Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrid Bled.
Speaker 1: This is y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm your girl, Mandy b aka Peta Sign aka PEG
Speaker 2: and Marco aka I'm out here fucking these niggas aka
Speaker 2: a dad bit. You've been out here these niggas. So
Speaker 2: I was not fucking these niggas for like a year.
Speaker 2: I was healing.
Speaker 1: Okay, babe, I didn't like that my name is weezy
Speaker 1: and Mandy's line.
Speaker 2: Mandy was getting dick once in a blue and if
Speaker 2: she didn't like it, it didn't care. It was fingers.
Speaker 2: I got finger banged, but I wasn't getting dick while
Speaker 2: I was really being celibate. Girl.
Speaker 1: You weren't celibate, you was said, I was said. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I don't know if this was gonna be a PG episode,
Speaker 1: but I really wanted us to do an episode talking
Speaker 1: about sexuality.
Speaker 2: And this isn't gonna be PEG. We're gonna find a
Speaker 2: way for this. I almost said sexuality and kids, it's
Speaker 2: not that.
Speaker 1: So I had experience and I was telling Mandy about
Speaker 1: and maybe we talked about horrible where I had to
Speaker 1: talk to my friend's kid about their period and about sex,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know how to do
Speaker 1: this like this, so we brought it an expert. We
Speaker 1: have Tara Hi who wrote into horrible in our posts.
Speaker 1: You have a youth sexpert program, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So we are a nonprofit organization. We are a
Speaker 3: sex ed training program. So essentially students fourteen through eighteen
Speaker 3: can come for weekly sessions for a semester and it's
Speaker 3: comprehensive sex education and communications training so that they can
Speaker 3: learn how to become their own communities sexpert.
Speaker 2: But this is this is outside of their school, like
Speaker 2: they have to come to a separate location for it.
Speaker 4: So this is all digital. So we work with kids
Speaker 4: through who are all over the US.
Speaker 3: So in our last cohort, we had students from Arizona, Florida,
Speaker 3: New York, Massachusetts.
Speaker 4: Off the top of my head, how.
Speaker 1: Do you kids find it?
Speaker 4: Mostly through social media?
Speaker 3: That's where we've seen the most succisay during our off season,
Speaker 3: when we're not in program, we do everything that we
Speaker 3: can to like advertise. So just earlier yesterday we were
Speaker 3: at youth Summit and myc got to talk to a
Speaker 3: bunch of students there, so we try to find places
Speaker 3: where students are at and tell them about the program.
Speaker 1: To parents send their kids.
Speaker 3: So we basically we knew that we had to either
Speaker 3: work hand in hand with schools or hand in hand
Speaker 3: with parents, and we decided to kind of go the
Speaker 3: individual famili's route, which in hindsight was a great decision
Speaker 3: because we've run into so much bullshit trying to work
Speaker 3: with schools even just to get.
Speaker 4: The word out about programming.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so we need parents sign off, and so
Speaker 3: our on our staff we have a parent liaison who
Speaker 3: works with students to get that parent permission because we
Speaker 3: understand that can be like a really big barrier.
Speaker 1: Does I'm thinking, I feel like at a certain age,
Speaker 1: if you can't learn it from your parents and then
Speaker 1: you need them to sign off and they don't, your fucked.
Speaker 2: It's crazy because that's actually I was literally scrolling somebody
Speaker 2: called me, so I missed it. I was scrolling through
Speaker 2: our comments on our solo episode actually, and it's crazy.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the conversation was, but someone literally wrote, oh,
Speaker 2: let me find it. I tried to screenshot it earlier.
Speaker 1: Someone literally wrote.
Speaker 2: Lol Mandy talking about black families having to talk about
Speaker 2: sex that just doesn't happen, and literally I'm just like, well,
Speaker 2: it should and we shouldn't depend on sex ed in
Speaker 2: schools because we know that that's not happening either, which
Speaker 2: is why we have a whole generation, multiple generations, people
Speaker 2: figuring out sex into their twenties, thirties, forties. I mean,
Speaker 2: when my mom came to our first live show, like,
Speaker 2: there was a little touching moment where she was like,
Speaker 2: I'm a little jealous that you're being able to explore
Speaker 2: yourself in your twenties and thirties, like she's in her
Speaker 2: fifties and still figuring out herself because of this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely had a similar moment even with my
Speaker 3: parents where I feel like my parents were the best
Speaker 3: parents ever. But even in the role that I have now,
Speaker 3: I've done so many like interviews or had so many
Speaker 3: moments where I've like, Luke, you had to put them
Speaker 3: on blast and be like, y'all did not talk to
Speaker 3: me about sex.
Speaker 4: And I know that that sucks.
Speaker 3: For them to hear, but it's kind of the truth,
Speaker 3: and it was something that really motivated me in starting
Speaker 3: this program. So to what you were saying, we we
Speaker 3: know that, like having parent permission as a requirement is
Speaker 3: like a huge issue, and like a reason.
Speaker 2: I don't know that, don't we didn't We all sign
Speaker 2: our parents' names like like sority.
Speaker 1: Like baby, I know my mom is thinking much better
Speaker 1: than mine and my.
Speaker 2: Dad stead He was like, why does twenty dollars in
Speaker 2: the checks keep coming up?
Speaker 4: Maybe?
Speaker 1: All I know is my mama signed. She ain't no
Speaker 1: unless I needed some money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when it comes to Okay, So when they're getting there, right,
Speaker 2: these kids are looking up stay on the younger side.
Speaker 1: What is their number one one question? Can I guess? Actually?
Speaker 4: Yeah, please go?
Speaker 2: Can I get what you're guessing? Your number one question
Speaker 2: that children ask? Yeah, like I'm guessing number one.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: By that, I mean like I don't know top three
Speaker 2: how to get pregnant. I'm gonna say, does it hurt?
Speaker 1: It? Does it hurt?
Speaker 4: Does it hurt? I feel like we haven't gotten those questions.
Speaker 3: I feel you'd be surprised teenagers by how nuanced the
Speaker 3: conversations get. Like we had one student in our last
Speaker 3: court and she kept asking these questions that I had
Speaker 3: never heard before. And I've been doing sex ed for
Speaker 3: years and years, and I remember like one question she asked.
Speaker 3: There was no answer for it on the internet. It
Speaker 3: was something about like keegel muscles and people with penises
Speaker 3: and whether that was the muscle that I don't even
Speaker 3: know something related to that, and I remember there was
Speaker 3: no answer anywhere on the internet. So I started hitting
Speaker 3: up all of my male friends, being like, when you
Speaker 3: like flex this muscle, does it do this, and like
Speaker 3: trying to like source for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that
Speaker 3: was like her question, and so I was like.
Speaker 2: Trying to source teenagers asking about a man's kegels and
Speaker 2: making a dick jump.
Speaker 1: Yep, Oh, they ain't real advancing. That's that.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know a dick jump till I was
Speaker 2: twenty four. It took me a while to see a
Speaker 2: nigga do a little and I like that. Now I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie. I had my man do a little
Speaker 2: dick jump the other day and I was like, you can.
Speaker 1: Make your titty jump too. He went left right, And
Speaker 1: now I'm convinced.
Speaker 2: He wait, he didn't wait, he could make his boobs
Speaker 2: like move, he just could. He like, it's just your chest,
Speaker 2: the pecks.
Speaker 4: I'm seeing women who could do that.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I know, but but I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 2: I would be he had a different light, bitch that
Speaker 2: nigga was a strip.
Speaker 1: B He's really laughing, like, I don't know why you
Speaker 1: think that. I'm like, I see it, I feel it.
Speaker 1: You can give me really good massages.
Speaker 2: Suddenly, Yo, Dick just could jump on a man and
Speaker 2: your titty pop's giving sex worker.
Speaker 1: It's giving jump phone nick list dude. Okay, so, uh
Speaker 1: fourteen through eighteen. I do want to talk about teenagers, yes,
Speaker 1: but I also want to talk about younger younger, some
Speaker 1: period stuff. I think that's like the number one thing.
Speaker 1: And this is two kids, by the way, that I
Speaker 1: helped with friends. Why are why are they trusting you?
Speaker 1: Because they just like, oh, you're a sex educator. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I teach hold him through. You already saw what happened?
Speaker 1: What was it in Dallas?
Speaker 2: I said that I was watching my friend kids because
Speaker 2: she had to go to work real quick, and I
Speaker 2: was like, girl, I got you, and and Chrystal was like,
Speaker 2: I need to talk to Brett because she's leaving you.
Speaker 1: With her kids.
Speaker 2: Like I get the ad. The kids, Oh they're like
Speaker 2: four and six, and I don't do that.
Speaker 1: Shut up.
Speaker 2: And then my other homegirl was mad because we was
Speaker 2: drooling over Tie Dolla signed together, and she was like,
Speaker 2: my daughter is thirteen. Can you not be sitting here
Speaker 2: talking about Tie dollar Sign and how.
Speaker 4: She's gonna talk about it anyway. She don't talk about
Speaker 4: them anyway.
Speaker 1: You know. Well, here's the thing. When people don't have
Speaker 1: kids and they start watching toddlers. I don't it sound
Speaker 1: like you're you'd be terrible around the kids. I think
Speaker 1: the only thing I'd be worried about is your mouth. No,
Speaker 1: no, no no. So here's the thing. It sounds like you're
Speaker 1: gonna stay and fuck to these kids. But Mandy gonna
Speaker 1: be on the phone. It was. It was perfect. So
Speaker 1: this this is the new kid era.
Speaker 2: Shout out to the Talas and Technology iPad time and
Speaker 2: they put their headphones on and they be in the iPad.
Speaker 2: I had to do shit. I was on my laptop,
Speaker 2: they was on the iPads. It worked out what and
Speaker 2: I was like, y'all good? And then I came over
Speaker 2: with some little cake pots from Starbucks.
Speaker 1: They loved me. It was good. I was such a
Speaker 1: judgy person about parents. I don't know if anyone else
Speaker 1: has had this moment, this listening. I would be on
Speaker 1: a plane or something. I'd be like, look at a restaurant.
Speaker 1: Look at these kids glued to the iPad. This is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Their eyes are so focused on this. Blah blah blah. Bitch.
Speaker 1: I watched a three year old the other day for
Speaker 1: six hours.
Speaker 2: Here, you want my portable battery butt? H uh huh,
Speaker 2: yeah no, I do think. What why I don't know
Speaker 2: how to write a curse up today? I mean listen,
Speaker 2: and they know the internet anyway, Okay, let's get back
Speaker 2: to uh.
Speaker 1: I was a gonna say sex and kids.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, this is second use the sex education.
Speaker 1: I did actually want to cut this really quick, and
Speaker 1: I know you're here so you can help us with
Speaker 1: some of this dialogue. Okay, Mandy and I had a
Speaker 1: conversation a few weeks ago about rising rates on HIV
Speaker 1: and we got a letter from a listener with a
Speaker 1: bunch of info about PREP and DOXY. And I think
Speaker 1: it's perfect because you can jump in on this. Ladies.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of the show. Most recent episode,
Speaker 1: you were discussing PREP and DOXY and I wanted to
Speaker 1: give you info to share with listeners in case they're
Speaker 1: unfamiliar for background, I am a gay man who's been
Speaker 1: on PREP for seven years. PREP stands for pre exposure
Speaker 1: prophylaxis YEP, which means you take it before a possible
Speaker 1: exposure as protection. There are three different types of PREP
Speaker 1: true Rada, Deskovi, and the newest is APT Preytude. I've
Speaker 1: never heard this. Truvada and Dscovie are both pills you
Speaker 1: take daily. A Apptitude is an injection YEP with the
Speaker 1: first two sho oh, that's the shot yep. Okay, with
Speaker 1: the first two shots taken one month apart, and then
Speaker 1: one shot every other month. I believe Truvada and Applitude
Speaker 1: are the only approved PREP medications for women, however, and
Speaker 1: Truvada is the one I'm sure you ask Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what I asked for. Back to the day, PEP stands
Speaker 1: for post exposure prophylaxis. With PEP, you can take it
Speaker 1: within seventy two hours of a possible exposure. This is
Speaker 1: the pill. If anybody remembers that I told my homeboy
Speaker 1: to get that he was taken. It's one pill taken
Speaker 1: every day for twenty eight days. Okay, that's not the
Speaker 1: one he got and it lowers the risk of contracting
Speaker 1: HIV by more than eighty percent. No, this should only
Speaker 1: be taken in emergency situations and not something you rely
Speaker 1: on frequently after having unprotected sex, because it is one
Speaker 1: of those that you can become like whatever.
Speaker 3: So it's an anti viral, right, and my understanding is
Speaker 3: both of them are in anti virals. So you want
Speaker 3: to be really careful with the medication because it's the
Speaker 3: same type of medication that's used to treat HIV if
Speaker 3: you do test positive.
Speaker 4: At any point. So you don't want your body to
Speaker 4: become like there we can.
Speaker 1: If you take it too much. That's yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: could happen. You have more information, yeah, sop. He also
Speaker 1: brings up He says, emphasizing again that PREP and PEP
Speaker 1: produces your risk of contracting HIV only not other SuDS
Speaker 1: and seis now doxy PEP. That's the one I gave
Speaker 1: my friend my bad. It's post exposure preventive medication doxy cycling,
Speaker 1: which is an antibiotic, and with doxy you take two
Speaker 1: pills at the same time within seventy two hours of exposure,
Speaker 1: and it reduces syphilis, chlamytee and Gonnrhia risk obviously talk
Speaker 1: with healthcare providers, hoping this information will get you started.
Speaker 1: Best law. I thought that was helpful, absolutely, because I
Speaker 1: know we were just spitballing about what we know.
Speaker 2: So just a little run and I love if there's
Speaker 2: any other healthcare providers too. I know someone reached out
Speaker 2: to me from an Atlanta clinic who actually administers it,
Speaker 2: like that's what their focus is on, and me and
Speaker 2: Cinnamon are looking to do that. So anyone who has
Speaker 2: any information about PEP prep all the things, please reach
Speaker 2: out in our email because I would love to.
Speaker 1: Communicate with you guys. Yeah, when we can get a
Speaker 1: gilead or talk to treat on, I'll let you know
Speaker 1: I'll okay with them, all right, Vanello? Shit, So I
Speaker 1: want to talk about some of the stats you had
Speaker 1: on your Instagram. Oh, Youth Sexpert program, Americans say sex
Speaker 1: that in school did not prepare them for sex in
Speaker 1: real life. That's an eight, that's a no ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: anybody that. I don't think anyone learned that. However, I
Speaker 1: feel like all of us in the room should talk
Speaker 1: about one thing we actually learned from it. You know
Speaker 1: what's crazy.
Speaker 2: The only thing that I remember is for the ladies
Speaker 2: specifically is abstinence, which teaching abstinence takes it away from
Speaker 2: you learning anything the fuck else. Yeah, so it's literally, hey,
Speaker 2: don't have sex otherwise you're gonna get pregnant or die.
Speaker 2: And that's literally it. It was like, you're gonna catch
Speaker 2: a TIV or you're gonna get pregnant. You don't want
Speaker 2: to do either, so just stay away from dick. That's
Speaker 2: that's what they taught me in school. I remember learning
Speaker 2: I had another hole that It was crazy, what do
Speaker 2: you mean another hole? You know, when they blow up
Speaker 2: the picture of the pussy. I was like like, you'reth Yeah,
Speaker 2: I thought you thought the dick was gonna go into
Speaker 2: that little pio.
Speaker 1: No, I thought I was peeing out of my pussy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, question. And I also thought that at something.
Speaker 2: Well, you learned that in sex head not anatomy, because
Speaker 2: isn't that anatomy? First of all, bitch, you're asking me
Speaker 2: a lot of things. I'll say at school today, you.
Speaker 1: Went to literally the human body, which I think is anatomy. No,
Speaker 1: but that I remember that being sex said, because we
Speaker 1: were started talking about uh where it goes blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But I remember thinking, like, I don't pee out my pussy,
Speaker 1: but I do pe out my pus what and like, yo,
Speaker 1: it fucked me up. All I know is they damn sure,
Speaker 1: I ain't teach that a woman could take dick in
Speaker 1: the boodahle Like there was no conversation about women at
Speaker 1: all having anal sex ever. That was just that was
Speaker 1: just man sex. That's that's the whole for a man
Speaker 1: to go in. Do you talk about anal sex?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we talk about We talk about everything.
Speaker 1: How do you talk about anal sex?
Speaker 3: The teenagers honestly, openly and honestly and prioritizing safety. We
Speaker 3: tell them, if you're using butt plugs at any point,
Speaker 3: you want to pick a toy with a base, you
Speaker 3: lots of lou breathe in and out.
Speaker 2: WHOA Okay, so I have me and me weezy and
Speaker 2: who else was on that episode? All I know is
Speaker 2: we had a conversation where a teacher was fired for
Speaker 2: teaching children how to masturbate, and we all were talking
Speaker 2: about what is too much for a teacher to share
Speaker 2: or someone that's not the parent. So I want to
Speaker 2: ask you, yes, there's a permission slip, but do you
Speaker 2: not think that teaching teenagers about how to lube up
Speaker 2: and buy certain sized butt plugs? Is that too much
Speaker 2: for someone that's not a parent to be talking about
Speaker 2: sex to a child.
Speaker 3: So as a part of that answer, I'll say that
Speaker 3: on our consent forms, we offer opt in and opt
Speaker 3: out options for each individual lesson, the hook there being
Speaker 3: that if a parent is uncomfortable with a certain topic
Speaker 3: or wants to address it in their home privately, we
Speaker 3: have thousand percent respect that.
Speaker 1: We tell me more, what kind of stuff can you
Speaker 1: opt out from?
Speaker 4: So we give a blurb for what each lesson includes.
Speaker 3: So we have lessons on self pleasure, We tell parents
Speaker 3: that we're going to be talking about sex toys. We
Speaker 3: have lessons on and even like what sex worker rights
Speaker 3: look like around the world. We have lessons on, yeah,
Speaker 3: what BDSM looks like. And the parents, Yeah, the parents
Speaker 3: who do sign sign up, or at least with our
Speaker 3: last cohort, they signed, they opted in for everything.
Speaker 2: I wonder how many I wonder how many of these
Speaker 2: parents that are opting for their children to learn all
Speaker 2: of these things are in lifestyle Because I just recently
Speaker 2: came across an article where they were questioning the psychological
Speaker 2: effects of children growing up in lifestyle homes where their
Speaker 2: parents may throw orgies or clearly their auntsy is the unicorn,
Speaker 2: and what kind of psychological effect that could have on
Speaker 2: the children that are present in the all.
Speaker 1: But I'm sorry, go ahead, sorry, I will say.
Speaker 3: On the other side of things, there's tons of research
Speaker 3: around how students who actually receive truly comprehensive sex education
Speaker 3: are more likely to make their sexual debut later on
Speaker 3: in life. So thinking about, yeah, how much mystery there
Speaker 3: is around sex leading to all of that curiosity, and
Speaker 3: then combine that with the lack of education, you have
Speaker 3: young people who are engaging in partnered sex, maybe at
Speaker 3: a younger age than they otherwise would and maybe aren't.
Speaker 1: I was judging you about a few minutes ago. No no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, but let me that's fine, let me go.
Speaker 2: Out right, like, yeah, it changed my mind when I realized, yes,
Speaker 2: you're right.
Speaker 1: So at first I was like, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: she teaching kids mediasm for it? Like that was going
Speaker 1: on in my brain. However, what you just said true,
Speaker 1: My mom talked about sex so much at home. Obviously,
Speaker 1: you guys know I was fucking right. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to safety, when it came to the first time
Speaker 1: a man was aggressive with me, when it came to
Speaker 1: sex with women, like, I felt so comfortable having discussions
Speaker 1: and coming to her because I'm gonna do it anyway. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: and you went sorry, But I do so. I also
Speaker 1: think the number one thing I remembered not that my
Speaker 1: debut took a certain amount of time. However pressure a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends that didn't want to have sex
Speaker 1: with boys at a certain age kind of did. I
Speaker 1: felt very secure and understanding about saying no, what things
Speaker 1: look like, or when guys told me, oh, well, I'm
Speaker 1: hard and it's gonna hurt if this and that, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, teenage boys are pressuring. Yeah, I do think
Speaker 1: because I had a little bit of advanced sex said
Speaker 1: that saved me from some uncomfortable situations. Yeah, and you're right.
Speaker 1: The curiosity of what things are like may keep a
Speaker 1: kid from.
Speaker 2: Fucking now, because it's like, if you're going to go
Speaker 2: out and start exploring BDSM or looking it up on
Speaker 2: your own without.
Speaker 1: An expert telling you, I see what you're saying, I'm
Speaker 1: go ahead.
Speaker 3: I think that there are a lot of conversations that
Speaker 3: people are increasingly more comfortable having with young people, like
Speaker 3: conversations about consent or boundaries or barrier methods or things
Speaker 3: like that that you might see in conventional sex head
Speaker 3: I think the prob a little bit there is it's
Speaker 3: not like once you hit eighteen and you're at that
Speaker 3: age appropriate marker that they're somewhere for you to magically
Speaker 3: learn all of this. You're still picking things up as
Speaker 3: you go and still a lot of the time not
Speaker 3: making decisions that are empowered informed, et cetera. So even
Speaker 3: if we view it as educating young people for their future,
Speaker 3: that is better to me than just leaving them with
Speaker 3: no resources, just leaving them to their own devices.
Speaker 2: Can I ask I would love to know in terms
Speaker 2: of having these open conversations about sex. I know, as
Speaker 2: a millennial, the narrative was if you fuck a boy,
Speaker 2: he'll like you more. What is the conversation around teaching
Speaker 2: women that given the pussy up to these little boys,
Speaker 2: ain't gonna make this motherfucker like you more, ain't gonna
Speaker 2: make him treat you better, ain't gona make him give
Speaker 2: you more attention. Because I just know that that was
Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, yeah, is.
Speaker 1: The sex said that, like because that's not necessarily sex,
Speaker 1: but you know, experience, but do you talk about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we we try to talk about the social aspect
Speaker 3: of things, especially like incorporating like TikTok, and we're we're
Speaker 3: huge on social like we're really into social media our team,
Speaker 3: so we try to like, yeah, bring it to them,
Speaker 3: and we try to also like see what the conversations
Speaker 3: are that are happening on social media. I would say
Speaker 3: in regards to that in particular, I think a big
Speaker 3: part of that is like really going back to the
Speaker 3: beginning and defining what sex is, what sex means. So
Speaker 3: when we're having conversations about birth control, abortion things like that,
Speaker 3: we have conversations about is the purpose of sex reproduction?
Speaker 3: Or when we're having conversations about self pleasure, we have
Speaker 3: conversations about is this also sex?
Speaker 1: I would love to tell you real quick, I actually
Speaker 1: really want to know you're maybe let's just say you're
Speaker 1: in a small class of two or three people, right
Speaker 1: and fourteen and you start talking about self pleasure. You
Speaker 1: know in your brain that you're educating these kids, But
Speaker 1: is there a party that feels like, oh god, this
Speaker 1: is getting awkward or weird?
Speaker 3: No, really, I think I also had been doing sex
Speaker 3: education for years before, and so whatever sort of oh
Speaker 3: my god, this is so weird, like why am I
Speaker 3: talking about sex in this space?
Speaker 1: Well, pleasure, to me, though, is a harder conversation have been.
Speaker 1: That's what we had to come Yeah, that's really what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, not you teaching kids even beds. I'm
Speaker 1: to be honest, Hey, this is bondage, this is this.
Speaker 1: These can be restrained. This is a safe word. But
Speaker 1: leasure aspect pleasure is interesting, Like when you're talking about
Speaker 1: self pleasure with teenagers, are you talking about privacy or
Speaker 1: we're talking about how to do it? Or are you
Speaker 1: just talking about why no shame around it?
Speaker 4: What is it?
Speaker 3: So we definitely talk about privacy, we definitely have really
Speaker 3: in depth conversations about the logistics of self pleasure. We
Speaker 3: do talk about sex twice. I remember that lesson in
Speaker 3: particular being pretty striking for me because we had an
Speaker 3: interactive activity where we were having kids connect the name
Speaker 3: of the sex toy to the toy. Every single one
Speaker 3: of our students knew every single They were like, that's
Speaker 3: a butt plug, that's a dil dough, that's a rabbit,
Speaker 3: vibrator and I was like, oh, okay, so they.
Speaker 1: Found their parents. Bro, it's just a different time to
Speaker 1: me in my opinion. I know I'm meeting a lot of.
Speaker 2: In shout out to some of the people in Dallas,
Speaker 2: two people said they've been listening to a side since
Speaker 2: I school.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I want to say this because in my brain I
Speaker 1: think people in their thirties and forties listen horrible. But
Speaker 1: I just had a conversation last night we man where
Speaker 1: we were like, Bro, do you remember when we had
Speaker 1: to run to the computer to figure out what something
Speaker 1: was and keep looking and waiting for some to download
Speaker 1: and watching it and looking at it. And you're pre
Speaker 1: exposed to all this, like.
Speaker 2: All of it, even through television and the TV shows
Speaker 2: and things that are literally just on basic cable, even.
Speaker 1: The Costay with Merrill where he's like my daughter, he
Speaker 1: said something about his daughter walking and having sex like
Speaker 1: not sorry wife, Yeah, and when it happened, he was like,
Speaker 1: she already knew what this was. Five but it does not.
Speaker 1: It's literally the stuff they're clicking on. Yeah, no, it's
Speaker 1: it's a bit crazy.
Speaker 2: I want to I do want to go back to
Speaker 2: those basic questions that she asked, because I would like
Speaker 2: to know the answers what is sex and is it
Speaker 2: just for reproduction? Like how do you explain that to
Speaker 2: a child?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember that in that lesson particularly, we use
Speaker 3: this Sexplanations video okay, where she talks about trying to
Speaker 3: find a definition herself and it being a really complicated
Speaker 3: and nuanced question. Right. Only sort of universal thing that
Speaker 3: seemed to define sex was consent and that if there
Speaker 3: wasn't consent then it wasn't I like that. But other
Speaker 3: than that, it's a pretty I.
Speaker 2: Really like, I really like that definition. Though if there
Speaker 2: isn't consent, then it's not sex.
Speaker 3: And it's not sex, and even and when you're having
Speaker 3: sex with yourself, like checking in and the concept of
Speaker 3: self consent and thinking through that.
Speaker 4: But yeah, so other than that, it's pretty broad.
Speaker 3: It's open ended. People define sex differently there. Yeah, there
Speaker 3: are so many things that can factor into arousal.
Speaker 2: There's when I was dating a woman that we weren't
Speaker 2: really having sex and I got so you just say
Speaker 2: that ship really well, because sex to a lot of
Speaker 2: people is penis and vagina.
Speaker 1: If it's not that, it's not so we get it.
Speaker 1: I totally understand it.
Speaker 2: That's why I said, even when the tip one in
Speaker 2: your ass, it's anal it was there like or some.
Speaker 1: People it might be.
Speaker 2: To some people it might not because not like sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm not like, was it a you know what you're getting?
Speaker 1: Fuck? Real hardness?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I asked, right, I'm just gonnat take it.
Speaker 1: I'm also trying to think for a second, Oh is
Speaker 1: it mainly girls?
Speaker 4: Yeah? It is mainly girls, And I.
Speaker 2: Think we need we need more men up in there
Speaker 2: learning and consent at an early goddamn age, can't rejection.
Speaker 2: There was just a video I saw going viral that
Speaker 2: a lady was like, Yeah, if a man asks for
Speaker 2: my number, I'm gonna just give it to him because
Speaker 2: I like my life more and the block button works.
Speaker 2: And so the conversations that really need to be taught
Speaker 2: are two little boys yes and teenage boys around rejection,
Speaker 2: around consent, around like even not applying pressure. If a
Speaker 2: girl says no, that means no, that doesn't mean persist
Speaker 2: and keep pushing until she gives in.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: That's really unfortunate that this isn't being pushed even today
Speaker 2: for more boys to learn, especially seeing the Diddy era.
Speaker 2: The me too, Era, the Harvey Weinstein, the R Kelly,
Speaker 2: I could keep going all the names.
Speaker 4: That's yeah, you know, that's something we think a lot about.
Speaker 3: But even like we're trying to be strategic in our branding,
Speaker 3: we try not to use like.
Speaker 4: It is very pain feminine colors. We tried to do
Speaker 4: like green orange.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean even yesterday at summit we got
Speaker 3: to talk to like a lot of teenage boys and
Speaker 3: like that was really cool, or they.
Speaker 2: Asked you about how to please a woman. I feel
Speaker 2: like that's all a little way one to.
Speaker 3: Know they hadn't at that event, but I could totally
Speaker 3: anticipate that being something that happened if we actually had
Speaker 3: What are what are boys for?
Speaker 1: The ones that are joining this program?
Speaker 4: What are they asking? We haven't had any boys yet?
Speaker 4: What haven't had any boys yet?
Speaker 1: It's a girl. We need to make a whole nother
Speaker 1: little up.
Speaker 2: It needs to be the boys sex youth, Like we
Speaker 2: need to make a whole other portion for these teenage boys.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2: And I think what's crazy about it too, is with
Speaker 2: this podcast and with so many women talking about, you know,
Speaker 2: them feeling empowered to have sex out of their own pleasure.
Speaker 2: Women now saying that, go, I'm as horny as a
Speaker 2: man is. It's I believe that younger girls are seeking
Speaker 2: to educate themselves so that they can do I.
Speaker 1: Don't know if men necessarily feel like this warm, super safe,
Speaker 1: you can talk to new space.
Speaker 2: And I don't mean that as men are not that.
Speaker 2: I just think they aren't as vocal women are.
Speaker 1: So what do you need? For example, one of my
Speaker 1: homeboys great an active father, and he said he saw
Speaker 1: a message where his kid was scared to talk to him.
Speaker 1: He's like, we talk all the time, and he was like,
Speaker 1: but I've never said the words you can talk to
Speaker 1: me about X y Z. He was like, I just
Speaker 1: thought being active was enough. And through that conversation, he's like,
Speaker 1: there's so many things you have to spoon feed teenager,
Speaker 1: you know, but women do that and I guess men
Speaker 1: you're just like, oh, you know, you want to be
Speaker 1: the guys. I don't know, but I could see that,
Speaker 1: and I guess maybe it could even be weirder. Are
Speaker 1: there men that work on the youth sexpert There aren't currently,
Speaker 1: but we Yeah, I'm trying to think of so maybe
Speaker 1: it's got to be a man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, part, Look if we have mail board members.
Speaker 1: And get you a part of this program to teach.
Speaker 2: The the you men, Yeah, you'll do it.
Speaker 1: I feel, well, what would you tell them? Would you tell.
Speaker 2: Them, we'll tell them to eat beat you this ship?
Speaker 1: Would you tell them to refrain to have sex and
Speaker 1: so they're in love? What would y'all say?
Speaker 2: What would y'all teach? Is there a mic over there
Speaker 2: or no? Okay, just yeah, they said, leading Niggs out
Speaker 2: the conversation. What what would y'all What would be the
Speaker 2: number one go to that you would teach? What would
Speaker 2: you tell a young boy?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What do you think you needed to protection? Okay, that's
Speaker 2: all they know. I think how to wear a contract?
Speaker 4: I think for young men in particular.
Speaker 3: Maybe this is me speculating, but I feel like when
Speaker 3: you're growing up, there's this like formulate this is what
Speaker 3: sex is, or even like this is how your penis works,
Speaker 3: Like you get a boner, it's a there's like a
Speaker 3: physiological response. You masturbate, you orgasm, you come, whatever, and
Speaker 3: then that's it. That's done, and there's no more conversation
Speaker 3: about pleasure, about the existence of pleasure products, about the
Speaker 3: existence of lube, about the psychology behind everything about all
Speaker 3: of these different aspects. It's just like boom boom boomer.
Speaker 2: And it is because it's still physical, because for us,
Speaker 2: all of our arousal is happening inside and you can't
Speaker 2: really tell. I mean, you could tell when it gets wet,
Speaker 2: but even squirting, that didn't happen for me for so long.
Speaker 1: Like you know, that's something they're learning.
Speaker 3: Every Yes, I feel like so many people with wel
Speaker 3: of us approach like first have their orgasms at a
Speaker 3: later age because of that. Largely, Like I feel like
Speaker 3: I lived a long part of my life just ignoring
Speaker 3: the fact that I had a glitterist at all, because.
Speaker 4: I didn't really know.
Speaker 1: That's the one I knew.
Speaker 2: Man in a boat at what year? At what year
Speaker 2: did you have your first orgasm?
Speaker 4: Eighteen?
Speaker 1: You had an orgasm at eighteen?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What was it? Was it with toys? Was it by yourself?
Speaker 4: It was with a partner?
Speaker 1: And what did he do?
Speaker 4: He hate my pussy?
Speaker 1: And you okay? And you came that way.
Speaker 2: Now I think about it, I probably I ain't gonna
Speaker 2: hold you. I had some good dick when I was young,
Speaker 2: like the nigga.
Speaker 1: That alls fuck it was good ass.
Speaker 3: Book well, I had my first orgasm, but I had
Speaker 3: already been sexually active, saying I was already having penetrative
Speaker 3: sex and not enjoying it and not really understanding like
Speaker 3: why I did enjoy it, and thinking that something was
Speaker 3: wrong with me.
Speaker 1: I was coming from how playing house with the girls.
Speaker 1: Oh see, I didn't orgasm there, and I did you
Speaker 1: feel the rest? So to me?
Speaker 2: So to me probably up until penetrative sex, everything about,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't even play with myself with my fingers
Speaker 2: until I was over eighteen. I liked to rub on things,
Speaker 2: and I liked to fell the little hot, burning sensation
Speaker 2: down there, and then I liked to read books and
Speaker 2: then just feel and feel myself being wet. But I
Speaker 2: do nothing else but besides getting wet and feeling like
Speaker 2: it throbbed. That's it until I started having penetrative sex.
Speaker 2: And then I that's how I know I can come
Speaker 2: up penetrative sex.
Speaker 1: Not really anything. Yeah, I was. I was a rambunctious
Speaker 1: like but I think I was gay first, So I
Speaker 1: think because of that, like eight nine tenth, it was
Speaker 1: never a little boy. It was always like girls in
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. Oh I did I go hold you?
Speaker 2: I was lunching on boys and girls. Sorry, Mom, if
Speaker 2: you listen into this, all like the girlfriends that my
Speaker 2: daddy used to date day kids, we would be in
Speaker 2: the closet under the bed, we would play house. I
Speaker 2: was hunching on everybody my age.
Speaker 1: I was coming too. I feel bad.
Speaker 2: I mean, I wasn't like it wasn't naked, but we
Speaker 2: was hunching with the jeans and shit like that. Shit
Speaker 2: was happy. I was hunching Teddy Bears. I was hunching
Speaker 2: the edge of my bed.
Speaker 4: I was punching your bed, the pillow, the shower.
Speaker 1: I feel like, oh when this ower head came off.
Speaker 2: Baby, never did power head I used to put that thing.
Speaker 4: I never did it for me either.
Speaker 3: But I feel like it is interesting how we all
Speaker 3: like are expected to just find it or just kind
Speaker 3: of figure it out in these like really private alone space.
Speaker 1: But adults should be doing that. And you know what
Speaker 1: adults should be doing, well, clarifying and it should be
Speaker 1: finding it. And I think a lot of the issue
Speaker 1: with not having sex said early or conversations even is
Speaker 1: that when you become an adult and you can't have
Speaker 1: your first orgasm, it's because you're not doing that shit.
Speaker 1: I remember like knowing I needed my nipples stimulated, or
Speaker 1: just things I had to learn as I grew. I
Speaker 1: actually want to like segue into something that I changed
Speaker 1: my mind on. It's a little bit about children, not sexuality.
Speaker 2: The way you'd be saying this whole episode is given, like, bro,
Speaker 2: just say a full sentence talk about children.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry from I like to play with my nipples,
Speaker 1: but speaking of children, Okay, that was really bad. I
Speaker 1: don't know, okay, Vanilla ship. This is why I want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. And it was like literally a
Speaker 1: few hours ago. So the teacher with the unbraiding of
Speaker 1: the hair in the student, my oh boy, change today.
Speaker 1: Original stance? Okay, I want to start by saying, yeah
Speaker 1: this if you haven't seen this video, I felt so
Speaker 1: awful for this guy that got fired. It was some
Speaker 1: of his girls, students, the black man with students just
Speaker 1: unbraiding his hair. Apparently it's like the end of school
Speaker 1: or something, and he was on his way to appointment
Speaker 1: in a rush. It wasn't sexual, it was being videotaped. Fine, now,
Speaker 1: so what your original stance on that bit was? First
Speaker 1: stance when I saw this says, this is so innocent.
Speaker 1: This is just kids just playing. If it was a woman,
Speaker 1: I've played in their hair. But then I realized, So
Speaker 1: I started having a conversation about teachers today. Right, so
Speaker 1: my boyfriend has dated a teacher before, and he's like, Yo,
Speaker 1: it's crazy because the students text you, the students try
Speaker 1: to find your Instagram. He's like, there's no fucking boundary.
Speaker 1: When we were kids, we were looking at teachers like
Speaker 1: they were old as fool as shit. He's like, and
Speaker 1: now it's like there was no barrier. I guess with
Speaker 1: the girl he dated in the kids the students were
Speaker 1: writing about assignments at certain times, and although she wasn't
Speaker 1: being inappropriate, he's like, that's already inappropriate to me.
Speaker 2: And then I thought about it. I'm like, like that video.
Speaker 2: Do you think that video is bad?
Speaker 1: And he was like, if we had a fucking daughter
Speaker 1: and you saw a video of her taking out her
Speaker 1: teacher's hair, what the fuck is she doing in this
Speaker 1: nigga's head?
Speaker 2: And I really was thinking, and I thought to myself,
Speaker 2: I would have been fucking living if my kid is
Speaker 2: in school, not no girls club, where ain't no curriculum
Speaker 2: going on, and you playing a growing ass man's head, nigga,
Speaker 2: cancel your appointment.
Speaker 1: We all ship to do. Shit goes wrong. You know
Speaker 1: what time you get out of school every time? Why
Speaker 1: are these little girls doing this? Why didn't you stop them?
Speaker 1: Why am I thinking this is innocent? There should be
Speaker 1: a boundary with teachers. The shit shouldn't be that fucking cool.
Speaker 1: You can have good relationships with staff members or teachers
Speaker 1: and not sexualize. And I'm not saying he was doing
Speaker 1: anything sexual, but why the fuck is this happening. My
Speaker 1: kids should not be going to school doing any service
Speaker 1: for you, Like, that's weird to me. So this is
Speaker 1: now what you think.
Speaker 2: I really didn't think it at first, Mandy, because in
Speaker 2: my brain I always think we over sexualize things.
Speaker 1: I agree. However, when I sat and thought about if
Speaker 1: it was my kid, I was like, yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: even as an adult. Hold on, as an adult, I
Speaker 1: think back that I used to do that for my teacher.
Speaker 1: What the fuck?
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 3: I have those moments all the time where I've realized
Speaker 3: that I was like a child and there were teachers
Speaker 3: maybe like making some weird inappropriate choke with me or
Speaker 3: whatever it might be. And I do think I'm gen
Speaker 3: z so I remember like looking up my teachers on
Speaker 3: Facebook and trying to be in their business. But I
Speaker 3: do think as the adult, it's on you to create
Speaker 3: me as.
Speaker 1: A millennial, I think.
Speaker 2: I feel like so with that, I feel like we
Speaker 2: definitely sexualized it. There was another teacher recently with a
Speaker 2: bald head who was getting diamonds put on his head.
Speaker 2: A principle, actually not even a teacher. The principal was
Speaker 2: getting Ryan stones put on his head. He ain't get fired.
Speaker 2: To me, I do think if that was a woman teacher,
Speaker 2: it wouldn't have been said anything.
Speaker 1: My only issue is down the rabbit hole of going
Speaker 1: through his TikTok.
Speaker 2: He was sexualizing some girl that it was obvious she
Speaker 2: was under age, so he was on some weirdo shit
Speaker 2: on his TikTok. But for the sticking there, I actually
Speaker 2: don't think there was anything wrong. I do think we
Speaker 2: over sexualized.
Speaker 1: Even if it was your kid, even if it was
Speaker 1: my kid.
Speaker 2: Well, and I guess I come from a especially seeing
Speaker 2: that it was little black girls like I grew up
Speaker 2: with a like my high school at a cosmetology school
Speaker 2: in it so like my cousin did my hair to
Speaker 2: me literally between classes, at the lunch room after school program,
Speaker 2: people are doing hair.
Speaker 1: There's some black shit like getting get intwisted. I get it,
Speaker 1: but why is my kid doing a service for you?
Speaker 1: But that's the thing too, to see it was a
Speaker 1: group of girls. It wasn't just one girl. To me,
Speaker 1: it was a group.
Speaker 2: My only problem was, and I've said this to a
Speaker 2: few adults, my problem was a that he put it
Speaker 2: on social media for me if I had for me,
Speaker 2: if I had a child, I don't want my little
Speaker 2: girl on no grown man's Instagram where there's probably more
Speaker 2: grown men for.
Speaker 1: To see her.
Speaker 2: Like to me, that would be my probably big thing
Speaker 2: with raising a little girl right now is keeping her
Speaker 2: out of the views or reach of grown men having accessibility.
Speaker 1: I think the touching also, there needs to be a
Speaker 1: boundary with touching and I don't And maybe that's what
Speaker 1: I started to think about, like the touching is too much.
Speaker 1: But to me hair Also, I just want to say
Speaker 1: this for any men listening that may feel like we're,
Speaker 1: you know, coming down on the male teacher. I'm sorry, Mandy.
Speaker 1: I actually think women teachers when I see these clothes
Speaker 1: they be wearing. No, no, no, do you know the little
Speaker 1: doe here fucking these boys.
Speaker 2: Every time I look up sex in the news for
Speaker 2: vanilla shit, it's another fucking teacher fucking a high school boy.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, people are totally predatory both ways.
Speaker 1: Every time I see one of the BBL teachers, and
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be funny, I'm I'm not you
Speaker 1: calling them a BBL. There are BBL teachers that fucking
Speaker 1: be like, is this wrong? It's my body. What are
Speaker 1: you fucking talking about, bitch, Like, yes, you're not going
Speaker 1: to the club. You don't need to. Fucking we see
Speaker 1: the belt on the goddamn last whole stop it. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, fit girls being ostracized for wearing the same
Speaker 1: thing as skinny girls. I totally get it. I get
Speaker 1: it when we're talking about anything else outside, but for school,
Speaker 1: that's not fair.
Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna tell you right now, there was this
Speaker 2: motherfucking teacher that was the pe coach in high school.
Speaker 2: He was about twenty three years old. Baby, he was
Speaker 2: fine when I say fine, or.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So the way you're talking, because okay, there's bodies, there's
Speaker 2: things like so, then should a fine ass nigga not
Speaker 2: be a teacher either.
Speaker 1: That you got twent thirteen, fourteen year old fourteen and
Speaker 1: you wearing these tight ass fucking dresses that are sexy
Speaker 1: enough to make a fucking TikTok okay, but now these
Speaker 1: little boys are over sexualizing you. But we over here
Speaker 1: thinking that it's just the man okay, six or four
Speaker 1: with basketball shorts and a white beater on my motherfucking pea,
Speaker 1: And I did want to. I wanted to suck his fight.
Speaker 2: It doesn't I'm saying, when you're crushertaine yes, but I'm
Speaker 2: not talking about attractive people.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about inappropriate it's with the outfits. I'm tired
Speaker 1: of fucking acting like Bro. I'm not trying to be
Speaker 1: no maga bitch, but I'm sorry. I'm a like on
Speaker 1: some real shit. I'm the girl who is out here saying,
Speaker 1: fuck whoever you want fucking have three husbands, three wives,
Speaker 1: being an open relationship. But I'm an adult and why
Speaker 1: the fuck are we crossing this goddamn line with kids?
Speaker 1: And I really think these bitches on TikTok with this
Speaker 1: weird shit. I was in a hole, bro when I
Speaker 1: saw this, and I'm like, I cannot believe we're acting
Speaker 1: like she should be free to wear whatever she wants
Speaker 1: when the goddamn pants is up her ass.
Speaker 3: Well, Okay, I think on one hand, there's like a
Speaker 3: lot to be said about like the sexualization of certain
Speaker 3: clothing pieces generally, or just our bodies as a whole.
Speaker 3: But I also think to what you're saying, like and
Speaker 3: also to the incident with the hair, Like, schools are
Speaker 3: still a workplace for teachers, So there are certain workplace
Speaker 3: norms that you wouldn't break in a workplace with adults.
Speaker 3: So why are we so comfortable breaking them around children?
Speaker 4: Oh that's a great way.
Speaker 1: I actually really fuck with it because I would not.
Speaker 1: I didn't think take my hair out in front of
Speaker 1: people that work. They would think of your motherfucker hair out.
Speaker 1: Work is secret home. It does this work.
Speaker 2: You don't take your hair on the motherfucker podcast. So bitch,
Speaker 2: it's it's a work environment. Anyway, let us get this.
Speaker 1: Fucking bitch. Okay, you were talking about semen and prostate
Speaker 1: fluid on your page.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Like Louis, Yeah, tell me a little bit about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what were we talking about in terms of Stephen
Speaker 4: and prostate fluid?
Speaker 3: I think just that they're different and that there are
Speaker 3: tons of enzymes that work towards the evolutionary goal of
Speaker 3: getting the sperm to the egg. But when we do
Speaker 3: go over the anatomy of the penis and of the volva,
Speaker 3: just all anatomy, point blank period. We really try to
Speaker 3: approach it, not in the way that schools might necessarily
Speaker 3: approach it. I feel like I remember from the animal
Speaker 3: like sex that I got in school that it was
Speaker 3: a lot of like ovaries and Filippian tubes and the uterus,
Speaker 3: and I was like, where's my clitterists, where's my reath?
Speaker 4: Threat? There wasn't a lot of that.
Speaker 3: So in addition to talking about the sorts of anatomy
Speaker 3: that you're more likely to get in school, we also
Speaker 3: try to talk about the clitteral your rethroll network, and
Speaker 3: we try to talk about homologous sex organs how like
Speaker 3: we're all pretty much the same and he penis penis exactly,
Speaker 3: So that's like pretty much where we start.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you how your boodhle get aroused? Because
Speaker 2: sometimes my boodahle do just be a little juicy, but
Speaker 2: like it's like whoa why is a juicy? Like my pussy, yes,
Speaker 2: gets wet, but sometimes my boot my bussy get wait too,
Speaker 2: you will know if I actually have an answer.
Speaker 1: You don't know about how the bussy get wet.
Speaker 4: No, but I can't tell you that I have experienced
Speaker 4: the same thing.
Speaker 1: Oh so that's what I want you to do the research.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll come back.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no, it's not a leaky but
Speaker 2: but like while I'm aroused, like like the last time
Speaker 2: I had antal sex, baby, we didn't even use lube.
Speaker 1: I was really aroused. Let me let it down there.
Speaker 1: Why do my boot why do my boot atal cavity?
Speaker 1: Ain'tal cavity? Is crazy? No, because that's why does my
Speaker 1: anis get wet? What is that being telling me? Nigga?
Speaker 1: We can't wait for him to Okay, why talk about it?
Speaker 1: Rectal discharge?
Speaker 5: It is?
Speaker 1: It is clear what it ain't sweat. I don't like
Speaker 1: that you're picking out automatic bitches. Got I b s.
Speaker 4: I don't know what I've met like excited, That's what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Let me see I'm trying to do. What are you
Speaker 1: asking now?
Speaker 2: Why why does my anal where? What is anal lubrication?
Speaker 2: How does it now show you lube. Well, these bitches,
Speaker 2: when's a sex educator analyze that whole got a little
Speaker 2: something and expert.
Speaker 1: Apparently that's what we call us. You bitch is a
Speaker 1: sweating and your wet butt is being don't is running down? No, no,
Speaker 1: no no, I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 2: I felt it just at my boodole, like I like,
Speaker 2: go back down like a little a little turned on,
Speaker 2: little boy, be a little turned on away I can't yeah.
Speaker 1: A little okay, you have come on.
Speaker 4: Your booty be going to.
Speaker 2: Well maybe right.
Speaker 1: Apparently what happens is that like you get hot and
Speaker 1: your heart speeds up, sweat, so you get out of
Speaker 1: your heart speeds up.
Speaker 2: This is what ed and just said. You get hot,
Speaker 2: your heart speeds up. So again confirmed, you bitches be
Speaker 2: sweating in the butt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm like.
Speaker 2: That gotta going like a cur I felt like I
Speaker 2: was arousing my bootohole like my was like, bitch, we
Speaker 2: were playing tonight. That's what I thought it meant. But
Speaker 2: my acbond, I don't know how my budohobies with anyway, though,
Speaker 2: bitch and I got a real acy.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Shout out to the ones who knows I ain't got
Speaker 2: a window you did know more, that means in the suburbs,
Speaker 2: horrible decision.
Speaker 1: This week is all about talking to younger kids about sex,
Speaker 1: helping these parents with that. Maybe that first conversation, pep
Speaker 1: your penis? Okay, what is the age that is appropriate
Speaker 1: to talk about sex, not the body sex, partnered sex.
Speaker 3: Yes, I would say that there's a difference between the
Speaker 3: conversation around here's what partnered sex is, versus the conversation
Speaker 3: around I'm preparing you for the fact that you might
Speaker 3: have partnered sex in the very near future.
Speaker 1: Okay, Because it could be a conversation of like where
Speaker 1: did I come from?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it could be yeah, conversation around how babies are made,
Speaker 3: a conversation around what certain body parts.
Speaker 1: Do and what age is that you think appropriate.
Speaker 3: Honestly, from some things I've read, it can be around
Speaker 3: like the five years old I was gonna guess, I
Speaker 3: was gonna guess fu Oh my gosh, I'm forgetting the name.
Speaker 3: There's this really good guide around like how what what
Speaker 3: aspects of the conversation should be happening at what age?
Speaker 3: So it's like zero to two, you can start introducing
Speaker 3: that certain body parts exist or you know, two to four.
Speaker 3: If you notice that a child is engaging in self stimulation,
Speaker 3: which really does start around age two, you can encourage.
Speaker 1: Self stimulation starts at the age at age.
Speaker 3: Two, yeah, and often peaks around age five and then
Speaker 3: goes plummets right back down a lot of the time,
Speaker 3: and largely because parents discourage it and just say stop
Speaker 3: touching yourself, stop doing that.
Speaker 1: You know, but what are you supposed to do? Because
Speaker 1: I would say stop? I feel like what you would
Speaker 1: say stop, Because.
Speaker 2: I've seen a little kid, like a family friend, like
Speaker 2: one of those events whatever, like just doing it around
Speaker 2: everybody and we were all like stop, right, But I
Speaker 2: don't know if that puts something in his head or
Speaker 2: maybe like what are you supposed to do?
Speaker 1: Tell him to go in the bathroom and do it.
Speaker 3: I feel like the conversation now in like sex positive
Speaker 3: parenting spaces has been to like stress the value of
Speaker 3: like privacy, like that you are entitled to explore and
Speaker 3: understand your own body to whatever extent you want.
Speaker 4: But that's something that happens in the privacy of your
Speaker 4: bedroom or wherever. I guess we're like in a real
Speaker 4: sensitive era. I want both of y'all's opinions on your
Speaker 4: thoughts or what you would do. So I have a
Speaker 4: friend whose son is potty training right now and went
Speaker 4: to daycare and amidst potty training, he's taking his clothes off,
Speaker 4: because you're potty training at all at daycare is taking
Speaker 4: his clothes off, so playing in the toilet, taking his
Speaker 4: pants off, and did this in class multiple times. But
Speaker 4: one of the little girls went to their mom and
Speaker 4: was like, Mommy, I saw a little boys penis today.
Speaker 4: Clearly the mom is irate, mind you. The whole class
Speaker 4: is potty training. They're between two and four years old.
Speaker 4: They're all potty training.
Speaker 1: And so the little boy got.
Speaker 2: Suspended and the mom is completely upset because she's like yes,
Speaker 2: So the mom yes, and their kids got suspected yes,
Speaker 2: and the mom is completely upset because she's like, they're
Speaker 2: potty training, and why are you sexualizing my son?
Speaker 1: I don't understand why my kid would get kicked out?
Speaker 1: What do you what do you want me to tell them?
Speaker 2: If they're potty training, where do they do it at
Speaker 2: that the little girl saw it. He's taking his clothes
Speaker 2: off like he's made but aren't they.
Speaker 3: When I was in preschool, we had like shared, yeah,
Speaker 3: you have shared boys and girls.
Speaker 2: Like, so the boys and the girls right now are
Speaker 2: potty training, and I guess this is his first time.
Speaker 2: You're not wearing diapers, you're getting used to wearing pants
Speaker 2: like actual drawls. You have to wear clothes that are
Speaker 2: easily to come on and off, and he's just like
Speaker 2: walking around three.
Speaker 3: There's also a lot of child psychology around how like
Speaker 3: people at that young children at that age do want
Speaker 3: to be naked more often, and like that's sort of
Speaker 3: a really big part of the conversation that you're supposed
Speaker 3: to have when you have a child at that age,
Speaker 3: which is your clothes are meant to stay on when
Speaker 3: you're in public, and that there are certain specific private
Speaker 3: places where they might be removed, like when an adult
Speaker 3: might be helping you take a bath, or when you're
Speaker 3: at the doctors or whatever.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that's the thing too, right, The
Speaker 2: conversations is not being had with little boys. But of
Speaker 2: course little girls are like if anyone touches you, if
Speaker 2: you see a dick, like they're not supposed to even
Speaker 2: look at dick's They're not supposed to know what a
Speaker 2: dick looks. Like, like, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 2: let's be very clear. I saw my mom and naked
Speaker 2: as fuck growing up. I ain't never seen my dad
Speaker 2: in naked. Yeah, yeah, but hold on just a caveat.
Speaker 6: Men.
Speaker 1: Little boys are seeing their dad naked. Oh okay, but
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. Women are shilling others. Yeah it's
Speaker 1: the same. Yeah, women are fuilded from penises. Yeah, brothers,
Speaker 1: that's a good point.
Speaker 2: You're older brothers and so y'all are both like that's
Speaker 2: ridiculous that the little Oh that's absolutely not okay.
Speaker 1: I'm actually trying to think, like did he did? They
Speaker 1: keep telling him? Non he Maybe he ran out, like you're.
Speaker 3: Telling me, because that's no teaching moment. That's a moment
Speaker 3: where the conversation is actually being brought up for you.
Speaker 3: So it's a really easy entry point for any paper.
Speaker 2: Like unless he tried to make her touch him, that
Speaker 2: that's a whole different thing, and that did not happen.
Speaker 2: He was just like, use the bathroom and just walked
Speaker 2: out the bathroom with no pants on. But how also,
Speaker 2: when you suspend a little kid, do you, then it's
Speaker 2: hard to course correct because their brains are.
Speaker 1: Like this right, And that's the thing. They don't know
Speaker 1: that what they're doing is wrong because they don't see
Speaker 1: it as wrong.
Speaker 4: And what is punishing that kid really doing for anybody?
Speaker 2: Like, I mean, I think though that that's the other
Speaker 2: thing with the conversations between adults and children is the
Speaker 2: fact that we go in sexual life damn near everything everything.
Speaker 2: Like I was sexualized really early because I had hypso thighs.
Speaker 2: The adults just thought a bit was best this book
Speaker 2: out here hopping on and off Dix, and I'm was like,
Speaker 2: I don't even like tongue. Why are you putting that
Speaker 2: on this hoe or that I'm best because of my
Speaker 2: body or how.
Speaker 1: Things fit me? When baby, I don't even want a
Speaker 1: nigga's tongue in my mouth. Let me ask you. So, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm ready, I'm five, mommy, where do babies come from?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is see I don't have five
Speaker 3: year olds, so this is also going to be a
Speaker 3: little tricky for me. But I would say to approach
Speaker 3: the conversation just being honest about the fact. No, do
Speaker 3: it in your voice, do it okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: When people are older, they engage in something called sex.
Speaker 3: That is when a penis goes in a vagina and
Speaker 3: the result is a baby, and the baby grows inside
Speaker 3: the mommy's stomach and then comes out of the vagina. See,
Speaker 3: I feel like I just struggled through.
Speaker 4: I'm horrible.
Speaker 1: But I'm thirteen and I have a boyfriend, and I really,
Speaker 1: I really I'm I'm thirteen.
Speaker 2: I have a boyfriend I really like, and we saw
Speaker 2: this movie and he wants to he wants to try it,
Speaker 2: he wants to have sex with me.
Speaker 1: What is the conversation?
Speaker 2: Mmmm?
Speaker 4: Okay, I think because.
Speaker 2: Thirteen bitches is starting to be inquisitive and fuck or
Speaker 2: their boyfriends are fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, So how do you
Speaker 2: how do you talk to me as a thirteen year
Speaker 2: old saying I think I want to, you know, try
Speaker 2: something with my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: If it's my child, I feel like there's like a
Speaker 3: little bit more room to sort of instill my own
Speaker 3: morals and just life experiences and to say, I would
Speaker 3: not recommend that this is something that you engage in
Speaker 3: at this age, but if this is something that you're
Speaker 3: going to engage in or even in the future, than
Speaker 3: your future whatever it might be, these are the things
Speaker 3: you need to consider. You need to consider what barrier
Speaker 3: methods you want to use. You need to consider what
Speaker 3: consent looks like, Yeah, you need to consider.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna tell him yes, and he's buying the condoms.
Speaker 3: Again, Personally, if you're my child, I would encourage you
Speaker 3: to hold off and think about it, because there are
Speaker 3: a lot of things both emotional and like physical safety wise,
Speaker 3: that come along with engaging in sex, like the possibility
Speaker 3: of pregnancy, but also yeah, like the emotions that can
Speaker 3: come and be a play.
Speaker 1: Can you talk more about that for parents with teenage kids,
Speaker 1: like when they're telling their kids about emotions that at
Speaker 1: thirteen year old can understand, what would you be saying?
Speaker 3: Yeah, sex I think means so such vastly different things
Speaker 3: to different people, I think, even at an early age.
Speaker 3: But it's good to understand like the societal norms that
Speaker 3: we have in place now, which are that there is
Speaker 3: a lot of attachment correlated with sex, and so thinking
Speaker 3: about what like the expectations might be after you engage
Speaker 3: in sex for the first time, Like does this person
Speaker 3: think that that means that you're gonna be in a relationship?
Speaker 4: Is that something that you want?
Speaker 3: Do you feel comfortable talking to this person about yeah,
Speaker 3: feeling safe in that moment or feeling unsafe in that moment.
Speaker 3: Feeling comfortable in that moment or uncomfortable in that moment.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, they're just like a lot of factors
Speaker 3: at play.
Speaker 1: There is because once we have sex one time, Mommy,
Speaker 1: we're probably gonna do it again. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Like, so those are conversations I wish I had with
Speaker 2: like I wish I had with anybody. There was nobody
Speaker 2: to have those conversations with except for my homegirls and
Speaker 2: a lot of my homegirls in my teenage years. They
Speaker 2: had all had sex like before I did, so I
Speaker 2: felt like I could rely on them. But goddamn is
Speaker 2: the blind leading the goddamn blinde?
Speaker 3: You know? I mean that's yeah, That's kind of the
Speaker 3: idea behind our program is we wanted to feel a
Speaker 3: bit less like the blind lading the blind.
Speaker 4: But I definitely think, gosh, there's something I was gonna say.
Speaker 4: I just blinked.
Speaker 1: Wait, I can give you something else that I'm curious about.
Speaker 1: So when uh, okay, we're at five, right, let's just
Speaker 1: say from what you've heard. I want to maybe more
Speaker 1: so talk about because I just brought up my friends kids.
Speaker 1: What is it seeming like and where is it seeming
Speaker 1: like children are learning about sex most and what adults
Speaker 1: in their life are they coming to to talk about it.
Speaker 3: I would say that it seems like a lot of
Speaker 3: the conversations about sex are from peer to peer interactions
Speaker 3: and through social media. I think even just on our TikTok,
Speaker 3: we definitely ended up on a side of TikTok that
Speaker 3: had a lot of younger people just posting things, and
Speaker 3: it seemed to be a lot of conversations about really
Speaker 3: like slutshavy conversations is why I noticed a And also
Speaker 3: we heard a lot of reports of from our students,
Speaker 3: and I definitely remember feeling like that to an extent
Speaker 3: when I was in high school. Yeah, that it's just
Speaker 3: like a fine line to walk. You're like either a
Speaker 3: prude or you're a hoe, and it's it's kind of wow.
Speaker 1: What about when it comes to maybe they're watching movies
Speaker 1: or television and talking about threesomes? Have you had kids
Speaker 1: ask you about threesimes in group sex?
Speaker 4: We actually haven't had kids ask us explicitly about three simes.
Speaker 4: In group sex. I know, I talked a little bit
Speaker 4: about like our conversation about BDSM and kink, and I
Speaker 4: think even regardless of if BDSM and kink are necessarily
Speaker 4: things that people would approach as like conversations they want
Speaker 4: to have with kids, there are like a lot of
Speaker 4: universally good things you can learn from those communities as
Speaker 4: far as like the level of just safety and consent
Speaker 4: required in a scene, what aftercare is like a lot
Speaker 4: of those things that are slowly making their way to
Speaker 4: the mainstream, even thinking through like the way that like
Speaker 4: young people choking one another during sex has become more
Speaker 4: and more mainstream. Yeah, I think about it ephor you, Yeah,
Speaker 4: and that can be unsafe for a number of reasons.
Speaker 4: I mean, especially especially the.
Speaker 2: Fact that a lot of teenagers are as well experimenting
Speaker 2: with drugs and alcohol and they don't know what their level,
Speaker 2: what their tolerance levels are, and then they're still engaging
Speaker 2: in sex or you know.
Speaker 3: Also, I feel like if the approach to learning about
Speaker 3: sex is through mainstream porn, and there's a lot of
Speaker 3: violence that can take place in mainstream porn or just
Speaker 3: aggression generally, that that can be somewhat scary within itself.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's what you thinks. Think they got a
Speaker 1: jet rabbit a bit all right? Not how to do
Speaker 1: that's now adult advice. Let's get onto the whole mail
Speaker 1: home mail. Hi the way one moment, Oh, y'all, motherfucker
Speaker 1: sent us in some homemail. It's a little it's a
Speaker 1: little scarce somebody are in the emails horrible decisions that
Speaker 1: Gmail you goddamn.
Speaker 2: Home mails or whole confessions, any questions that you have
Speaker 2: regarding sex, dating relationships on over to horrible decisions at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Holemail in the subject line really helps us de weed
Speaker 1: it out. And also if you send it in the DMS,
Speaker 1: it gets lost. Okay, So hi, guys, love your show.
Speaker 1: It took me a while to write this. About two
Speaker 1: years ago, I went out drinking alone because I was
Speaker 1: sad about a guy I was seeing. It came out.
Speaker 1: He came out and told me that he got a
Speaker 1: girl pregnant. So while I was there at the bar,
Speaker 1: I met this guy let's call him A. We start
Speaker 1: talking and drinking and I ended up going home with him.
Speaker 1: I was so drunk that I ended up running out
Speaker 1: of A's house because I was so embarrassed from throwing
Speaker 1: up in his bathroom. Fast forward, we all have it.
Speaker 1: Fast forward. I went to see him again sober. Let's
Speaker 1: just say that dick was massive. So in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I hope it's good, and I was wrong.
Speaker 1: We started with me on top, had a good rhythm,
Speaker 1: but he kept messing me up by trying to fuck back.
Speaker 1: He wanted to turn me over. He started pulling my
Speaker 1: hair extremely hard, and when I looked up at him,
Speaker 1: he was flicking his fingers over his nipples and it
Speaker 1: creeped me out. So then he goes in and throwts
Speaker 1: fucking me really rough and said he was getting me
Speaker 1: back for talking to him crazy. He was throwing me everywhere,
Speaker 1: pulling my hair harder than before, and at this point
Speaker 1: the sex started to hurt. I eventually stopped and told
Speaker 1: him I was ready to go. The dick was still hard,
Speaker 1: like a missile. He asked me to suck it, but
Speaker 1: at that point I was so turned off and ready
Speaker 1: to go, I just said no. While he was taking
Speaker 1: me home, he kept saying, yeah, you was talking to
Speaker 1: me crazy all week. I had to show you. And
Speaker 1: when I got home, I thought this nigga just beat
Speaker 1: me up during sex, and the next day I told
Speaker 1: him about himself and I told him rubbing his own
Speaker 1: nipples as gay as shit.
Speaker 4: You were weird for that.
Speaker 1: I ran into him again at the neighborhood gas station.
Speaker 1: He was trying to feel me up. I told him
Speaker 1: to get away from me or I'm gonna cause the scene.
Speaker 1: Never talk to him again. Sadly, About a month or
Speaker 1: so later, he got killed outside the bar. I met
Speaker 1: a match.
Speaker 2: He's, oh my god, why I was not ready for deending.
Speaker 2: That is not the last, like I'm just gonna Was
Speaker 2: there a question there, nigga? I mean, I would say
Speaker 2: that is the end of the let There is a thing.
Speaker 2: There is a way to dissect this, lady.
Speaker 1: I want I want to dissect it a little.
Speaker 2: I want to dissect a little bit. There's a lot
Speaker 2: of parts. I want to start with the nipple play.
Speaker 2: We gotta we got nipple. Get that in the clip
Speaker 2: next and peace.
Speaker 1: Nipple play for.
Speaker 2: A lot of men is a thing, and I hate
Speaker 2: that that's being I told him he is gay, especially
Speaker 2: a woman. For you to throw it in their face
Speaker 2: that it's gay as ship, it's not. He was terrible
Speaker 2: during sex, but that doesn't mean you gotta call him gay.
Speaker 2: He's an asshole.
Speaker 4: Like biological there are just nerves.
Speaker 1: Literally, and they feel good.
Speaker 2: I love a man and tell me they like a
Speaker 2: little nipple play, I'll be up on that thing, like, well,
Speaker 2: we know, if you like butt, honey, shut a nipple
Speaker 2: won't stop. I have a few thoughts actually, so one,
Speaker 2: by the way, this is not to blame you, but
Speaker 2: when he was saying.
Speaker 1: That, like he was in his own role play. Ye,
Speaker 1: And you can tell from reading this like he was
Speaker 1: playing a game that you didn't like or that you
Speaker 1: didn't know you were playing. I think you did a
Speaker 1: good job by stopping him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so shout out to you for that, because a
Speaker 2: lot of people might have finished and hated themselves after.
Speaker 1: But for people listening, I played this game, so have
Speaker 1: I girl. I was literally a last night talking to
Speaker 1: a nigga too long and I was getting fucked Like, bitch,
Speaker 1: was wrong with you? I don't know, but not everybody
Speaker 1: likes that first time sex. I don't really like shit
Speaker 1: like that. I think that, uh, what happened to you.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you necessarily got bet up during sex.
Speaker 1: I think that aggressiveness is truthfully, what men think women like.
Speaker 1: They think women like this dominance shit. They don't understand
Speaker 1: that we need to lead you on to that, ask
Speaker 1: for it, et cetera. And I'm really sorry that the
Speaker 1: situation happened to you. And frankly, maybe that's why.
Speaker 3: Oh god, it'sn't interesting, because I feel like my first
Speaker 3: thought was that it seemed like this guy was really
Speaker 3: in his own world, a little bright and like not
Speaker 3: considering what would make the other person comfortable or uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Men. Dude, like, to me, when you said did you
Speaker 1: get beat up during sex? To me, that's not really assault.
Speaker 1: And he stopped when you wanted to stop. That to
Speaker 1: me is a big I mean, I think also the
Speaker 1: fact that.
Speaker 2: She alluded that she was talking shit that whole week
Speaker 2: and he literally responded, oh, you was talking shit and
Speaker 2: I told you I was gonna show you. Like to me,
Speaker 2: maybe you were being you know, maybe he thought you
Speaker 2: were a part of the game, like maybe you were
Speaker 2: talking shit or nagging him on and he was like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, bitch, I'm gonna show you when.
Speaker 3: We you know what I mean, And especially visibility where
Speaker 3: he thought he was being playful. But then there's also
Speaker 3: that possibility where he was just saying whatever was going
Speaker 3: to turn him on in that moment and just did
Speaker 3: not care about that.
Speaker 2: I think the fact make you feel I think the
Speaker 2: fact that the dick was also massive. I don't think
Speaker 2: niggas would big dicks all the time. Know that a
Speaker 2: you have to work extra hard to make sure we're
Speaker 2: aroused and wet because otherwise it's fucking painful, especially like
Speaker 2: if a woman just I mean, I know, I mean,
Speaker 2: damn near are all of my friends including me now
Speaker 2: I have fucking fibroids, And she said that her fibroids
Speaker 2: and where they're sitting is what causes her to have
Speaker 2: painful sex. So the fact that there's all these things
Speaker 2: that could be happening in our vaginas if you just
Speaker 2: go in there pounding and it's big, and you didn't
Speaker 2: fucking arouse me, because men love to just go straight
Speaker 2: into it, it becomes painful and not enjoyable at all.
Speaker 4: Cervical simulation.
Speaker 3: I feel like for people who do find it enjoyable,
Speaker 3: at least from what I've heard from people who I
Speaker 3: know or people who just DM me or whatever, like
Speaker 3: at least the first time or first couple of times,
Speaker 3: it's really not.
Speaker 1: That Oh I hate the first time with a big dick.
Speaker 1: The first round is not fucking fun.
Speaker 2: I like that you discussed it as cervical sip simulation,
Speaker 2: because I've definitely talked about like, obviously I know what
Speaker 2: cervix is.
Speaker 1: When I was talking about Homegirls Bush, I'll be like, bitch,
Speaker 1: I don't really like when they hit that wall too hard,
Speaker 1: but it's literally your cervix. She's also so what you
Speaker 1: just mentioned about friends having fibraides. I have a friend
Speaker 1: with stage four endo that demetriosis. When she has sex,
Speaker 1: if the penetration is too hard, she literally throws up
Speaker 1: Jesus and she's like, bro, I cannot wait to get
Speaker 1: over this phase of my life. And it is I'd
Speaker 1: end up gay. It is a real thing of doing
Speaker 1: your dick in a vagina, not being open enough, looped
Speaker 1: up enough, engorged, Like you have got to notice those
Speaker 1: signs like this is not even I think big dick exclusive,
Speaker 1: Like I think you can have a medium or a
Speaker 1: small dick, and I've definitely a small dick. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: not small, but I.
Speaker 3: Think about that all the time because I think, I mean,
Speaker 3: not even to just go back to what we were
Speaker 3: talking about earlier. But in thinking about like how I
Speaker 3: grew up and feeling like something was wrong with me
Speaker 3: from not orgasmic, from penetrative sex. I think about people
Speaker 3: who have daspruna or have vagins. Miss what's ds brunia?
Speaker 3: Disprunia is just like all the term for painful sex.
Speaker 3: So imagine as mister, it could be have you no
Speaker 3: never evolving. I don't know sperunia. Yeah, this sperunia, do
Speaker 3: what I can never sperna.
Speaker 1: Okay, that sounds like.
Speaker 4: This parunia where some people will say deep thisspruna, which
Speaker 4: I think is.
Speaker 1: Just I like deep. I like deep deep this parnia.
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy?
Speaker 2: Though, I'm one of those where pain is pleasure sometimes,
Speaker 2: Like there's some dicks where I just be like, God, damn,
Speaker 2: I want this nigga like might different that's getting stretched out? No, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no, I like I like pain, not because I'm
Speaker 2: gonna take a big dick. And then I like psychologically
Speaker 2: knowing I'm taking this big dick now literally be like
Speaker 2: nobody else takes this dick like this.
Speaker 1: Huh, Like that's that's a role playing my own Hey man,
Speaker 1: you go, I want everyone to see this just now
Speaker 1: you said she'd be in pain just to know anybody else, Hey,
Speaker 1: nobody else dick like this? Hunh that's like artist.
Speaker 6: Oh, I love Its a lot of sense to me.
Speaker 6: That like sought process. I feel like I love it,
Speaker 6: and I'll be like, I'm gonna take it because I know,
Speaker 6: bitch this thing. I know bitches ain't taking the ship,
Speaker 6: but I'm gonna take this ship, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: That be me.
Speaker 1: The biggest dick I ever had was my first real boyfriend,
Speaker 1: the Latino dude I always talk about from Orlando, and
Speaker 1: I remember thinking one day because he had a brother
Speaker 1: and the brother's gay, and we had this moment where
Speaker 1: me and the brother's husband were like, I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: he got a big dig too, and we started gagging
Speaker 1: like they don't brothers don't be having they're gagging. The
Speaker 1: brothers din't even bought them anymore, Like we'reler laughing, right Jesus.
Speaker 1: And so I realized because the brother was like maybe
Speaker 1: eight years younger. So I'm asking a man at the time, like,
Speaker 1: how big was your dick in high school? M WHOA,
Speaker 1: that's the question.
Speaker 2: Wait, do y'all dicks grow bigger after y'all graduate high school. Really, Oh,
Speaker 2: there's one nigga I'm scared.
Speaker 4: Said you grow?
Speaker 1: No what really?
Speaker 4: But okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: David Ede said they.
Speaker 2: If you fu him in high school. There's one nigga
Speaker 2: I used to call patty cake boy.
Speaker 1: Oh boy. And I don't want to see that dick.
Speaker 1: That dick was you.
Speaker 2: We was fucking when I was in high school. That
Speaker 2: niggas dick was messed. I wouldn't even want to see
Speaker 2: it now as an adult.
Speaker 1: Here grow man, now, I wouldn't even want to see
Speaker 1: that dick. That dick was big.
Speaker 4: Your clitorist keeps growing as you age, too.
Speaker 1: That's true. We pauls.
Speaker 2: I was like, I might have to do a little research.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna have to look back at my
Speaker 2: videos from twenty.
Speaker 5: On my.
Speaker 1: On a raiser of my pussy, I was like, pussy
Speaker 1: look a little different now. It's still in any pussy,
Speaker 1: but the pussy shatter. It's weird because it's been getting
Speaker 1: it's been getting work. Beget work, girl, I don't know
Speaker 1: wat shit real?
Speaker 2: Like, no, Lie, it really like it's fatter and like
Speaker 2: I look at like the shape of my voina and
Speaker 2: it went from like skinny, little bitty pussy like a
Speaker 2: little something.
Speaker 1: It's the same way balls go from uphill to down.
Speaker 1: Now it's just this week, cud now too, because anything.
Speaker 2: Like I got just Sarah, let everyone know where they
Speaker 2: could follow you, support you, and where they could possibly
Speaker 2: have their children sign up for your youth program.
Speaker 3: Okay, we are www dot the Youth Sexpert Program dot org.
Speaker 3: We are at the Youth Sexpert Program with a three
Speaker 3: in the word sex on Instagram and TikTok. We're on
Speaker 3: LinkedIn Facebook. My personal Instagram is your ex girlfriend Tara.
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, signing kids up is it free?
Speaker 1: It is one hundred percent free, girl, nonprofits grandsis But
Speaker 1: I'm just like.
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, it's hundred percent free. We've been able
Speaker 3: to give students some community service hours in the past
Speaker 3: that we're totally down to sign off on, like any
Speaker 3: internship papers or something you need to sign for school.
Speaker 3: But yeah, we're also totally down to talk to parents
Speaker 3: and try to like make our program more approachable in
Speaker 3: any way we can. We will definitely to repost some stuff. Cool. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I know we're I don't know when this is coming up,
Speaker 3: but we're hosting like a parent education and digital event
Speaker 3: on the twenty first June, okay, but it'll be posted
Speaker 3: on our website so parents can definitely come check that out.
Speaker 3: We also have our parently aaison who's totally down and
Speaker 3: willing to talk to parents about any concerns.
Speaker 1: And this is a year long program, so it is
Speaker 1: as long so okay.
Speaker 3: Our cohorts happen in the fall semester okay, and right
Speaker 3: before Christmas break and then we have an ext cohort.
Speaker 2: So as of right now, over the summertime, the parents
Speaker 2: can start to look up the program and what's available.
Speaker 1: Yeah for a sign up in the fon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, our student oplications are open now and we sent
Speaker 3: our parent outreach around August perfect well.
Speaker 1: Thank you Tarah so much for doing this.
Speaker 5: Was fun, even though I usually say Tara's particular what
Speaker 5: I say, I'm think and Tara Reid all right, talk
Speaker 5: what twer bank, terror bank?
Speaker 1: It's someone I'll go check us out on Patreon and
Speaker 1: it's still the kids. Sorry, even though we here for
Speaker 1: the kid I can't but.
Speaker 2: Patreon dot com backslash horrible decisions for all the boaters
Speaker 2: cuts it and this has been yet another episode of
Speaker 2: horrible decisions. Behind the paywall is such a nice place
Speaker 2: to talk about yourself because o YouTube, they'd be like again,
Speaker 2: y'all running a long time, y'all can something different?
Speaker 1: The bank that's my that's what the I see.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think, Well, when's the last time I cried?
Speaker 2: The last time I cried was on Patreon when I
Speaker 2: was going through it. I got damn bullshit with da bitch.
Speaker 2: I can talk about something emo.
Speaker 1: I know you could be a chemo. So BT weekend came,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend came to LA and I don't really talk
Speaker 1: about my dad too much because for me, I don't
Speaker 1: like to really talk about his health and you know,
Speaker 1: he's getting older. But I was so emotional because he
Speaker 1: met my dad, and my dad was just having a
Speaker 1: hard day. You know, older people like they got a
Speaker 1: good day, they got a bad day. So he just
Speaker 1: made a little care and stuff like that. But it
Speaker 1: was a very vulnerable thing for me to meet my
Speaker 1: dad because no one had met my dad since old
Speaker 1: day and at that point my dad wasn't in a wheelchair,
Speaker 1: so this was like a new thing and we hadn't
Speaker 1: really talked about it much. My mom was there.
Speaker 2: We all just played games together. It was nice, like
Speaker 2: we were enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 1: We hadn't really talked about it. I just told him
Speaker 1: how much it meant to me. Last night we were
Speaker 1: on a double date. He said, we talked to a
Speaker 1: couple that just got We just went to their wedding.
Speaker 1: It was Gila. Y'all always hear me talk about the
Speaker 1: other Gila. So basically we talked about each other's parents
Speaker 1: and he was like, yeah, I just got to meet
Speaker 1: her dad, and it was so nice to see how
Speaker 1: that side of her is. Like I see her mom
Speaker 1: and her but I was glad to see her dad,
Speaker 1: Like I see the more serious side.
Speaker 2: I see this protector energy that she has. I'm like,
Speaker 2: my dad didn't even really talk, so how did you
Speaker 2: see all that? Like all we did is play a game.
Speaker 2: He didn't really say much to you. He was like,
Speaker 2: because I could see it the way you and.
Speaker 1: Your mom would move around. He would want to look
Speaker 1: watch where you're going, to make sure you're good. Even
Speaker 1: if you can't open the door. It's always there, Like
Speaker 1: his masculinity is always there. And I was like, damn, bro,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if it's just dating someone that's
Speaker 1: a little more empathetic or what. But like, I never
Speaker 1: had conversations like this outside of scissors about my parents
Speaker 1: or how things make me feel. Like all day was
Speaker 1: very surface level.
Speaker 2: And I it's a lot of men are, and especially
Speaker 2: black man. It just doesn't hit you until it hits
Speaker 2: you when you have something different. And like, I'm watching
Speaker 2: him and I don't want to start crying and.
Speaker 1: At this table we're having like this fun dinner, but
Speaker 1: I was like he was thinking all that, and he said,
Speaker 1: then I wondered. There were a few moments where I
Speaker 1: was like thinking of how he looked at me and
Speaker 1: he's not even saying this to me. He's saying this
Speaker 1: to Gils has me.
Speaker 2: He's like I can watch him look at me with
Speaker 2: his daughter and like he used to be this protector
Speaker 2: and I'm like the new one now for her.
Speaker 1: And it's like this weird moment I'm having and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what because he told me none of this and he's
Speaker 1: really thinking about it, and he's like and it made
Speaker 1: me wonder how he feels like you should be, you know,
Speaker 1: going and drilling your daughter's new man and figuring all
Speaker 1: this shit and he's like, but maybe he can't do
Speaker 1: that because he's in a wheelchair, but because he can't
Speaker 1: move around on his own, like maybe he's feeling a way.
Speaker 1: And I was like, bro, it was just getting me
Speaker 1: really emotional. And we were on the car home. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like you're gonna be my husband, Like oh,
Speaker 1: that's like I understand now, Like this is why this
Speaker 1: is happening. This weekend we went to a Nigerian wedding
Speaker 1: and I got to be around his parents again. And
Speaker 1: when I walked in, not joking, I was the only
Speaker 1: light skinned person it was. I was like, I felt
Speaker 1: like a white woman nigga. I wanted there. I was like,
Speaker 1: and mind you, I'm asking you sure we all got
Speaker 1: wearing nothing African. He's just not an ante table nigga.
Speaker 2: He's like, no, baby, I'm wearing my fucking tabby booths,
Speaker 2: Like do your thing, like we dressed a lot.
Speaker 1: We're sitting at his whole table.
Speaker 3: His dad.
Speaker 1: Everybody got African council. This is his dad.
Speaker 2: He got up there, he's like making a speech and
Speaker 2: I'm sitting there like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: They think I'm Puerto Rican and they think that I'm
Speaker 1: the woman that made you wear a fucking regular suit.
Speaker 1: Like that's all I could think is that I'm this influence,
Speaker 1: you know. And then I'm also feeling this pressure because
Speaker 1: he's been around my mom a lot, right because we're
Speaker 1: going to LA for a week at a time, and
Speaker 1: you know, my mom's right there, and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: am I not doing enough? Like how do I make
Speaker 1: sure I'm respecting the elders? Like that's such a process
Speaker 1: with Africans, Like, yeah, what do I do to let
Speaker 1: them know like how much I care about their son?
Speaker 1: I don't want to overdo it either with your hands, right,
Speaker 1: we didn't eat too for it, Okay, okay, but making
Speaker 1: the wedding was Jamaican and African. Okay, so I was
Speaker 1: on the corsa all right. But anyway, Yeah, it's really
Speaker 1: tough because now I'm in this phase of my life
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, like I really want to make sure.
Speaker 1: I never thought about being this good for someone's month
Speaker 1: before with their parents.
Speaker 2: But what hit me?
Speaker 1: I'm at this wedding where he introduced me to fifteen uncles,
Speaker 1: ten cousins, you know Africans.
Speaker 2: Family for family's cousin so you just called a segment
Speaker 2: from our bonus content.
Speaker 1: Oprah on Patreon. We have so much more bonus content, BTS,
Speaker 1: live episodes, hundreds of hours. How are you not subscribed?
Speaker 1: Go right now Patreon dot com backslash Rebel Decisions