1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate for everybody that your new 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: book is available now. Real Life, Real Family. You guys 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: caused a lot of stir with Real Life Real Love, 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: I think, being very honest, a lot of group chats 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: were buzzing as you were writing this book. Did you 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: already know which pieces? Did you look at each other 7 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, they're going to be talking about 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: this certain sections. 9 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 2: Not really real life Real Love. We didn't. I didn't 10 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: expect to pick up like it was. 11 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 3: We would just being vulnerable and honest, like we were 12 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 3: talking about everything that we went through as a couple, 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 3: whether it was our sex life or infidelity or whatever 14 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 3: it was raising kids. The first time we met, we 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 3: were just being real. So when things picked up, it 16 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 3: was like, oh, because we talk about these things on 17 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 3: the podcast, so it was like, we do a podcast, 18 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 3: but we realized that there's a whole other side of 19 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 3: the world that necessary didn't listen to our podcast. And 20 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 3: when things picked up, you know, people made jokes, may 21 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 3: you know fund of me for a little bit, But 22 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 3: we did it to get those people that were like, 23 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 3: you know, we're in a relationship and this book helped 24 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 3: us or that conversation opened up a relationship in our household. 25 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: So that's why we kind of are so vulnerable. 26 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: Oh and I think I applaud you for that. Shack 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: always says, you know, not to take yourself too seriously, 28 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: be okay to laugh at yourself, but like being real 29 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: is the only thing that actually matters, And so you 30 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: guys were able to do that. Was there any part 31 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: of this book, Gia, where you said maybe we shouldn't 32 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: put this in? Was did that ever come up? 33 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 4: Not in this book, but in real life, real love. 34 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 4: There were many many topics that we said, this might 35 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 4: not be for public consumption. But just like Shack said, 36 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 4: it's like we had to get over ourselves in a sense, 37 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 4: because when you're writing a book, when you're sharing with 38 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 4: the masses, there's no value there whatsoever. If you're not transparent, 39 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 4: if you're not authentic, if you're not real, if you 40 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 4: don't tell the complete, unadulterated truth, there's no value there 41 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 4: because if you wrap everything up and put it in 42 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 4: a pretty package and put a bow on it, who 43 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 4: can relate to that? At that point? It's not relatable. 44 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,519 Speaker 4: It's not something that a person that might be in 45 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 4: a similar situation can look at and say I get it, 46 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 4: and I'm not the only one, And now how did 47 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 4: they get over it? Because that's what I need to know. 48 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 4: How did they get through it? How did they navigate that? 49 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 4: That's what I need to know, because for the person reading, 50 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 4: they're probably too embarrassed to share it with their family, 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 4: their friends, or they don't know how to ask, or 52 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 4: you know, there's a lot of things that are a 53 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 4: little untouchable that we touched and it really did put us, 54 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 4: like you said, probably in a lot of group chats 55 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 4: and whatnot, and we did get bombarded, but there was 56 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 4: value there. I mean, we were on vacation, we were 57 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 4: in Turks and Caicos and a family. It was two 58 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 4: parents and three kids. They came up to us and 59 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 4: they're like, Oh, you're Giah, you're Envy. Oh my gosh, 60 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 4: it's so nice to meet you. I just want to 61 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 4: let you know that you saved our marriage. Your book 62 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 4: saved our marriage. If it wasn't for your book, we 63 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 4: wouldn't be sitting here on this vacation as a family. 64 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 4: We were headed to divorce and at that point, everything 65 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 4: that we were bombarded with, it didn't matter who cares. 66 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 4: You know, when you put parts of you out there 67 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 4: that can transform or alter people's lives in a good way, 68 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 4: you don't care about all the naysayers or people that 69 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 4: have fun with it, because the reason why you wrote 70 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 4: the book isn't about that. 71 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 5: So speaking of the naysayers when you heard all the nonsense, 72 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 5: does that upset you? Because I got people in my 73 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 5: family that they be in the comments ready to kill 74 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 5: some people. 75 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 3: No, we got family members and friends that want to attack. 76 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 3: But you realize that me who cares. So one of 77 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 3: the conversations was, I tell everybody all the time when 78 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 3: I first met I never had a sex conversation with 79 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 3: my dad, right, So when I met Gian and the 80 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 3: first time we were getting intimate, my sex conversation came 81 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 3: from porn. 82 00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 5: Right. 83 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: So you think you got to smash it all out, 84 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 3: and I'm you know, going in that's sorry, just like 85 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 3: you going hard, right, But you realize it was in 86 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 3: the book, it was out go ahead. 87 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: But you but that's the truth, right, You think you 88 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 2: gotta be a man, didn't go for everyone? 89 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 5: When you get home to clouds together like that pillow 90 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 5: and take your right to the couch. 91 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 3: So that's what you think and then you realize. You know, 92 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 3: we got into an argument one time. My mind, you've 93 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: been together thirty one years. We get into the argument and. 94 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 2: My wife's howl. 95 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 3: At the time we were young, twenty three, yeah, twenty three, 96 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 3: twenty four. We get into an argument and my wife says, well, 97 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 3: that's why I never had an orgasm. 98 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 4: Through sex, through sex intercourse, and. 99 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 2: Bro, I was crushed. I was hurt, like I'm out 100 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 2: of TI. 101 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's tough. 102 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 3: So I had to after that conversation, we had to 103 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 3: actually learn each other's bodies and I had to learn 104 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 3: her body and learn what it was. But at first 105 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 3: it was difficult. So when I put this in the book, 106 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 3: that was the thing that was trended. You know, they 107 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 3: they started to go for me, poor gea hashtag. 108 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 4: But you know, but wait, I do have to correct something, 109 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 4: and this might be valuable for a lot of men 110 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 4: to know, and a lot of women as well. I 111 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 4: wasn't having an orgasm through intercourse because of me. It's 112 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 4: not because he watched porn and he was hawd you 113 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 4: put it, smashing it all out? Is that. Yes, it's 114 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 4: not because of that. It's because I was young. We 115 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 4: were fifteen and sixteen when we met. We waited one 116 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 4: year to the day for me to lose my virginity, 117 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 4: and we were novices. I didn't know my own body, 118 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 4: and I was so busy wanting to be insatiable for 119 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 4: him and wanting to perform, and you know, thinking of 120 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 4: women as sex objects, because that's how it's presented to 121 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 4: you in the media at the time of the time. 122 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 4: It wasn't social media, but just in the media on billboards, 123 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 4: women are supposed to be sexy and play things for men, 124 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 4: and that's how I interpreted sex. So I was so 125 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 4: busy being concerned with him that I neglected myself and 126 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 4: my own needs. It was because of me, and you 127 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 4: don't do much too different now it's the same thing. 128 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 4: It's that I'm in touch with my own mind. I 129 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 4: know what I like, and I'm concentrating more on the 130 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,160 Speaker 4: love that I have for him and the intimacy, and 131 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,160 Speaker 4: that's what leads me to orgasm. So really, it was 132 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 4: never it was never you. 133 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 5: It was never you Blue, all right, switch the subject. Bro. 134 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 5: Your book Real Life, Real Famous about raising kids was confident. 135 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 5: So what's the main thing you teach your kids about 136 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 5: being confident? 137 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 3: There's many different things that The first thing in this 138 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 3: day and age, and I'm sure that at any farther 139 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 3: in here it deals with it is social media. 140 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 5: Right. 141 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 3: People like to get validated through social media, and we 142 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: make sure that our kids are validated at home. We 143 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 3: make sure that they have that feeling at home. If 144 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 3: they're looking for the outside world to validate your kids, 145 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 3: they're gonna validate them in a way that you don't want. 146 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 3: That's what it causes anxiety, depression, suicide and all that. 147 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 3: So we make sure that our kids know that there's 148 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 3: a safe place. 149 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 2: To land at home. It sounds corny, it sounds crazy. 150 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 3: But what we did as a family with our six 151 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 3: kids is we created kind of like a mission statement. 152 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 3: Now when I say missions statement, I don't think it's 153 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 3: like it's on the door, like you got to read 154 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 3: it every time you come in. But it's a policy 155 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 3: that we put in a play that we all talk 156 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: about so that we're all comfortable and I'll just read 157 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 3: it real fast. 158 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 2: So one is we are a unit, right, we are 159 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: the case crew. We ride with each other. 160 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 3: The other is we respect each other no matter what argument, 161 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 3: whatever happens in our house. 162 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 2: We respect each other. 163 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 3: We always uplift each other and point out the good 164 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 3: in one another. No matter what somebody's going through the pain, 165 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: we always make sure that they feel good. They have 166 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 3: their heads raised at all times. We represent each other 167 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 3: at all times. If my kids is outside at your house, 168 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 3: at Shack's house, Shack better call me and say, yo, 169 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 3: your kids are the most respectable. They have manners, they 170 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 3: say thank you, They offer to Washington dishes. They want 171 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 3: us to take out the trash. We're rooted in family, 172 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 3: fun and faith. We pray every day, we have fun 173 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 3: every day. We are a family. And the last, which 174 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 3: is probably the most important, is we are each other's 175 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 3: off place to land. No matter what goes on in 176 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 3: this world, what happens, there is a no judgment zone 177 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 3: in our household. So when our kids come home, whatever happened, good, bad, indifferent, 178 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 3: you know that you can come here and mom and 179 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,679 Speaker 3: Dad will fix it. Don't go to the outside world 180 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 3: for help. Come home first and let's fix it together. 181 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 3: So that's pretty much what we do to make sure 182 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 3: our kids are strong, confident and empowered. 183 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 4: And instilling a strong sense of self identity, you know, 184 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 4: because that's where a lot of people not just children 185 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 4: are lost when you don't know who you are and 186 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 4: where you come from. When you leave the house, you're 187 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 4: leaving it up to people outside to tell you who 188 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 4: you are and who you should be. And that's an 189 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 4: essence and insecurity that a lot of people carry around 190 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 4: they don't even know that they have, and that's where 191 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 4: you wind up being taken advantage of, misled, overlooked, and 192 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,079 Speaker 4: left to kind of feel insignificant. So we want our 193 00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 4: kids to know you come from something meaningful. This home 194 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 4: is meaningful. The opinions of the people within these walls 195 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 4: are meaningful because we are the people that love you. 196 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 4: We're not the people that are jealous of you. We're 197 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,440 Speaker 4: not the people that are going to hate on you. 198 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,959 Speaker 4: We're not the people that are going to root for 199 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 4: your downfall. We're the people that love you. So we're 200 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 4: the only people that matters. Your teachers don't even matter 201 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 4: your teachers. If your teachers tell you something good that's wonderful, 202 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,719 Speaker 4: come home, let's talk about it and we'll back it up. 203 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 4: But sometimes there are teachers that don't even want the 204 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 4: best for you. Whatever you get from the outside, you 205 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 4: bring it home and let us confirm it. 206 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 5: Basketball fans is win or go time. 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