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Speaker 1: Go into this with this mentality that you are not

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Speaker 1: worthy of forgiveness. Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast Grangersmith Podcast.

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Speaker 1: This is episode one twenty three. Thanks for listening, Thanks

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Speaker 1: for watching. If you're on Spotify or YouTube or wherever

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Speaker 1: you're coming from, I'm grateful to have you. This is

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite things that I do, one of

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Speaker 1: the most therapeutic things I do. Sit here with this

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Speaker 1: microphone and this table in my podcast room and dig

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Speaker 1: into your questions. You could ask me anything you want,

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Speaker 1: could be about any subject, and we get super deep.

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Speaker 1: If you came from listening on after Midnight my radio show, welcome,

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Speaker 1: If you came from the Smiths or Instagram or TikTok,

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Speaker 1: all these places. However you found this podcast, I'm grateful

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Speaker 1: for you. And if you have a question for me

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Speaker 1: about any subject, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: We'll add it to the queue here and get into it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm finally kind of coming up for air a

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Speaker 1: little bit because I've been really really bogged down this

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Speaker 1: last month filming this movie. We're filming this movie in Blanco,

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Speaker 1: Texas for four weeks, and I just I don't think

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Speaker 1: I realized how much time that was gonna take me

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Speaker 1: to put everything into this role and to be working

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Speaker 1: ten to twelve hour days every day for a month

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Speaker 1: and then and still trying to juggle with the radio

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Speaker 1: show after midnight, this podcast, The Smiths, random tour dates

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Speaker 1: here and there, and everything else that entails being a

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Speaker 1: father and a husband. And so I'm I'm really coming

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Speaker 1: back to life right now. And so this is the

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Speaker 1: first podcast I've done since we've finished the movie in

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty two where I actually have space again. And

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Speaker 1: so even though we just wrapped it and we just

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Speaker 1: finished the show last night in Saint Louis, Missouri, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm back and ready to focus. So please email me something.

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about your questions. As though we're

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Speaker 1: sitting around a campfire, it's late at night. You walk

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Speaker 1: up and you say, man, I can I run something

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Speaker 1: by you? I got a question, something that's been bothering

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Speaker 1: me or something I've been wondering for a long time,

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Speaker 1: And I don't have any notes on this table, and

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Speaker 1: we just walked through it in a conversation. I'm not

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Speaker 1: always right, but I'm gonna give you my opinion. It's

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Speaker 1: happening real time in my head, that's where we are.

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Speaker 1: I did pick an easy one to start with, and

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Speaker 1: it's because it's the subject line how to play how

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Speaker 1: to start playing guitar? So I thought, okay, perfect, well,

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Speaker 1: ease in into it this way, it says, Hey Granger,

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Speaker 1: my name is Dalton. I'm from a small town just

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Speaker 1: south of Louisville, Kentucky. My question is what should I

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Speaker 1: do as the first steps to playing the guitar. The

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Speaker 1: guitar was a graduation present from my former teacher and friend.

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Speaker 1: Any advice would be great to me on how to

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Speaker 1: start playing and learning a song to play. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Thank you for your time and answering my question. Dalton

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Speaker 1: shout out to Kentucky and Louisville, just south of Louisville.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for emailing buddy. And it's a good question.

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Speaker 1: I started when I was fourteen and I had a

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Speaker 1: guitar that was in the closet and it was my

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Speaker 1: grandmother's guitar that she no longer played. I think she

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Speaker 1: gave up on it. And you know what happened to

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Speaker 1: me originally was I had I was kind of interested

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Speaker 1: in this little girl in junior high and you know,

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Speaker 1: puppy love. And I was fourteen years old and she,

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Speaker 1: you know, we were like eighth grade. And I remember

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Speaker 1: overhearing her talk in the hallway in school and she

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Speaker 1: was talking about my friend Peter, and she said, she said, oh, Peter,

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Speaker 1: he's so dreamy. He plays guitar and he sings and

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Speaker 1: it's so dreamy. And I remember just thinking to myself,

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Speaker 1: she didn't know that I heard her say that, and

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking, I've got up my game. I've got

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Speaker 1: it up my game. I've got to figure this out.

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Speaker 1: So her name is Annie. I'll never forget Annie. Annie.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this to me. You changed my life. Now.

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Speaker 1: The irony is I started playing guitar to impress her,

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Speaker 1: just to just to know that I could. But what

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Speaker 1: happened was I really fell in love with playing guitar,

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Speaker 1: and then girls became secondary after that, which it's very

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Speaker 1: ironic how that happens. You learn something for the girl

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Speaker 1: and then you end up loving the thing that you

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Speaker 1: were wanting to impress them with, and then it consumed

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Speaker 1: the rest of my life. But how I did it, Dalton,

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Speaker 1: was I pulled that guitar out of the closet and

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Speaker 1: I there was a book inside there inside the case,

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Speaker 1: and it was like a basic how to play guitar book,

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Speaker 1: and it had fretboards lined out, and it had little

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Speaker 1: dots where you put your fingers, and so I'd just

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Speaker 1: look at the page and I would line my fingers

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Speaker 1: up on the fretboard to where the the corresponding dots

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Speaker 1: were on the page, and it would say, okay, this

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Speaker 1: is a D chord, and I put my fingers there,

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Speaker 1: and I would I would strum, you know, strum one time,

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Speaker 1: and then then I would just start listening to the

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Speaker 1: radio and I would listen to songs that I liked.

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Speaker 1: Back then, it was a lot of Alan Jackson and

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Speaker 1: George Strait and Merle Haggard, and I would find those

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Speaker 1: songs and those songs those artists that I mentioned. I

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Speaker 1: have a lot of very simple songs like Alan Jackson.

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Speaker 1: The first song I ever learned was called Dallas by

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Speaker 1: Alan Jackson, and it's only three chords in the entire song.

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Speaker 1: So I play those three chords and it was like

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Speaker 1: a D and E. Those three chords could get you

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Speaker 1: through the whole song of Dallas. And so I would

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Speaker 1: learn to strum just according to the way the song went,

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Speaker 1: and you know, of course it's rough at first and

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Speaker 1: my fingers ached. But then I just did it more

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Speaker 1: and more and I was determined to do it, and

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Speaker 1: I was passionate about doing it. And that's that's such

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Speaker 1: a life lesson for anything you're gonna you're gonna learn

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Speaker 1: something if you first are passionate about it. You want

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Speaker 1: to so bad that you want to overcome the time

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Speaker 1: it takes and the mistakes that you're making, and the

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Speaker 1: pain that was putting on my fingertips at the time,

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Speaker 1: little raw fingers were just bloody and raw and blistered.

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Speaker 1: And I just kept on it. And I remember the

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Speaker 1: very first time I came to my parents and played

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Speaker 1: a song for the first time, and they just couldn't

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Speaker 1: believe it, because they're not musical at all. They couldn't

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Speaker 1: believe that I was playing a song on the guitar.

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Speaker 1: And after that just learned more and more and more

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Speaker 1: and kept learning, adding new songs, and then getting with

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Speaker 1: other friends that played and they would say, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: you could. You could change that finger right there and

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Speaker 1: put it on that string and it makes that sound.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, wow, that's that's cool, And

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Speaker 1: just more and more of that, and then it was

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Speaker 1: a few years later, maybe it was one year later

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Speaker 1: when I started singing along with what I was playing,

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Speaker 1: and that was rough, too, but I just got really

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Speaker 1: interested in singing the songs along with what I was playing.

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Speaker 1: So I've kind of been doing both since the very beginning.

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Speaker 1: And then the next step for me was writing my

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Speaker 1: own songs, and that was the progression. And then I

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Speaker 1: started playing live and then playing those songs live, and

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Speaker 1: I just really became addicted to it. Nowadays, Dalton, you

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Speaker 1: could learn on YouTube. They have so many good programs.

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Speaker 1: I would not invest in a guitar teacher right now.

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Speaker 1: I would stick with free YouTube videos or a book

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Speaker 1: that you have laying around, and not worry about putting

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Speaker 1: a lot of money into a personal lesson. The guitar

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Speaker 1: is a big deal. The guitar itself. If you have

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Speaker 1: a cheap guitar like I did, or has a really

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Speaker 1: high action on it, that meaning the strings are pretty

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Speaker 1: pretty far distance from the actual fretboard, so it takes

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Speaker 1: a lot of effort to push them down. You could

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Speaker 1: switch to nylon strings, You could take them to a

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Speaker 1: guitar shop, or you can go buy them yourself. And

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Speaker 1: put on nylon strings instead of the steel strings, and

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Speaker 1: it's going to sound way different. It's going to sound

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Speaker 1: like a Mexican gut string classical guitar. But that's okay

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Speaker 1: because it's going to be a lot easier on your

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Speaker 1: fingers and it's a lot easier to get around. That's

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Speaker 1: what I did, and I still kind of recommend that

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Speaker 1: for people. Instead of in sead of going out and

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Speaker 1: buying one thousand dollars guitar, you could get a pawn

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Speaker 1: shop guitar and make it easier to play that way.

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Speaker 1: But as in anything in life, stick with it. Stick

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Speaker 1: with it. Thanks for the question, brother, Let's go up

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Speaker 1: to This is the first one on my list here

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Speaker 1: in no particular order. It just popped up first, and

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Speaker 1: the subject line says, I'm manipulative. Please help, Hey Granger,

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Speaker 1: I am Nathan Seeley. I'm twenty seven years old from

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Speaker 1: Madison or Meadville, Pennsylvania. I emailed you the other day

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Speaker 1: explaining some serious marriage issues I was going through and

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Recently, I've come to

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Speaker 1: realize that I'm a really bad manipulator. I've never realized

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Speaker 1: it until now. I'm working on getting myself help, but

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Speaker 1: I think it might be too late for me and

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Speaker 1: my wife. She has had enough and she's trying to

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Speaker 1: go through a divorce. We have two kids, We've been

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Speaker 1: together for ten years, married for four. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to lose her, and it's so hard because this last

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Speaker 1: year and a half she's been dealing with postpartum depression

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Speaker 1: slash depression and has been in and out of the hospital.

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Speaker 1: Now she's finally getting back to her feet and she

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Speaker 1: realizes how manip manipulative I am, and she's not willing

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Speaker 1: to stick around and help me through becoming a better

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Speaker 1: man for us and for her and our family. What

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Speaker 1: should I do to help her realize I'm trying my

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Speaker 1: hardest to get better without being like this before she

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Speaker 1: leaves or finds someone else. I'm currently not living with

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Speaker 1: her and she's already out the door. I never thought

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Speaker 1: I would lose her. This pain is unbearable. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: the advice. Your podcast has been extremely inspirational for me

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Speaker 1: and has helped me get to the point where I

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Speaker 1: am now. My kids are always asking me to play

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Speaker 1: some Yige music. Thanks again, Nathan Brother, Thanks for the question,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for thanks for the courage to email and put

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Speaker 1: your name in the in the email, and and and

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Speaker 1: be willing to be vulnerable enough for it to be

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Speaker 1: out there in the world, you know, for for other

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Speaker 1: people to hear, because I do know that you know

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Speaker 1: there is there's definitely a component of you wanting to

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Speaker 1: get advice on this podcast. But then there's another level

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Speaker 1: where I'm pretty sure you know that your question is

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Speaker 1: going to help others that hear it too. And that's

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Speaker 1: a big deal to be vulnerable enough to say I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna sacrifice my own pride and something that's

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Speaker 1: so sensitive to me and put it out there for

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Speaker 1: the case of others that might be might not quite

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Speaker 1: be ready to be as vulnerable publicly and but could

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Speaker 1: be listening to this podcast and want to hear. So

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Speaker 1: thank you for that. Man. The great the great thing

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Speaker 1: about this email, the great thing about the steps that

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Speaker 1: you're taking is realizing that you have a problem. And

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Speaker 1: that's step number one. You know, you're you're you've pinpointed

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Speaker 1: a pressure point for you of this manipulation that you're

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Speaker 1: that you're using and becoming and it's destroying things around you.

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Speaker 1: And I would hinge on that I would pivot all

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Speaker 1: over that that that point that you're making and tell

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Speaker 1: your wife that I just say, yeah, you know. It's

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Speaker 1: funny when I when I read these questions sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 1: I think to myself, what you emailed me needs to

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Speaker 1: be said to her, what you are vulnerable and enough

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Speaker 1: to disclose to me needs to be said in that

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Speaker 1: way to her in a controlled, quiet environment. I'm talking,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking you. You get her alone away from the

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Speaker 1: kids where you could actually have some one on one.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it could be just sitting in the car in

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Speaker 1: the driveway. It's like kind of I need to I

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Speaker 1: need to talk to you. I have. I have realized

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Speaker 1: over the years that I am being I'm manipulating you,

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Speaker 1: and it is destroying us, and it's destroying this relationship.

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Speaker 1: It's it's disrupting our love. And you have made me

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Speaker 1: realize through your leaving that I have to change because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to live without you. I love you.

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Speaker 1: I want to make this work. I can't bear the

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Speaker 1: thought of you leaving and it all cost. I want

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Speaker 1: to get better. I want to heal, and I want

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Speaker 1: you to know that I'm in the process of healing

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Speaker 1: and I'm still gonna mess up. I'm still a broken

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Speaker 1: man like we all are, me too, brother, But I

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Speaker 1: want to get on a path that's good and healthy

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Speaker 1: and that's good for you, that lifts you up. I

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Speaker 1: want to be the husband that you need and the

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Speaker 1: father that these kids deserve. And I want our kids

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Speaker 1: to have two parents that are married and happily in love.

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Speaker 1: I want that more than I want to manipulate. I

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Speaker 1: want that more than I want my job. I want

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Speaker 1: that more than I want my ambitions. For whatever the

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Speaker 1: passions I have in life, I want this more. And

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Speaker 1: look her in the eye, don't break eye contact, and

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Speaker 1: tell her this. I want you look at your wife

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Speaker 1: and tell her that I want you. It all cost.

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Speaker 1: Help me, please, help me to learn trust me. And

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Speaker 1: you might not believe me right off the bat. You

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Speaker 1: might not hear hear me saying this. You might think

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Speaker 1: it's just empty promises. But I want you to know that.

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Speaker 1: I want you to see by my actions from this

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Speaker 1: day forward that I'm gonna get better. And if I slip,

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Speaker 1: I want you to call me out and go there.

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Speaker 1: It is right there, there's the manipulation right there. And

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Speaker 1: then at that point, right then, Nathan, you pull back

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Speaker 1: and you go, yes, I'm so sorry. You're right. You

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Speaker 1: swallow the pride. Pride is a big deal in this

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Speaker 1: Pride is a big deal with so many things in life.

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Speaker 1: We are prideful beings, and so step aside from that pride.

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Speaker 1: And if she calls you out and goes there it is.

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Speaker 1: And even if you think I don't think it is,

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Speaker 1: or even if you think I think you're wrong, you

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Speaker 1: swallow that pride and go, I'm sorry. That's not being

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Speaker 1: a pushover, that's not being weak. That's called saving a marriage.

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Speaker 1: And there's no disgrace in that. As a man, there's

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Speaker 1: no disgrace to lose an argument to your wife. We'll

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Speaker 1: put it that way. There is nothing to gain by

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Speaker 1: winning an argument, or to being prideful and powering over

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Speaker 1: a situation just so you could be right, or so

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Speaker 1: you could look good in your own eyes, so you

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Speaker 1: could look like a man, so you could look like

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Speaker 1: you're strong and unwavering in your position. There's nothing to

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Speaker 1: gain from that. And you could see and the reason

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Speaker 1: you're emailing me is because you have now reached this

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Speaker 1: rock bottom position. And sometimes it's harder to see how

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Speaker 1: bad it is when you're in the marriage and things

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Speaker 1: are good and she's still living there and you guys

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Speaker 1: are going through these bickering arguments, but you don't see

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Speaker 1: it as clearly until she goes I'm out, I'm packing

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Speaker 1: up and I'm leaving, and I'm gonna find somebody new

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Speaker 1: that could take care of these kids. It's unfortunate as

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Speaker 1: humans that sometimes we need to hit that rock bottom

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Speaker 1: for us to finally see the light. But that's that's

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Speaker 1: what's happening. And so I would just be as honest

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Speaker 1: with her as you can, and I would swallow that pride,

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Speaker 1: and I would identify the problem that you see in

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Speaker 1: your eyes and don't point it back at her. Reason

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Speaker 1: this the urge to look at her and go, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna fix this manipulation, but you need to fix this

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Speaker 1: and this and this. Don't say it, swallow it because

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Speaker 1: guess what. Guess what. She already knows her problems. She

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Speaker 1: knows it, just like you know that manipulation is your problem.

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Speaker 1: She knows she's not perfect, she knows she has issues,

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Speaker 1: and you don't need to tell her that. And if

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Speaker 1: you're lucky, she might bring it up herself and go,

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Speaker 1: now that you say it, I want to admit some

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Speaker 1: things that I'm doing that I don't like about myself too.

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Speaker 1: Now you're on a path to build something again. The

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Speaker 1: brick wall has fallen and now you're building it back together.

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Speaker 1: You got the pieces on the ground and you're able

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Speaker 1: to start picking them up one by one and put

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Speaker 1: it back together. That's what you're doing. It's not gonna

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Speaker 1: be easy. It's not gonna be easy to swallow the pride.

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Speaker 1: It might not even be easy to get her alone

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Speaker 1: in this kind of conversation. But keep pursuing her. Don't

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Speaker 1: give up on this. It's that important. Give up on her.

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Speaker 1: Because you give up on her, you're also giving up

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Speaker 1: on your kids. And they're going to see that. And

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Speaker 1: your kids are gonna see, Daddy fought for this, Daddy

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Speaker 1: fought for mom. Daddy loved us and Mom so much

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Speaker 1: that he fought for us. They're going to see that.

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Speaker 1: You don't even have to tell them. And as they

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Speaker 1: get older, they're going to look back and remember that.

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Speaker 1: Go man, remember that time mom and dad went through

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Speaker 1: that rocky space and then Dad Dad just pursued her

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Speaker 1: and apologized and got better. And it wasn't perfect, it

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Speaker 1: never will be, but they got better. I wish you

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Speaker 1: the best, brother. Thanks for emailing Nathan. Next question comes

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Speaker 1: from Hunter says, Hey grad your My name is Hunter.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. I'm in college in Alabama. Recently

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Speaker 1: opened up to a girl about my feelings for her.

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Speaker 1: I've been friends with her ever since we started going

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Speaker 1: to college, and the conversation of me telling her about

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Speaker 1: my feelings, she never said if she feels the same

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Speaker 1: or not sure where to go from here. Part of

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Speaker 1: me feels like I should take a step back and

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Speaker 1: be patient. The other part of me wants to just

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Speaker 1: continue to be on this to be the same as

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Speaker 1: it was before I even brought this up at all.

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? I appreciate your time in the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thanks Hunter, shout out to Alabama. Thanks for the question.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for opening up like this. This is tough. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've said on this podcast before. You probably heard me.

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Speaker 1: If you got if you have feelings for for a

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Speaker 1: girl like this, then you need to you need to

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Speaker 1: tell her because you can't. You can't just exist in

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Speaker 1: this this fairy tale land where your friends and and

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00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 1: she doesn't know how you feel, and it's hurting you

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00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 1: inside that you want to tell her, but you don't

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00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,480
Speaker 1: really know how to take it, so you got to

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Speaker 1: just do it. So I believe you did the right thing.

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Speaker 1: But in me telling you to do that through this podcast,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't it doesn't guarantee her answer. It doesn't. It

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00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 1: doesn't guarantee that she's gonna say, wow, you like me, Wow,

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00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 1: thanks for saying that, because I actually like you too.

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00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 1: That's just not a guarantee. But that's why you take

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Speaker 1: a risk. That's why we risk anything in life. That's

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Speaker 1: why we jump. We don't always know if we're gonna

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Speaker 1: land the jump, but we jump it for the sake

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Speaker 1: of maybe landing it. Most of the time we fall.

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Speaker 1: You took a risk, and I think this is a

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00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 1: fall for you, But you know what you'll do. You'll

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00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,720
Speaker 1: get back up, You'll build yourself up, you'll build your confidence,

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Speaker 1: you'll heal the wound from the fall, and you'll be

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Speaker 1: ready to jump again, and you'll keep jumping. And that's life.

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Speaker 1: You keep taking the leap, and you take the leap

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Speaker 1: knowing that if I fall, I'm okay because I know

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Speaker 1: that fallen before, and I'll get up again and it

355
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 1: might hurt, Yeah, probably will hurt, but that's what we do.

356
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 1: Now you're stuck. Now you're stuck saying maybe the jump

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Speaker 1: was wrong, maybe the leap was wrong, but it wasn't

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00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: you know it wasn't take yourself back in your mindset

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00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,959
Speaker 1: before you told her. Now you're back in this this

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00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 1: la la land where she doesn't know how you feel,

361
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: and and you're wondering if she feels the same way.

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Speaker 1: That's no place to be, that's no place to live.

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Speaker 1: We live for the jump, we live for the leap, Buddie.

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of you for doing that. And I can't

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00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 1: guarantee she's gonna come around, but you're gonna heal and

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00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna If she doesn't like you, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you could bring it up again if you want. But

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Speaker 1: but the fact that she's not already saying it says

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Speaker 1: a lot. Her saying nothing says a lot. So if

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Speaker 1: you don't already know it by now, I'm guessing through

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00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 1: the situation that she's she doesn't reciprocate those feelings for you.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it hurts. It hurts because you you you

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Speaker 1: not only have put yourself out there, you've exposed yourself

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Speaker 1: and and you've poured your heart out and you've just

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00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,679
Speaker 1: exposed yourself right there. And not only did you do that,

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00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: but you also feel like you lost a friend because

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00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 1: now it's weird between you two and it might never

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00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: be the same. And I'm sorry, man, but that's that's

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00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: a step. That's a step that you needed to take,

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Speaker 1: and that that's a that's an injury that needed to happen.

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00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: And now you'll heal. And I'm here to tell you

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Speaker 1: the great news, the great news about you and college

383
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 1: in Alabama at age twenty. This is a guarantee, this

384
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 1: is a podcast guarantee. You'll find somebody else and it'll

385
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: be better. It'll be a better feeling. This feeling will

386
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 1: even be stronger. Those butterflies that you have will be

387
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 1: will be even greater with somebody else. And the reason

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00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: they'll be greater is because you know what it was

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00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: like to fall once and there will be more falls,

390
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 1: but you'll learn from that. I'm sorry to tell you.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could say no, man, here's the trick.

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00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 1: You know you should have said this, and then now

393
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 1: she's gonna love you. Time is gonna heal. Time is

394
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: your friend focused on school, focused on college twenty years old.

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00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: You're only gonna get this chance one time, one time,

396
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: to be twenty in college in Alabama. Bro, you're gonna

397
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 1: look you're gonna be fifty years old looking back, and

398
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 1: you will not look back at age fifty and go. Man,

399
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,160
Speaker 1: you know what was really tough? Being twenty in college

400
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,239
Speaker 1: in Alabama. You're never gonna say that. You're gonna go.

401
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: You know what you'll say. You'll say just to have

402
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: one day, just to have one more day of being

403
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 1: twenty in college again, that's what you'll say. You're not

404
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 1: gonna look back and go. That was a tough year.

405
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: Remember that girl I was friends with and I told

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00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 1: her I liked her and she didn't say she liked

407
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 1: me back. Wow, that was tough. You're not gonna say that.

408
00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: Enjoy being twenty, brother. Let's grab another This might be

409
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: simple subject line says calling something God defining blasphemy. Hey, Granger,

410
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 1: I might be over analyzing this, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: determine as simply using the name word God as a

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00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: descriptor is blasphemous or not. When I hear God, I

413
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: feel a sense of reverence in worship. Some people will

414
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 1: say OMG or even things like movie titles like Lord

415
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: of the Rings or calling a group the god of

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00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,719
Speaker 1: something because they're really good at what they do. If

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00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 1: you were called the country music god or god of

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00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: country music, how would that make you feel? I know

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00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: when something is blatantly blasphemous, But where is the line?

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00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 1: I hope I'm making sense. I would love to hear

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00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 1: your perspective. Best to you and your family. Mark from

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00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: where Dallas Fort Worth? What's up? Mark? Yeah? I think

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00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 1: this is pretty easy. I feel the same way. Man.

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Speaker 1: If anyone said, if anyone had a meet and greet

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Speaker 1: came up and said, Granger, you are the god of

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00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: country music, I would get. I mean I would get.

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00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: I would feel very weird about that. Humans are not gods.

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00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 1: We never were meant to be a god, and we

429
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: can't even pretend like it. In fact, we're not meant

430
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: to be worshiped at all at all. Look at any

431
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: kind of history. Look at anybody in history that was

432
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: ever worshiped. What did that do to them? Destroy them?

433
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm talking, I'm talking anyone from ancient kings to Elvis.

434
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: When they get worshiped to a certain level and it

435
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 1: goes to their head and they actually buy into the worship.

436
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: They actually start believing that they're worthy of the worship.

437
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 1: That's the key. They get destroyed. It kills them, literally

438
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 1: killed Elvis, and literally destroys the mental health of anyone

439
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 1: that reaches a certain status of human worship and they're

440
00:23:55,480 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: actually believing that it's worthy of right. So so yeah, yeah,

441
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 1: I don't think this is a like a big deal

442
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 1: or anything. I don't think it's something we call people out.

443
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think you'd reply on a

444
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: text and say, don't ever say oh MG to me again.

445
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: You know, I don't, I don't. We don't. We don't

446
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 1: have to go there, right like it's become it's become

447
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 1: just a part of conversation. But if it's if it's

448
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 1: like a blatant you're the god of country music, I

449
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: would stop them right there and say no, no, no, no,

450
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 1: even the word idle like idle man, Granger, you're my idol.

451
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like that. I said. I'm not

452
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: your idol. Man. I'm just a man. I'm just a fallen,

453
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: broken man just trying to trying to get by in

454
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: this world. My profession is playing music and speaking on

455
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 1: a podcast and writing songs, and it's that's what I

456
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: do for money, that's what I do for a living.

457
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: That's my career and it is no different than if

458
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 1: I was hanging power lines for the telephone company and

459
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: that was my career and I was really good at it.

460
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: What goes with that is no one goes up to

461
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: a guy hanging power lines and go, oh my god,

462
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: you're my idol. Right, No, we wouldn't say any We

463
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that sentence at all, oh my god, you're

464
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 1: my idol. But but that's what you would say to

465
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: a celebrity. So we need we we should correct them.

466
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: If anyone would say that, I would I would correct them.

467
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: And she say, man, I'm just I'm just a man.

468
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,679
Speaker 1: I'm just a man. I make mistakes. I am I'm

469
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: just a man that chose this career path and crafted

470
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: it just like anyone else. I've worked a lot of

471
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: hours to get to what I'm doing now. I wasn't

472
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: born with it. I wasn't just born with this. I've

473
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: worked a lot of hours just like anyone else that

474
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: is in a has longevity in a career, and I

475
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: fail all the time. It is not I'm not worthy

476
00:25:55,640 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 1: of your worship or your idolatry because I am I.

477
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: I am a failure in so many ways. So so yeah,

478
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think it's a big deal, but

479
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: it's worth it's worth a correction. Let's take a break

480
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast is brought to us today

481
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482
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483
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484
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Speaker 1: their little bottles of elixir. And it's interesting because it

485
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Speaker 1: came at a time when I was shooting this movie

486
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Speaker 1: and we were just in the dead heat of the movie.

487
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 1: I was skipping dinner most nights, I wasn't getting all

488
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Speaker 1: my nutrition, and I was also having to be completely creative,

489
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490
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491
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492
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493
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494
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495
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496
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497
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498
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499
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500
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501
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502
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503
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504
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505
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506
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507
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508
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509
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510
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511
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512
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513
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514
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516
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517
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518
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520
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521
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522
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523
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524
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533
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: into the next question subject line here is faith issues

534
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: slash forgiveness issues. Hey grangew please keep my name anonymous.

535
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: I'm thirteen years old. I'm from Arkansas. When I ask

536
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: for forgiveness from God. I feel like I'm forgetting to

537
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: do something and afterwards, I don't feel like I'm even

538
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: forgiven at all, and I don't know why. Thanks so much, eye, okay,

539
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: I would well thirteen. Thanks for emailing. It's it's it's

540
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 1: not a bad question. It's a legit question, and it's

541
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: it comes with a deeper wisdom of what we're going

542
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: to learn from the Bible itself, that that we are

543
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 1: first of all, this is, this is going to be key.

544
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: As I'm holding my coffee cup here, wretched center coffee

545
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: cup here, go into this with this mentality that you

546
00:29:54,120 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: are not worthy of forgiveness. Look at it from that perspective.

547
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: Instead of saying I need to be forgiven and I'm asking,

548
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: but I don't feel like it. Flip it. Flip it

549
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: in your mind and think to yourself, I am not

550
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: worthy of forgiveness, but God forgives me anyway. And that

551
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: is profound and that is deep, and it's it's overwhelming

552
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: to think of it that way. You're not worthy of forgiveness,

553
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: You are a wretched sinner, and yet God is going

554
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: to forgive you anyway through your your repentance and not

555
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. And so instead of instead of thinking

556
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: thinking to yourself, I don't feel forgiven, think to yourself instead,

557
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be forgiven, but I'm asking for it, and

558
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: he does it anyway, and it's incredible and it's the Gospel.

559
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: And through that, your job, through that, besides reading the

560
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: Bible in your own time, is forgiving others. Forgive others

561
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: as you are forgiven. So use that when you start

562
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: feeling like I ask for forgiveness and I don't feel

563
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: like I'm forgiven, use that as an action for yourself

564
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 1: and think of someone in your life that maybe you're

565
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: holding a grudge about your mom, a friend from school,

566
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: somebody that did something to you, maybe someone you just despise,

567
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: because you know the Bible says it's easy. It's easy

568
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: to forgive someone you really love and they're a great person.

569
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: It's easy to love someone that's a great, loving person.

570
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: But it's difficult to love someone that's your enemy, someone

571
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: that you despise, someone that is treats you terribly. That's difficult.

572
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: And that's what God does to you, right to all

573
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: of us, to all of humanity that ask for repentance.

574
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 1: So there's this idea that you think about your life

575
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 1: and you think about that bullying in your school, right,

576
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: think about that one kid that just messes with you,

577
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: that gives you the eye. You can't even get by

578
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: in the hallway because he looks at you weird. And

579
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: I know you're thirteen. I was there, and I know

580
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: this exists at some level in your life. Right, you're

581
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: in the food chain somewhere at thirteen. I was too.

582
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: But there's that one kid. He's just a punk man.

583
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: He's a punk and every time you walk by and

584
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: he looks at you funny, he wants to say something

585
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: negative about you. He's given you the stink eye all

586
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: the time. He's the guy that when you're walking home

587
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: from school and you're like, oh, no, there he is

588
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: that guy. Forgive that guy with all of your heart.

589
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: Look at him right in the eye and think to yourself,

590
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 1: I forgive you. Man. You're an image bearer of God,

591
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: and I forgive you. And when you start doing that,

592
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: when you practice that, when you go through your mind

593
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: and you find those people in your mind and you

594
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: truly forgive them, not because of what they're doing right now,

595
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: but what they're capable of. You forgive people. You love

596
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: your enemy not for not for the actions they're doing

597
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: to you right now, but you love them because of

598
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: what they're capable of, because they're image bearers of God.

599
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: Right like like when you when you are in a war,

600
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: you're in a battle and you're you're looking face to

601
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: face to the enemy and he's shooting at you. It's

602
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 1: not that that you love. It's it's it's the heart

603
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: and soul and blood and sinew and bones and brain

604
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: inside him. That's an image bearer of God that was

605
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: made in the image of God, that has potential to

606
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: be good one day, just like you, and you forgive

607
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: them and you love them, and when you turn that

608
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: into an action, it would be interesting on how your

609
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: perspective comes back on how you feel forgiven when you

610
00:33:53,960 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: ask for forgiveness. Do that. Next question says trust, subdecline.

611
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: Hey gring, your my name a Scout. Me and my

612
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: mom lately have not been getting along, mainly with my grades.

613
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: I'm not the best at math. Sometimes she thinks I'm

614
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 1: lying to her when I'm not. What is your advice

615
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: on this? Thanks so much, God bless my advice Scout

616
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 1: on this is simple. Obey your mother obey your mother

617
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: and father. There's a reason. That's part of the Ten commandments.

618
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: You know. It's funny with with the law, with God's

619
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 1: law for us, we continually mix up why there is

620
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: a law, why law exists, and why the law intercedes

621
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 1: through the entire Old Testament. We start to think as

622
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: humans that it exists in some way to please God.

623
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 1: That's why the law exists. We do we obey the

624
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: law because God wants us to for him, and that's

625
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: just not the rea. The reason is God made the

626
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: law for us so that we could we could fulfill

627
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 1: our best lives to worship Him, so we could have

628
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: the full capacity and the full availability to worship Him.

629
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: And that's our instruction manual, Like the law is our

630
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: instruction manual so that we could run our best It's

631
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 1: like if Ford Ford Truck, you know, gives you a

632
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 1: new raptor and they say, here's the instruction manual to

633
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: this raptor. And what's very important is that you put

634
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: unleaded gasoline in this raptor. Don't put diesel in it.

635
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 1: And you could think why would they say that, Like

636
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: why does why does Ford needs me to put put

637
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: a certain kind of gasoline in here. Why do they

638
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: care because because they made it, They built it, they

639
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 1: created it out of a factory, and when they put

640
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: the parts together and they built this engine, they made

641
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: a gasoline engine. So they're telling you do this if

642
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: you want to run correctly. And so part of the

643
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: law is obey your mother and father. And there's a

644
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: reason it's not. It's not so that you could please

645
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 1: God with obeying it. It's so that you run, your

646
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: engine runs correctly, so that then you could be the

647
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: best you, so that you don't you don't have problems,

648
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: so that you don't have to email this podcast going

649
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: we're butting heads and I don't know why. Then you

650
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: go back and you go, well, what am I doing wrong?

651
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 1: I'm not obeying my mother because I could tell you

652
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: your mother wants what's best for you. That's what mothers do.

653
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: It's what they that's what they do best. And if

654
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 1: you're not that good at math, I wasn't either. She

655
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: knows that. But she wants you to reach your full potential.

656
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: So she's wanting you to engage in focus and study,

657
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: and and she's calling you out for lying if you're

658
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: saying I did study and she's going, well, I don't

659
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: see the results of the study because you're still failing

660
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,080
Speaker 1: this class. So are you lying to me? And may

661
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 1: you are, maybe you aren't. But the bottom line is

662
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 1: she's saying all this because she wants you to be

663
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 1: the best that you could be, to reach your full

664
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: potential for you, not for her. She wants you to

665
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: be the best because because she carried you in her

666
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: womb and you are part of her. So sometimes I

667
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,439
Speaker 1: can come across as is, you know, butting heads and

668
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 1: having these problems. But but she just wants what's best

669
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,280
Speaker 1: for you. So my advice is you're asking my advice.

670
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: Me and my mom had not been getting along, mainly

671
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: with my grades. My advice is obey her. Hey mom,

672
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do? I want you

673
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 1: to study? Okay, I will, I'll study. I want you

674
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: to not go with your friends on Wednesday night to

675
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 1: the whatever that you're doing. I want you to stay

676
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: here and study. And you go, okay, I will. Wow,

677
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: you know, like like that changes everything. She's gonna go, wait,

678
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: what what, Yeah, I'll study, I'll do it. I'll do it.

679
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: Why because you told me to and I know that

680
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: you know what's best for me, and you want what's

681
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: best for me, right, do it? Obey her? That's my advice.

682
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: Next question, the subject line says he doesn't want to

683
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: get married. Hey, Grainderam from Sacramento, California, recently learned about

684
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: your podcast and find peace in the genuine advice that

685
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: you give. I've been in a relationship for four years,

686
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: and about a year ago he proposed, but it was

687
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 1: a kind of ultimatum situation. Since then, I've been the

688
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: only one that brings up talking about the future or

689
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: coming up with a wedding date, and when I do,

690
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: he seems annoyed. He never wants to break up. He

691
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: wonders why I'm not happy with the way things are

692
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 1: right now. He continues investing in our current relationship, but

693
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,879
Speaker 1: I want more of a commitment and a husband. How

694
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: do I know when it's time to walk away? Okay,

695
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to read your name because you didn't

696
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: say it, so I'll call you anonymous. Okay, I think

697
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: this is pretty pretty cut and dry what I would do.

698
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: First of all, I want to validate your concern. I

699
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's a legitimate concern that he proposed.

700
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: But now he's completely avoiding the conversation of nailing down

701
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: a date or a venue or anything that has to

702
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: do with marriage. Here's my advice. You're probably living with him,

703
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: right I wish you were here around the campfire and

704
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: we could talk about this, but you're probably living with him.

705
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: Move out, move out, get your own apartment. Well that's expensive.

706
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 1: Move in with the friend, sleep on a couch, move out,

707
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: move away. I'm not telling you to break up with him.

708
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to end this relationship. I'm saying

709
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 1: move take all of your stuff, you toothbrush and everything out.

710
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: If you're in a lease together, break it. Tell him

711
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: you're doing this. Tell him you love him, you want

712
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: to be with him, you want to marry him. You're

713
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: so excited about this engagement. But until you have a

714
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: ring on your finger and you have said your vows,

715
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: you are moving out. You don't want to hear this

716
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: from me, do you. This is not what you were

717
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:35,280
Speaker 1: expecting me to say, is it? Move out? Move out?

718
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: He is completely content with where he is right now

719
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: because he is getting everything that he needs from you

720
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: right now. Why would he want to get married when

721
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 1: he has everything right now? Without the legal document he

722
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: still has an out, he still has a way out

723
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 1: the back door, just in case things go bad, get out.

724
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 1: It's nothing on him, it's nothing, it's nothing on the relationship.

725
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: This is just a way to alter things, a way

726
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: to shake things up a little bit. And that's what

727
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 1: you have to do. You are not happy, You're uncomfortable.

728
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: You're emailing me about this because you are. You're you're

729
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 1: getting overwhelmed with this, this frustration. Otherwise, you wouldn't have

730
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: emailed this to me, you wouldn't have taken the time

731
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: to to fire off this email. You're you are overwhelmed

732
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 1: by the situation. And I don't blame you. But he

733
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: has everything he needs right now, and you need to

734
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:40,320
Speaker 1: take that away because that's not his, that is yours.

735
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: It's not his yet. Now. When you guys are married,

736
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,760
Speaker 1: you share everything. But right now, I'm not just talking

737
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 1: about sex. I'm talking about the rent, the groceries, the dog.

738
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: Everything that you share is not his to share with you.

739
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: Right now. That's so important. You can't play house like this. Listen.

740
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not I'm not looking down on you.

741
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm not condemning you at all. I have I have

742
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: my own flaws. I have my own problems. I'm just,

743
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 1: as I say a lot. I'm one beggar telling another

744
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: beggar where I found bread. And I'm just showing you

745
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: through my wretchedness. I'm showing you how I found my way. Okay,

746
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 1: take it from him, Take it away from him. He

747
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: is happy and content. He has no reason to move

748
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: this forward. Give him a reason to move it forward.

749
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: Make him lay in that bed by himself and think,

750
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: I miss her? How could I fix this? I need

751
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 1: I need her. She's a cross town right now. I

752
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: can't stand just talking to her on the phone. I

753
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 1: miss her being here. Make him think that. And if

754
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: he doesn't, if you move out and he doesn't, goodbye,

755
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: good good. Now you know that's a good thing. You

756
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: shook it up and you figured out it wasn't gonna

757
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 1: work anyway. But I think it might go the other direction.

758
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,720
Speaker 1: Let's break this deepness and go into something simple here. Hey, Grangeur,

759
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 1: what's your favorite guitar brand? Do you play any other

760
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 1: instruments than guitar? Thank you for you and your family.

761
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: Yegey from North Carolina. That comes from Max and Hudson,

762
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Shout out to North Carolina. Yeah, brother, I

763
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: play play any pretty much any kind of strength instrument

764
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: and keyboard, piano and pedal steel guitar, and I like

765
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: to play. Currently, I play a lot of Martin, and

766
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: I also play Gibson and Takamin and LV and Fender.

767
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: I have a lot. I have a lot of guitars.

768
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: It's kind of a bad vice for me, but it

769
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: goes with the trade. I have a lot. I have

770
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 1: a lot of old Martins and really old Gibson and

771
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: some brand new Martins. The new Martins, we have two

772
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 1: of them that travel with me on normal tour dates,

773
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: and they're just super durable. They last forever, They last

774
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: in different humidities and different temperature changes, and they are workhorses,

775
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: and most importantly, they sound great through all of that

776
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: kind of adversity. So if you're going to say you

777
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 1: got to choose one right now, I would choose the

778
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 1: Martin that I play now that you see me post

779
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: pictures on in my shows today. That Martin is rock solid.

780
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: It's actually a John Mayer's signature. Next question, subject line

781
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: daily devotional. Hey Grangdeer, love listening to your podcast. Thank

782
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: you for all you do and all the advice you give.

783
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a new daily devotional, wondering you had

784
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: any kind of recommendations. Thanks, JB. Yeah, JB. I think

785
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 1: I think there's a there's a ton of daily readers,

786
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: daily devotionals that are great, but if you go to

787
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: if you go to like a Christian bookstore, there's a

788
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: lot of them you can thumb through and find find

789
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: the one that speaks to you in a way. And

790
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,919
Speaker 1: because they're they're tailored. I've read ones that are from

791
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: the perspective of sitting in a deer blind It's like

792
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 1: deer blind devotional or something, you know, something like that.

793
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: And then there's you know, everything from that to Jesus

794
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: Calling to Billy Graham devotion daily devotionals. But I don't

795
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: really want to pinpoint that and nail one down for

796
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: you because I think it's much much, one thousand percent

797
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: more important for you to make sure that that is

798
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 1: only supplementing your reading, it's only secondary to what you're

799
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: reading each day. And that's the danger I feel of

800
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: devotionals as they to start making that become your only

801
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: way to read the Word of God is through a

802
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: devotional or an app on your phone that pops up

803
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 1: a Bible verse. I want to encourage you to actually

804
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: read the Bible itself, and a good way I'm not

805
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 1: going to say the best. A good way to do

806
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: that is through a plan, a reading plan. I personally

807
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: read on one called the mix Shane Plan Mix Shane

808
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 1: Bible Reading something, and it is for that plan. For me,

809
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: it is twice to the New Testament, twice to the Psalms,

810
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 1: and once to the Old Testament in one year. So

811
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: I do it through an app called Logos. Then I

812
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 1: do it on my phone or my iPad, and that

813
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: allows me to go wherever I am, wherever I'm traveling,

814
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: if I don't have a night light, if I'm on

815
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: a plane, if I'm in bed and it's dark, I

816
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 1: could just pop up my iPad and it pops up

817
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: the next chapter that I need to read. And that

818
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: equates to for me, four chapters in the morning, and

819
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,480
Speaker 1: it's going to be something like one Old Testament, one Psalm,

820
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: and two New Testaments. And it could take me fifteen

821
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: minutes or could take me an hour, depending on how

822
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: deep it is or how much I'm trying to focus

823
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: on it. But before you start that, you just say God,

824
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm about to open your word. I'm about to read this.

825
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 1: This is the living, breathing word of God, and I

826
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: needed to speak to me. Open my eyes to it

827
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: today this morning. Open my eyes to this, to what

828
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: it's about to speak to me, and soak it in

829
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: and read that. And then the more you do that,

830
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 1: the more that becomes normal, it becomes habit. And at

831
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 1: that point, what you're doing is you're reading it yourself

832
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 1: instead of a devotional telling you here's a verse and

833
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: here's what to think about it. Instead, you're reading the

834
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 1: word in its natural form, and then versus are popping

835
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: out to you and you go, that's interesting. That's not

836
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: the most famous verse in this chapter, but this versus

837
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 1: interesting to me. And then from there you can go

838
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,439
Speaker 1: research it and you could look it up and read

839
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 1: commentary on it while you're processing it to yourself. And

840
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 1: it's so much more powerful than a devotional, which is

841
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 1: someone telling you automatically what to think about it. It's

842
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: important and I think it's something something to consider. And

843
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: you might be thinking, I do that already, and that

844
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: wasn't my question, but I wanted to make that totally

845
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,959
Speaker 1: clear for anyone else that might be listening. Next question,

846
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 1: subject line says just a young man needing some advice.

847
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, I'd like to remain anonymous if possible. I

848
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast on the way home from work

849
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: every morning that a new one is available, and I

850
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: just love it. Look forward to a little advice from you.

851
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen years old, I have a state job, and

852
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely happy where I live and where I'm at

853
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: at my age, except for one thing. I've never been

854
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 1: in a relationship, and I don't know what to do.

855
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 1: I've talked with many girls, but we never seem to

856
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 1: get past that stage. All my buddies seem to be

857
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: happy in relationships, and I have no idea where to

858
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,919
Speaker 1: even start. How do I find someone that I could

859
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 1: build my life with. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

860
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 1: Sorry for this being a bit long. Oh thank you, Anonymous.

861
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much. Thanks for emailing. It's a

862
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: good question, and I've got to validate your concern here

863
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: because it could feel it could feel very lonely when

864
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 1: you're looking around at all your friends and they're in

865
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 1: relationships and you start thinking what's wrong with me? Like?

866
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: What am I not doing what's the trick here? What

867
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: am I saying to these girls? I say things and

868
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 1: it never gets past this stage. It must be me,

869
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: like I'm the only one messing this up. And that's

870
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 1: such a microcosm of of us looking at our lives

871
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 1: in general and everything we do and saying, why does

872
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 1: he have that truck? I cannot barely afford my truck,

873
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 1: but he's driving that one. How does he get it?

874
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: Or even worse, looking at social media and going look

875
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: at them on their own vacation right now. I can't

876
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: even afford to take one day off my work, and

877
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: they're enjoying the Bahamas. Look at them and they're beautiful,

878
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:31,760
Speaker 1: and they're on the beach. There's palm trees. Must be nice.

879
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: And that is such a danger because those people on

880
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: the beach have problems too. The guy in the new

881
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: truck has a high payment and he's got problems too.

882
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 1: And those people in the relationships that you're talking about

883
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: your friends have problems in their relationship that you don't

884
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 1: know about. They're not all perfect. In fact, none of

885
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: them are, and all of them are going to lead

886
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: to probably a breakup, and a few of them at

887
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 1: your age at nineteen, maybe will end up in marriage,

888
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 1: and of those maybe the ones that get married will

889
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: last and not get a divorce. So we're not looking

890
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: out at happiness all around you and you're the only

891
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 1: one not sharing it. That's false. It's a false thought

892
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: that you're having. So I want to clear that up

893
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 1: right away. Your friends are not happier than you because

894
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 1: they're in a relationship, because they're not telling you the

895
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: whole story. Look at all the questions I've been reading today, buddy,

896
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: that you know, I've made it very clear that people

897
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 1: are just people are all struggling. The ones that are married,

898
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 1: the ones that are engaged, the ones that are dating,

899
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: they're all struggling at some level. And the ones that

900
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: are single. The key to your question is finding contentment

901
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: in your singleness, now, finding that place inside you that

902
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: goes you know what. I'm in a really good spot right,

903
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen years old. I'm in a really good place.

904
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: Like I don't need anything else, I don't need another

905
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 1: person to add to to complete me. Hollywood has done

906
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: a terrible job at making us think that we complete

907
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 1: each other. Right, that's like the Jerry Maguire thing, Like

908
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 1: you complete me. That is false. You don't need another

909
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 1: human to complete you at all. You are complete now.

910
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 1: I mean, have you checked? Have you done an X ray?

911
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: There's nothing missing? Have you got an EKG of your heart?

912
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: Is there half of your heart missing? No? Have you

913
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 1: looked at Cat's scan of your brain? Is there like

914
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 1: a chunk that's gone that someone else could come and

915
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: bring and fix. No, that is a false word. No

916
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 1: one is going to complete you. You are a full human.

917
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: You're fully capable of being content the way you are,

918
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: and that's where you you have to find. That's that's

919
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: the place you have to find is ultimate contentment in

920
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: yourself now. And what that does for you when you

921
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 1: when you finally find this place where you go, you

922
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: know what, I'm good? Are you in a relationship, buddy? No,

923
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: I'm not, oh man, And you think, but I'm good?

924
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 1: And what that does for you? That's gonna put off

925
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 1: this really nice fragrance of confidence and you what is

926
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 1: it about him? What is it about this guy? I

927
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: can't put my finger on it, but there's something just

928
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 1: so strong and confident about him, and I can't put

929
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 1: my finger on it. I'll tell you what it is.

930
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 1: It's that contentment and their singleness. That's doing that for him,

931
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: Because when you're not content and you're lonely, and you're desperate,

932
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 1: and you're wondering what you're doing wrong and how to

933
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 1: start a conversation and how to extend a conversation and

934
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: how to go on a date. When you're worried about

935
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 1: that and trying to analyze inside you what's gonna make

936
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 1: you better, that's putting off the opposite of confidence, That

937
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 1: is putting off a fragrance of unknown u lostness. Right,

938
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 1: And so I would I would encourage you to dig

939
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 1: on yourself, dig deep. Find the things that you love

940
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 1: to do, Find your buddies, find the hobbies that you love,

941
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,919
Speaker 1: find the career that you love, find the maybe you're

942
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 1: in school that you love, and realize, like I said earlier,

943
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: realize that you're only nineteen once once this is your

944
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 1: chance to be nineteen and single and content in your singleness,

945
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: because once again, you're gonna look back on your deathbed

946
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 1: years from now, decades from now, you're gonna look back

947
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: and you will not look at nineteen and go that

948
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 1: was a tough That was a tough year. I was

949
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: very lonely. Nope, you're gonna look back and go nineteen. Huh,

950
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: to have one more day as an old man. You'll

951
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: say this, to have one more day to be nineteen,

952
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: I would do anything for that time. Time is the

953
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: most valuable possession we have, and we continually waste it.

954
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Time is the most valuable possession in our

955
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:20,799
Speaker 1: lives and we waste it every day, every second we

956
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 1: throw it away. And one day you're gonna look back

957
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: and go to have one more day of being nineteen.

958
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: What would I do? And the answer is not I

959
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: would go and try to talk to a girl and

960
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 1: be desperate. No, go fishing, man, go fishing, go hunting,

961
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: Go with your buddies, do something that you love to do. Laugh, smile,

962
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 1: and realize that you are complete already. And that is

963
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 1: going to put off a confidence that will be like

964
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 1: a magnet to the girls. They will see that and go,

965
00:55:56,719 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 1: that guy's different. Something about that guy's different. It's because

966
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: your contimp. We'll see you guys next Monday. Thanks for listening,

967
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I

968
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out

969
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

970
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and

971
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

972
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

973
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

974
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yig