WEBVTT - EP 337: Breakups & Friendships

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decisions.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of horri Bla. This

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<v Speaker 2>is young I'm your gready, b I'm BC.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back for another episode.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right before we start, though, I want to let

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<v Speaker 2>y'all pull says Hose. No, we coming to the motherfucker

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<v Speaker 2>South next.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, geet, Finally you know it's gonna be like Batty South,

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<v Speaker 1>but Horror as like, oh my god, not batty South.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be swinging again, bitch. Remember motherfucker Orlando. You

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<v Speaker 1>are not gonna be swinging. Oh well, tell their hold

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<v Speaker 1>on us. But comes from my mom and you go.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all go to horrorhid dot com. We promise not to

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<v Speaker 2>beat your ass at the horrible decisions. Climax Tour get

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<v Speaker 2>your tickets now for Orlando October twelfth. There are very

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<v Speaker 2>few tickets left, so get your motherfucking tickets. We are

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<v Speaker 2>also then going on the nineteenth to Atlanta, Georgia is

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<v Speaker 2>definitely going. Y'all can't get tickets for Charlotte because it's

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<v Speaker 2>been sold out.

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<v Speaker 1>Now instead of using a resales site, what I would

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<v Speaker 1>recommend the day of the show we'll make a post

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<v Speaker 1>where if you guys can't make it, you know you

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<v Speaker 1>can buy a ticket or Charlotte for sure and then

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<v Speaker 1>London October twenty eight at the Earth Theater at the

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<v Speaker 1>Earth Theater, so again, go ahead to hohorhive dot com

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<v Speaker 1>and get show motherfucker ticket to come see the motherfucker

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<v Speaker 1>Climax Tour. Peason.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn, this is really not gonna be monetized on YouTube.

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<v Speaker 2>Bought that motherfucking I gotta get my motherfucking mouth right

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<v Speaker 2>look at me and still saying, motherfucker God, damn it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that shit is real. Bro. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like there's so many rules, and I see

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<v Speaker 1>people on Instagram now they bleep out their words, they

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<v Speaker 1>do all this shit, and I'm like, uh, doesn't really

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<v Speaker 1>fucking work. Fuck it.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we just said fucking damn it and mow all again.

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<v Speaker 2>But I guess solo episode, no guest this week. So

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<v Speaker 2>we'll start with a quick catch up. And I actually

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<v Speaker 2>in therapy thought that, well, it came to an awareness

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<v Speaker 2>that I actually wanted to address here on this podcast

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<v Speaker 2>because where I'm trying to figure out, like the lessons

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<v Speaker 2>learned in this breakup one that drove to me was

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<v Speaker 2>the amount of empathy now and realization that I have

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<v Speaker 2>for women who maybe I judged, like through our home

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<v Speaker 2>mails or listening you know, or for me or you

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<v Speaker 2>or like well to me, it's more so the women

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<v Speaker 2>that keep going back that's more so the empathy or

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<v Speaker 2>really coming over a heartbreak in me, like not realizing

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<v Speaker 2>why they can't jump back. I think celibacy has also

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<v Speaker 2>been one of those journeys that women go on that

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<v Speaker 2>I don't understand. So I've shown up on this pod

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<v Speaker 2>lacking empathy because I genuinely didn't understand it because I

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<v Speaker 2>had never experienced it, and so really looking at it

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<v Speaker 2>as a lesson being learned from this relationship I think

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<v Speaker 2>has been one that I didn't acknowledge or even didn't

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<v Speaker 2>realize I had until you know, I was in therapy

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<v Speaker 2>going through the things that I'm learning. In hindsight, I

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<v Speaker 2>think more about my value, my worth, trying to get

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<v Speaker 2>back to trusting myself, but really more the understanding and

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<v Speaker 2>empathy of other women that I may have judged in

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<v Speaker 2>the past, or bitch, why can't you leave? How you

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<v Speaker 2>keep going back? It's so dumb? Why you can't fuck

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<v Speaker 2>your way through healing celibacy, So you don't want no

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<v Speaker 2>dick because this nigga did what And I was really

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<v Speaker 2>judging in how I think I responded to I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>even to be clear, like one of my best friends, Carla,

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<v Speaker 2>my mom, like my mom in her breakup, has been

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<v Speaker 2>sullivanting now for three years because of the damage that

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<v Speaker 2>that last relationship caused. And I was really unaware and

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<v Speaker 2>misunderstood in how a woman could go through those emotions,

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<v Speaker 2>and now going through it, I'm like, wow, damn, women

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<v Speaker 2>go through a lot. And so I just wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>apologize to everyone that I may have been like, bit,

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<v Speaker 2>you dumb, bit, you delusional, bitch, you weak, because it's

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<v Speaker 2>it's a lot to really go through a heartbreak, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I think that that's one of the things that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh wow, sorry, I never actually thought.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I think I've never there's been things

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<v Speaker 1>that maybe would annoy me, but I never believed it,

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<v Speaker 1>like I think, I mean, like I never believed that

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<v Speaker 1>you really thought that like I did. I thought was

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<v Speaker 1>the lod. I just didn't I believe that you have

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<v Speaker 1>such a hard exterior that like sometimes like you won't listen.

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<v Speaker 1>So like when we listen to stories about, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>people being in pain and shit like that, like I

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<v Speaker 1>think sometimes you can just only see through your own lens. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>well that's what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>And my own lens, unfortunately did not have the experience

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<v Speaker 2>of a real relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Or there was an episode where you told me, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>even during the pandemic, that you're an EmPATH, and I

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<v Speaker 1>remember thinking, like, no, she's not.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I mean for the people that I love, I am.

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<v Speaker 2>But and again, when I have the experience of feeling

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<v Speaker 2>something so understanding now, someone going through the loss of

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<v Speaker 2>a grandparent, I have that now because now I understand

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<v Speaker 2>what that feels like, or someone having someone close to

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<v Speaker 2>them battle cancer. I just went through that with my

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<v Speaker 2>best friend. I only can really realistically as a human being.

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<v Speaker 2>I can only see things through the lens of my

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<v Speaker 2>own experience a lot of times. And so even though

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<v Speaker 2>I listen to things, I never understood how someone could

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<v Speaker 2>go back to someone who was abusive. Now though I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't experience physical abuse, the emotional abuse one percent was there.

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<v Speaker 2>The manipulation was there. I saw the lies, I knew

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<v Speaker 2>the things he was doing, and I chose to ignore

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<v Speaker 2>it for whatever reason. And so now having experienced that,

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<v Speaker 2>now I can have empathy for the people that have

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<v Speaker 2>gone through that before. No, it didn't make sense to me.

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<v Speaker 2>How to fuck you can't leave somebody that's abusing you.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you with some that you have to question

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<v Speaker 2>that they love you? How can you say some or

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<v Speaker 2>why do you keep going back and repeating the same cycle.

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<v Speaker 2>That didn't make sense to me because I hadn't done

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<v Speaker 2>it before, And now that I have, there's just a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit more of understanding to what can be created

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<v Speaker 2>from these really strong emotional connections in a romantic relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think the thing that too, is like

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<v Speaker 1>when people embarrass you that you're dating, you almost have

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<v Speaker 1>no choice but to show your hand because it feels

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<v Speaker 1>like when I had been embarrassed in the past, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, like that was the number one thing. Like

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<v Speaker 1>I remember thinking, was I'm never going to get on

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<v Speaker 1>here and tell my business will all baby, because I

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<v Speaker 1>have to be done because I know what it's like

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<v Speaker 1>to look dumb. I know what it's like to be

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<v Speaker 1>embarrassed in front of his friends or those women that

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<v Speaker 1>he's sleeping with. Like I can't imagine when you're piping

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<v Speaker 1>somebody up to an audience and then you're like, never mind,

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<v Speaker 1>he aint shit like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Shit, it's tough, I mean to me, to me a

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<v Speaker 2>long time. But when we felt when things were good,

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<v Speaker 2>it felt so good. And I'm also one of those.

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<v Speaker 1>That know, I mean, it shows that you really didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know you'd go back.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, no, I mean I didn't you thought you would

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<v Speaker 2>go back after you were like the break up. The

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<v Speaker 2>breakups weren't on my behalf.

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<v Speaker 1>He was breaking up with me.

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<v Speaker 2>So when I was coming here, I was mad as

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<v Speaker 2>fuck that I was broken up with somebody that I

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<v Speaker 2>still wanted to be with. And so I think he

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<v Speaker 2>knew that.

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<v Speaker 1>You really came on this podcast being like he broke

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<v Speaker 1>and knew you would go back. The dick was great.

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<v Speaker 1>He was beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I would even when I would even that,

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<v Speaker 2>even when I would entertain other niggas, I would kind

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<v Speaker 2>of miss him a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>See, I'm not about to like I would miss him.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, but I'm gonna talk my shirt. No. But

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<v Speaker 1>you get very like I never couldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a hypocrite, And yes I would hypocrite.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh bitch. I Like there was a y'all see me

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<v Speaker 1>come on here, and maybe a one out of ten.

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<v Speaker 2>There was a part of me, I mean, but you've

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<v Speaker 2>gone back to like, uh, lover boy, you've gone back

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<v Speaker 2>to fucking him, You've gone back to hospital bay before.

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<v Speaker 1>There's yeah, But I never was like fuck this nigga,

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<v Speaker 1>Like obay, were you saying fuck this nigga? I was

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<v Speaker 1>really like, oh, she does people again.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it was a I have a very strong

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<v Speaker 2>emotional connection to this person, and a lot of the

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<v Speaker 2>times our breakups were to me unwarranted. But I also

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<v Speaker 2>realized in looking up like signs of narcissism and stuff

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<v Speaker 2>like that, like we were breaking up because I was

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<v Speaker 2>trying to hold him accountable, or I was questioning him

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<v Speaker 2>about things that he didn't want to give me an

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<v Speaker 2>answer for, or there was his insecurity was projecting because

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<v Speaker 2>a really big moment was happening for me, whether it

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<v Speaker 2>be a show, whether whether it be something that I

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<v Speaker 2>was really proud about or about to celebrate, a breakup

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<v Speaker 2>would happen in that moment to where he would try

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<v Speaker 2>to weaken me or bring me down. So I started

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<v Speaker 2>picking up the patterns now looking into that, it's just like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh wow, did this nigga even really ever love me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's crazy how the universe and maybe it's karma. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's the universe needing to show usself like I feel.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't got karma, even the bitch, like from what

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<v Speaker 2>I've said on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>No I know, I'm saying, like.

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<v Speaker 2>The bartender who sat in front of me and was like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I knew about all of his lovers, so I think

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<v Speaker 2>maybe he loved me more. I used to come on

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<v Speaker 2>here and say as a side chick that I felt

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<v Speaker 2>like my relationship to the married men meant a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit more because they were being honest with me and line.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's what I mean. I don't know if it's

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<v Speaker 1>karma or us needing to learn humility, Like I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if it's directly related to something bad you did

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<v Speaker 1>to someone, or if it's like the universe has to

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<v Speaker 1>teach you this lesson.

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<v Speaker 2>The universe my homegirl, that bitch be showing up for me.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's why I'm like, this is this is showing

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<v Speaker 1>up the way.

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<v Speaker 2>To get the lesson. But I don't think it's karma.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that I got in a relationship during a pandemic.

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<v Speaker 2>This was my first relationship I'm dating now that you.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't think it's karmen.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think it's karmack at all.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I know it was a girl.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm saying that the conversation with old girl was a

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<v Speaker 2>little to me karmick in my thought process with these

0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.800
<v Speaker 2>married men and how I'm showing up as a side chick.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, because now I'm viewing it a

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<v Speaker 2>little different, like, bitch, that nigga didn't love you more

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<v Speaker 2>because he was honest to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you have a moment where because you said you

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<v Speaker 1>don't think it was karmak, So for you, it's like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't do something to those women. You were just

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<v Speaker 1>sleeping with that dude, the married dude.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean to me, all of the lessons that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm learning in this relationship. And I brought this up

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<v Speaker 2>in therapy too. I dated very transactionally in my twenties.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that there was although I projected confidence, there

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<v Speaker 2>was a lot of insecurities because of my weight, because

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<v Speaker 2>of my finances, how I lived. I literally was bringing

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<v Speaker 2>this up in my twenties. I genuinely did not think

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<v Speaker 2>I would make a great partner. I would fucking nigga

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<v Speaker 2>for money. I did not have the best self confidence

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<v Speaker 2>because of my body and realistically, what was I bringing

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<v Speaker 2>to the table. I wasn't cooking for niggas. I didn't

0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.160
<v Speaker 2>really know or care to cook either. But also I

0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:14.360
<v Speaker 2>had roommates, so I was just in a place where

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<v Speaker 2>am I even girlfriend material? I'm not wife material at all,

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<v Speaker 2>And so I think that that's why I was having

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<v Speaker 2>the casual sex and the transactional sex I was having.

0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 2>But from the pandemic to us building these businesses and

0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.600
<v Speaker 2>how proud I am on myself and seeing how fucking

0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.080
<v Speaker 2>dope of a partner I was to this nigga, there's

0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.720
<v Speaker 2>a sense of Wow, I'm showing up as a whole

0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.480
<v Speaker 2>different person. Financially, I'm in a place I've never been.

0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.080
<v Speaker 2>I lived by myself. I've been living by myself for

0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:45.640
<v Speaker 2>the last few years, and I'm in the healthiest place

0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.200
<v Speaker 2>i've been as an adult. Like, so I'm now like, Wow,

0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:53.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm showing up now as a woman that I've never known,

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.080
<v Speaker 2>And so how do I make sure that I get

0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.440
<v Speaker 2>what I deserve? And I think I'm realizing I didn't

0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 2>think I deserved much from a lot, which is why

0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.520
<v Speaker 2>the crumbs he gave me the trash were trash, but

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>I was eating it up, like ooh, I'm getting so.

0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.720
<v Speaker 1>I know that nigga got you took your trash out

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:13.760
<v Speaker 1>more than I know anything else. I think the right.

0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:15.880
<v Speaker 2>And it was like, now that I look back at it,

0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:17.880
<v Speaker 2>that's the fucking barrelmentam bitch. I got a cleaner now.

0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Honestly, it is interesting that you say, like even I

0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 1>got sent a clip of you and I was like,

0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:27.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't even believe, like this is somebody I work with.

0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:32.520
<v Speaker 1>And I remember it was maybe before or maybe it

0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.440
<v Speaker 1>was after you experienced a loss, and it was like, damn,

0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:39.800
<v Speaker 1>you really have to go through some shit. You said

0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 1>that if someone's parent died, you wouldn't care. They would

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 1>have to like still come to work or you'd find

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 1>someone else.

0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:50.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm not gonna lie. That's still I ain't

0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.920
<v Speaker 2>changed with that thought process, Like I think there needs

0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 2>to be communication. You could have grievance, but is someone

0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.080
<v Speaker 2>else gonna pick up your shift? Like I can have

0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:01.560
<v Speaker 2>empathy and still want my fucking business. Fran, Like I

0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:05.679
<v Speaker 2>can't you sa I still bo you said they were

0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:09.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean everyone's still replaceable. In my mind, you think

0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:12.160
<v Speaker 2>what you went to have a loss like that hasn't

0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.480
<v Speaker 2>lost on me. But I still run a business. I

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.560
<v Speaker 2>still come from a very corporate mindset. I have empathy,

0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.839
<v Speaker 2>but do I have someone? Is someone else going to

0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:21.000
<v Speaker 2>pick up for you? I'm going to give you a

0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.840
<v Speaker 2>couple of days. Can I afford in my businesses to

0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:27.520
<v Speaker 2>give somebody grievance of three months not to come into work.

0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.280
<v Speaker 1>No, Arens, But that's what I'm saying.

0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 2>So you can go to the funeral, yes, But if

0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.320
<v Speaker 2>you just need all this time and can't show up

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.560
<v Speaker 2>to work because you're grieving, I gotta let you go.

0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 2>That's still the way I put business. And empathy is

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.840
<v Speaker 2>different than what I'm talking about regarding empathy with emotions

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 2>and relationships.

0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it works like that. I think we

0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:52.080
<v Speaker 1>have to have empathy. Being an empathetic person means in

0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:56.319
<v Speaker 1>every aspect. Because what you're going through right now, this

0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:59.439
<v Speaker 1>is just a breakup, and you know how it's completely

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.240
<v Speaker 1>like shifted you You even said a few episodes ago,

0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:03.880
<v Speaker 1>like I don't even know if I know myself, Like

0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 1>I still don't losing a parent, I mean, I can't relate.

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm very close to my parents, Like I don't know,

0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 1>but I mean I know with the people that work

0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.080
<v Speaker 1>for me. I'm just thinking, like there's no way, I mean,

0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.240
<v Speaker 1>Eden lost his mom, who would I be to be

0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 1>like not thinking that he needs all the time in

0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:20.560
<v Speaker 1>the world. I don't need him to figure out the

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.040
<v Speaker 1>next shift. Like I think we have to really choose

0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.640
<v Speaker 1>our words wisely and think about what we're saying, because

0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.960
<v Speaker 1>when something happens to you and your world crumbles, it's

0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 1>a lot easier to move on from it when you're better.

0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:35.440
<v Speaker 1>So like a year from now.

0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 2>Still need still need to get paid, even if you're

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:42.680
<v Speaker 2>if you're grieving, like life and everything around you still

0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 2>moves on. So to me, there is, of course a

0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.280
<v Speaker 2>grieving period. You have to go to the funeral, you

0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:50.600
<v Speaker 2>have to go to the wake. That's fine. But to me, no,

0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 2>someone saying I need two months off to grieve, Okay,

0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:57.840
<v Speaker 2>that's not going to work for my business structure. Like

0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 2>I really wish you, I hope the best for you,

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.720
<v Speaker 2>and I want you to heal, of course, but no,

0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:06.560
<v Speaker 2>when I think business, unfortunately, I'm still very corporate white

0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 2>man CEO. It's an awful way to think. I know,

0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:14.000
<v Speaker 2>but I come from the space of corporate America, where Okay,

0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 2>well I still need someone to get the job done.

0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:18.400
<v Speaker 2>So I hate that you're experiencing this, but someone else

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:18.920
<v Speaker 2>has to come in.

0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 1>And do it.

0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.320
<v Speaker 2>So actually that clip is still very much me in

0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 2>that sense, like you're complating my views on how to

0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.640
<v Speaker 2>operate and run my business. And the empathy there.

0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:29.280
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, you talked about loss, that's why.

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Well with the empathy that I have, though for people

0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:38.040
<v Speaker 2>grieving a relationship and moving on, that's completely different. Like, yeah,

0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.000
<v Speaker 2>I lost my grandpa and I came in and went

0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 2>and spent time with my mom and sister and grandma

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.000
<v Speaker 2>and flew right back and had to record the next day.

0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Like but that's my way of viewing work. Work is

0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.880
<v Speaker 2>very important for me. But also I talked about it

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:57.520
<v Speaker 2>with my therapist. Work is where I find peace and

0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:01.240
<v Speaker 2>the stream and distraction to not think about my grief.

0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Like literally coming in here a couple of weeks ago

0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:07.960
<v Speaker 2>and talking about not knowing myself and celibacy and all

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:09.880
<v Speaker 2>the things I found out about my ex, I broke

0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 2>into tears. When I'm working, like really working on things,

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:14.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to think about my relationship.

0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 1>You know what else people do I think as a

0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.040
<v Speaker 1>way to distract themselves, But it's not always the smartest

0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 1>way partying, Like I think you don't do that filling

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 1>your schedule with work for me, with events sometimes, like

0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:28.760
<v Speaker 1>if you're going through a breakup, that's not always the

0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:30.680
<v Speaker 1>best thing, Like if you don't learn how to just

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 1>like sit by yourself. Like I've met so many men

0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.080
<v Speaker 1>more than women actually, that are constantly with a homeboy

0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.040
<v Speaker 1>or like doing something or they've always got a plan.

0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you'll never just go to movies by yourself.

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.160
<v Speaker 1>You'll not how to just go have dinner by yourself,

0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, how to just do anything? Like I think

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:53.800
<v Speaker 1>that that's another key thing too that I implore anybody

0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.480
<v Speaker 1>listening going through a breakup, you almost feel in the beginning.

0:16:57.480 --> 0:16:58.760
<v Speaker 1>I get it, we need our friends, we need a

0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:03.200
<v Speaker 1>girl night out whatever, But being alone is the thing

0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:05.720
<v Speaker 1>that will get you over the hump. Because once it's

0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.959
<v Speaker 1>all said and done and you got to sit and

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:11.159
<v Speaker 1>be alone, do you like who this person is? And

0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:13.360
<v Speaker 1>if you don't, you got to learn how to like them.

0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.439
<v Speaker 2>So I've been and I've been doing that more Like

0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I go to bar class I do yoga, I'm meditating.

0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.800
<v Speaker 1>Now, there's a park by my house. It's good.

0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:22.680
<v Speaker 2>So I walked down to the park the other day

0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.320
<v Speaker 2>and it's right on the water where I'm looking at

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:25.159
<v Speaker 2>all of Manhattan.

0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Bitch.

0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I brought a blunt and was just out there smoking,

0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:32.119
<v Speaker 2>just looking at like people watching. And I love spending

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 2>time with myself because I'm always around people's That's something

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I've been.

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.199
<v Speaker 1>Doing that can recharge you too. Oh, I love it.

0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:38.760
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.920
<v Speaker 1>That's why I like, bitch. I had plans every day

0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:41.359
<v Speaker 1>this week.

0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm recording seven episodes in a week, like, which is

0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:47.960
<v Speaker 2>above like what I've even put for myself. But last

0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.880
<v Speaker 2>week I only recorded one episode because I was traveling.

0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:53.639
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, I'm going above and beyond. And I

0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 2>had plans on Friday, and I said, bitch, I canceled

0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:58.439
<v Speaker 2>the plan this morning. I said, actually, no, I need

0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.359
<v Speaker 2>a day to myself before I traveling.

0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:00.640
<v Speaker 1>Done.

0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.280
<v Speaker 2>So I said, girl, I hate to do this to you,

0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.879
<v Speaker 2>but gotta cancel. Friday is my day to not be

0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 2>around anyone. I'm gonna go get my nails done, my

0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:09.399
<v Speaker 2>toes done.

0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 1>You know. I had to give a break to the phone,

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.560
<v Speaker 1>like literally yesterday I thought about remember you do this

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.720
<v Speaker 1>text I sent a nigga and I felt kind of bad,

0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.600
<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I just don't like how much

0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:26.160
<v Speaker 1>I need to keep up with him, so that's real.

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.399
<v Speaker 1>He I was like, having a stressful work day, and

0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.840
<v Speaker 1>then he called me a few times and I was like,

0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:34.000
<v Speaker 1>while you were working, no, no, no, I had a stressful

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 1>day with something in the day before, and then he

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.359
<v Speaker 1>was calling a check on me. I said, hey, I

0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:40.439
<v Speaker 1>know you're feeling ignored. I had a rough weekend and

0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm starting to feel a little bit of pressure with

0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.320
<v Speaker 1>everything I have going on, and when I have a

0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.080
<v Speaker 1>lot of happening, I don't want to have a conversation

0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:48.480
<v Speaker 1>even though we just met. And I understand I've been

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:52.119
<v Speaker 1>talking to you often. I need to slow down. Oh

0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.480
<v Speaker 1>what was his response to that? He said, it's okay, Gila,

0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.560
<v Speaker 1>I understand, take the time you need, but like, okay,

0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:00.439
<v Speaker 1>people like and women do this too, so please attention

0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.240
<v Speaker 1>to what I'm saying. When someone says they need space,

0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:07.720
<v Speaker 1>it's genuinely because they do, but there's a slight thing

0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:10.120
<v Speaker 1>of that in there, of you annoying them, and sometimes

0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:14.000
<v Speaker 1>you're annoying them by being too Are you okay? Are

0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.440
<v Speaker 1>you okay? Are you okay? Like, please let me come

0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:18.480
<v Speaker 1>to you. I do not like.

0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 2>That, Okay, I don't want every time.

0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:23.080
<v Speaker 1>I leave, And a lot of people think that if

0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:25.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying I'm recording till three thirty today, I'm with

0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Mandy today. This was another tex I'm a meeting with Mandy.

0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm recording until three thirty. Okay, cool? Do you want

0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 1>to meet up for lunch at four thirty? Which I

0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:37.000
<v Speaker 1>understand you think that's my free time. It is, but

0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.560
<v Speaker 1>for you, you.

0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.720
<v Speaker 2>Know what I'm saying, like or I mean, sometimes when

0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:42.680
<v Speaker 2>you have a pack busy day, you don't want to

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:44.919
<v Speaker 2>stack it and know that you have to give you

0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:48.840
<v Speaker 2>have to keep giving the output to people. Also don't

0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:50.760
<v Speaker 2>want anybody else to feel offended by this, But I

0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 2>think people need to hear this because there's a lot

0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:54.120
<v Speaker 2>of cleanness in my life.

0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:56.520
<v Speaker 1>As someone that lives into cities. People feel like they

0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:58.479
<v Speaker 1>gotta while you're here for these two weeks, take all

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.720
<v Speaker 1>your time. It's too much a bitch.

0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I'll be tell now do we travel, especially with the tour,

0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.000
<v Speaker 2>I will let people know, hey, I'm here for work.

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:09.080
<v Speaker 1>If I don't see you. I don't see you.

0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.720
<v Speaker 2>But I'm like, every time I travel, people want me,

0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:14.200
<v Speaker 2>let's do lunch, let's do dinner, let's grab drinks. And

0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:16.960
<v Speaker 2>it gives me anxiety to have to battle all of

0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.639
<v Speaker 2>these personal relationships on a busy work So I.

0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:21.080
<v Speaker 1>Just did it to sham Booty and I didn't even

0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 1>realize I did it. Really, she was talking, she called

0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:26.280
<v Speaker 1>me about something I saw. She was in New York.

0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:28.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, how long let's grab a

0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.679
<v Speaker 1>quick lunch. And I'm like, bro, why would I like,

0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 1>I live in the same city as this bitch. Why

0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:37.720
<v Speaker 1>am I doing this to her? And it's in my brain.

0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh, this is what you do. But it's

0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:39.720
<v Speaker 1>too much.

0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:40.440
<v Speaker 2>So I agree.

0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:43.760
<v Speaker 1>The thing I was gonna say about cleaniness, what was it? Oh?

0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:47.200
<v Speaker 1>And also the time that I might be spending online

0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:50.520
<v Speaker 1>is the time that's just for me. It's for myself.

0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 1>A conversation is a lot of work sometimes when you're overworked.

0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:55.760
<v Speaker 1>And the other thing I want to say, this I

0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:58.280
<v Speaker 1>feel like, is vital. This happened to me twice with

0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 1>other men. It was Alex and Andre. I was with

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.400
<v Speaker 1>alex Es Central Park with Nina and yesterday I rode

0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:09.000
<v Speaker 1>bikes with Andre. These are two my platonic friends. While

0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:11.639
<v Speaker 1>I told other people I was busy or had plans,

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:13.720
<v Speaker 1>I didn't really do much right. I just rode a

0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:15.320
<v Speaker 1>bike went to the park. I don't need to talk

0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:16.640
<v Speaker 1>to these niggs all the time because I hang out

0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:18.800
<v Speaker 1>with them all the time. Sometimes I have friends that

0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:22.399
<v Speaker 1>I can do nothing around. Benny is probably the top

0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:24.720
<v Speaker 1>friend of that. Bennie and I cannot talk for hours

0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:26.679
<v Speaker 1>and be in the same room. A lot of people

0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:33.160
<v Speaker 1>need to fucking what's it's too much? If I want

0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:35.120
<v Speaker 1>to be in the presence of another friend, I can

0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.879
<v Speaker 1>do that. You know what I'm saying By being chill,

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.679
<v Speaker 1>I almost feel like the way that I could describe it.

0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.840
<v Speaker 1>If you think you're that person, imagine being on vacation

0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:46.240
<v Speaker 1>and someone filling up your schedule. If you're someone that

0:21:46.359 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 1>doesn't like to have a schedule, that's what you feel like.

0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:53.760
<v Speaker 1>So please, if there's anybody that you know that's been

0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 1>asking you for space, you're probably eating a little annoying,

0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:57.159
<v Speaker 1>just a little bit.

0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:04.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, guys, this is a full vanilla shit episode for

0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:06.560
<v Speaker 2>our horrible decision. So we're gonna go ahead and start

0:22:06.600 --> 0:22:10.040
<v Speaker 2>off with hope facts, and I've found this really cool

0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:14.399
<v Speaker 2>kinky facts from history that you probably are completely unaware of,

0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 2>And so I'm gonna run down this seven. Let me

0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:20.440
<v Speaker 2>know if you knew that these things were real existed,

0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:23.199
<v Speaker 2>and maybe why they didn't teach us it, because I

0:22:23.240 --> 0:22:25.679
<v Speaker 2>would have loved to know that one of the most

0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:32.120
<v Speaker 2>famous pharaohs of ancient Egypt, Tuta k two ten Kumona.

0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:34.920
<v Speaker 2>You know, I don't know goddamn names like this. Oh wait, wait, wait,

0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 2>you're talking about the most famous one.

0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:37.359
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, I tut to.

0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:44.600
<v Speaker 2>Come on two ten coming. His mammafied body actually has

0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.359
<v Speaker 2>an erected penis, which stands upright at almost a ninety

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:49.240
<v Speaker 2>degree angle.

0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:51.400
<v Speaker 1>I can I can already.

0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:53.840
<v Speaker 2>Know why maybe this wasn't taught to us. While we

0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:57.119
<v Speaker 2>think about not the big dick it is?

0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:57.520
<v Speaker 1>It is?

0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 2>It actually looks short and stubby. Not to talk about

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:02.160
<v Speaker 2>a dead mummy.

0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:04.840
<v Speaker 1>But it's supposed to be a song. Well, they just

0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:10.720
<v Speaker 1>as an erected penis, so honestly interesting. I feel like

0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:14.000
<v Speaker 1>he did kind of like ask for it.

0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh that might have been in his will. Mama found

0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:19.679
<v Speaker 2>me with a big dick, Yeah, Mamma find me with that.

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Whole when I'm laid out from my dick cup straight

0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:24.479
<v Speaker 1>pointing to the heavens and the gods.

0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Bitch, bro shut the fuck up. Okay, number two. All

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:32.320
<v Speaker 2>the brothels in Paris closed for a day when Victor

0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Hugo died. Sex workers even draped their genitals in black

0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:43.640
<v Speaker 2>crape as a mark of respect. Now, black cray. That's crazy.

0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:46.639
<v Speaker 2>It spelt It spelt like crepe. Maybe it's crepe creep.

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.360
<v Speaker 2>What's a I don't know what a black crape is,

0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:52.560
<v Speaker 2>but it says black crate like a crpe. It says

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:55.359
<v Speaker 2>black crpe. But I don't know if that's like the

0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:56.760
<v Speaker 2>crapes like a little flat people.

0:23:56.760 --> 0:23:57.439
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it is.

0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:01.040
<v Speaker 2>It's probably not. Wrapping your genitals in a black pancake

0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:01.720
<v Speaker 2>don't make sense.

0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:03.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh, maybe a crape is a rapping, because a crape

0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:08.520
<v Speaker 1>is like, okay, look like no paper machet like a crape.

0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:10.960
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's called oh that's possible. Maybe not to pussy's

0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:11.760
<v Speaker 2>but maybe the dicks.

0:24:12.800 --> 0:24:13.159
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Another one in the eighteen hundreds. This is interesting because

0:24:17.400 --> 0:24:19.159
<v Speaker 2>I would love to know how they tested it. But

0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 2>one in fine, one in five Londoners had an sti so.

0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:28.199
<v Speaker 2>According to a paper published an Economic History Review in

0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:33.000
<v Speaker 2>the last eighteenth century, one in five London Londoners contract

0:24:33.040 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 2>contracted sorry syphilis by their mid thirties. The pan the

0:24:37.119 --> 0:24:40.000
<v Speaker 2>paper also suggests that a far greater number would have

0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:45.160
<v Speaker 2>contracted gonorrhea or chlamydiah than contracted simplists. Also, what fucking

0:24:45.160 --> 0:24:47.840
<v Speaker 2>the year is this, nigga? The eighteen hundred? It ain't

0:24:47.840 --> 0:24:54.040
<v Speaker 2>say which year, but y'all London niggas was fucking raw, nasty, filthy.

0:24:54.720 --> 0:24:56.679
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad they probably because in London.

0:24:56.680 --> 0:24:57.240
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm selib it.

0:24:57.280 --> 0:24:59.119
<v Speaker 2>I ain't gonna do nothing in London, all right.

0:24:59.200 --> 0:25:01.520
<v Speaker 1>The other one is, God, don't say that I'm not.

0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:03.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean universally universally acknowledged as the father of microbiology,

0:25:09.720 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 2>Anthony van Leewoonhoak discovered sperm by putting his own ejaculation

0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.879
<v Speaker 2>under a microscope. He did this right after culpulating with

0:25:18.920 --> 0:25:22.600
<v Speaker 2>his wife, before masturbation was considered a sin at the time.

0:25:22.680 --> 0:25:25.080
<v Speaker 1>How small, how tight is the my microscope? Because I

0:25:25.080 --> 0:25:27.520
<v Speaker 1>literally was thinking the other day, like if you can't

0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:30.120
<v Speaker 1>see it with the naked eye, because once I had

0:25:30.240 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 1>like come in my eye.

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:33.800
<v Speaker 2>You I know we talked about maybe thinking we could

0:25:33.800 --> 0:25:35.439
<v Speaker 2>see the sperm swim, But I now.

0:25:35.359 --> 0:25:37.160
<v Speaker 1>Even if I swin, it's like I see the light.

0:25:37.480 --> 0:25:39.680
<v Speaker 2>What is that I see? I see now, bitch, it's

0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:42.879
<v Speaker 2>just the stars of the light. Your pupils are becoming dilated.

0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 1>No, it's not stars, I see, little man, I'll see

0:25:46.040 --> 0:25:47.200
<v Speaker 1>some shit. Y'all niggas don't see.

0:25:47.320 --> 0:25:49.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, hold I find out you a alien?

0:25:49.520 --> 0:25:52.600
<v Speaker 2>How come? How come you see little things in the sky.

0:25:52.760 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 1>I can see a little bit. It's dust.

0:25:55.320 --> 0:25:57.919
<v Speaker 2>It ain't even bacteria. And I'm not playing with you.

0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:02.720
<v Speaker 1>What are the quiggly things? Am I? The floaters? Whoa see?

0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 1>I was not ready to read this. What I clumps me?

0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:12.120
<v Speaker 2>Cam just wrote eye floaters? Literally, the engineer just wrote

0:26:12.119 --> 0:26:12.720
<v Speaker 2>eye flowing says.

0:26:12.760 --> 0:26:15.200
<v Speaker 1>The focused light passes through the lens of your eye,

0:26:15.240 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 1>heading for the back of either retina, and it's clumps

0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:20.160
<v Speaker 1>of protein.

0:26:20.880 --> 0:26:23.800
<v Speaker 2>Bitch, And you do begining comed on in the protein

0:26:23.840 --> 0:26:24.640
<v Speaker 2>from the nut bitch.

0:26:24.680 --> 0:26:28.280
<v Speaker 1>Depending on your imagination, you could see them as worms, tadpoles, circles,

0:26:28.280 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 1>see through cource ferm. Once the protein clumps together, it

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 1>makes a flirter floater and it is a permanent part

0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:35.360
<v Speaker 1>of your eye.

0:26:35.800 --> 0:26:39.720
<v Speaker 2>You got nut permanently in yo eye, bitch, because I

0:26:39.760 --> 0:26:41.879
<v Speaker 2>can't see that. The only thing I see is this

0:26:41.960 --> 0:26:44.040
<v Speaker 2>lash glue. This bothered me, bitch. I can't stand these

0:26:44.080 --> 0:26:45.399
<v Speaker 2>trip lashes. I'm working through it.

0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:47.919
<v Speaker 1>I am working through it all right.

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:50.800
<v Speaker 2>Another one. Queen Victoria's sex life is no secret. Thanks

0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:54.400
<v Speaker 2>to her own diary. She used to vividly describe her

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:57.399
<v Speaker 2>love making with not only her husband, Prince Albert, but

0:26:57.560 --> 0:27:01.960
<v Speaker 2>also her cousin. By the way, as we know niggas

0:27:01.960 --> 0:27:06.400
<v Speaker 2>being gay. Julius Caesar that's right. He was every woman's

0:27:06.440 --> 0:27:10.359
<v Speaker 2>man and every man's woman. Julius Caesar was hit with

0:27:10.520 --> 0:27:16.160
<v Speaker 2>both men and women. He was infamously known as every

0:27:16.200 --> 0:27:19.240
<v Speaker 2>woman's man and every man's woman. He often cross dressed

0:27:19.520 --> 0:27:23.600
<v Speaker 2>and participated in several queer activities, and was said to

0:27:23.680 --> 0:27:27.440
<v Speaker 2>have a wild sex life. That's right, and last one,

0:27:27.480 --> 0:27:28.199
<v Speaker 2>this one's crazy.

0:27:28.320 --> 0:27:28.800
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Bunny ears used to mean that you were cheating on

0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:37.119
<v Speaker 2>your partner, so you know, when you know, you know,

0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:40.000
<v Speaker 2>when you're in a photo and you photo bomb someone

0:27:40.040 --> 0:27:44.520
<v Speaker 2>with bunny ears. So this might be cute and fun now, However,

0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:47.840
<v Speaker 2>the gesture back in the day represented the horns of

0:27:47.960 --> 0:27:50.600
<v Speaker 2>shame and actually meant that the person was cheating on

0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:52.719
<v Speaker 2>their partner. What would it would be a way for

0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:54.920
<v Speaker 2>someone to come and be like this nigga cheating has

0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:58.880
<v Speaker 2>niggas and you got the film developed and the ship

0:27:59.000 --> 0:28:01.959
<v Speaker 2>was like, oop that nigga.

0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 1>Little bitch, I need to go back. It takes some

0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:06.440
<v Speaker 1>pictures me and Old Bay in Mexico with the bitchy heating.

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:08.760
<v Speaker 2>It stop it? Oh was she out here like this?

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 1>No? Probably behind you like yup, fucking with your nigga, Maggie,

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:15.679
<v Speaker 1>probably do that Bati kids his stop bro. You know

0:28:15.760 --> 0:28:18.000
<v Speaker 1>what's so crazy when I really sit and think about

0:28:18.000 --> 0:28:22.600
<v Speaker 1>that shit, Mandy, this punk asshole Maggie was really calling

0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:28.280
<v Speaker 1>me trashy and ratchet when you're fucking uh huh some

0:28:28.520 --> 0:28:31.280
<v Speaker 1>nigga from across the way. That's fucking every bitch in

0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:34.359
<v Speaker 1>New York. And she know your husband with your trash

0:28:34.440 --> 0:28:36.639
<v Speaker 1>yet girl, and I saw text message where they were

0:28:36.840 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 1>supposed to go to Bali, but he canceled on her

0:28:38.680 --> 0:28:40.280
<v Speaker 1>because he fell in love with me, and she was like,

0:28:40.280 --> 0:28:42.240
<v Speaker 1>I wanna bring the GoPro. Simon bought it for me

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:46.000
<v Speaker 1>and the kids. Oh that's real trash, but you're a whore.

0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Horror might as well coming out of sea and speaking

0:28:49.520 --> 0:28:52.560
<v Speaker 2>of poor time for our wre Durner. I found this

0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:56.040
<v Speaker 2>on fatherly dot com and it's a tip I think

0:28:56.080 --> 0:28:58.720
<v Speaker 2>for both people, So let me know your thoughts on this.

0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:02.440
<v Speaker 2>A tip that I have to spice up and make

0:29:02.480 --> 0:29:07.080
<v Speaker 2>your sex life better is hanging out with your partner naked. Now,

0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I talk about how I used to go to the

0:29:09.080 --> 0:29:11.840
<v Speaker 2>nude beach and clearly sex clubs where of course you're naked,

0:29:12.160 --> 0:29:15.760
<v Speaker 2>but it says sure love that getting naked often operates

0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:19.280
<v Speaker 2>as a prerequisite for sex, but skin to skin contact

0:29:19.520 --> 0:29:25.040
<v Speaker 2>can also release oxytocin, a hormone associated with empathy, generosity,

0:29:25.120 --> 0:29:29.120
<v Speaker 2>and orgasm. Nudity is often also linked to body confidence,

0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:32.120
<v Speaker 2>so one set he found that spending more time naked

0:29:33.000 --> 0:29:35.640
<v Speaker 2>can help increased body image, which I used to say

0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:39.760
<v Speaker 2>as well self esteem and life satisfaction. So naturally, the

0:29:39.760 --> 0:29:43.080
<v Speaker 2>more comfortable we are with ourselves, the more comfortable we

0:29:43.120 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 2>will be with a partner, and that feat, small as

0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:49.080
<v Speaker 2>it may seem, will land you a lot more successful

0:29:49.440 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 2>sexual encounters. I agree with that, maybe watching Netflix naked

0:29:54.400 --> 0:29:58.760
<v Speaker 2>with your partner, maybe walking around the house. Don't motherfucking

0:29:58.800 --> 0:30:01.840
<v Speaker 2>cook bacon naked. I tried it.

0:30:01.840 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 1>It's dangerous.

0:30:02.760 --> 0:30:06.840
<v Speaker 2>It hurts. But maybe even just cooking scrambled eggs.

0:30:07.080 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no, no, no no. The apron naked is so hot.

0:30:09.920 --> 0:30:12.040
<v Speaker 1>The what listen? Then you ain't naked.

0:30:12.080 --> 0:30:13.600
<v Speaker 2>If you got an apron on, you hide in your

0:30:13.640 --> 0:30:15.960
<v Speaker 2>gut and ship. You need to enjoy your whole.

0:30:16.360 --> 0:30:19.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh, don't cook like that. No no, scrambled eggs, don't

0:30:19.600 --> 0:30:23.640
<v Speaker 1>be popping. I can't make eggs, so I wouldn't avocado toes.

0:30:24.040 --> 0:30:27.640
<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't make it naked. That's real love maintenance. Okay,

0:30:27.680 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 1>that's cute.

0:30:28.080 --> 0:30:29.760
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna spread avocado on the toes.

0:30:30.480 --> 0:30:31.200
<v Speaker 1>Love maintenance.

0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:33.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh here you go, go ahead and talk about how

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:38.480
<v Speaker 2>great and gourmet your avocado toast is. Can't relate that

0:30:38.880 --> 0:30:39.360
<v Speaker 2>is that shit?

0:30:39.440 --> 0:30:39.840
<v Speaker 1>Real simple?

0:30:39.880 --> 0:30:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Spread that motherfucker on the toes. Put a little uh

0:30:43.440 --> 0:30:46.880
<v Speaker 2>everything bago. Seasoning avocado toes is done. That's not how

0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:50.040
<v Speaker 2>mine goes. Oh you're making eggs and that's why come

0:30:50.120 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 2>back around.

0:30:50.720 --> 0:30:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, no I don't. I I to the

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:57.080
<v Speaker 1>cherry tomatoes and sliced it in the middle. Then I'll

0:30:57.080 --> 0:30:58.600
<v Speaker 1>do the red onions.

0:30:58.840 --> 0:31:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I do what it and look almost like talk about

0:31:03.120 --> 0:31:04.480
<v Speaker 2>all the things we do for our niggas in a

0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:06.200
<v Speaker 2>great way, and they still cheat it on our asses.

0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean, this is why at this point, you know,

0:31:10.000 --> 0:31:11.560
<v Speaker 2>just the everything bagels season and hunts.

0:31:11.680 --> 0:31:14.400
<v Speaker 1>No, I mean you have to order me breakfast. But

0:31:15.280 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 1>I do think, like I think this is also like

0:31:18.440 --> 0:31:20.720
<v Speaker 1>a weird, very weird era of dating where I mean,

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>obviously every podcast you know lately it feels like we

0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:25.280
<v Speaker 1>come on here and talk about how nigga ain'e shit.

0:31:26.000 --> 0:31:28.160
<v Speaker 1>I almost have like kind of leaned into it.

0:31:28.680 --> 0:31:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Just the niggas ain't shit, kind of just like you

0:31:30.680 --> 0:31:33.040
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't look like to lean into niggas not being shit.

0:31:33.240 --> 0:31:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Just having with expectations low Okay, not necessarily like of course,

0:31:37.920 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 1>intentional with dating, but not to the point where I'm

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:42.840
<v Speaker 1>just like, I know I want family and children, but

0:31:43.320 --> 0:31:46.520
<v Speaker 1>I understand the dating landscape is probably like winning a lot.

0:31:46.720 --> 0:31:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Does lowering your expectations mean you lower your standards?

0:31:50.680 --> 0:31:53.920
<v Speaker 1>No, they don't correlate. No, My standards are my standards,

0:31:54.240 --> 0:31:56.440
<v Speaker 1>and if I had lower standards, I'd already be married

0:31:56.440 --> 0:31:59.880
<v Speaker 1>with kids. Okay, so my expectations are lowered in the

0:32:00.080 --> 0:32:04.800
<v Speaker 1>sense of I'm not necessarily being disappointed. Yeah, and I'm

0:32:04.840 --> 0:32:06.920
<v Speaker 1>also not dating the same way that I used to.

0:32:07.200 --> 0:32:09.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm very good at focusing on one person at a time.

0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Now I kind of don't care for That's probably why

0:32:11.880 --> 0:32:13.400
<v Speaker 1>there are niggas blowing me up because I don't have

0:32:13.480 --> 0:32:19.600
<v Speaker 1>time to them because fucking other niggas. Also. I said

0:32:19.600 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 1>that to a man two nights ago, which I can

0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:25.160
<v Speaker 1>You said what to the man, and it's the man

0:32:25.160 --> 0:32:26.320
<v Speaker 1>that I'm most interested in?

0:32:26.560 --> 0:32:27.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you said what though.

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:31.440
<v Speaker 1>We were on the phone and I was like, I'm

0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:35.160
<v Speaker 1>starting to really just think we're not compatible and it

0:32:35.200 --> 0:32:36.800
<v Speaker 1>is the man I'm most interested in. He was like, oh,

0:32:36.800 --> 0:32:39.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't understand why. And I'm like, you told me

0:32:39.360 --> 0:32:42.320
<v Speaker 1>that you've been seeing some or sleeping with someone. I'm like,

0:32:42.360 --> 0:32:43.920
<v Speaker 1>He's like, asked me if I had other partners, and

0:32:43.920 --> 0:32:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I told him about badd okay, and he told me

0:32:47.360 --> 0:32:50.640
<v Speaker 1>about someone he sleeps with more consistently than others. I

0:32:50.680 --> 0:32:51.960
<v Speaker 1>was like, how long has that been going on for?

0:32:52.280 --> 0:32:54.760
<v Speaker 1>He said for a year. I was like, okay, how

0:32:54.800 --> 0:32:58.280
<v Speaker 1>does she feel out about it? And he's like, I

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:00.280
<v Speaker 1>mean she came to me at one point and said

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:03.160
<v Speaker 1>she want a commitment, but I told her like no.

0:33:04.080 --> 0:33:06.360
<v Speaker 1>I was like, so basically she's sticking around because she's

0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:09.280
<v Speaker 1>waiting for you to get waiting. She's definitely waiting. He

0:33:09.360 --> 0:33:11.480
<v Speaker 1>told me, like you're on some like feminist shit where

0:33:11.480 --> 0:33:13.360
<v Speaker 1>you feel bad for her. And he was like, I'm

0:33:13.480 --> 0:33:16.480
<v Speaker 1>very clear was what I want and don't want.

0:33:16.320 --> 0:33:18.760
<v Speaker 2>From her, And so he just doesn't want to be

0:33:18.840 --> 0:33:21.280
<v Speaker 2>with her. And I was like, well, he's still entertaining her.

0:33:21.320 --> 0:33:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I was like, but you realize like you're showing her that.

0:33:23.800 --> 0:33:25.120
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, I feel like what you're saying

0:33:25.200 --> 0:33:28.200
<v Speaker 1>is little immature, and he's like, I'm not being immature

0:33:28.240 --> 0:33:30.720
<v Speaker 1>at all. I think you're like worrying about something. He

0:33:30.760 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 1>didn't say it in rue with He didn't say like

0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:33.760
<v Speaker 1>that has nothing to do with you, but he basically

0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:38.959
<v Speaker 1>mean like she way she feels shouldn't bother you. And

0:33:39.000 --> 0:33:42.520
<v Speaker 1>he's like, I've been clear. She knows I'm seeing other people.

0:33:42.640 --> 0:33:45.479
<v Speaker 1>He's like, aren't you seeing other people? I was like, yeah,

0:33:46.000 --> 0:33:48.280
<v Speaker 1>but there's no man in my life that's like holding

0:33:48.280 --> 0:33:52.120
<v Speaker 1>on waiting for me. And I feel like from what.

0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:55.479
<v Speaker 2>You just said, she's waiting, but it's because you know

0:33:55.720 --> 0:34:00.080
<v Speaker 2>how women are, and we don't listen to niggas.

0:33:59.760 --> 0:34:01.280
<v Speaker 1>When they they tell us exactly what.

0:34:01.800 --> 0:34:06.080
<v Speaker 2>So to me, I wouldn't have empathy for that because

0:34:06.120 --> 0:34:09.960
<v Speaker 2>we so we do that, which is why with me dating,

0:34:10.040 --> 0:34:12.520
<v Speaker 2>And I said this on Patreon, I'm dating a little

0:34:12.520 --> 0:34:14.920
<v Speaker 2>bit more intentionally. If I talk to a man and

0:34:15.239 --> 0:34:17.200
<v Speaker 2>he's not in a place or he's iner, like if

0:34:17.239 --> 0:34:19.919
<v Speaker 2>he is telling me something that I don't want, even

0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:22.400
<v Speaker 2>on a sexual if I know that he can't keep

0:34:22.480 --> 0:34:24.879
<v Speaker 2>up with my sex drop, I don't want to even waste.

0:34:24.920 --> 0:34:26.640
<v Speaker 1>So I started compating. I didn't feel like we were

0:34:26.680 --> 0:34:30.719
<v Speaker 1>compatible because of his interest in dating other people like polyamory.

0:34:31.400 --> 0:34:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, he wants commitment with a lot of people at.

0:34:34.520 --> 0:34:37.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, well he said that, like he enjoys that and

0:34:37.560 --> 0:34:39.520
<v Speaker 1>like she's cool. I said, well, I'm telling you this

0:34:39.640 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 1>right now, I'm not. You're not Polly right, I was like,

0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:45.480
<v Speaker 1>or are you dating other people? I was like, So

0:34:45.520 --> 0:34:46.759
<v Speaker 1>if I ever for guys to a point where I

0:34:46.800 --> 0:34:48.520
<v Speaker 1>was very interested in you, this wouldn't be cool with me.

0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:50.879
<v Speaker 1>So I don't really think this is gonna work out

0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:53.759
<v Speaker 1>because I don't want to do this now.

0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:57.840
<v Speaker 2>Is this because of the last relationship? Because I remember, like,

0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:00.480
<v Speaker 2>I guess you considered it open, which she used to

0:35:00.480 --> 0:35:02.000
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh no, I would want him to take

0:35:02.000 --> 0:35:03.960
<v Speaker 2>a girl on a date, like I wouldn't want want

0:35:04.000 --> 0:35:05.960
<v Speaker 2>him to just fuck someone. So are you now saying,

0:35:06.000 --> 0:35:07.920
<v Speaker 2>moving forward you actually are seeking monogamy.

0:35:08.200 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've been saying that the last few hunts. Okay,

0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:15.359
<v Speaker 1>Like I have my life structure to where, okay, at

0:35:15.360 --> 0:35:17.440
<v Speaker 1>some point I can spend more time in New York

0:35:17.480 --> 0:35:19.080
<v Speaker 1>or more time in La, right, Like, it just kind

0:35:19.080 --> 0:35:20.200
<v Speaker 1>of depends where I meet that person.

0:35:20.200 --> 0:35:22.759
<v Speaker 2>And this means you're open as well then to a

0:35:22.800 --> 0:35:25.280
<v Speaker 2>relationship where you no longer can play with women.

0:35:26.160 --> 0:35:28.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, I mean if that person was down for

0:35:28.719 --> 0:35:32.080
<v Speaker 1>the threesomes, great, But I mean, look, I'm gonna keep

0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:33.839
<v Speaker 1>it a bean right now.

0:35:33.920 --> 0:35:36.520
<v Speaker 2>I do two weeks on a bean, butter apins out.

0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm just black, just kind of like that's a Mexican.

0:35:40.960 --> 0:35:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I keep my schedule down the middle because I think

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:44.759
<v Speaker 1>it's fair and now I move my parents felt late,

0:35:44.920 --> 0:35:46.560
<v Speaker 1>But bitch, if I met a nigg in La, I'd

0:35:46.560 --> 0:35:48.080
<v Speaker 1>be like, Mandy, these are the three days we're gonna

0:35:48.080 --> 0:35:50.160
<v Speaker 1>be horrible that I can do. It wouldn't be like, hey,

0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:52.799
<v Speaker 1>I've got ten days. Pick right, I'm trying to you know,

0:35:52.920 --> 0:35:54.280
<v Speaker 1>this is what I feel like. It's fair to everybody

0:35:54.320 --> 0:35:56.359
<v Speaker 1>right now with bitch of Blackball and look, fuck all,

0:35:56.440 --> 0:35:59.960
<v Speaker 1>y'all home for real and you know what, shout out

0:36:00.120 --> 0:36:03.440
<v Speaker 1>to Brianda because we were hanging out last week. No,

0:36:03.520 --> 0:36:05.520
<v Speaker 1>she's not dead. I've been joking about that. Yo.

0:36:05.640 --> 0:36:07.560
<v Speaker 2>Someone just texted me about her and was like, Yo,

0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:08.520
<v Speaker 2>what happened, old girl?

0:36:08.560 --> 0:36:10.480
<v Speaker 1>She fell off to earth? She really did. She's just

0:36:10.480 --> 0:36:11.399
<v Speaker 1>got on lune like.

0:36:11.360 --> 0:36:13.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think like as podcasters, like a lot of

0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:16.879
<v Speaker 2>people really enjoyed her pod and then it just yeah,

0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:18.920
<v Speaker 2>I heard from the internet from everywhere.

0:36:18.920 --> 0:36:22.399
<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I went, I did that. It felt really good

0:36:22.400 --> 0:36:23.960
<v Speaker 1>when I did it, so like I also get it

0:36:23.960 --> 0:36:25.759
<v Speaker 1>because she's like able to hold it out. No, we

0:36:25.760 --> 0:36:27.440
<v Speaker 1>were out, we were chicken, we were kicking it, but

0:36:27.840 --> 0:36:30.000
<v Speaker 1>we were at brunch. I was like, girl, it's so

0:36:30.080 --> 0:36:31.439
<v Speaker 1>nice to spend the time with jujus, but I get

0:36:31.440 --> 0:36:33.600
<v Speaker 1>wiped it up. I'm done. She was like, yo. She

0:36:33.680 --> 0:36:36.480
<v Speaker 1>was like, I hate when people act like their friends

0:36:36.520 --> 0:36:39.040
<v Speaker 1>owe them the world. Like if I get a man,

0:36:39.800 --> 0:36:42.000
<v Speaker 1>it's natural that I'm gonna have less time for you,

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:45.120
<v Speaker 1>and I'm I think that I'm going through that right

0:36:45.160 --> 0:36:45.880
<v Speaker 1>now with a friend.

0:36:46.920 --> 0:36:50.040
<v Speaker 2>I look, the friendship has completely changed because of her

0:36:50.080 --> 0:36:52.040
<v Speaker 2>relationship and a party.

0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:53.959
<v Speaker 1>Like herbility to bitch.

0:36:53.960 --> 0:36:56.080
<v Speaker 2>I ain't taught to her in months, and we used

0:36:56.080 --> 0:37:01.120
<v Speaker 2>to talk every day, and so I literally was just like, hey,

0:37:01.320 --> 0:37:04.400
<v Speaker 2>so that she lives with them, no, and so to me,

0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:07.359
<v Speaker 2>if that relationship ends, I want you to know you've

0:37:07.400 --> 0:37:09.319
<v Speaker 2>no longer created a safe space where I feel like

0:37:09.320 --> 0:37:11.520
<v Speaker 2>I can depend on you as a friend. The friendship

0:37:11.560 --> 0:37:15.520
<v Speaker 2>is ending, I actually will not be friends with anybody.

0:37:16.400 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 2>Our friendship will be demoted to association and you, I

0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:22.120
<v Speaker 2>won't show up for you anymore if you are the

0:37:22.160 --> 0:37:25.360
<v Speaker 2>type of woman who completely disassociates when you got a nigga.

0:37:25.440 --> 0:37:28.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm good. I'm not saying disassociated. I've always been

0:37:28.960 --> 0:37:30.919
<v Speaker 1>on phone. Let's talk for a second.

0:37:31.560 --> 0:37:34.239
<v Speaker 2>Let's let's say if the way you show up for

0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:37.480
<v Speaker 2>me as a person changes because you're in a relationship.

0:37:37.880 --> 0:37:41.040
<v Speaker 1>I how good showing up? Like in terms of if

0:37:41.080 --> 0:37:42.560
<v Speaker 1>she's not available to go out, how we.

0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Know how we communicate when I'm in your city, I

0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:47.560
<v Speaker 2>don't see you. I don't know about your life. Also,

0:37:47.960 --> 0:37:48.719
<v Speaker 2>if anybody.

0:37:49.320 --> 0:37:52.440
<v Speaker 1>We follow each other clearly life, let's dig into that

0:37:52.440 --> 0:37:53.439
<v Speaker 1>back because I don't like the thing.

0:37:54.520 --> 0:37:57.719
<v Speaker 2>We haven't spoken in months. You see my thoughtful ass captions.

0:37:57.760 --> 0:38:00.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm going fucking through it emotionally. You knew the relationship

0:38:00.920 --> 0:38:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I was just in. You met him, you knew how

0:38:03.160 --> 0:38:05.880
<v Speaker 2>much I loved him, and you clearly see me going

0:38:05.920 --> 0:38:08.640
<v Speaker 2>through it like I'm clearly going through.

0:38:08.480 --> 0:38:10.359
<v Speaker 1>It to all of my friends. She hasn't reached out

0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:13.040
<v Speaker 1>to you. She hasn't even checked on me my point.

0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:16.000
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, oh no, because you got a nigga.

0:38:16.160 --> 0:38:18.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, So I told her. I told her we

0:38:18.480 --> 0:38:21.239
<v Speaker 2>recently talked, and I was like, yo, I want you

0:38:21.280 --> 0:38:23.279
<v Speaker 2>to know, like, I'm not going to bang with you.

0:38:23.360 --> 0:38:25.400
<v Speaker 2>If this is how you continue showing up with this friendship,

0:38:25.560 --> 0:38:28.399
<v Speaker 2>and if this relationship means this much to you, wish

0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:30.120
<v Speaker 2>you the best, but it is I no longer will

0:38:30.160 --> 0:38:32.080
<v Speaker 2>be available to you. She said, We do, like we

0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:34.239
<v Speaker 2>have to talk because there's a lot she's making it

0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:36.280
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know if it's one of those where

0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:39.480
<v Speaker 2>she's embarrassed by the relationship and it's just been trying

0:38:39.480 --> 0:38:43.160
<v Speaker 2>to make it work so hard because niggas embarrass you,

0:38:43.239 --> 0:38:46.879
<v Speaker 2>and I know that as women we overshare such relationships. Sorry, well,

0:38:47.000 --> 0:38:48.680
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know if that's the case. I don't

0:38:48.719 --> 0:38:51.719
<v Speaker 2>know if he's been abusive. I found out after my

0:38:51.800 --> 0:38:54.319
<v Speaker 2>friends were in abusive relationships after the fact that they

0:38:54.320 --> 0:38:55.960
<v Speaker 2>were abusive because they were embarrassed by it.

0:38:56.400 --> 0:38:57.680
<v Speaker 1>So there's a lot of different reasons.

0:38:57.719 --> 0:38:58.959
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, well, I'd like to talk about

0:38:59.000 --> 0:39:02.200
<v Speaker 2>it because right now, from a selfish place, I don't

0:39:02.200 --> 0:39:02.960
<v Speaker 2>feel safe with you.

0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:05.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm in a space where I could This is a

0:39:05.320 --> 0:39:08.080
<v Speaker 1>good topic because we've been talking about breakups. Okay, So

0:39:08.120 --> 0:39:10.480
<v Speaker 1>here's a few things that I talked about with Brianda.

0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:16.959
<v Speaker 1>I said, you know, I'm I'm a girl's girl where

0:39:17.040 --> 0:39:19.279
<v Speaker 1>I like to share, and I want you to share

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:22.200
<v Speaker 1>with me and feel comfortable enough. Right Like, I have

0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:24.239
<v Speaker 1>a friend in my life that I've always felt like

0:39:24.280 --> 0:39:27.160
<v Speaker 1>hate things for me. We don't have any mutual friends.

0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:29.680
<v Speaker 1>It's not like I could share her business, but like

0:39:29.719 --> 0:39:33.040
<v Speaker 1>she'll get emotional and stop, okay. And I called Brionda

0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:34.920
<v Speaker 1>one day and I was like, why does she do

0:39:35.000 --> 0:39:37.120
<v Speaker 1>this to me? Why did she get to this point

0:39:37.120 --> 0:39:38.520
<v Speaker 1>where she feels like but.

0:39:38.520 --> 0:39:40.799
<v Speaker 2>She may feel to me it may feel like you're

0:39:40.800 --> 0:39:41.400
<v Speaker 2>gonna judge her.

0:39:41.520 --> 0:39:44.080
<v Speaker 1>It's vulnerability, right, yeah, And I was like, but I can't.

0:39:44.200 --> 0:39:47.319
<v Speaker 1>I can't do it, especially when I've shown myself. Right.

0:39:48.080 --> 0:39:53.080
<v Speaker 1>It's very, very, very tough for me to feel like

0:39:53.120 --> 0:39:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I have a woman in my life that just can't

0:39:55.080 --> 0:39:57.840
<v Speaker 1>or they're holding back. It's really really tough because with

0:39:57.960 --> 0:40:01.319
<v Speaker 1>my guy friendships, I don't go there that much. So

0:40:01.440 --> 0:40:04.279
<v Speaker 1>with my girls, I do write. So I was like

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:06.759
<v Speaker 1>that I don't like So when you just said not

0:40:06.880 --> 0:40:10.040
<v Speaker 1>knowing her life, it triggered me, yeah, because I was.

0:40:10.000 --> 0:40:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Like, that's that's a problem for me, especially when you're

0:40:13.000 --> 0:40:16.400
<v Speaker 2>a friend that we literally talked every day, we traveled together,

0:40:16.440 --> 0:40:18.720
<v Speaker 2>we made plans together, we did all these things together,

0:40:19.120 --> 0:40:22.960
<v Speaker 2>and then you got with this man and everything fucking changed.

0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:25.840
<v Speaker 2>That's hard, and it's it's been a relationship now. I

0:40:25.880 --> 0:40:27.879
<v Speaker 2>think they may be at like the ten month mark

0:40:27.960 --> 0:40:30.319
<v Speaker 2>or something, but I literally like had to tell her,

0:40:30.360 --> 0:40:32.560
<v Speaker 2>I said, that hurts me and I don't know what

0:40:32.600 --> 0:40:35.080
<v Speaker 2>this relationship looks like. But also the fact that I

0:40:35.080 --> 0:40:36.680
<v Speaker 2>feel like you haven't checked in on me and I

0:40:36.680 --> 0:40:39.120
<v Speaker 2>don't know anything about this partner. I don't know anything

0:40:39.120 --> 0:40:41.480
<v Speaker 2>about your life. For the last five months. That is

0:40:41.520 --> 0:40:44.200
<v Speaker 2>a problem for me. So and you might be demoted.

0:40:44.280 --> 0:40:46.680
<v Speaker 2>The friendship contract will be burnt. When I said that,

0:40:48.040 --> 0:40:51.480
<v Speaker 2>I expect less of their time. So've i said it

0:40:51.520 --> 0:40:52.120
<v Speaker 2>on Patreon.

0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:54.840
<v Speaker 1>But basically I think about this trip I took to

0:40:54.880 --> 0:40:57.160
<v Speaker 1>Ebtha a lot with my friends because it was random.

0:40:57.200 --> 0:40:58.960
<v Speaker 1>It was three days. I was supposed to be in

0:40:59.000 --> 0:41:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Europe for work. Oh you remember that, and then it

0:41:00.960 --> 0:41:02.239
<v Speaker 1>was like it didn't work out. Then we all go,

0:41:02.320 --> 0:41:06.120
<v Speaker 1>we partied. There was a nigga that told me I

0:41:06.239 --> 0:41:10.200
<v Speaker 1>was outside because he saw me in Spain. He was like,

0:41:10.200 --> 0:41:12.000
<v Speaker 1>oh you out, you're doing this. You ain't got time

0:41:12.040 --> 0:41:14.799
<v Speaker 1>for a nigga, And I was like, I'm time for

0:41:14.840 --> 0:41:17.360
<v Speaker 1>a nigga. Like if you were my nigga, I probably

0:41:17.360 --> 0:41:19.960
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be on this trip valid or you would be

0:41:20.000 --> 0:41:22.200
<v Speaker 1>here with me. If any of the people on the

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:25.080
<v Speaker 1>fucking trip I was on was not single, we wouldn't

0:41:25.120 --> 0:41:28.920
<v Speaker 1>have been together. We got a fucking huge villa with

0:41:29.080 --> 0:41:31.680
<v Speaker 1>three bedrooms and we had our own wings. Got back

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:34.600
<v Speaker 1>together at the pool talk shit went back like do

0:41:34.640 --> 0:41:35.720
<v Speaker 1>you understand I'm doing.

0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:36.920
<v Speaker 2>This because I'm saying because I'm single.

0:41:37.040 --> 0:41:39.719
<v Speaker 1>Now, what I mean by that is the friendships that

0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:42.920
<v Speaker 1>I have now, while great and fruitful, bitch, am I

0:41:42.960 --> 0:41:43.279
<v Speaker 1>get a man?

0:41:43.320 --> 0:41:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I ain't going to even right ballid bro.

0:41:45.960 --> 0:41:48.719
<v Speaker 1>I've traveled with three of my homeboys this summer to

0:41:48.840 --> 0:41:52.439
<v Speaker 1>Europe and fucking like a three times sorry with different friends,

0:41:52.520 --> 0:41:54.759
<v Speaker 1>just bouncing around like I'm not gonna be doing that shit.

0:41:54.880 --> 0:41:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree.

0:41:55.440 --> 0:41:57.600
<v Speaker 1>But when I was in Israel last summer and Alex

0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:00.560
<v Speaker 1>surprised me and we were like kicking it to I

0:42:00.600 --> 0:42:03.360
<v Speaker 1>can't imagine if I had a nigga while I'm eleven

0:42:03.400 --> 0:42:05.319
<v Speaker 1>PM watching TV with my own way and he's like,

0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:09.400
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck are you doing? Bitch? Things will change now.

0:42:10.280 --> 0:42:12.640
<v Speaker 1>I expect the same thing with my girlfriends, right like

0:42:12.719 --> 0:42:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I expect you of less time for me, and that's

0:42:14.640 --> 0:42:17.920
<v Speaker 1>totally okay because we're all busy. I don't really have

0:42:17.920 --> 0:42:20.000
<v Speaker 1>a friend who ain't busy, So I do expect if

0:42:20.000 --> 0:42:21.799
<v Speaker 1>you have some free time, don't take a trip to

0:42:21.800 --> 0:42:23.560
<v Speaker 1>your nigga for Labor Day, bitch, Why the fuck is

0:42:23.600 --> 0:42:26.760
<v Speaker 1>you coming with me to mom talk? Why? Doesn't make sense?

0:42:27.239 --> 0:42:31.080
<v Speaker 1>But I think there does need to be a healthy balance.

0:42:32.239 --> 0:42:35.520
<v Speaker 1>I've definitely made mistakes when I was younger, not with obay,

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.080
<v Speaker 1>but younger, younger where I was like, damn, I forgot

0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:41.600
<v Speaker 1>to like check on them or don't do this anybody.

0:42:42.440 --> 0:42:45.200
<v Speaker 1>When you do call your friends, it's because you need them.

0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:48.480
<v Speaker 2>But that's my point. I because when you break up

0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:50.560
<v Speaker 2>with this nigga, I'm not gonna be here for you

0:42:50.600 --> 0:42:53.480
<v Speaker 2>to lean on. And I just said a verbada like

0:42:53.520 --> 0:42:55.239
<v Speaker 2>you haven't been here for me as a friend. So

0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:59.080
<v Speaker 2>like the safety net of our friendship no longer exists.

0:42:59.520 --> 0:43:03.239
<v Speaker 2>If you can with a nigga and completely forget about ours,

0:43:03.640 --> 0:43:06.879
<v Speaker 2>I would say, our responsibilities emotionally as friends to each other.

0:43:10.400 --> 0:43:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Now, can I ask you this without you feeling like

0:43:15.560 --> 0:43:18.160
<v Speaker 1>it's a mean question, but be honest, because we've all

0:43:18.200 --> 0:43:24.400
<v Speaker 1>been there. Have you been someone that maybe is dumping

0:43:24.440 --> 0:43:25.920
<v Speaker 1>too much or too sad to talk to?

0:43:26.600 --> 0:43:30.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I think I'm actually the friend that That's why

0:43:30.200 --> 0:43:34.719
<v Speaker 2>I said during your breakup, like, but that's why I

0:43:34.719 --> 0:43:37.560
<v Speaker 2>have a therapist. Okay, I know I dumped quite a bit.

0:43:37.560 --> 0:43:39.239
<v Speaker 2>I mean, on my show, this is y'all are on

0:43:39.280 --> 0:43:41.319
<v Speaker 2>the journey with me. I'm gonna share with y'all, but

0:43:41.400 --> 0:43:42.160
<v Speaker 2>with my friends.

0:43:42.560 --> 0:43:44.280
<v Speaker 1>No, oh, you just do it to the listeners.

0:43:44.360 --> 0:43:46.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, quite a bit to the listeners, But I

0:43:46.200 --> 0:43:48.440
<v Speaker 2>have a therapist, like I've been working through emotionally.

0:43:48.680 --> 0:43:50.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, if you're not. When me and my.

0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:53.160
<v Speaker 2>Friends talk, bitch, we'd be talking about the housing market,

0:43:53.800 --> 0:43:57.600
<v Speaker 2>work jobs, the blog shit. We love gossiping about the

0:43:57.600 --> 0:43:58.160
<v Speaker 2>blog shit.

0:43:59.239 --> 0:44:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Me too. That's what me and my friends conversations.

0:44:03.960 --> 0:44:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Aren't dumping really, Like literally, my friend is back in

0:44:06.920 --> 0:44:10.200
<v Speaker 2>the hospital, like running tests because we don't know what's happening,

0:44:10.280 --> 0:44:13.080
<v Speaker 2>if cancer is back or anything. Like my other friend

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:16.959
<v Speaker 2>has a fucking ice cream shop. Shout out to Cereal

0:44:17.040 --> 0:44:20.360
<v Speaker 2>and Cream in Atlanta, So we literally talk about running businesses,

0:44:20.360 --> 0:44:21.480
<v Speaker 2>dealing with employees.

0:44:21.600 --> 0:44:21.719
<v Speaker 1>Like.

0:44:22.160 --> 0:44:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I love the conversations I have with my friends and

0:44:24.239 --> 0:44:27.279
<v Speaker 2>we oftentimes don't dump. I think that that's the great

0:44:27.320 --> 0:44:28.680
<v Speaker 2>thing we plan on this trip.

0:44:28.920 --> 0:44:31.960
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people. I'm not gonna do that Durana face.

0:44:32.080 --> 0:44:34.600
<v Speaker 2>And if you yourself, bitch, And that's why I told

0:44:34.640 --> 0:44:37.040
<v Speaker 2>you too, That's why I'm getting a sex and therapist coach.

0:44:37.080 --> 0:44:38.759
<v Speaker 2>I think that there's things my friends can't help me.

0:44:38.880 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Vinnie told me that it was our only real fight,

0:44:41.200 --> 0:44:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and it was years ago when I lived in Orlando

0:44:43.040 --> 0:44:45.440
<v Speaker 1>and I was breaking up with the Latino dude that

0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:48.200
<v Speaker 1>like loved Jesus and he was like, girl, you do

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:50.000
<v Speaker 1>not ask me about me? And I was like, oh

0:44:50.080 --> 0:44:52.640
<v Speaker 1>my god, and it's like it I'm telling you it

0:44:52.640 --> 0:44:55.840
<v Speaker 1>was eight years ago. It really was, and it literally

0:44:55.880 --> 0:44:59.839
<v Speaker 1>has lasted this long because I can't. If I even

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:01.879
<v Speaker 1>need to call him, I'll tell him like, oh, talk

0:45:01.880 --> 0:45:04.440
<v Speaker 1>about you, and he's like, real, just talk because I

0:45:04.520 --> 0:45:06.880
<v Speaker 1>really get scared to do that. You know what I'm saying, Like,

0:45:06.920 --> 0:45:09.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to ever be that person. So if like,

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:11.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, you feel like you may be doing that

0:45:11.480 --> 0:45:11.839
<v Speaker 1>right now.

0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:14.400
<v Speaker 2>No, I tell my friends all the time if you

0:45:14.400 --> 0:45:16.160
<v Speaker 2>don't want to hear this shit, cool, but I also

0:45:16.200 --> 0:45:17.959
<v Speaker 2>know not to. Like that's why I said, I'm getting

0:45:18.000 --> 0:45:20.640
<v Speaker 2>two people, two latest. I'm going to another lady to

0:45:20.680 --> 0:45:22.840
<v Speaker 2>talk to because bitch bring.

0:45:22.680 --> 0:45:25.239
<v Speaker 1>All the latest. They don't think about getting a male therapist.

0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't even trust them, niggas. I'm good.

0:45:28.640 --> 0:45:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Nope, I'm saying like it's two the accounter balance maybe yeah.

0:45:32.880 --> 0:45:35.239
<v Speaker 2>I mean right now, it's it's gonna it's my my

0:45:35.320 --> 0:45:38.840
<v Speaker 2>therapist now is a black lady and the person that

0:45:38.840 --> 0:45:42.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go to for sex and relationship coaching is

0:45:42.239 --> 0:45:43.080
<v Speaker 2>also a black woman.

0:45:43.239 --> 0:45:45.000
<v Speaker 1>I have two different therapists. I have one when I

0:45:45.000 --> 0:45:46.560
<v Speaker 1>want to be coddled and one when I want to

0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:47.440
<v Speaker 1>know what's going on my well.

0:45:47.440 --> 0:45:50.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how the sex and coach therapists will be.

0:45:51.080 --> 0:45:54.319
<v Speaker 2>But she is a lifestylar and she did do a

0:45:54.400 --> 0:45:56.640
<v Speaker 2>year of celibacy, and the partner she has now she

0:45:56.760 --> 0:46:00.520
<v Speaker 2>found after her journey of celibacy. So to me, there's

0:46:00.640 --> 0:46:04.040
<v Speaker 2>just some relatability and maybe what my journey may look like.

0:46:04.160 --> 0:46:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Liz great to talk to celibacy about. I actually told

0:46:07.680 --> 0:46:11.000
<v Speaker 1>her recently. I was like, just fucking act on your body.

0:46:11.120 --> 0:46:13.680
<v Speaker 1>Just fucking do it. Fuck these niggas, well, not niggas,

0:46:13.680 --> 0:46:15.040
<v Speaker 1>because but you know what I mean.

0:46:15.320 --> 0:46:16.200
<v Speaker 2>I was like, just do it.

0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:20.720
<v Speaker 1>And I remember thinking to myself, like damn, we're laughing

0:46:20.719 --> 0:46:22.240
<v Speaker 1>about it on the phone and having a fun moment.

0:46:22.280 --> 0:46:24.719
<v Speaker 1>She was like in London, traveling, but I was like, ooh,

0:46:24.760 --> 0:46:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if that was triggering because she's really serious

0:46:27.960 --> 0:46:30.520
<v Speaker 1>about her spirituality journey and her celigacy.

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:34.600
<v Speaker 2>I want to apologize to that community too, because I

0:46:34.640 --> 0:46:36.120
<v Speaker 2>used to come on here and be like I'm celibate

0:46:36.160 --> 0:46:38.200
<v Speaker 2>just because I was on some fun nigga shit at

0:46:38.239 --> 0:46:41.000
<v Speaker 2>the time, and then as soon as twenty four seven

0:46:41.040 --> 0:46:43.799
<v Speaker 2>or anybody hit my fucking phone, I hopped into the bed.

0:46:43.880 --> 0:46:48.720
<v Speaker 2>So even using celibacy, wait, so are you? I cried

0:46:48.760 --> 0:46:51.160
<v Speaker 2>at the thought of a man touching my body. My

0:46:51.320 --> 0:46:54.400
<v Speaker 2>body is rejecting the idea of being intimate with a

0:46:54.400 --> 0:46:55.600
<v Speaker 2>guy right now, Like.

0:46:56.040 --> 0:46:58.680
<v Speaker 1>Can you masturbate? Oh? I do that. I'll tell y'all

0:46:58.680 --> 0:47:01.120
<v Speaker 1>this I'm doing. I got pressing and stressy ones. Bitch,

0:47:01.160 --> 0:47:03.200
<v Speaker 1>I watched porn masturbated and started crying.

0:47:03.840 --> 0:47:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I mean, there's luckily I watched like again, so

0:47:08.360 --> 0:47:11.360
<v Speaker 2>what I'm watching is not even getting me into the

0:47:11.400 --> 0:47:15.040
<v Speaker 2>thought process of being with somebody, but I am.

0:47:15.200 --> 0:47:16.680
<v Speaker 1>I am in a.

0:47:16.640 --> 0:47:20.719
<v Speaker 2>Space where I physically, bitch, I went into tears. My

0:47:20.800 --> 0:47:24.640
<v Speaker 2>whole body like got tight. And that's where like I

0:47:24.719 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 2>even want to be on Like I'm like, oh Na,

0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:28.759
<v Speaker 2>this this shit is real and I need to get

0:47:28.760 --> 0:47:31.520
<v Speaker 2>comfortable with what that means before I even trust the

0:47:31.560 --> 0:47:35.560
<v Speaker 2>man to literally be inside of me again. Yeah, and

0:47:35.600 --> 0:47:38.160
<v Speaker 2>it's it's scary for me. I literally like was in

0:47:38.239 --> 0:47:40.319
<v Speaker 2>tears talking to my therapist. I let her know, bitch,

0:47:40.320 --> 0:47:42.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm getting somebody else to talk to because I don't

0:47:42.040 --> 0:47:45.040
<v Speaker 2>think this is your space. But I was like bro

0:47:45.320 --> 0:47:48.279
<v Speaker 2>to literally tighten up at the thought of a man

0:47:48.360 --> 0:47:50.160
<v Speaker 2>touching He scared me. I said, oh nah, this is

0:47:50.480 --> 0:47:51.319
<v Speaker 2>really about to be saying.

0:47:51.360 --> 0:47:54.960
<v Speaker 1>When I floor therapy it was for physical abuse, but

0:47:55.600 --> 0:47:56.760
<v Speaker 1>this is emotional abuse.

0:47:56.800 --> 0:47:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:47:57.000 --> 0:47:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I know it's crazy, because this is how sometimes our

0:48:00.040 --> 0:48:03.480
<v Speaker 1>brain can work. I've maybe told this story on Horrible before,

0:48:03.600 --> 0:48:07.560
<v Speaker 1>but just to reiterate, So, I had a guy that

0:48:07.680 --> 0:48:11.160
<v Speaker 1>was abusing me and he took me to the gynecologist

0:48:11.200 --> 0:48:13.720
<v Speaker 1>and I didn't even realize how terrible of a person

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:15.520
<v Speaker 1>he was that he was in the room with me

0:48:16.200 --> 0:48:21.200
<v Speaker 1>when they were checking my vagina. Oh wow, and oh

0:48:21.239 --> 0:48:24.560
<v Speaker 1>he was disgusting. And I was doing public flir therapy

0:48:24.600 --> 0:48:25.920
<v Speaker 1>where I went twice a week and they put this

0:48:26.000 --> 0:48:28.040
<v Speaker 1>wand in you and does this butterfly effect, which is

0:48:28.080 --> 0:48:31.480
<v Speaker 1>now interestingly enough known as something that can tighten your muscle.

0:48:31.480 --> 0:48:33.880
<v Speaker 1>It basically helps you work your kegel muscles. And so

0:48:34.480 --> 0:48:38.080
<v Speaker 1>everybody thought and I did too, and I didn't even

0:48:38.080 --> 0:48:41.120
<v Speaker 1>realize it's because he was in the room that I

0:48:41.200 --> 0:48:43.800
<v Speaker 1>was tensing up because I was scared and I needed

0:48:43.800 --> 0:48:45.640
<v Speaker 1>to let go or there was some tension in my body,

0:48:45.719 --> 0:48:49.440
<v Speaker 1>badge and dismiss whatever bitch cheated on him with a

0:48:49.680 --> 0:48:53.000
<v Speaker 1>doorman put the door Money three, who was just always

0:48:53.000 --> 0:48:54.959
<v Speaker 1>sweet to me and nice and we'd flirt and talk.

0:48:56.360 --> 0:48:59.000
<v Speaker 1>It was and I just had a little crush, right,

0:48:59.080 --> 0:49:02.280
<v Speaker 1>And so when the happened and I got excited about

0:49:02.320 --> 0:49:05.160
<v Speaker 1>someone and started feeling good and safe and I had

0:49:05.160 --> 0:49:09.040
<v Speaker 1>sex with them, no issues. And I literally walked in

0:49:09.600 --> 0:49:11.400
<v Speaker 1>to the fucking doctor the next day. It was a

0:49:11.400 --> 0:49:13.239
<v Speaker 1>woman and Nursa was doing it every time, and I

0:49:13.280 --> 0:49:15.200
<v Speaker 1>told her. I was like, I had text with someone

0:49:15.239 --> 0:49:16.440
<v Speaker 1>else and not even that issue.

0:49:16.880 --> 0:49:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Wow.

0:49:17.320 --> 0:49:20.200
<v Speaker 1>She said, well, I will do these so that he

0:49:20.239 --> 0:49:23.160
<v Speaker 1>knows you're coming here and we can practice. She was like,

0:49:23.200 --> 0:49:25.080
<v Speaker 1>but this is therapy now.

0:49:25.160 --> 0:49:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Like I mean, I'll say, like Fela Bay came over

0:49:29.600 --> 0:49:31.720
<v Speaker 2>the other day because we haven't seen each other in years,

0:49:32.200 --> 0:49:33.799
<v Speaker 2>and he came over the other day and we were

0:49:33.800 --> 0:49:36.239
<v Speaker 2>just watching Netflix and eating. He knows I'm celibate. He

0:49:36.239 --> 0:49:38.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't even try me, thank god, but he just wanted

0:49:38.560 --> 0:49:41.960
<v Speaker 2>me to lay on him, and his hand touching my

0:49:42.040 --> 0:49:45.480
<v Speaker 2>knee made me feel really like. I was like, so

0:49:45.520 --> 0:49:46.800
<v Speaker 2>I tried to lay a different way where I just

0:49:46.880 --> 0:49:48.759
<v Speaker 2>laid my legs over him, but I didn't want him

0:49:48.800 --> 0:49:50.760
<v Speaker 2>to touch me. And then it was really weird because

0:49:51.120 --> 0:49:52.799
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't a date. But I linked up with the

0:49:52.800 --> 0:49:54.359
<v Speaker 2>twenty two year old and we just got drink.

0:49:54.400 --> 0:49:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Who was the twenty two year old?

0:49:55.680 --> 0:49:57.920
<v Speaker 2>I gotta I got. That's gonna be his name for

0:49:58.000 --> 0:49:58.920
<v Speaker 2>right now, the twenty.

0:49:58.760 --> 0:50:00.560
<v Speaker 1>Two year old. I don't even know where the source

0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:02.839
<v Speaker 1>of this well, you said what, I don't even know

0:50:03.040 --> 0:50:04.040
<v Speaker 1>how this person came about.

0:50:04.080 --> 0:50:06.480
<v Speaker 2>He's I've known him for a long time.

0:50:06.400 --> 0:50:09.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And how long have you known him, buddy? I

0:50:10.000 --> 0:50:11.560
<v Speaker 1>know That's why I said. I said, I didn't even

0:50:11.560 --> 0:50:12.759
<v Speaker 1>gonna be able to know about how.

0:50:13.160 --> 0:50:14.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna say I've known him for.

0:50:14.320 --> 0:50:16.960
<v Speaker 1>A few years. He didn't know him at seventeen. No,

0:50:16.960 --> 0:50:19.000
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know him at seventeen. Okay, I know him

0:50:19.040 --> 0:50:21.280
<v Speaker 1>right for a long time. I I knew him right before.

0:50:21.080 --> 0:50:24.200
<v Speaker 2>He was going to college, though, uh so when he

0:50:24.239 --> 0:50:24.800
<v Speaker 2>was eighteen.

0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, we never talked.

0:50:28.120 --> 0:50:30.040
<v Speaker 2>He always lived in a different state, his college was

0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:33.480
<v Speaker 2>in a different state. Then he got drafted, soa ballplayer,

0:50:33.480 --> 0:50:36.279
<v Speaker 2>of course, and anyway, he was in town and we

0:50:36.320 --> 0:50:38.920
<v Speaker 2>went out and it was crazy because I told him.

0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:41.680
<v Speaker 2>He was like I was telling him about him celibate

0:50:41.680 --> 0:50:43.000
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, yeah, I just broke up. How

0:50:43.000 --> 0:50:43.680
<v Speaker 2>long we all together?

0:50:43.719 --> 0:50:44.080
<v Speaker 1>Three years?

0:50:44.080 --> 0:50:46.319
<v Speaker 2>He said, Nigga, he was in my phone while during

0:50:46.440 --> 0:50:48.040
<v Speaker 2>the last four years, and I was like, nigga, step

0:50:48.160 --> 0:50:51.080
<v Speaker 2>chat and we broke up thirteen times. But all those

0:50:51.120 --> 0:50:52.960
<v Speaker 2>times I like ghosted you or didn't see you. When

0:50:53.000 --> 0:50:54.840
<v Speaker 2>you came to town, I was back with him, and

0:50:54.880 --> 0:50:57.160
<v Speaker 2>so he was like, okay, that makes sense. But literally

0:50:57.239 --> 0:50:59.799
<v Speaker 2>I found myself because he was so easy to talk

0:50:59.840 --> 0:51:02.120
<v Speaker 2>to me touching him, and I was like, oh, this

0:51:02.200 --> 0:51:04.239
<v Speaker 2>has been different because I have not wanted to So

0:51:04.280 --> 0:51:06.479
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, maybe I just have to feel

0:51:06.520 --> 0:51:09.200
<v Speaker 2>comfortable with somebody. And I was like, not a twenty

0:51:09.239 --> 0:51:09.680
<v Speaker 2>two year old.

0:51:09.680 --> 0:51:12.920
<v Speaker 1>And also new experiences, and this is why sometimes spinning

0:51:12.960 --> 0:51:16.040
<v Speaker 1>the block isn't always great. He might be right because

0:51:16.080 --> 0:51:18.759
<v Speaker 1>this is a new nigga, never met. New experiences give

0:51:18.840 --> 0:51:21.279
<v Speaker 1>you a new Like spinning the block is easy when

0:51:21.280 --> 0:51:22.920
<v Speaker 1>you just want dick.

0:51:23.600 --> 0:51:26.040
<v Speaker 2>But when to know that we had do you need

0:51:26.080 --> 0:51:29.040
<v Speaker 2>to get feeling even feeling baby was like, you know,

0:51:29.040 --> 0:51:30.600
<v Speaker 2>if I ain't get locked up again, he was gonna

0:51:30.600 --> 0:51:33.640
<v Speaker 2>be my bitch, right And so even knowing he still

0:51:33.640 --> 0:51:37.719
<v Speaker 2>had he did bitch the one time I bitch he brought.

0:51:37.880 --> 0:51:39.239
<v Speaker 2>I told you, like, this was the one time I

0:51:39.239 --> 0:51:40.600
<v Speaker 2>actually cooked for him, and.

0:51:40.600 --> 0:51:44.080
<v Speaker 1>That nigga, if he wasn't that light, I might, you know.

0:51:44.200 --> 0:51:47.200
<v Speaker 2>So like to me, I was like, ooh, maybe even

0:51:47.360 --> 0:51:50.560
<v Speaker 2>really like considering someone that's not in my roller dis

0:51:51.080 --> 0:51:53.040
<v Speaker 2>is something that like, all of this is new. I

0:51:53.040 --> 0:51:55.719
<v Speaker 2>don't know how to navigate this shit, but I'm being

0:51:55.840 --> 0:51:59.719
<v Speaker 2>very forthright. Sex is not gonna happen anytime soon. It

0:51:59.760 --> 0:52:01.520
<v Speaker 2>is because you're okay with that. I was like, let's

0:52:01.520 --> 0:52:04.440
<v Speaker 2>do ax throwing, Let's go to Dave and Busters.

0:52:04.080 --> 0:52:07.000
<v Speaker 1>Like bro, let me just tell you. I googled the

0:52:07.040 --> 0:52:09.520
<v Speaker 1>other day things to do that aren't a comedy club,

0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:12.920
<v Speaker 1>and here's why. Okay. I have been going on dates

0:52:12.960 --> 0:52:15.920
<v Speaker 1>to places that I frequent or just places that like

0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:18.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to take nobody to my frequently, not

0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:21.480
<v Speaker 1>like frequent, but like a like a place that I

0:52:21.520 --> 0:52:24.520
<v Speaker 1>know is like an easy place to go. Okay, so

0:52:24.640 --> 0:52:26.400
<v Speaker 1>it'll be one of the sozial houses or like a

0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:29.600
<v Speaker 1>last lap sometimes like or even in La. Maybe I'm

0:52:29.600 --> 0:52:32.200
<v Speaker 1>doing the same shit and I'm realizing when I'm going

0:52:32.200 --> 0:52:33.920
<v Speaker 1>out with new niggas that may not even know have

0:52:33.920 --> 0:52:37.879
<v Speaker 1>a podcast. Oh, I'm running into fans. Yes?

0:52:38.400 --> 0:52:39.280
<v Speaker 2>Is that a problem?

0:52:39.920 --> 0:52:45.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean okay, And I don't want this to stop

0:52:45.280 --> 0:52:47.719
<v Speaker 1>anyone from saying hello to me, because I want you

0:52:47.800 --> 0:52:51.920
<v Speaker 1>to understand that, as someone that was a huge fan,

0:52:51.960 --> 0:52:54.440
<v Speaker 1>I always talk about Bodega boys. I can't imagine running

0:52:54.440 --> 0:52:57.120
<v Speaker 1>into my favorite podcaster and not being able to say

0:52:57.160 --> 0:52:59.480
<v Speaker 1>what's up. I'm not bothered at that. I'm just starting

0:52:59.480 --> 0:53:02.920
<v Speaker 1>to realize, like, oh, like this is the thing that

0:53:02.960 --> 0:53:06.719
<v Speaker 1>happens when you're dating someone new. Now I'm seeing you

0:53:06.800 --> 0:53:10.480
<v Speaker 1>experience wheezy wheezy when you ain't know you were going

0:53:10.480 --> 0:53:11.239
<v Speaker 1>out with weezy. Yeah.

0:53:11.239 --> 0:53:12.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I told the twenty two

0:53:12.840 --> 0:53:17.080
<v Speaker 2>year old because we talked about the mixy places and

0:53:17.120 --> 0:53:19.480
<v Speaker 2>he brought up her goola and I said, nigga, I

0:53:19.480 --> 0:53:20.680
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be seen out with you yet.

0:53:21.040 --> 0:53:22.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know you like that you don't know me.

0:53:22.760 --> 0:53:24.760
<v Speaker 2>But also I don't want people to see us together

0:53:24.800 --> 0:53:27.759
<v Speaker 2>like he's somebody, and so I'm like, oh no, I

0:53:27.760 --> 0:53:29.520
<v Speaker 2>don't need to be connected to you yet. Let's make

0:53:29.560 --> 0:53:31.360
<v Speaker 2>sure we vibe with each other. So we went to

0:53:31.400 --> 0:53:33.800
<v Speaker 2>a very low key bar. It was all white people

0:53:33.800 --> 0:53:36.440
<v Speaker 2>in that bitch and that shit. It comes to me

0:53:36.520 --> 0:53:38.640
<v Speaker 2>that and had drinks. Nobody knew me, but I let

0:53:38.719 --> 0:53:41.160
<v Speaker 2>him know. No nig niggas know me, and so I

0:53:41.160 --> 0:53:42.759
<v Speaker 2>need to make sure you're not gonna be and I

0:53:42.840 --> 0:53:44.600
<v Speaker 2>went to for people to see you with me.

0:53:44.680 --> 0:53:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I went to a place y'all gotta go here. It's

0:53:46.120 --> 0:53:50.040
<v Speaker 1>called Cadence. It's a vegan soul food restaurant on seven okay,

0:53:50.480 --> 0:53:52.200
<v Speaker 1>dann I'm not vegan. Went there.

0:53:52.239 --> 0:53:54.600
<v Speaker 2>We were good bitch the season that bitch up right.

0:53:54.960 --> 0:53:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I had the crab fake crab cake. I don't know,

0:53:57.040 --> 0:53:59.839
<v Speaker 1>but anyway, went there on the first date with nothing

0:53:59.880 --> 0:54:01.560
<v Speaker 1>for sorry. It was a third date. I went on

0:54:01.600 --> 0:54:04.400
<v Speaker 1>a date with the dude the first night and it

0:54:04.440 --> 0:54:06.920
<v Speaker 1>was a great date. I went back because the food

0:54:06.960 --> 0:54:10.600
<v Speaker 1>was so good. The bartender told me she listens to

0:54:10.640 --> 0:54:13.000
<v Speaker 1>horrible shout out to you if you're there, okay, and

0:54:13.040 --> 0:54:16.319
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god. I saw her last

0:54:16.400 --> 0:54:19.160
<v Speaker 1>night and she didn't say anything to me, which is cool, right,

0:54:19.239 --> 0:54:22.879
<v Speaker 1>But I was like, damn, you never fucking know, bit

0:54:22.960 --> 0:54:25.799
<v Speaker 1>you don't, And I what if I'm sitting there maybe

0:54:25.840 --> 0:54:28.320
<v Speaker 1>ain't and they're like, oh, I don't do that anymore.

0:54:28.400 --> 0:54:30.600
<v Speaker 2>But I mean, I don't talk shit about you. I

0:54:30.600 --> 0:54:31.799
<v Speaker 2>don't talk shit about.

0:54:31.800 --> 0:54:33.839
<v Speaker 1>Anybody, like even anything in my life.

0:54:33.920 --> 0:54:36.319
<v Speaker 2>If I get into an uber and they black, I

0:54:36.320 --> 0:54:39.959
<v Speaker 2>won't talk, I swear to god, I'm not saying shit.

0:54:40.440 --> 0:54:42.160
<v Speaker 2>The only time I even talk to my friends in

0:54:42.200 --> 0:54:45.320
<v Speaker 2>an uber is if I see the uber is written

0:54:45.360 --> 0:54:48.799
<v Speaker 2>all in Mandarin Chinese and they don't speak English, or

0:54:48.840 --> 0:54:49.800
<v Speaker 2>it's like an old.

0:54:49.680 --> 0:54:52.200
<v Speaker 1>That's not true, bitch. We had a motherfucking Uber driver

0:54:52.280 --> 0:54:54.359
<v Speaker 1>in Dallas and Mandy was giving it uh.

0:54:54.840 --> 0:54:56.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I knew he wasn't a fan like I

0:54:56.560 --> 0:54:58.800
<v Speaker 2>was giving it up. But like when I'm by myself,

0:54:58.840 --> 0:55:00.319
<v Speaker 2>I ain't gonn talk shit about nobody. I could talk

0:55:00.320 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 2>shit about my ex. That's why I was talking.

0:55:02.000 --> 0:55:04.919
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you how real is about talking shit.

0:55:05.520 --> 0:55:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Me and Alex were talking. We weren't even talking shit, actually,

0:55:08.160 --> 0:55:10.919
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not just saying that because we're recording right now.

0:55:11.239 --> 0:55:14.239
<v Speaker 1>We were talking about the just hilarious ship. He was

0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:16.719
<v Speaker 1>in its prime, right and he was like yo, and

0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:17.920
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, she hasn't been on

0:55:17.960 --> 0:55:19.959
<v Speaker 1>the Breakfast Club. Do you think that I heard won't

0:55:19.960 --> 0:55:23.560
<v Speaker 1>Wanner and that he's talking to me and he's giving

0:55:23.640 --> 0:55:27.160
<v Speaker 1>me his opinions. And Alex was very pro like this

0:55:27.360 --> 0:55:29.120
<v Speaker 1>wasn't a good video, like I don't like what I

0:55:29.160 --> 0:55:31.319
<v Speaker 1>just saw. But then we were out and I remember

0:55:31.360 --> 0:55:31.600
<v Speaker 1>he was.

0:55:31.600 --> 0:55:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Like, no, literally, you can't talk about because they it's

0:55:36.000 --> 0:55:39.359
<v Speaker 2>gonna make someone think, yo, yeah, they don't relieve they

0:55:39.400 --> 0:55:42.399
<v Speaker 2>know you. We've definitely rocked with Jess. You can't talk

0:55:42.440 --> 0:55:45.160
<v Speaker 2>about nobody. You didn't even have an opinion about nobody more.

0:55:46.160 --> 0:55:47.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you can't. You just can't.

0:55:47.400 --> 0:55:49.920
<v Speaker 2>It's tough have it in your mind, talk about it

0:55:49.960 --> 0:55:51.160
<v Speaker 2>in your with your fish that.

0:55:51.080 --> 0:55:51.600
<v Speaker 1>They gonna take it.

0:55:51.680 --> 0:55:53.160
<v Speaker 2>I ain't gonna hold you, you know how bare and know

0:55:53.200 --> 0:55:57.240
<v Speaker 2>what I be, bitch, I will be talking about somebody

0:55:57.480 --> 0:55:59.200
<v Speaker 2>and I'll be opening my hallway door just to see

0:55:59.200 --> 0:55:59.960
<v Speaker 2>if anybody can hear me.

0:56:00.320 --> 0:56:02.479
<v Speaker 1>Y'all be doing that ship like.

0:56:04.920 --> 0:56:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Let me make sure that nigga ain't outside my door.

0:56:07.080 --> 0:56:10.359
<v Speaker 1>That the people don't even live. Some times, the last

0:56:10.360 --> 0:56:12.520
<v Speaker 1>time I talked some good ship like that, let me

0:56:12.520 --> 0:56:14.160
<v Speaker 1>make sure I can't. When I had a woman, a

0:56:14.160 --> 0:56:18.520
<v Speaker 1>woman called girl, Oh bitch, I'll open my motherfucking hallway

0:56:18.560 --> 0:56:21.800
<v Speaker 1>twice like this fuck nigga because I had just blocked it. Okay,

0:56:22.000 --> 0:56:24.400
<v Speaker 1>many has a homemail that she always get to.

0:56:24.719 --> 0:56:27.760
<v Speaker 2>We will get to vanilla shit another time. But clearly

0:56:27.760 --> 0:56:30.120
<v Speaker 2>we we talked about it. Oh, I wasn't even gonna

0:56:30.280 --> 0:56:31.919
<v Speaker 2>get to it, even the homemail. I was just gonna

0:56:31.920 --> 0:56:34.440
<v Speaker 2>be like, y'all send a homemail in but you want

0:56:34.480 --> 0:56:35.280
<v Speaker 2>to get through it, we'll.

0:56:35.080 --> 0:56:35.520
<v Speaker 1>Get to it.

0:56:35.680 --> 0:56:39.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, homemail guys, we need more homemail, so make sure

0:56:39.239 --> 0:56:44.480
<v Speaker 2>you email us your sex or dating or relationship questions

0:56:44.760 --> 0:56:47.640
<v Speaker 2>so we can provide you with some advice. Please this

0:56:47.680 --> 0:56:51.480
<v Speaker 2>one's send it to Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. Please,

0:56:51.960 --> 0:56:54.319
<v Speaker 2>this says high ladies. I'm a year and a half

0:56:54.440 --> 0:56:59.000
<v Speaker 2>out of a fifteen year relationship. Bit y'all can't even imagine.

0:56:59.239 --> 0:57:01.040
<v Speaker 2>I won't go into do you tell about the breakup?

0:57:01.080 --> 0:57:03.000
<v Speaker 2>But long story short, the nigga was a serial cheater,

0:57:03.040 --> 0:57:05.960
<v Speaker 2>aren't they all. But we have a kid, so we

0:57:06.040 --> 0:57:09.879
<v Speaker 2>have a solid co parenting relationship. I sometimes think about

0:57:09.960 --> 0:57:12.319
<v Speaker 2>hitting him up just for sex, but I don't know

0:57:12.360 --> 0:57:15.280
<v Speaker 2>if he can handle that without catching feelings. And truthfully,

0:57:15.680 --> 0:57:17.920
<v Speaker 2>after all I put up with him, he doesn't deserve

0:57:17.960 --> 0:57:21.760
<v Speaker 2>to even taste my pussy again. I realized recently that

0:57:21.840 --> 0:57:25.400
<v Speaker 2>I haven't had much sexual experience outside of him, But

0:57:25.560 --> 0:57:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm ready to explore sex. In my thirties, I haven't

0:57:28.520 --> 0:57:31.040
<v Speaker 2>had any partners, and I wouldn't say I've had great

0:57:31.120 --> 0:57:34.040
<v Speaker 2>sex with partners really outside of my ex. I just

0:57:34.080 --> 0:57:37.480
<v Speaker 2>want to have new and fun sexual experiences where a

0:57:37.520 --> 0:57:39.919
<v Speaker 2>man can teach me new things in the bedroom while

0:57:39.960 --> 0:57:42.720
<v Speaker 2>getting good dick. But I don't know where to find him.

0:57:43.080 --> 0:57:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm so out of the game. I don't know how

0:57:45.000 --> 0:57:47.440
<v Speaker 2>to do this. I've been on a few dates, they

0:57:47.480 --> 0:57:51.360
<v Speaker 2>have gone nowhere. How do I get out there and

0:57:51.400 --> 0:57:54.640
<v Speaker 2>explore I'm not a fan of dating apps because they

0:57:54.640 --> 0:57:57.439
<v Speaker 2>haven't led anywhere. I think I'm cute, but I don't

0:57:57.440 --> 0:58:01.000
<v Speaker 2>often get approached by men. Where do I find a

0:58:01.040 --> 0:58:03.600
<v Speaker 2>man who will dick me down and help me explore

0:58:03.600 --> 0:58:05.120
<v Speaker 2>my sexuality.

0:58:04.680 --> 0:58:06.400
<v Speaker 1>In a new and empowering way.

0:58:06.520 --> 0:58:09.360
<v Speaker 2>She help me get laid, Thanks ladies, sign a sexually

0:58:09.400 --> 0:58:10.800
<v Speaker 2>frustrated woman in her thirties.

0:58:10.880 --> 0:58:11.640
<v Speaker 1>She sent her pic.

0:58:11.840 --> 0:58:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean my myt and this is just because niggas

0:58:15.840 --> 0:58:18.000
<v Speaker 2>don't come up to you. Girl, Well, no to me

0:58:18.720 --> 0:58:22.480
<v Speaker 2>if you want dick and a sexually empowering experience with

0:58:22.600 --> 0:58:25.160
<v Speaker 2>someone who's a bit more experienced with you. But you

0:58:25.200 --> 0:58:27.480
<v Speaker 2>don't like dating apps. This is gonna seem like I'm

0:58:27.520 --> 0:58:30.520
<v Speaker 2>telling you to jump into jump off a clip with it,

0:58:31.040 --> 0:58:34.720
<v Speaker 2>but the sex club. And I say that because it's

0:58:34.760 --> 0:58:37.680
<v Speaker 2>where you can actually like a lot of the I

0:58:37.720 --> 0:58:39.320
<v Speaker 2>don't know where she lives. She didn't put where she can.

0:58:39.400 --> 0:58:41.280
<v Speaker 1>I just say what. I just had to come to

0:58:41.320 --> 0:58:44.120
<v Speaker 1>my mind. Okay, sorry, I got add and I have

0:58:44.160 --> 0:58:47.040
<v Speaker 1>to pee, so now it's jumbled. I saw her picture

0:58:47.080 --> 0:58:49.200
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, she is cute. I think we

0:58:49.240 --> 0:58:51.960
<v Speaker 1>need to match people up on her Instagram. I think

0:58:51.960 --> 0:58:54.800
<v Speaker 1>we should get consent, have people send it in their

0:58:54.840 --> 0:58:57.080
<v Speaker 1>picks and fucking put them out there. Be up to

0:58:57.120 --> 0:58:58.080
<v Speaker 1>the walls, niggas.

0:58:58.720 --> 0:59:00.360
<v Speaker 2>Let's start doing it. I don't know if I want

0:59:00.400 --> 0:59:01.760
<v Speaker 2>the responsibility, but you're more than listen.

0:59:01.840 --> 0:59:04.320
<v Speaker 1>Every podcast takes should we do anyway? And so might

0:59:04.360 --> 0:59:06.160
<v Speaker 1>as well try something new so they could steal that too.

0:59:06.320 --> 0:59:09.120
<v Speaker 2>That could be cool. I mean it sounds like work,

0:59:09.280 --> 0:59:10.680
<v Speaker 2>so uh, you know.

0:59:10.880 --> 0:59:12.760
<v Speaker 1>If it's just a pick, we already have a social

0:59:12.760 --> 0:59:15.760
<v Speaker 1>media manager. Post a picture, give us some facts about you,

0:59:16.160 --> 0:59:18.360
<v Speaker 1>and niggles will slide in your DMS, I say, we

0:59:18.440 --> 0:59:21.080
<v Speaker 1>do it. Instagram to me is like a dating app,

0:59:21.120 --> 0:59:23.280
<v Speaker 1>though it is. Yeah, And she says she doesn't like

0:59:23.400 --> 0:59:25.360
<v Speaker 1>meeting guys on dating app Yeah, because she has to

0:59:25.400 --> 0:59:26.640
<v Speaker 1>put in fucking work.

0:59:27.000 --> 0:59:29.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's why I like to me, it's a little

0:59:29.800 --> 0:59:31.920
<v Speaker 2>less work at a sex club personally true.

0:59:32.120 --> 0:59:33.680
<v Speaker 1>But also and I think I think we about to

0:59:33.680 --> 0:59:35.200
<v Speaker 1>start this by the time y'all hear, does I mean

0:59:35.400 --> 0:59:39.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm down to do that? I do think it's hard

0:59:39.320 --> 0:59:39.800
<v Speaker 1>as well.

0:59:39.880 --> 0:59:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Like I guess out, the gate in the caption has

0:59:42.840 --> 0:59:46.080
<v Speaker 2>to be like things she's curious about and wants to explore,

0:59:46.120 --> 0:59:48.920
<v Speaker 2>because she clearly said yes, she wants to meet a

0:59:48.960 --> 0:59:50.920
<v Speaker 2>guy who can teach her some things in the bedroom.

0:59:51.000 --> 0:59:53.760
<v Speaker 1>I was in an article of Or It was when

0:59:53.760 --> 0:59:57.000
<v Speaker 1>we first started the podcast. I was in Time Out magazine.

0:59:57.640 --> 1:00:00.200
<v Speaker 1>Tianna just found it for me. I was in a

1:00:00.240 --> 1:00:03.120
<v Speaker 1>section called the Unbatable and they set me up on

1:00:03.160 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 1>a date with someone. Oh my god. I'm thirty tw

1:00:04.840 --> 1:00:09.080
<v Speaker 1>years old. Gila twenty five, account exact for a telecommunications

1:00:09.080 --> 1:00:12.280
<v Speaker 1>firm living in midtown West. Why is she single? Doesn't

1:00:12.320 --> 1:00:14.600
<v Speaker 1>often meet people? She connects with them might be picky.

1:00:15.040 --> 1:00:19.200
<v Speaker 1>Ideal date bitch, don't change up dinner at a hip

1:00:19.240 --> 1:00:22.040
<v Speaker 1>meatpacking restaurant then drinks at a dive bar. I've always

1:00:22.040 --> 1:00:25.960
<v Speaker 1>been that girl, And now basically I think we could

1:00:26.000 --> 1:00:28.160
<v Speaker 1>do something like this for people because the difficult thing

1:00:28.160 --> 1:00:31.720
<v Speaker 1>about dating apps is you're swiping. It's difficult. Then you

1:00:31.760 --> 1:00:33.280
<v Speaker 1>got to make the connection, then you got to meet.

1:00:33.560 --> 1:00:36.160
<v Speaker 1>It's like a lot of like back and forth. What

1:00:36.200 --> 1:00:37.600
<v Speaker 1>do you like? What are you're not like? Sometimes it

1:00:37.640 --> 1:00:42.000
<v Speaker 1>feels great to just beat what's the word I'm looking for?

1:00:42.560 --> 1:00:44.320
<v Speaker 1>What was the one I wanted? A few weeks ago,

1:00:44.400 --> 1:00:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Cat called Oh no No. That was basically just having someone

1:00:47.800 --> 1:00:50.680
<v Speaker 1>like come to you and be intentional. You want someone

1:00:50.720 --> 1:00:52.040
<v Speaker 1>to pursue you. Thank you.

1:00:52.600 --> 1:00:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, bitch, you want to be pursued. You don't want

1:00:55.480 --> 1:00:57.680
<v Speaker 2>it to seem like you're begging for the attention of man.

1:00:57.720 --> 1:01:01.280
<v Speaker 2>You want a man to beat, take an initiative and

1:01:01.360 --> 1:01:02.560
<v Speaker 2>really show that.

1:01:02.480 --> 1:01:03.000
<v Speaker 1>He wants you.

1:01:03.200 --> 1:01:05.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it's not just the small talk. I realized

1:01:05.680 --> 1:01:08.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't like small talk. So even I realized with

1:01:08.520 --> 1:01:10.840
<v Speaker 2>the twenty two year old, he was like, ooh no.

1:01:10.840 --> 1:01:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Not three days later and I realized, I said, I'm

1:01:12.880 --> 1:01:14.800
<v Speaker 2>really bad with communication. I'm sorry that you feel like

1:01:14.840 --> 1:01:16.640
<v Speaker 2>I took three days to see you when I know

1:01:16.720 --> 1:01:19.400
<v Speaker 2>we wanted Sunday and I waited till Tuesday to see you,

1:01:19.960 --> 1:01:22.280
<v Speaker 2>so and I was like, oh dang, he really felt

1:01:22.320 --> 1:01:24.120
<v Speaker 2>away and he voiced it. So it was like my

1:01:24.240 --> 1:01:26.040
<v Speaker 2>back for that because I really do want to see you.

1:01:26.120 --> 1:01:28.200
<v Speaker 2>So we might see each other again tonight.

1:01:28.360 --> 1:01:29.880
<v Speaker 1>That's great. Look at my dates.

1:01:29.920 --> 1:01:33.240
<v Speaker 2>But I wake him even saying like dang, like I

1:01:33.280 --> 1:01:36.080
<v Speaker 2>hate that you like not three days later? That was

1:01:36.120 --> 1:01:36.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of fucked up?

1:01:36.840 --> 1:01:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Did you?

1:01:37.320 --> 1:01:39.000
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, that's really my bad. And I

1:01:39.000 --> 1:01:40.920
<v Speaker 2>shared him my calendar, my schedule. I said, I had

1:01:40.960 --> 1:01:43.520
<v Speaker 2>just gotten back from Greece. I was really tired. I

1:01:43.560 --> 1:01:45.560
<v Speaker 2>was jet lagged, and how much.

1:01:46.280 --> 1:01:49.240
<v Speaker 1>Twenty two year old look like a girl? Tighty't gonna

1:01:49.280 --> 1:01:51.320
<v Speaker 1>hold you, I said, man, he looked twenty two. I

1:01:51.320 --> 1:01:53.240
<v Speaker 1>talked on to his face. I said, you know, little

1:01:53.240 --> 1:01:54.920
<v Speaker 1>Instagram may really do you justice, nigga.

1:01:54.920 --> 1:01:59.400
<v Speaker 2>You cute, which I look cute day like his brown

1:01:59.440 --> 1:02:02.400
<v Speaker 2>eyes or beautiful, and I was just like, are you cute?

1:02:02.400 --> 1:02:03.640
<v Speaker 1>We about to do Hottie of the Week. I'll know

1:02:03.640 --> 1:02:04.880
<v Speaker 1>what I'm gonna call it. We're gonna call it something

1:02:04.880 --> 1:02:06.880
<v Speaker 1>ad a week, and I'm gonna put your money, y'all.

1:02:07.120 --> 1:02:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Let me just get some dick okay, and niggas and listen.

1:02:10.400 --> 1:02:13.000
<v Speaker 2>But the niggas that also are having a hard time

1:02:13.040 --> 1:02:16.920
<v Speaker 2>finding like minded, freaky ass women, nigga come to a

1:02:17.000 --> 1:02:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Horrible Decisions live show. Go to horror hive dot com.

1:02:20.800 --> 1:02:22.480
<v Speaker 2>You could bring a homeboy, you could come as a

1:02:22.520 --> 1:02:25.200
<v Speaker 2>single man well seg but you will find your community

1:02:25.240 --> 1:02:26.840
<v Speaker 2>and you will find some single girls looking to have

1:02:26.920 --> 1:02:29.840
<v Speaker 2>some fun after in for the long haul. Okay, So

1:02:30.000 --> 1:02:32.919
<v Speaker 2>going over to horre hive dot com, get your tickets now.

1:02:33.160 --> 1:02:36.600
<v Speaker 2>We are hitting up Orlando, we are hitting Atlanta. Charlotte

1:02:36.640 --> 1:02:39.240
<v Speaker 2>is sold out, but for people that maybe won't be

1:02:39.320 --> 1:02:41.840
<v Speaker 2>able to attend, we'll make sure that it's available on

1:02:41.840 --> 1:02:45.560
<v Speaker 2>our Instagram Horrible Underscore Decisions where we can kind of

1:02:45.640 --> 1:02:47.200
<v Speaker 2>let y'all share if you're selling.

1:02:46.920 --> 1:02:49.560
<v Speaker 1>For any sold out shows upcoming. I think Orlando's probably

1:02:49.600 --> 1:02:51.360
<v Speaker 1>in Atlanta will fill out. We're gonna do the same

1:02:51.360 --> 1:02:53.680
<v Speaker 1>thing where you guys can do a ticket and change

1:02:54.000 --> 1:02:55.720
<v Speaker 1>instead of like buying, possibly if they.

1:02:55.960 --> 1:02:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Look and see if there's any tickets available in those cities.

1:02:59.200 --> 1:03:03.440
<v Speaker 2>But also, you're in London on October the twenty eighth,

1:03:03.840 --> 1:03:08.040
<v Speaker 2>so London, UK if you missed the show back on

1:03:08.120 --> 1:03:10.560
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Day or if you have the work the next day.

1:03:10.600 --> 1:03:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Because our last show in London was on a Tuesday,

1:03:13.320 --> 1:03:15.640
<v Speaker 2>this show was on a Saturday, you could sleep in,

1:03:15.720 --> 1:03:16.720
<v Speaker 2>you can fuck right after.

1:03:16.920 --> 1:03:18.040
<v Speaker 1>It's fucking crazy.

1:03:18.240 --> 1:03:20.800
<v Speaker 2>We get in lit with the Halloween costumes, so the

1:03:20.840 --> 1:03:23.440
<v Speaker 2>sluts are gonna be slutting. Okay, So again, go to

1:03:23.480 --> 1:03:25.640
<v Speaker 2>horor hid dot com and get your tickets now. Thank

1:03:25.640 --> 1:03:28.400
<v Speaker 2>you guys so much. Also join our patreon at patreon

1:03:28.400 --> 1:03:31.080
<v Speaker 2>dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. Thank you guys so much

1:03:31.080 --> 1:03:34.800
<v Speaker 2>again for listening to yet another episode of Horrible Decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>Bye bye