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Speaker 1: What's up its way up with Angela. Ye, and this

2
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Speaker 1: is going to be a good conversation today. Man, we

3
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Speaker 1: got some legends here. Willie Colone is here from the Bronx. Yes,

4
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Speaker 1: born and raised Bronx. Okay, Yes, And Akisha Holly.

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Speaker 2: Colone is here too.

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Speaker 1: Thank you guys for joining me today, for having us

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Speaker 1: and I have to say I read this entire book,

8
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Speaker 1: could not put it down. Love how y'all both gave

9
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Speaker 1: you a very honest and transparent sides of the story,

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Speaker 1: talking about this whole journey from you know, just wanting

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Speaker 1: to have a family, wanting to have children. Faith and

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Speaker 1: Fertility is the name of the book, and we're going

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Speaker 1: to get into all of that. But first we were

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Speaker 1: just having a conversation off the air, and this is

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Speaker 1: a conversation I just had up here with Coach Jesse.

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Speaker 1: We were talking about menopause and perimenopause.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I told you I wrote this Faith and Fertility.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm going from fertility to flag because that's the

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Speaker 3: next relay.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I'm telling you it has been a journey. Now,

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Speaker 4: this was a journey.

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Speaker 3: But where I am now with toddlers, I'm forty eight

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Speaker 3: years old. I had my daughter had my son at

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Speaker 3: forty two, my daughter at forty three. I got to

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Speaker 3: forty four, I started feeling like myself. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting my body back, I'm getting my mind back.

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Speaker 4: Into forty four.

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Speaker 3: Going into forty five, I was like, wait a minute,

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Speaker 3: am I I'm getting I feel hot.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm like, babe, are you hot? Are you feeling this?

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Speaker 3: We're at night. He wants to get a little close.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, ugh, I couldn't. Yeah, and I mind you,

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Speaker 3: I have babies on the breast, but my mind was

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Speaker 3: getting foggy. Everybody's like, oh, well, you know you have

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Speaker 3: pregnancy brain and then the maybe postpartum. But I knew

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Speaker 3: something was not right with me.

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Speaker 2: And listen, you've been through so much.

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Speaker 4: Girl, listen. But God is good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, God is so God is so good, so good.

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Speaker 1: We are going to talk about that today for sure.

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Speaker 1: But I just think it is an important conversation.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: Else I had up here recently Malocksmi and she was

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Speaker 1: also talking about what she was going through with her

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Speaker 1: end demo and demetriosis. Yes, and she was saying how

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Speaker 1: she was married and she just did not feel like

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Speaker 1: she didn't feel sexual and sometimes the person can the

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Speaker 1: person you could take that away, but women's bodies are

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Speaker 1: so complicated, so much going on, and it's not easy

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Speaker 1: for other parties.

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Speaker 3: And it's like, you know, he's I will give him

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Speaker 3: credit in the first in the beginning, he did not understand,

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Speaker 3: and we were going back and forth, and I had

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Speaker 3: to tell him. I'm like, babe, you know how sexually

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Speaker 3: attracted we have been to each other. You know how

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Speaker 3: we used to get down and what we do. So

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Speaker 3: if I'm telling you, you know, because I had to

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Speaker 3: let him know, it had nothing to do with him,

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Speaker 3: and they don't understand that.

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Speaker 4: I really did not feel myself.

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Speaker 3: I felt fat, I was feeling hot, I was having

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Speaker 3: heart palpitations, my body was aching and hurting, and I

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Speaker 3: couldn't I couldn't help him.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't make him understand.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think I think for a lot of fellas

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Speaker 5: like myself, we kind of have a mind over matter

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Speaker 5: uh process where we try to say, hey, man, just

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Speaker 5: get through it. But when it's time for sexy time,

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Speaker 5: you got to be into it, you got to be committed.

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Speaker 5: And looking at my wife at times, she would be like,

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Speaker 5: all right, I guess, and that doesn't make us feel sexy,

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Speaker 5: it doesn't make it, it doesn't make us feel wanted.

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Speaker 5: So I've all the times she's back, come on with,

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Speaker 5: come on, get it over with the come on seriously.

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Speaker 5: And so it came down to a lot of me

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Speaker 5: having some type of like attitude and me like, why

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Speaker 5: even bother if this is how we're going to be.

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Speaker 5: And I didn't grow up. My mom didn't talk about

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Speaker 5: men and pause. My sisters didn't talk My sister didn't

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Speaker 5: talk about minty pause. Women in my family never talked

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Speaker 5: about mini paulse. So I didn't have any data on

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Speaker 5: what it is. And so my wife is my first experience.

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Speaker 5: And when you're a guy who like you know, you're

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Speaker 5: used to getting what you want in that avenue when

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Speaker 5: you want it, and it's kind of denied and it

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Speaker 5: is denied, and then you know, we have kids, so

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Speaker 5: kids are the first party, and so you start feeling

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Speaker 5: like am I get pushed out the house?

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Speaker 6: I'm already get pushed out my own bed.

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Speaker 1: And men can be jealous of their kids sometimes and

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Speaker 1: feel crazy.

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Speaker 5: About it without a doubt. And I witnessed that on

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Speaker 5: a daily basis. Me and my wife. One of our

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Speaker 5: arguments is that she won't kick our kids out the

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Speaker 5: bed like they My son and my daughter can sleep

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Speaker 5: like perfectly angels in the night, and somehow two o'clock

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Speaker 5: in the morning they're in my bed. I got to

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Speaker 5: put in my back, like they have this beautiful house, everything,

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Speaker 5: and they.

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Speaker 6: Literally be sleeping on top of me. I'm like, wife,

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Speaker 6: this is your job, kick them out of the bed.

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Speaker 4: I have well in my defense, and you've read this book.

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Speaker 3: And what a lot of people don't talk about after

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Speaker 3: we went through all of this is the PTSD that

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Speaker 3: we go through after we finally get what we've been

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Speaker 3: praying for, which are our children.

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Speaker 4: And so I have a lot.

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Speaker 3: I'm dealing with it in therapy, and you know here

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Speaker 3: in life is I don't sleep well and I'm not

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Speaker 3: comfortable if they're not with me right because I had

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Speaker 3: so much loss.

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Speaker 2: You had eight and nice carriage.

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Speaker 1: You had eight miscarriages for people that are listening, eight miscarriages,

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Speaker 1: and went through so much with your body to even

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Speaker 1: get pregnant each time. And I'm gonna tell you when

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Speaker 1: I was reading this book, every time I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is it, you know, and then you like had

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Speaker 1: the lower back pain. And then that's when you knew

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Speaker 1: and even like on the right before you were getting married,

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Speaker 1: you was going to be My guys, I can't even

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Speaker 1: imagine like what that must have felt like. But and

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Speaker 1: I don't want to give away everything that happens in

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Speaker 1: the book, but to start at the beginning with this

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Speaker 1: whole relationship and how it even started, A lot of

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Speaker 1: women might have given up early on because at first,

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Speaker 1: you guys didn't have a defined relationship.

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Speaker 4: No, we were not married.

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Speaker 1: We even boyfriend and girlfriend early on, it wasn't even that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because you know I met him.

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Speaker 3: I met Willie fresh off a Super Bowl chow and

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Speaker 3: he was out of he was in that listen, honey,

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Speaker 3: he was in those streets. And you know, I was

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Speaker 3: living in Atlanta at the time, and he was in

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Speaker 3: Pittsburgh and we met twenty eleven in the club.

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Speaker 2: And you guys are still Stealers fans, right, Oh?

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Speaker 4: Yes, I am a Jets.

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Speaker 3: Fan because I became like his girlfriend and going into wife.

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Speaker 3: You know, when he was with the Jets, So I

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Speaker 3: have more Jets wife, Jets wives friends and I sort

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Speaker 3: of bonded with them. But he had some of his

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Speaker 3: best friends or Steelers, and so I'm very cool and

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Speaker 3: one of our friends there, my kids, godparents, so you know,

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Speaker 3: but I considered myself more.

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Speaker 2: Of it for people too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard. Look, it's not that many of us.

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Speaker 3: I was a lot of us out there, but we're

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Speaker 3: all struggling.

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Speaker 4: But so back to this.

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Speaker 3: So I met him in Atlanta. He was still in

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Speaker 3: Pittsburgh at the time. I was in Atlanta and we

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Speaker 3: were in the club Child. We read Compound. For y'all

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Speaker 3: familiar with Atlanta out there.

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Speaker 2: I've been to Compound. Yeah, it's a good time, you know. Yeahound.

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Speaker 3: So we were, we met, we you know, started dating

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Speaker 3: for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: It fat like you initiated it too.

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Speaker 4: No, not intentionally.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you initiated it intentionally.

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Speaker 6: Got right hold that.

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Speaker 4: Look, I saw him. I'm sitting here. I turned around.

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Speaker 4: I see this guy with locks. Ye had dreads at

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Speaker 4: the dread.

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Speaker 3: Locks and I, you know, I had a few to

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Speaker 3: drink and I turned around and see his hair. So

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, realized I was about to touch

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Speaker 3: this man's hair. And I said, wait a minute. Well,

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Speaker 3: when I stick my hand out, he pulls it back

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Speaker 3: in and starts flirting. Girl, all up in my face

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Speaker 3: talking about your.

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Speaker 4: Pretty eyes and all this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we started talking, realized we were in the brother

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Speaker 3: Sister fraternity and sorority, and uh, it went on from there.

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Speaker 4: He was inviting me back to his room that night.

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Speaker 2: I said, no, thank you.

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Speaker 5: You know what I hate about the story because she

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Speaker 5: makes it seem like I was thirsty, and then I

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Speaker 5: was thirsty.

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Speaker 6: First of all, I was talking to the bottle girl.

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Speaker 6: She was talking to DJ No, that's.

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Speaker 3: What she doesn't That's what.

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Speaker 6: I'm talking about. There was more, there's more to the story.

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Speaker 6: I was like, you was the DJ.

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Speaker 4: No, I was not. We were friends and flirting, so let's.

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Speaker 2: Pot and you were talking to the bottle situation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and she was waiting on their VP table next

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Speaker 3: hours and hours too.

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Speaker 6: Right, And so by the end of the night, you know,

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Speaker 6: she crawled. She came.

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Speaker 5: That crawled, she came. She came down the stairs. And

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Speaker 5: first of all, I didn't recognize how short she was.

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Speaker 5: And I was like, man, who cut you off at

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Speaker 5: the knees?

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Speaker 6: Was the rest of you? Because she looked tall while

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Speaker 6: she was sitting in the booth.

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Speaker 5: And when we got outside, so I'm like, man, really,

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Speaker 5: you know hit it with the number two.

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Speaker 6: He would you like to go for breakfast? We can

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Speaker 6: do it back in my room, and she was just like.

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Speaker 3: I was like, listen, I'm going to our Thomas. If

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Speaker 3: you want to meet us over there.

201
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Speaker 4: You can. He's like, oh, well, I'm at the W

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Speaker 4: and you know they have great breaks. Yeah, I've been

203
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Speaker 4: to the W before.

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Speaker 3: I'm at their breakfast, but it's okay, three a m.

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Speaker 4: And there's nothing open.

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Speaker 3: Like my grandmother, you say after twelve o'clock legs, Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't want waffle house and.

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Speaker 6: How you really said it?

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Speaker 4: Though, wait a minute, this is I don't know.

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Speaker 6: We were Angela. She keep it a buck you know

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Speaker 6: how to get.

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Speaker 3: Them, cause he just kept saying no, you know, I

213
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Speaker 3: have a mother and a sister and something.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Gonna know that she's not saying that.

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Speaker 4: Girl.

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Speaker 3: Listen, they don't have nothing to do with my okay,

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Speaker 3: and so period, and that's what I said, and I said,

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Speaker 3: so I will meet, let's meet tomorrow. But he was

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Speaker 3: really nice about it after believe I have a mother and.

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Speaker 6: This like I'm not like the rest of these heathers

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Speaker 6: out here.

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Speaker 2: Mother and thiss in be a heathen.

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Speaker 6: That's what she was saying. That's exactly exactly what she

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Speaker 6: was saying.

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Speaker 3: So I was telling him because he kept saying, no,

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Speaker 3: I just want to do breakfast. And I said, listen,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to play with you. It's three o'clock.

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Speaker 3: By the time I get to your room, it's gonna

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Speaker 3: be three thirty am. If I know that, I'm not

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Speaker 3: fucking let me just say that, I don't come to

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Speaker 3: a man's hotel room, even though you can.

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Speaker 4: Go to a man's hotel room a three thirty and.

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Speaker 2: Because like, if something happens, it's your fault. Why were

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Speaker 2: you there? And that's something women have to think.

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Speaker 4: And that's why he said. In his defense, he was

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Speaker 4: saying like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 6: I have a sister.

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Speaker 3: I would never And I said, well, listen, and that's fine,

240
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Speaker 3: but your mom and your sister ain't got nothing to

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Speaker 3: do with my Yeah, and so I'm gonna see you.

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Speaker 4: I will see you tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: And it worked, and I asked her, listen, and you

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Speaker 3: say this, I said, if I would have come to

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Speaker 3: your hotel room that night, would we be sitting here

246
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Speaker 3: twelve years?

247
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Speaker 2: So you we're used to that exactly.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I was. I mean that's what my guys,

249
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Speaker 5: that's what we did.

250
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Speaker 6: Scoop and score.

251
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Speaker 2: So school, that's what we did and scored.

252
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Speaker 6: So old football, you know what I'm talking about.

253
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Speaker 2: Scoop and score on and off the field.

254
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Speaker 4: And I already mind you, I'm five and a half

255
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Speaker 4: years older than you, know.

256
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Speaker 2: What, so I look so interesting.

257
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Speaker 1: Is also both of your family backgrounds and the role

258
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Speaker 1: that played in how you dealt with relationships, right, just

259
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Speaker 1: even like for you really thinking about what you went

260
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Speaker 1: through with your father and your mother and not wanting

261
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Speaker 1: to hurt a woman the way that your father hurt

262
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Speaker 1: your mom.

263
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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean my father was a calm, flux man.

264
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Speaker 5: He's from Puerto Rico, and you know, I try, I'm

265
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Speaker 5: I'm I'm forty two now, so I have a different

266
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Speaker 5: perspective than when I was actually going through it with him.

267
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Speaker 5: You know, a lot of his makeup was how men

268
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Speaker 5: were built during that ever, coming from a home where

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Speaker 5: you know, my father's mentality, as long as you got

270
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Speaker 5: a roof over your head, food on the table, when

271
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Speaker 5: the lights is on, what is there to complain about?

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Speaker 5: But the different side, the other aspect of that is

273
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Speaker 5: how he was treating my mother, and he had another

274
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Speaker 5: family outside of my home, and so I would go

275
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Speaker 5: to bed at night watching me my mother suffered lupis,

276
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Speaker 5: and my mom was a sickly woman.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 5: My mother would go to bed at night crying at

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Speaker 5: the edge of the bed, where's her husband? And I

280
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Speaker 5: would be have to step up from the solar, you know,

281
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Speaker 5: and be like, hey, mom, we're gonna be all right.

282
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Speaker 5: And then he would drag his you know, tail back

283
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Speaker 5: in there and not having an excuse not to say

284
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Speaker 5: anything about it, It's just what it was, and we

285
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Speaker 5: had to accepted. And I watched my mom not only

286
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Speaker 5: battle raising young black boys in the projects of the

287
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Speaker 5: South Bronx, but dealing with the illness like lupis, on

288
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Speaker 5: top of dealing with a man who wasn't committed to

289
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Speaker 5: the marriage, and on top of really feeling like she

290
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,360
Speaker 5: wasn't enough for him, that's why he's stepping out. And

291
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Speaker 5: so I grew up in that atmosphere, and it really

292
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Speaker 5: kind of shaped.

293
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Speaker 6: How I viewed women, how I viewed relationships.

294
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Speaker 5: I modeled myself after what I saw, and that's how

295
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,280
Speaker 5: my dad handled his relationship.

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Speaker 6: You know.

297
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Speaker 5: My job was like as long as I'm making the money,

298
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Speaker 5: as long as I'm protecting the house. Whatever I do

299
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,320
Speaker 5: outside these doors is my business, not the homes. And

300
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Speaker 5: it affected all of us, and so it took a

301
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,559
Speaker 5: lot of growth, a lot of praying, and a lot

302
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,360
Speaker 5: of reshaping who I am internally.

303
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Speaker 6: And I think you know so much of what you

304
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Speaker 6: believe in is who you are. Your beliefs kind of

305
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:38,640
Speaker 6: shape you.

306
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Speaker 5: And I had to change my beliefs on how to

307
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Speaker 5: handle a woman, how to be a man, and what

308
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,680
Speaker 5: marriage looked like. I didn't come from a healthy marriage.

309
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Speaker 5: I came from a marriage that solely survived because it

310
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Speaker 5: was depending on the survival of me and my brother.

311
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Speaker 6: Instead of love.

312
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Speaker 1: Were you ever able to have a conversation with your

313
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Speaker 1: dad about any because I know he and even in

314
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Speaker 1: the book you talk about how he had this other

315
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Speaker 1: family and you were told to keep like the newest

316
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Speaker 1: baby a secret like don't tell your mother. I imagine

317
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Speaker 1: being told by your dad to hide something like that

318
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Speaker 1: from your mom, but also knowing I don't want to

319
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Speaker 1: have to tell her that because that's going to hurt

320
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Speaker 1: her so much.

321
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Speaker 5: It was tough, I think for me when I so

322
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,439
Speaker 5: it was a situation where I was there was my

323
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Speaker 5: half sister was in the home in the other home,

324
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Speaker 5: excuse me, and I was forced to take her to

325
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Speaker 5: the prom. And on our way to the prom, it

326
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,680
Speaker 5: was her eighth grade prom, to be exact, my dad

327
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,160
Speaker 5: dropped it on me. He was like, man, you're going

328
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 5: to walk into this home and your baby brother's going

329
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Speaker 5: to be there. And I was like baby brother, Like

330
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,560
Speaker 5: I know who my brothers are, and he was like, yeah,

331
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Speaker 5: we have another one. And then during that process, as

332
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,000
Speaker 5: I'm walking into the home, I can see as visually

333
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 5: as I'm talking about it, you know, it was like

334
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,839
Speaker 5: a bass in that dark room, moonshining in and there

335
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,600
Speaker 5: was this baby boy sitting there. And my dad is like, hey,

336
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Speaker 5: we're not going to tell your mother about this. And

337
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,120
Speaker 5: I'm already dealing with all the issues that I have

338
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Speaker 5: about their relationship. And I was forced to hold that.

339
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Speaker 5: But it also made me. It didn't just make me

340
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,520
Speaker 5: like resent my father. It also made me hurt, like

341
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,680
Speaker 5: I was hurting, you know what i mean. I'm just like,

342
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,760
Speaker 5: we clearly see this woman hurting. Like everybody's aware of

343
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 5: my mother's sickness and what she's going through and how

344
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,480
Speaker 5: she's battling every day, like what else, Like what has

345
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 5: she done for her to deserve this? And I grew

346
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 5: a deep resentment towarism, but at the same time as

347
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,800
Speaker 5: my father, so I was tied to him being my

348
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,040
Speaker 5: father and all.

349
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 6: Lawyerty towards each other.

350
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,200
Speaker 5: But it was it was very complex, and I dealt

351
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,480
Speaker 5: with it like I guess any other teenage boy, you

352
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,040
Speaker 5: kind of just hold it because you don't want to

353
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 5: upset your dad.

354
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 6: But at the same time, you hurt for your.

355
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:36,640
Speaker 1: Mom and your situation. Nikisha, I mean your mother. You

356
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,640
Speaker 1: actually were adopted by your aunts. Yeah, yeah, okay, so.

357
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 4: Excuse me there.

358
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 3: Biologically, my mom had six children and we had different fathers,

359
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:51,240
Speaker 3: and so my father's family found out about me when

360
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,040
Speaker 3: I was around seven years old. Between seven and eight

361
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,600
Speaker 3: years old, a neighbor in the apartments that we were

362
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 3: living in in Mississippi called my grandmother.

363
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 1: I told my grandmother, because you know, people talk and

364
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,920
Speaker 1: gossip about things, it was only a matter of time

365
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 1: before it was going to get.

366
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 3: Back, and it had been like circulating around the community.

367
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 3: My dad's family, they were very well known in Jackson, Mississippi,

368
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,360
Speaker 3: in the state of Mississippi. My grandfather was an educator

369
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 3: of music, so were his sons, my dad and his brothers,

370
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 3: and then my aunt, their youngest sister. Their only sister

371
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 3: was a physician, first black antestesiologist in the state of Mississippi,

372
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,720
Speaker 3: first black woman, and first woman. So they were sort

373
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,640
Speaker 3: of like this accomplished family. Everybody in the community knew

374
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,440
Speaker 3: them because they were either taught by them or went

375
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 3: to school with him. And so my mom, she was

376
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 3: from the I don't like to say the other side

377
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,880
Speaker 3: of tracks, but she was from another side and met

378
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 3: my dad and she already had, you know, my siblings

379
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,840
Speaker 3: before me, and they hooked up and here I come along.

380
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 3: But my father was married at the time, and so

381
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,440
Speaker 3: my mom and my father kept that from his family. Wow,

382
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 3: but people like you said, they were talking about it.

383
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 3: My grandfather said that he had heard it over the years,

384
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 3: but they didn't have any facts. Well, this neighbor ended

385
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 3: up presenting me to them, and they asked my father

386
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,320
Speaker 3: was it true. And I remember my grandmother saying that

387
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,960
Speaker 3: my dad, he was so stunned that they knew, and

388
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,040
Speaker 3: that he walked out of the door backwards, and she said,

389
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,160
Speaker 3: because he wouldn't he wouldn't lie to them, he wouldn't

390
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 3: say it out of his mouth, and so she said that.

391
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 3: My grandfather looked at it at her and said it's true.

392
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,520
Speaker 3: And so they called him back and said, listen, if

393
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 3: you have a child over there, and he said, well,

394
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 3: I only have one. And then he said well, and

395
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 3: I guess my dad was, you know, in the defense.

396
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 3: He his whole world was about to be turned upside down,

397
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 3: and he said, well, you know, I got to make sure.

398
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 3: I think they say she mine. And my grandfather said, well,

399
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 3: what does she call you? And he said, she calls

400
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 3: me dad, And he said she's sure, and she's ours,

401
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 3: and we want to meet her. And so I remember

402
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 3: the day going to meet my grand parents and my

403
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 3: aunt because my grandparents had just moved in with my aunt.

404
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,679
Speaker 3: My aunt did not have any children. She was in

405
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 3: her late thirties and she was past being able to

406
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,480
Speaker 3: have children, so she had moved my grandparents in with

407
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,399
Speaker 3: her because they were getting older and starting to age.

408
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 3: So anyway, my dad took me over to their home

409
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 3: and it to me at that time it was like

410
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 3: the biggest house I had ever seen in my life.

411
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 4: I lived, you know, I lived in the projects, yeah,

412
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 4: and very modest. My sister.

413
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 3: I mean, my mom did what she had to do

414
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,880
Speaker 3: to make sure we had and my sisters did too.

415
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,200
Speaker 3: But my oldest sister's seventeen years older than I am,

416
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 3: so you know, they've been adults my whole life. Anyway,

417
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 3: But I came in and I remember my grandfather crying

418
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 3: when he walked in the door to see me, and

419
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 3: he looked at me and he said, she's a holly

420
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 3: because at the time my last name was Smith.

421
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 4: I was like Keisha let Tay Smith.

422
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 3: And so we went through the process and I started

423
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 3: going to spend time with them, and then it was

424
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,600
Speaker 3: presented to them that they wanted me to, you know,

425
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 3: be a part of the family, and my aunt was

426
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,439
Speaker 3: going to adopt me. And at the time I had

427
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 3: a lot of resentment with my against my mother.

428
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, yeah, because I'm sure you

429
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 1: felt like, well don't you that's what you were Yeah.

430
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 3: Going through what I've been through, and as a mother

431
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:18,119
Speaker 3: today of two amazing children, I would never ever, I

432
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 3: don't care what the possibility, what it is, I would

433
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 3: never give them to anyone right even now, even though

434
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 3: I understand, I thank God every day my mom did

435
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 3: what she did. I understand her more today than I've

436
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:34,520
Speaker 3: ever understood her in my life. But at eight years old,

437
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 3: I felt like she had given me away.

438
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 4: I felt abandoned. And I've learned all of these words

439
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 4: through theory.

440
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 1: And she thought she was doing what was best for

441
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 1: your livelihood.

442
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 3: Yes, for my life, because over the years I had

443
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 3: three sisters who dealt with drug crack addiction and one

444
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 3: with alcohol. I've lost two sisters and I have to rehabilitated.

445
00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 3: But you know, I don't know if my mother could

446
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 3: foresee all of that, but I think I know now

447
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 3: she felt love.

448
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna save one.

449
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna do what I can for one. So anyway,

450
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 3: I moved with them, and my life drastically like changed.

451
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 3: I went from one of the poorest schools in the

452
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 3: state of Mississippi to a private Catholic school. I was

453
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 3: one of those kind of rags to richest story. I

454
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 3: went from us having no car to.

455
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 4: It was kind.

456
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: And you know, my grandmother was a retired nurse, and

457
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 3: my grandfather, like I said, was a retired educator, and

458
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 3: my mother, my aunt mom was a doctor, is a doctor,

459
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 3: and I just it was just a different life for me.

460
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 1: It was how did his wife accept you?

461
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 4: You know what, I don't know.

462
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 3: I think she accepted the situation. But I remember years

463
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 3: later my grandmother telling me because my mom used to say,

464
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 3: you know, she can go over there, but she's not

465
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 3: to stay like my by a loot. Come mom, you

466
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 3: know this side. We were about that life over there.

467
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 3: My sisters and mom like they didn't play and so.

468
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,679
Speaker 4: Today. But anyways, she so.

469
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 3: But my grandmother was hesitant too, and she ended up

470
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 3: telling me years before, after before she passed that she

471
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: told her. She said, listen, that's they called my dad Bubba.

472
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 3: She said, that's Bubba's child, and y'all can y'all can

473
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 3: deal with that, but he will take care of me

474
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 3: the rest of my life or the rest of his life.

475
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 4: She ended up passing before my dad. My dad just turned.

476
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: Ninety one last Wow, God bless them.

477
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah and so, and to add insult to her injury,

478
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 3: biologically I'm his only child.

479
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 1: Oh really, okay, wait a second, explain that. Yes, Oh

480
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 1: my gosh, Okay, y'all got a.

481
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 2: Lot going on.

482
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 6: So that's why we wrote a book.

483
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 1: But I've been thinking about all of these things that

484
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 1: you bring into a union.

485
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: That's your own backstory, right.

486
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,719
Speaker 3: And that had to play into where we were because

487
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 3: so my biological mom died when I was thirty six

488
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 3: years old. I had just moved here, and he and I,

489
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 3: like I said, we've met in Atlanta. We dated a

490
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,119
Speaker 3: little while and then we stopped talking because Willy was

491
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 3: for the streets child and I'm just saying, had you

492
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:21,199
Speaker 3: know people, And I was ready. I was ready to,

493
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 3: you know, be married because I realized that things that

494
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 3: I was going in my twenties and thirties, I was

495
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 3: changing the trajectory of what I always wanted, which was

496
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 3: ultimately a family, a husband, wife, and some children.

497
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 4: So when I got to that point and I met him,

498
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 4: it was.

499
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 3: Crazy because I had been praying, like God, the next

500
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 3: man I meet, I wanted to be my husband. The

501
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 3: next man I meet, I wanted to be my husband.

502
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 3: And I was dating this joker child in Atlanta that

503
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 3: I knew I shouldn't be with. I was just like,

504
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 3: it was, oh, yeah, I knew that at that ripe

505
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 3: age of thirty three at the time, I wasn't wasn't

506
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 3: it he wasn't it?

507
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 2: Yah?

508
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 4: And so I ended up beeting, Willie.

509
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 2: What are you trying to say here?

510
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 6: What am I trying to say? Yeah? Because you like, well,

511
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 6: well no, because I think my wife tries to say

512
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 6: it like I was just some whore.

513
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: That her mother come on.

514
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 4: Read read the book and I thought it was so.

515
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 1: I thought it was so interesting that you even wrote

516
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 1: honestly about this part.

517
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 4: Can I tell you this? I found that out when

518
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 4: you read the book when we got our manuscript, and I.

519
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 3: In his defense, it was no, really, I feel that's

520
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 3: so interesting to me because you didn't have to put

521
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 3: that in there.

522
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 4: Well, I told you, I'm not. I'm sorry baby.

523
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 5: No.

524
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 3: Remember when we were getting ready to write this book,

525
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,959
Speaker 3: we would separate in our house. I would go and

526
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: write my stuff down and get with our ghosts, right, well,

527
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 3: not ghost writer because we give her credit, but get.

528
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 2: With her write for an incident on the book, which

529
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 2: I love, Yes, okay.

530
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 4: And I.

531
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 3: He would go write his stuff and then he would

532
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: meet with her, and I told him he said, so

533
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 3: we're doing this because first I was hesitant about doing.

534
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 6: It because well we both yeah, yeah.

535
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 4: I was worried.

536
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 3: I'm like, are we ready to share this as we do?

537
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 3: And he was the one who said to me, he said, listen,

538
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 3: this is your testimony. This is our testimony, and it's

539
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 3: going to help so many people. So when he got

540
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 3: ready to do that chapter, he said, you want everything,

541
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 3: I said, I want it.

542
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 4: All, okay, Willie, Well, yeah, I mean, and I did.

543
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 5: I feel like if if anybody, well, I think a

544
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 5: lot of people are just knowing Akisha and I we

545
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 5: our brand is realness, being authentic, and I think we're

546
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 5: not our best if we're not ourselves.

547
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 4: And so that was the reason we left.

548
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 2: I was going to talk about that in a second.

549
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, if we were going to do this book, were

550
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 5: gonna have to go there and we have to be

551
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,159
Speaker 5: and we don't have to just take what comes with it.

552
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 6: And I mean, yeah, I was in Houston.

553
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 5: I was partying with the homies and and I had

554
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 5: a situation going on in the room with another lady.

555
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 5: And I got the call, and my first instinct wasn't

556
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 5: to say, oh, let me cover this up for Akisha.

557
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 5: My first things Tham was like, my first instinct was

558
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 5: I got to get to Akisha. And that was a

559
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 5: different shift than my because it wasn't that I wasn't

560
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 5: I didn't have strong feelings or I wasn't. You know,

561
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 5: I have conviction about it, but I was. I was young,

562
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 5: I was very, very career focused. It was having a.

563
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 6: Family, being married. All that just didn't seem real.

564
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 5: Wasn't something I was very not that I was against,

565
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 5: but I just wasn't for it, you know, I was

566
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 5: you know, my father was a product of his trauma.

567
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 5: I'm a product of my father's trauma. So all that

568
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 5: was something I wasn't ready to unpack.

569
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: And in a way, getting that out of your system

570
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 1: is also you know, maybe.

571
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 6: It's necessary, but I think.

572
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 2: Maybe it was your journey.

573
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 5: I think it well, I think that's necessary to whatever

574
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 5: that is, to get out there and meet different women party.

575
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 5: But I also think I was solely committed to being Willie.

576
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 5: I wasn't trying to change Willy. I wanted to play football,

577
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 5: I wanted to make money, and I wanted to meet

578
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 5: whatever woman I wanted to meet and do whatever I

579
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 5: wanted to do.

580
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 6: I didn't want to bear the responsibility of love.

581
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 5: I didn't want to bear the responsibility of dealing with

582
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 5: a woman and her issues. I didn't want to bear

583
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 5: the responsibilities of being ahead of a house that I

584
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 5: didn't even call for I didn't want that.

585
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 6: I wanted to play. I didn't. My mama was good,

586
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 6: my sister was good. I did my job, just like

587
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 6: how my my father's perception was.

588
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying.

589
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 6: So that's that's all I knew.

590
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 5: All this other stuff, I'm like, the hell with that, Like,

591
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 5: that's that's that's from when I retire.

592
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 6: So when I got the call from Akesha, my uh well,

593
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 6: you well, my mom called. When I got the call.

594
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 5: When I got to call from my mama, she's just like,

595
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 5: and you know one thing, you know, brother, and my

596
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 5: my wife is the witnessing.

597
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 6: Now.

598
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 5: The conversation a son has with his mother is different

599
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 5: than any other conversation he has with his life because

600
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 5: she says very few words, but the words she.

601
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 6: Used hit right to the heart.

602
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 5: And what she said was, hey, man, a Keisha's Mother's

603
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 5: that Keisha's mother has passed.

604
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 6: What are you going to do? That was it? And

605
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 6: my initial reaction I got to get to Akisha and

606
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 6: so she was like.

607
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: Okay, baby, And you hadn't met her family, right.

608
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 6: No, I just heard it before that, you know black.

609
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 4: And I want to just say this too.

610
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 3: I knew when I got here because getting back to

611
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 3: when we met, so I had just moved to New

612
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: York in that September of twenty thirteen. My mom died February,

613
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 3: so I had only been here five months when my

614
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 3: mother passed.

615
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 4: I knew when I came.

616
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 3: Here, like a lot of people was just like, oh, well,

617
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 3: you moved there because you know, for Willy and what

618
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 3: he says that too, I knew I wanted to get

619
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 3: out of Atlanta, and because I knew my husband was

620
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: not in Atlanta, I had met Willie and I had been.

621
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 6: Living in Atlanta.

622
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 3: I had been living in Atlanta about sixty seventeen years.

623
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 3: I went to Clark Atlanta University. I been there forever,

624
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 3: and so when I decided I wanted to leave, I'd

625
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 3: lived in la coming to New York, I had never

626
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: lived in this area.

627
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 4: So I decided on New York. Well, he ends up

628
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 4: leaving the Steelers coming to the Jets.

629
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 3: So I thought, like, okay, Lord, I said, you know,

630
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 3: I wanted this to be my husband. But I realized

631
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 3: we had not been in the same city at the

632
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 3: same time dating. But I knew, going back to what

633
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 3: he was saying.

634
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 4: Willy was coming back to New York.

635
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 3: He had not lived in New York since he had

636
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: gotten drafted to the Pittsburgh Steelers in two thousand and six.

637
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 3: When Willie left New York City, he was poor, He

638
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 3: didn't have anything. He was going going to live his dream.

639
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 3: He was coming back to New York City, one of

640
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 3: the best, if not the best city in the world,

641
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 3: as a millionaire, and he I knew that I had

642
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 3: to allow him to enjoy and experience this city without

643
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 3: the stress or the obligation or the hassle of saying,

644
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 3: oh lord, this girl, you know that's here.

645
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: His resentment at some points, and you're a hometown hero

646
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: and he's not Like.

647
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: There's a whole lot of.

648
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 4: Puerto Rican Like yeah, and so.

649
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: New York is not like the place New York City.

650
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: You have the teams here, but you you've heard of

651
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: your play out here.

652
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 5: You know that's the big that's the biggest conversation to

653
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 5: have with folks from downside, Like where do you.

654
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 4: Like? Where is y'all field? Beca like wait, manue, where

655
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 4: do y'all play a game?

656
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 3: So I understood that, And you know we're gonna get

657
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 3: back to like in that book when you say I

658
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 3: asked that.

659
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 4: But going on that day for me, the day I

660
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 4: found I was at his house, at his house.

661
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 3: You know, with his dog that was becoming our dog.

662
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 3: But we were in a crossroad anyway, and I remember thinking,

663
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 3: if you know, like before my mom passed, like when

664
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 3: he comes back, I know we're about to have a

665
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 3: heavy conversation because I don't even we don't even know

666
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 3: if we're staying. I'm over here, you know, Yeah, he's

667
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 3: doing his thing, I'm doing my thing. I was like,

668
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, after we've tried it,

669
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of problems, but getting the mayor,

670
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 3: I ain't never been one, so yeah, ninety nine.

671
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 4: But in New York City has what three or four

672
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 4: million people right here, so you know, I'll be fine.

673
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: But that was a conversation I knew we were gonna

674
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 3: have to have. But then this happens, and I was honestly,

675
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 3: I didn't don't. I didn't even tell him about the funeral,

676
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 3: how to get there. I just knew I've lost my

677
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: mother and if I can get through this, I was,

678
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 3: I'm not even I'm done, you know, that'll be it.

679
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 3: But he had a click. It was like we both

680
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 3: were having these moments.

681
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: He was like, I got to get this girl out

682
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: the house so I can call you know because and

683
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: that's a real thing and it fact. Yeah, one thing

684
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: I noticed about both of you is that it seems

685
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: like whenever it's something that is a that is tragic happens,

686
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: it brought you guys closer together.

687
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: And that happened like time and time again, things.

688
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: That could have ripped people apart or had you like

689
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: not aligned is actually what made you guys stronger.

690
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 4: Well, it was the faith too, because before that, I

691
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 4: remember when we were leading up to.

692
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 3: Before my mom passed, I would I told God, if

693
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 3: you give him to me, I'll bring him to you,

694
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: because I felt like the second time we got together

695
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 3: that he was the one. Even though my faith would

696
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 3: waiver some because the things that was happening and what

697
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 3: he was doing, but I prayed that. I said, God,

698
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 3: if you give him to me, I'm gonna give I'll

699
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 3: bring him to you. And so before games I would

700
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 3: pray with him for I remember he was coming up

701
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 3: with contracts.

702
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 4: I would pray with him.

703
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: And I just remember right before you went to Houston

704
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 3: and we had we were kind of getting into it

705
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 3: and he's gonna call me before a game. Now we

706
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 3: hadn't talked, and he was like, I just wanted to

707
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 3: know if you you know, you could play with me,

708
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 3: pray with me before this game. If you don't know

709
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 3: that bitch that you was talking, yeah, tell her to

710
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 3: pray for you.

711
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 4: Like that. But then God would come and say, I

712
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 4: keeps no, I'm telling you it was.

713
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 3: I would call him back and be like, all right,

714
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 3: come on, let's pray attitude dead father, this.

715
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 5: Nigga bless his head, and I'm like, okay, I said

716
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 5: keep the baby.

717
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 6: I gotta get the four quarters.

718
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 4: Because I was just like God.

719
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 3: I would literally go in my closet and I would

720
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 3: break down like I know I'm not Joe, Like I like,

721
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 3: you keep bringing this man to me, but he's clearly

722
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: not ready for what I'm ready for. But that's when

723
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 3: you know God has a plan and it's bigger than

724
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 3: anything that we could ever see, imagine or whatever.

725
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 5: And I wasn't faith. I didn't not that I didn't

726
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 5: believe in God, but I didn't. I wasn't immerged or

727
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 5: entrenched into the word or faith like how I am.

728
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 5: Keisha has definitely brought God into my life.

729
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 6: I knew.

730
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 5: As we started to pivot and I started to get

731
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 5: serious about us and what we wanted to do, I

732
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 5: had to do a self audit.

733
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 6: Man. I had to do a self audit about.

734
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 5: Where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, because, yeah,

735
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 5: I think for a lot of guys in my position,

736
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 5: being older, you're on the back half of your career,

737
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 5: it may seem like this is the right thing to do,

738
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 5: get married and whatever. But I really ask God, not

739
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 5: for this to be the right thing to do, but

740
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 5: what's right for me, you know, God, what's right for

741
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 5: me to do right now? And I would and I

742
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 5: told Keisha that I would go. So we we practice

743
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,959
Speaker 5: on Fridays, usually out the building by two or three.

744
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 5: It's kind of a short day for ball players. I

745
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 5: would literally go from the locker room and go to

746
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 5: a church near my house and sit out of pute

747
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 5: and just pray. I would pray my ass off, like

748
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 5: if I was playing a game, I say God, because

749
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 5: I was. I was at a cross rood. I knew

750
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 5: I loved this girl. I loved my career. I saw

751
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 5: my career closing because I was getting injured, and I

752
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 5: knew I I just didn't have enough in the tank

753
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 5: to kind of get older some of the things I

754
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 5: was dealing with.

755
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 6: I had a mother who was sick.

756
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 5: I was just it was just a lot coming at me,

757
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 5: a million miles an hour. And I knew one thing

758
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 5: about I love well I still love about Keisha. She

759
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 5: is the type of person who walks around the mirror

760
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 5: with a mirror. She will show you who you are.

761
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 5: And I knew I needed that in my life. I

762
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 5: couldn't live without that aspect of her in my life.

763
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 5: And because I foundation and relationship wasn't sexual, it was friendship.

764
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 5: She genuinely cared for me when I wasn't my best

765
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 5: for her. She genuinely cared and prayed for me when

766
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 5: I wasn't there for her at times. And I was

767
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 5: obviously with her mother. But there was times when I

768
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 5: was like, man, I need a friend. I just need

769
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 5: somebody to talk to man, and I can call her,

770
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 5: even though she'd be like yeahlaying me yea. And I

771
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 5: went to I went through back and you know this,

772
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 5: young Steed can tell you I went through back to

773
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 5: back irs when the Steelers were at his prime and

774
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 5: so and I was considered the leader of my room, right,

775
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 5: and I was at.

776
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 6: My lowest, and at my lowest she was.

777
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 5: There, and so I couldn't see I couldn't live with

778
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 5: on my friend. I couldn't because she she wasn't worried

779
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 5: about the money and everything that came along with being

780
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 5: with me. She was worried about me as a human being.

781
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 5: And I think that's why this book and our faith

782
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 5: and the genesis of who you are doesn't start with

783
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 5: you know, we met at the Hilton, or we met

784
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 5: the rich or whatever, we met with a conversation who

785
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 5: we're seeing? Two people who kept it real from the jump.

786
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: If it does feel like it was fate that brought

787
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: you guys together that night at compound.

788
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 4: I was not planning on going to night. I was

789
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 4: mad at the dude.

790
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 6: I was with.

791
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: But for now, the fertility aspect of this, right, So

792
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: once you knew this was your man, because sometimes also

793
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: I think people also think about is he going to

794
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: be a good father? A lot of times you think

795
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: of that first before we even think about is this

796
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: going to be?

797
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 6: All I had was adult?

798
00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really, But like he said, seeing past all

799
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: of the exterior of who everybody else knew was like

800
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 3: the Bronx, Bully and Willie Cologne. I being around him

801
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 3: and watching his work ethic, how he cared for his mother,

802
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 3: how he was with his family, even with his friends.

803
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: I mean he had guys living with them and taking

804
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 3: care of them and doing things for people that I mean,

805
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 3: it was something that I just saw past all of

806
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 3: that that I knew he would be a good father

807
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 3: because he was, you know, he was good to me right,

808
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 3: and I just I respected that about him, and I

809
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 3: felt like God brought us back together for a reason

810
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 3: and that was that was the reason.

811
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: So now this when I tell you, I was reading

812
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: this and I was like, wow, this is so powerful,

813
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: and thank you for sharing this because this had not

814
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 1: been an easy journey for you. You talk about all the

815
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: different things that you tried because you really wanted to

816
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: have a baby, both of you. I got a lot

817
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: of your perspective because this is your body going through

818
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: so much. I mean, you literally were doing acupuncture.

819
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 4: I was doing herbs, I was doing you.

820
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,839
Speaker 1: Had some fan blowing up in your girl. I had

821
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: this oxygen.

822
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 3: We went to this place they they oxygen nature, Oh

823
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: your insides or something.

824
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 4: Child. I started laughing.

825
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: When everything we spent so much money he spent. I

826
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 3: had already gone through because we weren't married at the

827
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 3: time we started. And that was another thing, like telling

828
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 3: this man, hey, I want to have a baby and

829
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,359
Speaker 3: I want you to be the father of it, and

830
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: he's like, He's like cool, okay.

831
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right. That day was crazy much in the game, yes,

832
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 4: But and then I dealt with all these insecurities of

833
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 4: I'm older than he is.

834
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 3: He could have had a baby with anybody, all these

835
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: you know, young tenders out here, and now you're having

836
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 3: to pay for me to have a baby for you.

837
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 4: So I was dealing with what if I can't do this?

838
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 4: Is he going to leave me? We've gone through all

839
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 4: of these things and my old ass can't get it done.

840
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 1: And I never I think society also because so many

841
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 1: times when you're with somebody, when are you guys gonna have.

842
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 3: And mind you, I'm on we're in Fota, no, but

843
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 3: we're in the football world where ladies were playing our

844
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:14,760
Speaker 3: pregnancies around the season. So when you're they're playing, everybody's pregnant.

845
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 3: So I'm at every baby shower from between the Jets

846
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 3: and Giants. And then and the spring is when you

847
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: want to have the baby because they're gonna be the

848
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 3: crazy I did not know, because you want your husband

849
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 3: there because they'll come in let the baby pop out.

850
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: He's going back to the day. I'm sorry to plan that,

851
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: you don't, you know. I mean, you can try with

852
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: the ovulating kids to go.

853
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 3: It's hard to plan it because it's so hard to

854
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 3: actually get pregnant, and people don't understand that there's only

855
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: one time a month that you can get pregnant. And

856
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 3: so it was I was doing all the things, and

857
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 3: then I start going like, well, maybe I'm not getting

858
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 3: pregnant because we're not married, and and maybe it's because

859
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 3: of this.

860
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 4: My level of anxiety began to rise.

861
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 3: And he had even he told me later, I found

862
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 3: that in the book that his brother had even asked him, like, so,

863
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 3: what are you gonna do Ifisia can't have babies?

864
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: And you said Jude had gone through and she's with

865
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: other women being pregnant and abortions, and I feel like

866
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 1: this is.

867
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 6: To get back I think.

868
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 5: Was when we can don't understand man, for you know,

869
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 5: for most listen, you've been around US athletes for a

870
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 5: long time.

871
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 6: We can be.

872
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 5: Extremely reckless and not understand the responsibility we have to

873
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 5: one day be you know, present ourselves in a healthy

874
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 5: manner to your wife. You know when I when I said, okay,

875
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 5: I'm having a baby with this woman, she will be

876
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 5: you know, you know, the leader, you know, right next

877
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 5: to me and leading my home. We did everything to

878
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 5: try to have this, but we sent them, we set

879
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 5: her from the multiple doctors and they were like, no,

880
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 5: this ain't happening for y'all.

881
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 6: Like I didn't have.

882
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 3: The follicles, My varying reserve was deteriorating. I I just

883
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 3: was not producing, which is crazy and maybe now that's

884
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 3: why I'm in meto pause.

885
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 4: But my body it just was not doing so.

886
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 6: Everything she yeah, so everything she was going through.

887
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 5: I felt like God was punishing me for my me,

888
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 5: my lack of responsibility, the things, the decisions I made,

889
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 5: some of the abortions I had. I felt like God

890
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 5: was like, this is this is your punishment.

891
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 6: And I had to tell her that, like I was like, babe,

892
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 6: I think this is cousin me.

893
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 4: Wow.

894
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 5: And and we had to bring that to the altar

895
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 5: and I was like, man, I'm you know, I'm sorry

896
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 5: for the young wild lilly that I was so proud

897
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 5: of and it came to the point because we were

898
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 5: trying so hard to have a child, I was ashamed

899
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 5: of him, right, And so I had to kind of

900
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 5: fight through all that, and I had to fight through

901
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 5: all the heartbreaks and the bad relationships, and I was

902
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 5: kind of it was like all those skeletons that I

903
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 5: had packed away were now sitting around in my.

904
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 6: Living room, like, no, we ain't going no where, Jack,

905
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 6: but we're here.

906
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 5: And I had to and I had to get through that,

907
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 5: and I think, you know, it shows when I know,

908
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 5: I know, we talked about it in a book, like

909
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 5: we were trying so hard. Like I was in training camp,

910
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 5: right and my wife drove up to Courtland. This is

911
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 5: when my time with the Jack and she's like, I'm

912
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 5: coming up there.

913
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 6: And I got a hotel. I got a hotel room

914
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 6: and we need to do this right now. And I'm like,

915
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 6: I got an ice pack here, ice pack here, my

916
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 6: back's hurt and had.

917
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 4: To sneak out because they cannot leave.

918
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 6: Yeah.

919
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 5: I couldn't leave the training camp, so I had to

920
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 5: go to one with my security. I was like, listen,

921
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 5: my wife is a popular and so I got to

922
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 5: go married.

923
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

924
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 6: So I was like, I gotta go, I gotta go

925
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 6: do what I gotta do, and I'll be right back.

926
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 6: And he was just like, well, you know, Willie. You

927
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 6: know if I was like, listen, you just get out

928
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 6: the way. And so you don't want to deal with

929
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 6: her and Angela. So I pull up, I pull up

930
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 6: to the hotel. The room opens up, She's laying there,

931
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 6: legs wide open. Let's go, and I'm like, there's I

932
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 6: don't know one dude that's horny.

933
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 5: After practice, I was just wanting a cold tub and

934
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 5: a drink and I'm on wrapping myself trying to get

935
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 5: myself together, and she's like, come on on the clock and.

936
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 4: R and I had to drive back.

937
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of pressure to perform.

938
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 4: We went through something.

939
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 5: And when we went through it, man, but we did

940
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 5: it together, and we did it with our faith, and

941
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 5: we did it with one gold of man.

942
00:39:59,320 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 6: Were going to have this.

943
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: Did you at any point think that maybe it wouldn't

944
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: happen and would you have been okay?

945
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 2: You would have been okay, though.

946
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I would have been okay because I knew

947
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 5: genuinely in my heart and the prayer I was doing,

948
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 5: the praying I was doing in that church by myself

949
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 5: and nobody around, with no influence.

950
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 6: My love for her kept showing up.

951
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 5: How much I loved her and what she meant to

952
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: me outside of the sexual aspect kept showing up.

953
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 4: But his faith ended. His faith at that time was

954
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 4: stronger than mine.

955
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: He would have to pick me up, you know, because

956
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 3: I was thinking, what is going to happen if this

957
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 3: does not and he kept saying, it's going to happen.

958
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: It's going to happen. I'm telling you, and mind you,

959
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 3: I had seen my son. God has shown me my

960
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: son like a dream son.

961
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: Because yes, yes, you see, that's my life.

962
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: So thank you, not one but two. By the way,

963
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: what I love is that there is a happy end.

964
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 1: So I knew that was coming, Thank goodness. And while

965
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 1: I'm reading it every single time, I'm like, this is

966
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: when it worked, well, watch.

967
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:07,919
Speaker 6: Say this quickly and I know, I know you're gonna

968
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 6: go babe for me.

969
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,720
Speaker 5: When she brought faith into my life and I started

970
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 5: getting in to the word and really leaning on God.

971
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 5: You know, one of the things you can't have faith

972
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 5: and words. You can't have faith and look backwards. You

973
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 5: can't have faith and then say okay, this is what

974
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,439
Speaker 5: I want. But if this don't work out, you got

975
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 5: to be all in. So that was the foundation of

976
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,919
Speaker 5: what we were building. I said, Babe, yeah, it's not good.

977
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 5: And then also it also runs parallel to what I

978
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 5: was going through in my career. So many times were

979
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,240
Speaker 5: being injured and not working. The next guy's getting drafted.

980
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 6: I'm saying. All I kept saying was like, state, see it.

981
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 3: Through Willie, and that's what I But I'm telling him

982
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 3: about that, but I couldn't tell myself. I got to

983
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 3: that point where it was just I was so tired

984
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 3: and I was drained.

985
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 4: I was exhausted.

986
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: I ially, that's so draining.

987
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 3: Yes, and I mean putting all of these we were

988
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 3: gonna put pictures in the book that from the bruises,

989
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 3: you know, everywhere. I started saying, okay, God, So the

990
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 3: baby that I saw was that a donor egg Because

991
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 3: one one of the doctors sat before us and she

992
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 3: said that, she said, the only way you're gonna be

993
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 3: able to have a baby is if you use a

994
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 3: donut because you do not have.

995
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: People tell you once your eggs, once you get older

996
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: and you're not producing the eggs like that, that you

997
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: have the only way.

998
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 2: Certain places won't do IVF. They're only and that's.

999
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 4: What was happening.

1000
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: My levels were one of the places we were at

1001
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 3: if they were over twenty two or they wouldn't do them.

1002
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 3: And then one was a twenty five. One time we tested,

1003
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 3: my level was a fifty six. And so that's why

1004
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 3: I love when you see me talk about doctor Stephanie

1005
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 3: Thompson in the book, because I met her through another

1006
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 3: friend and she was just like, listen, we only need

1007
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 3: one yeah, and she was willing to work, and she

1008
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 3: she looked like me, and in the sense of it

1009
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 3: was another black woman sitting here telling me I'm going

1010
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 3: to keep trying as long as you want to keep trying.

1011
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 4: And of that.

1012
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: And that's and you needed somebody to I need empathetic,

1013
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: understand y'all tell you what you couldn't do.

1014
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 4: That's exactly what I needed.

1015
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 3: And even though I tried with her and it was

1016
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: still unsuccessful, but I think the comfort I told him

1017
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: when we walked out of her office, I said, listen,

1018
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 3: if doctor Stephanie says that it's not possible, I'll believe

1019
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 3: her and then I'll look into other options.

1020
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 4: But God had other.

1021
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 3: Plans and I conceived naturally after that two times, two

1022
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 3: times with my son.

1023
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of judgment too when women have

1024
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: children older and they'll be like, oh, why would you

1025
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 1: do that?

1026
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 4: Well, if you would have had him earlier, you wouldn't

1027
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 4: be going.

1028
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: Through I not to say a lot of times people

1029
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: don't understand the journey because sometimes women do want to

1030
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 1: have kids earlier, and it's just you know, fertility is

1031
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: not an easy But when I.

1032
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 3: Think about I was not fit to be anybody's mind

1033
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: in my twenties, now you know I mean, and then

1034
00:43:58,160 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 3: when I was in my twenties child he was a

1035
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 3: teenage so please don't so no.

1036
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 1: But there is like I've seen people be like, oh,

1037
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: your kid's gonna be x y and z.

1038
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 5: Oh that's it's just dumb, right because the goal is

1039
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 5: to bring a child into this world with every every option,

1040
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 5: not a smooth path, but you want to want to

1041
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 5: be prepared for that child, not only from your personal standpoint, financially, spiritually,

1042
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 5: just so many aspects you can have to prepare for

1043
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 5: a child. I think for us, I wanted a child.

1044
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 5: I wanted to have it with a Keisha. I didn't

1045
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 5: know when like I said, I was so committed to

1046
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 5: my career. I just knew I wanted it. I just

1047
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 5: didn't wanted it right. I didn't win it in that window.

1048
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 3: And I didn't have the time though, because I was

1049
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 3: older than he was, so I knew when I presented

1050
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 3: to him that I wanted to have kids, I had

1051
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 3: to be prepared that if he said, that's not what

1052
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 3: I want to do, I want to wait another four

1053
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 3: because remember.

1054
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 4: He was only thirty one. I was thirty six.

1055
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 3: I was about to turn thirty seven, right, so I

1056
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 3: didn't have five years to give him.

1057
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 2: And when they do names like oh, this is a

1058
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 2: geriatric pregnant.

1059
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 3: Girl, when I was going to get all of my treatment,

1060
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 3: and I looked on that little wristband and it had

1061
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: Jerry Jerryatrick.

1062
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 4: Wait one out of that and like once I had.

1063
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 3: The pregnancy, like I said, the PTSD after that, even

1064
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 3: when I found out I was pregnant with my son,

1065
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 3: I was. There wasn't an excitement in the beginning because

1066
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 3: mind you, I had had seven miscarriages before that, so

1067
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: I was so worried each time I went to a

1068
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 3: doctor's visit. I remember when we were about to announce

1069
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 3: my pregnancy. I had called doctor Stephanie. I said, I'm

1070
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 3: not going to do it today because I was having

1071
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 3: this big party. We do a thing called Colone Classic

1072
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: every year. It's like our little holiday thing, and so

1073
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 3: I wanted to announce there and I was like, I'm

1074
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 3: not going to do it. She said, Akeisha, it's fine.

1075
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 3: So then she called my high risk specialist and had

1076
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: her to bring me in so we could see everything, heartbeat, everything,

1077
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: because I got so nervous and every time we went

1078
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 3: to the hospital, I mean to the doctor's office, I

1079
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 3: was afraid something was going to happen. Even now, yeah,

1080
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 3: even today.

1081
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 2: That's why they keeping at your clock.

1082
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 4: I keep looking at that clock.

1083
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 3: But I want to get across the bridge about it's

1084
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 3: that thing.

1085
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 6: It's still with you so well, I just want to

1086
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 6: briefly talk about it.

1087
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,280
Speaker 5: She talks about her being nervous going to the doctor's office.

1088
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:25,280
Speaker 5: For me having to give my sample, that was another

1089
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 5: taxing situation because for every man out there that has

1090
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 5: to give up their seed, I mean, the process is

1091
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 5: not a friendly one because you have to now go

1092
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 5: into a room.

1093
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 3: That has a plastic couch, a magazine, a couple of

1094
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 3: magazines and videos now and this moan it was worse

1095
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 3: about it.

1096
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 6: So you got to get yourself up and ready to go.

1097
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 6: And then one time.

1098
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 4: They let me come in there with them.

1099
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 2: They did, Okay, that's nice.

1100
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 4: It really wasn't.

1101
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 6: She's trying to play.

1102
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 4: I'm like, he's like, I gotta go to practice.

1103
00:46:58,680 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 6: But I was going to say this.

1104
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 5: And when you get into the room, you're looking at

1105
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 5: a video or an option the last guy had before you.

1106
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 6: So you're sitting there like, oh, oh no, I don't.

1107
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 6: I don't do that.

1108
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 4: He's trying to find and whatever.

1109
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm looking for the brazilion and all and I

1110
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,439
Speaker 6: got snow white and yeah. So it's it's it's wild.

1111
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 2: And all that.

1112
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 5: That's importn right, but against aggressive, it's aggress It's a lot.

1113
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 6: But I do I do say this. We've met a

1114
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 6: lot of couples in.

1115
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 2: There, not in that room but no.

1116
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 5: But but I told you this, when you're in the

1117
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 5: waiting room.

1118
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 6: We have met other couples who have been there for

1119
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:40,439
Speaker 6: a long time.

1120
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 5: We met this one Asian couple who addressed it and

1121
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 5: I mean they had they had it, you tell they

1122
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 5: had it.

1123
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 6: And the one thing they didn't have was a child.

1124
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 5: They had been there for five or six years in

1125
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 5: the same clinic, pounding the drum, and they were just

1126
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 5: and they were they weren't living in New York. They

1127
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 5: were flying in from and so I got to know

1128
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 5: the gentleman. I got to know him because he was

1129
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 5: ahead of me, so we can I was.

1130
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 6: Standing in the same line. Hey, you up there all

1131
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,439
Speaker 6: right away.

1132
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 5: So you're going through you're going through all that and

1133
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 5: when you see other people go through it, and that's

1134
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 5: one thing that you should One of our reasons for

1135
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 5: writing this book was we left a lot of couples

1136
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 5: in the fight in that room who was still trying,

1137
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 5: still fighting Like us. We were the fortunate ones, by

1138
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 5: God's grace and mercy, to come out of it on

1139
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:25,280
Speaker 5: the other side.

1140
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 6: But we know for a fact there.

1141
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 3: Were some couples in just and like he said, they

1142
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:31,879
Speaker 3: had it, But there were couples in there who were

1143
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 3: spending their lives.

1144
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: Yeahs say, am I gonna pay for this?

1145
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1146
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 3: Are going to And I'm like, wait a minute, I

1147
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 3: think of what we pay now with our children like you,

1148
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 3: they still have to live and eat after this. And

1149
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 3: they were people who they were like, this is their

1150
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 3: last time, you.

1151
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 5: Know, their last see people like literally losing their house

1152
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 5: trying to have.

1153
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 4: It was it was hard.

1154
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 6: It was hard, man.

1155
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh my goodness. Well, I do appreciate y'all.

1156
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: And it's so interesting that you guys did bell collective

1157
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 1: and like you said early, the way you quit was

1158
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:06,760
Speaker 1: no that went so viral.

1159
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 3: Well, no, I only did it that way because those

1160
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 3: heifers tried to get at the end of the last

1161
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 3: season and do a scene saying that they were about

1162
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 3: to kick me off the show.

1163
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 2: Contract.

1164
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, let me let.

1165
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 3: Y'all know, and you don't have the power to kick

1166
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 3: me anywhere. So I did it that way because I

1167
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 3: knew if I would not have publicly announced or a

1168
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 3: way that people could see actually what happened, they would

1169
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 3: have spent that story in a kind of way and

1170
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 3: said that they were the reason that I wasn't on

1171
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 3: the show. But a part of leaving was because of

1172
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 3: you know what you read, everything that we've gone through

1173
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 3: to build our brand and our family. It wasn't worth

1174
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 3: it to be fighting and yelling TV. It just wasn't

1175
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 3: worth it on that show. And when I went into.

1176
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 6: It and I'm gonna let you go but we alto

1177
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 6: don't play the victim.

1178
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 5: We understood what we said, but we had a goal

1179
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 5: and we had a brand were trying to uphold, and

1180
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 5: we felt like we straight away from here as a

1181
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 5: couple and as a family, we represent a lot more

1182
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 5: than only for our family, but for our community, and

1183
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 5: there's a standard we just.

1184
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 6: We're not gonna fall down.

1185
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 1: And sometimes when you're a gun, that's when people realize

1186
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: what you really did bring talk about it and tell it,

1187
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: you know, because I saw a lot of people that

1188
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 1: missed you guys being on there and the level.

1189
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 3: Of well it it went away from what the what

1190
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 3: I thought the purpose of the show was, and it

1191
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:25,919
Speaker 3: was highlighting these women, Black women in Mississippi, Jackson, Mississippi

1192
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 3: business professional women like listen, I don't mind the drama.

1193
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 3: I understand reality TV. You can have, you know, a

1194
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 3: little drama here and there. You can come from me

1195
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 3: all day. I have no problem with that. But when

1196
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 3: you come for him right, that's the issue.

1197
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:39,959
Speaker 4: That's a problem.

1198
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 2: You was ready to throw down, baby.

1199
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 6: That was the matter I've ever seen my wife in

1200
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 6: my life.

1201
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 5: Well, I did ask when we got home after everything

1202
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 5: kind of calmed down and the house you know her

1203
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 5: folks is ready to mount up and get going, and

1204
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 5: I'm like, hey, now chill out. But I thought I

1205
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 5: was like, baby, I ain't never seen you that man.

1206
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 5: She was like, because I don't play about.

1207
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 3: You on mine, and you're not gonna it was disrespectful.

1208
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,720
Speaker 3: You know, we knew part of the storyline was Willi's

1209
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 3: from New York. He's a fish out of water down there.

1210
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 3: Everybody knows the storyline. They when you realized that there

1211
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 3: was real malice and envy, jealous like they really did

1212
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 3: not like him, and it was continued like, no, we're not.

1213
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: My husband's on national television every day. I'm not about

1214
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 3: to lose the job that really pays our bills.

1215
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: And that's another thing that you have to think about professionally.

1216
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: And I love the transition that you were able to

1217
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 1: make in your career also as being a commentator. That's

1218
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 1: huge because a lot of times people do have to

1219
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 1: think about what's going to happen. You know, you know

1220
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 1: that there's a window of time and so what's next.

1221
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: And I know that a Keisha was a large part

1222
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: of you knowing that you should even be pushed in

1223
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 1: that direction.

1224
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, I did not know where to go.

1225
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 5: When I retired Kishu, when I was doing a lot

1226
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 5: of stuff here regionally for S and Y TV and

1227
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 5: doing different spots on ESPN, she was like, hey, man,

1228
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 5: I know you don't.

1229
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 6: Know what to do, but if you give it, if

1230
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:57,240
Speaker 6: you give.

1231
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 5: This a shot, give it a shot and let yourself

1232
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 5: kind of go, I think you can do You can

1233
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 5: be great at this.

1234
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 6: I think it'd be really good. But I was I

1235
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 6: was an athlete, I was a ballplayer.

1236
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 3: He had this mentality, if your mind is what happens

1237
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 3: off the field, then you're not focused on the field. Yes,

1238
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 3: And I kept trying to say, I knew physically his

1239
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,879
Speaker 3: body was breaking down, but he wasn't ready to see

1240
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 3: that was what you knew your whole that's all he's

1241
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 3: and and so I was trying to like, as women,

1242
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 3: we have to push them in a direction without them

1243
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,919
Speaker 3: knowing we're pushing, and you have to. And so that's

1244
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,320
Speaker 3: what I began to do, is kind of show him

1245
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 3: how great he was at it. And so the NFL

1246
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:40,280
Speaker 3: offers a broadcasting boot camp for current and uh former players,

1247
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 3: and so I saw.

1248
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 4: That and I went in and I started.

1249
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 3: Listen, you you accepted here and you're gonna be in

1250
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 3: Mount Laurel this week.

1251
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: Because you know, even thinking about the mentality of now

1252
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 1: you go from being celebrated everybody knows you, but then

1253
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: there's injury and it's like how much longer can we

1254
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: do this? And I know you even went through some

1255
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: things just to make sure that you could continue playing

1256
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,919
Speaker 1: as long as you did. But people have to also

1257
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: think about, well, now I'm gonna be like at home more.

1258
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 3: Girl, And let me tell you, I'm used to having

1259
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 3: my home life and doing my thing.

1260
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 4: And he was like, it's a package at the door.

1261
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 4: Don't find you something to do.

1262
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 5: Now.

1263
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 4: He's like, all in my manage today.

1264
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm like, man, I used to be able to just.

1265
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 4: You know and so, but the thing wasn't.

1266
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 3: My But my degree is in mass media arts, radio, TV, film,

1267
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 3: and so I have a producer's mind.

1268
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 4: And I've watched him.

1269
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 3: One day we were coming out of one of the

1270
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 3: games and he was interviewing with someone and I'm listening

1271
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 3: to him talking.

1272
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 2: I said, okay, yeah, I.

1273
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 4: Mean not that I thought it was a dumb jockey

1274
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 4: has a degree.

1275
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 2: I went to the hot sart of what you and

1276
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 2: he liked about it.

1277
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: But yes, but I it was just something in the

1278
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 3: way he was in awing and he was charismatic, and

1279
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 3: he was, but he was still informative and he was

1280
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 3: getting out what had happened and in.

1281
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 4: A creative way.

1282
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 3: That caught my attention because normally I'm like talking to

1283
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,080
Speaker 3: everybody else and ignoring whatever he's doing. And I just said,

1284
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, yeah. And so from that, it's

1285
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 3: just I knew that that would be a great segue

1286
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 3: for him because one, it keeps him in the.

1287
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 4: Sport, yep.

1288
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: But and he has that knowledge that inside and knowledge

1289
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 1: that that well, I think it's.

1290
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 5: First of all, I think so I was fortunate enough

1291
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 5: when I was interviewing with Fox right off, when I

1292
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 5: got out the field and I saw Sean Merriman, who

1293
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 5: I considered a friend and I played against Sean, and

1294
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 5: Sean had a lot going on.

1295
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 6: Man.

1296
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 5: He was in movies, he was on girlfriends, he was

1297
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 5: like different doing different spots, and he was just like, man,

1298
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,800
Speaker 5: as much as I got on, I remember, he was like,

1299
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 5: as much as I have got going on, I still

1300
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 5: miss ball. He's like, I'm because he was a football player.

1301
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,319
Speaker 5: Football players, no football players like I hate to say this.

1302
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 5: I know I get it scrutiny. You know, when you

1303
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 5: when you love something with that amount of passion and

1304
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 5: gritting your heart, you know you're okay with letting it,

1305
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 5: leaving it all right on the field and possibly never

1306
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 5: leave in the field, because you live in your passion

1307
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 5: and your dream, right And I felt like that, like

1308
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 5: whatever happened to me on the field, I was comfortable

1309
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 5: with because Gole.

1310
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 6: Had given me, had to answered my prayers. Right.

1311
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 5: I was the happiest I ever been leaving Pittsburgh on

1312
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 5: the South Side, with the leaves falling, with the with

1313
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 5: the steal of love on my chest was there.

1314
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:17,720
Speaker 6: Was so much pride.

1315
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,720
Speaker 5: I felt like I was I was serving a bigger purpose.

1316
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 5: I was birthed into an organization that believed and family

1317
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 5: and pride and history. So I was like, man like,

1318
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 5: I really was okay, you know, wearing a black and

1319
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 5: gold for the rest of my life and whatever that

1320
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 5: came with it. So when that's taken from you, there's

1321
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 5: a lot of ball players right now like Keisha and I.

1322
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 5: You know, God rest my brother in arms, Nick Mango,

1323
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,439
Speaker 5: who just passed from the New York Jets.

1324
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 6: You know, we were together at of service. But you

1325
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:46,319
Speaker 6: have guys.

1326
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 5: Who when they leave the field, man, there's a legit

1327
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 5: grieving process you go through because they your whole identity

1328
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 5: is wrapped around football, the team you played for, the

1329
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 5: community you serve, and how you.

1330
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 6: Proceed and how you proceed from the outside.

1331
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,359
Speaker 5: So the men to aspect of it, Like I said,

1332
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 5: I had a lot of opportunities, but I was grieving

1333
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 5: with football.

1334
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 6: I was grieving with you know. And now I lost

1335
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 6: my mom and my aunt and my uncle a couple

1336
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 6: of years later. So the mental aspect was.

1337
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,840
Speaker 5: Was a lot, man, But I was fortunate, not just

1338
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:16,720
Speaker 5: because I've had my faith that I had my wife,

1339
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 5: and I think we what we're doing with this book

1340
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,240
Speaker 5: and and all these interviews, we're trying to talk about

1341
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 5: our faith and how even when doors were closed, God

1342
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,280
Speaker 5: was really we'll still we're still paving a way opening

1343
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 5: doors for So.

1344
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: I'm about to go home and pray tonight.

1345
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 6: They may get it out. You get it out and

1346
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 6: come back to.

1347
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 4: You right now.

1348
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 1: And you also are the lifestyle colonists for Brown Style magazine,

1349
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: So congratulations at that.

1350
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 2: I know you're like a month in.

1351
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, So my second one will be coming out next week.

1352
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: Okay, I saw you talking about menopause and that's how

1353
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: we opened it up before the conversation today. But I

1354
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: do want to say such a powerful book. Thank you

1355
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 1: so much, so much, you know, listen, it was this

1356
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 1: was amazing for me to read though, And like you said,

1357
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: I do think it's important for people because you know,

1358
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 1: fertility Listen, like you said, there's going to be people who,

1359
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: you know, on the other side of it ended up

1360
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,239
Speaker 1: having to do something different. You know, you talked about

1361
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 1: the potential donor egg that you did not have to do.

1362
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:13,879
Speaker 2: I know people who had to do that.

1363
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: There's people who have been trying, like you said, you know,

1364
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: spending their life savings on trying to have kids. And

1365
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: you know, I just think it's important for people to

1366
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 1: not pass judgment when you don't know what someone's going through, right,

1367
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: you know, with that, so thank you so much for sharing.

1368
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: It is a love story, yeah, that is.

1369
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 5: It is a love story. That it is is based

1370
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 5: in faith. But I think for a lot of I

1371
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 5: think for a lot of couples who are like you know,

1372
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 5: I'm tired of his she's tired of mind. We said, well,

1373
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 5: we love each other, We're gonna figure it out well

1374
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 5: the way and that's what we did.

1375
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 2: So that's why they didn't like you all on Reality TV.

1376
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 4: You take it up with God.

1377
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 2: God know, you know what. The last thing I did

1378
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 2: want to say this too.

1379
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you guys went through so much much

1380
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 1: right to have your children.

1381
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it was always a.

1382
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: Process that now you're able to like finally not be

1383
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: having to you know, have sex at a certain time,

1384
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 1: or do the acupuncture or do this.

1385
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 3: I don't do the acupuncture anymore, but I'm having to

1386
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 3: do things for this mentopause that We'll come back and

1387
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 3: talk about that later.

1388
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: But I was just thinking about the toll that it takes,

1389
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: like timing wise, because that's like a full time responsibility.

1390
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 3: Now when you have kids, though, we still have to

1391
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 3: schedule it time and I have to think like, let

1392
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,920
Speaker 3: me get to my husband, let me we're day.

1393
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 6: Lovel let me. Yeah, we have our hours from twelve

1394
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 6: to two while the kids at school. We don't get

1395
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 6: it in and it ain't happening. And that's just the way

1396
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 6: it is.

1397
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 5: Because when the kids get home, we gotta feed them,

1398
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 5: we got to love them, we gotta.

1399
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 6: Do homework, we gotta get right the next day time

1400
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 6: I gotta get up. Yeah, So from twelve to two,

1401
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 6: and when our phones we don't pick up our phones,

1402
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 6: you know, will ain't not keep your fucking that's what

1403
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 6: we twelve to two, that's what we do, all right.

1404
00:58:56,880 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 5: Let them know right now those are hours to stay

1405
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 5: away from them ours.

1406
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 6: We cannot serve you. You're serving each other.

1407
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,439
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Faith and fertility. Make sure y'all

1408
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 1: pick it up. I love hearing your story.

1409
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 4: Thank you so much,