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Speaker 1: I'm kicking you and your miracle baby to the streets.

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Speaker 1: The baby is loud and it's your fault.

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Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? You know? White people be

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Speaker 2: making loud ass babies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why can't you just rip their vocal cords out

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Speaker 1: and have a little mute baby.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I thirty four female, live upstairs in a duplex with

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Speaker 1: my two boxer pity mixes. I lived here for five

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Speaker 1: years with my ex, who recently moved out. Last year,

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Speaker 1: my neighbor's thirty one female and thirties male moved in

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Speaker 1: downstairs after.

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Speaker 2: The unit had been empty for a while. They were good.

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Speaker 1: Neighbors until this year when they out of baby uh oh.

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Speaker 1: Apparently they had to go through IVF and had a

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Speaker 1: bunch of miscarriages, and she posted all about it on Facebook.

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Speaker 1: I thought that was TMI, poh whatever. I'm only her

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Speaker 1: Facebook friend because she added me. She's made a big

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Speaker 1: deal about being pregnant and it's been annoying to see,

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Speaker 1: but I just ignored her anyway. Since she's had the baby,

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Speaker 1: I've had to deal with crying from downstairs. It's not

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Speaker 1: as bad as I expected, but it's pretty damn annoying.

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Speaker 1: I've gone down and knucked on their door multiple times

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Speaker 1: to say.

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Speaker 2: Kick the Africangnis down, make that baby.

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Speaker 1: I saw this product where it was like a baby silencer,

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Speaker 1: and it was like a little mass that you put

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Speaker 1: over the baby to make it stop. Every time they

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Speaker 1: apologize and blame their baby, but nothing has changed. I

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Speaker 1: got fed up and reported them to our landlord for

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Speaker 1: making too much noise.

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Speaker 2: Bro come on.

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Speaker 1: The landlord talked to my neighbors, who are now turning

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Speaker 1: it around on me, saying my dogs are too loud

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Speaker 1: and I play music at night that wakes their baby up.

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Speaker 1: A little rover arsho, my dogs aren't loud and hardly

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Speaker 1: ever bark when I'm home. I got annoyed and went

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Speaker 1: down to talk to my neighbor about it, and she

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Speaker 1: got really nasty with me and blamed me and my

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Speaker 1: dogs for always waking up her baby. She said she

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Speaker 1: can hear every one of mine and my dog's footsteps

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Speaker 1: and the dogs nails on the floor. Specifically that my

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Speaker 1: dogs barked the whole time I'm not home during the day,

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Speaker 1: and then I put my music way too loud at night.

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Speaker 3: I told her, I can't make my dogs not bark

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Speaker 3: when I'm out you can't control another being that doesn't understand.

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Speaker 1: Interesting, and that they're dogs on hard wood, and that

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what she was expecting living in a

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Speaker 1: downstairs unit.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should be as like me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I also told her I'm allowed to have people

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Speaker 1: over and my music on whenever I want in my home.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's fair to ask me to change

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Speaker 1: my life when I'm not the one who had a baby.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a shit If I make your baby cry,

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Speaker 1: just make it stop.

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Speaker 3: I can't change my life. Of course, all you have

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Speaker 3: to do is abandon your child, like it's so simple.

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Speaker 2: Put it in the dumpster. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: My neighbor got an attitude and told me she was

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Speaker 1: only asking for me to be respectful of our shared

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Speaker 1: space and brought up hearing an argument I had with

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Speaker 1: the X a few weeks ago. I love how the

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Speaker 1: walls are so thin that she could like detail the

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Speaker 1: argument that he had with his ex.

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Speaker 2: She's been waiting. Actually was like, hey, I really think you.

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Speaker 1: Should got a couple's counseling, and like she might be right,

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Speaker 1: and I think she also might be cheating on you.

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Speaker 1: I admit it was a little loud but it wasn't

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Speaker 1: that big of a deal. I laughed and told her

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Speaker 1: that pretty much went out the window when she had

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Speaker 1: a baby, But then she shut door in my face.

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Speaker 1: I reported the whole conversation to my landlord, so there's

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Speaker 1: a record of my complaint because I.

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Speaker 2: Want them and that baby out.

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Speaker 1: When I was telling a friend about what was happening,

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Speaker 1: she told me I was being a major the struggling parents.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's their problem and not mine. But

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Speaker 1: I wanted to get some unbiased feedback from that friend

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Speaker 1: because that friend is usually a little emotional for my taste.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I want to know what everyone thinks.

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Speaker 2: Please put in the comments below.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever had a screaming baby next to you

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Speaker 1: in an apartment or on a plane or otherwise? What

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Speaker 1: would you do in this situation? Pipe it down really quickly,

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Speaker 1: but John, let me know what's the verdict.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I will be honest and be like it definitely

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Speaker 3: kind of you know, is unfortunate if it's like you

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Speaker 3: like literally live like in close proximity and then someone

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Speaker 3: has a baby where it's just like, okay, now you're

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Speaker 3: kind of by proxy, you know, might catch some of

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Speaker 3: those you know, the cries and stuff. It's an unfortunate thing,

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Speaker 3: but it really just is what it is. You cannot

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Speaker 3: control a freaking baby. Maybe, I mean, it sounds like

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Speaker 3: there's some music and some dogs like that.

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Speaker 1: Might contribute to the baby crying, So maybe that's something

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Speaker 1: you should work on if.

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Speaker 2: You don't want the baby to be crying literally.

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Speaker 1: And also there's a comment I'm a loverly a one says,

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Speaker 1: so it's okay for you to make no ways that

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Speaker 1: you find acceptable, but require the neighbors to stop noises.

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Speaker 1: You don't come on, you're the alects. I mean that

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Speaker 1: sums it up, But let us know what you think

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Speaker 1: of the comments below. Put it down and we'll ski

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Speaker 1: you in the next episode.

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Speaker 3: I was catfished by a crazy date who believes she's

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Speaker 3: dating a Marvel superhero bro.

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Speaker 1: I are man, more like I have no idea what

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Speaker 1: you're talking about, because you are crazy?

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Speaker 2: Want to date thor more like I thor? You want

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Speaker 2: a date with thor more like? You're a bore?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, you're boring. Get I said it. I'll

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Speaker 3: stand by it.

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Speaker 1: You want to have a shot with hot guy more

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Speaker 1: like more like you have cos fries because I don't

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Speaker 1: want you to ce b anymore.

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Speaker 3: Oh dude, when when you take something and you lose

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Speaker 3: it in the middle, but then bring it back around

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Speaker 3: to make just like insanely ridiculous, that's the best.

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Speaker 2: Like we don't even want like a legit joke.

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Speaker 3: We want like it goes weird in the middle and

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Speaker 3: then it just has this like grand finale of just

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Speaker 3: like I don't know what just happened, but I'm here

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Speaker 3: for it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm here for the ride, all right, dog, give

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Speaker 1: me one more, one more, Avenger, one more.

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Speaker 2: Let's see.

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Speaker 3: Uh uh black widow more like, uh, you're about to

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Speaker 3: be widowed for life because no one will ever marry

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Speaker 3: you and you'll die in a grave alone. Oh my god, yeah,

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Speaker 3: fuck your family Jesus.

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Speaker 2: All right, there we go.

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Speaker 3: Now we're ready to start. Yes, all right, we got

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Speaker 3: a long one, So buckle up, boys and girls. This

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Speaker 3: girl and I met on Instagram. In the pictures she

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Speaker 3: had sent, she looked very much my kind ooh magna,

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Speaker 3: and I enjoy the conversation with her, and so I

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Speaker 3: thought I would ask her out. Good idea, it makes sense,

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Speaker 3: checks out. We decided to go to the movies. Now

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Speaker 3: this is where all my problems begin. Oh no, I'm

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Speaker 3: on the phone with her trying to figure out where

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Speaker 3: she is when she says, oh, look behind you, I

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Speaker 3: can see you. I turn around, and God behold, I

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Speaker 3: see someone completely different from the pictures she had sent.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, Like, how different are we talking? John?

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Speaker 3: In the photos she looked about five six, very pretty

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Speaker 3: face and a nice bow day.

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Speaker 2: But donka donc the Badonka donk was Badonka donkin. The

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Speaker 2: Badonka donk was honkin. What I saw before my eyes

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Speaker 2: was a.

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Speaker 3: Four foot four, extremely overweight girl that looked completely different

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Speaker 3: from what I had seen four foot four.

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Speaker 2: I think you're probably over exaggerating.

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Speaker 1: A little four foot four that's very small.

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Speaker 2: That's probably like that's like legally defined a little person.

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Speaker 3: Ers are close to it. I don't know the exact law,

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Speaker 3: but I have to imagine it's.

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Speaker 1: Four under four eleven. I think I know this because

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Speaker 1: my's girlfriend is was four eleven, is four eleven.

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Speaker 3: She's still four eleven, and so's she's it's four eleven

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Speaker 3: or above, right? Are you saying that four eleven or

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Speaker 3: below is like the legal classification?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like under four eleven Dwarfism.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, sorry, sorry to find as an adult

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Speaker 1: height of four foot ten inches.

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Speaker 2: Ah, there we go, There we go.

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Speaker 1: The average adult height among people at Dwarfism is four feet.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 3: So we'll see if OPI is exaggerating. I feel like

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Speaker 3: he might be, but we shall see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too.

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Speaker 3: Now, at first I was a bit weirded out, but

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Speaker 3: I thought, oh, well, it's not all about looks and

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Speaker 3: continue to date without calling it out, as I enjoyed

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Speaker 3: our conversations prior.

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Speaker 2: Nice Op, There we go, the class act seems good,

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Speaker 2: but in parentheses he says a huge mistake in hindsight.

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Speaker 2: Oh my.

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Speaker 3: We go off to book our tickets, find our seats,

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Speaker 3: and settle it. So now the move movie is about

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Speaker 3: to start and she hasn't said a word. So I

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Speaker 3: start some sort of conversation with her. But every time

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Speaker 3: I try to say anything, I instantly get shot down

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Speaker 3: because she's busy chatting with her friends.

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Speaker 1: Bro, what's the point of going on a date if

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Speaker 1: you're just gonna chat with your friends? And also, first

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Speaker 1: date at the movies is a tough one to make

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Speaker 1: conversation at.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you gotta go for like ice cream or

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Speaker 3: coffee or food or something like have be able to speak.

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Speaker 2: One of my friend's James.

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Speaker 1: His go to first date is always ice cream, and

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Speaker 1: then it's either go to first date is ice cream

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Speaker 1: and the second date is usually a hike. And I

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Speaker 1: think those are perfect ones.

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Speaker 3: That's a good that's a good one, too, combo right there,

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Speaker 3: unless you me. Actually, I was about to say, what

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Speaker 3: if someone's like anti cold foods, that's like a dietary restriction.

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Speaker 3: But it's like, if someone doesn't want to eat cold foods,

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Speaker 3: then maybe that's not Ain't it so fine? I thought,

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Speaker 3: let's wait until the movie starts. The movie begins, and

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Speaker 3: I try to move a little bit closer to her,

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Speaker 3: but she keeps.

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Speaker 2: On shuffling away, so I just let it go.

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Speaker 3: She then turns around and says something about the movie,

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Speaker 3: which I can't quite remember, but a remark has to

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Speaker 3: be made.

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Speaker 2: This girl has.

209
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Speaker 3: Never brushed her teeth, I mean never, good God, her

210
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Speaker 3: breath absolutely stank and I couldn't even look in her

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Speaker 3: general direction while she was speaking.

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Speaker 2: Rand said, that's rough, bro, that is terrible.

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Speaker 3: But this wasn't even the problem. That's not even where

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Speaker 3: the real problems begin, Sam.

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Speaker 1: I love how like Opie is, Like, she looked nothing

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Speaker 1: like the pictures, But that's not a problem. She won't

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Speaker 1: talk to me at the gate of the movie, that's

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Speaker 1: not a problem. Her breath smells like a hundred sailors

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Speaker 1: died in the barrels of a whale, But that's not

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Speaker 1: a problem.

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Speaker 3: I cannot wait to see what the real problem is.

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Speaker 3: A bit into this movie, this girl says she wants

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Speaker 3: to tell me something.

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Speaker 2: Now. What she told me next absolutely shocked me.

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Speaker 1: Bro. What is she telling you that's shocking you more

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Speaker 1: that terrible breath and the fact that she's four foot

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Speaker 1: four and obese, Like, what.

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Speaker 2: Could it mean?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 2: She says that she's been doing something called shifting?

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Speaker 1: What does what does that mean?

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Speaker 3: This? Shifting is where she transfers her consciousness into another

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Speaker 3: reality and lives her life with other people.

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Speaker 1: Bro, this sounds like everything everywhere all at once. Have

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Speaker 1: you seen that movie yet?

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Speaker 2: I just saw it this weekend. What do you think

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Speaker 2: was super awesome?

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Speaker 1: So good? So good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, really really really good, really really.

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Speaker 1: Dude, And I was like just invested, Like when I

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Speaker 1: started it, I was just invested in, like the familial

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Speaker 1: story like it could have. I almost felt like it

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Speaker 1: could have not had all of the sci fi stuff

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Speaker 1: and just with like the regular familial dynamics. I was hooked.

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Speaker 1: But then it had all the sci fi stuff, and

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Speaker 1: then I was doubly hooked.

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Speaker 2: I was a hater at first.

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Speaker 3: I was literally just like man, this is this is boring?

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Speaker 3: And then it finally picked and I'm like okay. And

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Speaker 3: then once it got to the part where it's like

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Speaker 3: the emotional like you know, just facts about life hitting

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Speaker 3: you in your fucking soul.

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Speaker 2: That's why I was like, Okay, this is this is

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Speaker 2: this is awesome.

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Speaker 1: I also watched it a little high, and it was

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Speaker 1: made it better.

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Speaker 3: I also want see when I get high, I become

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Speaker 3: a hater. So really everything irritates me and not a hater,

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Speaker 3: but like like, for instance, I will shift a thousand times.

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Speaker 2: I cannot sit comfortably. I have to. Like John's a shifter,

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Speaker 2: so like I'm a shifter.

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Speaker 3: She's dating a Marvel character that she's deeply in love

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Speaker 3: with that she's been with since she was ten.

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Speaker 2: What.

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Speaker 3: I am so glad that she has shared her her

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Speaker 3: special This is this is so perfect. This is a

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Speaker 3: great date conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no red flags here, none, zero, all green flags abound.

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Speaker 2: Now at this point, the blood is literally rushing to

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Speaker 2: my head. I have so many questions. This is funny.

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Speaker 3: Why did she agree to go on a date if

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Speaker 3: she's already dating someone in her different reality?

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Speaker 1: I love how he's already operating within her weird world.

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Speaker 1: He's like like, oh, she's already dating someone in this

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Speaker 1: other universe?

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Speaker 2: Like why is she here? Is she cheating on this

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Speaker 2: Marvel character? Why did she never bring this up?

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Speaker 3: And the biggest thought of all is this girl freaking insane?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Yes she is.

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Speaker 3: I'm very off put now, and I just lean the

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Speaker 3: other direction and try to watch the movie without seeming

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Speaker 3: too upset. Keep in mind, I just got rejected by

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Speaker 3: this catfish because she's dating a Marvel character in a

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Speaker 3: different reality. So I just want to finish this stupid

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Speaker 3: date and leave.

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Speaker 1: Makes sense, poor guy, that's a rough one. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't you hate it when that happens. But you're going

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Speaker 1: a date with a girl and she's already dating a

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Speaker 1: Marvel character in her mind.

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Speaker 3: And she's a foot shorter than she said, and she's

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Speaker 3: never brushed her teeth in her life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, that's just the worst.

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Speaker 3: When the movie is finally over, I try to explain

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Speaker 3: that I'm gonna leave, uh, but she says she's really

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Speaker 3: hungry and wants to go for a bite. We go

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Speaker 3: to a wings place and she orders literally five plates

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Speaker 3: of wings. At this point, I just want to leave,

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Speaker 3: so I don't order anything five plates.

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Speaker 1: How could a four foot four person even consume five

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Speaker 1: plates of wings?

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Speaker 2: That's like her whole body weight? Bro oh yeah, yeah, yeah, easily.

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Speaker 3: While we were waiting for her food, I asked her

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Speaker 3: about the whole shifting thing. What she said next made

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Speaker 3: me even more furious. If you can believe it. She

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Speaker 3: says that she's been into shifting for two years and

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Speaker 3: that she's deeply in love with this Marvel character. So

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Speaker 3: I think that maybe she's actually able to somehow do this,

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Speaker 3: and if so, I ask her how she manages to

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Speaker 3: do it.

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Speaker 1: I love how OPI is just so accepting. It's just

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Speaker 1: like like, oh, yeah, that's so interesting. Tell me more

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Speaker 1: about that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, all right, let's let's assume that's the case.

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Speaker 3: So like, how does it work? You know, what's what's

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Speaker 3: the what's the logistics?

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Speaker 2: Good guy? This is so funny. He gets mad at

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Speaker 2: this part. This is amazing.

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Speaker 3: This girl tells me that in the last two years,

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Speaker 3: she's only managed to do it once, yes, once, in

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Speaker 3: all caps him off. She's only shifted once in her

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Speaker 3: make believe world in two years.

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Speaker 1: Who cares, bro, She's like crazy, no logic holds here,

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Speaker 1: but also like so clingy. Bro, you meet this Marvel

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Speaker 1: character one time in a dream, and now you guys

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Speaker 1: are dating for the next ten years.

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Speaker 2: God, she had a one hour dream about a Marvel

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Speaker 2: character and now apparently she is dating him and loves

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Speaker 2: him and that's why she doesn't want me to get

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Speaker 2: near her. Oh my god. Wow, this might be the

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Speaker 2: worst date of all time. This is impressed, terrible.

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Speaker 3: This girl must be absolutely insane. But what happened next?

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Speaker 3: That was the final straw.

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Speaker 2: Bro, You've had so many final straws.

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Speaker 1: Dude, you are out of straw, my guy, there are

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Speaker 1: no more straws at this point.

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Speaker 2: You aren't negative three or four straws.

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Speaker 3: I didn't mention yet, but throughout this entire date she

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Speaker 3: had a very bad cough and I kept thinking, Wow,

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Speaker 3: she must be like asthmatic or something, so I asked

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Speaker 3: her about it.

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Speaker 2: She replies, Oh no, I just have COVID. What dude,

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Speaker 2: this is the young girl ever? Oh my god, Opie

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Speaker 2: says all caps. What you're just telling me about this?

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Speaker 3: No, Unfortunately it was too late for me to leave.

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Speaker 3: I try to leave. No, no, no, no, no, that's the perfect.

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Speaker 2: Time for you to leave.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 1: You should have left like four red flags ago.

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Speaker 2: Literally.

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Speaker 3: I try to lean back and stay away from her

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Speaker 3: and try not to catch COVID.

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Speaker 1: Why are you still there? Bro? Leave?

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Speaker 2: Dude? This is not good.

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Speaker 3: And the moment she has done eating, I thank her

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Speaker 3: for the date, pay for the food, and jolt out

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Speaker 3: of there.

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Speaker 2: Bro. She ordered five flipt he pays for it. What

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Speaker 2: is going on? I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Opie is the nicest guy in the world and he

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Speaker 1: has no self respect. Bro. No, oh my god, pays

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Speaker 1: for five plates of wings for this, this freaking crazy ass?

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Speaker 1: Like sleepy, what are the what are the seven Dwarves?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sleepy, drowsy, crank, grumpy, grumpy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she's grumpy at this point.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's it. Wow, I this I've went through emotional

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Speaker 2: roller coaster. That is terrible.

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Speaker 1: I am so yeah, I am so pissed on Opie's

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Speaker 1: behalf like Bro, get out of there.

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Speaker 2: Bro. She's crazy. She's not good for you.

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Speaker 3: If you're listening to this, ope, not good for you.

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Speaker 3: If you're listening to this, reach out to us. We'll

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Speaker 3: put you in the okop Patreon discord, and we'll find

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Speaker 3: your love.

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Speaker 2: Yes,