Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Schick and I'm
Speaker 1: joined by my co host and wife, Ashley shik.
Speaker 2: Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a
Speaker 2: gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,
Speaker 2: first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental
Speaker 2: and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. At
Speaker 2: One Tribe Foundation.
Speaker 1: We believe everyone has a story to tell, not only
Speaker 1: about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through
Speaker 1: to get them to where they are today.
Speaker 2: Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,
Speaker 2: to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape
Speaker 2: who they are and what they're doing to pay it
Speaker 2: forward and give back.
Speaker 1: Our mission went to show is to dig deep into
Speaker 1: our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope
Speaker 1: and inspiration their story has to offer.
Speaker 3: We're thrilled you're joining us.
Speaker 1: Again, Welcome to the Good Stuff.
Speaker 2: We want to introduce ourselves and our show to the audience,
Speaker 2: and it's important to us that listeners know who we
Speaker 2: are and why we're making this podcast.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Our show invites guests to tell us their stories,
Speaker 1: which is always a vulnerable undertaking, so we thought it
Speaker 1: was only necessary and right that we do the same,
Speaker 1: which is both scary and freeing and frightening exhilarating because
Speaker 1: we know firsthand the therapeutic nature of telling your story
Speaker 1: and more importantly, listening to other stories without further ado.
Speaker 1: Here's us today's guests as a severely wounded marine returning
Speaker 1: from combat with multiple wounds, amputation on my right leg,
Speaker 1: dramatic brain injury, being a government issued drug addict, what
Speaker 1: name boy's fault is the way it works out, and
Speaker 1: doing eighteen months in the hospital, trying to figure out
Speaker 1: my new norms, trying to learn to love myself again.
Speaker 1: Well new to me I discovered through being voluntold by
Speaker 1: my grandma. Telling my story was going to be my
Speaker 1: first step in my journey of healing. That was something
Speaker 1: that played a big role and saving my life, which
Speaker 1: is empowering at the same time because it took me
Speaker 1: walking through my fear and embracing my vulnerability to start
Speaker 1: that journey, because we all suffer with that fear of
Speaker 1: ridicule and judgment and all those things that they're the
Speaker 1: constant extremely loud bullhorns and megaphones in our head telling
Speaker 1: us you can't do this because of XYZ and being
Speaker 1: able to embrace my inner warrior, not the marine one,
Speaker 1: the one that everybody's born with. Is I think what
Speaker 1: gave me the courage to say, you know what, I
Speaker 1: need to do this one. I can't tell my grandmother
Speaker 1: I'm not doing something that's not a thing. And I've
Speaker 1: got to be able to walk through this valley regardless
Speaker 1: of feeling like I was naked and people were shooting
Speaker 1: at me. I had to walk through the.
Speaker 3: Valley and ultimately it made you stronger.
Speaker 1: Still does.
Speaker 2: We believe in this show because we know firsthand, not
Speaker 2: only through the work that we do, but through both
Speaker 2: of our own journeys, the healing power of accessing your
Speaker 2: truth and telling your own story.
Speaker 3: And we know how difficult it can be.
Speaker 1: That's the point. Anything we're doing, it is supposed to
Speaker 1: be hard. It's by design.
Speaker 3: You're exposing your emotions.
Speaker 2: You feel like you're walking naked in front of the world,
Speaker 2: But there's power in that and being able to speak
Speaker 2: your truth freely.
Speaker 3: It's very empowering.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's the thing is that in everybody's story
Speaker 1: there's still the victories, right there's still the triumph the winds,
Speaker 1: because that's a daily basis thing, right, right, We wake
Speaker 1: up and we decide as soon as our feet hit
Speaker 1: the ground, our foot in my case, you're a victim
Speaker 1: or a victor.
Speaker 3: You have two feet. The government just owns one, that's right.
Speaker 1: One of them is a loner. And that's okay. People
Speaker 1: ask me how I feel about it. It's just a
Speaker 1: tool for me to do the things I need to do.
Speaker 1: That's all it is.
Speaker 3: It's just like being vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and that's why I do what I
Speaker 1: do still. Yeah, all over the world, I go in
Speaker 1: front of complete strangers and I unzip my chest cavity,
Speaker 1: and I spill my soul all over them with truth
Speaker 1: and conviction and not really giving it damn who likes
Speaker 1: me or not in the process, because it's my.
Speaker 3: Truth and it does inspire people.
Speaker 2: I've seen it firsthand because along with all of the
Speaker 2: heartache and along with all of the loss comes the
Speaker 2: triumphs and the victories and the celebrations.
Speaker 3: And that's what this podcast aims to do.
Speaker 1: All it is is just like you'll hear from so
Speaker 1: many of our guests, and we've talked about so much.
Speaker 1: It's mindset perspective. You know, you were your biggest advocate
Speaker 1: or your own worst enemy. You. Every day you wake up,
Speaker 1: you versus you, not you, versus your spouse not you,
Speaker 1: versus your boss not you, versus your kids to you
Speaker 1: versus you. The side victory as soon as your feet
Speaker 1: hit the ground or foot and borrowed foot, whatever the
Speaker 1: case is.
Speaker 2: And while I never enlisted in the military or the
Speaker 2: Armed Forces, I grew up in a household where it
Speaker 2: was extremely important to our family to have love of
Speaker 2: country and respect the military and the sacrifices that they make.
Speaker 2: We're a gold Star family, which means we lost a
Speaker 2: family member while they were serving in our Armed forces.
Speaker 2: My grandfather, Lieutenant Larry Dwayne Voss, was actually killed when
Speaker 2: he was twenty four years old serving for the United
Speaker 2: States Air Force. He was killed in a T thirty
Speaker 2: three plane crash in Fairbanks, Alaska, and he left behind
Speaker 2: his widow and his young two year old daughter at
Speaker 2: the time, that daughter being my mother. Even through this
Speaker 2: very tragic situation, you know, my mom still was a
Speaker 2: forever patriot.
Speaker 1: Still blows my mom to this day what she instilled
Speaker 1: in you and your sister considering what happened right like,
Speaker 1: it's just so very admirable.
Speaker 2: And that was the household that we grew up in.
Speaker 2: And I found myself later in life after college working
Speaker 2: in media in Austin and got the opportunity to do
Speaker 2: a radio show to tell people's stories, and that was
Speaker 2: really important to me to be able to share the
Speaker 2: stories to the ninety nine percent of what the one
Speaker 2: percent went through. We highlighted military members from the Austin,
Speaker 2: Texas area. And while this work was rewarding, I was
Speaker 2: always telling other people's stories. I was never vulnerable myself.
Speaker 2: I never came out and told my truth and my story.
Speaker 2: I found myself years later in an airport in Austin, Texas,
Speaker 2: sitting across from a friend and being vulnerable, not by choice,
Speaker 2: but that conversation is one that really changed my life
Speaker 2: because that conversation and that friend was you.
Speaker 1: I'm here to help, always have been, and I get that.
Speaker 1: I understand the difficulty in being vulnerable and telling your
Speaker 1: truth that's unadulterated, unmitigated, there's no boundaries. I know the
Speaker 1: difficulty in doing that and asking people to do that,
Speaker 1: but people will find that if they try it not
Speaker 1: worried about who's going to show up to their funeral.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't care. You'll be dead anyway. Like you're not
Speaker 1: trying to get more people there, You're not trying to
Speaker 1: be cooler. If people try to walk through that valley
Speaker 1: of their own truth, they will see it is And
Speaker 1: I'm speaking from life experience here. This isn't from a
Speaker 1: book I read. It is the first step to you
Speaker 1: not being a prisoner in your own mind anymore.
Speaker 2: And everybody's got a story, and those stories can often
Speaker 2: provide the inspiration that we need or the perspective we
Speaker 2: need to check ourselves to be inspired to go achieve
Speaker 2: everything that we can achieve as human beings. Someone else's story,
Speaker 2: someone else's trauma or tragedy can help. That's why we
Speaker 2: want to make this show. We want to inspire people,
Speaker 2: and we want people to know that they can live
Speaker 2: their life to the fullest extent.
Speaker 1: All while I embracing their humanality. I have generation after
Speaker 1: generation after generation of people that served in the military,
Speaker 1: and I was raised in a house that didn't really
Speaker 1: talk about it much. But luckily I spent pretty much
Speaker 1: all my free time with my grandmother, who was if
Speaker 1: I could idolize somebody. It was her Memi, Memi, like
Speaker 1: Gunna used to always say about certain marines. She was
Speaker 1: harder than would pick her lips. But I loved her
Speaker 1: and she loved me, and it was boundaryless love. She
Speaker 1: was my ultimate example of service and sacrifice on what
Speaker 1: that looks like, and being a servant leader and giving
Speaker 1: of yourself to help others. And I was with her
Speaker 1: every step of the way, and I learned so much
Speaker 1: from her about being kind, staying humble, and working hard.
Speaker 1: That was me me. If she loved you, you knew it.
Speaker 1: If she didn't, you knew it. That was as used
Speaker 1: to always say, what I suffer from, what comes up
Speaker 1: comes out syndrome. She had no filter, and I loved
Speaker 1: that about her. I got to see at a very
Speaker 1: early age why things got done, how things should get done.
Speaker 1: There shouldn't be sugarcoating or fluff. There shouldn't be emotions involved.
Speaker 1: You have an objective. To accomplish that objective, you have
Speaker 1: to straight line it. That's what Mimi was and I
Speaker 1: got to see that on the regular. And I remember
Speaker 1: Mimi being so convicted and me knowing and understanding how
Speaker 1: much she loved and was devoted to my grandfather, who
Speaker 1: unfortunately died a couple of years before I was born
Speaker 1: and was the first generation marine in our family. And
Speaker 1: how she would talk about him and her eyes would
Speaker 1: light up, literally, her eyes would light up, and her
Speaker 1: chest would swell with pride, and she would always tell
Speaker 1: me she reminded me up until the day she died.
Speaker 1: So maybe ever since your papa died, I never so
Speaker 1: much to dance with another man.
Speaker 3: That was her soulmate.
Speaker 1: That was where I learned loyalty, That was where I
Speaker 1: learned faithfulness and dedication, all those things. It almost all
Speaker 1: of dare I say, everyone takes for granted today, and
Speaker 1: I'm grateful. There was a guy in her neighborhood everybody
Speaker 1: called Red. I'm pretty sure what was his name, but
Speaker 1: everybody called him Red. And she said, come on, baby,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go down to Red's house. And I just said, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1: We went to Red's house. I think I was five
Speaker 1: when this happened. I'm pretty sure I was five years old.
Speaker 1: It's one of my only memories at that age. Whether
Speaker 1: that's from Trump, from childhood and trying to block things
Speaker 1: out or what have you, but I remember going to
Speaker 1: Red's house with me and me she sat me on
Speaker 1: his lap and Red pulled out the scrap book. Well,
Speaker 1: and it turns out Red was a combat photographer in
Speaker 1: World War Two. And he started flipping through the scrap
Speaker 1: book and I was looking at all these pictures from
Speaker 1: all over the world, and then he got to this
Speaker 1: one spot and he went to turn the page, but
Speaker 1: he stopped and he placed his hand on the page
Speaker 1: so I couldn't turn it. And he looked at her,
Speaker 1: and she looked at him, dead in his eyeballs like
Speaker 1: it was high noon, and said show him. And he
Speaker 1: turned the page and it was pictures of a liberated
Speaker 1: concentration camp and just the piles of emaciated bodies and
Speaker 1: the destruction and showing how evil humans can be. And
Speaker 1: I remember that like it pierced my soul. It was
Speaker 1: something that spoke to me, almost at a spiritual level,
Speaker 1: like Okay, you've got to do something. You have to
Speaker 1: do something to be a part of something bigger than
Speaker 1: you'll ever be, to help stop something like this happening
Speaker 1: ever again. And then just a few years later, the
Speaker 1: age of eight, is when I made the absolute determination,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm going to be a marine, come hell
Speaker 1: or high water.
Speaker 3: Eight years old, I felt.
Speaker 1: It in my bones that this is what I was
Speaker 1: supposed to do. I was put on this earth do
Speaker 1: this thing. And I felt it and it never left me,
Speaker 1: you know. And I played sports growing up and excelled
Speaker 1: as a football player here in Texas, and but I
Speaker 1: which yeah, which is here. It's a religion. But I
Speaker 1: knew this is what I want to do, and I
Speaker 1: was so convicted in it, but I just never talked
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, and then the beginning of my senior year,
Speaker 1: I signed up and just didn't tell anybody. I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful I did that. I have zero regrets about any
Speaker 1: of my service to this day.
Speaker 3: Can you signed up in two thousand and one?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was actually two thousand. It was actually beginning
Speaker 1: of my senior year was two thousand because I graduated
Speaker 1: no one, so clearly it was like August two thousand
Speaker 1: and I went in took the asvab My recruiter, awesome recruiter.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of guys don't can't say that
Speaker 1: guys and girls have been screwed by the recruiter. I'm
Speaker 1: not one of them. I had a really locked on
Speaker 1: recruiter who actually tried to taught me how to going
Speaker 1: if tree. He was like, Jake me, you know you
Speaker 1: don't have to do that. You're never really crappy living
Speaker 1: conditions and it's going to suck. And I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: the point. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to experience
Speaker 1: the conditions of Eugima, which your grandfather did, right Like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's not going to be that bad.
Speaker 1: And quite frankly, like I kind of need to have
Speaker 1: my ass kicked because I'm just kind of spinning out
Speaker 1: of control right now. I'm young, and I'm stupid, and
Speaker 1: I know that I don't have enough self discipline to
Speaker 1: go be in a college setting and be productive and
Speaker 1: all those things. And besides that, I've wanted this since
Speaker 1: I was a little kid. You're not talking me out anything.
Speaker 1: And so I did, and then of course not loving happened,
Speaker 1: and that was a huge, huge awakening for me. When
Speaker 1: I watched that second plane at the South Tower, I knew,
Speaker 1: you know. I looked at Danny and I said, we're
Speaker 1: going to war. Yeah, and we did. I was nineteen
Speaker 1: at the time, and it was like, Okay, tough guy
Speaker 1: about to see how talk you really are.
Speaker 2: And I remember I was in college in sam Marcus
Speaker 2: on nine to eleven and I was in an eight
Speaker 2: am psychology class and some kid came running into the
Speaker 2: room and I immediately left the class and ran down
Speaker 2: to the quad to watch this tiny little TV and
Speaker 2: saw the second plane hit the South Tower and I
Speaker 2: just remember, you know, the day the world stopped turning, like,
Speaker 2: how helpless and how vulnerable and how scared we all
Speaker 2: were back then. And I had two friends deploy immediately,
Speaker 2: one Marine and one Army. And I remember I was
Speaker 2: just this broke college kid in sam Marcus, Texas. But
Speaker 2: I wanted to help, right, I wanted to do something.
Speaker 2: And I knew I wasn't going to go put on
Speaker 2: a uniform and serve because I was on a different path.
Speaker 2: But I wanted to contribute, so I just I started
Speaker 2: writing letters like for me, and it was probably you know,
Speaker 2: more for me, but I just thought, well, this is
Speaker 2: a way I can contribute, right, what's the cost of
Speaker 2: a stamp?
Speaker 1: And that mindset that was why we won World War
Speaker 1: One and World War Two because it was a collective effort, right,
Speaker 1: everybody came together, raised color, creed, religion, was all irrelevant.
Speaker 1: Everybody came together and supported the war effort, and so
Speaker 1: you doing that it had more of an impact than
Speaker 1: you realized. Not only was it therapeutic for you, but
Speaker 1: it was therapeutic for the people receiving the letters.
Speaker 2: I would probably be so embarrassed if I read any
Speaker 2: of the letters today, because I'm sure that it was mundane.
Speaker 2: It was just, you know, this is what happened today
Speaker 2: back here in college.
Speaker 1: But speaking for someone who's been on the receiving end,
Speaker 1: didn't matter. You didn't want to hear about I saw
Speaker 1: on the news blah blah blah. Right, you wanted to
Speaker 1: hear about the mundane seemingly doesn't matter to ubs that
Speaker 1: the everyday people were doing because for a moment, it
Speaker 1: took you out of the place you.
Speaker 3: Were, and that was the goal.
Speaker 2: That's honestly where the tiny little spark that was already
Speaker 2: inside of me to serve really grew. That was the
Speaker 2: fanning of the flame that hey, this is something I
Speaker 2: want to do. And I started getting more involved, and
Speaker 2: that's really where it began for me.
Speaker 1: You know, for me, the more time we spent in
Speaker 1: the workup and then eventually deploying and going to Iraq,
Speaker 1: and the more we went through, the more hardships. And
Speaker 1: we were already a tight knit unit even when we
Speaker 1: got to twenty nine Palms. Every day we got tighter
Speaker 1: and tighter and tighter. I mean, we were a straight
Speaker 1: up family, no doubt about it, no questions asked, none
Speaker 1: of us shared DNA, and we had an unbreakable bond.
Speaker 1: You know. It was something that is extremely hard to
Speaker 1: replicate on the civilian sector. It is so very difficult,
Speaker 1: and I think that's because essentially we flow around in
Speaker 1: our little bubbles, that's our own reality. Comfortable, yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 1: And we were able to have human to human connection
Speaker 1: in a way that we otherwise didn't because of very
Speaker 1: high highs and super low lows. Yeah, and we had
Speaker 1: to find some type of commonality to get us back
Speaker 1: to what was somewhat our middle baseline in order to
Speaker 1: be effective for the next and then the next and
Speaker 1: then the next. And it was a constant You're going, going, going, going, going, going, going,
Speaker 1: and you don't have time really to sit back and
Speaker 1: go hmm, oh no, what my parents have for dinner.
Speaker 1: That type of stuff doesn't like, it didn't even cross
Speaker 1: your mind. You're just like, Okay, what's the next thing.
Speaker 1: You just keep moving, moving, moving, just a.
Speaker 3: Huge adrenaline dump, exactly.
Speaker 1: It's hard to describe. And it's one of those things
Speaker 1: that's like unless you've been there and done it, Like
Speaker 1: it's really hard to explain. Right, I remember the day
Speaker 1: that I got hit, because I always say I got
Speaker 1: blown blown thirty feet the top of the Humbee when
Speaker 1: are our lead vehicle hit the ied. I landed on
Speaker 1: my head because I'm a marine and we believe in
Speaker 1: good form because we're the best. But I never lost
Speaker 1: consciousness and I never wanted a shock. And it took
Speaker 1: the black Hawk forty two minutes come and get me,
Speaker 1: and it was a really long day at the office.
Speaker 1: I get ruined my whole day. But I remember, to
Speaker 1: this day, I can see it, just like when I
Speaker 1: was on Red's lap, Like I still see it in
Speaker 1: my mind's eye, like it literally happened yesterday when the
Speaker 1: pilot took off and he dipped the bird and I
Speaker 1: could see my guys, my family out of the corner
Speaker 1: of my eye looking up. And that to this day
Speaker 1: is the hardest part of all of it. By leaving
Speaker 1: my fellow warriors behind, it felt like it was worse
Speaker 1: than death. And to this day I can say that
Speaker 1: is a fact, which I think is why I dealt
Speaker 1: with some anger. And I was such a awesome patient.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was robbed of the one thing
Speaker 1: I wanted since I was a little boy. And I
Speaker 1: didn't get the quote God given right unquote to die
Speaker 1: as a gladiator on a field of battle. And even
Speaker 1: though I told God, just don't take me in front
Speaker 1: of my brothers, I'll ask, it's so contradictory. But there's
Speaker 1: a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 2: You just had that absolutely unbreakable bond that so you're right,
Speaker 2: so many people don't experience that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's sad to me because the global pandemic
Speaker 1: has proven we're herd animals. We need interaction with each other, right,
Speaker 1: and when you do it at an extreme level, you
Speaker 1: get a taste of that, and then that becomes the
Speaker 1: definition of what you need and who you are and
Speaker 1: all those things and your why.
Speaker 3: And I started to experience that.
Speaker 2: At the time, I had just gotten out of college
Speaker 2: and I was working a media in Austin, and that
Speaker 2: led to me working for one of my clients who
Speaker 2: was a national homebuilder, which led to me going to
Speaker 2: Fort Hood, Texas and working with a Congressional Medal of
Speaker 2: Honor recipient at Fort Hood, Texas helping military families. And
Speaker 2: that's when my eyes were really opened to what military spouses,
Speaker 2: military families, military individuals themselves, and veterans, wounded veterans were
Speaker 2: coming back and really what they were dealing with and
Speaker 2: what they were lacking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got a front row seat to the other
Speaker 1: side of the ball that most people don't think.
Speaker 2: About, absolutely being there at Fort Hood and working firsthand,
Speaker 2: not only employing military spouses with the organization that I
Speaker 2: was running, but just all of the ones that would
Speaker 2: come into the office and sharing with us.
Speaker 3: Some of these kids.
Speaker 2: Were fresh out of their hometown. They'd never left their hometown.
Speaker 2: Then they got married to their high school sweetheart. Now
Speaker 2: the high school sweetheart's deployed and they don't know basic
Speaker 2: stuff like banking or how to find housing.
Speaker 3: Then there were the extremes.
Speaker 2: Stories where the guy was over in Afghanistan with two
Speaker 2: young children back home and the wife took off and
Speaker 2: took everything and left the kids at home, and he
Speaker 2: had to come home from Afghanistan because his kids were
Speaker 2: at home unattended you know, it's it's again, it's what
Speaker 2: do we do well? We can adopt them for Christmas?
Speaker 2: And having the little girl go to church and say,
Speaker 2: you know, I heard Santa's not coming to our house
Speaker 2: this year. Stuff like that that it was like, okay,
Speaker 2: if not me, who if not? Now went That's when
Speaker 2: the heart for service grew because there was the need
Speaker 2: and it wasn't just the basic stuff at forehood. It
Speaker 2: wasn't just the extreme circumstances. It was even our veterans
Speaker 2: coming home and finding out that some of them weren't
Speaker 2: getting paid what they were doing, so they were struggling
Speaker 2: to make ends meet while they were in the hospital
Speaker 2: recovering from a double imputation. It was all kinds of stories,
Speaker 2: and we've got to do better as a country to
Speaker 2: this day. Even though we've been at this for years
Speaker 2: and we've already done the draw down overseas in both
Speaker 2: of the major locations we were in, we still have
Speaker 2: to do better. I knew from my own personal experience.
Speaker 2: Gold Star families don't get treated as well as they should.
Speaker 2: Their loved one gave their ultimate, gave it all in
Speaker 2: service to this country. We've got to step up and
Speaker 2: do better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm not going to disagree.
Speaker 3: You better not.
Speaker 1: And it's important for me to state though that I
Speaker 1: come from a place that is obviously a much different
Speaker 1: perspective than yours for obvious reasons. But I don't I
Speaker 1: didn't do anything I did for somebody to owe me anything, right,
Speaker 1: And I think that's important too, is that we have
Speaker 1: to have ownership and accountability of the fact that nobody
Speaker 1: made us do anything. You know, that's important that people
Speaker 1: remember everything has a price. Yeah, nothing's free. Free is
Speaker 1: a made up marketing word. Period. Someone somewhere, somehow paid
Speaker 1: for it some way. Nothing's free to include our freedom.
Speaker 1: And regardless of how you feel about this nation, regardless
Speaker 1: of the faults, the division, the politics, it is the
Speaker 1: freest country in the world.
Speaker 2: Yes, guaranteed you know the struggles because you first hand
Speaker 2: dealt with them. Eighteen months you spent in the hospital.
Speaker 1: I found myself in the hospital, and I found myself angry,
Speaker 1: reverting back to all I knew fighting just everything was
Speaker 1: a fight, and I feel like that's where, for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: growing up, like that's what I did. When I'm backed
Speaker 1: into a corner, I'm going to fight my way out
Speaker 1: and I went from fighting in a combat zone to
Speaker 1: fighting from a hospital bed, and a lot of relying
Speaker 1: on my grit to get me to the next minute,
Speaker 1: and then the next minute, then the next minute, because
Speaker 1: it was not a day by day thing. Yeah, especially
Speaker 1: the first several months I was home. It was a
Speaker 1: minute by minute thing where even when I blinked hard,
Speaker 1: it felt like getting blown up all over again. And
Speaker 1: dealing with the people I dealt with. The loss and
Speaker 1: the trauma and the tragedy didn't stop when I got
Speaker 1: back home, meaning to America, because it seemed like once
Speaker 1: a week, every week I was in the hospital, I
Speaker 1: was paying my respects to a flag great body in
Speaker 1: a hospital room, and then talking to the families and
Speaker 1: telling them I'm sorry, knowing that a lot of them
Speaker 1: were looking at me and thinking how come you lived,
Speaker 1: not having an answer for that. That's an interesting position
Speaker 1: to be in, because then you feel guilty, and then
Speaker 1: you feel shame, and then you feel all these things
Speaker 1: of Okay, well, why did I live? Why was I spared?
Speaker 1: Why did I get to keep carrying on regardless of
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm a now drug addict soon to
Speaker 1: be alcoholics, Like why now I'm able to answer that.
Speaker 1: I think it was a lot more conviction through truth
Speaker 1: and with the pure heart where was before? You know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't because I was lost for a long time.
Speaker 1: And I remember the first time I was asked to
Speaker 1: go speak, and it was by my grandmother. You know
Speaker 1: that you can't say no to even if she said
Speaker 1: something crazy, which to me, I need you to come
Speaker 1: speak to my rotary club, Like that was crazy. It's like,
Speaker 1: are you crazy? And of course I didn't say that,
Speaker 1: but I'm thinking it.
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, What the hell are you?
Speaker 1: Why are you asking me to do this? Completely forgetting
Speaker 1: the fact that she has been on this earth way
Speaker 1: longer than me and has a ton more wisdom. And
Speaker 1: so of course I went and did it, and it
Speaker 1: was horrible and I was high and all I thought
Speaker 1: about was getting more high. I'm pretty sure eighty percent
Speaker 1: of the room fell asleep because I was probably about
Speaker 1: fifty years the junior in the room, and it was
Speaker 1: just a horrible, horrible deal. Like I was sitting there,
Speaker 1: I was sweating grind aids, and I was just like
Speaker 1: I just ready for this to be over. With the
Speaker 1: fact that I even do question and answer now when
Speaker 1: I do public engagements is crazy to me because when
Speaker 1: I was done, I remember, like, I walked off the
Speaker 1: back part of this podium inside a white room with
Speaker 1: a lot of white hairs, and I walked out the
Speaker 1: back doors and when I finished, I don't even remember
Speaker 1: how I finished, but I'm pretty sure. I'm like, that's it.
Speaker 1: And I was already walking out, you know, not well
Speaker 1: because I was still healing, but I couldn't get a
Speaker 1: cigarette fast enough, right, And I walked outside and I
Speaker 1: burned one, and my grandmother walked out there and she said, so,
Speaker 1: how do you feel. I looked at her and I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, actually knowing that it was it was crap,
Speaker 1: and that it was just me tripping over myself. But
Speaker 1: it was the first time I told my story, and
Speaker 1: it was the first time I told my truth and
Speaker 1: how it had happened. And I left a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff out because I wasn't fully embracing my vulnerability yet.
Speaker 1: And I just said, you know, I feel lighter, I
Speaker 1: feel a little bit better. And she just looked right
Speaker 1: at me and said, good, that was a point and
Speaker 1: walked away. And I was like, damn it, freaking brain ninja.
Speaker 1: But now I totally get it well for sure. It
Speaker 1: was just like when people ask you, how long are
Speaker 1: you going to do this speaking stuff? Because inevitably I
Speaker 1: bitch about having to do it because we're so spoiled,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, you hear me do it
Speaker 1: weekly when I'm like, oh, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: do this thing or whatever because there's so much going on.
Speaker 1: And then I get done and I look at you
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, I'm so glad I did this thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you feel lighter because every time it's.
Speaker 1: Therapy, it's therapeutic, it's cathartic. And when people ask me,
Speaker 1: and you've heard me say it to him, how long
Speaker 1: are you going to do this? When are you going
Speaker 1: to stop doing this? And I always say, when I
Speaker 1: walk off of a stage or I leave a place
Speaker 1: and I don't feel lighter, is the day all stop?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: But now I'm just very honest with the audience. Isn't
Speaker 1: like tell him like, hey, I'm here for me just
Speaker 1: as much as you're here for me, exactly.
Speaker 2: And by the time we had met in twenty fourteen,
Speaker 2: you had been public speaking for years and had really
Speaker 2: honed your craft. I'd been doing my real hero show
Speaker 2: for a couple of years at that point, and we
Speaker 2: actually met at a veterans event in Fort Worth. It
Speaker 2: was just such a great thing to meet you. And
Speaker 2: I remember, and I remember Jackson, your oldest was three
Speaker 2: at the time, and he looked so cute in his
Speaker 2: little cowboy outfit, and we were at the stockyards and
Speaker 2: I just remember walking up to him and saying, you're
Speaker 2: gonna push me around the dance floor later, and he did,
Speaker 2: and that was the well I carried him. But I
Speaker 2: was the first person he ever danced with. That's super
Speaker 2: special to me.
Speaker 1: I remember that as hammered as I was, I remember
Speaker 1: that it was a beautiful moment. That is something that
Speaker 1: it's almost like God knows what he's doing. Yes, I'd
Speaker 1: been speaking for a while, and I'd been doing a
Speaker 1: lot of work and trying to discover things about me
Speaker 1: that made me do things that I did, or decisions
Speaker 1: I made or whatever. And I was very much in
Speaker 1: my journey to healing. And it was not pretty because
Speaker 1: I was definitely abusing alcohol, doing the occasional drug, not
Speaker 1: yet living the way I needed to live. Yeah, I was,
Speaker 1: by no means being an effective example to my son.
Speaker 1: I was by no means being an example to my family,
Speaker 1: my community, And it was something that I really struggled
Speaker 1: with because we all deal with this form of hypocrisy
Speaker 1: when we say one thing and we know that we're
Speaker 1: not doing the thing, you know, which makes it harder
Speaker 1: for us to ultimate goal love the person staring back
Speaker 1: at him in the mirror. Only then can you truly
Speaker 1: be effective in your fight for the greater good. Doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you can't have grit, doesn't mean you can't get
Speaker 1: things done. It doesn't mean you can't be effective for
Speaker 1: other human souls, because I did all that for years.
Speaker 1: But how much was I truly fighting for the greater
Speaker 1: good while I was fighting myself every step of the way.
Speaker 1: Now that I'm able to most times be in a
Speaker 1: peaceful place and be convicted who I am and love
Speaker 1: the person inside this skin or what's left of this skin,
Speaker 1: like I feel it now more than I ever have.
Speaker 1: And now that I'm clean and sober and understand human
Speaker 1: psychology and the human element the way that I do
Speaker 1: because of my own demons, I'm taking the bull by
Speaker 1: the horns, if you will, and understanding why my mind
Speaker 1: works the way it works, and what post traumatic stress
Speaker 1: really means and what that is, which ultimately for everybody listening,
Speaker 1: is nothing more than a normal reaction to an otherwise
Speaker 1: abnormal situation. Does it mean like you're completely messed up
Speaker 1: and there's no turning back. It's not what that means.
Speaker 1: It means that was completely normal.
Speaker 2: And I know veterans are the ones that were that term,
Speaker 2: and that kind of got coined initially. We don't own it,
Speaker 2: but veterans don't own PTS to.
Speaker 1: You've been around a long time.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what you've been through diabetes, or if
Speaker 2: you've been raped, or you've gone through family abuse or what.
Speaker 1: Anything, anything, It makes you normal. Our bodies have things
Speaker 1: that are built in to help us survive these situations
Speaker 1: in order to thrive. That's all that means. And that's
Speaker 1: why you hear me say all the time to people
Speaker 1: all over it's okay to not be okay. That makes
Speaker 1: you normal.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: You're not going to ever wake up every day the
Speaker 1: rest of your life and ride on your unicorn on
Speaker 1: the rainbow to and back from the office. That's not
Speaker 1: real life. That's not reality. But the more that you
Speaker 1: can embrace it and fill it, which through my journey
Speaker 1: through sobriety. It was very free and I learned a
Speaker 1: lot of these things at the Center for Brain Health
Speaker 1: and Brain Performance Institute well before I actually got into
Speaker 1: the nonprofit realm. It was a constant discovery of my
Speaker 1: own soul. It was like an onion pill in the
Speaker 1: layer's back and then having all of these epiphanies like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's why I did that thing, was to counteract that thing, right,
Speaker 1: probably happened when I was a little kid.
Speaker 3: Childhood trauma.
Speaker 2: But you also had veterans they're working with you that
Speaker 2: you were able to kind of start some of that
Speaker 2: peer to peer support.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, that's something that I think doesn't get enough praise,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't have to be just through veterans. And
Speaker 1: that's what I think is really important for our listeners
Speaker 1: to understand is this is not a show about veterans.
Speaker 1: This is not what that has to do with. This
Speaker 1: is a show about human beings dealing with human issues
Speaker 1: in order to thrive and what tools they utilize to
Speaker 1: get them through the valley. It's not just about veterans.
Speaker 1: And I was very adamant from the very beginning, like
Speaker 1: it doesn't need to be veteran heavy. I don't want
Speaker 1: this to be veteran heavy because I need people to
Speaker 1: understand we're all relatable through pain and suffering. That's the
Speaker 1: thing that we all are on the same playing field.
Speaker 2: I'm uncomfortable right now. I am so used to telling
Speaker 2: other people's stories. I've been doing for decades.
Speaker 1: But I really appreciate you right now, and I've got
Speaker 1: to just I've got to say my gratitude. I'm really
Speaker 1: grateful to you for owning that shit right now because
Speaker 1: I know how much you've been stressing about this, and
Speaker 1: it's so huge to me. I want people to feel
Speaker 1: what I feel when I walk off the stage. I
Speaker 1: want people to feel the freedom of embracing their humanality
Speaker 1: in the truest way that you possibly can, because that
Speaker 1: is the first step to reaching your full potential. Right, So,
Speaker 1: gratitude moment, and I just want to give that to
Speaker 1: you realquick. Yeah, you're exactly right about that peer to
Speaker 1: peer thing, and I think that that's something that is
Speaker 1: really really vital to people's growth forward. I've been in
Speaker 1: so many different situations, in so many different rooms with
Speaker 1: my fellow brothers and scissors in arms, having these conversations
Speaker 1: and being able to watch their soul actually get lighter
Speaker 1: through this period of peer talking about and sometimes and
Speaker 1: oftentimes actually it doesn't have anything to do with combat,
Speaker 1: doesn't have anything to do with a wartime experience, doesn't
Speaker 1: have anything to do with what the media is obsessed
Speaker 1: with showing over and over and over and over, because
Speaker 1: for a lot of us, we were really prepared to
Speaker 1: know because of what we volunteered to do, it's highly
Speaker 1: likely we're going to be in a very volatile situation
Speaker 1: that's going to be memorable. There's a lot of us
Speaker 1: that were a lot more prepared that the media gives
Speaker 1: us credit for. But what we don't talk about is
Speaker 1: the demons we had before we put on the uniform.
Speaker 1: That's not talked about, like what was there before, the
Speaker 1: gnarliness from the military, the.
Speaker 3: Childhood trauma, and then you just exacerbate it. But that's
Speaker 3: putting on that uniform.
Speaker 2: And you're right because there are so many resources out there.
Speaker 2: One of our best friends, Renee McQuillan, she lost her
Speaker 2: husband two years ago who was a very very dear
Speaker 2: friend of mine for twenty years and it was extremely
Speaker 2: traumatic and she got up and forced herself to go
Speaker 2: to one of the grieving widow's support groups, and I
Speaker 2: know her soul felt lighter after that. Whatever you're facing,
Speaker 2: there are resources out there. That is one of the
Speaker 2: beautiful things about the peer to peer and reaching out
Speaker 2: and sitting in a room with like minded people that
Speaker 2: just have the opportunity to talk it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean I remember the column though I
Speaker 1: had with Renee, pacing in my office back and forth,
Speaker 1: back and forth because I was like, I have no
Speaker 1: idea how this is going to end. But I remember
Speaker 1: her telling me after the fact that was the springboard
Speaker 1: I needed to take that deep dive into the journey
Speaker 1: of healing. And that was a prime example of peer
Speaker 1: to peer. That was somebody who's experienced significant trauma giving
Speaker 1: someone else, empowering someone else to take that first step.
Speaker 2: And it's one of the things that I think about
Speaker 2: and I try to think about often. You have to
Speaker 2: be so careful, just like people with diets and who
Speaker 2: want to be fit and be healthy. You watch what
Speaker 2: you put in your body. That goes the same with words,
Speaker 2: that goes the same with music that you listen to.
Speaker 2: You have to be so protective over your environment and
Speaker 2: over what you're putting into your body. And I think
Speaker 2: that's part of the reason. You know, after we met
Speaker 2: in our friendship blossomed more. I came to really admire
Speaker 2: you as a speaker because it was so powerful and
Speaker 2: so effective, to the point that I mean, you remember
Speaker 2: anytime I had an event, because then I had gotten
Speaker 2: really involved down in the Austin, Texas area with all
Speaker 2: of the military and veteran events going on in the area,
Speaker 2: and I had you come down multiple times and speak, and.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't charge you too, And he took full advantage
Speaker 1: of that.
Speaker 3: Damn right, I'd free ninety nine. Oh marketing word. There
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 2: But you know, it was one of those things where
Speaker 2: I knew the power of the spoken word, and I
Speaker 2: knew that you spoke your truth. And so yeah, you
Speaker 2: came down a couple of times. You know, you stood
Speaker 2: me up a couple of times.
Speaker 1: There's look, if you know what, if you're going to
Speaker 1: talk about that in front of God and everybody, tell
Speaker 1: the whole story, tell the whole story.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well here's what happened.
Speaker 1: Okay. The first time it was because I just got
Speaker 1: completely schmamwork. There was no way I was going to
Speaker 1: make it.
Speaker 3: Assent, thank you for your ownership.
Speaker 1: For a second time. That's not what happened.
Speaker 2: For seven years, I ran the military appreciation night at
Speaker 2: the Round Rock Express, which is the Triple A affiliate
Speaker 2: to the Houston Astros at the time and now the
Speaker 2: Texas Rangers, and I asked Jake to come and throw
Speaker 2: out the first pitch one year, and he called and
Speaker 2: canceled on me the day of.
Speaker 3: So the next year I put.
Speaker 1: Him back, and then first year totally my fault, one
Speaker 1: hundred percent accountabil I got completely hammered and I knew,
Speaker 1: like I woke up and I was it was a
Speaker 1: timing thing. I was like, there's no.
Speaker 3: Way, thank you for owning it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The second year, I put him in the slot to
Speaker 2: throw out the first pitch again, and everybody on the
Speaker 2: planning team was like, are you sure. You know he
Speaker 2: canceled on us last year he was a no show,
Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, shickle, pull through. He called
Speaker 2: me the day of and I said, you are not
Speaker 2: canceling on me again, and sure enough, and of course, I,
Speaker 2: you know, just started give him all kinds of heck.
Speaker 1: But then I interrupted you and told me why. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Then I felt like a jerk.
Speaker 1: As you should. Yeah. I said, oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: just so you know, my cousin died this morning. And
Speaker 1: you were like, oh my god, I'm so I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine. But I get it. You know, I'm terrible.
Speaker 1: I'm horrible. I totally turned it back on you. But
Speaker 1: then ultimately you got the last laugh when I actually
Speaker 1: did show up.
Speaker 2: There are times the charm so to get him back,
Speaker 2: of course, the first pitch goes out and stands on
Speaker 2: the pitcher's mound, and I had him standing out there
Speaker 2: and I made them read however bio.
Speaker 1: It was the never ending bio.
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
Speaker 1: It was like I would rather be prison shanked than
Speaker 1: have to go through something like that again.
Speaker 3: I think I added extra sentences just.
Speaker 1: To guarantee you did that. That's that's I know you did.
Speaker 1: Like you put in You put in craft that didn't
Speaker 1: need to be in there. And I was I remember
Speaker 1: standing up there on the mountain thinking of myself, I
Speaker 1: wonder if I could hit or with this baseball.
Speaker 3: Nope, nope.
Speaker 2: But it was at that time that I was really
Speaker 2: involved with a lot of different military nonprofits and veteran nonprofits,
Speaker 2: and you were also doing the work just across the
Speaker 2: board up here in the DFW area. And you know
Speaker 2: that if you remember at that time, there were a
Speaker 2: lot of nonprofits that were being exposed for misappropriated funds
Speaker 2: or not not not doing what they were saying they
Speaker 2: were doing. And so that was a time where we
Speaker 2: were grateful because there were so many resources that were
Speaker 2: becoming available for military and veterans, you know that were returning.
Speaker 2: Guys that survived Iraq and Afghanistan probably would have bled
Speaker 2: out in Vietnam. Right, So the technology has gotten better,
Speaker 2: the response time has gotten better, and so we have
Speaker 2: more wounded coming back. Well, fortunately there were nonprofits stepping
Speaker 2: up to do that.
Speaker 3: I always knew that if we.
Speaker 2: Had a veteran in need, in distress, that I could
Speaker 2: call on you, that you would be there. That was
Speaker 2: something that was very comforting for me to have, and that's,
Speaker 2: you know, part of the reason our friendship continued to blossom.
Speaker 1: Yeh through tragedy. You ever thought about huh, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: knew anytime it hurts me it wouldn't and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: just seeing how you're doing, immediately went into all right,
Speaker 1: next step mode. Right. It was something that I poured
Speaker 1: myself into and I did that via twenty two Kill Right,
Speaker 1: which was started by a group of warriors and a
Speaker 1: couple of business people here in Dallas years ago, and
Speaker 1: it was started because of the study that came out
Speaker 1: in twenty twelve that where the VA stated that on average,
Speaker 1: twenty two veterans died by suicide every day. I've caught
Speaker 1: so much flak over the years, Like Jake, there's not
Speaker 1: the real number, and that's not the point. It's not
Speaker 1: the point. One is too many, period of story. Suicide
Speaker 1: is just a word, just like hero that it's been
Speaker 1: diluted and doesn't have the original meaning that it was
Speaker 1: intended to have. But I tell people suicide is just
Speaker 1: a word until you get punched in the mouth by it.
Speaker 1: Then it becomes a very real thing. And I pray
Speaker 1: to God you never know what that feels like. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because I've buried over thirty of my friends who have
Speaker 1: died by suicide. And this is something that affected me
Speaker 1: years before the study came out, when I knew it
Speaker 1: was a thing, not only struggling with mown suicide ideation,
Speaker 1: but burying friends over and over and over and over
Speaker 1: and over, finding myself speaking at funerals, because having the
Speaker 1: widow ask me, Jake, will you be the first one
Speaker 1: to speak is like having my grandmother say I need
Speaker 1: you to do this thing. It's an automatic yes, regardless
Speaker 1: of how much I don't want to do it, because
Speaker 1: then I have to focus on not falling apart and
Speaker 1: being stoic and pillar of strength and all the societal
Speaker 1: things and all the labels, and when ultimately I just
Speaker 1: need to get up there and tell my truth. We
Speaker 1: put all this undue pressure on us to be something
Speaker 1: that we don't need to be, Like we need to
Speaker 1: wake up and just do us. Everybody else is taken
Speaker 1: and be okay with that. And I remember it was
Speaker 1: five and a half years ago somewhere in there. You're
Speaker 1: the human calendar or not. It was like God poked
Speaker 1: his head through a ceiling and said, if you don't
Speaker 1: stop drinking, you were going to be the next one
Speaker 1: they bury. And I mean I felt it to my core,
Speaker 1: just like the day we got hit and I knew
Speaker 1: we were going to get hit. I felt it that much.
Speaker 1: And that was the last day I had a drink
Speaker 1: of alcohol or the occasional line or joint or whatever,
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. That was the last
Speaker 1: time that has completely changed my journey. It's completely changed
Speaker 1: my path so much so that I was hitting the
Speaker 1: face with reality about the name twenty two kill. You know,
Speaker 1: twenty two vets. That's where the twenty two comes from,
Speaker 1: and then the kill, because suicide's and act, regardless of how
Speaker 1: you slice it. I got told so many times by
Speaker 1: so many people, you're never gonna get anywhere with that name.
Speaker 1: It's too strong of a name. Well, the more I
Speaker 1: hear that you're just feeding my ego, the more you
Speaker 1: tell me I can't or you won't, the more I'm like,
Speaker 1: hold my salad and watch this, like, the more you're
Speaker 1: just feeding the internal beast that doesn't understand. Stop all gas,
Speaker 1: no break, Like that's who I am, Like I suck
Speaker 1: at anything in moderation, it's all go or I just
Speaker 1: don't even show up, which I mean, you've witnessed them
Speaker 1: all different aspects, and that's ultimately it'll be a hell
Speaker 1: of a show either way, good, better, indifferent, It'll be
Speaker 1: a show. Let's just hope way less Jerry Springer more,
Speaker 1: Tony Robbins. But I got a very tough phone call
Speaker 1: right before the world shutdown. It was a very tough
Speaker 1: phone call about an officer from a very large department
Speaker 1: that we would we've done a lot of work with.
Speaker 1: And you remember this phone call, I mean you were
Speaker 1: in the living room and I was told that this
Speaker 1: officer had started his beat, took a handle of liquor,
Speaker 1: went out in the middle of nowhere, drink almost the
Speaker 1: whole bottle, called his wife from a cell phone, pulled
Speaker 1: out a service pistol, and he shot himself. And I
Speaker 1: remember being dumbfounded because I was like, he knew all
Speaker 1: about us, why wouldn't he come to us? And I
Speaker 1: was told, Jake, because he was non veteran, think about it.
Speaker 1: Your name is twenty two kill. That has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with law enforcement, right, And I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's time to stop being a hostage to my pride.
Speaker 1: It's not about me. And I called them mercracy board
Speaker 1: meeting and told him it's time to change the name.
Speaker 1: I remember one of them said right away, like, Jake,
Speaker 1: did you start drinking again? And he was He wasn't
Speaker 1: joking because that's how convicted I was in that name
Speaker 1: not changing And I said, it's time for me to
Speaker 1: put my ego to bed and stop being a hostage
Speaker 1: to my pride because it's not about me, and this
Speaker 1: will be the last time I get a phone call
Speaker 1: like that because of me. And so that's when One
Speaker 1: Trap foundation was birthed. And it's very simple. People are
Speaker 1: like one tribe. What's that mean? Human trib? We all
Speaker 1: bleed red, We're all connected by default. I want to
Speaker 1: help everybody, not just certain demographics, because I feel like
Speaker 1: ultimately we end up segregating people that have one thing
Speaker 1: in common, pain and suffering, and I think it is
Speaker 1: an equation that we have fallen victim to that needs
Speaker 1: to change. We got to remember the one thing we
Speaker 1: all have in common. We're humans first, everything else secondary
Speaker 1: to that. That's the whole idea behind this foundation is
Speaker 1: one tribe, one fight.
Speaker 3: We're all in this together.
Speaker 1: That's it. You know, when I started my journey through sobriety,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you remember, for the whole first year,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I was sober. I would say I
Speaker 1: wouldn't drinking, because I think those are two different things,
Speaker 1: living a sober lifestyle and not drinking or two different things.
Speaker 1: And that's where I really begin to fill everything that
Speaker 1: I had gone out of my way to numb. That's
Speaker 1: where I really started to grow. And it was uncomfortable
Speaker 1: and ugly and not pretty, and I'm so grateful for
Speaker 1: all of it because that's how I begin to truly
Speaker 1: start tapping into my full potential without crutches. In regardless
Speaker 1: of the fact that I'd gone through a divorce and
Speaker 1: which majority of said divorces because of me and the
Speaker 1: decisions I was making to go out of my way
Speaker 1: to numb and not feel and then at the very
Speaker 1: same time go out of my way to feel anything.
Speaker 1: I was a walking, eating, breathing contradiction because I wasn't
Speaker 1: dealing with my demons. I was avoiding. And so this
Speaker 1: journey through being clean and sober has really opened my eyes.
Speaker 1: It's really expanded my spirituality. I feel like my walk
Speaker 1: with God is as close to being in lockstep as
Speaker 1: it's ever been, and I'm grateful that I feel like
Speaker 1: the rides you're just starting agreed.
Speaker 2: And while at the time I wasn't dealing with PTSD
Speaker 2: or addiction, I certainly was drinking a lot. I was
Speaker 2: trying to numb, and I was hiding, and I was
Speaker 2: avoiding vulnerability. Right, my life on social media looked amazing.
Speaker 2: I was traveling the world, and I was involved in
Speaker 2: all these things, and I was still serving. I was
Speaker 2: still doing work for others, but I wasn't working on myself.
Speaker 2: I was in a toxic relationship that was truly eating
Speaker 2: me alive, and I needed to step up, and I
Speaker 2: needed to take that step to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, I
Speaker 2: was able to do that across from you.
Speaker 3: At a cafe.
Speaker 1: I'm not sorry in an airport when you look at
Speaker 1: me and you lied, just straight up, that's what you did.
Speaker 2: We hadn't seen each other in a little while, and
Speaker 2: you just texted me and said, heyes.
Speaker 1: Like I always did going through Austin.
Speaker 2: Hey, camerath, I'm coming to Austin. And we literally found
Speaker 2: this one that we both happened to be at the airport.
Speaker 2: I was flying out, you were flying in, and we
Speaker 2: sat down across from each other at the cafe for
Speaker 2: this one hour that we had and you looked at
Speaker 2: me and said, so, how are you doing? And I
Speaker 2: said I'm great, everything's fine, and you looked at me
Speaker 2: and you said, bs, how are you doing?
Speaker 1: Yah? Eyes are the windows of the soul.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm pretty sure mine watered up at that point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you definitely were like right, Row, you got me.
Speaker 2: But you know, that was the first time that I
Speaker 2: was able to start speaking my truth and stop hiding
Speaker 2: behind everything that I was going through at the time,
Speaker 2: And I'm.
Speaker 3: So grateful for the ability to.
Speaker 2: Open up and be honest with you, the strength that
Speaker 2: that conversation gave me after the fact to go and
Speaker 2: change my life for the better, get out of the
Speaker 2: toxic relationship, and start focusing on me so that I
Speaker 2: could reach my full potential.
Speaker 1: The beautiful thing about that night in the airport and
Speaker 1: that conversation we were able to have is that because
Speaker 1: of the decisions that I've made to live with truth
Speaker 1: and conviction, I was able to be ever present for you.
Speaker 1: Our relationship was purely a platonic friendship, and I'm grateful
Speaker 1: because that night, because of decisions I made and the
Speaker 1: ways that I chose to start living my life on
Speaker 1: a daily basis, I was able to be there for
Speaker 1: you in a capacity that I'd never been able to
Speaker 1: be there for you before.
Speaker 2: And your friendship was so important and vital to me
Speaker 2: at that time. For months when I was dealing with
Speaker 2: everything that I was dealing with, and I'm so grateful
Speaker 2: for that because it was hard.
Speaker 3: It's hard to share it right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because nobody likes sharing their scars, right, especially
Speaker 1: ones you.
Speaker 3: Can't see, but they're there.
Speaker 1: But it starts with empowerment, right, That's the first step
Speaker 1: is having the courage to take the first step in
Speaker 1: that valley. That's scary and it's full of a bunch
Speaker 1: of unknowns, but you know, you have to make the
Speaker 1: journey in order to get to the peak, because if
Speaker 1: you don't, you will never ever ever be able to
Speaker 1: enjoy the view from the top, right, not truly, not
Speaker 1: the way God intended. And that precisely is what this
Speaker 1: podcast is all about.
Speaker 2: And we came up with the idea for this podcast
Speaker 2: not too long after we got together, that the world
Speaker 2: needs more positivity. We've both led interesting lives where we've
Speaker 2: come in contact with so many people that have a story.
Speaker 2: Everybody's got a story going through this trauma, going through
Speaker 2: this tragedy, and then coming out on the other side
Speaker 2: a victor, not a victim, coming out on the other
Speaker 2: side with lessons that they can share with others to
Speaker 2: inspire others. And we all need it on a daily basis.
Speaker 2: We all need inspiration, we all need perspectives like bathing.
Speaker 1: It's good, have it daily.
Speaker 2: Every single day, and we're so excited to bring this
Speaker 2: to you. Not only are we inspired on the daily,
Speaker 2: when we go back and listen to episodes and ed
Speaker 2: of episodes, we're inspired by the words that come from
Speaker 2: our guests. This season on The Good Stuff, we feature
Speaker 2: some truly amazing people telling incredible stories of overcoming hardships.
Speaker 2: And many of these guests that we have are people
Speaker 2: that we're honored to call friends and family. And each
Speaker 2: episode is a lived experience of us getting to know
Speaker 2: fellow human beings on a deeper level.
Speaker 1: Not only us, but our entire team has worked incredibly hard,
Speaker 1: yes to make this podcast straight up soul food. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is food for the soul.
Speaker 3: Stories of triumph.
Speaker 2: I mean some absolutely hilarious moments, stories I promise you've
Speaker 2: never heard.
Speaker 1: Before in every guest. Every guest is just the roller
Speaker 1: coaster of human life. It's awesome and that's why we
Speaker 1: come away from it better every single time. Like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe we get to do this, Agreed, It's amazing
Speaker 1: and moreover, I can't believe we get to give this
Speaker 1: to other people.
Speaker 2: But that's the whole point. That's the good stuff. Thank
Speaker 2: you so much for listening. If this episode touched you today,
Speaker 2: please share it and be part of making someone else's
Speaker 2: day better.
Speaker 1: Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today,
Speaker 1: and remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the good Stuff. The Good
Speaker 1: Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick, Leah
Speaker 1: Pictures and q Code Media. Hosted by Ashley Shick and
Speaker 1: Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick Cassilini and Ryan Kountzhouse post
Speaker 1: production supervisor Will Tindi. Music editing by Will Haywood Smith,
Speaker 1: Edited by Mike Robinson,