1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: I hate that this is the world that we live in. 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: We're fourteen year old is left with such a massive decision. Hey, everybody, 3 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast, episode one eighty. Thank you for 4 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: being here. We're gonna have some fun. Let's chat a 5 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: little bit. What I do here is I answer your questions. 6 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: You email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. I 7 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: walk through them. I answer them like two friends sitting 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: in the cab of a truck having a conversation. There's 9 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: nothing more to it. I don't have notes in front 10 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: of me, or a bunch of famous quotes or books, 11 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: or I haven't even prepped your emails. I just go 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: and cold into the inbox of Grangersmith podcast at gmail 13 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: dot com and we talked through some of this stuff. 14 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: So feel free email me. Could be about any subject. 15 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: Let's dive in. First question. Subdecline says traveling with discipline. 16 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: Email says, Hey Grange, I'm twenty seven years old. I've 17 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: travel nurse from Indiana. I work the night shift and 18 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: travel a lot. I've listened to all of your podcast 19 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: I often think about you talking about your discipline and 20 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: making your quiet time and the word priority when you 21 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: get up each day. What did this look like for 22 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 1: you when you first started this routine or how did 23 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: you make it a consistent discipline while traveling, doing a podcast, 24 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: doing shows, and all the other incredible things you do. 25 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: For me, the hardest part of starting a new contract 26 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: a new routine every three months is consistency. I found 27 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: it to be especially difficult since I also travel or 28 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: have friends and family that I visit in the midst 29 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 1: of my contracts in the new towns, and my schedule 30 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: is ever changing with work in the night shift. How 31 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: do you find consistency in such a go go go 32 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: lifestyle in constantly changing environments? And it says ps, I'm 33 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: excited to travel back and see you in my hometown 34 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: in Indiana and in April for my dad's birthday. My 35 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: whole family's looking forward to this. Thanks for the way 36 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: you live at your faith and discipleship. Well, thank you, Katie. 37 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: Excuse me, Kathy, Yeah, Kathy, you didn't say your name, 38 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: but I'm just reading enough for you, know, Kathy. Thank 39 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: you so much for the kind words and the encouragement, 40 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: and thank you for working the night shift. You are 41 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: one of those people in the third shift keeping America 42 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: rolling twenty four to seven. And you know my other 43 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: one of my other jobs is I'm a radio host, 44 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: an overnight radio host for a show called after Midnight 45 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: on iHeart, and I talk a lot to the third shifters. 46 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 1: So thank you for what you do, Kathy. Let's dive 47 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,639 Speaker 1: into your question. It's a good question, it's a solid question, 48 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: and there's a couple of ways to answer it. One 49 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: just broad stroke and then the other one is practically. 50 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: So let's start at the broad stroke, thinking broadly, just 51 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: a big general idea about what does it mean to 52 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: use your words to make your quiet time in the word, 53 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: what is it? What does it mean for your life 54 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: to do that? Let's think about it, just very very general. Okay, 55 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: if we are true disciples, if we are truly following 56 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: the first Commandment and seeking the Lord, our God first 57 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: above everything else, if we're doing that, and he says 58 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 1: that he speaks to us through his living breathing word, 59 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: it is our bread, is what we hunger for. Is 60 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,119 Speaker 1: it's what satisfies us beyond everything else that we could 61 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: possibly eat or drink, or enjoy or make or create ourselves. 62 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: Wouldn't you think if just looking from the outside in, 63 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: would you think we would make a priority over everything 64 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: to read his word daily, to have that quiet time, 65 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: to have that alone time when we could, we could, 66 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: we could pray and read every single day. Wouldn't you 67 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: think outside looking in? You know, so you're you're an 68 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: alien looking at this planet. And we said we worship 69 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: our Lord, our God above everything. And then they say, 70 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: well what do you do to do that? And you go, 71 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: well when I sometimes I have trouble making time for it. 72 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: The aliens would then say, well, then you're then He's 73 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: not not your lord. Your job is, your friends or 74 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: your family is, your kids are, your hobbies are, but 75 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: not God not because you have trouble making a priority. 76 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: So what if you looked at it that way? And 77 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: I'm not calling you out, I'm not calling anybody out. 78 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: I know what this is. I was, you know, I 79 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: lived in cultural Christianity for a long time. It sounds 80 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,040 Speaker 1: like you're not. It sounds like you're fighting against it. 81 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: Good for you. But what if you just looked at 82 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: it that practically, if you didn't really make time because 83 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: you didn't have time, or you weren't consistent about creating time, 84 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: then that would just simply reflect that you didn't care 85 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: as much as you say you do. So when I 86 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: came up with that mentality my head, that was a 87 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: real motivator for me. I was like, man, everything I'm 88 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 1: reading in here says that we need to trust him 89 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: above our own understanding, that we need to focus on 90 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: him things that are above, things that are unseen. We 91 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: need to focus on those things. And so in order 92 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: to do that, the very first step is making a 93 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: priority to do those things above everything. And so I 94 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,119 Speaker 1: had to make up my mind that nothing in my life, 95 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: not my wife, not my kids, not my job, not 96 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,799 Speaker 1: the most urgent appointment, is more important than my quiet time. 97 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: I had to make that commitment. I had to from 98 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: my own sanity. It also comes with a knowledge that 99 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: after so many years of being a busy guy, an entertainer, 100 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: a guy that's quote unquote in the spotlight. After so 101 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: many years, I've just learned that there's always another something. 102 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: There's always another something interview, There's always another important thing, 103 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: another important radio interview, another important late night show. You 104 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: got to be on, another important album or single, or 105 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: sermon or church whatever could let's go spiritual too, could 106 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 1: be could be there's always another sermon you got to 107 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: write there's always another church event you have to attend. 108 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. There's always something else. And yet sometimes 109 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: we live in a world where we think this one 110 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: is so important. I have to concentrate on this and 111 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: then I'll do the Bible thing, the reading. I'll do 112 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: that later, but not today. There's too many things that 113 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: get done today. You know. Martin Luther had an interesting quote. 114 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: He said, I have I'm totally paraphrasing, okay. Martin Luther said, 115 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: I have so much going on, it's gonna take me 116 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: weeks to pray through all of this. Right. So Martin 117 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: Luther was looking at it in terms of he had 118 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: he had so many hours in a day, and when 119 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: they were full, when they were busy, that means he 120 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: had to use more of those hours to pray for 121 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: all the other things that were keeping him busy, knowing 122 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: that he relied completely upon that prayer. Do we think 123 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 1: like that? Man? I don't. I try to. I want to. 124 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: I need to. It starts with a discipline, though, it 125 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: starts with getting my head straight. It starts it starts 126 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: with thinking nothing nothing is more important than this time 127 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: in the word okay. So that's the general broadchbook now 128 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: let's get practical. During my heavy cultural Christianity days, I 129 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: was into the self help movement. In fact, my brother 130 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: Tyler has corrected me, it's not grandeur, it's not. No 131 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: one says self help anymore. Now they say personal development. Okay. 132 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: So it was very into personal development, making myself better, 133 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: you know, trusting myself, getting myself right, getting my head right, 134 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: doing my meditation, you know, get getting my stuff straight 135 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 1: part of that. In that development, I read a book 136 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: called The Miracle Morning. In The Miracle Morning, it described 137 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: carving out time every morning, waking up before everyone else 138 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: and carving out time to do your self improvement, self help, 139 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: personal development things, and you could divide them up into 140 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: like ten minute segments. So say you get up an 141 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: hour earlier than you would have or an hour earlier 142 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: than everyone in the house, then you have five segments 143 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: of ten minutes ish to do stuff. Give or take 144 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: a few minutes here and there. You could have a 145 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: fifteen minute segment here, five minute segment here, are twelve 146 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: minute segment here. But it's about five four to six 147 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: segments of things you could do. So I had that 148 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:17,359 Speaker 1: divided up into like meditation, visualization, reading, some non fiction books, journaling, 149 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: listening to a podcast, breathing exercises. There's all kinds of 150 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: things that I could try here and there. When I 151 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: was reborn as a Christian, radically reborn, realizing the stuff 152 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: I talked about at the beginning about if we don't 153 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: have this stuff as a priority, then that it's not 154 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: a priority. When I realized that, I thought, well, cool, 155 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: here's what I'll do. I already have this this morning 156 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: set aside, that I'm doing this consistently. So instead of 157 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: all this stuff, the visualizations and the meditations and all 158 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: that stuff, I'll just replace it with my Bible reading. 159 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 1: It started out I was just reading the Bible, just 160 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 1: straight through, just just going, started at Matthew one, and 161 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: I would just read until, you know, for about forty 162 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: five minutes or an hour, they just keep going. Then 163 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: that after I did that a couple of times all 164 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: the way through, I started a plan which is a 165 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,719 Speaker 1: plan that I still do the same plan today. It's 166 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: called the McShane plan. It gets me through the Old 167 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: Testament once, the New Testament twice, and the Psalms twice 168 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: in one year. That helped me to keep track of 169 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: how far I was going, not reading too little, not 170 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: reading too much, reading the perfect amount, the Goldilocks amount, 171 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: and then being able to meditate on that word itself. 172 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: That McShane plan then replaced my miracle morning and it 173 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 1: became part of my routine. Then after that, knowing that 174 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: I here, it is here, I have a plan, this 175 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: is my time and the word I'm gonna pray, I'm 176 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: gonna read my McShane plan. After that, I'm gonna meditate. 177 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna find me what's something that sticks out to me, 178 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,719 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna post it on social media, and I'm 179 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: gonna post that verse and a quick thought about it 180 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: on social media, not so that I could show the 181 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: world that I'm reading, but to keep me accountable that 182 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: I'm concentrating on my reading, because I would get through 183 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: in what it is, it's four chapters a day. That's 184 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: how you get through the micshane plan. Four chapters a day, 185 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: and it assigns it for you in order, and somewhat 186 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 1: I would get through, and i'd be on the fourth 187 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: chapter and I would think, and it would be it's 188 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: typically like an old Testament, a New Testament, a Psalm, 189 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: a New Testament, something like that, and I would think 190 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: about the fourth chapter. Man, I don't know if I've 191 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: been focusing enough on what to post on social media. 192 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: So then I'd go back and start studying back again 193 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: what I read and recapping it. We're seeing me to 194 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: concentrate enough to make some kind of statement on social media. 195 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: So that's what I was doing it for myself, so 196 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: that I would force myself to concentrate, keep myself accountable. 197 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 1: Then you ask a question, that's keep me going, okay, 198 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: So then I needed to apply that to every morning, 199 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: to every single day of my life. I had to 200 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:30,199 Speaker 1: so for the last man probably three years. It's probably 201 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: probably been about three years since I missed a morning 202 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: of doing this. That's crazy, that's crazy. But yeah, it's 203 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: been you know, about a thousand days of doing this. 204 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: Never miss. I never miss. And I'm assuming you probably 205 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: have an idea that that I travel a lot, I've 206 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: got a lot of stuff going on. I've got a 207 00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: lot of I'm kind of pulled in a lot of 208 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: directions I get. I got a lot of emails, a 209 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: lot of different deadlines that I have to make. I 210 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: never miss my reading over a thousand days of it. 211 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 1: And I don't say that in any way to brag. 212 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: That is not what this conversation is about. Because it 213 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: is by God's grace alone that I return every morning 214 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 1: to that book. It's by God's grace alone that I 215 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: even have the craving at all to read the book. 216 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: It's by God's grace alone that I even wake up 217 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 1: a Christian every morning. It's like I wake up in 218 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: the morning, I'm like, still, I still love God, i 219 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: still want to read his word. I'm still a Christian. 220 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: That is not my own doing, because I am so 221 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: selfish and self righteous and sinful and wicked inside me 222 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: that if it was up to me, I would be 223 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: lazy and sleep in and move along and forget it 224 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: and not want to quote waste my time on something 225 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,559 Speaker 1: like that. So it is by God's grace alone that 226 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: I even wake up kneading, craving, hungry, thirsty, needing it 227 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 1: for me again, So this is not bragging. You see 228 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: what I mean? Okay, So even more practically than that, 229 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: when I'm in an airport, I do it in an airport. 230 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 1: Now if I sometimes my alarm has to go off 231 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: at three fifteen am because I have to be in 232 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: an airport shuttle at three point thirty, right, So I'm 233 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: not getting up at two fifteen to read the Bible. 234 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: See what I mean. If I'm getting up at three 235 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: fifteen to go to the airport, I'm not getting up 236 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: at two fifteen to read or do whatever. I'm gonna 237 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 1: get up at three fifteen. I'm gonna get I'm gonna 238 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: go straight to the brush, my teeth, get dressed, get 239 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: on the airport shuttle. But then when I get to 240 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: the terminal that morning, guess what I've got. I've got 241 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: an hour. So I've been sitting in the terminal. I 242 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: pop some headphones in to reduce distractions around me and 243 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: pull up my micshade plan. I do it on my 244 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: iPad so they don't have to have heavy books around. 245 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: I just got my iPad and I go to the 246 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 1: logos app, which is what I use, and my mcshaine 247 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: plan is loaded in there, and I hit read go 248 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: and it pulls up my next morning reading right away. 249 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: And then when I finish that chapter, I hit next 250 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: it pops up the next one. So part of that, 251 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: part of the reason I say that, is because it's 252 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: eliminating distractions, or it's eliminating things that would make me 253 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: possibly say I gotta skip this morning. I don't know 254 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: where I am, or I forgot my notes, or I 255 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: forgot my bi I left my Bible at home. Guess 256 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: what that logos app If I don't have my iPad, 257 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: It's also on my phone, my cell phone, and they're synced. 258 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: So I always have my phone. So if I forget, 259 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: if I'm in a place when I maybe my iPad's 260 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: out of battery or I don't, I'll have my backpack. 261 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: For whatever reason, I got my phone, so I read 262 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: it on the phone. I've done this on airplanes, trains, buses, shuttles, ubers, taxis, 263 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: amber driving while I'm reading. Most of my time is 264 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: actually in a hotel with a cup of coffee or 265 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: in my own home. But I never ever miss I don't. 266 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I've been, I've been. I was on a 267 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: mission trip recently and we had a lot of early mornings. 268 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: We'd get up super early, and I would I would calculate, 269 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: this is is it too early to get up before 270 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: that and read If it is, If the enters yes, 271 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: like I'm going to be exhausted during the day, then 272 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: I will read in the car that we get into 273 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: in the morning. There's always time. There's always time to 274 00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: do this. Worst case, it's one chapter in the morning, 275 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:05,159 Speaker 1: one chapter at the lunch break, one chapter in the afternoon, 276 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: one chapter in the evening. I could only name on 277 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: a few fingers how many times I've done that in 278 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,119 Speaker 1: a thousand days. But not many. But I've never missed. 279 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 1: That was a long answer. I'm so sorry, y'all, it 280 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: was like fifteen minutes. I'm passionate about that. Sorry, let's 281 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: hit another one. Uh subdecline here looking for guidance on 282 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: future in laws. Hey Granger, I'd like to stay anonymous. 283 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm eighteen years old Christian girl from a small town 284 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania. The problem is my boyfriend's father. He doesn't 285 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 1: believe in God and isn't fond of me for being 286 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: in the military, and he doesn't want me to bond. 287 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: He doesn't want to bond with me. He thinks I'm 288 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: gonna cheat on my boyfriend because he knows all about 289 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,919 Speaker 1: the military end quotes when he was because he was 290 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: in too a while ago. I don't know how to 291 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: talk to him with gracefulness without getting frustrated. Do you 292 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: have any suggestion? I love your music and podcast. Thank 293 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: you so much Anonymous. All right, Anonymous, let's dive into this. 294 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm a common question. You're not alone on this. It's 295 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: very common that I get some kind of email about 296 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: in laws, in your case, future in laws. So a 297 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,359 Speaker 1: couple of things. First, it's not your in law yet, 298 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: like you said, future in law. But since it's not 299 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: your in law yet, that drastically reduces the worrying about this. 300 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,199 Speaker 1: He's not your father in law yet, so if he was, 301 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: this would be a different answer and a different question. So, hey, 302 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 1: a little bit of stress is lowered here because you 303 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: aren't in the family. I say that, because things could 304 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: go south, you could end it with the boyfriend, and 305 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: then this was all a waste of worry. Don't waste 306 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: your worry on something that's not a worry yet. Okay, 307 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 1: you're only eighteen, by the way, I mean that's this 308 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,640 Speaker 1: is a lot to worry about for an eighteen year 309 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: old that probably shouldn't be worrying about this subject at all. Okay, 310 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: let's dive in deeper. He doesn't believe in God. That's 311 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: kind of irrelevant to this discussion. He isn't fond of 312 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: me for being in the military, because he was in 313 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:37,359 Speaker 1: is that that's a glaring problem that he had a 314 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: bad experience or he was bad, or he knew a 315 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: girl that was bad in the military, and he's projecting 316 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 1: that on you. Not your problem. And you can't control 317 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: what he thinks about the military. You can't convince him 318 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,880 Speaker 1: that you are different except for by your actions consistently. 319 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: That's That's a lot. It's a lot to ask from you. 320 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: Here's what here is. The thing that you can affect 321 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: is that the very last thing you said, I don't 322 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 1: know how to talk to him with gracefulness and without 323 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: getting frustrated. You know what the answer to that is, 324 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: then you don't talk to him. If you're like, but guy, 325 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: but I have to, granger, I have to. There's no 326 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,160 Speaker 1: wagon not talk to him. That would be rude. Limit 327 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 1: your words, then dig deep, don't get stuck in long conversations. 328 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: Didn't your grandma ever tell you if you can't say 329 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 1: something nice, don't say anything at all? Like that is? 330 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: That is such a famous grandma line, And I'm gonna 331 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: say it back to you. You say I don't know 332 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: how to talk to him with gracefulness and without getting frustrated. 333 00:20:55,520 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: I say, they don't talk to him. Don't that solves 334 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: the problem. Then you go put how do I do that? 335 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 1: You'd have to realize that you cannot control what comes 336 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,479 Speaker 1: out of his mouth. You cannot control how he is 337 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: with you, Harry responds to you, how he reacts to you, 338 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: how he thinks about you, how he lives in this 339 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 1: world with you. You can't control any of it. You 340 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 1: can only control how you react to it. You can 341 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: only control what comes out of your mouth, what comes 342 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 1: out of your heart, what comes out of your emotions 343 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: towards his son. That's all you can do. And so 344 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: if you're saying that you don't know how to do 345 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 1: it without grace, and you get frustrated, then I say, 346 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 1: don't speak. It's just as easy as that. And then 347 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: finally this, when it comes to in laws, I can 348 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: never have this discussion without saying this part. Remember, if 349 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 1: you think he's projecting on you that he doesn't like you, 350 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: it's because he loves his son. He wants the best 351 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 1: for his son. He doesn't love you yet, So can 352 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,919 Speaker 1: you see just a little glimpse into his world of 353 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: what it must be like desperately wanting his son to 354 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 1: be treated right, to not be cheated on to be respected, 355 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 1: to be loved by a future wife, and no matter 356 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,360 Speaker 1: who it is that's coming into the picture, he's not 357 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: going to trust them because he's had some bad experiences 358 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: in his life. It sounds like, so you have to 359 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: go into this and just remember this is out of 360 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: love for his son. He sounds like a good dad. 361 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 1: If he wasn't a good dad, if he did not care, 362 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: if he did not love his son, then he'd be like, 363 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: what's up. I don't care. Have fun, you're in the military. 364 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: Don't care you guys have fun, not my concern. And 365 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: you would say, your dad doesn't care about who you 366 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 1: date and your boyfriend goes Now he's never cared who 367 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 1: I date, or who I talked to or who loves me. 368 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,479 Speaker 1: And you would say, then he doesn't love you. But 369 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 1: the protective dad, the dad that says I don't trust 370 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: girls in the military, they could cheat on my son. 371 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: I don't know about I don't know how I feel 372 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 1: about this girl. Then you could confidently say dad loves 373 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: his son. Time to prove him wrong. Let's take a break. 374 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 1: You know, when you're going to a game, you don't 375 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: want to stress because usually you're so excited you're going 376 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,959 Speaker 1: to the big game. You got maybe your kids with you, 377 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: your friends with you. Everyone's kind of depending on you 378 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: to deliver, and so you don't want to stress over 379 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: how to find the tickets. And for sure you don't 380 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: want to get scalp for tickets. You don't want to 381 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: do that. Buying tickets to your favorite event shouldn't be stressful. 382 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy 383 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 1: tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater near you. 384 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 1: With killer deals on last minute tickets and the best 385 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: price guarantee, you can stop stressing over tickets and start 386 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 1: getting hyped up for the fun you're gonna have. I'm 387 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,440 Speaker 1: not that much of a planner, especially if I'm gonna 388 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 1: go to a game or big concert. I'm just not 389 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,719 Speaker 1: looking out six months ahead of time. I know some 390 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: of you guys doing God bless you for that, but 391 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm more of a you know, Lincoln says, hey, Dad, 392 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: you want to go to the Cowboy game on Saturday 393 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: or Sunday, and and I'm like, I don't know how 394 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: to find tickets. 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And you guys 412 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: have heard me talk about this on the podcast before. 413 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 1: But you know, therapy is always a way of deepening 414 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,479 Speaker 1: your self awareness and your understanding. And we go through 415 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,120 Speaker 1: this all the time on the podcast and we talk 416 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 1: and we say that I'm not a therapist. Did you 417 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 1: know you have one available to you? Because sometimes we 418 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 1: just don't know what we want or why we react 419 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 1: the way we do until we talk through things. Better 420 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 1: Help connects you with a licensed therapist who could take 421 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 1: on that journey with you, through that journey of self 422 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: discovery from wherever you are. It really helps to talk 423 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 1: through things, and maybe you're listening right now. You don't 424 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: have anyone to talk to about some of the issues 425 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 1: going on right now in your life. If you're thinking 426 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 1: about starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, 427 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: that's what's cool about it. Designed to be convenient, flexible, 428 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief 429 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: questionnaire and get matched with the licensed therapist and switch 430 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: therapist anytime at no additional charge. Discover your potential with 431 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: Better Help. Visit better Help dot com slash Granger today 432 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,200 Speaker 1: and get ten percent off your first month. That's better 433 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: h e LP dot com slash Granger. All right, back 434 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: to the podcast. Next question. If you want to email me, 435 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. The one next 436 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: on que subject, client says pregnancy after loss. Hey Granger, 437 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: and my husband and I had two miscarriages within our 438 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: first year of marriage. We then struggled through infertility for 439 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: nearly three years. I'm now sixteen weeks pregnant with our 440 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 1: little blessing, and I'm truly struggling to have faith that 441 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,919 Speaker 1: this one will work out for the best and that 442 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: we will actually meet this baby here on earth. How 443 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: can I release this fear and find joy in the 444 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 1: fact that we are pregnant with a healthy baby? God 445 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,640 Speaker 1: bless Anonymous from Michigan, Okay, Anonymous, great question. Thanks for 446 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 1: trusting me with something so vulnerable. Anytime I'm gonna deal 447 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: with pregnancy, I'm gonna say, first of all, I'm a man, 448 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 1: So case you couldn't tell through the video or my voice, 449 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: I'm a man and I don't know what it's like 450 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 1: to be pregnant. I'm just gonna throw that out there, 451 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,879 Speaker 1: So anything I say from here forward just keep that 452 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 1: disclaimer that should be obvious. But I want to say 453 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: it case I say something that you go he's offending 454 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 1: me because he has no idea. I don't. You're right, 455 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. But I'm going to talk from 456 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: the perspective of a father, and the perspective of a 457 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: father that has watched my wife go through miscarriage. And 458 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 1: infertility things and loss of a son. That's that's my perspective. 459 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: Let me let me say some stuff that might might 460 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: be borderline offensive. I think I feel confident that I 461 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: could speak with authority as to speak to you the 462 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 1: truth and not to sugarcoat like a twenty twenty three 463 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: modern politician might do. But it said, I believe that 464 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: I have enough life experiences to speak with authority on 465 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: this subject. Okay, Oh, that is just a big explanation. 466 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: Don't be offended. Here we go your question. I'm now 467 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 1: six weeks pregnant with our little blessing, and I'm truly 468 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 1: struggling to have faith that this will work out for 469 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: the best and that we will actually meet this baby 470 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: here on earth. You go on to say, how can 471 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: I release this fear and find joy in the fact 472 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 1: that we are pregnant with a healthy baby. Okay, maybe 473 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: you're not. Maybe you're not. I can't guarantee that you 474 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: will meet this baby or that this baby is healthy. 475 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,320 Speaker 1: I can't guarantee either one of those things, and neither 476 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: can you, and neither can a doctor. That sounds terrible 477 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:02,240 Speaker 1: to say on a podcast to a fragile woman who 478 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: is pregnant for the third time after two miscarriages, struggling 479 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: with infertility for three years, now sixteen weeks pregnant. You 480 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: want to hear encouragement. You want to hear people around 481 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: you just hugging you, saying, congratulations, this is for the best, 482 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: this is amazing, It's finally here. God's blessing is upon you. 483 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: That's what you want to hear. And I'm sure a 484 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: lot of people are around you telling you that, But 485 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the one guy that I'm gonna be 486 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: the one guy that says, none of this is guaranteed. 487 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 1: You're not guaranteed to have this baby. You're not guaranteed 488 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: that the baby is healthy. You're not guaranteed that the 489 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: baby will live past one year. Our three years, our 490 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 1: fifteen years, are thirty. That has nothing to do with 491 00:30:54,560 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: hoping and loving and trusting, having faith, has nothing to 492 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 1: do with those things. That's just the way the world. 493 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: The world is unpredictable. We have no idea. That's why 494 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,920 Speaker 1: Jesus says, do not worry about tomorrow. We only have today. 495 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: Today has enough trouble of its own. And so that's 496 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: what I tell you. I tell you the same thing 497 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: today has enough trouble of its own. Anonymous from Michigan 498 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: hear me enjoy today sixteen weeks pregnant. That is something. 499 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: You have a miracle growing inside of you. That is 500 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 1: just unbelievable, an unbelievable feeling that I will never know, 501 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: never never come close to understanding what it's like to 502 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: have a life growing inside of a body. That is 503 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: just the fact that it even happens. Ever, the fact 504 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: that a baby is born, ever is an absolute tremendous, 505 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 1: mind blowing miracle. But it happens a lot, and so 506 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 1: that miracle is numbed a little bit because there are 507 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: so many babies born, animals and butterflies and everything. There's 508 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: so many new creation births that it numbs the fact 509 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 1: that even one is incredible. So right now, the first 510 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 1: thing I would start with with you, it's just real realizing. 511 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: Put your hand right there, put your hand on your belly, 512 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:48,360 Speaker 1: and just go there is a little life form that's 513 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: been grown in here for sixteen weeks. That is amazing. 514 00:32:55,640 --> 00:33:01,960 Speaker 1: And you're not guaranteed for seventeen weeks or eighteen. But 515 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: that's not the point. The point is you have today. 516 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: You have today to enjoy it, and you have today 517 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: to dream about it and responsibly plan, like making a 518 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 1: nursery and painting the walls pink or whatever you're gonna 519 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 1: do for this little girl growing inside of you. Is 520 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: that what you said? Did you say the girl? Did 521 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: I just say that? Or did you say that? I 522 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: think I just pulled that out. Maybe it is a girl. Okay. 523 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: I don't want you to get discouraged in what I'm saying, 524 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: but I want to tell you this because that's the 525 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: foundation of understanding something. That's the greater picture of what 526 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: I want to tell you. The foundation of what I'm 527 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: trying to tell you is you are not in control, 528 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 1: not and if you're not, then you just cannot worry. 529 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 1: You said, how could I release this fear? How could 530 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 1: I release the fear? That your fear can be released 531 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: if you trust You're not in control? And God is? 532 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: You said. The only time you mentioned God is the 533 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: very end of your email, and it says God bless. 534 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 1: Do you know what that means? What does that mean? 535 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: What does it mean to you? God bless? You write 536 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 1: an email to me that is completely lacking any trust 537 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 1: of God's blessing at all? What if God's blessing is 538 00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: for you to experience sixteen weeks of pregnancy, but not seventeen. 539 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: It's not up to you. Would that be a bad 540 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,399 Speaker 1: thing to you? Yes, you're saying, yes it would. God goes, 541 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: I got a plan. Do you remember the first pregnancy? 542 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: You remember the second one? It wasn't supposed to be 543 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:23,600 Speaker 1: that way you were. Let me say that again. Yes 544 00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 1: you were supposed to have two miscarriages, but neither one 545 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: of them were supposed to be born. That's what I 546 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: was trying to say. The miscarriages that you had before 547 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: were not accidents, they were not mistakes, they were not 548 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 1: something that bad that happened. They were part of a plan. 549 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,359 Speaker 1: I'm trying to build this foundation for you. That just 550 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: says I'm not in control, and I know who is, 551 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 1: and I praise who is, and I think who is 552 00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: because I've got a little life form in my body 553 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:02,359 Speaker 1: right now that's growing sixteen weeks strong, and I have 554 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 1: nothing to do with it's life right now, but I 555 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,879 Speaker 1: know who does. And so then you just say, God, 556 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what your plan is 557 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:18,279 Speaker 1: with this baby, this baby number three. If you want 558 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 1: to take this baby, if it's up to you to 559 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 1: take this baby from me, then so be it. Let 560 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:32,919 Speaker 1: it be your will, not mine. John seventeen. He sat 561 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 1: in the garden. Jesus sat in the garden and prayed 562 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:42,160 Speaker 1: to the Father, Lord, take this cup from me. Father, 563 00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: take this cup from me. He says, I don't want 564 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,560 Speaker 1: to do it. I don't want to go through this, 565 00:36:54,200 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 1: but not my will. Right, this is you. We could 566 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,880 Speaker 1: all be in that garden in some sense. Well, I 567 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 1: don't want you to take this baby, but if you do, 568 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:13,440 Speaker 1: not my will, but yours be done. You start trusting 569 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 1: things like that, You start saying prayers like that, You 570 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 1: start meditating and thinking like that. Guess what happens. Your 571 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,319 Speaker 1: fear goes away. Guess what comes in to replace it, 572 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 1: the joy. That's the last thing you said in your email. 573 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 1: How could I release this fear and find joy in 574 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: the fact that we are pregnant with a healthy baby. 575 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 1: First of all, you don't know if it's a healthy baby. 576 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 1: You don't know that yet. You don't know that. You 577 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,160 Speaker 1: don't know that this baby's gonna come to term. But 578 00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 1: you just say, God, you have this baby in the 579 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: palm of your hand. You have this pregnancy in the 580 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,400 Speaker 1: palm of your hand. You have my future in the 581 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 1: palm of your hand. I have nothing to do with it. 582 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 1: But I trust you. You take this baby tomorrow. I 583 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,880 Speaker 1: trust you. You deliver a healthy baby to me. I 584 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,360 Speaker 1: trust you. You deliver a baby with a mental illness 585 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,319 Speaker 1: or a physical disability. I trust you. I trust you. 586 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,440 Speaker 1: I trust you. No matter what, I trust you, I 587 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: trust it. You will equip me. If I need to 588 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 1: raise a baby with a disability, You'll equip me for that. 589 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 1: If I'm gonna lose this baby, you will equip me 590 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 1: for that. If I'm gonna carry this baby to term 591 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: and then and then still birth, you will equip me 592 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 1: emotionally for that. But regardless, it's not up to me. 593 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,200 Speaker 1: It's up to you. I trust you, I trust you. 594 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:23,799 Speaker 1: I trust you. And when you start talking like that, 595 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:34,440 Speaker 1: your fear is gone. Let's move on. Congratulations. By the way, 596 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:42,840 Speaker 1: you're sixteen weeks pregnant. That's amazing. It's a miracle. Seven decline. 597 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: This next one says, should I confront them or not? Hey, grangeer, 598 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:50,360 Speaker 1: my name is Dorcas d R c As. I'm fourteen. 599 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,920 Speaker 1: I don't really know how to say this, but my 600 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 1: uncle has a past of sexual abuse. When he was younger, 601 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,440 Speaker 1: he was in a group home and sexually assaulted a girl. 602 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 1: I found this out through my sister a couple of 603 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 1: weeks ago. Since then, I don't feel comfortable around him 604 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,480 Speaker 1: unless my dad and my brother are with me. He 605 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,720 Speaker 1: made advances on my sister, but has stopped only because 606 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:18,799 Speaker 1: he's imitated, intimidated sorry by her new boyfriend. I also 607 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable knowing that my ten year old sister 608 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: is ignorant to this, and my parents are willingly let 609 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: letting her be around him without supervision. I've repeatedly said 610 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,759 Speaker 1: that she and I should not be left alone with him, 611 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,600 Speaker 1: and that I don't feel comfortable around him, but it 612 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,320 Speaker 1: just keeps happening. I also feel that a big reason 613 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 1: for them not taking action is their Amish background, and 614 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 1: the Amish people say just forgive and forget the past. 615 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 1: My parents have told me this over and over again. 616 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,880 Speaker 1: You say, I a always say I'm not sure what 617 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,399 Speaker 1: you mean here, but you say there's a different You say, 618 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: there's a different between forgiving and protecting yourself. I just 619 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,920 Speaker 1: need to know what to do. Grange or do I 620 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 1: confront them or just stay silent? All right? Dorcas, thank 621 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,280 Speaker 1: you for email. And I always think it's really special 622 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,479 Speaker 1: when a young teenager emails the podcast and that you're listening. 623 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 1: You've been listening through like like infertility and all this 624 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,359 Speaker 1: stuff we got going on in this episode. So if 625 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: you're still if you're still here and you're still listening, 626 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:30,799 Speaker 1: I just that's special and I appreciate you. Brother. Let's go. 627 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 1: Let's start at the end of your email. Here you're saying, 628 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,919 Speaker 1: there's a difference between forgiving and protecting yourself. Absolutely, there's 629 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:45,320 Speaker 1: a difference between forgiving and trusting. You can forgive someone 630 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,760 Speaker 1: and still not trust them, right, Does that make sense? 631 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: You're right protecting yourself, same thing forgive, but you don't 632 00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 1: have to trust rattlesnake bites me. I could forgive the 633 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 1: rattlesnake for instinctively biting me because I went near the rocks, 634 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 1: but I don't have to trust that the Rattlesnak's not 635 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,919 Speaker 1: gonna bite me again. That's ridiculous. Humans are the same way. 636 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: Forgiving and trusting are two different things. We gotta get 637 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 1: that straight. We are commanded to forgive, we're supposed to forgive. 638 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 1: We need to forgive for many reasons. One of them 639 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:29,680 Speaker 1: is for our own healing, our own joy. Okay, we 640 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: need to forgive for our own healing, but that does 641 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,960 Speaker 1: not mean we need to trust them moving forward with 642 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,719 Speaker 1: the same problems. Okay, Gotta say that, Gotta know that, 643 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:46,080 Speaker 1: gotta believe that. Okay, you should never forsake forgiveness because 644 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 1: you don't trust someone, and you should never forsake trusting 645 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: someone because you need to forgive them. Okay, got to 646 00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 1: make that clear. Second of all, you've got an uncle 647 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:08,120 Speaker 1: history of sexual abuse. You say, I don't feel comfortable 648 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,799 Speaker 1: knowing my ten year old sister is ignorant to this. 649 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,080 Speaker 1: My parents are willingly let her, letting her be around 650 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:16,560 Speaker 1: and without supervision. That's a problem, is a major problem. 651 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna sum up this email to you, Dorcas, 652 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:24,000 Speaker 1: by saying, I'm gonna answer your very last question. I 653 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,240 Speaker 1: just need to know what to do. Do I confront 654 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:36,880 Speaker 1: them or stay silent. I hate that this is the 655 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:42,479 Speaker 1: world that we live in where a fourteen year old 656 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:48,640 Speaker 1: is left with such a massive decision. But I'm gonna 657 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,360 Speaker 1: tell you this, Dorcas. I'm gonna tell you this, and 658 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: this is this is something that without really thinking about 659 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 1: it without really going down this path. It's hard because 660 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,279 Speaker 1: this is one of these questions that I might an 661 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,319 Speaker 1: hour might go by and I might say I might 662 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,359 Speaker 1: have a different answer once I really think about it. 663 00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,879 Speaker 1: Because I don't have notes, I don't prepare for this, 664 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,440 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna say the first thing that comes to 665 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:17,280 Speaker 1: my mind is this, if you cannot trust your parents 666 00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,840 Speaker 1: for dealing with this issue, the right way and the 667 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:26,640 Speaker 1: right way is confronting the uncle, stopping the bleeding. Right, 668 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 1: we need a tourniquet on the leg before it bleeds out. 669 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,000 Speaker 1: We have an open wound, Okay, so we need the 670 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:37,080 Speaker 1: parents to confront. If they're not going to do that, 671 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,719 Speaker 1: and you seem to say that they're not. If they're 672 00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 1: not going to do it, the other thing for you 673 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:49,560 Speaker 1: to do is call the police. You could call nine 674 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:55,719 Speaker 1: to one one totally. I've got friends that are dispatchers, 675 00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 1: that are emergency dispatch. This is not something that they 676 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,760 Speaker 1: would take lightly. This is not something they would say, Oh, 677 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,760 Speaker 1: if the house isn't burning down, then why'd you call us? Dorcas, 678 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 1: this is something you go Hey, my name is Dorcas. 679 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old. My uncle is sexually abusing people 680 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,240 Speaker 1: in my family and my parents are not doing anything 681 00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,400 Speaker 1: about it, and you're going to feel like a trader. 682 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,560 Speaker 1: You're gonna feel like you are ratting people out. In fact, 683 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: if you don't want to do it on the phone, 684 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,720 Speaker 1: you can go in somewhere, you can meet with someone. 685 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:33,440 Speaker 1: But this needs to be out. This is life damaging 686 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 1: type stuff that this predator is out right now and 687 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:45,759 Speaker 1: could possibly find a victim in your own sister, ten 688 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,839 Speaker 1: year old sister. I've got an eleven year old daughter. 689 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,880 Speaker 1: If you don't feel comfortable and you're fourteen and no 690 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,680 Speaker 1: offense do orcas, but you haven't fully developed yet and 691 00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:03,200 Speaker 1: you feel uncomfortable, well that's a red flag because you 692 00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,400 Speaker 1: would also have the excuse of just being ignorant to 693 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,640 Speaker 1: it and just not really man, I didn't really see it. 694 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,960 Speaker 1: I was fourteen. When I was fourteen, I was dumb though, 695 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 1: because me grangeer, I was dumb. So the fact that 696 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:16,600 Speaker 1: you see this that means it's very obvious and you're 697 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,319 Speaker 1: protecting your little cis that's a big deal, and this 698 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,680 Speaker 1: is a big problem. Don't downplay this, don't take this lightly. 699 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,759 Speaker 1: I'd call the police. If you can't trust your mom 700 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,640 Speaker 1: and dad, because my first thought would be go to 701 00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: your mom and dad, and maybe you do that first. 702 00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know them. I don't know 703 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,440 Speaker 1: how much they defend the uncle. I don't know how 704 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 1: much they defend the situation, or if they're based too 705 00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 1: much on shame, Like, don't shame our family, don't make 706 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:47,920 Speaker 1: this public, don't bring shame upon us by bringing this public. 707 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,360 Speaker 1: Let's just keep it hush hush, sweep it under the rug. 708 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 1: If they're like that, and you know they're like that, 709 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:54,840 Speaker 1: then you got to go outside and you got to 710 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,960 Speaker 1: go to police, and you also have to know that 711 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 1: they might be mad at you. Is going to take 712 00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:04,640 Speaker 1: extreme courage. But let me ask you this, This is 713 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:12,120 Speaker 1: what it all comes down to. Is your sister worth it? 714 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,719 Speaker 1: Is your ten year old sister worth it? Because this 715 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,279 Speaker 1: is something that will affect the rest of her life, 716 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,279 Speaker 1: It's something that becomes generational. Is something that affects her 717 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 1: kids and her grandkids and her choice and a husband. 718 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:40,160 Speaker 1: Is she worth it to you? Appreciate you guys. We'll 719 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 1: see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the 720 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,799 Speaker 1: Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You 721 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,680 Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. 722 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,040 Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that 723 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,479 Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never 724 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,960 Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a 725 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:00,960 Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer, 726 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:06,120 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye