Speaker 1: Episode four thirty nine Frugal Friends book Club for self
Speaker 1: help books to read this fall.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity and life. Here your hosts Jen
Speaker 2: and Jill.
Speaker 3: Hey friends.
Speaker 4: Jill here with a quick apology that the audio for
Speaker 4: this episode will not be to the highest standards we're
Speaker 4: all used to. We were testing our video setup and
Speaker 4: the audio files were corrupted in the process. We thought
Speaker 4: it wasn't worth recording, and hopefully the lower quality doesn't
Speaker 4: detract from all the frugal stuff we're about to discuss.
Speaker 4: Not to fear, we will get our audio back up
Speaker 4: to impeccable shape so you can hear every joke and
Speaker 4: every tip with clarity, and stay tuned for some of
Speaker 4: that video we're testing.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are revisiting our
Speaker 1: book club. We are bringing it back and we are
Speaker 1: talking about four self help books. And these are not
Speaker 1: like self healthy, like woo.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Self help gets a bad rap, and honestly, I think
Speaker 1: it's a misunderstood genre and I think we have picked
Speaker 1: four books using our patented scientific method that will reclaim
Speaker 1: the genre.
Speaker 4: Are we sharing or patented scientific method yet? Or does
Speaker 4: that happen just before.
Speaker 3: Jump the guns?
Speaker 1: Okkay, let them wait, let them simmer.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm excited about this one because I'm actually in
Speaker 4: my reading era.
Speaker 1: She is.
Speaker 3: Y'all.
Speaker 1: If you have listened to any of our Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: book Club episodes before, you will sense a pattern between
Speaker 1: like who has read the books or any books at all,
Speaker 1: who's in the oldrem's bugs this song and this definitely
Speaker 1: is a This is an episode for Jill to celebrate
Speaker 1: Herreni era.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, more.
Speaker 4: On that in a bit, But first, this episode is
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Speaker 4: Just push your money in it, let it go out.
Speaker 3: I manta be done for you, Okay.
Speaker 1: So Frugal Friends book Club is something we have done
Speaker 1: since the inception of the show. Since episode one, we
Speaker 1: have had a book club in some way, shape or form,
Speaker 1: and so we started doing these episodes maybe about like
Speaker 1: a year or so ago where we would just do
Speaker 1: three times year, four books that you can read throughout
Speaker 1: the year. So if you want to do one one month, cool,
Speaker 1: if not, whatever you do you. So, we have a
Speaker 1: couple other episodes we have and they all have a
Speaker 1: theme now. So we have episode three thirty four where
Speaker 1: we talk about four money psychology books that was last fall.
Speaker 1: We have three sixty six where we talk about four
Speaker 1: minimalism and simple living books. And you can find all
Speaker 1: of our books that we talk about on the book
Speaker 1: club at Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash books, so that
Speaker 1: if you go to just singular book you will find
Speaker 1: the resources page for our book Buy what you Love
Speaker 1: Without Going Brooke. But if you go to slash Books plural,
Speaker 1: then you'll get you'll go to the Amazon page that
Speaker 1: has every book that we've had in every episode of
Speaker 1: book Club. And so we're not going to mention our
Speaker 1: book today though we do believe so it lives in
Speaker 1: the personal finance shelves like business all of that, but truly,
Speaker 1: just like our podcast, we believe we're a lifestyle podcast
Speaker 1: that talks about money. We really believe that by What
Speaker 1: you Love Without Going Broke is a self help or
Speaker 1: lifestyle book that focuses in on how your lifestyle affects
Speaker 1: how you should spend money. So buy what you lovebook
Speaker 1: dot com. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Speaker 1: And someday it'll be on the reading list. Yes, you
Speaker 1: can actually get it in your hands come January.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do pre order.
Speaker 1: It helps us, it does so much, all right, So, Jill,
Speaker 1: why don't you tell the listeners about our scientific, patented
Speaker 1: method for choosing the four books that we present in every.
Speaker 4: So I've been using it for so long, it's never
Speaker 4: let us downe It is four things, something old, something new,
Speaker 4: something borrowed, something blue.
Speaker 3: And for those of you.
Speaker 4: Who've ever been married, you might have heard about this.
Speaker 4: That's how you have good luck on your wedding day.
Speaker 4: It works for weddings, it'll work for bum right, exactly.
Speaker 3: Science. We have to tweak it a little bit.
Speaker 4: It'll be something older than five years, something newer than
Speaker 4: one year, something borrowed from our listeners, Yes we did.
Speaker 4: Last minn't pull the audience and see.
Speaker 3: What you all had to recommend. And then something with a.
Speaker 1: Blue cover, super which in past has been hard to find.
Speaker 1: But there are three blue covers on this list today,
Speaker 1: so we did not have a problem finding well two
Speaker 1: there's two blue covers.
Speaker 4: Some of them check off multiple yes, but let's start
Speaker 4: with something old.
Speaker 1: Or sold, something older than five years. And our pick
Speaker 1: for this one is the Body keeps the Score. So
Speaker 1: this one is from twenty fifteen, so definitely hits. The
Speaker 1: mark has the blue cover but doesn't need to. But
Speaker 1: so our reasoning behind recommending this book is that trauma.
Speaker 1: It's about trauma, so brain, mind, body, and the healing
Speaker 1: of trauma and trauma is a fact of life. So
Speaker 1: people deal with trauma in all on all ends, like
Speaker 1: areas of the spectrum. You know, sometimes it's more extreme
Speaker 1: than others, like veterans and their families dealing with you know, combat,
Speaker 1: but sometimes it's less intense than that, but it can
Speaker 1: still be considered trauma.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: We don't want to like negate or diminut people's experiences.
Speaker 1: And even if you haven't experienced trauma, to be able
Speaker 1: to understand other people who maybe have can really make
Speaker 1: strengthening relationships or figuring out if you need to leave
Speaker 1: relationships like a lot easier. It's never going to be easy,
Speaker 1: and this theme of relationships is actually the theme you'll
Speaker 1: see running through our choices for self I say that
Speaker 1: in quotations self help books, it is a theme you'll
Speaker 1: see today. So yeah, that is our biggest reason for
Speaker 1: choosing the book. I have actually read this one.
Speaker 3: She's in her reading era.
Speaker 4: Well, this was this is one that was kind of
Speaker 4: required reading both in my master's program. I'm also an
Speaker 4: adjunct professor, and so this is one of the textbooks
Speaker 4: required within that program as well for some of the
Speaker 4: trauma courses that I teach. So it's a good one,
Speaker 4: like you said, Jen, for whether you've experienced trauma or
Speaker 4: you know people who have experienced trauma, which is essentially everyone.
Speaker 4: I think it gives some really good insight into how
Speaker 4: trauma reshapes both brain and body, how trauma is experienced
Speaker 4: in the body, some of the ways that.
Speaker 3: We can heal from trauma.
Speaker 4: And experience restoration, and it's just some really good tangible
Speaker 4: things as well, so not just explaining the science behind it,
Speaker 4: but then also some interventions that previously were lesser known.
Speaker 3: Although yes, this book is.
Speaker 4: Now older than five years and so some of this
Speaker 4: research has now become more mainstream knowledge. But it's an
Speaker 4: excellent well written book. Highly recommend it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it talks about some of the things that
Speaker 1: we talked about and buy what you love about change
Speaker 1: your coping mechanisms, right like, so they talk about how
Speaker 1: sports and drama and yoga can offer these new paths,
Speaker 1: and we're coming These are now like not breakthrough ideas
Speaker 1: for the study of trauma, but they're not as talked
Speaker 1: about when you're talking about how do I reshape the
Speaker 1: way I think about spending money? So some of these
Speaker 1: things you can take because a lot, I mean a
Speaker 1: lot of people will have trauma even around money, like
Speaker 1: whether it's with their parents, bankruptcy, debt, all kinds of things,
Speaker 1: financial infidelity. So there's so much of this that can
Speaker 1: also be translated into things that will help you with
Speaker 1: your spending. I always have to like bring it back
Speaker 1: a little bit just because I think that you can
Speaker 1: relate everything back to money in some way.
Speaker 3: But yes, this is a.
Speaker 1: Foundational book I think for anybody who wants to be
Speaker 1: able to know themselves and relate to other people better.
Speaker 4: Next category is something newer than one year. So the
Speaker 4: book that we're recommending for this category is Super Communicators,
Speaker 4: How to Unlock the Secret Language of connection. So the
Speaker 4: synopsis goes, Come inside a jury room as one juror
Speaker 4: leads a starkly divided room to consensus. Join a young
Speaker 4: CIA officer as he recruits a reluctant foreign agent, and
Speaker 4: sit with an accomplished surgeon as he tries and fails
Speaker 4: to convince yet another cancer patient to opt for the
Speaker 4: less risky course of treatment. In Super Communicators, Charles Douig
Speaker 4: and come pronouncing that lends deep research in his trademark
Speaker 4: storytelling skills to show how we can all learn to
Speaker 4: identify and leverage the hidden layers that work beneath every conversation.
Speaker 4: So what we believe is going to come across in
Speaker 4: this book. I have not read this have you read
Speaker 4: this one?
Speaker 1: But it is once So I have read The Power
Speaker 1: of Habit, his book on habits, and I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: I use it. We use it now more that one.
Speaker 1: More in the book than even Atomic Habits, because it's
Speaker 1: kind of more. It's a simplified version, and I think
Speaker 1: it's a little more relevant.
Speaker 3: But yeah, we'll use.
Speaker 1: Both Charles Duhens and James Clear's like versions of the
Speaker 1: habit loop a little interchangeably depending on what we're talking about.
Speaker 4: So speaking of relationships, I think understanding how to form connections.
Speaker 4: We've done an episode on making friends in your thirties
Speaker 4: and recognizing and hearing from other people that it can
Speaker 4: be harder as you enter into different life stages, and
Speaker 4: so being able to understand some of the ways that
Speaker 4: we form connections.
Speaker 3: With people what makes for good relationship, good community.
Speaker 4: And one of the things I like it stands out
Speaker 4: to me of this synopsis is the storytelling aspect, and
Speaker 4: I find that I like reading books that do have
Speaker 4: they tie in. Different characters are different ways to be
Speaker 4: able to connect. So this sounds like there's a lot
Speaker 4: of different kind of storylines that are happening throughout the book,
Speaker 4: each one being able to offer. Oh I didn't so
Speaker 4: much connect with the Cia one, but I'm connecting with,
Speaker 4: you know, the surgeon's story. And I think good books
Speaker 4: will kind of allow opportunities like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, you might not.
Speaker 4: Have driven home the concept here with this story, but
Speaker 4: let's try it in another example with another story that
Speaker 4: you might connect with that probably has to do with
Speaker 4: forming good connections. So he's probably even weaving his own
Speaker 4: tactics throughout the book, which is which is cool and
Speaker 4: who doesn't love a good story blended with the self
Speaker 4: help piece. I think sometimes self help can feel a
Speaker 4: little dry to me, but where you're able to weave
Speaker 4: in real life stories, that.
Speaker 3: Helps a lot to get through it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think making friends and building connections in your thirties, forties,
Speaker 1: fifties is so hard, and I think one of the
Speaker 1: biggest ways we can help ourselves is to help ourselves
Speaker 1: by make to make those connections with other people. And
Speaker 1: so while a lot of the stories are ways to
Speaker 1: communicate with people, to communicate your idea clearly, I think
Speaker 1: what we can take away in this book is the
Speaker 1: last line of the synopsis is doing wants to get
Speaker 1: across that with the right tools, we can connect with anyone.
Speaker 3: I think it's that.
Speaker 1: Connection piece, and especially like for me, I have a
Speaker 1: more like sometimes I'll have like a more analytical mind.
Speaker 1: I want frameworks and I want things to have formulas,
Speaker 1: just to be very laid out, and I think that
Speaker 1: some like people are not formulas, and so sometimes that
Speaker 1: can make it difficult to connect to people. So this
Speaker 1: obviously is not going to offer you a formula for connection,
Speaker 1: but it can offer you some some kind of like
Speaker 1: guideposts to kind of recognize what conversations are you lacking having,
Speaker 1: So they're saying like he says that there are three
Speaker 1: types of conversations practical, so what's this really about? Emotional?
Speaker 1: How do we feel? And social? Who are we? And
Speaker 1: so you maybe after reading this book and figuring out
Speaker 1: these guide posts, you may able be able to see
Speaker 1: which conversations you're lacking and having with people, and maybe
Speaker 1: that's something you need to either have more with the
Speaker 1: people in your life or find people that you can
Speaker 1: have those conversations with and kind of guide where you're
Speaker 1: investing your time. Like I've had a recent season over
Speaker 1: the last few years where I have been looking to
Speaker 1: connect with new groups and it's just been hard, Like
Speaker 1: the people, it just hasn't felt right. And have finally
Speaker 1: found a place after looking for like three years in
Speaker 1: the midst of a pandemic, like have found a group
Speaker 1: of people that I feel like I want to invest
Speaker 1: the time into pursuing and investing in. And so like
Speaker 1: not every group of people or person is worth investing in,
Speaker 1: not they are worthy in themselves, but like it's just
Speaker 1: not if you know, it's not going to be like
Speaker 1: a good connection. You know it's not going to be
Speaker 1: so once you like find those people, it can give
Speaker 1: you these guideposts to invest more fully into these people
Speaker 1: and see when people are not wanting to invest fully
Speaker 1: in you and move on. Our next book is something
Speaker 1: borrowed from our listeners. So every time we do one
Speaker 1: of these episodes, we will post a poll on our
Speaker 1: Instagram and our stories, not a poll like a question yeah,
Speaker 1: and ask you what are your recommendations for whatever the
Speaker 1: theme of book that we are doing. And so I
Speaker 1: haven't read this one. Have you read this one?
Speaker 5: Joe?
Speaker 3: No? No, it is.
Speaker 1: Four thousand weeks, which we just put this story up
Speaker 1: like a couple like ten hours ago, so we'll say
Speaker 1: it is the only recommendation we've seen.
Speaker 3: Well, there were more that came through.
Speaker 4: However, I will say there were a lot of votes
Speaker 4: for Atomic Habits, which they even said because we had
Speaker 4: recommended it in one of these episodes in the past.
Speaker 4: So ok, yeah, okay, you talked about Atomic Habits. It's
Speaker 4: been one of our book recommendations in previous episodes. You
Speaker 4: all listen, do you've read it? You really liked it,
Speaker 4: so you circle back and set Atomic Habits.
Speaker 3: I loved it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we also want to try and introduce another
Speaker 4: recommendation from a listener.
Speaker 3: So this one sounded good to me, It.
Speaker 1: Really does, Okay, So the synopsis is drawing on the
Speaker 1: insights of both ancient and contemporary philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual leaders.
Speaker 1: Oliver Berkman, who's the author, delivers an entertaining, humorous, practical,
Speaker 1: and ultimately profound guide to time and time management. Rejecting
Speaker 1: the futile modern obsession with getting everything done, Four thousand
Speaker 1: Weeks introduces readers to tools for constructing a meaningful life
Speaker 1: by embracing finitude. I don't know if that I'm saying
Speaker 1: that right, Finitude showing that many of the unhelpful ways
Speaker 1: we've come to think about time aren't inescapable, unchanging truths,
Speaker 1: but choices we've made as individuals and as a society,
Speaker 1: and that we can do things different. And if that
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like an argument like that we have for
Speaker 1: values based spending like the one is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like a lot of mindsetly deeply cerebral.
Speaker 4: But one of the things it also mentions, I mean,
Speaker 4: the reason for the title four thousand weeks is if
Speaker 4: you live to about eighty years old. That's how many
Speaker 4: weeks you have to live. When you say it that way,
Speaker 4: it doesn't sound like that many. Sometimes life can feel
Speaker 4: so short, other times so long. Days drag out or
Speaker 4: they fly by, and it's it's a little bit daunting
Speaker 4: to measure life in that kind of way. But I
Speaker 4: think I appreciate perspectives like what I think this book
Speaker 4: is offering of how can we view the a lot
Speaker 4: of time that we've been given. Like you've said before, Jen,
Speaker 4: You've said often time is truly the only finite resource.
Speaker 3: That we have.
Speaker 4: Of course, you know money can feel limited at times,
Speaker 4: and natural resources are certainly limited, but our time especially,
Speaker 4: we can never get that back. And how can we
Speaker 4: then approach this in a way that is mindful of
Speaker 4: that reality, will also not becoming so depressed about that
Speaker 4: reality either.
Speaker 3: You know, that concept of like you never know how
Speaker 3: much more time you're going to be given.
Speaker 4: I think that could lead to an extreme of I'm
Speaker 4: just always trying to suck everything I can out of
Speaker 4: every single moment, and there's not a lot of longevity
Speaker 4: in that either. So I appreciate how it seems that
Speaker 4: this book is holding that tension the reality of the
Speaker 4: finiteness of the time we have with how can we
Speaker 4: embrace this?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, well one of our I think we've talked
Speaker 1: about essentialism in the book club before. It's a very
Speaker 1: similar concept that we're not go Like our culture is
Speaker 1: so obsessed with hustle and getting the most out of
Speaker 1: every minute that when you rest, it's almost like I
Speaker 1: feel guilty for resting because I should be doing something productive.
Speaker 1: And even these like online business gurus that I like
Speaker 1: listen to for years, or like you know, you do
Speaker 1: your nine to five and then you do your five
Speaker 1: to nine, and if you've got downtime in the evening,
Speaker 1: like you're working on your business, and you know, if
Speaker 1: you are not doing that, then you don't want success
Speaker 1: bad enough. Like and it's just especially for women, Like
Speaker 1: men can maybe afford to do all this because they've
Speaker 1: got wives watching their children and making their dinner. But like,
Speaker 1: you know, like the other way, Like those are the
Speaker 1: people who are saying these things, they have someone helping them.
Speaker 3: And like, so I have just been on this journey.
Speaker 1: Of like rejecting hustle culture and taking time.
Speaker 3: To rest and really be like embracing it and.
Speaker 1: Realizing it it is an internal need my self fulfillment
Speaker 1: and my rest and my health. My internal health, I
Speaker 1: guess is internal, but like my mental health is in need.
Speaker 1: And so this I really believe would be that kind
Speaker 1: of mindset shift book to to really like get you
Speaker 1: on a new path. So this is very interesting to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that somebody like recommended it does have blue
Speaker 1: on it, I will say.
Speaker 3: Wow, so well, speaking of something with a blue cover.
Speaker 4: Our fourth and final recommendation is Somehow Thoughts on Love
Speaker 4: by Anne Lamont. Her name came up a couple of
Speaker 4: times too in recommendations. I don't think this particular book,
Speaker 4: but yeah, that people recommend it so that she might
Speaker 4: be a familiar author to you all. So the synopsis
Speaker 4: is that the author explores the transformed of power that
Speaker 4: love has in our lives, how it surpast, surprises us,
Speaker 4: forces us to confront uncomfortable truths, reminds us of our humanity,
Speaker 4: and guides us forward.
Speaker 3: Love just won't be pinned down.
Speaker 4: It is in our very atmosphere and lies at the
Speaker 4: heart of who we are. We are, as Lament says,
Speaker 4: creatures of Love in every chapter of Somehow refracts all
Speaker 4: the colors of the spectrum. She explores the unexpected love
Speaker 4: for a partner later in life, the bruised and bruising
Speaker 4: love for a child who disappoints, maybe even frightens, the
Speaker 4: sustaining love among a group of sinners, wow for a community,
Speaker 4: and transition in the wider world. The lessons she underscores
Speaker 4: are that love enlightens as it educates, comforts and energizes,
Speaker 4: sustains as it surprises.
Speaker 1: Yes, so I picked so this was my pick for
Speaker 1: something newer because it is relatively recent. But then I
Speaker 1: also wanted to super communicators on here. But and Lamont,
Speaker 1: have you read this? I have not read this, but
Speaker 1: A Lamont's book Traveling Mercies truly changed my life in
Speaker 1: a pivotal season where things were really really difficult for me.
Speaker 1: So that was back in like two thousand and nine
Speaker 1: that I read that one, and since then I have
Speaker 1: been reading and LaMotte books. And She's gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: It's September of an election year, and it's time for
Speaker 1: us all to read a book about love so that
Speaker 1: we can strengthen our love muscles inside of us for
Speaker 1: the rest of the year. One of the greatest ways
Speaker 1: you can help yourself is to strengthen your love muscles.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that there is a better person,
Speaker 1: a more loving person to talk about love than a Lamott.
Speaker 1: She is just so wonderful. She is an angel among us. Wow,
Speaker 1: she really is. Yeah, I don't know much about her.
Speaker 1: Her name is familiar to me, but that's that's so
Speaker 1: great to hear. And what a good and timely encouragement.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna hear much.
Speaker 4: We like to keep our episodes ever green and for
Speaker 4: you all to be able to find a bit of
Speaker 4: a very focused maybe even bit of an escape here
Speaker 4: on this podcast, but we will encourage you towards strengthening love,
Speaker 4: strengthening your love.
Speaker 3: Where things are going nutty.
Speaker 4: Speaking of evergreen and love and the opposite of nutty,
Speaker 4: but maybe slightly unhinged.
Speaker 1: Well, before you get unhinged, we gotta wrap We gotta
Speaker 1: wrap up and restate the fourbook okay, and how they
Speaker 1: help you. How you can help yourself by reading each
Speaker 1: of the one. So the first one something something older
Speaker 1: than five years is the Body keeps a School Art
Speaker 1: and oh gosh, for doctor Bessel vander Kolk, by doctor
Speaker 1: Bessel vander Kolk. And this will help you maybe identify
Speaker 1: some of the smaller traumas in your life and understand
Speaker 1: how you operate, and also understand maybe the responses you're
Speaker 1: getting from other people, maybe the root cause of why
Speaker 1: that you got that response.
Speaker 4: We won't be able to move on and make significant
Speaker 4: changes in our behaviors and so we kind of understand
Speaker 4: what's going on on a deeper level. So then this
Speaker 4: would help with some of that deeper work that we've
Speaker 4: talked about in the past.
Speaker 1: Super Communicator Something Newer than one Year by Charles Dohog.
Speaker 1: This will help you have better conversations, more well rounded conversations,
Speaker 1: so when you find new people that you want to
Speaker 1: invest in that you can build stronger relationships faster. Because
Speaker 1: it's hard. We don't have a lot of time, so
Speaker 1: find some frameworks for how to communicate with people better,
Speaker 1: more well rounded. We've got something borrowed from our listeners
Speaker 1: four thousand Weeks by Oliver Berkman, and this will help
Speaker 1: you get out of the mindset of time management being
Speaker 1: all productivity, do everything for yourself, for your money, for
Speaker 1: your kids, do it all and just get out all
Speaker 1: the fluff and pretty much reset your mindset to know
Speaker 1: what's most important? What do I value most? I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're having trouble figuring that out, you'd have to
Speaker 1: read by what you love without going growth. So you
Speaker 1: find what you value, and then four thousand weeks will
Speaker 1: help you reset your mindset to prioritize that. And then
Speaker 1: our last something with a blue cover somehow thoughts on
Speaker 1: love by Anne Lamont will help you love bigger, greater,
Speaker 1: wider in this.
Speaker 4: Season, which I think leads to contentment, which helps us
Speaker 4: with how we approach finances and the decisions that we
Speaker 4: make around our finances. It can help to alleviate some
Speaker 4: stress and overwhelm, which stress and overwhelm can lead to
Speaker 4: not great well thought out intentional money decisions. So so
Speaker 4: much of when we work on various aspects of ourselves
Speaker 4: we can experience benefit.
Speaker 3: Then in these other areas, like our finances.
Speaker 1: All right, get on him speaking of benefits and helping
Speaker 1: yourself out.
Speaker 2: That's right, It's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 2: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 2: is Williams. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 2: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 2: that bill anymore. Dust bills Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton, this
Speaker 2: is the bill of the week.
Speaker 5: Hi Jed, Hi Jill. My name's Emily. I've been listening
Speaker 5: for about three ish years now, and my bill of
Speaker 5: the week is a soup sized Revere Wear pan. My
Speaker 5: mother found it for free and passed it along so
Speaker 5: that I have a soup pan and just really all
Speaker 5: of my Revere War pans were picked up by mom
Speaker 5: at various yard sales over the last twenty years in
Speaker 5: anticipation that her kids will move out of the house
Speaker 5: one day. There you have it, all of my pants
Speaker 5: secondhand and they work great. Have a great week.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Revere Wear heritage cooker. I've never built for generations.
Speaker 1: I have never heard of this. Oh, I guess.
Speaker 4: It sounds like a good It looks fancy.
Speaker 1: Wow, it looks real, real nice.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 4: This is a very met at bill because your mom
Speaker 4: is already picking up these pots and pants at yard sales,
Speaker 4: so buying them used sending them on down to her children,
Speaker 4: being kind while also ushering you at the doors.
Speaker 3: An amazing bill. And pots and pants are expensive, and
Speaker 3: when you've got some good ones, and you got to
Speaker 3: get the good ones.
Speaker 4: And when you have someone curating and collecting them for
Speaker 4: you already and secondhand. That's amazing. Yeah, what what good
Speaker 4: stories with pots and pants? I I've got my own
Speaker 4: issues going on with pots and pans at the moment.
Speaker 3: My big.
Speaker 4: Star fry what would be the pan? Like good, it's
Speaker 4: your regular pan, your big old frying pan. That but one,
Speaker 4: that's the word I'm looking for. It keeps warping and
Speaker 4: Eric keeps kind of leveling it out, banging it with
Speaker 4: a mallet.
Speaker 3: Because that's what YouTube says to do.
Speaker 4: But oh it doesn't stay that way because it's probably
Speaker 4: not that quick.
Speaker 1: But it's not made any Revere Wear is not made anymore,
Speaker 1: and it's a highly collectible.
Speaker 3: Brand of cookwear.
Speaker 1: WHOA, So your mom really did it?
Speaker 3: She really touched it.
Speaker 1: Really congrass Emily.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 1: Have to buy, Yeah, you don't have to get your
Speaker 1: all plaid or your whatever whatever. We have quison art.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what I have. I think it's.
Speaker 1: Catalon.
Speaker 3: That's that's what I have. I'm a canal. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: think I'm a quison art art. Yeah I say it.
Speaker 4: But anyways, you're you're having a dream though. I'm sharing
Speaker 4: your bill if you all listening. Have a bill you
Speaker 4: want to share, if it's about your mom collecting and
Speaker 4: curating timeless kitchenware for you, or you've gotta pay for
Speaker 4: it yourself, or your name is Bill and you make
Speaker 4: kitchen where who knows?
Speaker 3: Sky's the limit?
Speaker 4: This is a Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash Bill.
Speaker 3: Leave us your boo, and now it's time for.
Speaker 4: U.
Speaker 1: This is the part of the book club episode where
Speaker 1: we veer you away from non fiction into the land
Speaker 1: of fairies and dragons and other things that really they
Speaker 1: don't help your mind, they help your soul. So today
Speaker 1: this is usually the part of the show where I
Speaker 1: have a lot to say and Jill and.
Speaker 4: I'm staring blankly, like I there's a children's book I like,
Speaker 4: which I still do love children's books, don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wrong, okay, But today Jill has it like his
Speaker 1: session on lot.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have.
Speaker 4: Been so I speaking of community and connection and building
Speaker 4: relationships and finding benefit in that and learning even more about.
Speaker 3: The things that I value and enjoy.
Speaker 4: I joined along with you, Jen, We're part of a
Speaker 4: book club.
Speaker 3: We did not start it.
Speaker 4: Which is fun to not have to be like the
Speaker 4: spearheaders of something, but to get to.
Speaker 3: Join in on it.
Speaker 4: And we've been reading a lot of fiction within this
Speaker 4: book club, which has helped me to really zero in
Speaker 4: on what sorts of fiction do I enjoy, what types
Speaker 4: of It's not all fiction, some biography, but primarily fiction,
Speaker 4: historical fiction. Biography has been what we've read so far,
Speaker 4: and so've I've read about fifteen books.
Speaker 3: So far this year.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which I know a lot of people plow through
Speaker 4: so many more books than that, but that's a big
Speaker 4: deal for me on just like the reading that I
Speaker 4: do for work, so my I think one of my
Speaker 4: favorite fictions so far this year is The Grace Year by.
Speaker 3: Ye Kim Laigat And.
Speaker 4: It's honestly, it's kind of like why a fiction, but
Speaker 4: it was just a fun escape, kind of Oh what's
Speaker 4: the terminology? I always want to say apocalyptic, that's not it.
Speaker 4: Dystope Dystopian, yes, yes, so yeah. It's about a young
Speaker 4: girl kind of coming of age in this dystopian world
Speaker 4: where they send all the sixteen year old girls to
Speaker 4: release their magic into the woods and then come back
Speaker 4: and take a husband. Very kind of puritan culture and
Speaker 4: just kind of what happens relationship chips amongst females.
Speaker 1: I have to get that one in my lippy because
Speaker 1: I love Dystopian.
Speaker 3: I enjoyed it.
Speaker 4: It was I mean, don't go into that book thinking
Speaker 4: that you're gonna wholeheartedly learn something.
Speaker 1: It's just not the learning section, Jill. That's not where
Speaker 1: we are, because that's selection in the first half of
Speaker 1: the episode, page charter that I personally enjoyed. It's okay,
Speaker 1: be free, thank you?
Speaker 3: What else vulnerable? What else have you read?
Speaker 1: You can make You can make suggestions, and you can
Speaker 1: if you didn't like something, you can say that too.
Speaker 4: The fortunes of jaded women I did not care for.
Speaker 4: I would not encourage people to spend their time on
Speaker 4: that one. Just too absurd for me. I also enjoyed
Speaker 4: Transcendent Kingdom by Gayasi that I think is a specific flavor,
Speaker 4: though depending on like I connected with it deeply. I
Speaker 4: think because of some parallel experiences that one did feel
Speaker 4: a little bit more cerebral and cathartic for me. It's
Speaker 4: based on this PhD student who's studying essentially trauma and
Speaker 4: suffering and trying to determine if there are any kind
Speaker 4: of scientific methods that could be implemented to help interrupt
Speaker 4: addiction depression. So she's studying rats or mice, one of
Speaker 4: the two, while she's also navigating her own kind of
Speaker 4: difficulties with losing her brother and navigating her mom's depression
Speaker 4: and that kind of a thing. So it's a little
Speaker 4: bit heavier of topics, but I think deeply cathartic to
Speaker 4: kind of think through these various pieces of suffering. Which
Speaker 4: speaking of you know, the best vander Kolk book, The
Speaker 4: Body Keeps the Score. I think it can be helpful
Speaker 4: when we give ourselves opportunity to kind of dip into
Speaker 4: some of these layers and then pull back out with
Speaker 4: a more lighthearted book. But yeah, I enjoyed that one.
Speaker 4: What about you, jim Oh? Have my libby pulled up?
Speaker 1: So in the last three months I have read Bright
Speaker 1: Young Women by Jessica Nole. I really enjoyed that book.
Speaker 1: Part of it is because it takes place. It is
Speaker 1: a fiction book but inspired by real events, and most
Speaker 1: of it takes place in Tallahousee, Florida.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but it's a serial killer book, you do,
Speaker 4: like those more murderous ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's through the view of the victims of
Speaker 1: the serial killing. So it doesn't mention the serial killer's name.
Speaker 1: You can google it and figure it out very quickly.
Speaker 6: But based on real murders historical fiction. Yeah, but the murderers,
Speaker 6: like the characters are our fiction. But the murderers, the
Speaker 6: murderers reel, the places are real, the timeline is real
Speaker 6: for the most part.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that one was really good. We read The
Speaker 1: Lost Apothecary for the book club and we had mixed
Speaker 1: feelings about it. Yeah, it was okay, I would say.
Speaker 4: By authors from Saint Pete, which I did DM her
Speaker 4: to see if she wanted to come to her book club.
Speaker 1: She never spot and it's probably a good thing because.
Speaker 3: We were We talked freely about the book. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's it's all right.
Speaker 1: I like part of it. There's two storylines. One storyline
Speaker 1: I really loved and the other storyline I did not
Speaker 1: like at all, so it's hard. I read The Women
Speaker 1: by Kristin Hannah. I'm currently reading that well no, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, no spoilers, but it is one of her
Speaker 1: best books. The Nightingale still number one in my opinion
Speaker 1: by Christanna, but this one.
Speaker 3: Was very good.
Speaker 4: It's a hefty book. I'm reading it tangibly and is
Speaker 4: she a big girl. I don't know if I'm going
Speaker 4: to get through it. I think I have two book Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: the book is girthy.
Speaker 1: I went through a Bridgerton phase as everybody else did,
Speaker 1: early this summer, so I actually read Romancing Mister Bridgerton,
Speaker 1: which is the book that the third season is based on.
Speaker 1: You don't have to read the other books to like understand,
Speaker 1: so I didn't, Oh, no, where's my list? I just okay.
Speaker 1: And then just this month, I started the Throne of
Speaker 1: Glass series, which is a Sarah Jane Mass which who
Speaker 1: wrote a guitar accord.
Speaker 3: To firms the rest of that series. So I started
Speaker 3: her other.
Speaker 1: Series, Throne of Glass, and I have read Thrown of Glass,
Speaker 1: the first book, and Crown of Midnight. Wow. Actually just
Speaker 1: finished Crowd of Midnight this morning before I walked into
Speaker 1: through it.
Speaker 3: Now audio are primarily audio, right.
Speaker 1: I am only audios. I don't have time to sit
Speaker 1: down and read a book. I can listen to a
Speaker 1: book while I'm in the car, while I'm doing dishes,
Speaker 1: taking a shower, folding laundry. Yeah, yeah, I don't have
Speaker 1: time to sit down and read the book.
Speaker 3: I'm doing a combination at the moment.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it is nice to just wind down with a book,
Speaker 4: but it with the book club if I have time
Speaker 4: a time limitation. Audiobooks always a whole lot because I
Speaker 4: have to finish a book in a certain timeframe. But
Speaker 4: it does allow me to have like multiple books going
Speaker 4: at once. Like I'm listening to The Psychology of Money
Speaker 4: by Morgan Housel when I cook, and then I read.
Speaker 3: My other book.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it a popular opinion about the Psychology
Speaker 1: of Money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is very hard.
Speaker 1: It was very hard for me to get through.
Speaker 3: Didn't finish. Interesting.
Speaker 1: I read the article, so I like feel like I've
Speaker 1: read the book because I read it's based on.
Speaker 3: An article he wrote that one viral.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I have read the article, And for me,
Speaker 1: the book is just it's I And maybe it's because
Speaker 1: I am already familiar with the points that he's making,
Speaker 1: so it's just not I'm not learning anything. So it
Speaker 1: doesn't feel so if you I'm saying that for like,
Speaker 1: because it is such a big book, Like if you
Speaker 1: felt like you couldn't get through because you were bored,
Speaker 1: you're not alone.
Speaker 3: So interesting that you say that.
Speaker 4: I don't disagree to a point, and I could understand
Speaker 4: how that would be the case, Like I've gotten to
Speaker 4: points now in the audio version where I kind of
Speaker 4: glaze over. But I think it's because there's such specific
Speaker 4: statistics that are being given that are harder for me
Speaker 4: to digest a like audibly than it would be if
Speaker 4: I were reading it. And so I actually started the
Speaker 4: book in written form, like I started by reading it
Speaker 4: and really enjoyed it. I've actually enjoyed it less listening
Speaker 4: to it, and so I do wonder if it really
Speaker 4: helped personally for me to kind of take in some
Speaker 4: of the information and it's written for to really see
Speaker 4: kind of the stark contrast between these numbers and that
Speaker 4: numbers and this person situation and that person situation. It
Speaker 4: certainly has a lot to do with reading or learning styles,
Speaker 4: but I think when I was more engaged with it
Speaker 4: through reading versus like multitesking while listening, I was able
Speaker 4: to be more engaged. But even now I'm kind of
Speaker 4: getting to the point where I'm thinking it's a relatively
Speaker 4: short book, but it feels like yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: We get it. Yeah, let's move on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was an article, and it was a great article.
Speaker 1: It was a fantastic article, and it is.
Speaker 3: A long book.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, some really great concepts though I would
Speaker 1: recommend it, so a lot of those concepts we talk
Speaker 1: about and buy what you love without going broke, like
Speaker 1: more briefly, so it.
Speaker 3: Is, it's very good.
Speaker 1: But his is a lot of psychology of money, like
Speaker 1: as it relates to investing, and ours is as it
Speaker 1: relates to spending, which could be similar because you are
Speaker 1: essentially spending money on investments when you buy them, so
Speaker 1: there is overlap there. But I wanted to I wanted
Speaker 1: to round it out with one book that is not fiction,
Speaker 1: but it's not self help. It's I'm Glad my Mom died.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Loved that book and I thought it was really really fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't really like to put writings on people's own
Speaker 4: personal stories. I think it was harder for me to
Speaker 4: connect with that one since I didn't. I didn't, I
Speaker 4: didn't never watch I Carly, So I think sometimes I
Speaker 4: know that it was a very popular book, but I
Speaker 4: think primarily amongst people who knew who she was previously
Speaker 4: and get to enjoy some of the backstories, so I
Speaker 4: really had no context her life.
Speaker 1: I actually did not know who she was.
Speaker 3: But yeah, just kind of like the child star situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought, because I related to a lot of
Speaker 1: her feelings about her being more burros and just not
Speaker 1: as peppy as other girls like her wanting to write
Speaker 1: versus act or.
Speaker 3: Do you know.
Speaker 1: It's just like a lot of her personality I've very
Speaker 1: much related to and a lot of those struggles like
Speaker 1: being different was very much me and so I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed like reading that. So it was it was a
Speaker 1: fun read for me. So I hope that we gave
Speaker 1: you some fall recommendations, whether you're reading fiction.
Speaker 3: Non fiction, what have you.
Speaker 1: And if you enjoyed this episode, we would love if
Speaker 1: you would leave a rating and review. We love reading
Speaker 1: your kind reviews, especially this one from Aaron with a
Speaker 1: Quay The Only Money Related Podcast.
Speaker 3: I enjoy.
Speaker 1: Five stars. As a trying to be responsible grown up person,
Speaker 1: I try to keep on top of financial advice, but
Speaker 1: it always feels like a chore. Jen and Jill give
Speaker 1: me all the info I need, but I actually look
Speaker 1: forward to listening to and learning from them. Thanks for
Speaker 1: making a serious topic so much fun.
Speaker 4: Well thanks Aaron with a Kay love that review so
Speaker 4: appreciate it and thank you all for listening. If you
Speaker 4: also enjoyed this show and you haven't yet left us
Speaker 4: a rating, a review, it would be so so hopeful
Speaker 4: to us. So please do that wherever it is that
Speaker 4: you're listening. It helps others find us, It just helps
Speaker 4: us look like more credible, and it just helps Thanks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bye bye.
Speaker 1: Grugal Friends is produced by Eric Siriani.
Speaker 3: Jen.
Speaker 4: Yes, I had another very Florida experience. Y do you
Speaker 4: remember my cockroach story? Yeah, by Florida experience. Yeah, this
Speaker 4: one's adjacent to that. I was doing laundry, pulling my
Speaker 4: clothes out of the washing machine to go into the dryer.
Speaker 3: And as I.
Speaker 4: Pull some of the clothes out, my hand touches something
Speaker 4: like a little more hard and crunchy than what my
Speaker 4: clothes should feel like. Like, that's not right. So I
Speaker 4: dropped whatever it was that I was holding. Big old spider,
Speaker 4: no dead spider, obo, but right, because.
Speaker 3: It went through the wash big how big?
Speaker 4: Like okay, when it was dead and shriveled up, it
Speaker 4: was this big, like a little larger than to horder.
Speaker 4: So then imagine when it was alive. It had to
Speaker 4: have been one of those guys. You know, like the
Speaker 4: size of a what would that be?
Speaker 3: That's horrifying.
Speaker 4: It's all, yeah, it is so horrifying. And then of
Speaker 4: course my mind goes to, well, how did it.
Speaker 3: Get in there? Was it already in my clothes and
Speaker 3: the laundry that went into there? Did it crawl into
Speaker 3: the washing machine? That's what I want to believe. I
Speaker 3: don't know why.
Speaker 4: That feels better to me that like it had found
Speaker 4: its way into the washing machine and wasn't just lying
Speaker 4: in my laundry basket for forever feeding your from.
Speaker 3: Dead skin flakes.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, it just found its way into the washing machine,
Speaker 1: for sure. I find so many things in the washing machine.
Speaker 1: On a good day, it's a toy or a pen.
Speaker 1: On a bad day, it's a diaper or a pull up.
Speaker 1: But fun fact, just take the diaper out. It's gonna
Speaker 1: look like a mess. But when you put it into
Speaker 1: the dryer, the lint catcher will catch all of it. Like,
Speaker 1: you don't have to wash it again. The dryer will
Speaker 1: dry it all out. It'll be fine.
Speaker 6: Like I'm kinding on what kind of diper no, a diaper,
Speaker 6: like a diaper diaper?
Speaker 3: Like what was in the diaper original.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, no, we don't wouldn't be a poopy diaper.
Speaker 3: But you know that's just a regular diaper, okay.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what would have And I'm
Speaker 1: sure the same thing actually would happen with the with
Speaker 1: both times, but I would wash, it would rewash, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure, for sure? Uh yeah, I yeah.
Speaker 3: Spiders.
Speaker 1: I remember whenever I think of spiders, I think of
Speaker 1: the first or second summit that we hosted, the Proval
Speaker 1: Loving Summit, and our friend Caroline was talking about finding
Speaker 1: a spider and we were just all like, oh, spiders,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, spiders just burned to the ground.
Speaker 1: Burn it to the ground. And somebody sent me an
Speaker 1: email saying how she was so offended that we were
Speaker 1: promoting animal abuse like in our summit, and I we don't,
Speaker 1: we don't have.
Speaker 3: I didn't respond to it. I just I couldn't. There
Speaker 3: are people who kill spiders. People are down, and apparently
Speaker 3: we don't go back.
Speaker 1: And maybe that's why we need to read the Anbama.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why we need It's so true