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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. His podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These You need help, you're the problems. Come on, come

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Speaker 2: do go cleab, take a pill. I think you're insane.

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Speaker 2: Do what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. Nick

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Speaker 2: head sex with his mind back. Just kidding. We're having

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Speaker 2: a camera, off camera discussion about sex, which we have

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Speaker 2: to stop because none of us have any Well, Nick

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Speaker 2: kind of probably does.

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Speaker 3: I'm out there fucking yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well we can get it. That's why I learned

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Speaker 2: that from my friend Bobby, who's half black. He uh,

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Speaker 2: if somebody's hot, they go he can get it. I

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Speaker 2: love that, and you know some people can get it, dude.

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Speaker 3: He's well.

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Speaker 4: We went to go see h Titanik, Yes there was.

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Speaker 4: One of the leads in the show was like a

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Speaker 4: like a short Italian guy from Staten Island.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Tommy, very.

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Speaker 4: Handsome, and Bobby was sitting next to me, and Bobby

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Speaker 4: leans in and he goes, I love me a short can.

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Speaker 3: And I started laughing so hard. He's so fun.

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Speaker 2: Look him up, Tommy Bracco, b R A C c O.

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Speaker 2: He can get it, he can get it.

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Speaker 3: I splits it full splits.

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Speaker 2: Splits and on a short king. That's a talent, you know.

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Speaker 5: Oh.

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Speaker 2: By the way, I'm Lisa, how are you baby? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're here with Shrink This and we're doing a little

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Speaker 2: tiny episode for you this week while we killed time

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Speaker 2: until season two in January, and we revisit episodes weekly

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Speaker 2: to see what we missed. So the episode we are

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Speaker 2: going to now is one that I loved because it

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Speaker 2: was fully yelling at Nick almost the whole time. It

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Speaker 2: was called Tea and Sympathy and Penis jokes because it's

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Speaker 2: about deflecting with humor, which, by the way, since taping

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Speaker 2: that episode, Nick has stopped deflecting with humor as much

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Speaker 2: like I feel like I'm not going to applaud it

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Speaker 2: because it would encourage you to go back. He's gotten

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Speaker 2: more where he can sit with the serious topic and

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Speaker 2: leave a tender moment alone. As Billy Joel said, So, Nick,

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Speaker 2: have you actually worked on that. I mean, I do know.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait once it was pointed out to you by

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Speaker 2: me and I'm sure multiple others that you just deflect

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Speaker 2: with humor. Do you rein it in a little now?

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Speaker 4: I think it just depends where I am and what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: There are moments where I'm like, I will catch myself

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Speaker 4: maybe and I'll be like, I'm be like I too

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Speaker 4: much right now, Like I'll ask people around me, this

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Speaker 4: is too much?

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Speaker 2: And do they ever be honest like I was?

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Speaker 4: It depends I think everyone when I'm around, if I'm

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Speaker 4: being honest, everyone's having so much fun that they don't

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Speaker 4: really care. Like at work it's like welcomed, like no

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Speaker 4: one really cares. There are moments where I'm like, I

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Speaker 4: have to focus now in this meeting, right, pay attention.

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Speaker 2: But like, but like I imagine at a wedding, you're a blast.

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Speaker 4: I'm the fucking center of attention.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I had me. Yeah it's yeah, it's never

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Speaker 2: the groom. Yeah, because I had to miss our friend

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Speaker 2: Bo's wedding. From what I hear tell though, you were

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Speaker 2: a phenomenal success.

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Speaker 4: We had fun. Man, I love weddings so much. I

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Speaker 4: was there you know, like those glow sticks they give

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Speaker 4: you a wedding is like the thing I pretended to

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Speaker 4: suck them like dicks.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's real funny.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't even know if what's the last time

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Speaker 4: you sucked to dix?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Celia? Oh by the way, also here is Celia

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Speaker 2: at Celia underscore. So, so when is the last time

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Speaker 2: you sucks a glows stick?

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Speaker 3: A glow stick a real penis?

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Speaker 2: I'm not telling you that.

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Speaker 5: Wh No, that's the thing, y'all said.

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Speaker 2: We y'all, yeah, we did.

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Speaker 3: We go in Gumbok the night before.

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Speaker 2: You guys.

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Speaker 5: You guys said you were like, oh, because none of

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Speaker 5: us are having any what if I just don't tell

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Speaker 5: you any of my business?

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Speaker 2: Well, you're you're having sex with who? Again?

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Speaker 5: What if I just don't tell you?

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Speaker 2: I don't understand why you wouldn't though.

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Speaker 5: Because I'm weird.

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Speaker 2: I'm weird about that.

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Speaker 3: You're worried about a few things.

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Speaker 2: Bitch, Yeah, that's the list. This is true. This is true.

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Speaker 5: I was who, I don't.

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Speaker 4: Tell All right, when's the last time you have to

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Speaker 4: say names? Six months ago?

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Speaker 5: Listen to this, So.

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Speaker 2: What you did your mom sucked a few dicks? I

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Speaker 2: mean got don't want any.

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Speaker 4: Chance, and you know I can't have a baby from oral,

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Speaker 4: but we'll teach you that later.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this show has turned into sex.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's probably.

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Speaker 2: Let's write the course. Let's make us more about some depth. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So Dick, no, oh yeah, deflecting with you were which

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Speaker 2: we just did.

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Speaker 3: Justice, don't do that at home.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that at home. Let your man or woman

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Speaker 2: or child have your serious attention. Now go Nick.

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Speaker 4: Okay, god, so our first letter. Yes, dear Lisa, I'm

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Speaker 4: a thirty five year old comic.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, just quit die kill yours.

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Speaker 4: I'm a thirty five year old comic and you have

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Speaker 4: always been one of my heroes.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's about time there's a compliment. It's been weeks.

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Speaker 4: My act is basically me making fun of myself. Oh

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Speaker 4: my looks, my poor judgment, my inability to meet a

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Speaker 4: guy ce Celia. Lately, after shows, even if I do well,

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Speaker 4: I feel like shit. Oh you're kidding. Do you think

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Speaker 4: constantly making fun of myself on stage is damaging? Thanks

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Speaker 4: Victoria in Austin, Texas.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's deep, because I think because it sounds like

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Speaker 2: it's so constant, and because it's just the truth that

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Speaker 2: words have power. If you're constantly telling yourself you're a

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Speaker 2: piece of shit, that's gonna not go well. I think

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Speaker 2: what would be great if she could get some help

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Speaker 2: and figure out how to not really believe those things

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Speaker 2: about herself so she could say it. In other words,

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Speaker 2: I could make a billion jokes about myself being stupid,

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Speaker 2: and because I know it's not true, it wouldn't hurt me.

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Speaker 2: I could walk off the stage of guy fucking take

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Speaker 2: the money and run who gives a shit? Or make

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Speaker 2: jokes about me being not funny, like duh, I'm funny.

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Speaker 2: It's fine. But if say it was an issue that

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Speaker 2: really bothered me, like something that I go, oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: a shitty What am I bad at?

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: No one here can think.

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Speaker 4: Of anything, honestly, nothing, No email us this show.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 2: Suppose it was at a time where I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm a failure because I'm a terrible uh sister or

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Speaker 2: aunt or.

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Speaker 3: Daughter.

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Speaker 2: Suppose I was at that point in my life that

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Speaker 2: I felt those things. I would get off that stage

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Speaker 2: and feel like I wanted to eat a gun. So

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Speaker 2: I don't blame her. I think she needs to work

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Speaker 2: on the internal If she wants to keep the jokes,

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Speaker 2: but there's no way to not work on that and

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Speaker 2: keep doing those jokes. Yeah, it's never worth it to

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Speaker 2: feel bad after a show.

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Speaker 4: Never, absolutely. I mean this is actually we talked about this.

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Speaker 4: I can't remember last night, night before or whatever, but

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Speaker 4: I remember when I when I was, you know, in

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Speaker 4: the beginning of comedy, I had I wanted to talk about,

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Speaker 4: like sometimes you get a little like high Horsey, like

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Speaker 4: I want to make like for me, it was like

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Speaker 4: make my mom dying funny. I want to make how

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Speaker 4: my grandmother died funny. Like I would write jokes like

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Speaker 4: she was in a car accident, and I would be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna make this a funny thing, right, And I

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Speaker 4: told you that, and you were like, sure, you can

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Speaker 4: make that stuff funny, but like you need to be

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Speaker 4: okay with it or first and foremost, the audience is

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Speaker 4: going to tell that you're not okay yep, and they're

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Speaker 4: gonna be like that it might bother you as well.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, right, yeah, like dirty.

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Speaker 4: He's like, if you're cool with it, great, Yeah. I say,

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Speaker 4: I'm bald and have tits on stage all the time,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like it doesn't affect my anything. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: if I were to talk about deep shit like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's like they that thing about they say,

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Speaker 2: write from your scars, not from your wounds. If it's not,

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Speaker 2: it's still an open wound. You can't talk about it. It

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Speaker 2: has to be processed by you done. That's why people

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Speaker 2: wait to write the book until they're ready. So like

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Speaker 2: Elizabeth Gilbert's new book not new anymore, but a couple

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Speaker 2: of months ago, came out with a book called All

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Speaker 2: the Way to the River about her codependency and love addiction.

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Speaker 2: She had to be five years sober from it to

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Speaker 2: be able to talk about it, right, And it's deep

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Speaker 2: because of that because she's not talking from the Liz

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Speaker 2: Gilbert who's like on the floor in the bathroom going

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Speaker 2: oh my god, like how can I live without this man?

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Speaker 2: How can I uh not call that person out of codependency.

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Speaker 2: It's like not solved because once an addict, always an addict.

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Speaker 2: But at least it's she didn't have time that she

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Speaker 2: can put that behind her. Yeah, there's autobiographies about you know,

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Speaker 2: you know, rape or sexual assault, and then they can

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Speaker 2: do it. But after it's a little bit more processed,

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Speaker 2: so they're not gonna kind of go off the rails internally.

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Speaker 2: And that's what it sounds like, this poor woman's doing. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and also where names what Victoria? And also like you're

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Speaker 2: a woman comic. How funny can you be? I mean

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Speaker 2: there's no but rarely are they.

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Speaker 3: You don't even have one mortgage?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I have like twenty seven and they're all paid. All right,

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Speaker 2: it's wow. Listen, Okay, Like suppose like I had lost

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Speaker 2: all my money like a Bernie made off or something

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Speaker 2: until I process that like shame because you know, they'd

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Speaker 2: be shame involved with like investing with the wrong person

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Speaker 2: or oh my god, I'm such an idiot? How do

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Speaker 2: I do that? And my parents taught me to be

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Speaker 2: good with money. I couldn't talk about it on stage

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Speaker 2: if that had happened too soon. Have you ever actually

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Speaker 2: gone on stage with something too soon in front of

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Speaker 2: an audience.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I think I've been pretty cautious and

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Speaker 4: like protectful of myself when it comes to that. I

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Speaker 4: really haven't. No, I don't think I have. You know,

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Speaker 4: there are audiences where I'm like, uh, like I had

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Speaker 4: this bit where I was like you know, I'm single,

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Speaker 4: I'm the last single my friend of my friend group, and.

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Speaker 2: People go, oh, I hate when they do that projected

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Speaker 2: feeling sorry for it.

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Speaker 3: Fuck, that's not like a thing that what are we doing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's like I'm good with it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like it's okay. But yeah, I think it

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Speaker 4: just depends. No, I haven't really gone on stage.

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Speaker 3: I did. I did one joke.

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Speaker 4: About my mom, but it was it was a It

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Speaker 4: was from the point of view if I went on

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Speaker 4: a date with a girl and she sensed that I

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Speaker 4: was talking around my mom being dead, and she sensed

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Speaker 4: it and she did like a funny hand motion of

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Speaker 4: like she's like, did your mom And she went.

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Speaker 2: Like this, oh, like rise to heaven?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, that's the funniest, Like that

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Speaker 4: was funny enough where I could talk about it.

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Speaker 3: Right, Celia's disgusted by it.

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Speaker 5: That's really funny, don't.

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Speaker 2: Well, they're not dating anymore, so you I think too.

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Speaker 2: It's that whole thing about like when a friend, when

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Speaker 2: you know it's time has passed enough to joke with

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Speaker 2: them about something that happened to them, you know, like

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Speaker 2: you know when to time it might pick a year,

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Speaker 2: might take two months, two weeks, but you kind of

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Speaker 2: know when they're cool with being made fun of about it, right,

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Speaker 2: Not that told too soon?

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Speaker 3: Yea was.

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Speaker 2: There was a lot of too soons.

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Speaker 4: We did that roast for our buddy Bow for his

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Speaker 4: past are at a party. It was totally his idea

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Speaker 4: and not Lisa's. No, exactly, but like I knew, like

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Speaker 4: one of my buddies that it was a comic with me.

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Speaker 4: He texted me, he's like, your.

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Speaker 3: Mom how old were you and your mom died?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh boy, here we.

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Speaker 4: Go, here we go, And but I'm like, whatever, we

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Speaker 4: just sposed started laughing, but like they know that, like

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Speaker 4: it's to the point where like it's not that big

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Speaker 4: a deal a very long time ago.

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Speaker 2: And then the joke he did was so not horrible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it was just.

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Speaker 2: Like kind of a segue to something that was pretty funny. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So I was like, Okay, he's not saying, isn't it

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Speaker 2: funny his mom died when he was six?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, the thing is because she did a breast

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Speaker 4: cancer and I have tits, so there's always that correlation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he cut his tits off and on his mother

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Speaker 4: or something yeah like that.

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Speaker 2: There you go, oh there you go? Are there? Every

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Speaker 2: it's things where you're like too soon. I can't take

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Speaker 2: a joke about that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, actually it happened here.

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Speaker 2: Oh Jesus Christ, we're gonna get No. I don't have

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Speaker 2: to know. No, No, I love it.

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Speaker 5: Which one it was like one time it was off air?

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and I think something had just happened with

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Speaker 5: my father.

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Speaker 2: God, he's person I love my worship him. Go ahead,

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Speaker 2: And I think you were like, oh it's me now

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Speaker 2: it was you that first you want to have sex

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Speaker 2: with you? Now I'm a bad That.

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Speaker 5: Was understood when I said, like it was here, No, no.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true because I am really ahead of the ship.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead.

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Speaker 5: And you were just like, oh my God, like is

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Speaker 5: your dad gonna like do this again? And I was

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Speaker 5: like not in a good mood because it had happened

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Speaker 5: like the night before, and so it was just like.

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Speaker 2: It's my faulty, here's what you should do. Then just

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Speaker 2: go too soon. Yeah, just so little whisper, go too soon.

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Speaker 4: I mean, for all in all seriousness, And I would

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Speaker 4: never defend Lisa because her he hates me so much. No,

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Speaker 4: but if you are genuinely upset by something and you

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Speaker 4: tell me she has zero, like I get it, hurt

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Speaker 4: the comedy and the she's retired. Yeah, if you were

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Speaker 4: actually ever upset about something and you told her, she'd

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Speaker 4: be like all right, that's oh god.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot, and I have all filed

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Speaker 2: in my head who you don't joke with about certain things.

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Speaker 5: And like one time, my friend we joke about how

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Speaker 5: my sister is just kind of like my younger sister

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Speaker 5: even though she's five years older than me, and like

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Speaker 5: I take care of her kind of, and one of

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Speaker 5: my friends like, god, she's helpless.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, but that's a whole no, correct,

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Speaker 2: the whole thing where I can shit on my family

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Speaker 2: but you can can't.

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Speaker 5: I was like that's not okay, Yeah, that's bad because

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Speaker 5: and then immediately was like, oh my god, like I

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Speaker 5: didn't mean it like that, Like I was like joking

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Speaker 5: for that came off wrong, and I was like it's okay,

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Speaker 5: Like I get it, but like, don't do that again.

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Speaker 2: I broke up a friendship over that. Yeah, because I

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Speaker 2: remember when my mom was really sick and all, and

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Speaker 2: a friend of mine of thirty five years made a

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Speaker 2: comment about how someone in my family wasn't helping enough,

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Speaker 2: and I just go, that's not helpful. And then like

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Speaker 2: I just never took the call again because I was

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Speaker 2: just like, I get to say whatever I want about

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Speaker 2: my family. You don't. Yeah, and again that's it's kind

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Speaker 2: of Italian maybe, But also then, but the timing wasn't right,

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Speaker 2: So I apologize I made fun of your dad. Oh no, no,

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Speaker 2: just say thank you for the apology. Do it right,

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Speaker 2: I thought that wasn't don't look down. You look me

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Speaker 2: in the eye. Come on, I know it's better than me. Nick, No,

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Speaker 2: nobody's better than me. Sorry that hurt your feelings. See,

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Speaker 2: I didn't say I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings,

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Speaker 2: because that is not an apology. So I know how

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Speaker 2: to apologize. Great, I'm sorry that hurt your feelings. And

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Speaker 2: I would hope in the future just say oh, you

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Speaker 2: know too soon, yeah, or gosh, that's a tender spot

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Speaker 2: or whatever. Not speaking up, it's all right. I'm used

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Speaker 2: to like people who don't like confrontations, yeah, because I

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Speaker 2: love them. Uh huh. And that's a great personality trait

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Speaker 2: because you just go, hey, man, that hurts. So if

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Speaker 2: you could not that'd be great. But I deal with

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Speaker 2: people all the time who just because a childhood they

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Speaker 2: don't want to bring stuff up. It gets them in trouble.

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Speaker 2: So you just have to accept that. So see that

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Speaker 2: nice tender moment between us where we didn't deflect with humor.

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Speaker 2: See who's better than me? Nick? Say it? Thank you

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Speaker 2: very much. By the way, Nick and I now have

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Speaker 2: an agreement that if he mentions anyone and gives them

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Speaker 2: a compliment, he has to follow it up with but

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Speaker 2: not as good as you.

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Speaker 3: So here's an example.

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Speaker 2: So if you say, say talk talk like say my

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Speaker 2: buddy Anthony.

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Speaker 4: Buddy Anthony is one of the best guys around. He'll

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Speaker 4: take care of He's a sweet man.

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Speaker 2: Except for you. You're all right, not including you.

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Speaker 3: I mean it's better than you.

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Speaker 2: There you go.

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Speaker 3: I know it's got more mortgages that have paid off

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Speaker 3: than you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you very much. Takes obsessed with mortgages. I think

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Speaker 2: we've learned a lot we have today, and I think

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Speaker 2: we're doneping.

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Speaker 4: My face Where people listen guess what, guys, we don't know.

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Speaker 4: You know, you can listen on the iHeartRadio app or

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Speaker 4: wherever you get a podcasts, but mostly the iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 4: If you want to write in, please email us at

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Speaker 4: shrink this Show at gmail dot com. That is shrink

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Speaker 4: this Show at gmail dot com. Follow all three of us,

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Speaker 4: and I'm gonna follow Celia home and beat the ship.

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Speaker 2: Out of Yay.

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Speaker 5: Love you,