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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: firms show. Alright, So it's Elvis and Gandhi in a

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Speaker 1: room full of bitter hats. You are so correct. True.

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Speaker 1: So around the big podcast table, it's Gandhi and Dave

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Speaker 1: Brody and there's Garrett and there's Scotty B. With a

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Speaker 1: very special assignment is disgusting. We've got uh scary and straightening.

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Speaker 1: You haven't heard disgusting yet. Here's this. There's a hair

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Speaker 1: on the microphoney that happens. Okay, by the way. Uh

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Speaker 1: so on the Big Show today, we're talking about something

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Speaker 1: that Scotty did in our radio studios years ago, and

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Speaker 1: uh he's now going to divulge what that was. But

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Speaker 1: I think I sort of know what it is now,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know if we should talk about it.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to talk about it. I think you

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Speaker 1: know what it is. Should we vote or yes or no?

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Speaker 1: Say pass it made straight name? Laugh, Let's vot. I

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Speaker 1: always vote, talk about it? Okay? So yea from Gandhi?

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, yeah, Garrett, No, that's a name, Scotty B.

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Speaker 1: You can't vote Scott scary Scotty, but it's yeah your name.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, way to kind of dial it down a

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Speaker 1: little bit. You can't, okay, then yeah, yeah, okay, I

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Speaker 1: gotta tell you. I'm a yea. Look, I can be

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Speaker 1: very vague about it, which I will be because I

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Speaker 1: don't think I should divulge the entire thing because I

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Speaker 1: could get fired. And it sounds like someone's headphones sound

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Speaker 1: a little tinny. It's his Mike. I think you're safe, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: because it happened so long ago that there has to

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Speaker 1: be a statute of limitations like jerking off different for

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Speaker 1: what for jerking off in the office. Okay, So now

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Speaker 1: I guess we now know what it is. Oh. I

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Speaker 1: thought we were going to say the act, just not

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Speaker 1: the other details. Okay, so you you please yourself in

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Speaker 1: our radio station offices, and we were this is way

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Speaker 1: way way back when we were in SEACAUXUS, New Jersey

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Speaker 1: side there were shag carpeting. Look in a nutshell. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: that's a bag. It was Christmas Day. I used to

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Speaker 1: work twenty hours straight on Christmas Day because we called

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Speaker 1: you super jew that's right, And you can only watch

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Speaker 1: a Christmas story so many times. And I got bored

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Speaker 1: and I went next door into the newsroom and there

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Speaker 1: was a VCR in there, and there was a tape

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Speaker 1: in it and I hit play. So I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you what it was called. It

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Speaker 1: was yeah, oh yeah, yeah in the newsroom VCR. Yes,

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Speaker 1: well nobody used nobody used the newsroom anymore. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like they did. So I went in there and did

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Speaker 1: my thing for a little bit. That's it. You dick

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Speaker 1: the halls and yes, yeah, you know. I was bored.

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Speaker 1: I had a killed two minutes. Well what is what

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Speaker 1: does the shag carpeting have to do with anything? Well? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean it felt nice. I mean it was crusty,

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Speaker 1: but it was just what It just felt nice to

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Speaker 1: lay on the carpeting, is what he's saying. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: that's the story I told you. It wasn't all that exciting.

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Speaker 1: I mean I have other stories, like why my fingerprints

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Speaker 1: is different on this finger? Well, we know what you

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Speaker 1: rubbed it off? No, I'm I mean, look, you know

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Speaker 1: what when you're when you're a young boy and you're experimenting,

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Speaker 1: you don't know what's going on. What did you burn

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Speaker 1: your finger print off with? I didn't burn it, I

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Speaker 1: cut it on the shower drain. Why, because I was

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Speaker 1: you have to start at the beginning of this why

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Speaker 1: why why is your finger down the shower drink when

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Speaker 1: you're when you're just a young kid. By the way,

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Speaker 1: I know what the answer is. I just you're trying

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Speaker 1: to experiment with difference. Okay, stop now, Nate has this

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Speaker 1: look of disgust on his face. You know, it's kind

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Speaker 1: of funny how you in the beginning of this podcast

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Speaker 1: wanted to say nothing, and now you really just don't

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Speaker 1: want to shut up. You know what, It's a natural thing,

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Speaker 1: and I'm tired of people going you because everyone does it.

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Speaker 1: Whether you literally have never fucked a shower draink not

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Speaker 1: my fingertip, my fingertips, I have never fingered a shower

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Speaker 1: draink whatever. He actually, in reality, clawed to the sower

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Speaker 1: drain and was trying to fix it. I was trying

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Speaker 1: to fix the drain and my finger got caught on

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Speaker 1: the on the open part and it ripped my fingertip off. Okay, alright, alright, yes, Garrett,

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Speaker 1: all these stories he's telling right now always happened to

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Speaker 1: come out at dinner and Scotty just like he did

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Speaker 1: in this room. Says, I'm not talking about it. Then

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Speaker 1: he has his half a bud light and all the

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Speaker 1: stories come out. It's only a half a bud light

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Speaker 1: to get some all that's right. Dinner, every dinner, or

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Speaker 1: at if I had a full bud light, forget about it.

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Speaker 1: What's I love the way Nate's sitting there, like, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe Scotty pleasured himself at the radio station when

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Speaker 1: he pleasured his girlfriend right while you're sitting Elvis, Yeah

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Speaker 1: you did your girlfriend. You did it on the Harshtag carpeting.

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Speaker 1: Did you cut your finger on her drain? Did not?

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Speaker 1: It's slightly different. I I don't know. I mean laying

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Speaker 1: by myself in his room and see Caucus watching a

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Speaker 1: tape of Miami Spice. I just don't think I would.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I would do that. Actually was biker

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Speaker 1: chicks with dicks? Alright, Okay, we wasn't mine. There's another

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Speaker 1: story here. Whose tape was that? We all know, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to say someone. You know who newsroom

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Speaker 1: was Christine Nangier. Yeah he is not walking. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: I just mouthed the words. Okay, I know who it was,

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Speaker 1: all right, So Gandhi here here, this is why we

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Speaker 1: love Gandhi. Gandhi is one of the guys with a

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Speaker 1: flick of a switch. Yeah, I was fully encouraging this today,

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Speaker 1: so we I don't even know how the conversation came up,

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Speaker 1: but Scotty was yelling at other people about places that

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Speaker 1: they've done things, and he's like, I've only ever done

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Speaker 1: it in my bed or the shower, and then one

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Speaker 1: time at a radio station on the shank coverting exactly.

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Speaker 1: I think Scotty should write a book. I really do.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I have one in me. I'm how you

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Speaker 1: got that dream? Like, how did you question? For you, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: how did you learn that you could deep throw to banana?

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Speaker 1: I just tried it. Sometimes I don't know if you don't.

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Speaker 1: If you don't try things, you don't know if you

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Speaker 1: can do them or not. And we'll say this, he

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Speaker 1: taught me how to do it, and he was accurate

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Speaker 1: with his his description of how you do it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's easy, it's no naturally, the technique you were teaching

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Speaker 1: is well known. Yes, okay, I didn't know that. I

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Speaker 1: had never heard that before I met him. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then poor Garrett actually watched us from the door. While

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Speaker 1: Scotty was trying to teach me how to do this

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Speaker 1: with a banana, his face was his face was priceless

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Speaker 1: because somebody was recording it. You just see Garrett standing

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Speaker 1: in the corner, disgusted, not disgusted. You just don't expect

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Speaker 1: that when you walk into a room and you see

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Speaker 1: your co workers doing that to a banana. Gets fair

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Speaker 1: to say when you work with Scotty, you should expect it. Scotty,

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Speaker 1: how do you do it? Just you stick it in

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Speaker 1: the thing you do with your your hand. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: don't do that? Well, how did he teach you how

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Speaker 1: to deprogram? You? Squeeze a fist, please, your fist real

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Speaker 1: hard so that your nails are almost digging into your skin,

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Speaker 1: and then you get distracted and you can do anything else. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Just for the record, your hands should be empty, right.

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Speaker 1: There should be no partner involving right right right right

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Speaker 1: on the wine bottle. It's not flexible, all right? Well,

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Speaker 1: so what else? This is the worst podcast ever. I'll leave.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm leaving to vote now. I have to

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Speaker 1: go clean up my apartment after my my studio fifty

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Speaker 1: four party last night. I was scotting at your party?

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Speaker 1: Is that it you're really leaving? Are we allowed to

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Speaker 1: say what you said was strewn about? It was a joke,

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Speaker 1: I know it wasn't. It made me laugh. So what

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Speaker 1: do you have to clean up? What is so messy

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Speaker 1: in your apartment? Right now that you have to clean up?

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Speaker 1: The apartment is just just a mess because I've got dishes

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Speaker 1: in the sink, but air the air suld be air conditioning, heating.

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Speaker 1: People are coming to day to fix what's been broken

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Speaker 1: from they've seen messes before. No, so I jokingly said,

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Speaker 1: I have to get home and clean up the bills

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Speaker 1: that are all rolled up and strewn across the apartment

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Speaker 1: about like I was darn drug sniffer. I really want that.

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Speaker 1: I hope if that's not the case at your apartment,

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Speaker 1: that you set it up to be that slet over

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Speaker 1: from my left over Indian food from yesterday. The place

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Speaker 1: was a curry. There were thousand dollar bills. They stopped

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Speaker 1: making them in ninety four. Thanks yeah, to put them

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Speaker 1: up his button hole and down a drain. I have

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Speaker 1: wanted me. That's like people that clean up their houses

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Speaker 1: for the cleaning people. I'll never understand that. No, I

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Speaker 1: won't either and one time I needed an ambulance and

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Speaker 1: my wife was putting makeup on for the for the

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Speaker 1: E m T s coming. I don't understand way, that's

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Speaker 1: a whole different story, this story. How hard did you

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Speaker 1: pull it? Why did you need an ambulance? Well, I

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Speaker 1: thought I was having a heart attack. As usual, I

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Speaker 1: was choking on a banana. No, I was on a minute.

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Speaker 1: I tried to baseball shut up. I was on some

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Speaker 1: medication and my doctor didn't tell me that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: supposed to lift things while I was on this medication.

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Speaker 1: And of course at a grocery shopping and lifted all

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Speaker 1: these giant, heavy things, and I must have torn something.

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Speaker 1: And I went upstairs and I passed out. I thought

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Speaker 1: I was having a heart attack. So I called an

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Speaker 1: ambulance and he was like, they're coming. And so she's

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Speaker 1: putting on makeup and doing her hair for the for

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Speaker 1: the hot E m T s that were coming to

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Speaker 1: the house. Over they were but had bad breath and

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Speaker 1: I had to be under the breath. Was we done

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Speaker 1: with stories? No? No, no, no, I hear yeah no.

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Speaker 1: If you guys want to continue, not me, But I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to. We all know we all know this person. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this person was about fifteen years old, and we know

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Speaker 1: we're fifteen years old, and we he was working at

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Speaker 1: a security company overnight weekends and he pretty much was

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Speaker 1: just hanging out there as the overnight guy, just hanging

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Speaker 1: in the office. He got so bored he would regularly,

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Speaker 1: you know, please himself and he would find out he's

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Speaker 1: not just what guys doing. I'm bored. Let me let

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Speaker 1: me just get out somebody in this room during this podcast,

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Speaker 1: and then and then we find we come to find

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Speaker 1: out my friends and I because he told us that

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Speaker 1: one time, what did you used to do? How did

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Speaker 1: you used to clean up and do stuff? Because oh no,

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Speaker 1: I used to just finish inside the sleeve of the

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Speaker 1: coats of the people. So people and it's an office,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people's coat racks and things hanging up.

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Speaker 1: He'd go into the closet, find a coat and finished

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Speaker 1: into the sleeve of the coat. I have a question.

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Speaker 1: Could you imagine you say, he came on a north

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Speaker 1: face Monday morning, the look of horror on this random

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Speaker 1: employees face when they put the coat on to go.

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Speaker 1: I mean, these are people that they leave stuff. You know,

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Speaker 1: everyone leaves stuff around, the end, stuff around. Okay, have

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Speaker 1: a question. So would he primate and then just finish

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Speaker 1: or would you actually have sex with the coat? So

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Speaker 1: he would have sex with the sock. He would have sex.

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Speaker 1: I get it, and he would because he did have

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Speaker 1: one of those get a crusty son. Never understand the

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Speaker 1: sick ever, I always had a sock there too, crusty.

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Speaker 1: That's it's a thing. The sock is the thing. And

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Speaker 1: I don't get the crusty sock because I understand that

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Speaker 1: it's been used, but like at some point it's that

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Speaker 1: they're chafing with the crusty sock. I said, nay. By

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Speaker 1: the way, I've only ever used disposable things like no,

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Speaker 1: like your wife, why do you have to do this

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Speaker 1: in other people's property? You just didn't? Just well, why

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Speaker 1: would you do it in your own sleeve? That's gross?

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Speaker 1: He didn't do it in his own sleep, He didn't

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Speaker 1: he Why would you? Why would you say I would

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Speaker 1: have finished off in this was in a fur coat,

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Speaker 1: because I get that these are coats, just random people's coats.

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Speaker 1: Boys are so weird. You remember when I was so

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Speaker 1: disgusted that I threw the flesh light away in the

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Speaker 1: dumpster behind the shop, right, I can't one. I haven't

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Speaker 1: heard chapter eight. I have one in me. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: time I bought a watermelon and a candle open. We

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Speaker 1: can hold on. I've heard many of Scotty stories. I

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Speaker 1: haven't heard this one. You never heard. I don't come on,

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Speaker 1: come on, No one listens to this right now, Nobody listen.

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Speaker 1: It's just an extension of the conversation we're having the

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Speaker 1: other day about the weird things we did as kids. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I guess. I mean, you all know what

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Speaker 1: a fluster council. I I be careful. I'm with you.

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Speaker 1: You all know what a fleshlight is. Correct, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to go into that. Google it you did, yes,

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Speaker 1: So anyway, anyway, you know, apparently you're able to use

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Speaker 1: it more than once. But I was disgusted by it,

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Speaker 1: so I wasn't going to clean it. You have standards, now, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I was like, this is so I just boxed

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Speaker 1: it back up and I threw it in the dumpster

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Speaker 1: behind the shop, right, supermarket really yeah, so eighty bucks

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Speaker 1: in the dumpster so your own yeah, your own stuff

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Speaker 1: freaks you out? Yes, at least you didn't return it. No, dude,

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Speaker 1: leave the tag on, bring it back, please. I don't

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Speaker 1: even think of not one of your stronger stories. I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't get that out of the arsenal. Well you told

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Speaker 1: me like a woman came along going through the trash

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Speaker 1: and she took it or god, I mean that might

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Speaker 1: have happened that you should have embellished that, Scott. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever used a food product with which to um No,

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Speaker 1: I haven't, can't. Can't believe it's not butter. No. By

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Speaker 1: the way, guys, if you're listening, young men, don't ever

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Speaker 1: try vasoline. I'm just saying why why, Well, you'll find

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Speaker 1: out don't ever try it. Well, they can't because you're

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Speaker 1: saying don't do it right. I used it all the

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Speaker 1: time vasoline when I was a kid. Yeah, you must

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Speaker 1: have such a soft winer. It's very soft. That's a mess.

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Speaker 1: It's really not that you can't get it off. Well,

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Speaker 1: you can, but you can't. Well, that's what the soccer

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Speaker 1: is for. Or the sleeve of the jacket. Don't use

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Speaker 1: icy hot I think that would be Oh, don't use

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Speaker 1: ben Gay straight or not. Don't use it. You don't

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Speaker 1: use Vicks Vapo Robu sleeve of a wizard. We're talking

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Speaker 1: about something else. I had a friend that would try

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Speaker 1: the sauce hardboard tube from paper towel rolls. Again. I

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Speaker 1: think he lined it with something, but he would use

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Speaker 1: the role. That's a really cheap fleshlight. Make your own.

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Speaker 1: That should be on the inside of the paper towel roll.

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Speaker 1: That should give you instruction instructions. Okay, where's the music

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Speaker 1: we've been got about? Light? Do I go? He's like,

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Speaker 1: guys are so weird. I love how you want to

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Speaker 1: finish early. That's that's Scotty's job. I usually do you

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Speaker 1: never tried anything bizarre like that? Oh no, I can't

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Speaker 1: really say. I have to think about it. Please. That'll

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Speaker 1: be tomorrow's podcast. There's places we've all jerked off and

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Speaker 1: yes or no. Fruits and vegetables No, they on sale.

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Speaker 1: The fifteen minute Morning Show