1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Miner Sale, 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: and we have been digging for stories on the Okay 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying. 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 2: And we've found some diamonds of the rough, how haven't we? John? 5 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: That's right? But before we do that, we have to 6 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: wade through two more minutes of incredible ads from our 7 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: sponsors keeping us finding more great stories on this show. 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 2: My boyfriend keeps messaging cam girls. This is the third 9 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: time I've caught him. 10 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 3: Well, I'm about to message him that we're breaking up. 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 2: My boyfriend twenty six male and I twenty four female, 12 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 2: have been dating for over a year and a half now, 13 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,319 Speaker 2: and besides this one issue, we get along swimmingly. I 14 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 2: love this man so much and know that he loves me, 15 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 2: but he has hurt me for possibly the last time. 16 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user hurt but Hopeful 17 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 2: one two three, four five, And if you want to 18 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 19 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: Storytime subreddit. So this is the third time one two 20 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 2: three count him up that he has done this? Yes, 21 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: and I am sick with rage and don't know what 22 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 2: to do. We know what to do become a cam girl. 23 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 3: Fool me one's shame on me. Fol me twice is 24 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 3: shame on you. 25 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 2: I am his first serious relationship ever. Before we got together, 26 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 2: he was messaging camgirls since he was seventeen and sending 27 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 2: them money. Is this the male loneliness problem reading its 28 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: ugly head right now? He is a real sweetheart, my boyfriend, 29 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,679 Speaker 2: but not too social. I was the one who made 30 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 2: the first move and asked him out. A month into 31 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 2: our relationship. I was on Twitter and connecting my contacts. 32 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 2: I added his email and an account with the handle 33 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: at steam for Mayhem, not an actual account, but along 34 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: those lines. Curious I clicked on this account and was 35 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 2: shocked beyond belief. I don't have the energy to go 36 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 2: into what the finn Dom community is like, but do 37 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 2: a quick Google search and you'll get the idea. People 38 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: who don't know what that is. It's where it's like 39 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 2: I give you money and you're like, you're gross for 40 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,279 Speaker 2: giving me money, and then I give you more money. 41 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 2: So they're essentially just paying money to be demeaned, and 42 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 2: then they pay more money. So that is what his 43 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 2: account was like, and also had pictures of himself in 44 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 2: subclothing The account had not been used in two years, 45 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 2: but I was still upset about it. I talked about 46 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,839 Speaker 2: it with him, and he was extremely remorseful and said 47 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: he was too embarrassed to tell me. I forgave him 48 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 2: and said that if he had questions or concerns to 49 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: talk to me, and that I wouldn't judge him for 50 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 2: his past. He deleted the account. Cut to six months later. 51 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 2: I have his phone and I'm using it to find 52 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 2: a place to go to breakfast. An email pops up, 53 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: thanking him for a transfer of one hundred dollars to PayPal. 54 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 2: We are not rich people, and he had recently been 55 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: complaining about finances that day, but wanted to take me 56 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 2: out because I wasn't feeling well. This made me feel 57 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 2: worse as I did something I never did with any 58 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 2: of my other boyfriends. I snooped, snooped hard. I found 59 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 2: out that he had been sending money to multiple women 60 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 2: and asking them to do or say certain things for 61 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 2: about a month. This took a week to do and 62 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: I waited to see if he would come clean and 63 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: talk to me, and he didn't. I broke down and 64 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 2: confronted him and he denied it to me. To my face. 65 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 2: I didn't talk with him for three days before he 66 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 2: came over and talked with me and said he had 67 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 2: a problem, that it was hard to adjust, and that 68 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 2: he didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose 69 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 2: me or leave me. And I know that's a crappy reason, 70 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 2: but I had fallen for him at this point and 71 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 2: I really had deep feelings for him, and I still do. 72 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: He blocked her. I gave him an ultimatum, do this again, 73 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 2: and I'm leaving. 74 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 3: Are we counting this as the second strike or the 75 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 3: first strike? 76 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: I think this is strike number two. 77 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 3: So the first strike was just that he had a passed. 78 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 2: Because of my lost trust and paranoia, I did something 79 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 2: that was really uncool, and I added my fingerprint to 80 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: his phone so I could access it quicker. And if 81 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 2: you're doing this, folks, it's time to leave. 82 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 3: It's time to leave. You can't get away with this. 83 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 2: Is this something you want to do forever? So I 84 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 2: never did use the fingerprint, but a week ago I 85 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 2: told him about it and he was visibly upset, but 86 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 2: not too angry. Something about his reaction didn't sit right 87 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 2: with me and made me extremely suspicious. We were dog 88 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: sitting for a friend. I forgot to mention that we 89 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: don't live together, and I have not trusted him since 90 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: I found out about this last incident. I've been having 91 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,280 Speaker 2: conversations with him that I felt like he was hiding 92 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 2: something from me and that he wasn't being open enough. 93 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 2: So I asked him every day and he said nothing 94 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 2: was wrong. I looked through his phone while he was 95 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 2: sleeping and found videos that he had paid for, and 96 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 2: I was so sick I couldn't sleep. And you know what, 97 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 2: stop doing it. 98 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 3: Break up with them. 99 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 2: You're snooping and you're finding the stuff you should be snooping, 100 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 2: I guess, but if you already have to snoop, it's over. 101 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: I couldn't believe that he did this again. He lied 102 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 2: to me again. He found me on the couch and 103 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 2: asked me if I was okay, and all I could 104 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 2: do was stare at him. He knew instantly. He immediately 105 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: confessed and admitted that he was wrong and made a 106 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 2: huge mistake. I asked him to show me the messages 107 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 2: and was appalled at what I saw. I almost exiled 108 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 2: him from the house. The messages we're so that I 109 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 2: read them aloud and he just hung his head in shame. Oof. 110 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: Going through more messages, I found out he video chatted 111 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 2: with one of them and talked about me very negatively, 112 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 2: but also that he felt kind of guilty about what 113 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 2: he was doing. Not sure if that was a part 114 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 2: of the spicy hobby or not, being like I don't 115 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 2: like my girlfriend, but I'm so guilty that I'm sending these, 116 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: buying these Why I have a girlfriend, I don't know. 117 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 2: But you know what, regardless, girl, this guy's got some 118 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 2: stuff to figure out, and he could do it without you. 119 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 2: He apologized over and over, and I just and still 120 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 2: can't grasp why he did it again. We are going 121 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 2: to see my family for Thanksgiving, and then we're going 122 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: to go to New York and then Disney World for Christmas. 123 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 2: He calls me every day. We hang out together every day. 124 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 2: He talked about moving in together for the past six months. 125 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 2: Sy he's been doing this since August. We talked for 126 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 2: over two hours and we came to the conclusion that 127 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 2: we want to work it out, but that he needs help. 128 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,280 Speaker 3: Ah. 129 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 2: Not the move I would take, but it is true. 130 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 2: Clearly this guy does need help. 131 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 3: He does, but you don't need to be there while 132 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 3: he's getting that help, you could be somewhere else. 133 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 2: He has given me all the passwords to his social media, emails, 134 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: bank accounts. This was at his request, not mine. I 135 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,720 Speaker 2: messaged the women and told them I was not upset 136 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 2: with them because they were just doing their job and 137 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: fulfilling a fantasy. They apologized and gave me their condolences 138 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 2: and understood. They blocked him, and he blocked them and 139 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: deleted their messages. He wants to go to a therapist 140 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: tomorrow and talk about this because he says he really 141 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,359 Speaker 2: doesn't want to lose me because he was at a 142 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 2: little dumb But I just don't know. Okay, I still 143 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 2: love him, but he's hurt me multiple times. I know 144 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 2: this subreddit is quick to say give up, but I 145 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 2: really think if we get help, things will be okay. 146 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 2: But this hurts a lot wrong. 147 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 3: Listen to the people who are saying give up. 148 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: If this is a once in a lifetime bond and 149 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 2: it's this one thing that he clearly has, like a 150 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 2: fixation that he had gained, not even in adulthood, maybe, 151 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 2: but the moment you feel like you need to snoop again, 152 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 2: it's over. 153 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 3: The thing is like, not only is he lying, to you, 154 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 3: but you're lying to him every time you Snoop. 155 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 2: I don't want to go through this again, and I 156 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: don't know if a therapist will help. And there's an update, 157 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 2: let's dive in. He is going to a therapist on 158 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: Friday by himself. He saw the post and thinks everyone 159 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 2: is right and feels like a piece of crap. 160 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 4: Maybe he likes that, That's what I'm saying. 161 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 3: I feel like he likes that. He's into that. 162 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 2: You know, wants me to go with him after his 163 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 2: first appointment, and I'm still unsure what I'll do on 164 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 2: the fence about it. He's taking a step and I 165 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: don't know that he can do better, and told him 166 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 2: that I'm not here to help him, and if he 167 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 2: wants to do better, he has to do so for himself. 168 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: Willing to work on it as long as he does too. 169 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 2: Thank you all again for the solid advice and messages. 170 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 2: And there's some comments here comment number one. Honestly, I 171 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 2: get the vibe that he's turned on by you finding 172 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: out and berating him for it, so that's why he continues, OPI. 173 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: I asked him if that was the case, and he 174 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: said it was more the idea of me finding out 175 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 2: than me actually finding out. That was the spicy related part. 176 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 2: Break up with him. You can't work with that. He 177 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 2: regrets how much pain this has put me in and 178 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 2: is not turned on by seeing me break down over this, which, 179 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 2: by the way, newsflash, if that was the case, he 180 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 2: would never say that, because that's psychotic. I wonder is 181 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 2: this guy a cannibal? And this guy was like, look, 182 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 2: I don't wanna taste what you taste like at all. 183 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,719 Speaker 2: I'm uninterested in consuming you. A Cannibal's not gonna tell 184 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: you they want. 185 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 4: To eat you. 186 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 2: I have an impregnation fetish and love the idea of it, 187 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: but don't want children. If it did happen, I would 188 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 2: be devastated. Girl, What did you just say? Do you 189 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 2: just like the rush of it? It's a nine month rush. 190 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 2: No excuses on his part, just his answer. I don't 191 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 2: know if I believe him. Comment to how is he 192 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 2: going to fix this? How is he showing he's going 193 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: to get help? Opie says, who knows? I's tom nat 194 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 2: king him questions? Go break up with him? I told 195 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 2: him showing is better than telling. I'm not giving you 196 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 2: ideas of what I want. Ask me what I want 197 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 2: besides dinner. Be invested as you were with their videos 198 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 2: and their pay pig, as you should be with me 199 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 2: as a person. If not, I'm gone, and there is 200 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 2: an update. 201 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 3: Be gone, go stop staying there. 202 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 2: Sometimes the simplest solution is to be gone, just moving 203 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: on with our lives. Update. I wasted another year of 204 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 2: my life. Wow, we're all shocked by trying to help 205 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 2: a person that never helped themselves, and I'm paying for 206 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 2: it in every way imaginable. I introduced him to the 207 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 2: stop Findam's subreddit. We went to therapy three times, only 208 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 2: initiated when I caught him. I tried avoiding it. I 209 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 2: tried confronting him. Nothing worked because he never stopped the cycle. 210 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 2: I was going to study abroad in Asia in December, 211 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 2: and I did not need this on my mind before 212 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 2: I went so very impromptu. On November sixteenth, I decided 213 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 2: I could not be with him anymore. I was sick 214 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 2: of feeling used and lied to about something that he 215 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 2: didn't need to lie about. I didn't have solid proof. 216 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 2: I just had it mentally because I felt he was 217 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 2: hiding something from me. So this is strike number three 218 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 2: right here. 219 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 3: You literally have so much proof, and you looked at 220 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 3: it and you said, nah, we're gonna try again. 221 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 2: Learn from these mistakes. Folks, When someone's kink is lying 222 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 2: to you and you being upset, you can't stay with 223 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 2: that guy who's gonna do that to you over and 224 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 2: over and over again. I felt he was hiding something 225 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 2: for me, and he wasn't trying to fix our relationship 226 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 2: at all, even though he swears up and down that 227 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 2: he did. Instead of handling it well, he shows me 228 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 2: an engagement ring his mom gave to him as I 229 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 2: was breaking up with him and begged me to stay again. 230 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 2: We didn't speak at all while I was away, and 231 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 2: I wish it had stayed that way. I came back 232 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 2: over the January and our lease isn't up until February, 233 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 2: so I decided we could live together until then. And 234 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 2: it was great until Monday, or at least I thought so. Anyway. 235 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 2: We were talking openly about our feelings and he kept 236 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 2: apologizing for everything that went wrong. I still wanted to 237 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 2: be my friend hard No, it wasn't until this last 238 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 2: Monday that he got a new phone and switched over 239 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 2: his simcard to his new one while he was at work. 240 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 2: His old phone kept going off, so I looked at it. 241 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 2: I fully acknowledged that since we aren't together, I had 242 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 2: no rights to go through his phone. But the crap 243 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 2: I found makes me feel no guilt whatsoever. If anything, 244 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 2: I'm proud I can see him for who he actually is. 245 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,199 Speaker 2: Grow It took you too long. Can't be proud. 246 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 3: You can't be that proud if you get the answer 247 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 3: like four years later. You can't be that proud. 248 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 2: You literally started this story with I wasted another year 249 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 2: of my life. Can't be proud of that. I found 250 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 2: out he went to see one of the doms he 251 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 2: was cheating on me with in La and never stopped 252 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 2: talking to her even before we broke up. And he's 253 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 2: fifteen thousand dollars in debt from sending multiple doms money. 254 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 3: That's shocking, that's news. 255 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 2: He always told me. One of the traits he doesn't 256 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 2: like about me is how badly I handled money. Hor 257 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 2: horror projecting. Much after I saw this, I puked, packed 258 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 2: a bag and left. I texted him that I am leaving, 259 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 2: and unless it was about the apartment, I never wanted 260 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 2: to hear from him again. We've been avoiding each other since. 261 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 2: I've been slowly moving my things out and putting it 262 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,559 Speaker 2: in storage, and I just feel emotionally defeated. I went 263 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 2: through three months worth of messages and found a few 264 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 2: interesting things other than than the spicy picks and videos, 265 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 2: pretty subpar spicy texting as well. He acknowledges that he 266 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 2: lied and that he had an immediate connection with her, 267 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 2: to which she replies that's called deceit, not cheating. He's 268 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 2: glad that it was her, Glad that he can finally 269 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 2: make someone happy, Glad he can please his goddess, glad 270 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 2: to be free, upset that I never understood him. Wow, 271 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 2: what a goof lol, girl, you're being goofy right now. 272 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 2: You're a pan of goofs. 273 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 4: You entertained this girl. 274 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,839 Speaker 2: And now you're looking at stuff you don't even need 275 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 2: to look at if you're. 276 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 3: Sitting there watching a comedian you paid for that man. 277 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 2: So, he is so disillusioned and addicted to this lifestyle 278 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 2: that he genuinely believes she cares about him and that 279 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 2: he's in the right. He thinks she's actual his friend 280 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 2: while she goes out to dinner with her boyfriend with 281 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 2: his money and is using him for emotional support, something 282 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 2: he complained about to her about me and how he 283 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 2: loved emotionally effing with me. See there it is. She's 284 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 2: being paid thousands of dollars to stroke their ego, though, 285 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 2: so I think I would understand that you have to 286 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 2: keep the customer happy. She got five hundred dollars out 287 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 2: of that LA visit, which is pretty impressive. If you 288 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 2: ask me, just stop move on with your life. Your 289 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: hobby can't be digging into your ex boyfriend's weird findom habits. 290 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 2: I feel like I should say that I respect spicy 291 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 2: sleep workers in everything that they do a lot, but 292 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 2: this specific dom is manipulative and has no boundaries. She's 293 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 2: a half bake amateur and best who really has no 294 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 2: clue on how to even pretend to know what she's doing. 295 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 2: She gives actual doms a bad name. This is the 296 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 2: twist OPI is now going to become a DOM and 297 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 2: get her gross ex back. By becoming the dom, She's 298 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 2: going to put him into another fifteen thousand dollars worth 299 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 2: of debt after the breakup. Anyone who is a proper 300 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 2: domb and actually cared about their subs well being would 301 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 2: never do the crap that these two concocted like sending 302 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 2: me a picture of her butt and saying she only 303 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 2: did it because he asked her to, asking him how 304 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 2: he's going to spoil me today, and him telling her 305 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 2: that she's going to take me to get my nails 306 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 2: done as a surprise, him telling her how unappreciative I 307 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 2: am of his gifts because they don't feel genuine, which 308 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 2: they weren't. I never consented to any of this, and 309 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: this crap has f me up for life. But get this, 310 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 2: she's an advocate for mental wellness. What a joke. She 311 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 2: praised him for getting out of a toxic relationship and 312 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: was glad he could be free from all of my 313 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 2: nagging and that I wouldn't hold this over his head anymore. Again, 314 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 2: either she's really good at customer satisfaction or really crappy person, 315 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 2: more than likely both. But he never told her that 316 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 2: I was the one who actually ended the relationship. But yeah, 317 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 2: he never changed. He talked a big game, but is 318 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: so deep into the world of cam girling and himself 319 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 2: that he's willing to risk everything for it. I should 320 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 2: have listened to everyone's advice and left when I had 321 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 2: the chance. Yeah, you shut up. I shouldn't have moved 322 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 2: in with him. Instead, I was emotionally mistreated by a 323 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 2: self absorbed person who felt that he did everything he could. 324 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: A direct quote he said to the Finn Doom he 325 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 2: never stopped talking to for the past six months. To 326 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 2: those that are questioning and still have hope for the hopeless, 327 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 2: get out while you can. You can't change anyone that 328 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 2: doesn't want to change themselves. You can't convince someone they're 329 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 2: in the wrong once they see they're in the right. 330 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 2: You may think that other people may not know them 331 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 2: as well as you do. It's just something you tell 332 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 2: yourself to avoid the actual truth that you're sacrificing yourself 333 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 2: for someone who won't even do the same for you. 334 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 2: Take care of yourself first, because you're only damaging yourself 335 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 2: in the long run. Sorry if this looks all over 336 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 2: the place, By the way, as happy as I am 337 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 2: that I made the decision to leave, I am super 338 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 2: depressed and feel like I failed. I know this is 339 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 2: all his fault, but I feel like I should have 340 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 2: seen this coming. That besides this one thing, he was amazing, 341 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 2: but it was a lie. Read it really helped me 342 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 2: and the last time, and that's the only reason I'm 343 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 2: posting here because I haven't slept in the past three 344 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: days and could really use some support. And we'll probably 345 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 2: regret posting this later. And there's another up. 346 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 4: Dude, just get out. 347 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 2: You haven't slept in three days. 348 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 4: Over this guy, Over this guy and him talking about 349 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 4: these came girls. 350 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 2: You should be sleeping like a little baby wrapped in 351 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 2: a nice, warm blanket. But you know, sometimes time provides perspective. 352 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes we want to take steps backwards, but instead we 353 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 2: had to take steps forwards. Update Holy Canoli. I went 354 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 2: to sleep and came back to one thousand up votes. 355 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 4: Wow. 356 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 2: Thanks for the platinum and it's over. I truly appreciate it. 357 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 2: The comments are overwhelming and I'm trying to upboate them all, 358 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: but I am beyond grateful. And here's a couple of 359 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 2: notes for those that don't google Findama's financial domination. I 360 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 2: don't have a problem with this. We actually tried it together. 361 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 2: I was uncomfortable with it, mainly because I linked it 362 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 2: with his cheating. In line, I expressed that I wanted 363 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 2: to be monogamous, and he stated that he wanted help 364 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 2: and he felt sick and wanted to change. I said 365 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 2: that if this is what he wants to do. That's fine, 366 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 2: and I'm fine with that, but I just don't want 367 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 2: to be deceived and used. Just communicate with me. But 368 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 2: as I found out from the messages, he loved emotionally 369 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 2: manipulating me and loved to see me hurt. He got 370 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: all off on my pain, which is a direct quote, 371 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,199 Speaker 2: which again, the person who does that is never going 372 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 2: to tell you to your face that they do that. 373 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 2: It's like asking the guy who robbed the bank, did 374 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 2: you rob the bank? That's kind of what you did. 375 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 2: He also had a home wrecking fetish, but I guess 376 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 2: it loses the appeal if I consent to the home wrecking. 377 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: And by the way, you can home wreck us all day, 378 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 2: every day. All you have to do is go to 379 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 2: any podcast platform, be it Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you 380 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 2: get your podcasts, search Okay story Time, and there you 381 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 2: can listen to full episodes with stories like this. And 382 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 2: right now we're at forty nine days worth of stories 383 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,880 Speaker 2: for you to listen to, and we're always adding more. 384 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 2: Let's finish this story, and we have a mini rant. 385 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,199 Speaker 2: Don't do this to partners who have no interest in 386 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 2: your spicy hobbies or you have not had that conversation 387 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 2: with them on what they are okay within the relationship. Communicate, 388 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 2: give them the option to decide on what they're comfortable with, 389 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 2: not what you think they're okay with. Don't hurt someone 390 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 2: else if they express his interest and give you an 391 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 2: open opportunit needed to leave, but you are so selfish 392 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 2: that you'd rather lie to them and put up a 393 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,159 Speaker 2: facade of wanting help. And that is the end of 394 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 2: that story. And I feel like, OHPI has earned that 395 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 2: because you did go through a lot. However, how much 396 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,439 Speaker 2: of it was self imposed. You should have left, You 397 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 2: had the out, And it's like you can be mad 398 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,640 Speaker 2: at the people who are doing this to their partners 399 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 2: to a much higher degree than the people who are staying. 400 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 2: But also why are you staying? 401 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, my mother in law hid my husband's a air 402 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 3: because she knows I'm going to evict them. 403 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,640 Speaker 2: There's a lot of moving pieces to that. I can 404 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 2: neither confirm nor deny the validity of these options. 405 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 3: Yet, two months ago I found out my husband had 406 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 3: been cheating on me since we got married, which was 407 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 3: almost a year ago. I have suspicions that it probably 408 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,679 Speaker 3: went much farther back than that, but I don't know 409 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 3: how long it's been going on in total, and I 410 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 3: personally don't want to know more details than I have to. 411 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you 412 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 3: want to smit your own stories, go to our slashoky 413 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 3: storytime suburt it. 414 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: Ye. 415 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 3: Ever since I found out, I have been set on 416 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 3: pursuing divorce and I keep communication with him at a minimum. 417 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 3: We don't have kids. Evicting my husband out of the 418 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 3: house was a given. It was relatively easy to do 419 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 3: because the house is in my name. I inherited it 420 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 3: from my mother. The dilemma involves his mother, my mother 421 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 3: in law. She lives in our guest room and my 422 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 3: husband has taken the role of her caretaker since he 423 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 3: only works part time. She's not in a facility because 424 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 3: she doesn't need constant revision. She just needs help with 425 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 3: bathing and being taken to her physical therapy sessions. Before 426 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 3: anyone asks, yes, I did my part in caring for 427 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 3: her too. He was her main caretaker because I worked 428 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 3: full time and he didn't. I cooked, clean and did 429 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 3: her laundry. I also drove her to her appointments when 430 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 3: my husband couldn't. Only thing I wasn't comfortable with was 431 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 3: the bathing. Despite not wanting my husband to be in 432 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 3: the home, I let her stay. I did let him 433 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 3: know that once the divorce was finalized, she would have 434 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 3: to find somewhere else to live, whether that be with him, 435 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 3: his siblings, or with other family. I felt bad about it, 436 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 3: but I decided that I needed a clean break from 437 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 3: him and, by extension, his family once we were done. 438 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 3: I was not willing to permanently house my mother in 439 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 3: law in my home if it meant that I had 440 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,159 Speaker 3: to continue interacting with him. I suggested that he planned 441 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 3: arrangements ahead of time so that we weren't scrambling to 442 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,399 Speaker 3: find housing. 443 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: He seems fine with that. 444 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 3: At first, I was okay with my husband only returning 445 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,640 Speaker 3: home to take care of his mother as long as 446 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 3: he didn't interact with me. I would usually be out 447 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 3: of the home during the time he'd come over. Anyways, 448 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 3: he broke that rule once he started begging and pleading 449 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 3: me for reconciliation. I absolutely refused. He then asked if 450 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 3: he could at least live in my house until the 451 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 3: divorce was finalized, which. 452 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 2: I also refused. 453 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 3: At that point, I was scared that he would try 454 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 3: to forcefully move back in, so I had the locks 455 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 3: changed and didn't give him a new key. I made 456 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 3: sure that I was there to receive him at the 457 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 3: door whenever he came to care for his mother. So 458 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 3: his mom is still living with Opee, but he can't come. 459 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 3: I later found out he was desperate for housing because 460 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 3: none of his friends at the space for him. They 461 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 3: all lived in apartments with multi roommates. His siblings were 462 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 3: not willing to house him or help him find housing 463 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 3: after they found out he cheated on me. The reason 464 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 3: I'm asking is if I'm the a hole, because I 465 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 3: now want to expedite moving my mother in law out. 466 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 3: She told me that she discovered that my husband was 467 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,359 Speaker 3: cheating on me over a year ago, which was also 468 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 3: when we were still engaged. We were living in my 469 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 3: house back then, and my idiot of a husband then 470 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 3: fiance was caught because he brought one of his side 471 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 3: pieces to our home. He thought my mother in law 472 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 3: was fast asleep, but she wasn't. She later confronted him 473 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 3: and threatened him to come clean to me or she 474 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 3: would My husband reassured her that he would tell me, but. 475 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 2: Obviously never did. 476 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,159 Speaker 3: My mother in law kept quiet about it all this 477 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,880 Speaker 3: time because she believed I forgave him. 478 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 2: Being go here, we go. I was about to say, 479 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 2: there's only one situation where this is okay, and it's 480 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 2: that exact situation was she brought it up. He's like, 481 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 2: I will tell her, and then he never tells her. 482 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 2: But then she just assumes, Oh, I guess they worked 483 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 2: it out. 484 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 3: I feel like you got to do a follow up there, though. 485 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 2: But it's such a like remember that thing, you probably 486 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 2: never want to think about it again that you talked 487 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 2: through and got over. I guess how's that going. 488 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 3: She thought that since the wedding went as planned and 489 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 3: without delay, that I didn't have any lingering issues from 490 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 3: his infidelity. My mother in law was also under the 491 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 3: impression that he stopped his affairs, but that was only 492 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 3: because my husband got smarter quote unquote and never brought 493 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 3: anyone to the home again quote unquote smarter, because that 494 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 3: was already a pretty stupid move. After hearing all that, 495 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 3: I no longer felt comfortable having her in my house. 496 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 3: I wanted her to move out asap. She apologized, but 497 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,160 Speaker 3: I just didn't want to hear it. Of course, I'm 498 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 3: angriest with my husband for what he did, but I 499 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 3: also feel betrayed by her. At any point, she could 500 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 3: have let me know about what he did. Maybe she 501 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 3: could have even asked me during the wedding preparations. If 502 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 3: I was really okay with forgiving his cheating, then at 503 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 3: least I would have found out before we got married. 504 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 3: She just assumed that I knew and was totally fine 505 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 3: with it. I know there are people who forgive their 506 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 3: spouses for cheating, but I don't think that they act 507 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 3: completely normal and happy, which is how I was. That's 508 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 3: because I was in the dark about everything. I also 509 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 3: feel like she should have been suspicious that we didn't 510 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 3: cancel or postpone our wedding date, given that she discovered 511 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 3: the cheating only a few months before it. I feel 512 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,920 Speaker 3: like either she's like kind of dumb, or she didn't 513 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 3: like fully believe that he said anything, but she didn't 514 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:17,919 Speaker 3: want to dig deeper. 515 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: It's like she was kind of playing the minor business card, 516 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 2: and also the I don't want to take a side 517 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 2: that's not my son's, and then also I probably want 518 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 2: to believe that my son's not a bad guy. There's 519 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 2: a lot of interesting psychology going on in this decision 520 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 2: to be quiet. I for one, I'll give her the pass. 521 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,880 Speaker 3: On that, but I don't think OPO's her living in 522 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 3: her house. 523 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 2: Does not owe her that. I just mean, like, I 524 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,439 Speaker 2: don't think that she was withholding it in a nefarious nature. 525 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 3: I feel like most people would want to at least 526 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 3: postpone the wedding to attend counseling, even if they forgave 527 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 3: their spouse for cheating. I feel bad for her situation 528 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 3: because she's an elderly woman, but as far as we know, 529 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,920 Speaker 3: she doesn't have any cognitive or mental health issues. Maybe 530 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 3: you could say that my husband manipulated her, but I 531 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 3: feel like there's no reason to be that trusting and obvious. 532 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 3: My mother in law is not a stupid woman. 533 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 2: I keep coming back. 534 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,800 Speaker 3: To the idea that she just decided to side with 535 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 3: her son instead of doing the right thing. The pessimistic 536 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,920 Speaker 3: side of me believes that my mother in law kept 537 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,639 Speaker 3: quiet because she wanted to remain living in my house. 538 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 3: She knew that if I found out he was cheating, 539 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 3: this exact situation when happened, I would let her stay 540 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,359 Speaker 3: for a while, but she'd have to move out after 541 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 3: the divorce was finalized. That's the only reason that makes 542 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 3: sense to me, and if I'm right, it's made me 543 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 3: question if my mother in law ever liked me. I 544 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 3: used to believe that the reason why my mother in 545 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 3: law stayed with us and not my husband's siblings was 546 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 3: because they lived hundreds of miles away, and maybe that's 547 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 3: still true, but this has made me wonder if they're 548 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 3: keeping their distance on purpose. Probably they probably don't like her. 549 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 3: They're probably like, I don't want to put up with 550 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 3: this woman, even though she's my mother, so we're just 551 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 3: gonna make sure someone else tests to take. 552 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 2: Care of her. It's if she was being like I 553 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 2: don't want to be homeless. 554 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 3: I probably should have expected this, but in all that time, 555 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 3: my husband didn't do anything to find future housing for 556 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 3: his mother. I had to be the one to figure 557 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 3: out where my mother in law was going to stay. 558 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 3: I ended up coordinating with his siblings and both of 559 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 3: them were going to take a trip down to our 560 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 3: state to help her move. My mother in law was 561 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 3: going to be living with my husband's sister, but only temporarily. 562 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,679 Speaker 3: They had plans to have my mother in law permanently 563 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,120 Speaker 3: stay with their extended family. Ever since I made that call. 564 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 3: I have received a lot of backlash from my husband, 565 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 3: some of his friends, and her extended family. Some of 566 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 3: them even made posts on Facebook criticizing me for throwing 567 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 3: out an elderly woman into the streets. Now a lot 568 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 3: of people I don't know are sending me nasty messages. 569 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 3: But you guys can send a message to us if 570 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,160 Speaker 3: you listen to full episodes with stories just like this. 571 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 3: Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast 572 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 3: up and search a book as story Time And that sounds. 573 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 2: A great message. 574 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to this story. 575 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 3: Do any final thoughts. 576 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 2: It's crazy, the unfair to be like you're throwing an 577 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 2: old lady out on the street. It's like, well, it's 578 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 2: real easy to say when situation's not impacting you. I 579 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 2: wonder how many people who are yelling at you about 580 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 2: how you're a bad person would do exactly what you're 581 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 2: doing right now. How many old ladies are you taking 582 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 2: care of? How many old ladies children are actively cheating 583 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 2: on you? 584 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story. 585 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 3: Someone even tried to call into my work and get 586 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 3: me fired. They're like, she's not taking care of the 587 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 3: old lady, I suspect either my husband or my mother 588 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 3: in law gave this person my work contact information since 589 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 3: I don't have any social media presence that displays where 590 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,119 Speaker 3: I work. No one ever mentioned my husband's infidelity and 591 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 3: my mother in law's willful silence about it, so I 592 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 3: don't know if they even have the full context. Only 593 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 3: my husband's siblings seem to side with me and promise 594 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 3: to keep the story going. Comment one says, I agree 595 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 3: with you. She needs to start saving all proof of 596 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 3: their harassment and let them know that if they don't 597 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 3: back off, she'll press charges. She really needs to stop 598 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 3: letting these leeches treat her like a doormat. 599 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 2: Ope. 600 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 3: He needs a lawyer asap to start divorce proceedings. 601 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 2: While married. 602 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,880 Speaker 3: She's on the hook for his debts, and he might 603 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 3: take some inner name without our knowing. Dude was clearly 604 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 3: using her money to spoil his side pieces. Opie served 605 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 3: that woman in eviction notice asap. Don't let them guilt trip. 606 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,119 Speaker 3: You ever thought about how your husband only married you 607 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 3: to get a free caretaker for his mom. That's why 608 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,640 Speaker 3: she never told you about his affairs. They don't want 609 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 3: to lose their maid ATM and nurse. You've been used 610 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 3: while he lived like a single man. Stop buying stuff 611 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 3: for mother in law and taking care of our that'll 612 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 3: speed up getting her out of your house. Also get 613 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 3: tested for STD and Opie says, yes, I have retained 614 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 3: a lawyer. I thankfully have a lawyer friend who was 615 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,640 Speaker 3: able to recommend several divorce lawyers they knew. I would 616 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,600 Speaker 3: say that he was more of a caretaker for her. 617 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 2: Than I was. 618 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 3: I mainly helped out during the weekends, but I didn't 619 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 3: have work. I know that I said I cooked and cleaned. 620 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 3: Technically I cooked and cleaned for everyone in the home. 621 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 3: It wasn't like I made her specialized meals or anything. 622 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 3: I was okay with them only working part time because 623 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,919 Speaker 3: I made enough to support both of us, and I 624 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 3: respected that he wanted to take care of his mother. 625 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 3: I probably would have been okay with that arrangement for 626 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,360 Speaker 3: the rest of our lives. If it had an been 627 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 3: for you know, the cheating. I would have to get 628 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,440 Speaker 3: a professional to analyze our bank records. But as far 629 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 3: as I've seen, my husband was not using my share 630 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,400 Speaker 3: of the income on these women, at least not enough 631 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,399 Speaker 3: for me to notice. We have a joint account, and 632 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 3: he was careful enough to only use amounts of money 633 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 3: that reflected his salary. For instance, if he took home 634 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 3: three grand, he made sure to never spend more than 635 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 3: three grand until his next paycheck. 636 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 2: That's being careful. Not blowing your entire paycheck on other 637 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 2: women is being careful. Maybe I'm just not financially literate 638 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 2: enough to understand that. 639 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 3: I'm not quite understanding your goal there, buddy. I also 640 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 3: pay the majority of the bills, and he was responsible 641 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 3: for the phone bill and other small expenses. I didn't 642 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 3: really care what he spent his money on, as long 643 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 3: as he paid off his share of the expenses first. 644 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 3: I wasn't totally oblivious, though. I always monitored art statements, 645 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 3: not because I was looking out for infidelity, just because 646 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure we stayed within budget. I 647 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 3: know that he met some of these women in hotels, 648 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 3: but I assume he used cash because no hotels ever 649 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 3: showed up in the statements. I wasn't suspicious that he 650 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 3: withdrew cash to begin with. I've always known that my 651 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 3: husband preferred to pay with cash in general. I did 652 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 3: notice some statements for fast food and bars, but I 653 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 3: believed him when he said those were for lunch breaks 654 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 3: and when he went out with friends after work. Knowing 655 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 3: the truth now and makes me laugh to imagine that 656 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,680 Speaker 3: he was treating his side pieces to a romantic dinner 657 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 3: at McDonald's and these other fast food places. Just so 658 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 3: much romance emanating from this cheater. 659 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 2: The love is in this mcdouble, and we're gonna split it. 660 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 2: That's why they call it a mcdoubles because it's a 661 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 2: double Porsche. 662 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 3: I have also been tested for STDs and it's a 663 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 3: miracle that I didn't catch anything. I have thought about 664 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 3: getting tested a second time, just to make sure. And 665 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 3: that is the end of that story. Moral of the 666 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 3: story is kick your mother in law out. 667 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 2: Moral of the story. Once your husband's cheating on you, 668 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: you're not responsible for taking care of his mom. 669 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 3: Those are just the rules. 670 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: Man. 671 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 2: I don't think the mom was doing anything nefarious, but 672 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,720 Speaker 2: I think that there's also a code. Once you get 673 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 2: to that age you really have learned through experience that 674 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 2: you just mind you business and then bring it up again. 675 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 2: If you do think that they've worked through it and 676 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 2: are moving on, you're just dredging up the thing that 677 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 2: shouldn't be dredged, but also there was a lack of 678 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: follow through on making sure that any sort of anything 679 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 2: was said. 680 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 3: I think that if you're going to confront your son 681 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 3: about it, then you gotta follow through on the confrontation. 682 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. 683 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 2: Hey's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. But 684 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 2: here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My girlfriend 685 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 2: said that if she wasn't with me, she'd date her 686 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 2: hot co worker. I broke up with her. 687 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 4: Well, Dakota, I have a cigret for you. Oh do 688 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 4: tell looking pretty hot. 689 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 2: My girlfriend and I had been official for about three 690 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 2: months before this happened. Things were fine in the beginning, 691 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 2: but she started acting weird a few weeks ago. By 692 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from a user throw my Way, 693 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go 694 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime suburd it submit them there. 695 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 2: So she works in retail and has plenty of male colleagues, 696 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 2: most of whom she never talked about or even mentioned 697 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 2: by name. They were always this guy or that guy. So, 698 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 2: out of nowhere, she starts bringing up this one guy 699 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 2: by name in our conversations. Let's call him. 700 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 4: Allan, but don't worry about Alan. 701 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 2: Alan's the guy she tells you not to worry about. 702 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 2: Alan's name seems to be popping up every time she 703 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 2: brings up work. Whether it's a conversation they had or 704 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 2: something that happened at the job irrelevant to him, his 705 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 2: input and name always seemed to come up. I didn't 706 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 2: think anything of it at first, but I grew suspicious 707 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 2: after realizing just how often this name has come up 708 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 2: in any of our conversations. My girlfriend also recently started 709 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,719 Speaker 2: making jokes about leaving me or finding someone else whenever 710 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 2: we were joking around. 711 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 4: Okay, I've been there, get out. 712 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 2: Red alert, my guy, Red alert again. I didn't take 713 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 2: it seriously at first, but she kept mentioning breaking up 714 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 2: in this harmless joking way too much to make me 715 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 2: think there wasn't something on her mind. 716 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,239 Speaker 4: Whenever my ex moved a state away to start her 717 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 4: new career as a teacher, uh huh, she was talking 718 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 4: about how she won't date other people at her school, 719 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,480 Speaker 4: and I was like, wait a minute, are you don't 720 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 4: mean right now? 721 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 2: It was yeah, babe, babe, that yeah, that's crazy, because 722 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 2: we're dating right now. 723 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 4: One times she kissed me and like, I kind of 724 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 4: pulled away and she said, no, no, this is how 725 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 4: you kiss remember that. And it felt like she meant 726 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 4: to say, like, remember that for when you kiss other people. 727 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: That's how I felt. I think that's exactly what she 728 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 2: was saying. 729 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 4: I got hey. 730 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 2: Then she tells me that Alan, who has a girlfriend, 731 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 2: approached her at work and told her that she should 732 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 2: go on a date with him and lie about her whereabouts. 733 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 4: To me, oh so funny. At least she told you 734 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 4: right now. 735 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 2: I maintained a cool head when I heard about this 736 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 2: and jokingly asked her, Oh, so you got plans this weekend? 737 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 2: We both laughed and I tried to not get overly 738 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 2: jealous about it. But after this, his name only came 739 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 2: up more, and her jokes about breaking up became more frequent, 740 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 2: so I got suspicious. I looked through her phone and 741 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 2: found a conversation between her and her friend about Allan, 742 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 2: and it basically went like this, a you're gonna be girlfriend. 743 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,240 Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's this guy at work who keeps 744 00:32:58,240 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 2: on asking me to go out with him, and I 745 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 2: just just keep telling him no, but he's just like 746 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 2: soup persistent, and oh my god, you should see him, 747 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 2: He's like so attractive. Friend, friend, Oh girl, what are 748 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: you gonna do? Girl? Friend? Obviously I'm not gonna do 749 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,320 Speaker 2: anything because I'm with someone. But honestly, the only thing 750 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 2: is stopping me is the fact that I'm with Opie. 751 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 2: He was one of the guys I originally liked when 752 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 2: I started working here. Am I crazy? When you stop 753 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 2: by the store, you have to see him? Oh? 754 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 4: Stop, You're not crazy at all. Oh, I can't wait. 755 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 4: I can't wait. There's a knife in my heart. 756 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 2: This story is giving me trust issues. Remember, never dated 757 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 2: girl with hot coworkers exactly. I confronted her about the conversation, 758 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 2: and she got super squirrely when I said, quote, so 759 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 2: you like that guy Allan from your work? Is he 760 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 2: the guy you have in mind when you joke about 761 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 2: leaving me? That was? Hey, that's a good way to 762 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 2: put her on blast, that's for sure. She basically tried 763 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 2: to rationalize everything she said, but just the way she 764 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 2: reacted showed me she clearly felt more for this dude 765 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 2: than she led on. She got this big time stupid 766 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 2: grin when I mentioned his name, and could barely keep 767 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 2: her story straight about the conversation she had with her friend. 768 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,400 Speaker 2: She kept saying, I don't like him, but yes, I 769 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,359 Speaker 2: think he's attractive, which really pissed me off. I got 770 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 2: especially annoyed at the fact that this guy had a 771 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 2: girlfriend and she was basically saying that if I wasn't 772 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,360 Speaker 2: in her life, she would have gladly been his side 773 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,239 Speaker 2: woman or whatever. 774 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,160 Speaker 4: Like when he says, you would be my side woman 775 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,399 Speaker 4: or whatever, my side woman, not even my main chick, 776 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:36,760 Speaker 4: my side lady. 777 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 2: It's very humiliating to think that she sort of fell 778 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,439 Speaker 2: for that type of guy. Obviously she doesn't love him, 779 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 2: but the fact that she said she would date him 780 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,719 Speaker 2: if I wasn't in the picture makes it seem like 781 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 2: this guy is just as good of an option as 782 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 2: I am. 783 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 4: Just nice guy's finish last. 784 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 2: Oh, this guy Allan all uses hot and a coworker, 785 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,760 Speaker 2: such a bad boy like me. I mean, not trying 786 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 2: to slam on op there, but like, leave, yeah, leave, 787 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 2: come on. I feel like a lot of people put 788 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,480 Speaker 2: these stories out there because they're like, I don't leave, 789 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 2: right brother, you're leaving, pack your bags. 790 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,319 Speaker 4: What's the hard thing to do? 791 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 2: Stay? I would think, really to stay in this. 792 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,439 Speaker 4: I think the hard thing for Opie is to leave, 793 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 4: and usually the hard thing to do is the right 794 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 4: thing to do. 795 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 2: It just becomes a gut check. 796 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 3: Man. 797 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 2: It's like, once your gut tells you that, like she 798 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 2: wants to hook up with this guy at her work, 799 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,120 Speaker 2: and like leave you Like it's your gut's telling you 800 00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 2: what to do. So this guy Allan's trying to cheat 801 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,759 Speaker 2: on his girlfriend with her, and she's bragging about it 802 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 2: to her friends. What the actual f This works in 803 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 2: retail and I make more in two hours of work 804 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 2: than he makes in twenty hours. 805 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 4: Mmmmm, and my thing's bigger than his. Yeah, what is this? 806 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 4: I don't get it. 807 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,360 Speaker 2: I know she didn't cheat on me, but this seems 808 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,359 Speaker 2: like the precursor to it. I'm also worried because if 809 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 2: this guy had her basically ready to jump on him, 810 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 2: and he's pretty much a bus then what happens when 811 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,400 Speaker 2: somebody competent and good looking comes around? So pause for 812 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 2: one second. You are, in effect calling your girlfriend a bum. 813 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 2: She has the same job as him. 814 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, and your insel showing dog. 815 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,080 Speaker 2: So maybe your girlfriend's looking for someone who, maybe I 816 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 2: don't know, shows her a shred of human respect in 817 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 2: the context of what she does for work. Because working retail. Yeah, 818 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 2: it's not glamorous, but slam duncan on Alan for not 819 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 2: making as much money as you. You're doing the same 820 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 2: thing to your girl, just putting that out there, so 821 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,760 Speaker 2: I feel like I can't trust her at all anymore. 822 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,440 Speaker 2: If that's all it takes for her to be willing 823 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 2: to go after someone, then how the heck can I 824 00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,239 Speaker 2: trust her? That dude was a bum sweet Hejesus. I 825 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 2: don't know what to do. I can't tell if I'm 826 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,359 Speaker 2: overreacting or not. Am I out of line? And there's 827 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,919 Speaker 2: an edit shout out to the people in retail. Nice 828 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 2: save him being in retail isn't a fault of his 829 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 2: I exaggerated when I said I make in two hours 830 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 2: what he makes in twenty. It's more like a three 831 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,320 Speaker 2: to one ratio. 832 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,759 Speaker 4: So I think even more than he does. 833 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 2: I don't know the guy or his potential career paths, 834 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 2: but I brought up the retail aspect to show that 835 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,600 Speaker 2: I'm more established in my career than he is. Mostly 836 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 2: he's a gummy. He's trying to cheat on his girlfriend 837 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 2: with my girlfriend, not because he works in retail. And 838 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 2: there's an update. 839 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 4: Thanks for the clarification, Obi, I think less of you now. 840 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,920 Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone in the comments immediately bashed him for 841 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,320 Speaker 2: exactly when I was saying. So let's get into the update. 842 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 2: What's the prognosis. Are they staying together? They breaking up? 843 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 2: Do they're breaking up? They gotta break up at this point, No, 844 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 2: you don't have the trust. That was low key, pretty 845 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,280 Speaker 2: kind of slimy. 846 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 4: And you both don't deserve each other. 847 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 2: Well, I had to talk with my girlfriend and it 848 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 2: got pretty aggravating. She basically said that he's nothing serious 849 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,160 Speaker 2: and it was just a crush, like so many of 850 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,359 Speaker 2: you said. She also said that she didn't want to 851 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 2: be his side woman, but would date him if he 852 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 2: didn't have a girlfriend and if she wasn't with me, 853 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 2: And that wasn't too nice to hear. I asked her, 854 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:44,959 Speaker 2: why the heck would you want to date this guy, 855 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,800 Speaker 2: and she responded, because he's a good guy. My head 856 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,000 Speaker 2: practically exploded. It turns out, oh he's a good guy. 857 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,919 Speaker 2: Oh he's a good guy, and I'm not a good guy. 858 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 2: Oh I do is yell at you, I'm not a 859 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 2: good guy. This sounds it feels like this is like 860 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 2: a hypothetical question that's gotten out of line. She's literally like, 861 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,960 Speaker 2: if I wasn't dating you and he wasn't dating her, 862 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 2: I would date him. But guess what you're both dating. 863 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 2: This is like, would you love me if I was 864 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 2: a worm? 865 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 4: Is exactly what this is. 866 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 2: But you're not a worm, so it doesn't really matter anyway. 867 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,360 Speaker 2: I started yelling, he's a good guy. He's trying to 868 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,200 Speaker 2: use you as his side lady, and you have the 869 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,360 Speaker 2: effing au dassy to claim he's a good guy. She 870 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 2: got super defensive and started fumbling her words, and I 871 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 2: exiled her from the house the next day. Today, we 872 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,360 Speaker 2: spent all day trying to talk about it. She honestly 873 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,360 Speaker 2: had been okay up until this point, but nothing special 874 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 2: or noteworthy. Her disrespectful comments and then this all compounded, 875 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,359 Speaker 2: but I still wanted to make sure I wasn't making 876 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,200 Speaker 2: a mistake. Yeah, brother, I think you need to not 877 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 2: be in a relationship at all and look in yourself, 878 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,400 Speaker 2: grow up a little bit. Yeah, Love people for who 879 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,680 Speaker 2: they are, not where they're at. She was really hard 880 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 2: to talk to you today. When I asked her if 881 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 2: they had ever done anything together, she said not at all, 882 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,680 Speaker 2: which I truly believe. But when I asked her, why 883 00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,320 Speaker 2: do you think he's a good guy? She avoided the 884 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 2: question five times before I got the real answer out 885 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,360 Speaker 2: of her conversation was as follows me. The thing I 886 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 2: most bothered by is that you would not only date 887 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 2: this guy but also claim he's a good guy to 888 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 2: my face, even though he's clearly a piece of Why 889 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 2: the heck would you do that? What could possibly be 890 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 2: so redeeming about this guy that you had the nerve 891 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 2: to say he's a good guy? Her? 892 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,759 Speaker 4: Well, he's really books more and intelligent. 893 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 2: Me, So that's enough to overlook the fact that he's 894 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 2: obviously a cheater. You're an effing idiot. 895 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,840 Speaker 4: Hang up, that was so productive and such a great 896 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,280 Speaker 4: conversation you have with your girlfriend. 897 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,839 Speaker 2: Hey, buddy, I'm starting to think you're not a very 898 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:34,360 Speaker 2: good guy. 899 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 4: You know. I imagine this actually didn't happen, and he's 900 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,759 Speaker 4: rewriting it to make him look like he was here. 901 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. This is like when you have like the argument 902 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,440 Speaker 2: in the shower by yourself, like an hour later, and 903 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,319 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, dang it, oh I should have said that. 904 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 2: Something about her saying that just drove me over the edge. 905 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 2: So effing disturbing that she would defend this guy. You're 906 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 2: getting disturbing myself, so I read all the books in 907 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,280 Speaker 2: the world, and then everyone clapped. It made me realize 908 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 2: she clearly felt more for him than just physical attraction. 909 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,400 Speaker 2: I dumped her to to never call me again, and 910 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,360 Speaker 2: now she's insulting me, calling me insecure right now, Like 911 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 2: I give a crap. I'm glad I don't have to 912 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,320 Speaker 2: deal with her dumb butt anymore. I'm glad she doesn't 913 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,240 Speaker 2: have to deal with a guy who clearly, right beneath 914 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:17,399 Speaker 2: the surface, was just seething with hatred at the slightest 915 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,480 Speaker 2: imbalance of the homeostasis of the relationship. You were ready 916 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,680 Speaker 2: to just go off, and you clearly don't respect your 917 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 2: ex girlfriend in any way, regardless of how she feels 918 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:28,760 Speaker 2: about Alan. 919 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,160 Speaker 4: I'm just glad this is over. You could have skipped 920 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 4: a few steps, but it's over now. 921 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,240 Speaker 2: You got a superiority complex, my guy TLDR. My girlfriend's 922 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 2: an idiot. Oof at it. To give some more clarity, 923 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,799 Speaker 2: I've been seeing her for about six months total, three 924 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,399 Speaker 2: months of dating and three months of a relationship. Prior 925 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 2: to her, I had just come out of a relationship 926 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 2: where I was cheated on in the first few months 927 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 2: there we go and basically got the excuse I wasn't 928 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 2: sure if I really loved you or not. I actually 929 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,799 Speaker 2: made the mistake of taking her back and staying with 930 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 2: the cheater for one more year. That relationship was terrible 931 00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 2: in so many ways that it has affected my ability 932 00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,560 Speaker 2: to trust women. I actually thought I had found someone 933 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,959 Speaker 2: trustworthy in this new girl, but clearly she got bored 934 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,080 Speaker 2: of me or perhaps was just like my other ex 935 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 2: and that she wasn't too sure yet. Well, she'd only 936 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 2: been dating you for three months. That is not your 937 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 2: acting like you were getting gonna get married. Yeah. I 938 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 2: definitely have trust issues and she knew that but couldn't 939 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 2: help herself. So I removed myself from this situation. 940 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,560 Speaker 4: I think that was best for everyone. 941 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,759 Speaker 2: That felt like moving the goalpost there a little bit, 942 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 2: because earlier in the story he's talking about the banter 943 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 2: of like, aha, I'm gonna leave you or we're gonna 944 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 2: break up, and it's like that was back. That was 945 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,680 Speaker 2: a back and forth that wasn't one sided. It was 946 00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 2: only once he discovered there actually was a guy who 947 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 2: she thought was cool and a good guy that he 948 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,400 Speaker 2: became uncomfortable by it, it seems anyway, we have a 949 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 2: second update here, let's see what happens. Just to note, 950 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,400 Speaker 2: we always had an open phone policy. This wasn't about 951 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,080 Speaker 2: not trusting each other at all. We just both agreed 952 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 2: neither of us had anything to hide, so we didn't 953 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,840 Speaker 2: really care if we wanted to take a look. This 954 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,840 Speaker 2: was the first time I went through her phone because 955 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,760 Speaker 2: I had a bad feeling and was somewhat unfortunately vindicated. 956 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,839 Speaker 2: I got really pissed after reading the texts and ended 957 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 2: up breaking it off with her after she tried defending 958 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,080 Speaker 2: herself and claimed he was actually a good guy, but 959 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,000 Speaker 2: he had a girlfriend and he was willing to cheat 960 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 2: on her with my girlfriend, which honestly that sounds like 961 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:13,479 Speaker 2: maybe hyperbole. I'm not sure, but it could be true. 962 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 2: So I had a few days off to really think 963 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,319 Speaker 2: about what happened that night when I basically just told 964 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,320 Speaker 2: her to get out of my life. A decent amount 965 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,640 Speaker 2: of the comments were pointing out that my aggressive way 966 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,160 Speaker 2: of bringing up the issue probably played a big part 967 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,840 Speaker 2: into how she reacted. They were totally right. After a 968 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,839 Speaker 2: few days of thinking about it, I realized I let 969 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,719 Speaker 2: my anger get the best of me and made it 970 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,520 Speaker 2: impossible for her to be heard at all, So last 971 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 2: night I agreed to meet with her to hear what 972 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 2: she had to say about it. All. I could have 973 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 2: just ignored her completely, but I was actually really interested 974 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,000 Speaker 2: in how she could possibly think she could explain this away. 975 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,320 Speaker 2: So I met with her and she began apologizing, saying 976 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,360 Speaker 2: things like I didn't deserve that at all, it was 977 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,839 Speaker 2: immature and disrespectful to the relationship. She again explained how 978 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,320 Speaker 2: nothing had ever happened between them, not even a hug, 979 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 2: and that she always rejected his advances, never leading him 980 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,839 Speaker 2: on once. He really just wouldn't leave her alone about it. 981 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,879 Speaker 2: I told her that it didn't seemed like she put 982 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,759 Speaker 2: her foot down hard enough with him if he kept 983 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 2: coming back, and it seemed to me she let it happen. 984 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 2: She said she did tell him to stop every single time, 985 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,759 Speaker 2: but that he really just wouldn't leave her alone. I 986 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,400 Speaker 2: asked her about the bragging, showing him off, and the 987 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 2: weird sort of flattery, and she told me this here's 988 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,440 Speaker 2: where it gets interesting to me. She started explaining to 989 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,120 Speaker 2: me and that she had a little crush on him 990 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 2: when she first started the job, before we even started dating, 991 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 2: but they never pursued each other. She thought he was 992 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,560 Speaker 2: cute but didn't act on it, and soon after starting 993 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,160 Speaker 2: the job she met me. We got serious, and in 994 00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 2: her own words, she forgot that I had a crush 995 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 2: on him, even though she still found him attractive. But 996 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 2: something happened after we had been official for two months 997 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 2: and he started aggressively pursuing her. At first, she didn't 998 00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 2: even think of it because he was a flirty guy 999 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,719 Speaker 2: and just kept shooting him down. She knew at that 1000 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,279 Speaker 2: time that he only wanted to have the spicy sleep 1001 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,239 Speaker 2: with her, so she didn't take it seriously. But he 1002 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,360 Speaker 2: started asking her out to dinner and talking about romantic dates, 1003 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,080 Speaker 2: and something in her just clicked back on. The feelings 1004 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,040 Speaker 2: from the crush he had on Alan before came flooding back, 1005 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,759 Speaker 2: and suddenly she was actually having an internal struggle with 1006 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 2: him her feelings. On one hand, she knew he was 1007 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,840 Speaker 2: a sky guy, but she was just so physically attracted 1008 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:06,520 Speaker 2: to him that she started to like him a little. 1009 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,719 Speaker 2: She knew he only wanted her for spicy sleep, but 1010 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,280 Speaker 2: when she started talking about dinners and stuff, she started 1011 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,439 Speaker 2: thinking that he actually liked her as a person. When 1012 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,759 Speaker 2: she started thinking that way. She just couldn't help how 1013 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,959 Speaker 2: attracted she was to him, and the crush came back. 1014 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 2: All right, bro, So at this point we're breaking up, yeah, 1015 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 2: or I'm like, fine, if you're that attracted to this guy, 1016 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,279 Speaker 2: go go to him, go date him. And you know what, 1017 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 2: you don't have to be that mad about it, because 1018 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 2: you guys were dating for three months. It's not that serious. 1019 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 2: This is what dating is for. And if you want 1020 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 2: to be honest about it, you go, you know what, 1021 00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,000 Speaker 2: I do kind of feel like I want to pursue 1022 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 2: something with this guy, and you go, yikes, well that's 1023 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,319 Speaker 2: not what I want to hear. But I guess we 1024 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 2: should break up and move on with our lives. You 1025 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:49,080 Speaker 2: don't have to make it a Mount Vesuvius eruption, you know. Anyway, 1026 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 2: she was flattered that the person she secretly had eyes 1027 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,080 Speaker 2: for in the beginning was now crushing on her, and 1028 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,120 Speaker 2: she just couldn't help the way it made her feel, 1029 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,239 Speaker 2: even though she was now with me. At the same time, 1030 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,920 Speaker 2: it also made her super uncomfortable because she liked me 1031 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 2: way more than she ever liked him. She told me 1032 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,400 Speaker 2: that he didn't have anything that I didn't already have. 1033 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 2: She's just as physically attracted to me as she is 1034 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,239 Speaker 2: to him, which is possibly true, as I've never seen 1035 00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,439 Speaker 2: this guy, and even though she said he was book 1036 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,759 Speaker 2: smart and whatever, that I was way better than him 1037 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,680 Speaker 2: in every way, it sounds like compensating me. 1038 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:17,000 Speaker 4: Dude. 1039 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,239 Speaker 2: She didn't even conceive of him as a threat to 1040 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 2: the relationship because she knew that she would never do 1041 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 2: anything with him or leave me for him. But unfortunately, 1042 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 2: she said some dumb stuff to her friend in a 1043 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 2: moment of excitement when she started feeling flattered by her 1044 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,880 Speaker 2: former crush crushing on her. I was really appreciative of 1045 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,160 Speaker 2: her honesty, and even though it was tough to hear, 1046 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 2: I didn't even want to snap back. It was sort 1047 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,719 Speaker 2: of amazing to hear. So I asked her about the 1048 00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:40,919 Speaker 2: whole defending him. When I asked her how he could 1049 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 2: possibly be a good guy, she really didn't want to 1050 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,719 Speaker 2: answer the question, so I kind of answered it for her, 1051 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,800 Speaker 2: because it doesn't doesn't feel like there is an answer 1052 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 2: to that question. Feels like the answer to that question is, Oh, 1053 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,719 Speaker 2: he's not but he's really hot, you know. 1054 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,080 Speaker 4: I just want to see what's under his clothing layer 1055 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 4: down below. 1056 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 2: In the words of Stelle. Don't like his baggy jeans, 1057 00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:00,319 Speaker 2: but I might like what's underneath them. 1058 00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:01,640 Speaker 4: Love a shout out. 1059 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,160 Speaker 2: There was a comment on this previous thread that really 1060 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 2: stuck with me regarding this exact question. I forgot who 1061 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,160 Speaker 2: posted it, and it was actually a sort of snide remark, 1062 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,759 Speaker 2: but surprisingly wise. Basically, it said, she had to tell 1063 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:14,640 Speaker 2: you he was a good guy because she knew if 1064 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,800 Speaker 2: she told you the real reason that she was attracted 1065 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,840 Speaker 2: to him he's cute and charming, that you would just 1066 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:22,520 Speaker 2: flip out. More makes sense. She deludes herself into believing 1067 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,719 Speaker 2: he's a good guy because she wants to be with him, 1068 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,839 Speaker 2: because she's really attracted to him, and she wouldn't want 1069 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,960 Speaker 2: a data scrag, so he must not be a contrary 1070 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,640 Speaker 2: to the evidence. Self delusion at its finest. I had 1071 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 2: those quotes in mind when I told her that I 1072 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,319 Speaker 2: understand why you're hesitant to answer, because ultimately it's a 1073 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:39,279 Speaker 2: lose lose for you. You could either lie to me 1074 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 2: and say he's a good guy to make it seem 1075 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:42,719 Speaker 2: like you're not shallow, but then it would seem like 1076 00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,200 Speaker 2: you're more than just physically attracted to him and actually 1077 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,680 Speaker 2: like his character. Trying to avoid hurting my feelings. You 1078 00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,600 Speaker 2: made it seem like you actually liked him more than 1079 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 2: I previously thought, Or you could be honest and just 1080 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,960 Speaker 2: say you found him cute and charming even though he 1081 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,640 Speaker 2: was as you knew he was. You were so physically 1082 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,680 Speaker 2: attracted to him that you couldn't accept he was actually 1083 00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,360 Speaker 2: a bad guy. If you had honestly said I would 1084 00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,520 Speaker 2: shag him but never be with him, I may have 1085 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,279 Speaker 2: been mad at hearing that, but it would have been 1086 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,600 Speaker 2: way better than listening to you lye on his behalf. 1087 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,000 Speaker 2: So you don't seem shout, because it only amplified the 1088 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,000 Speaker 2: situation and changed the dynamics. She was pretty shocked at 1089 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,480 Speaker 2: me saying that and told me, I honestly never wanted 1090 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,359 Speaker 2: to say why I was attracted to him because I 1091 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 2: just thought you would flip out. But yes, he's just 1092 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,800 Speaker 2: cute and charming. I know that doesn't make him a 1093 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,520 Speaker 2: good person and wash away his despicable behavior, but I 1094 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,279 Speaker 2: just didn't want to say to you when you were 1095 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,440 Speaker 2: so mad at me. It's just a physical attraction that 1096 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,439 Speaker 2: was compounded by the crush I had on him before 1097 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,680 Speaker 2: I met you. I don't know the guy at all really, 1098 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,080 Speaker 2: aside from talking occasionally at work. But he's not you, 1099 00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,440 Speaker 2: and I wouldn't trade you for him. Ever. You're just 1100 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,560 Speaker 2: as cute and charming as him, if not more so. 1101 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 2: But you have so many more amazing qualities and all 1102 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 2: he has is looks. It was the weirdest feeling. On 1103 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,640 Speaker 2: one hand, her honesty cleared up exactly how she felt 1104 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,799 Speaker 2: about him, but I was still a little unsure about 1105 00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,799 Speaker 2: how much she liked him. Brother, what are we doing? 1106 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:53,680 Speaker 4: Why are we entertaining you this man? 1107 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:55,200 Speaker 2: What are we talking about here? 1108 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,839 Speaker 4: Find someone else attractive? This deeply out? 1109 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,200 Speaker 2: The only reason that she has only a physical goal 1110 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,440 Speaker 2: attraction to this guy because she doesn't know anything else 1111 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,480 Speaker 2: about him yet, So I don't know. 1112 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,920 Speaker 4: Yep, she's just window shopping. 1113 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,160 Speaker 2: I think now is the time to appreciate that you 1114 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,680 Speaker 2: had an honest, open discourse about this, and you both 1115 00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,320 Speaker 2: move on with your lives, right. 1116 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that seems like the right thing to do. 1117 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,759 Speaker 4: But I bet you were not even halfway done. 1118 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:19,759 Speaker 2: Oh no, we're getting close. 1119 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,480 Speaker 4: Oh we're about to read a conclusion here. 1120 00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,640 Speaker 2: I hope they just move on same. The amount that 1121 00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,560 Speaker 2: she liked him is not nearly as deep as I 1122 00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,000 Speaker 2: thought it was, but the thing is, it's still there. 1123 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,839 Speaker 2: She just admitted to being able to overlook his huge 1124 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,680 Speaker 2: red flags due to physical attraction, but also admitted that 1125 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,040 Speaker 2: it was sort of silly, and brother, she's overlooking your 1126 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,960 Speaker 2: red flags. I'm sure as well. You don't sound like 1127 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,680 Speaker 2: you're red flagless, but regardless, let's continue. She also told 1128 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,759 Speaker 2: me about how her and the friend she had the 1129 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,560 Speaker 2: conversation with talked about what Alan was doing to her 1130 00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,680 Speaker 2: that night, and they both agreed it was gross and 1131 00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,480 Speaker 2: that she would never do it, but she couldn't help 1132 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 2: but feel somewhat flattered when he did those things to her. 1133 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,840 Speaker 2: She's got to be the worst liar I have ever encountered, 1134 00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,480 Speaker 2: but I didn't get a notion of deceit. In our conversation. 1135 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,760 Speaker 2: Oologized for yelling at her and calling her an effing idiot, 1136 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,520 Speaker 2: and I explained that I understood why she was afraid 1137 00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:07,399 Speaker 2: to be honest with me from the get go, given 1138 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,360 Speaker 2: the way I was acting, and that I'm not interested 1139 00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:12,000 Speaker 2: in losing control of my emotions like that anymore. We're 1140 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,680 Speaker 2: not together because I still feel weird and uncomfortable about 1141 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,880 Speaker 2: the whole thing. I told her. I appreciated her honesty, 1142 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,320 Speaker 2: but it was still very concerning hearing just how easily 1143 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,080 Speaker 2: she developed feelings for someone who isn't even a good person, 1144 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,280 Speaker 2: and that I have a hard time believing it wouldn't 1145 00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,759 Speaker 2: happen again. I caught myself and told her I've heard 1146 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,440 Speaker 2: those things before with other women during our relationship, but 1147 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 2: it never got nearly as far as she took it, 1148 00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,680 Speaker 2: and it was still a very disrespectful thing to do. 1149 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,400 Speaker 2: I know we as humans can't help who were physically 1150 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,879 Speaker 2: attracted to, but it's very concerning to hear it from 1151 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,000 Speaker 2: your ex slash girlfriend or whatever. She doesn't want to 1152 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,680 Speaker 2: be with him and wants to be with me, that 1153 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:45,880 Speaker 2: much is very clear. Nor did she want to be 1154 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,840 Speaker 2: his side piece, because honestly, she has more respect for 1155 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,479 Speaker 2: herself than that. But she couldn't deny that. She did 1156 00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 2: say she would go out with him if it wasn't 1157 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,560 Speaker 2: for me, even though she chalked it up to a 1158 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 2: misunderstanding of what she meant and that when her friend 1159 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,440 Speaker 2: talked about it more with her, they agreed he was 1160 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,120 Speaker 2: a gross guy, so she probably wouldn't either way. It's 1161 00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,399 Speaker 2: all that's just a mess. It's time to go it's 1162 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:08,920 Speaker 2: time to leave. 1163 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,560 Speaker 4: I thought we graduated from middle school. 1164 00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,319 Speaker 2: Guys, it's time move along on to the next I 1165 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:15,520 Speaker 2: still don't know how I feel about it. Yes, you do, 1166 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 2: but I do want to see what you all think 1167 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,600 Speaker 2: about this type of situation. You do know how you think? 1168 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,000 Speaker 2: I would really hope you know how you think about 1169 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,880 Speaker 2: this situation. It clearly happens in relationships, but it's scary 1170 00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:27,640 Speaker 2: to think that all it takes to lose control of 1171 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,080 Speaker 2: your emotions is looks and charm. She didn't do anything 1172 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,040 Speaker 2: with him, but I don't know. This still comes across 1173 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,800 Speaker 2: as off putting, even if she was one hundred percent honest, 1174 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,799 Speaker 2: which I think she pretty much was. And by the way, 1175 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,120 Speaker 2: I'm being one hundred percent honest with you when I 1176 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,960 Speaker 2: say you can listen to full episodes with stories like 1177 00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:47,560 Speaker 2: this on Apple podcasts, on iHeartRadio, on Spotify, wherever you 1178 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,840 Speaker 2: get your podcasts. Just search Okay story Time, and forty 1179 00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:55,040 Speaker 2: nine consecutive days worth of stories will be at your 1180 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,640 Speaker 2: fingertips and you can listen to your heart's content. 1181 00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,360 Speaker 4: I just wish you would be like my dad in 1182 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,320 Speaker 4: my childhood dog and take me out to the woods 1183 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:03,480 Speaker 4: and put me out of my misery. 1184 00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,120 Speaker 2: Please, honestly, please just rip the band aid off. Man, 1185 00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,160 Speaker 2: you know we need to do. There's no going back 1186 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,520 Speaker 2: because I don't feel like you're the kind of guy 1187 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,640 Speaker 2: from the context I've gotten from the story to be 1188 00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,319 Speaker 2: able to actually move on from this. Three months from now, 1189 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,080 Speaker 2: when you guys get in a fight, you're gonna bring 1190 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:19,359 Speaker 2: this up. 1191 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,480 Speaker 4: My god, she's like cute and charming, but like you 1192 00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,120 Speaker 4: have all these other qualities, but like blake, black blake, 1193 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,200 Speaker 4: black bla and that could be true. 1194 00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,719 Speaker 2: It's like she could be honest when she's saying, like, yeah, 1195 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,920 Speaker 2: I was attracted to this guy, and like, I do 1196 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,160 Speaker 2: know he's kind of a strong and I've talked to 1197 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,440 Speaker 2: my friend about it and yeah he does. But at 1198 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,319 Speaker 2: the same time, it's like I don't want to date 1199 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,720 Speaker 2: somebody who's attracted to scumbags. Anyway, let's finish this story. 1200 00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,680 Speaker 2: There's a mini update here. I forgot to mention this 1201 00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,000 Speaker 2: part of the story, but I asked my ex if 1202 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 2: she would tell Alan's girlfriend about his attempts at infidelity, 1203 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,600 Speaker 2: and she said no. She said it would only cause 1204 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,160 Speaker 2: problems at her job and she didn't want her name involved, 1205 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,520 Speaker 2: which is fair. Look out for yourself in the context 1206 00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,479 Speaker 2: of the job. It's like, you don't want to mess 1207 00:51:58,520 --> 00:51:59,239 Speaker 2: that up, and. 1208 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:00,360 Speaker 4: If you want to be a man about it, you 1209 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:01,120 Speaker 4: could do it yourself. 1210 00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:03,359 Speaker 2: Exactly. Yeah, if that's if that's how you really feel 1211 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,080 Speaker 2: about that, I do it would do this one favor 1212 00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,520 Speaker 2: for me. I don't know. Maybe it would cause problems, 1213 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,839 Speaker 2: but I read it as very sketch, like she doesn't 1214 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,759 Speaker 2: want to piss Alan off. Maybe I'm paranoid though, I mean, look, 1215 00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,759 Speaker 2: she's already your ex brother. Stop caring what she thinks 1216 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,080 Speaker 2: about Alan. It's over. 1217 00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,320 Speaker 4: It's time to hit the gym and watch more Andrew 1218 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,839 Speaker 4: Tait and go back to the rock you crawled under. 1219 00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,920 Speaker 2: Maybe we're being a little harsh on him, are we? 1220 00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,960 Speaker 2: But there were some I don't know, like I yelled 1221 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,680 Speaker 2: at her and called her and I think I think 1222 00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,440 Speaker 2: the way you got checked by the comments in your 1223 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,399 Speaker 2: first post, by being like I mean ten times more 1224 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,960 Speaker 2: than he does. And by the way, brother, that's where 1225 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,520 Speaker 2: your girlfriend worked. So you clearly respect your girlfriend at 1226 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,320 Speaker 2: the same amount as you respect Alan in that context 1227 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,880 Speaker 2: until you got checked and then backtracked. So who's to say, 1228 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:50,879 Speaker 2: you know? I don't know. I feel like you're trying 1229 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,480 Speaker 2: to temperature check your own thoughts and feelings with the 1230 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,200 Speaker 2: internet instead of just being honest about how you're thinking. 1231 00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,919 Speaker 2: You're thinking that you don't want to date this woman. 1232 00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:58,520 Speaker 2: Don't date her. 1233 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:00,480 Speaker 4: It's over, and we know how you think and how 1234 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 4: you move and how you go about things. 1235 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 2: It's a little high Horsey feels like he's a little 1236 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,799 Speaker 2: bit up on a high horse, although I do support, like, 1237 00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,560 Speaker 2: if this guy really is trying to cheat on his girlfriend, 1238 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,520 Speaker 2: girlfriend deserves to know. But do that yourself. Yeah, yeah, 1239 00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,400 Speaker 2: come on, if you feel that, if that's how you're feeling, 1240 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:16,600 Speaker 2: you can do that. 1241 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 4: And your girlfriend's your ex is now single, so we 1242 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,080 Speaker 4: know what she's going to be doing with Alan. She's 1243 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,600 Speaker 4: not gonna have enough time to tell Alan's girlfriend what 1244 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:24,560 Speaker 4: Alan's doing. 1245 00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:26,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, take the matter into your own hands. 1246 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 4: I see in that story. 1247 00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,480 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But 1248 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,320 Speaker 2: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1249 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,600 Speaker 4: My sister confessed her affair without any remorse, so I 1250 00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:38,440 Speaker 4: exposed her. 1251 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:43,160 Speaker 2: Ooh shoo. I don't know who to be more upset 1252 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,440 Speaker 2: at the cheater or the person who like broke someone's trust. 1253 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,760 Speaker 4: I'm not even sure what to do, if I should 1254 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,359 Speaker 4: even do anything or can At this point, my sister 1255 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,520 Speaker 4: and husband have been married for ten years. My sister 1256 00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,719 Speaker 4: has worked in realty for about two years now. She 1257 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:58,160 Speaker 4: started in a good company and she genuinely loves what 1258 00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,359 Speaker 4: she does for people. By the way, this call from 1259 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,000 Speaker 4: deleted and if you want to spit your own stories, 1260 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,000 Speaker 4: go to our slash okay stories, I'm subred. So she 1261 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,040 Speaker 4: worked in a team and each team had partners. She 1262 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,600 Speaker 4: was partners with some guy, let's call him Dan. Dan 1263 00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,160 Speaker 4: is young about twenty four to twenty five, and my 1264 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:13,719 Speaker 4: sister is twenty nine. 1265 00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:17,200 Speaker 2: I mean, that's not abnormal, these two people in their twenties. Yeah, 1266 00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:18,279 Speaker 2: it's not like it's but. 1267 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,400 Speaker 4: The combination of a young guy with slightly older, mature, 1268 00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:22,560 Speaker 4: more mature woman. 1269 00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,760 Speaker 2: That's very normal. That's very typical. 1270 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,520 Speaker 4: He's very attractive, and they've obviously had to spend a 1271 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,319 Speaker 4: lot of time together because their work requires a lot 1272 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,640 Speaker 4: of interaction with each other and other people. He's extremely 1273 00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,000 Speaker 4: flirty and they ended up getting touchy. 1274 00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:37,920 Speaker 2: Uh oh. 1275 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,080 Speaker 4: She let herself get caught up into it, since she 1276 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,640 Speaker 4: mentioned her marriage was going on a downhill slope for 1277 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,200 Speaker 4: some time. Now she ended up falling for the guy, 1278 00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,920 Speaker 4: and they would send each other's songs to dedicate to 1279 00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,280 Speaker 4: the other, and she would go out late to clubs 1280 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,719 Speaker 4: with friends and he would be there and they would kiss. 1281 00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:59,640 Speaker 2: And stuff kissing stuff is wild? Whoa Okay. 1282 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,719 Speaker 4: Eventually it led to what to go to them? 1283 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,160 Speaker 2: It led to the spicy tango, and she. 1284 00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,960 Speaker 4: Would lie to her husband and tell him she was 1285 00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,880 Speaker 4: with our sister in law, let's call her Carol, and 1286 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,200 Speaker 4: intern Carol would have to lie to my sister's husband John. 1287 00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:17,759 Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, no no. 1288 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,160 Speaker 2: And she's just offering all this up like for free, 1289 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,960 Speaker 2: like she just had to get this off her chest. 1290 00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,280 Speaker 2: Like why is she telling all this to her brother? 1291 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,040 Speaker 3: Now? 1292 00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:27,839 Speaker 2: What where's this coming from? 1293 00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,080 Speaker 4: Which made crap complicated because John is Carol's boss. Oh 1294 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:34,320 Speaker 4: so their work relationship was strained as well. Anyway, in reality, 1295 00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,000 Speaker 4: she would be with Dan effing all the time, and 1296 00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,960 Speaker 4: she went as far as to have spicy sleep with 1297 00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:44,719 Speaker 4: him in her own apartment. Girl, it messes me up 1298 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:48,880 Speaker 4: because she genuinely feels no remorse. She doesn't realize the 1299 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,120 Speaker 4: full consequences. John suspected something with Dan, but he could 1300 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:56,360 Speaker 4: never find proof. She's always with her cell phone. She's very, 1301 00:55:56,680 --> 00:56:01,040 Speaker 4: very meticulous, and a good liar and manipulator. He stays clueless. 1302 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,840 Speaker 4: Fast forward to about six months ago. She changed companies 1303 00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:07,239 Speaker 4: stand after her over and got a girl friend and 1304 00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:08,200 Speaker 4: her heart was broken. 1305 00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,480 Speaker 2: Oh well, how am I supposed to be with my 1306 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:11,480 Speaker 2: boyfriend and with you? 1307 00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:12,680 Speaker 3: Whenever you ever coming? 1308 00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:14,400 Speaker 2: Easy come, easy go. 1309 00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:19,120 Speaker 4: I imagine experiencing a breakup while with your partner you get. 1310 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,200 Speaker 2: You experience a breakup while you're not broken up with 1311 00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 2: your actual boyfriend. I mean, look, your brother, she's probably 1312 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,400 Speaker 2: coming to you for this for some some level of advice. 1313 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:29,839 Speaker 2: I don't think we got to that part of one. 1314 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,200 Speaker 2: Really did she really not have any remorse whatsoever. 1315 00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,640 Speaker 4: We'll say, you work for a company, right, you're working, 1316 00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,759 Speaker 4: you're remote. They don't really see what you're doing, but 1317 00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:39,359 Speaker 4: they're like, he's working for me. And then you're over 1318 00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:42,319 Speaker 4: here working for another company and get paid extra. You're like, ooh, 1319 00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,880 Speaker 4: I'm working the system. This this company will never know 1320 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,600 Speaker 4: I'm not working for it, but I'm like getting money 1321 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:50,000 Speaker 4: on the side here doing freelanced. And then your freelance 1322 00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,560 Speaker 4: gate goes away. You ain't getting that extra income. You're like, Oh, 1323 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,400 Speaker 4: you already got this other income. That's what she feels 1324 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,000 Speaker 4: right now. She's like, ah, whatever, I don't care about 1325 00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,600 Speaker 4: this other company. They think I'm being busy. 1326 00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:00,000 Speaker 2: I don't know. 1327 00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:05,400 Speaker 4: She's still she's an entrepreneurs It's an entrepreneurial situation exactly. 1328 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:08,440 Speaker 4: That's how she's viewing this. Well, she's a heartbroken. She 1329 00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,400 Speaker 4: goes to this new company, which is all fun dandy. 1330 00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,759 Speaker 4: She loves it. Then she starts getting too friendly with 1331 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:18,480 Speaker 4: her boss, Mark. Mark's an older man, around forty, married 1332 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,040 Speaker 4: with three kids. However, they floored anyways. Of effing course, 1333 00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,320 Speaker 4: she likes him because he's manly and older as good 1334 00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:26,840 Speaker 4: at spicy sleep too. Apparently. 1335 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:30,280 Speaker 2: Hey, so she rebounded from one affair to the next affair. 1336 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:33,280 Speaker 4: Like that entrepreneurial mindset. If you have a company that's 1337 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,520 Speaker 4: paying you money and you need freelance work to get 1338 00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,520 Speaker 4: your buzz off, you gotta you gotta find that. You 1339 00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,240 Speaker 4: gotta float that real quick. See, it's a growth mindset. 1340 00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:42,080 Speaker 4: It's an entrepreneurial mindset. 1341 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:45,000 Speaker 2: It's all about the grind. She just got confused about 1342 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,920 Speaker 2: what kind of grind they were talking about. 1343 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,240 Speaker 4: She begins her new and recent affair However, she actually 1344 00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,240 Speaker 4: thinks she's in love with him. They went on a 1345 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,400 Speaker 4: trip for work for a week, and she showed me 1346 00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,840 Speaker 4: how they danced and kissed and he got extremely romantic 1347 00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:01,400 Speaker 4: with her, saying they bought a romance. At a point, 1348 00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,840 Speaker 4: my stomach began to hurt. She looked so excited, giggly, 1349 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:08,640 Speaker 4: and thrilled from the adrenaline of her lust and secrecy 1350 00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:12,480 Speaker 4: of her up actions. I honestly don't think she has 1351 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,600 Speaker 4: much of a consciousness at this point. But that's just me. 1352 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:19,480 Speaker 2: Brother. Where are you at with your counsel. You're supposed 1353 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:21,720 Speaker 2: to be there to be like, hey, this is all wrong, 1354 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:25,760 Speaker 2: this is misplaced. You are setting yourself up for a 1355 00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:29,960 Speaker 2: huge mess and pain and suffering, not just you, but 1356 00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,160 Speaker 2: a whole other family. Do you not see that. 1357 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,040 Speaker 4: He looking not be the guy that doesn't give advice 1358 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,200 Speaker 4: unless they say, hey, so, what do you think of that? 1359 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:38,000 Speaker 2: That's me for a while, I just don't know. It 1360 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,520 Speaker 2: feels like you need to be saying things immediately. 1361 00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:43,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, oh, absolutely. Honestly don't think she has much of 1362 00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,320 Speaker 4: a conscious at this point. But that's just me. Now, 1363 00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:48,000 Speaker 4: my sister and John are splitting up, not divorcing. She 1364 00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,520 Speaker 4: moved into its own house with a girl, in which 1365 00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:53,040 Speaker 4: she got all the furniture, and John agreed because it 1366 00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:55,080 Speaker 4: was the right thing to do. And John is moving 1367 00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,680 Speaker 4: into it on apartment alone. They haven't filed divorce papers. 1368 00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,120 Speaker 4: We were eating dinner alone one night and he told me, 1369 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,360 Speaker 4: I told your sister, I wasn't going to give up 1370 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,240 Speaker 4: even if it unlived me. I know I can't love 1371 00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:07,919 Speaker 4: someone else, and he was going to wait for her. 1372 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:11,240 Speaker 4: He has been writing her letters. He was crying in everything. 1373 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,160 Speaker 4: What it was down bad. I need to see a 1374 00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:14,720 Speaker 4: picture of this woman right now. 1375 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,560 Speaker 2: Oh Lord. 1376 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,920 Speaker 4: So now I'm stuck on the sidelines watching this disaster unfold. 1377 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,800 Speaker 4: I feel bad for my nieces who know that mommy 1378 00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:24,680 Speaker 4: doesn't love daddy anymore, and for John, who's been like 1379 00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:26,560 Speaker 4: a brother to me since I was seven. I think 1380 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,320 Speaker 4: he needs to know now and that she has to 1381 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,520 Speaker 4: tell him. But she said she never will, and I 1382 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,760 Speaker 4: told her the truth will come out somehow. Her reply was, whatever, 1383 00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,280 Speaker 4: if it happens, it happens. She doesn't realize she's still 1384 00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:40,240 Speaker 4: pretty financially dependent on him, and he's an amazing guy. 1385 00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,160 Speaker 4: She doesn't realize that what she's doing is a mistake. 1386 00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,040 Speaker 4: I told her to put the guy out of his 1387 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,760 Speaker 4: effing misery. He needs to know the truth, and I'm 1388 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,400 Speaker 4: so tempted to tell him my boyfriend said to leave 1389 00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:53,840 Speaker 4: an anonymous note somehow, but that also would feel wrong. 1390 00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,160 Speaker 4: I don't know what to do or what to think of. 1391 00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:58,680 Speaker 4: This whole thing makes me so sick. Edit posted the 1392 00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,640 Speaker 4: wrong Subreddit. Still knew he also, She told me so. 1393 01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:04,160 Speaker 4: I showed me the matching tattoo she got with the 1394 01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:06,360 Speaker 4: guy today. She showed me two minutes ago. 1395 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:07,520 Speaker 2: Oh my god, we have. 1396 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,120 Speaker 4: An update, a freaking update. Dude, do you know what 1397 01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:11,520 Speaker 4: to do? What's the hard thing to do right now? 1398 01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,680 Speaker 4: To go to all of it? It's all hard, No, 1399 01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:16,640 Speaker 4: I mean, it's like the hard next action to do? 1400 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,720 Speaker 4: You what do you talk to tell John? 1401 01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:20,560 Speaker 2: Right, it's all hard to tell John, to not tell John, 1402 01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,479 Speaker 2: to tell her to tell John. It's all hard. 1403 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:24,640 Speaker 4: Well, the hardest thing to do is to tell John. 1404 01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,320 Speaker 4: And you have to do that. You have to do. 1405 01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,400 Speaker 2: You have to this with the context that was provided 1406 01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,200 Speaker 2: there where it's like he's been like a brother since 1407 01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:33,400 Speaker 2: you were seven. It's like, all right, now, that's that's 1408 01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,840 Speaker 2: another equally like trust bound relationship. As the one that 1409 01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,600 Speaker 2: you have with your sister, But it sounds like you 1410 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:44,040 Speaker 2: are awful at convincing or telling people to do things. 1411 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,560 Speaker 2: Because what it's like working to your advice man, the 1412 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,919 Speaker 2: fact that your sister feels nothing. I don't know. It's 1413 01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:53,040 Speaker 2: like it's your parents' job to raise your siblings, right, 1414 01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,280 Speaker 2: But it's like you're her older brother, like you're supposed 1415 01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,400 Speaker 2: to be part of her moral compass, Like you need 1416 01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:01,160 Speaker 2: to be giving her more active counsel here. And if 1417 01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,760 Speaker 2: she really is fully in the camp of I don't 1418 01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,920 Speaker 2: care whatever happens, if it comes out, it comes out, 1419 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,200 Speaker 2: then yeah, at this point, she does need to face 1420 01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,120 Speaker 2: the music, and if she's not going to do it herself, 1421 01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:11,360 Speaker 2: you need to be the one to do it here, 1422 01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,200 Speaker 2: especially if you actually value John's friendship and like have 1423 01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:16,120 Speaker 2: known him for so long for oh my god. 1424 01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,360 Speaker 4: You got enough day, all right. First of all, I 1425 01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,360 Speaker 4: want to thank all the people who actually gave sound 1426 01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:21,400 Speaker 4: and proper advice, and I want to point out those 1427 01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,680 Speaker 4: who claim that I did not slash care so I 1428 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:26,040 Speaker 4: should give a crap about John, that I truly don't 1429 01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,440 Speaker 4: consider him my brother and I'm a horrible person, and 1430 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,560 Speaker 4: that you don't know my whole life story. You should 1431 01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:32,760 Speaker 4: have judged others. That being said, The next time, my 1432 01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,720 Speaker 4: sister gossiped to me about her latest day with Mark. Yeah, 1433 01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:39,160 Speaker 4: they're still going together and going strong, as she puts it, 1434 01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:42,080 Speaker 4: and he left his wife too. I told her I 1435 01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,480 Speaker 4: didn't agree with what she did at all. I told 1436 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,360 Speaker 4: her she was a compulsive liar and she should seriously 1437 01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:51,160 Speaker 4: seek professional help with her narcissism lack of consciousness, and 1438 01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:55,200 Speaker 4: you go toaskical tendencies. Surprise, she is only full of 1439 01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,480 Speaker 4: herself in this situation, but with everything else in life. 1440 01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,640 Speaker 4: I also mentioned how I know she must know it's wrong, 1441 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,560 Speaker 4: and how she's capable of lying for aso effing long, 1442 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:07,440 Speaker 4: and she should just divorce John and put him out 1443 01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,080 Speaker 4: of his effing miniseriy. She told me she knows, and 1444 01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,919 Speaker 4: that she feels bad, and that she's going to file 1445 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:13,920 Speaker 4: for divorce, et cetera. I ask her, are you ever 1446 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:15,479 Speaker 4: going to tell John? She said to me, I feel 1447 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,160 Speaker 4: bad about the whole thing, but there's no reason to 1448 01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:20,600 Speaker 4: tell him now because it's pointless. Oh my blood boiled, 1449 01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,680 Speaker 4: But all I said was okay. At that point I 1450 01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,200 Speaker 4: realized she was hopeless to talk to mind you. She's 1451 01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,920 Speaker 4: eleven years younger than me, and although her maturity is 1452 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,680 Speaker 4: practically non existent as the past couple of years, she 1453 01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:34,240 Speaker 4: acts like a love struck thirteen year old. Constantly she 1454 01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:37,600 Speaker 4: thinks of me below her. My family has always ingrained 1455 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,240 Speaker 4: the thought that you are older, you can do whatever 1456 01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,000 Speaker 4: you want. If someone calls you younger, it isn't okay, 1457 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:45,200 Speaker 4: and they have no right to do so simply because 1458 01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,840 Speaker 4: you are younger than you. Okay, so Opi is nineteen, 1459 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,520 Speaker 4: he's not thirty. There's gotta be something going on here yet. Yeah, 1460 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:53,480 Speaker 4: so Opie is nineteen, she's twenty nine older. 1461 01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:56,160 Speaker 2: Well, that makes more sense as to why he was 1462 01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:59,480 Speaker 2: not really putting the screws into the counseling there. It's like, 1463 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,600 Speaker 2: he's so you're the younger brother. That makes more sense. 1464 01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:04,760 Speaker 4: Now she's not gonna listen to you. I got fed 1465 01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,800 Speaker 4: up with everything. So the next time I saw John, 1466 01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:09,520 Speaker 4: I told him we were sitting down relaxing. No one 1467 01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,200 Speaker 4: else was around us. He started talking about my sister again, 1468 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,360 Speaker 4: but I stopped him. He went like this, listen, I'm 1469 01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:16,040 Speaker 4: gonna be honest with you, and I understand if you 1470 01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,640 Speaker 4: never want to speak to any of us again. But 1471 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,000 Speaker 4: my sister has been cheating or was has been lying 1472 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,000 Speaker 4: to you for the past couple of years. First with Dan, 1473 01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,640 Speaker 4: and you know Dan, and I know you got a 1474 01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,960 Speaker 4: good feeling. It was right now with Mark, whom you 1475 01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,520 Speaker 4: may also know, and she claims she's really in love 1476 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,800 Speaker 4: with him. I'm sick of tired of keeping quiet because 1477 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,840 Speaker 4: it isn't fair, and I feel like you won't let 1478 01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,400 Speaker 4: go until you know for sure. He's stayed quiet and 1479 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,959 Speaker 4: looked down at the table. He said, I always knew 1480 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,200 Speaker 4: she was being unfaithful. I had the feeling, but I 1481 01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,680 Speaker 4: never wanted to admit it because of your sister. Or 1482 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,120 Speaker 4: was the love of my life. I had two beautiful 1483 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,720 Speaker 4: girls with her, and I kept thinking that things would 1484 01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,680 Speaker 4: get better. I guess I was wrong. This post is 1485 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:55,000 Speaker 4: already too long. So I basically apologized to him numerous times, 1486 01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,439 Speaker 4: and he said he didn't blame me because he knows 1487 01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:00,000 Speaker 4: how unreasonable my family is, and I was only saying, 1488 01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:03,560 Speaker 4: and I'm still only starting college now. You also thank 1489 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,480 Speaker 4: me for being honest with him and that he knew 1490 01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,920 Speaker 4: you'd down. There was no repairing things with my sister. 1491 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,160 Speaker 4: I asked him if he would confront her, knowing very 1492 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:12,400 Speaker 4: well I would get in trouble for spilling the beans. 1493 01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,520 Speaker 4: But at this point, I don't IFNE care why I 1494 01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:16,600 Speaker 4: continue to be part of a sick lie. And he 1495 01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:19,440 Speaker 4: said no, only because it's not like she's going to 1496 01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,040 Speaker 4: change her behavior and it's going to start drama. And guys, 1497 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:24,920 Speaker 4: if you love drama just like this, go to your 1498 01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:27,520 Speaker 4: favorite podcast platform. Search up Okay story Time for more 1499 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,400 Speaker 4: crazy stories just like this. We have tons of them. Dakota, 1500 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,800 Speaker 4: what are your thoughts about him not confronting his ex. 1501 01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:36,320 Speaker 2: That's fine at this point, honestly, just move on. Really, 1502 01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:39,360 Speaker 2: you've gotten the cold water. You already knew it too. 1503 01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:41,760 Speaker 2: He's like, I knew she's been unfaithful. I just thought 1504 01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:44,439 Speaker 2: maybe it'd get better. It's like, brother, that's a sad, 1505 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:48,800 Speaker 2: sad story. I think, Uh, you know your sister's a 1506 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:51,680 Speaker 2: home record, bro. And now that we know you're the 1507 01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:53,960 Speaker 2: younger brother not the older brother, I take back everything 1508 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:57,200 Speaker 2: I've said, yeah about what you should have been doing 1509 01:04:57,280 --> 01:04:59,640 Speaker 2: or could have been doing, especially given the dynamic you 1510 01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:01,520 Speaker 2: describe be in your family. It doesn't sound like there's 1511 01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:04,560 Speaker 2: any way you could have flipped her to change her behavior. Anyway. 1512 01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:07,480 Speaker 2: So I'm just glad you have not been corrupted by 1513 01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:10,520 Speaker 2: her rotten moral compass. So that's nice. 1514 01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,600 Speaker 4: That is nice. He said he found a nice apartment 1515 01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:15,280 Speaker 4: for himself and that once the divorce is final he 1516 01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,560 Speaker 4: can simply continue to be a good dad and get 1517 01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:19,800 Speaker 4: over everything that's happened. I've seen him a few times 1518 01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:22,360 Speaker 4: since then. We're still close. I'm looking forward to seeing 1519 01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:24,560 Speaker 4: him find a girl who actually cares about him, and 1520 01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,919 Speaker 4: I regret not growing a pair sooner. But now it's over. 1521 01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,080 Speaker 4: My sister continues on with Mark, but she's on her 1522 01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,480 Speaker 4: own now. Thanks for hearing me out, guys, and you 1523 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,120 Speaker 4: have learned a life lesson my friend. And that is 1524 01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:35,240 Speaker 4: the end of this episode. 1525 01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:39,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, so if you love us, make sure you subscribe. 1526 01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:40,920 Speaker 4: He freaking love you and 1527 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:42,400 Speaker 2: See you tomorrow.