Speaker 1: Go into this with this mentality that you are not
Speaker 1: worthy of forgiveness. Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast Grangersmith Podcast.
Speaker 1: This is episode one twenty three. Thanks for listening, Thanks
Speaker 1: for watching. If you're on Spotify or YouTube or wherever
Speaker 1: you're coming from, I'm grateful to have you. This is
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things that I do, one of
Speaker 1: the most therapeutic things I do. Sit here with this
Speaker 1: microphone and this table in my podcast room and dig
Speaker 1: into your questions. You could ask me anything you want,
Speaker 1: could be about any subject, and we get super deep.
Speaker 1: If you came from listening on after Midnight my radio show, welcome,
Speaker 1: If you came from the Smiths or Instagram or TikTok,
Speaker 1: all these places. However you found this podcast, I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for you. And if you have a question for me
Speaker 1: about any subject, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: We'll add it to the queue here and get into it.
Speaker 1: And I'm finally kind of coming up for air a
Speaker 1: little bit because I've been really really bogged down this
Speaker 1: last month filming this movie. We're filming this movie in Blanco,
Speaker 1: Texas for four weeks, and I just I don't think
Speaker 1: I realized how much time that was gonna take me
Speaker 1: to put everything into this role and to be working
Speaker 1: ten to twelve hour days every day for a month
Speaker 1: and then and still trying to juggle with the radio
Speaker 1: show after midnight, this podcast, The Smiths, random tour dates
Speaker 1: here and there, and everything else that entails being a
Speaker 1: father and a husband. And so I'm I'm really coming
Speaker 1: back to life right now. And so this is the
Speaker 1: first podcast I've done since we've finished the movie in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two where I actually have space again. And
Speaker 1: so even though we just wrapped it and we just
Speaker 1: finished the show last night in Saint Louis, Missouri, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm back and ready to focus. So please email me something.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about your questions. As though we're
Speaker 1: sitting around a campfire, it's late at night. You walk
Speaker 1: up and you say, man, I can I run something
Speaker 1: by you? I got a question, something that's been bothering
Speaker 1: me or something I've been wondering for a long time,
Speaker 1: And I don't have any notes on this table, and
Speaker 1: we just walked through it in a conversation. I'm not
Speaker 1: always right, but I'm gonna give you my opinion. It's
Speaker 1: happening real time in my head, that's where we are.
Speaker 1: I did pick an easy one to start with, and
Speaker 1: it's because it's the subject line how to play how
Speaker 1: to start playing guitar? So I thought, okay, perfect, well,
Speaker 1: ease in into it this way, it says, Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Dalton. I'm from a small town just
Speaker 1: south of Louisville, Kentucky. My question is what should I
Speaker 1: do as the first steps to playing the guitar. The
Speaker 1: guitar was a graduation present from my former teacher and friend.
Speaker 1: Any advice would be great to me on how to
Speaker 1: start playing and learning a song to play. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you for your time and answering my question. Dalton
Speaker 1: shout out to Kentucky and Louisville, just south of Louisville.
Speaker 1: Thank you for emailing buddy. And it's a good question.
Speaker 1: I started when I was fourteen and I had a
Speaker 1: guitar that was in the closet and it was my
Speaker 1: grandmother's guitar that she no longer played. I think she
Speaker 1: gave up on it. And you know what happened to
Speaker 1: me originally was I had I was kind of interested
Speaker 1: in this little girl in junior high and you know,
Speaker 1: puppy love. And I was fourteen years old and she,
Speaker 1: you know, we were like eighth grade. And I remember
Speaker 1: overhearing her talk in the hallway in school and she
Speaker 1: was talking about my friend Peter, and she said, she said, oh, Peter,
Speaker 1: he's so dreamy. He plays guitar and he sings and
Speaker 1: it's so dreamy. And I remember just thinking to myself,
Speaker 1: she didn't know that I heard her say that, and
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, I've got up my game. I've got
Speaker 1: it up my game. I've got to figure this out.
Speaker 1: So her name is Annie. I'll never forget Annie. Annie.
Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this to me. You changed my life. Now.
Speaker 1: The irony is I started playing guitar to impress her,
Speaker 1: just to just to know that I could. But what
Speaker 1: happened was I really fell in love with playing guitar,
Speaker 1: and then girls became secondary after that, which it's very
Speaker 1: ironic how that happens. You learn something for the girl
Speaker 1: and then you end up loving the thing that you
Speaker 1: were wanting to impress them with, and then it consumed
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. But how I did it, Dalton,
Speaker 1: was I pulled that guitar out of the closet and
Speaker 1: I there was a book inside there inside the case,
Speaker 1: and it was like a basic how to play guitar book,
Speaker 1: and it had fretboards lined out, and it had little
Speaker 1: dots where you put your fingers, and so I'd just
Speaker 1: look at the page and I would line my fingers
Speaker 1: up on the fretboard to where the the corresponding dots
Speaker 1: were on the page, and it would say, okay, this
Speaker 1: is a D chord, and I put my fingers there,
Speaker 1: and I would I would strum, you know, strum one time,
Speaker 1: and then then I would just start listening to the
Speaker 1: radio and I would listen to songs that I liked.
Speaker 1: Back then, it was a lot of Alan Jackson and
Speaker 1: George Strait and Merle Haggard, and I would find those
Speaker 1: songs and those songs those artists that I mentioned. I
Speaker 1: have a lot of very simple songs like Alan Jackson.
Speaker 1: The first song I ever learned was called Dallas by
Speaker 1: Alan Jackson, and it's only three chords in the entire song.
Speaker 1: So I play those three chords and it was like
Speaker 1: a D and E. Those three chords could get you
Speaker 1: through the whole song of Dallas. And so I would
Speaker 1: learn to strum just according to the way the song went,
Speaker 1: and you know, of course it's rough at first and
Speaker 1: my fingers ached. But then I just did it more
Speaker 1: and more and I was determined to do it, and
Speaker 1: I was passionate about doing it. And that's that's such
Speaker 1: a life lesson for anything you're gonna you're gonna learn
Speaker 1: something if you first are passionate about it. You want
Speaker 1: to so bad that you want to overcome the time
Speaker 1: it takes and the mistakes that you're making, and the
Speaker 1: pain that was putting on my fingertips at the time,
Speaker 1: little raw fingers were just bloody and raw and blistered.
Speaker 1: And I just kept on it. And I remember the
Speaker 1: very first time I came to my parents and played
Speaker 1: a song for the first time, and they just couldn't
Speaker 1: believe it, because they're not musical at all. They couldn't
Speaker 1: believe that I was playing a song on the guitar.
Speaker 1: And after that just learned more and more and more
Speaker 1: and kept learning, adding new songs, and then getting with
Speaker 1: other friends that played and they would say, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: you could. You could change that finger right there and
Speaker 1: put it on that string and it makes that sound.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, wow, that's that's cool, And
Speaker 1: just more and more of that, and then it was
Speaker 1: a few years later, maybe it was one year later
Speaker 1: when I started singing along with what I was playing,
Speaker 1: and that was rough, too, but I just got really
Speaker 1: interested in singing the songs along with what I was playing.
Speaker 1: So I've kind of been doing both since the very beginning.
Speaker 1: And then the next step for me was writing my
Speaker 1: own songs, and that was the progression. And then I
Speaker 1: started playing live and then playing those songs live, and
Speaker 1: I just really became addicted to it. Nowadays, Dalton, you
Speaker 1: could learn on YouTube. They have so many good programs.
Speaker 1: I would not invest in a guitar teacher right now.
Speaker 1: I would stick with free YouTube videos or a book
Speaker 1: that you have laying around, and not worry about putting
Speaker 1: a lot of money into a personal lesson. The guitar
Speaker 1: is a big deal. The guitar itself. If you have
Speaker 1: a cheap guitar like I did, or has a really
Speaker 1: high action on it, that meaning the strings are pretty
Speaker 1: pretty far distance from the actual fretboard, so it takes
Speaker 1: a lot of effort to push them down. You could
Speaker 1: switch to nylon strings, You could take them to a
Speaker 1: guitar shop, or you can go buy them yourself. And
Speaker 1: put on nylon strings instead of the steel strings, and
Speaker 1: it's going to sound way different. It's going to sound
Speaker 1: like a Mexican gut string classical guitar. But that's okay
Speaker 1: because it's going to be a lot easier on your
Speaker 1: fingers and it's a lot easier to get around. That's
Speaker 1: what I did, and I still kind of recommend that
Speaker 1: for people. Instead of in sead of going out and
Speaker 1: buying one thousand dollars guitar, you could get a pawn
Speaker 1: shop guitar and make it easier to play that way.
Speaker 1: But as in anything in life, stick with it. Stick
Speaker 1: with it. Thanks for the question, brother, Let's go up
Speaker 1: to This is the first one on my list here
Speaker 1: in no particular order. It just popped up first, and
Speaker 1: the subject line says, I'm manipulative. Please help, Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I am Nathan Seeley. I'm twenty seven years old from
Speaker 1: Madison or Meadville, Pennsylvania. I emailed you the other day
Speaker 1: explaining some serious marriage issues I was going through and
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Recently, I've come to
Speaker 1: realize that I'm a really bad manipulator. I've never realized
Speaker 1: it until now. I'm working on getting myself help, but
Speaker 1: I think it might be too late for me and
Speaker 1: my wife. She has had enough and she's trying to
Speaker 1: go through a divorce. We have two kids, We've been
Speaker 1: together for ten years, married for four. I don't want
Speaker 1: to lose her, and it's so hard because this last
Speaker 1: year and a half she's been dealing with postpartum depression
Speaker 1: slash depression and has been in and out of the hospital.
Speaker 1: Now she's finally getting back to her feet and she
Speaker 1: realizes how manip manipulative I am, and she's not willing
Speaker 1: to stick around and help me through becoming a better
Speaker 1: man for us and for her and our family. What
Speaker 1: should I do to help her realize I'm trying my
Speaker 1: hardest to get better without being like this before she
Speaker 1: leaves or finds someone else. I'm currently not living with
Speaker 1: her and she's already out the door. I never thought
Speaker 1: I would lose her. This pain is unbearable. Thanks for
Speaker 1: the advice. Your podcast has been extremely inspirational for me
Speaker 1: and has helped me get to the point where I
Speaker 1: am now. My kids are always asking me to play
Speaker 1: some Yige music. Thanks again, Nathan Brother, Thanks for the question,
Speaker 1: Thanks for thanks for the courage to email and put
Speaker 1: your name in the in the email, and and and
Speaker 1: be willing to be vulnerable enough for it to be
Speaker 1: out there in the world, you know, for for other
Speaker 1: people to hear, because I do know that you know
Speaker 1: there is there's definitely a component of you wanting to
Speaker 1: get advice on this podcast. But then there's another level
Speaker 1: where I'm pretty sure you know that your question is
Speaker 1: going to help others that hear it too. And that's
Speaker 1: a big deal to be vulnerable enough to say I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna sacrifice my own pride and something that's
Speaker 1: so sensitive to me and put it out there for
Speaker 1: the case of others that might be might not quite
Speaker 1: be ready to be as vulnerable publicly and but could
Speaker 1: be listening to this podcast and want to hear. So
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Man. The great the great thing
Speaker 1: about this email, the great thing about the steps that
Speaker 1: you're taking is realizing that you have a problem. And
Speaker 1: that's step number one. You know, you're you're you've pinpointed
Speaker 1: a pressure point for you of this manipulation that you're
Speaker 1: that you're using and becoming and it's destroying things around you.
Speaker 1: And I would hinge on that I would pivot all
Speaker 1: over that that that point that you're making and tell
Speaker 1: your wife that I just say, yeah, you know. It's
Speaker 1: funny when I when I read these questions sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: I think to myself, what you emailed me needs to
Speaker 1: be said to her, what you are vulnerable and enough
Speaker 1: to disclose to me needs to be said in that
Speaker 1: way to her in a controlled, quiet environment. I'm talking,
Speaker 1: I'm talking you. You get her alone away from the
Speaker 1: kids where you could actually have some one on one.
Speaker 1: Maybe it could be just sitting in the car in
Speaker 1: the driveway. It's like kind of I need to I
Speaker 1: need to talk to you. I have. I have realized
Speaker 1: over the years that I am being I'm manipulating you,
Speaker 1: and it is destroying us, and it's destroying this relationship.
Speaker 1: It's it's disrupting our love. And you have made me
Speaker 1: realize through your leaving that I have to change because
Speaker 1: I don't want to live without you. I love you.
Speaker 1: I want to make this work. I can't bear the
Speaker 1: thought of you leaving and it all cost. I want
Speaker 1: to get better. I want to heal, and I want
Speaker 1: you to know that I'm in the process of healing
Speaker 1: and I'm still gonna mess up. I'm still a broken
Speaker 1: man like we all are, me too, brother, But I
Speaker 1: want to get on a path that's good and healthy
Speaker 1: and that's good for you, that lifts you up. I
Speaker 1: want to be the husband that you need and the
Speaker 1: father that these kids deserve. And I want our kids
Speaker 1: to have two parents that are married and happily in love.
Speaker 1: I want that more than I want to manipulate. I
Speaker 1: want that more than I want my job. I want
Speaker 1: that more than I want my ambitions. For whatever the
Speaker 1: passions I have in life, I want this more. And
Speaker 1: look her in the eye, don't break eye contact, and
Speaker 1: tell her this. I want you look at your wife
Speaker 1: and tell her that I want you. It all cost.
Speaker 1: Help me, please, help me to learn trust me. And
Speaker 1: you might not believe me right off the bat. You
Speaker 1: might not hear hear me saying this. You might think
Speaker 1: it's just empty promises. But I want you to know that.
Speaker 1: I want you to see by my actions from this
Speaker 1: day forward that I'm gonna get better. And if I slip,
Speaker 1: I want you to call me out and go there.
Speaker 1: It is right there, there's the manipulation right there. And
Speaker 1: then at that point, right then, Nathan, you pull back
Speaker 1: and you go, yes, I'm so sorry. You're right. You
Speaker 1: swallow the pride. Pride is a big deal in this
Speaker 1: Pride is a big deal with so many things in life.
Speaker 1: We are prideful beings, and so step aside from that pride.
Speaker 1: And if she calls you out and goes there it is.
Speaker 1: And even if you think I don't think it is,
Speaker 1: or even if you think I think you're wrong, you
Speaker 1: swallow that pride and go, I'm sorry. That's not being
Speaker 1: a pushover, that's not being weak. That's called saving a marriage.
Speaker 1: And there's no disgrace in that. As a man, there's
Speaker 1: no disgrace to lose an argument to your wife. We'll
Speaker 1: put it that way. There is nothing to gain by
Speaker 1: winning an argument, or to being prideful and powering over
Speaker 1: a situation just so you could be right, or so
Speaker 1: you could look good in your own eyes, so you
Speaker 1: could look like a man, so you could look like
Speaker 1: you're strong and unwavering in your position. There's nothing to
Speaker 1: gain from that. And you could see and the reason
Speaker 1: you're emailing me is because you have now reached this
Speaker 1: rock bottom position. And sometimes it's harder to see how
Speaker 1: bad it is when you're in the marriage and things
Speaker 1: are good and she's still living there and you guys
Speaker 1: are going through these bickering arguments, but you don't see
Speaker 1: it as clearly until she goes I'm out, I'm packing
Speaker 1: up and I'm leaving, and I'm gonna find somebody new
Speaker 1: that could take care of these kids. It's unfortunate as
Speaker 1: humans that sometimes we need to hit that rock bottom
Speaker 1: for us to finally see the light. But that's that's
Speaker 1: what's happening. And so I would just be as honest
Speaker 1: with her as you can, and I would swallow that pride,
Speaker 1: and I would identify the problem that you see in
Speaker 1: your eyes and don't point it back at her. Reason
Speaker 1: this the urge to look at her and go, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna fix this manipulation, but you need to fix this
Speaker 1: and this and this. Don't say it, swallow it because
Speaker 1: guess what. Guess what. She already knows her problems. She
Speaker 1: knows it, just like you know that manipulation is your problem.
Speaker 1: She knows she's not perfect, she knows she has issues,
Speaker 1: and you don't need to tell her that. And if
Speaker 1: you're lucky, she might bring it up herself and go,
Speaker 1: now that you say it, I want to admit some
Speaker 1: things that I'm doing that I don't like about myself too.
Speaker 1: Now you're on a path to build something again. The
Speaker 1: brick wall has fallen and now you're building it back together.
Speaker 1: You got the pieces on the ground and you're able
Speaker 1: to start picking them up one by one and put
Speaker 1: it back together. That's what you're doing. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: be easy. It's not gonna be easy to swallow the pride.
Speaker 1: It might not even be easy to get her alone
Speaker 1: in this kind of conversation. But keep pursuing her. Don't
Speaker 1: give up on this. It's that important. Give up on her.
Speaker 1: Because you give up on her, you're also giving up
Speaker 1: on your kids. And they're going to see that. And
Speaker 1: your kids are gonna see, Daddy fought for this, Daddy
Speaker 1: fought for mom. Daddy loved us and Mom so much
Speaker 1: that he fought for us. They're going to see that.
Speaker 1: You don't even have to tell them. And as they
Speaker 1: get older, they're going to look back and remember that.
Speaker 1: Go man, remember that time mom and dad went through
Speaker 1: that rocky space and then Dad Dad just pursued her
Speaker 1: and apologized and got better. And it wasn't perfect, it
Speaker 1: never will be, but they got better. I wish you
Speaker 1: the best, brother. Thanks for emailing Nathan. Next question comes
Speaker 1: from Hunter says, Hey grad your My name is Hunter.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. I'm in college in Alabama. Recently
Speaker 1: opened up to a girl about my feelings for her.
Speaker 1: I've been friends with her ever since we started going
Speaker 1: to college, and the conversation of me telling her about
Speaker 1: my feelings, she never said if she feels the same
Speaker 1: or not sure where to go from here. Part of
Speaker 1: me feels like I should take a step back and
Speaker 1: be patient. The other part of me wants to just
Speaker 1: continue to be on this to be the same as
Speaker 1: it was before I even brought this up at all.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? I appreciate your time in the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thanks Hunter, shout out to Alabama. Thanks for the question.
Speaker 1: Thanks for opening up like this. This is tough. You know,
Speaker 1: I've said on this podcast before. You probably heard me.
Speaker 1: If you got if you have feelings for for a
Speaker 1: girl like this, then you need to you need to
Speaker 1: tell her because you can't. You can't just exist in
Speaker 1: this this fairy tale land where your friends and and
Speaker 1: she doesn't know how you feel, and it's hurting you
Speaker 1: inside that you want to tell her, but you don't
Speaker 1: really know how to take it, so you got to
Speaker 1: just do it. So I believe you did the right thing.
Speaker 1: But in me telling you to do that through this podcast,
Speaker 1: that doesn't it doesn't guarantee her answer. It doesn't. It
Speaker 1: doesn't guarantee that she's gonna say, wow, you like me, Wow,
Speaker 1: thanks for saying that, because I actually like you too.
Speaker 1: That's just not a guarantee. But that's why you take
Speaker 1: a risk. That's why we risk anything in life. That's
Speaker 1: why we jump. We don't always know if we're gonna
Speaker 1: land the jump, but we jump it for the sake
Speaker 1: of maybe landing it. Most of the time we fall.
Speaker 1: You took a risk, and I think this is a
Speaker 1: fall for you, But you know what you'll do. You'll
Speaker 1: get back up, You'll build yourself up, you'll build your confidence,
Speaker 1: you'll heal the wound from the fall, and you'll be
Speaker 1: ready to jump again, and you'll keep jumping. And that's life.
Speaker 1: You keep taking the leap, and you take the leap
Speaker 1: knowing that if I fall, I'm okay because I know
Speaker 1: that fallen before, and I'll get up again and it
Speaker 1: might hurt, Yeah, probably will hurt, but that's what we do.
Speaker 1: Now you're stuck. Now you're stuck saying maybe the jump
Speaker 1: was wrong, maybe the leap was wrong, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: you know it wasn't take yourself back in your mindset
Speaker 1: before you told her. Now you're back in this this
Speaker 1: la la land where she doesn't know how you feel,
Speaker 1: and and you're wondering if she feels the same way.
Speaker 1: That's no place to be, that's no place to live.
Speaker 1: We live for the jump, we live for the leap, Buddie.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you for doing that. And I can't
Speaker 1: guarantee she's gonna come around, but you're gonna heal and
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna If she doesn't like you, I mean,
Speaker 1: you could bring it up again if you want. But
Speaker 1: but the fact that she's not already saying it says
Speaker 1: a lot. Her saying nothing says a lot. So if
Speaker 1: you don't already know it by now, I'm guessing through
Speaker 1: the situation that she's she doesn't reciprocate those feelings for you.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it hurts. It hurts because you you you
Speaker 1: not only have put yourself out there, you've exposed yourself
Speaker 1: and and you've poured your heart out and you've just
Speaker 1: exposed yourself right there. And not only did you do that,
Speaker 1: but you also feel like you lost a friend because
Speaker 1: now it's weird between you two and it might never
Speaker 1: be the same. And I'm sorry, man, but that's that's
Speaker 1: a step. That's a step that you needed to take,
Speaker 1: and that that's a that's an injury that needed to happen.
Speaker 1: And now you'll heal. And I'm here to tell you
Speaker 1: the great news, the great news about you and college
Speaker 1: in Alabama at age twenty. This is a guarantee, this
Speaker 1: is a podcast guarantee. You'll find somebody else and it'll
Speaker 1: be better. It'll be a better feeling. This feeling will
Speaker 1: even be stronger. Those butterflies that you have will be
Speaker 1: will be even greater with somebody else. And the reason
Speaker 1: they'll be greater is because you know what it was
Speaker 1: like to fall once and there will be more falls,
Speaker 1: but you'll learn from that. I'm sorry to tell you.
Speaker 1: I wish I could say no, man, here's the trick.
Speaker 1: You know you should have said this, and then now
Speaker 1: she's gonna love you. Time is gonna heal. Time is
Speaker 1: your friend focused on school, focused on college twenty years old.
Speaker 1: You're only gonna get this chance one time, one time,
Speaker 1: to be twenty in college in Alabama. Bro, you're gonna
Speaker 1: look you're gonna be fifty years old looking back, and
Speaker 1: you will not look back at age fifty and go. Man,
Speaker 1: you know what was really tough? Being twenty in college
Speaker 1: in Alabama. You're never gonna say that. You're gonna go.
Speaker 1: You know what you'll say. You'll say just to have
Speaker 1: one day, just to have one more day of being
Speaker 1: twenty in college again, that's what you'll say. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna look back and go. That was a tough year.
Speaker 1: Remember that girl I was friends with and I told
Speaker 1: her I liked her and she didn't say she liked
Speaker 1: me back. Wow, that was tough. You're not gonna say that.
Speaker 1: Enjoy being twenty, brother. Let's grab another This might be
Speaker 1: simple subject line says calling something God defining blasphemy. Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: I might be over analyzing this, but I'm trying to
Speaker 1: determine as simply using the name word God as a
Speaker 1: descriptor is blasphemous or not. When I hear God, I
Speaker 1: feel a sense of reverence in worship. Some people will
Speaker 1: say OMG or even things like movie titles like Lord
Speaker 1: of the Rings or calling a group the god of
Speaker 1: something because they're really good at what they do. If
Speaker 1: you were called the country music god or god of
Speaker 1: country music, how would that make you feel? I know
Speaker 1: when something is blatantly blasphemous, But where is the line?
Speaker 1: I hope I'm making sense. I would love to hear
Speaker 1: your perspective. Best to you and your family. Mark from
Speaker 1: where Dallas Fort Worth? What's up? Mark? Yeah? I think
Speaker 1: this is pretty easy. I feel the same way. Man.
Speaker 1: If anyone said, if anyone had a meet and greet
Speaker 1: came up and said, Granger, you are the god of
Speaker 1: country music, I would get. I mean I would get.
Speaker 1: I would feel very weird about that. Humans are not gods.
Speaker 1: We never were meant to be a god, and we
Speaker 1: can't even pretend like it. In fact, we're not meant
Speaker 1: to be worshiped at all at all. Look at any
Speaker 1: kind of history. Look at anybody in history that was
Speaker 1: ever worshiped. What did that do to them? Destroy them?
Speaker 1: I'm talking, I'm talking anyone from ancient kings to Elvis.
Speaker 1: When they get worshiped to a certain level and it
Speaker 1: goes to their head and they actually buy into the worship.
Speaker 1: They actually start believing that they're worthy of the worship.
Speaker 1: That's the key. They get destroyed. It kills them, literally
Speaker 1: killed Elvis, and literally destroys the mental health of anyone
Speaker 1: that reaches a certain status of human worship and they're
Speaker 1: actually believing that it's worthy of right. So so yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think this is a like a big deal
Speaker 1: or anything. I don't think it's something we call people out.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think you'd reply on a
Speaker 1: text and say, don't ever say oh MG to me again.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't, I don't. We don't. We don't
Speaker 1: have to go there, right like it's become it's become
Speaker 1: just a part of conversation. But if it's if it's
Speaker 1: like a blatant you're the god of country music, I
Speaker 1: would stop them right there and say no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: even the word idle like idle man, Granger, you're my idol.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like that. I said. I'm not
Speaker 1: your idol. Man. I'm just a man. I'm just a fallen,
Speaker 1: broken man just trying to trying to get by in
Speaker 1: this world. My profession is playing music and speaking on
Speaker 1: a podcast and writing songs, and it's that's what I
Speaker 1: do for money, that's what I do for a living.
Speaker 1: That's my career and it is no different than if
Speaker 1: I was hanging power lines for the telephone company and
Speaker 1: that was my career and I was really good at it.
Speaker 1: What goes with that is no one goes up to
Speaker 1: a guy hanging power lines and go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're my idol. Right, No, we wouldn't say any We
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that sentence at all, oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: my idol. But but that's what you would say to
Speaker 1: a celebrity. So we need we we should correct them.
Speaker 1: If anyone would say that, I would I would correct them.
Speaker 1: And she say, man, I'm just I'm just a man.
Speaker 1: I'm just a man. I make mistakes. I am I'm
Speaker 1: just a man that chose this career path and crafted
Speaker 1: it just like anyone else. I've worked a lot of
Speaker 1: hours to get to what I'm doing now. I wasn't
Speaker 1: born with it. I wasn't just born with this. I've
Speaker 1: worked a lot of hours just like anyone else that
Speaker 1: is in a has longevity in a career, and I
Speaker 1: fail all the time. It is not I'm not worthy
Speaker 1: of your worship or your idolatry because I am I.
Speaker 1: I am a failure in so many ways. So so yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think it's a big deal, but
Speaker 1: it's worth it's worth a correction. Let's take a break
Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast is brought to us today
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Speaker 1: into the next question subject line here is faith issues
Speaker 1: slash forgiveness issues. Hey grangew please keep my name anonymous.
Speaker 1: I'm thirteen years old. I'm from Arkansas. When I ask
Speaker 1: for forgiveness from God. I feel like I'm forgetting to
Speaker 1: do something and afterwards, I don't feel like I'm even
Speaker 1: forgiven at all, and I don't know why. Thanks so much, eye, okay,
Speaker 1: I would well thirteen. Thanks for emailing. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: not a bad question. It's a legit question, and it's
Speaker 1: it comes with a deeper wisdom of what we're going
Speaker 1: to learn from the Bible itself, that that we are
Speaker 1: first of all, this is, this is going to be key.
Speaker 1: As I'm holding my coffee cup here, wretched center coffee
Speaker 1: cup here, go into this with this mentality that you
Speaker 1: are not worthy of forgiveness. Look at it from that perspective.
Speaker 1: Instead of saying I need to be forgiven and I'm asking,
Speaker 1: but I don't feel like it. Flip it. Flip it
Speaker 1: in your mind and think to yourself, I am not
Speaker 1: worthy of forgiveness, but God forgives me anyway. And that
Speaker 1: is profound and that is deep, and it's it's overwhelming
Speaker 1: to think of it that way. You're not worthy of forgiveness,
Speaker 1: You are a wretched sinner, and yet God is going
Speaker 1: to forgive you anyway through your your repentance and not
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. And so instead of instead of thinking
Speaker 1: thinking to yourself, I don't feel forgiven, think to yourself instead,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be forgiven, but I'm asking for it, and
Speaker 1: he does it anyway, and it's incredible and it's the Gospel.
Speaker 1: And through that, your job, through that, besides reading the
Speaker 1: Bible in your own time, is forgiving others. Forgive others
Speaker 1: as you are forgiven. So use that when you start
Speaker 1: feeling like I ask for forgiveness and I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'm forgiven, use that as an action for yourself
Speaker 1: and think of someone in your life that maybe you're
Speaker 1: holding a grudge about your mom, a friend from school,
Speaker 1: somebody that did something to you, maybe someone you just despise,
Speaker 1: because you know the Bible says it's easy. It's easy
Speaker 1: to forgive someone you really love and they're a great person.
Speaker 1: It's easy to love someone that's a great, loving person.
Speaker 1: But it's difficult to love someone that's your enemy, someone
Speaker 1: that you despise, someone that is treats you terribly. That's difficult.
Speaker 1: And that's what God does to you, right to all
Speaker 1: of us, to all of humanity that ask for repentance.
Speaker 1: So there's this idea that you think about your life
Speaker 1: and you think about that bullying in your school, right,
Speaker 1: think about that one kid that just messes with you,
Speaker 1: that gives you the eye. You can't even get by
Speaker 1: in the hallway because he looks at you weird. And
Speaker 1: I know you're thirteen. I was there, and I know
Speaker 1: this exists at some level in your life. Right, you're
Speaker 1: in the food chain somewhere at thirteen. I was too.
Speaker 1: But there's that one kid. He's just a punk man.
Speaker 1: He's a punk and every time you walk by and
Speaker 1: he looks at you funny, he wants to say something
Speaker 1: negative about you. He's given you the stink eye all
Speaker 1: the time. He's the guy that when you're walking home
Speaker 1: from school and you're like, oh, no, there he is
Speaker 1: that guy. Forgive that guy with all of your heart.
Speaker 1: Look at him right in the eye and think to yourself,
Speaker 1: I forgive you. Man. You're an image bearer of God,
Speaker 1: and I forgive you. And when you start doing that,
Speaker 1: when you practice that, when you go through your mind
Speaker 1: and you find those people in your mind and you
Speaker 1: truly forgive them, not because of what they're doing right now,
Speaker 1: but what they're capable of. You forgive people. You love
Speaker 1: your enemy not for not for the actions they're doing
Speaker 1: to you right now, but you love them because of
Speaker 1: what they're capable of, because they're image bearers of God.
Speaker 1: Right like like when you when you are in a war,
Speaker 1: you're in a battle and you're you're looking face to
Speaker 1: face to the enemy and he's shooting at you. It's
Speaker 1: not that that you love. It's it's it's the heart
Speaker 1: and soul and blood and sinew and bones and brain
Speaker 1: inside him. That's an image bearer of God that was
Speaker 1: made in the image of God, that has potential to
Speaker 1: be good one day, just like you, and you forgive
Speaker 1: them and you love them, and when you turn that
Speaker 1: into an action, it would be interesting on how your
Speaker 1: perspective comes back on how you feel forgiven when you
Speaker 1: ask for forgiveness. Do that. Next question says trust, subdecline.
Speaker 1: Hey gring, your my name a Scout. Me and my
Speaker 1: mom lately have not been getting along, mainly with my grades.
Speaker 1: I'm not the best at math. Sometimes she thinks I'm
Speaker 1: lying to her when I'm not. What is your advice
Speaker 1: on this? Thanks so much, God bless my advice Scout
Speaker 1: on this is simple. Obey your mother obey your mother
Speaker 1: and father. There's a reason. That's part of the Ten commandments.
Speaker 1: You know. It's funny with with the law, with God's
Speaker 1: law for us, we continually mix up why there is
Speaker 1: a law, why law exists, and why the law intercedes
Speaker 1: through the entire Old Testament. We start to think as
Speaker 1: humans that it exists in some way to please God.
Speaker 1: That's why the law exists. We do we obey the
Speaker 1: law because God wants us to for him, and that's
Speaker 1: just not the rea. The reason is God made the
Speaker 1: law for us so that we could we could fulfill
Speaker 1: our best lives to worship Him, so we could have
Speaker 1: the full capacity and the full availability to worship Him.
Speaker 1: And that's our instruction manual, Like the law is our
Speaker 1: instruction manual so that we could run our best It's
Speaker 1: like if Ford Ford Truck, you know, gives you a
Speaker 1: new raptor and they say, here's the instruction manual to
Speaker 1: this raptor. And what's very important is that you put
Speaker 1: unleaded gasoline in this raptor. Don't put diesel in it.
Speaker 1: And you could think why would they say that, Like
Speaker 1: why does why does Ford needs me to put put
Speaker 1: a certain kind of gasoline in here. Why do they
Speaker 1: care because because they made it, They built it, they
Speaker 1: created it out of a factory, and when they put
Speaker 1: the parts together and they built this engine, they made
Speaker 1: a gasoline engine. So they're telling you do this if
Speaker 1: you want to run correctly. And so part of the
Speaker 1: law is obey your mother and father. And there's a
Speaker 1: reason it's not. It's not so that you could please
Speaker 1: God with obeying it. It's so that you run, your
Speaker 1: engine runs correctly, so that then you could be the
Speaker 1: best you, so that you don't you don't have problems,
Speaker 1: so that you don't have to email this podcast going
Speaker 1: we're butting heads and I don't know why. Then you
Speaker 1: go back and you go, well, what am I doing wrong?
Speaker 1: I'm not obeying my mother because I could tell you
Speaker 1: your mother wants what's best for you. That's what mothers do.
Speaker 1: It's what they that's what they do best. And if
Speaker 1: you're not that good at math, I wasn't either. She
Speaker 1: knows that. But she wants you to reach your full potential.
Speaker 1: So she's wanting you to engage in focus and study,
Speaker 1: and and she's calling you out for lying if you're
Speaker 1: saying I did study and she's going, well, I don't
Speaker 1: see the results of the study because you're still failing
Speaker 1: this class. So are you lying to me? And may
Speaker 1: you are, maybe you aren't. But the bottom line is
Speaker 1: she's saying all this because she wants you to be
Speaker 1: the best that you could be, to reach your full
Speaker 1: potential for you, not for her. She wants you to
Speaker 1: be the best because because she carried you in her
Speaker 1: womb and you are part of her. So sometimes I
Speaker 1: can come across as is, you know, butting heads and
Speaker 1: having these problems. But but she just wants what's best
Speaker 1: for you. So my advice is you're asking my advice.
Speaker 1: Me and my mom had not been getting along, mainly
Speaker 1: with my grades. My advice is obey her. Hey mom,
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do? I want you
Speaker 1: to study? Okay, I will, I'll study. I want you
Speaker 1: to not go with your friends on Wednesday night to
Speaker 1: the whatever that you're doing. I want you to stay
Speaker 1: here and study. And you go, okay, I will. Wow,
Speaker 1: you know, like like that changes everything. She's gonna go, wait,
Speaker 1: what what, Yeah, I'll study, I'll do it. I'll do it.
Speaker 1: Why because you told me to and I know that
Speaker 1: you know what's best for me, and you want what's
Speaker 1: best for me, right, do it? Obey her? That's my advice.
Speaker 1: Next question, the subject line says he doesn't want to
Speaker 1: get married. Hey, Grainderam from Sacramento, California, recently learned about
Speaker 1: your podcast and find peace in the genuine advice that
Speaker 1: you give. I've been in a relationship for four years,
Speaker 1: and about a year ago he proposed, but it was
Speaker 1: a kind of ultimatum situation. Since then, I've been the
Speaker 1: only one that brings up talking about the future or
Speaker 1: coming up with a wedding date, and when I do,
Speaker 1: he seems annoyed. He never wants to break up. He
Speaker 1: wonders why I'm not happy with the way things are
Speaker 1: right now. He continues investing in our current relationship, but
Speaker 1: I want more of a commitment and a husband. How
Speaker 1: do I know when it's time to walk away? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to read your name because you didn't
Speaker 1: say it, so I'll call you anonymous. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: this is pretty pretty cut and dry what I would do.
Speaker 1: First of all, I want to validate your concern. I
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's a legitimate concern that he proposed.
Speaker 1: But now he's completely avoiding the conversation of nailing down
Speaker 1: a date or a venue or anything that has to
Speaker 1: do with marriage. Here's my advice. You're probably living with him,
Speaker 1: right I wish you were here around the campfire and
Speaker 1: we could talk about this, but you're probably living with him.
Speaker 1: Move out, move out, get your own apartment. Well that's expensive.
Speaker 1: Move in with the friend, sleep on a couch, move out,
Speaker 1: move away. I'm not telling you to break up with him.
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to end this relationship. I'm saying
Speaker 1: move take all of your stuff, you toothbrush and everything out.
Speaker 1: If you're in a lease together, break it. Tell him
Speaker 1: you're doing this. Tell him you love him, you want
Speaker 1: to be with him, you want to marry him. You're
Speaker 1: so excited about this engagement. But until you have a
Speaker 1: ring on your finger and you have said your vows,
Speaker 1: you are moving out. You don't want to hear this
Speaker 1: from me, do you. This is not what you were
Speaker 1: expecting me to say, is it? Move out? Move out?
Speaker 1: He is completely content with where he is right now
Speaker 1: because he is getting everything that he needs from you
Speaker 1: right now. Why would he want to get married when
Speaker 1: he has everything right now? Without the legal document he
Speaker 1: still has an out, he still has a way out
Speaker 1: the back door, just in case things go bad, get out.
Speaker 1: It's nothing on him, it's nothing, it's nothing on the relationship.
Speaker 1: This is just a way to alter things, a way
Speaker 1: to shake things up a little bit. And that's what
Speaker 1: you have to do. You are not happy, You're uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: You're emailing me about this because you are. You're you're
Speaker 1: getting overwhelmed with this, this frustration. Otherwise, you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: emailed this to me, you wouldn't have taken the time
Speaker 1: to to fire off this email. You're you are overwhelmed
Speaker 1: by the situation. And I don't blame you. But he
Speaker 1: has everything he needs right now, and you need to
Speaker 1: take that away because that's not his, that is yours.
Speaker 1: It's not his yet. Now. When you guys are married,
Speaker 1: you share everything. But right now, I'm not just talking
Speaker 1: about sex. I'm talking about the rent, the groceries, the dog.
Speaker 1: Everything that you share is not his to share with you.
Speaker 1: Right now. That's so important. You can't play house like this. Listen.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not I'm not looking down on you.
Speaker 1: I'm not condemning you at all. I have I have
Speaker 1: my own flaws. I have my own problems. I'm just,
Speaker 1: as I say a lot. I'm one beggar telling another
Speaker 1: beggar where I found bread. And I'm just showing you
Speaker 1: through my wretchedness. I'm showing you how I found my way. Okay,
Speaker 1: take it from him, Take it away from him. He
Speaker 1: is happy and content. He has no reason to move
Speaker 1: this forward. Give him a reason to move it forward.
Speaker 1: Make him lay in that bed by himself and think,
Speaker 1: I miss her? How could I fix this? I need
Speaker 1: I need her. She's a cross town right now. I
Speaker 1: can't stand just talking to her on the phone. I
Speaker 1: miss her being here. Make him think that. And if
Speaker 1: he doesn't, if you move out and he doesn't, goodbye,
Speaker 1: good good. Now you know that's a good thing. You
Speaker 1: shook it up and you figured out it wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: work anyway. But I think it might go the other direction.
Speaker 1: Let's break this deepness and go into something simple here. Hey, Grangeur,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite guitar brand? Do you play any other
Speaker 1: instruments than guitar? Thank you for you and your family.
Speaker 1: Yegey from North Carolina. That comes from Max and Hudson,
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Shout out to North Carolina. Yeah, brother, I
Speaker 1: play play any pretty much any kind of strength instrument
Speaker 1: and keyboard, piano and pedal steel guitar, and I like
Speaker 1: to play. Currently, I play a lot of Martin, and
Speaker 1: I also play Gibson and Takamin and LV and Fender.
Speaker 1: I have a lot. I have a lot of guitars.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a bad vice for me, but it
Speaker 1: goes with the trade. I have a lot. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of old Martins and really old Gibson and
Speaker 1: some brand new Martins. The new Martins, we have two
Speaker 1: of them that travel with me on normal tour dates,
Speaker 1: and they're just super durable. They last forever, They last
Speaker 1: in different humidities and different temperature changes, and they are workhorses,
Speaker 1: and most importantly, they sound great through all of that
Speaker 1: kind of adversity. So if you're going to say you
Speaker 1: got to choose one right now, I would choose the
Speaker 1: Martin that I play now that you see me post
Speaker 1: pictures on in my shows today. That Martin is rock solid.
Speaker 1: It's actually a John Mayer's signature. Next question, subject line
Speaker 1: daily devotional. Hey Grangdeer, love listening to your podcast. Thank
Speaker 1: you for all you do and all the advice you give.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a new daily devotional, wondering you had
Speaker 1: any kind of recommendations. Thanks, JB. Yeah, JB. I think
Speaker 1: I think there's a there's a ton of daily readers,
Speaker 1: daily devotionals that are great, but if you go to
Speaker 1: if you go to like a Christian bookstore, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of them you can thumb through and find find
Speaker 1: the one that speaks to you in a way. And
Speaker 1: because they're they're tailored. I've read ones that are from
Speaker 1: the perspective of sitting in a deer blind It's like
Speaker 1: deer blind devotional or something, you know, something like that.
Speaker 1: And then there's you know, everything from that to Jesus
Speaker 1: Calling to Billy Graham devotion daily devotionals. But I don't
Speaker 1: really want to pinpoint that and nail one down for
Speaker 1: you because I think it's much much, one thousand percent
Speaker 1: more important for you to make sure that that is
Speaker 1: only supplementing your reading, it's only secondary to what you're
Speaker 1: reading each day. And that's the danger I feel of
Speaker 1: devotionals as they to start making that become your only
Speaker 1: way to read the Word of God is through a
Speaker 1: devotional or an app on your phone that pops up
Speaker 1: a Bible verse. I want to encourage you to actually
Speaker 1: read the Bible itself, and a good way I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say the best. A good way to do
Speaker 1: that is through a plan, a reading plan. I personally
Speaker 1: read on one called the mix Shane Plan Mix Shane
Speaker 1: Bible Reading something, and it is for that plan. For me,
Speaker 1: it is twice to the New Testament, twice to the Psalms,
Speaker 1: and once to the Old Testament in one year. So
Speaker 1: I do it through an app called Logos. Then I
Speaker 1: do it on my phone or my iPad, and that
Speaker 1: allows me to go wherever I am, wherever I'm traveling,
Speaker 1: if I don't have a night light, if I'm on
Speaker 1: a plane, if I'm in bed and it's dark, I
Speaker 1: could just pop up my iPad and it pops up
Speaker 1: the next chapter that I need to read. And that
Speaker 1: equates to for me, four chapters in the morning, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be something like one Old Testament, one Psalm,
Speaker 1: and two New Testaments. And it could take me fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes or could take me an hour, depending on how
Speaker 1: deep it is or how much I'm trying to focus
Speaker 1: on it. But before you start that, you just say God,
Speaker 1: I'm about to open your word. I'm about to read this.
Speaker 1: This is the living, breathing word of God, and I
Speaker 1: needed to speak to me. Open my eyes to it
Speaker 1: today this morning. Open my eyes to this, to what
Speaker 1: it's about to speak to me, and soak it in
Speaker 1: and read that. And then the more you do that,
Speaker 1: the more that becomes normal, it becomes habit. And at
Speaker 1: that point, what you're doing is you're reading it yourself
Speaker 1: instead of a devotional telling you here's a verse and
Speaker 1: here's what to think about it. Instead, you're reading the
Speaker 1: word in its natural form, and then versus are popping
Speaker 1: out to you and you go, that's interesting. That's not
Speaker 1: the most famous verse in this chapter, but this versus
Speaker 1: interesting to me. And then from there you can go
Speaker 1: research it and you could look it up and read
Speaker 1: commentary on it while you're processing it to yourself. And
Speaker 1: it's so much more powerful than a devotional, which is
Speaker 1: someone telling you automatically what to think about it. It's
Speaker 1: important and I think it's something something to consider. And
Speaker 1: you might be thinking, I do that already, and that
Speaker 1: wasn't my question, but I wanted to make that totally
Speaker 1: clear for anyone else that might be listening. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject line says just a young man needing some advice.
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, I'd like to remain anonymous if possible. I
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast on the way home from work
Speaker 1: every morning that a new one is available, and I
Speaker 1: just love it. Look forward to a little advice from you.
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen years old, I have a state job, and
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely happy where I live and where I'm at
Speaker 1: at my age, except for one thing. I've never been
Speaker 1: in a relationship, and I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I've talked with many girls, but we never seem to
Speaker 1: get past that stage. All my buddies seem to be
Speaker 1: happy in relationships, and I have no idea where to
Speaker 1: even start. How do I find someone that I could
Speaker 1: build my life with. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Speaker 1: Sorry for this being a bit long. Oh thank you, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much. Thanks for emailing. It's a
Speaker 1: good question, and I've got to validate your concern here
Speaker 1: because it could feel it could feel very lonely when
Speaker 1: you're looking around at all your friends and they're in
Speaker 1: relationships and you start thinking what's wrong with me? Like?
Speaker 1: What am I not doing what's the trick here? What
Speaker 1: am I saying to these girls? I say things and
Speaker 1: it never gets past this stage. It must be me,
Speaker 1: like I'm the only one messing this up. And that's
Speaker 1: such a microcosm of of us looking at our lives
Speaker 1: in general and everything we do and saying, why does
Speaker 1: he have that truck? I cannot barely afford my truck,
Speaker 1: but he's driving that one. How does he get it?
Speaker 1: Or even worse, looking at social media and going look
Speaker 1: at them on their own vacation right now. I can't
Speaker 1: even afford to take one day off my work, and
Speaker 1: they're enjoying the Bahamas. Look at them and they're beautiful,
Speaker 1: and they're on the beach. There's palm trees. Must be nice.
Speaker 1: And that is such a danger because those people on
Speaker 1: the beach have problems too. The guy in the new
Speaker 1: truck has a high payment and he's got problems too.
Speaker 1: And those people in the relationships that you're talking about
Speaker 1: your friends have problems in their relationship that you don't
Speaker 1: know about. They're not all perfect. In fact, none of
Speaker 1: them are, and all of them are going to lead
Speaker 1: to probably a breakup, and a few of them at
Speaker 1: your age at nineteen, maybe will end up in marriage,
Speaker 1: and of those maybe the ones that get married will
Speaker 1: last and not get a divorce. So we're not looking
Speaker 1: out at happiness all around you and you're the only
Speaker 1: one not sharing it. That's false. It's a false thought
Speaker 1: that you're having. So I want to clear that up
Speaker 1: right away. Your friends are not happier than you because
Speaker 1: they're in a relationship, because they're not telling you the
Speaker 1: whole story. Look at all the questions I've been reading today, buddy,
Speaker 1: that you know, I've made it very clear that people
Speaker 1: are just people are all struggling. The ones that are married,
Speaker 1: the ones that are engaged, the ones that are dating,
Speaker 1: they're all struggling at some level. And the ones that
Speaker 1: are single. The key to your question is finding contentment
Speaker 1: in your singleness, now, finding that place inside you that
Speaker 1: goes you know what. I'm in a really good spot right,
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen years old. I'm in a really good place.
Speaker 1: Like I don't need anything else, I don't need another
Speaker 1: person to add to to complete me. Hollywood has done
Speaker 1: a terrible job at making us think that we complete
Speaker 1: each other. Right, that's like the Jerry Maguire thing, Like
Speaker 1: you complete me. That is false. You don't need another
Speaker 1: human to complete you at all. You are complete now.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you checked? Have you done an X ray?
Speaker 1: There's nothing missing? Have you got an EKG of your heart?
Speaker 1: Is there half of your heart missing? No? Have you
Speaker 1: looked at Cat's scan of your brain? Is there like
Speaker 1: a chunk that's gone that someone else could come and
Speaker 1: bring and fix. No, that is a false word. No
Speaker 1: one is going to complete you. You are a full human.
Speaker 1: You're fully capable of being content the way you are,
Speaker 1: and that's where you you have to find. That's that's
Speaker 1: the place you have to find is ultimate contentment in
Speaker 1: yourself now. And what that does for you when you
Speaker 1: when you finally find this place where you go, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm good? Are you in a relationship, buddy? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not, oh man, And you think, but I'm good?
Speaker 1: And what that does for you? That's gonna put off
Speaker 1: this really nice fragrance of confidence and you what is
Speaker 1: it about him? What is it about this guy? I
Speaker 1: can't put my finger on it, but there's something just
Speaker 1: so strong and confident about him, and I can't put
Speaker 1: my finger on it. I'll tell you what it is.
Speaker 1: It's that contentment and their singleness. That's doing that for him,
Speaker 1: Because when you're not content and you're lonely, and you're desperate,
Speaker 1: and you're wondering what you're doing wrong and how to
Speaker 1: start a conversation and how to extend a conversation and
Speaker 1: how to go on a date. When you're worried about
Speaker 1: that and trying to analyze inside you what's gonna make
Speaker 1: you better, that's putting off the opposite of confidence, That
Speaker 1: is putting off a fragrance of unknown u lostness. Right,
Speaker 1: And so I would I would encourage you to dig
Speaker 1: on yourself, dig deep. Find the things that you love
Speaker 1: to do, Find your buddies, find the hobbies that you love,
Speaker 1: find the career that you love, find the maybe you're
Speaker 1: in school that you love, and realize, like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: realize that you're only nineteen once once this is your
Speaker 1: chance to be nineteen and single and content in your singleness,
Speaker 1: because once again, you're gonna look back on your deathbed
Speaker 1: years from now, decades from now, you're gonna look back
Speaker 1: and you will not look at nineteen and go that
Speaker 1: was a tough That was a tough year. I was
Speaker 1: very lonely. Nope, you're gonna look back and go nineteen. Huh,
Speaker 1: to have one more day as an old man. You'll
Speaker 1: say this, to have one more day to be nineteen,
Speaker 1: I would do anything for that time. Time is the
Speaker 1: most valuable possession we have, and we continually waste it.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Time is the most valuable possession in our
Speaker 1: lives and we waste it every day, every second we
Speaker 1: throw it away. And one day you're gonna look back
Speaker 1: and go to have one more day of being nineteen.
Speaker 1: What would I do? And the answer is not I
Speaker 1: would go and try to talk to a girl and
Speaker 1: be desperate. No, go fishing, man, go fishing, go hunting,
Speaker 1: Go with your buddies, do something that you love to do. Laugh, smile,
Speaker 1: and realize that you are complete already. And that is
Speaker 1: going to put off a confidence that will be like
Speaker 1: a magnet to the girls. They will see that and go,
Speaker 1: that guy's different. Something about that guy's different. It's because
Speaker 1: your contimp. We'll see you guys next Monday. Thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yig