the kids to school
Speaker 2: and I had to be present. And then I thought
Speaker 2: to myself, if everything fall because of that, who cares?
Speaker 2: Oh well, and I let it go. And the next
Speaker 2: thing I know, I'm like, wait, it didn't fall apart.
Speaker 2: I could actually do this, and you know what, it
Speaker 2: wasn't that hard. It was just yeah, and it was
Speaker 2: I enjoyed it. So I've been more present with just
Speaker 2: everything that I'm doing now, and that's that's brought me
Speaker 2: a lot of peace, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 1: One and a lot.
Speaker 2: Of that has come because again it goes back to
Speaker 2: just it's probably what Tama was feeling, right. It's just
Speaker 2: when someone that close to you is going through what
Speaker 2: they're going through, you realize again that just all these
Speaker 2: things that you think matter don't really matter. So let
Speaker 2: me just put my phone down for three hours, let
Speaker 2: me focus on what I'm doing right now in this moment.
Speaker 2: And you know what, if something happens in the next
Speaker 2: three hours and I can't get to my phone because
Speaker 2: of work. So what.
Speaker 1: I saw a quote on social media recently and I
Speaker 1: reposted it.
Speaker 2: It was, you.
Speaker 1: Have a thousand problems until you get sick, and then
Speaker 1: you have one problem, and it's very eye opening. It
Speaker 1: kind of opened up my eyes a ton when it
Speaker 1: happened to me. I never thought it would ever, especially
Speaker 1: a health scare like this. Whatever happen to me, but
Speaker 1: it opened up my eyes. And like you said, I
Speaker 1: was very present and really diligent about learning as much
Speaker 1: as I could about the disease I was dealing with.
Speaker 1: And I can't emphasize enough how rewarding or how comforting
Speaker 1: it is to have your significant other there for you
Speaker 1: at the hospital, going to the doctors and almost translating
Speaker 1: what the doctor is saying, because you know when, like
Speaker 1: you said, I'm there, but I'm thinking, am I going
Speaker 1: to be?
Speaker 2: Okay? Am I?
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, you know, ten years from now, where am
Speaker 1: I going to be? So I'm listening to maybe a
Speaker 1: quarter of what the doctor is saying. And when we
Speaker 1: get home, my wife's like, did you hear what the
Speaker 1: doctor said? He said so and so and so, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't remember him saying that, you know,
Speaker 1: because my head was somewhere else. Yeah, So to have
Speaker 1: somebody you know, support me like that and and bring
Speaker 1: clarity to what, you know, the path I need to
Speaker 1: take to beat this disease is it's priceless. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean it. I commend you for being there for
Speaker 1: her and you know, being the support that she needs.
Speaker 1: And how lucky is she to have such wonderful friends
Speaker 1: and family to be there as well and take that
Speaker 1: load off of you, but maybe even not even take
Speaker 1: a load off of you, but contribute to her confidence
Speaker 1: and her positivity that she's going to get through this,
Speaker 1: because I see that in her. I mean every time
Speaker 1: Tamra comes and you know, she's crying about it and
Speaker 1: she's feeling sad about it, like she's going to be okay.
Speaker 1: I there's something about Teddy. I see that she's really
Speaker 1: a strong warrior, and I think she's going to be okay.
Speaker 1: But I don't know any other way, you know, to
Speaker 1: help my wife, or any other way to think but positive,
Speaker 1: you know. And I just wish you, guys well for
Speaker 1: you know, the getting through this, and you know, I
Speaker 1: think it would make your relationship stronger, you know, wherever
Speaker 1: that goes, you know, even if you're just friends. I
Speaker 1: think it'll make that relationship stronger between you guys and
Speaker 1: the family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think you hit the name on the
Speaker 2: head in regards to just being positive with stuff. You know,
Speaker 2: it takes the same amount of mental energy to focus
Speaker 2: on success than it does on failures. So you know,
Speaker 2: for me, I think a big part of getting through
Speaker 2: this has just been focusing on the positive, you know,
Speaker 2: nicety percent. I've always said this, ninety percent of winning
Speaker 2: in life is just being positive. And you know, the
Speaker 2: faith fear right projection of the most positive thing for
Speaker 2: the future, of fear, projection of the worst possible thing
Speaker 2: for the future. I've always chosen to just focus on
Speaker 2: on the faith part and just controlling what you can
Speaker 2: control and leaving all that stuff that you can't control.
Speaker 2: That's where your faith comes in and you lean on faith.
Speaker 2: And you know, I can't focus on Teddy maybe not
Speaker 2: making it like I can't control that, right, I can
Speaker 2: only focus on what I can't control, and that's also
Speaker 2: given me peace. Right, it's we can focus on making
Speaker 2: sure that she gets the best treatments that you know,
Speaker 2: she is around and she's happy, Like, that's what we
Speaker 2: can control. All that other stuff. You know, you just
Speaker 2: have faith that it's going to work itself out and
Speaker 2: you don't really think about it. Like if I focus
Speaker 2: on that, then I'm just doing myself a disservice, which
Speaker 2: then I'll do my kids disservice. So I just got
Speaker 2: to again focus on on the positive and not and
Speaker 2: then and that's where the piece comes in as well.
Speaker 2: And take it day by day, focus on today, focus
Speaker 2: on the progress that you're making, and that that alone
Speaker 2: would give you the piece. And man, I can't I
Speaker 2: can't stress enough the importance of just cultivating gratitude every morning,
Speaker 2: you know, you know, bitterness requires you to live in
Speaker 2: the past. Hope requires you to live in the future.
Speaker 2: The beautiful thing about gratitude is not only does it
Speaker 2: allow you to enjoy the present, but it allows you
Speaker 2: to look forward to the future. But if you can
Speaker 2: focus on the present, that that's where that piece comes in.
Speaker 2: And that was the big revelation for me last six months,
Speaker 2: is that is just being more present is giving me
Speaker 2: so much peace. I've been in so much peace, yet
Speaker 2: I'm going through like probably the darkest valley of my life,
Speaker 2: which is again ironic, but you know, it's that's sometimes
Speaker 2: when you go through these moments, you get revelations like that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's actually wonderful advice for anybody that you
Speaker 1: know might be experiencing something like this with their significant
Speaker 1: other or even a friend or you know. It's a
Speaker 1: tough place to be man, and I wish you guys,
Speaker 1: you know, all the best and praying for you guys
Speaker 1: every day and thinking about you all the time.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say one thing about gratitude is it
Speaker 2: it won't change your current situation, but it does change
Speaker 2: your heart, right, And when you have gratitude in your heart,
Speaker 2: you can't be worried, you can't be angry. You basically
Speaker 2: have love, joy, peace, you know, patient and goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness,
Speaker 2: and self control in your heart. And that's the importance
Speaker 2: of that gratitude and a simple exercise for anybody that
Speaker 2: wants to cultivate that in the morning. I do it
Speaker 2: all the time. Is seven questions I asked myself. A
Speaker 2: mentor mind taught me this is what am I happy about? Right?
Speaker 2: What am I excited about? What am I grateful for?
Speaker 2: What am I proud of? What am I committed to?
Speaker 2: What am I enjoying and what do I love? And
Speaker 2: then the sub question of that is what about it
Speaker 2: makes me feel that way powerful? Yeah? Seveny morning, I
Speaker 2: just asking myself those questions, And what happens is when
Speaker 2: you start looking, when you start answering those questions, your
Speaker 2: mind throughout the day will find answers to those questions.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, because you were pre programmed to worry all
Speaker 2: the time. So if you can sort of change that
Speaker 2: up by cultivating the gratitude, then it allows you to
Speaker 2: live inside out versus exterior in. So I like that
Speaker 2: exterior in For me from my own experience was I
Speaker 2: used to think that, you know, big houses, cars, women,
Speaker 2: alcohol brought me pleasure, I mean brought me happiness. And
Speaker 2: when I realized those things never brought me happiness, they
Speaker 2: brought me pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with pleasure. It's
Speaker 2: just knowing that because it's a sensation, it's always going
Speaker 2: to be unstable because in the scales of life, that
Speaker 2: pleasure sensation is always going to get balanced out by
Speaker 2: the pain and discomfort that you have to go through.
Speaker 2: So all that exterior stuff, eventually it's not going to
Speaker 2: give you happiness. But what gives you that happiness from
Speaker 2: my experience, is living inside out, which is that gratitude,
Speaker 2: cultivating gratitude and learning how to take a negative and
Speaker 2: turning it into a positive. So it's kind of the law.
Speaker 2: They call it the law of repurpose. So if you
Speaker 2: really think about when things are happening to you, there's
Speaker 2: you could always make a positive out of it. And
Speaker 2: that's what allows you to. Because life and pain are inseparable,
Speaker 2: You're going to have to go through pain. And the
Speaker 2: more you realize that pain is just part of life,
Speaker 2: it's and you can continue to go through pain, you
Speaker 2: realize that it's not hard anymore because you're you're used
Speaker 2: to going through it, and every time you go through
Speaker 2: it gets less and less harder for you to do it,
Speaker 2: so you embrace it. So for me, that's been it's
Speaker 2: been so key. I mean, it's probably the biggest game
Speaker 2: changer ever ever, is that cultivating gratitude. And I always
Speaker 2: tell people if you struggle with faith, increase your gratitude
Speaker 2: and you'll automatically have more faith. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's complex but very concise. There's so much
Speaker 1: in that statement you just made. I mean, from understanding
Speaker 1: that you know, cars and houses the big houses and
Speaker 1: how women and all that stuff is sort of in
Speaker 1: the materialistic sector, which never lasts. They never ever lasts.
Speaker 1: So when you have faith and you have confidence, and
Speaker 1: you have a wonderful relationship with yourself, you are open
Speaker 1: to have wonderful relationship with others that you can understand
Speaker 1: what true happiness is. Right, and true happiness starts with you.
Speaker 1: It's not relying on something or someone to make you happy.
Speaker 2: I love that you said that, because it's so the truth.
Speaker 2: If you're about truth, you're able to live in set
Speaker 2: out right techny right when you keep the promises you
Speaker 2: make to yourself. You don't need the you don't need
Speaker 2: the validation of the exterior to make you whole. And uh,
Speaker 2: and again there's nothing wrong with I mean, material stuff
Speaker 2: drove me for a long time until it didn't and
Speaker 2: then the spiritual drives you. And you can't fill a
Speaker 2: spiritual void with the material things.
Speaker 1: And I was like that too when I was younger,
Speaker 1: you know, I wanted that kind of drove me and
Speaker 1: motivated me to want the better things in life, you know,
Speaker 1: the better restaurants, the better cars and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: And now in my fifties, I'm looking back, I'm going
Speaker 1: was it worth it? Well? It was an experience. But
Speaker 1: what I really see that I'm opening up my eyes
Speaker 1: to is so many people out there living that chase life,
Speaker 1: like they have to identify themselves with the Mercedes or
Speaker 1: you know, some sort of materialistic thing, and they might
Speaker 1: even live in an apartment in Newport Beach but drive
Speaker 1: a Ferrari, you know. So that's so insignificant, But I
Speaker 1: understand it. I understand it because nobody has taught that
Speaker 1: person what really matters, and that's who you are.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: There's something that I realize also. That stuff can be
Speaker 1: taken away from you. You know, the government can come
Speaker 1: in and you know, claim that they own the land
Speaker 1: or tax the hell out of you, and suddenly you
Speaker 1: can't afford your house anymore. Somebody can steal your car.
Speaker 1: You know, all that stuff can get taken away. But
Speaker 1: your peace of mind, your true value of yourself and
Speaker 1: your family and what really matters your children. I mean,
Speaker 1: nothing can really take that away, that feeling of confidence
Speaker 1: like you have wonderful, wonderful people around you, you're a
Speaker 1: good person. Nobody can take that away. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: like knowledge. Nobody can steal your knowledge. You know, they
Speaker 1: can't get in your head and tax you because of
Speaker 1: what you know, at least not yet.
Speaker 2: What I love about when you said is reminds me
Speaker 2: of something that I always talk about it, which is
Speaker 2: when you can't control your talent, you could always control
Speaker 2: your virtue, right, you can always control your character, you know,
Speaker 2: So if you don't, you know, if you don't want
Speaker 2: to be ordinary, like, one of the ways that you
Speaker 2: can control being extraordinary is by your character. Yeah, because
Speaker 2: no one could ever take that away from you, right Yeah,
Speaker 2: And yeah, character is huge, and I think it's one
Speaker 2: of the ways you won't end up alone when you're old. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: what a I was just telling this to my friend
Speaker 2: the other day, Like I can't think of anything worse
Speaker 2: being old and being alone because you were always all
Speaker 2: about yourself, right, Because I'm telling you, I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't think when people don't care about you, it doesn't
Speaker 2: matter how much success you had. Like the last thing
Speaker 2: you want to do is listen to an old person,
Speaker 2: and there are things that they used to do before
Speaker 2: and how great they used to be before. Like nobody
Speaker 2: cares unless they actually care about you, right, Yeah, but
Speaker 2: you can have all the fame in the world, you
Speaker 2: can have all the success in the world, you end
Speaker 2: up holding alone. Yeah, I don't want that.
Speaker 1: You know. When I learned that, It's funny. I don't
Speaker 1: remember how. I was probably eight or nine years old,
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit younger, but watching cartoons and you know,
Speaker 1: watching Uncle Scrooge who has all the money in the world,
Speaker 1: but everybody hates them, nobody wants to be around him.
Speaker 1: It's like, that's not the life I want.
Speaker 2: It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: You can have all the money in the world, but
Speaker 1: no health, bad health. I've seen a lot of that too.
Speaker 1: I actually have friends that prioritize making you know, millions
Speaker 1: over their health, and a lot of them have sacrificed
Speaker 1: their relationship with their family to be successful.
Speaker 2: I was interested in your So you went through your
Speaker 2: health scare, right, and that was I mean, I can't
Speaker 2: think of anything worse. You know, you got brain tumors,
Speaker 2: but then you also have heart. Yeah, I mean a
Speaker 2: heart situation is just as scary as a brain tumor,
Speaker 2: I think, right, and you yours? And how was Tamra
Speaker 2: through that whole ordeal?
Speaker 1: You know, she held strong, and I think that's one
Speaker 1: of the other examples that really made me realize how
Speaker 1: strong she is as a woman. She's always there for me.
Speaker 1: She was there at the hospital. You know, she took
Speaker 1: me to the surgeries, she took notes, She really understood
Speaker 1: what's going on, and she helped me understand what the
Speaker 1: doctor was saying. It really was wonderful to have somebody
Speaker 1: like her. You know, she is my wife, but you know,
Speaker 1: our relationship it has always been solid and we support
Speaker 1: each other through it thick and thin. And this is
Speaker 1: this is one of the moments in my life where
Speaker 1: I'm like questioning, what am I going to do? What
Speaker 1: am I gonna do for the rest of my life?
Speaker 1: This is I always identified myself from a health perspective, right,
Speaker 1: I've always made an effort, more of an effort than
Speaker 1: than not to stay healthy, eat healthy, uh, stay away
Speaker 1: from bad foods, you know, stay away from alcohol. And
Speaker 1: I mean I did that stuff when I was younger.
Speaker 1: But I also realized when I was younger, I was
Speaker 1: pretty resilient. You know, I could wake up the next
Speaker 1: morning and go to work after drinking all night, and maybe,
Speaker 1: just maybe that lifestyle kind of contributed to my heart
Speaker 1: issue because I still today can't pinpoint exactly what happened
Speaker 1: to me. Doctors can't define that. It's it's mind boggling
Speaker 1: to me that we have such an amazing medical system,
Speaker 1: but they can't tell you what the cause of it is,
Speaker 1: you know. So now I'm back to living my normal life,
Speaker 1: but I've also taken it in a more conservative way.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing any high intense interval training. I'm not,
Speaker 1: you know, taking pre workouts. I stopped that a long
Speaker 1: time ago. Anyways, I'm real conscious about what I eat.
Speaker 1: I stay away from alcohol. I might have a drink
Speaker 1: once or twice a year, but even that I don't
Speaker 1: want to do because I know it's poison.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I'm doing everything I can to avoid potentially prevent that
Speaker 1: from ever happening again. Because after my surgery, and after
Speaker 1: the doctor said you're good, you get the Green bill
Speaker 1: of health. You're also you're back to normal, he said,
Speaker 1: but there's that one percent chance it'll come back when
Speaker 1: you're in your eighties, right, And I'm thinking, okay, well
Speaker 1: maybe by then I won't care. But ultimately, I don't
Speaker 1: want to ever live the life of an elderly you know,
Speaker 1: in my eighties nineties, I'm hoping to live that long,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to live my life on pharmaceuticals.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to rely on pills to
Speaker 1: keep me alive, or keep me active or you know,
Speaker 1: keep me thinking clear. So I'm doing everything and I've
Speaker 1: always have because of that. You know, I've always exercised regularly,
Speaker 1: I've always eaten regularly. And then this happens to my
Speaker 1: heart and it just spun my head.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Thank God for my wife that was there to help
Speaker 1: me get through this, and I feel like gotten through this,
Speaker 1: I feel I still have obviously a little trauma that
Speaker 1: deep down in the back of my head, like don't
Speaker 1: go too hard.
Speaker 2: So did you did the doctor tell you not to
Speaker 2: do high intensity workouts or was that your decision?
Speaker 1: That was my decision, you know. When it happened, no
Speaker 1: matter what I did physically, if I went for a run,
Speaker 1: or if I got on my bike, or hell if
Speaker 1: I just walked up some steep stairs, my heart rate
Speaker 1: would go into two one hundred and twenty beats for
Speaker 1: a minute, and it felt like I was caring like
Speaker 1: three hundred pounds on me and I couldn't take a
Speaker 1: step without running out of breath and it was the worst,
Speaker 1: the worst feeling I've ever had. And granted I've been
Speaker 1: in those situations when I was doing Spartan, I would put,
Speaker 1: you know, an eighty pound bucket full of rocks on
Speaker 1: my shoulders and climb a you know, a steep road,
Speaker 1: dirt road that was intentional. But when it's not intentional,
Speaker 1: you don't have a bucket on your shoulders, but just
Speaker 1: your own body weight. Yeah, it really just hurts, hurts
Speaker 1: your ego, hurts your your positive, you know train of thoughts.
Speaker 1: It hurts your strength, and you think, well, what's the
Speaker 1: point now? You know what? I honestly experienced a short
Speaker 1: bout of depression, and the biggest outcome from that was
Speaker 1: growing up you know, being you know, so motivated, so positive,
Speaker 1: and so I would say strong, I would I would
Speaker 1: hear people say I'm depressed, and I what you have
Speaker 1: to be depressed? We live in a beautiful country. We
Speaker 1: live you know, there's a lot of freedom, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of sun, there's a lot of good food, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of things you can do. So you're not depressed.
Speaker 1: Why are you depressed? And it made me realize that
Speaker 1: depression is a real thing and if you let it
Speaker 1: spiral you down. I never thought I would ever experience
Speaker 1: something like that, but it it experience that helped me
Speaker 1: open up my eyes. So when I do meet somebody
Speaker 1: that is going through depression, I can better understand them
Speaker 1: and better, you know, better understand them so I can
Speaker 1: say the right thing versus suck it up, you know,
Speaker 1: get out there and live your life right, versus well, let's,
Speaker 1: you know, put one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 1: Let's try to keep moving. Let's, you know, get some sun,
Speaker 1: let's go outside, and you know, let's let's just do
Speaker 1: something about it. But sitting back in a couch drinking
Speaker 1: or eating ice cream or you know, drinking alcohol or
Speaker 1: whatever it is that people kind of circcumb to definitely
Speaker 1: is the wrong path. But yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 1: the biggest scare in my life health wise, and all
Speaker 1: I could think of is I got to learn as
Speaker 1: much as I can to beat this, because I can't
Speaker 1: rely on a doctor or a healthcare system to get
Speaker 1: me through this. I have to do whatever I can
Speaker 1: on my own. And when I find the right doctor
Speaker 1: that I trust and believe based on my knowledge, now
Speaker 1: I will make a better decision about my health versus
Speaker 1: just sitting back, closing your eyes and saying, doc, do
Speaker 1: whatever you know, take you take care of my health. Right.
Speaker 1: That doesn't work. That doesn't always work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so no, I agree, And yeah I think I
Speaker 2: think for me, that would be probably the toughest thing
Speaker 2: that could the inability to just not be all work
Speaker 2: out again. I don't even know how I would deal
Speaker 2: with that, because a big part of my sanity is
Speaker 2: working out, right, That's been like my pill to relax
Speaker 2: is the working out. And then it doesn't matter what
Speaker 2: comes my way because I'm so relaxed, I can take
Speaker 2: on whenever it comes my way. So you not being
Speaker 2: able to do what you'd loved to do for ever
Speaker 2: since you were young. I could easily see how you
Speaker 2: can get depressed over that. So major props for you
Speaker 2: beating that, because that that I know wasn't easy, you know,
Speaker 2: especially you know we talk about validation, like, I'm sure
Speaker 2: a part of your validation I know for me has
Speaker 2: been I've always been fit, you know, and then that
Speaker 2: gets taken away. It's like, oh, shoot, you know, that's tough.
Speaker 2: It's not easy to do.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. There was this one eye opening example
Speaker 1: that happened to me right in the middle of my
Speaker 1: of the year that I was having this hard issue.
Speaker 1: I was doing Spartan training prior to that, you know,
Speaker 1: I made it very big effort to be in the
Speaker 1: best shape of my life so I can lead my
Speaker 1: Spartans through the race.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: And there was a particular race I really enjoyed taking
Speaker 1: my team too, and that was money. And every year
Speaker 1: we'd go out there and I'd you know, I'd lead
Speaker 1: the group and stay at the front and then go
Speaker 1: back and you know, help motivate people and then run
Speaker 1: to the front. I was basically in phenomenal shape and
Speaker 1: this one race, I said, I'm going to go. I
Speaker 1: have to go, because that was my mentality is it's
Speaker 1: kind of like what Teddy is doing with riding horses,
Speaker 1: you know, going through this, right, I totally understand that
Speaker 1: I have to I have to continue trying to be
Speaker 1: as normal as possible. Plus I signed up for this race, right,
Speaker 1: So we went out there Monterey started the race. I was,
Speaker 1: you know, a little ambivalent about it, but I did it.
Speaker 1: And halfway through the race, it just I went into
Speaker 1: a I started feeling kind of dizzy. I would go
Speaker 1: up a little hill and I would have to stop
Speaker 1: at the top, put my hands on my knees and
Speaker 1: catch my breath. And then I look up. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm the one that's holding back our team. I'm the
Speaker 1: one that's slowing everybody down, and I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: the leader here. And I felt so bad about myself
Speaker 1: at that moment. But I had a couple of people
Speaker 1: come up to me and say, don't worry. You know,
Speaker 1: we still love you, we still think you're amazing, but
Speaker 1: what you're going through is not easy. We're here for you,
Speaker 1: and they would stop there with me, they would walk
Speaker 1: with me when I needed to walk. Then we got
Speaker 1: through the race together and at the end, you know,
Speaker 1: we're all in tears, like, oh, I've we made it.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: Sort of a survival thing, right, But that moment, in
Speaker 1: that moment where I just looked up, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: holding everybody back here and I'm supposed to be the leader.
Speaker 1: It hit me hard. It hit me really hard. And
Speaker 1: like we talked earlier, I turned that around. I said
Speaker 1: I got to do something about this. I cannot let
Speaker 1: this beat me. I cannot. I cannot And even though
Speaker 1: that was one of the hardest races I've ever done.
Speaker 1: I came out of it thinking, Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do this. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to beat
Speaker 1: this disease. So hopefully Teddy sees that the same experience,
Speaker 1: you know, pushing through you know, the pain and pushing
Speaker 1: through the challenges, and maybe she'll have a moment where
Speaker 1: she just sees clarity and says, I'm gonna grab the
Speaker 1: bull by the horns if she hasn't already, and just
Speaker 1: take charge of this because I can't rely on anybody
Speaker 1: to fix me. I have to fix myself. You know,
Speaker 1: you need help, but you still have to take charge
Speaker 1: of your own health.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she's doing that. And you bring a
Speaker 2: good point, right, which is I think pain is inevitable
Speaker 2: and suffering is optional. Right. I think you suffer when
Speaker 2: you just sit around lament on why is this happening
Speaker 2: to me? And I feel so sorry for myself versus
Speaker 2: just like, hey, it happened, and now I just got
Speaker 2: to push forward. Right, And that's the difference I think
Speaker 2: between pain and suffering, because again, the pain is inevitable,
Speaker 2: and I think she's doing just that. What I've noticed
Speaker 2: about extraordinary people elade people versus average people is that
Speaker 2: we all get hurt, right, we all have to go
Speaker 2: through pain. But it's your ability to bounce back and
Speaker 2: how quick you can bounce back, right, Because everyone's going
Speaker 2: to get knocked down in life. That's inevitable. You're going
Speaker 2: to get punched in the face and you're going to
Speaker 2: get dropped. But it's how quickly you can get back
Speaker 2: up and continue to push forward, focusing on the things
Speaker 2: that you can control that make the difference. If you
Speaker 2: look at unfortunately, most people, when life punches them in
Speaker 2: the face and knocks them down, they take days, they
Speaker 2: take weeks, they take months too years to finally come back.
Speaker 2: Now you figure in a ten year time limit, like
Speaker 2: you're probably gonna get knocked down a large probably four
Speaker 2: or five times, right, some might even be twenty times
Speaker 2: in a ten year period. Right. And if you think
Speaker 2: about if you compare it to somebody who immediately springs
Speaker 2: back up and starts attacking, right, versus the person that
Speaker 2: just stays in the ground, stays on the floor for months, weeks,
Speaker 2: stays whatever years. That starts to compound over time. And
Speaker 2: what I've realized in life is that if you just
Speaker 2: learn how to play hurt and just show up the
Speaker 2: next day even though you don't feel like it because
Speaker 2: the day before you just got your ass kicked and
Speaker 2: some bad news. You continue to do that. You don't
Speaker 2: have to be the smartest person in the world. You
Speaker 2: just continue to show up every day how you feel,
Speaker 2: and you do the things that you're supposed to do.
Speaker 2: No matter how you feel, you're going to be pretty
Speaker 2: successful and you're going to do pretty well for yourself.
Speaker 2: But most people can't do that. As easy as that sounds,
Speaker 2: most people can't play hurt. The minute something goes wrong
Speaker 2: in their life. It's freaking days, weeks, months, years, and
Speaker 2: then when they finally recover, a year's pass them by again.
Speaker 2: You compound that over time, that other person that maybe
Speaker 2: wasn't as smart as you, wasn't as smart as you,
Speaker 2: is way ahead.
Speaker 1: Of Yeah, I think in one word is it's endurance.
Speaker 1: You know, having the ability to give back up and
Speaker 1: endure whatever it is you have to do to get
Speaker 1: to the other side. And sometimes it'll take you a
Speaker 1: day to get past it. Sometimes it'll take you ten
Speaker 1: years to really realize every single step I took for
Speaker 1: the last ten years got me to where I am today,
Speaker 1: and I made it, you know.
Speaker 2: So exactly. My favorite chapter in the Bible is the Proverbs,
Speaker 2: And even if you're not a person of faith, if
Speaker 2: you just go into Proverbs, it's just all about wisdom, right.
Speaker 2: And one of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs twenty four
Speaker 2: sixteen that says, though the righteous falls seven times, they
Speaker 2: will rise again, but the wicket will crumble when calamity strikes.
Speaker 2: Now that word seven, right, though the righteous will fall
Speaker 2: seven times seven stands for infinity. That means you're gonna fall,
Speaker 2: and you're gonna fall, and you're gonna fall. And I
Speaker 2: used to think, man, if I just become a person
Speaker 2: of faith, I won't have to go through pain. And
Speaker 2: what I realized, especially as I saw that proverb, was like, no,
Speaker 2: you have to. Everybody's got to go through it. And
Speaker 2: all you have to do is rise up one more time,
Speaker 2: you know, Yeah, And that's life. You's got to keep rising.
Speaker 2: You got to rise up one more time when life
Speaker 2: punches in the face, get up again, do it again.
Speaker 1: Well on that note, I love it.
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna close this out and say a
Speaker 1: prayer for you you.
Speaker 2: Know, appreciate it. Yeah, appreciate all prayers. Appreciate everybody that's
Speaker 2: you know, been praying force to get a lot of those.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can truly appreciate all your guys' support as
Speaker 1: well through his Instagram, through you know, your reviews. You know,
Speaker 1: this has been a tough one. But we're going to
Speaker 1: get through this, bro.
Speaker 2: Yep, So no, we will. We're confident.
Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome back, and I'm happy to see you.
Speaker 2: It's good to be back.
Speaker 1: And we'll see you on the next podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited for that one. We have a good
Speaker 2: one for sure.
Speaker 1: All Right, guys, have a wonderful day.
Speaker 2: All right, I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: See guys later.
Speaker 2: And the never penet