Speaker 1: I'd like to compare our podcast to a Feltman's of
Speaker 1: Coney Island hot dog because it's long and delicious, exactly
Speaker 1: that Brodie. But most of all, there's no filler. It's
Speaker 1: all action packed with goodness. Well, I have to back
Speaker 1: you up on there, this podcast. I know for effects.
Speaker 1: I had it tested. No night rates, no night trites
Speaker 1: in our podcast, like no filler. Look, we've been talking
Speaker 1: about Feltman's hot dogs for so long. Now you should
Speaker 1: be eating a Feltman's hot dog as you're listening to
Speaker 1: this pods. You will taste the difference and how clean
Speaker 1: it is. You should be sitting on you know what.
Speaker 1: They're right, preach boys, they're not salty at all. Feltman's
Speaker 1: of Coney Island dot com. That's their website. F E
Speaker 1: L T M A N S of Coney Island. Maybe
Speaker 1: you want to go buy some off the website. You
Speaker 1: can get them out of Amazon. Yeah, but they're also
Speaker 1: now at Balducci's and Kings. I would go to any
Speaker 1: of those. I go to shop right they're available shop
Speaker 1: right now. Now. We're winding up with Tailgate season, but
Speaker 1: you still have a few barbecues that you'd like to
Speaker 1: do in the wintertime. I'm gonna use I'm gonna use
Speaker 1: the expression. You hear it all the time. Now, right
Speaker 1: the big game, you get some Feltman's hot dogs, and
Speaker 1: get them now, because if you wait till the week
Speaker 1: of the Big Game, uh, you're not gonna get him.
Speaker 1: This is the real original Charles Feltman. He's got his
Speaker 1: name on it. He invented the hot dog back in
Speaker 1: the eighteen sixties. I'm saying, get some catch up with
Speaker 1: it now. Also, they could sell out a catch up
Speaker 1: for the Big Game. Get it now, you want your mustard. Scary.
Speaker 1: I understand that Feltman's of Coney Island, dot com start
Speaker 1: dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn buys
Speaker 1: dot dot up. They make a noise dot up dot up.
Speaker 1: Episode sixty nine. This is the Brooken Boys podcast. And
Speaker 1: we didn't plan that, by the way, we just knew
Speaker 1: to do that. Okay. So in regards to episode a
Speaker 1: couple of people asked what they didn't understand the title,
Speaker 1: which you explained. And by the way, Bernie and I
Speaker 1: were debate eating the title of the episode back when
Speaker 1: we were naming number sixty eight, and and Brody said
Speaker 1: that should be the title, and I'm like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: do me, doing me, I'll owe you. Won you do
Speaker 1: me and I'll owe you. When I'm like, no one's
Speaker 1: gonna get that. Some people got it, and some people,
Speaker 1: like I listened for the whole episode, I didn't get
Speaker 1: that you should do me. You you do me all
Speaker 1: you want? Reference, Right, Wasn't that something we're going, Oh, Scary,
Speaker 1: you're a twelve year old? Okay, So what Scary did
Speaker 1: was we have a thermostat in the studio here, right,
Speaker 1: And I know for a fact Scary does this in
Speaker 1: his car when he puts the heat on his car.
Speaker 1: Any room he goes into, he changes the I didn't
Speaker 1: have to explain sixty eight first, but he changes the
Speaker 1: temperature to sixty nine and then you chuckle. It's cute. Say,
Speaker 1: if you don't know what sixty nine means or why
Speaker 1: he would put that on his on his thing, you
Speaker 1: probably aren't old enough listen to the podcast, ask mommy
Speaker 1: to explain, not to explain, because understand it. Okay, there's
Speaker 1: has it's a double Okay, it's a double entendre. It's
Speaker 1: a double entree as well. However, there's an old joke.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you have to do sixty eight position and
Speaker 1: we go, what's that? It's you do me, I'll owe
Speaker 1: you one. And so in other words, you do what
Speaker 1: you gotta do to your partner. Well, well they do
Speaker 1: you rather, and you go, I owe you one. Right,
Speaker 1: So it's not quite sixty nine. You're one short of
Speaker 1: sixty nine. It's an old joke. Some people knew what,
Speaker 1: some people didn't. But if you go an urban dictionary
Speaker 1: and put in you know what is you know sixty eight,
Speaker 1: that's a joke a bit for us. We should actually
Speaker 1: turn the thermostat up one degree with every episode from
Speaker 1: here on out, so by the end of the year,
Speaker 1: Will were sweating our asses off exactly not doing that,
Speaker 1: and I'll need it at that point. No, that's like
Speaker 1: when we had ninety eight degrees on the show and
Speaker 1: Elvis wanted the studio ninety degrees. That wasn't fun. Can
Speaker 1: you do do a podcast in a room that's a hundred degrees? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: you know, d degrees feels like, uh, remember back when
Speaker 1: I was in the sauna with Will. Oh, that's okay
Speaker 1: in episode fifty good luck with the float chart for
Speaker 1: this episode. Back to that episode fifty, I got called
Speaker 1: on the carpet because I said, my mom was behind
Speaker 1: some episodes, and I jumped to that episode to I said,
Speaker 1: but my mom listened to order. That was the episode
Speaker 1: we're up to. So don't don't call me out on that. Well,
Speaker 1: episode fifty, when I was in with Will in the sauna,
Speaker 1: we had the sauna up to one hundred eighty degrees.
Speaker 1: So that means if we were to sit here and
Speaker 1: do a show for an hour at a hundred degrees,
Speaker 1: I think we'd be able to hack it. It's not
Speaker 1: that we would be dead, it's that it would be uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I'd be sweating and just I don't want that. But
Speaker 1: then you you know you're releasing toxins when you sweat. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's good for you to sweat. I heard Will told
Speaker 1: me that that the sauna is good for you. I
Speaker 1: get your your abdomen. Bodybuilding guy told you that I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that jacked. I mean, if this is what
Speaker 1: he does, okay, you are? Is he jack because he
Speaker 1: works out or because you got to him? No, let
Speaker 1: me let me say this. Yeah, I should trust people
Speaker 1: that are in good shape. If I see, if I
Speaker 1: see a dentist with perfect teeth, I'm trusting that guy. No,
Speaker 1: you don't trust him, You trust his dentist. You know
Speaker 1: the old riddle. You walk into a small town and
Speaker 1: the two barbershops, and one barber has a crazy haircut,
Speaker 1: and and and and uh, and there's another barber has
Speaker 1: the perfect haircut. Right, his shop is his his shop
Speaker 1: is clean, and and he has a perfect haircut. The
Speaker 1: other guy's shop is is messy, right, and he's got
Speaker 1: a messy haircut. What shop do you go to? Well,
Speaker 1: obviously you go to the one with the messy haircut
Speaker 1: because he's doing business. He's got a hair on the
Speaker 1: floor because he's got customers, and he did the hair right,
Speaker 1: and then most likely yes. But I'm just saying, if
Speaker 1: a guy, when it comes to the world of working out,
Speaker 1: if a person is in perfect shape, I'm trusting that person. Okay,
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to turn the heat up in
Speaker 1: here to a hundred because you and will sweat into
Speaker 1: yourself with those shirts on. But I'm also not trusting
Speaker 1: DJ Valid when he's telling me to go on some
Speaker 1: weight loss program another ton. I mean, would you listen,
Speaker 1: he's got the he's got the what is the keys, right,
Speaker 1: A major key he doesn't have the major key to
Speaker 1: lose weight. He doesn't major key food, right, that's right.
Speaker 1: He needs the major regional SUPERMARKETO major. He needs the
Speaker 1: key to the sundine can open up the fish. No,
Speaker 1: I would not trust him for dieting advice unless he
Speaker 1: was five hundred pounds and he lost it and he's
Speaker 1: down to you know, to eighty whatever. I'm just noting
Speaker 1: against DJE so as I'm saying, saunas are good for you.
Speaker 1: So let's turn up to freaking heating here, man, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Saunas are good for you in limited exposure,
Speaker 1: when you're not wearing clothing and you're in there for
Speaker 1: ten minutes. Saunas are not good when you're fully dressed
Speaker 1: in a room trying to work and focus and be
Speaker 1: amusing hopefully. Uh no, not for an hour and a half,
Speaker 1: all right. I thought speaking of an hour and a half,
Speaker 1: our podcast was ninety one minutes I think last week.
Speaker 1: But it's at a hundred and fifty one. That is
Speaker 1: a glitch. Here's another thing. You're not getting another ninety
Speaker 1: minutes today because we're on a time crunch. Were first
Speaker 1: of all, we have to go home and pack I
Speaker 1: got so much to do today Tomorrow to go to
Speaker 1: the Heart Podcast Awards Radio Podcast Awards, which as you know,
Speaker 1: we're nominated for. If you don't know the full story,
Speaker 1: you can go to our social media at David Brody
Speaker 1: and at Scary Jones or if you prefer at Scary
Speaker 1: Jones and at David Brodie, and of course that's on
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram, you'll you'll see the link to the story.
Speaker 1: Interview we did for AM New York officially reached released
Speaker 1: in the paper. The physical paper today was online yesterday.
Speaker 1: So AM New York is a local New York and
Speaker 1: newspaper and they have a digital component which I go
Speaker 1: to every single day. That's no lie, every day. They
Speaker 1: have entertainment section, politics, news not a sponsor um. They
Speaker 1: have a transit section, opinion section, basically anything at all
Speaker 1: that you want to know about New York. It's your
Speaker 1: New York paper, right okay, and at website. And so
Speaker 1: they did an interview with us on Tuesday. Uh, the
Speaker 1: pictures came out really nice. I thought, I think, I
Speaker 1: thought so too. I'd like to hire that guy and
Speaker 1: haven't followed me. He was, well, the photo credit has
Speaker 1: his name. We should get him. He was really good.
Speaker 1: He used the slimming filter. It was nice whatever that
Speaker 1: was Instagram, and so we had fun. Now I made
Speaker 1: a joke in the interview, and the girl had listened
Speaker 1: to the podcast. She was a fan of the show,
Speaker 1: and she made a joke about putting the Brodian scary scary,
Speaker 1: seems to think. I went behind his back and went
Speaker 1: to her and said, I didn't hear you say it.
Speaker 1: I would have corrected, well, you can't listen to the
Speaker 1: audio because we don't have the audio of the interview,
Speaker 1: but she's sending us clips of the audio from the
Speaker 1: interview so that next week, on next week's podcast, we
Speaker 1: can play clips of it. Well, and I think we
Speaker 1: were very funny, very slickly pulled her aside. And first Nope,
Speaker 1: I said, spell it David correctly, I'm not Dave, and
Speaker 1: I spelled Brody. Why did she put that little wise
Speaker 1: crack in there, because during the interview I said it's
Speaker 1: brody and scary. We were joking, and she said, no,
Speaker 1: I know, I listened to the podcast. So she decided
Speaker 1: in the in the story to write you want to
Speaker 1: get her on the phone next episode, only just I
Speaker 1: only set up that interview. That was my context and
Speaker 1: my people, and I brought that to the embarrassing moment
Speaker 1: because I said, I go to AM New York every night. Um,
Speaker 1: sometimes the writing. The writing is always great, but sometimes
Speaker 1: they leave out dates. Sometimes they'll say, hey, it premieres
Speaker 1: next week. But if you don't know what week, then
Speaker 1: article went up Friday or Monday. You don't know if
Speaker 1: it's next week this week. It's a little confusing. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they sometimes leave out like, oh, it's next week, shoes right.
Speaker 1: Happens a lot. So one particular time I tried, well,
Speaker 1: maybe twice I tracked down the writer of an article.
Speaker 1: I needed the information. Three times. You blame it on
Speaker 1: the intern No, I don't ever blame interns. The writer
Speaker 1: or the writer is the writer of the article. There
Speaker 1: about how it got on the air on our air,
Speaker 1: you blamed our interns. What are you talking about. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying you're you're saying a couple of times you're
Speaker 1: about to tell a star. A couple of times I
Speaker 1: went and I tweeted at the writers of articles and said, hey,
Speaker 1: you didn't say when the show is. You said it's
Speaker 1: on Tuesday, but you didn't say what Tuesday, and I
Speaker 1: don't know when the article went up because the article
Speaker 1: doesn't have a dated to tell you about this, this
Speaker 1: admission moment where you're about to tell elvits say, oh,
Speaker 1: if I make a mistake, Elvis knows it was my mistake,
Speaker 1: and a couple of times it's been because anyway, So
Speaker 1: that when the writer of the article came in, right,
Speaker 1: she said, oh, hi Brodi, I said, guy, it's just
Speaker 1: you don't know if we haven't met, but you've tweeted
Speaker 1: at me that I've left out of articles. She knew me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're a Scotch. She wrote, age have her name.
Speaker 1: We'll pull up her name real quick. Your name is
Speaker 1: Megan Giannata, Megan gian I think she's uh m e
Speaker 1: g h G I A right, because nice Jewish girl,
Speaker 1: far from it, far from Jewish, but very nice. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so we're flying out tomorrow and hopefully we'll come home
Speaker 1: with a piece of glass. Did we talk about the
Speaker 1: upgrade fee? You're not? Why? Okay? So scary? Uh? And
Speaker 1: I got booked and we wanted window seats so we
Speaker 1: weren't gonna be sitting together and long, I gotta sit
Speaker 1: down for this. Here we go. Here comes Brodie's first
Speaker 1: moment where he gets terrail on me. I got, I
Speaker 1: gotta really a couple of times, Okay, I think I
Speaker 1: think you guys, I think the slices are gonna agree
Speaker 1: mostly with me. But we'll say, of course they're frugal.
Speaker 1: It's not about being Okay. So what airline are we on? United? Maybe? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, good airline? Do we have a choice? Not
Speaker 1: a sponsor? And uh, speaking sponsors, We're gonna talk about
Speaker 1: sponsors in a minute, remind me. So we get our
Speaker 1: flight assignments are seat assignments were both by windows different
Speaker 1: parts of the plane. And I'm I don't know. The
Speaker 1: plane's got thirty rows. Maybe I'm in road twenty three,
Speaker 1: so I'm towards the back. Scary text me and he says,
Speaker 1: you gotta upgrade. You got for twurdion forty three dollars
Speaker 1: round trip round trip, round trip three. You didn't say that.
Speaker 1: He said two ft three. It's about dollars each way go.
Speaker 1: You said two dollars. Whatever. It was upgrades in the
Speaker 1: front of the plane. You got an upgrade board, you
Speaker 1: got upgrade, you get on first, got up good. So
Speaker 1: I texted back. I said oh, that's a good price
Speaker 1: for first class to get to the front of the plane.
Speaker 1: And you said, no, no, not first class, just to
Speaker 1: get closer to the front so he can get on
Speaker 1: and off fast night. The front row of coach where
Speaker 1: you have Have you ever seen rows seven seven? When
Speaker 1: the front row of coach, let me tell you about
Speaker 1: rose seven. That's the extra room. But I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what I don't like. You gotta use armrest screen. I
Speaker 1: don't want armrest screen, armrest tray. I want the tray
Speaker 1: in front of it. That's the trade off. I want
Speaker 1: leg room, and I want to be able to If
Speaker 1: I got the middle seat of that front row, it's
Speaker 1: no problem because all three people. Nobody has to get
Speaker 1: it for anybody, because you get all that you got
Speaker 1: like you could fit like a huge freaking like a
Speaker 1: lot of room. Any No, I just I'm just saying
Speaker 1: it's worth every penny. On on a hold on on
Speaker 1: a six hour flight. We're going New York to l A.
Speaker 1: That's just looks a long flight. So I said, think
Speaker 1: you first of all, thinking it was first of all
Speaker 1: was one way, I said two and fifty dollars roughly,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure they'll throw tax on. There is a
Speaker 1: lot to pay just to be closer to the front
Speaker 1: of the plane. As I like to say, you'll hit
Speaker 1: the mountain before I do. So that's terrible. What a
Speaker 1: But that's a lot of that's a lot of money
Speaker 1: to upgrade a seat, not in the first class. They're
Speaker 1: flying us out, they're flying us, They're paying for all
Speaker 1: this stuff. I feel if that's the only expense in
Speaker 1: my weekend, it's not gonna be. You're gonna want to
Speaker 1: go to a fancy restaurant. You're gonna drag me out
Speaker 1: to a fancy I'm I'm a dr fat loss. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna eat conservatively and clean. That's fine. We can still
Speaker 1: go to a nice place so I can eat like
Speaker 1: a normal human beings. So I can sit there and
Speaker 1: want you. And that's the way it works. Maybe this
Speaker 1: is what I'm gonna buy you a steak dinner. This
Speaker 1: could be the moment by myself. By steak dinner. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stare at you. Nothing. No one says I have
Speaker 1: to eat. That's no one said I have to eat.
Speaker 1: We will pay for it, all right, We'll have to
Speaker 1: figure a nice steak place. Okay, night, though, I can
Speaker 1: go to a steakhouse. That's Saturday before the old concert
Speaker 1: we're going to. We gotta figure that out. I think
Speaker 1: Saturday we go to We're going to Alter Ego, which
Speaker 1: is I Heart Radio is big a rock concert. That's
Speaker 1: that's the night after that, Saturday night, right Saturday, which
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what you're gonna do there. There's like
Speaker 1: eight bands playing, and I don't think you know more
Speaker 1: than like two songs by the Killers, Killers, Wheezer, weez Or. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't know Muse, you don't know the Views. I
Speaker 1: know a couple. Yeah, I wish I knew you when
Speaker 1: I was your honey one pilots. You'll like a couple
Speaker 1: of songs out listen, I know a few. I'm a
Speaker 1: you're gonna dress rock and roll chic for the alt
Speaker 1: rock consif alt rockets, I think I'm gonna go Brooklyn
Speaker 1: industrial Bok industrial set. But no but so yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 1: come at me, Bra with the plane thing. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: worked every penny. Yeah, you know what we're gonna take.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take that two hundred forty three dollars plus tax,
Speaker 1: and I'm spend it on something that I need. I
Speaker 1: think some of our listeners would agree that they would
Speaker 1: pay that that's fine if they have the extra money.
Speaker 1: I get feel like I feel, especially if you're not
Speaker 1: paying for anything else about the flight. If I had
Speaker 1: money to burn, I'd like it's a semi decent investment.
Speaker 1: We're not paying for the hotel, we're not paying for
Speaker 1: the flight. Doesn't give me more money in my bank account.
Speaker 1: So you you think differently. You go, well, the flight's free,
Speaker 1: I'll pay to forty. No, I'm thinking the flights free.
Speaker 1: And if I pay to for you, the flight's no
Speaker 1: longer free. So I don't look at it that way.
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a glasses half full guy. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a glass with a crack, and but I can't
Speaker 1: afford new glasses. I'm gona use glass to cracking it
Speaker 1: anyway all day, all day, you sit there in the
Speaker 1: back of the plane and smell the bathroom ship whatever
Speaker 1: I'll spend them. You know what I'll do. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take two dred and forty three singles on the plane
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna keep counting them. I'm gonna smell
Speaker 1: that money. You're gonna know that what else can I buy?
Speaker 1: Two dollars. That's how I do. It's gonna buy feel free.
Speaker 1: You get to hang out in the back of the bathroom,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. And I'm gonna be watching movies. We have
Speaker 1: all the movies from our sag Aftra. We're in the Union.
Speaker 1: We have all the movies that were nominated. I'm gonna watch.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch maybe Vice on the plane. Good luck
Speaker 1: on bringing in your carry on and finding some some
Speaker 1: overhead compartment space. In one you're in group for talking
Speaker 1: to David Brody from the Brooken Boys podcast. You'll be
Speaker 1: in the back. I'm gonna go with you because you're
Speaker 1: gonna say we're traveling together. You'll be great. If you
Speaker 1: applied for a T s A pre so that's what
Speaker 1: you can get here. If there's any T s A agents,
Speaker 1: by the way, that's not redundant. A is not for agent.
Speaker 1: If there's any T s A agents working that day,
Speaker 1: I'll be thrilled this stupid government shutdown. Those poor bastards
Speaker 1: have to work for free, and I hope they're in
Speaker 1: good spirits. God willing will get on a plane and
Speaker 1: no one will bring a bomb on the plane, So
Speaker 1: I'm not worried about I just want to get on
Speaker 1: the plane and getting land safely. Okay, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: fly out of this mess because a big storm is
Speaker 1: coming here. Oh New York. We're gonna miss that, thank god. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh so when we mentioned sponsors, let's get this out
Speaker 1: of the way, we went, okay, oh god, yes, this
Speaker 1: is the big Is this the pink elephant in the room?
Speaker 1: This pound grill. This is the eight hundred pound pink
Speaker 1: elephant gorilla that had sex with each other. And there's
Speaker 1: a elephant gorilla. There are things that are beyond our
Speaker 1: control that you must know about. Let's pull back the curtain, Brody,
Speaker 1: before we go further with any entertainment. This is suddenly
Speaker 1: not becoming a This is becoming quickly a not film,
Speaker 1: film and hot dog podcast. This is a little it's
Speaker 1: information formative. It's not comedy. But alright, so let's just
Speaker 1: tell everybody. For for the first sixties seven episodes, we
Speaker 1: would upload our podcast to uh server owned bike let's
Speaker 1: say company A. Yeah, just a company A. And then
Speaker 1: we would we would we would do our commercials for
Speaker 1: Feltman's and the State company. We did all the things,
Speaker 1: popcorn whatever, and that would all be live and all
Speaker 1: recorded together and it would go up and done. And
Speaker 1: our company has signed a deal with a great new
Speaker 1: company that has a lot of functionality and features and
Speaker 1: cool things and their own sales staff and their own
Speaker 1: sales staff and what they are able to do, which
Speaker 1: you may have noticed. Uh, I keep I keep in
Speaker 1: mind scary and I have to get better at verbally
Speaker 1: allowing for spaces for these ads. Uh, they're going to
Speaker 1: put ads in. For instance, our old, our old way
Speaker 1: of doing things was we would do a commercial for
Speaker 1: the Oma Stakes, which would not a sponsor anymore, and
Speaker 1: we would say, oh, Father's Day sale. But then like
Speaker 1: six months later you'd go back to the podcast and
Speaker 1: that it would be a Father's Day commercial. If you
Speaker 1: listen to a year from now, you're like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: Father's Day again. There must be a You might be
Speaker 1: hearing this right now looking for a Feltman's hot dog
Speaker 1: at Baltucci's. But next thing you know, uh that they
Speaker 1: don't sell them there anymore a year, a year from
Speaker 1: now when you're hearing this. So this new company has
Speaker 1: this great technology that allows them to put in the
Speaker 1: commercial digitally after we're done with the recording and we
Speaker 1: post it and then replace that commercial when its it
Speaker 1: expires with with a new, updated commercial, which is good
Speaker 1: for you as the consumer because you're not hearing outdated commercials. However,
Speaker 1: if they don't have a commercial, if they haven't sold
Speaker 1: the inventory meeting those spaces that they've allotted now in
Speaker 1: our podcast, they will place a placeholder, which could be
Speaker 1: a promo for another podcast. So you might be hearing
Speaker 1: some filler, you know, in a little bit when wee
Speaker 1: that button, when we say you know what, we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about what happened to Chinese restaurant? Right after this,
Speaker 1: there'll be a commercial we haven't heard, possibly or a promo.
Speaker 1: Now it may sound like the podcast switch, don't freak out,
Speaker 1: it's an ad for another podcast, is the flip side
Speaker 1: of that is Hopefully going forward, our podcast promos will
Speaker 1: be on other people's podcasts, so that will help out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you might be listening to another podcast and our promo.
Speaker 1: Thank you in advance for enjoying and accepting the new situation.
Speaker 1: But just know that we have to leave these spaces
Speaker 1: for this new company's salespeople to give them a chance
Speaker 1: to put commercials in those spots, and if they don't
Speaker 1: we're gonna hear promos, right and we have no control
Speaker 1: over that. And by the way, as we're recording this
Speaker 1: and when we listen back, we don't even know. We
Speaker 1: don't know what commercials are going in there. Sometimes we will,
Speaker 1: sometime we will, but not right now, we don't. It's
Speaker 1: so they at least until they sell them. If it's
Speaker 1: just a promo, we don't know the problem. These are
Speaker 1: just pre arranged slots that we have to make. Sorry
Speaker 1: about that in advance, but just know that we love
Speaker 1: you anyway. Just technology, and it really is good for
Speaker 1: us career wise because it's gonna put our promos, you know,
Speaker 1: the people in their podcast and and branches out a
Speaker 1: little bit. As Martha Stewart once said, it's a good thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: speaking of good things, I want to give a little
Speaker 1: free dessert story if I might. Amazon Prime. Uh not
Speaker 1: during the holidays, but between Christmas and New Year's I
Speaker 1: ordered a digital scale to weigh things. You know, I
Speaker 1: sell stuff on eBay, which, by the way, eBay is
Speaker 1: one of my many rants today and talk about eBay.
Speaker 1: I order a digital scale to replace the digital scale
Speaker 1: that broke. I order the same company scale, a newer
Speaker 1: model and Amazon Prime. It's two days, right, order it
Speaker 1: on a Wednesday, you get it on Friday. I'm like, great,
Speaker 1: I have like six things on eBay that are about
Speaker 1: to come forward that I sold. Uh that bids on
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to weigh them. I need this scale.
Speaker 1: I ordered the scale Wednesday. No scale Thursday, no scale Friday, Saturday,
Speaker 1: Sunday shows up Monday. How convenient to them? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I go, I pay for Amazon Prime. I know Jeff
Speaker 1: Bezos going through a tough time going through a divorce. Uh,
Speaker 1: but I want my scale. So I called up Amazon
Speaker 1: and I get a very nice gentleman from who knows
Speaker 1: where in the world, and he says, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: terribly sorry. Uh, we want to make you happy. I said, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like paying full price for the scale.
Speaker 1: It took four days. I had to keep my customers waiting.
Speaker 1: I was trying to ship stuff. He says, you're absolutely right,
Speaker 1: full refund on the scale, full refund, boom good. So
Speaker 1: I didn't even ask for free dessert. That's a company
Speaker 1: that gets it. I love Amazon when they ship my
Speaker 1: stuff on time. My pants ship my pants, that's all throwaway.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to give Amazon some props. Um they're
Speaker 1: speaking of selling things, I want to talk about exercise bike.
Speaker 1: So you know, it's that time of year when you
Speaker 1: buy an exercise bikes. Everyone's buying. They're going to gym's
Speaker 1: exercise bike. So one of my kids says, hey, you've
Speaker 1: got a gift card for a couple of different stores
Speaker 1: that sell exercise bikes. Why don't use your gift card
Speaker 1: on an exercise bike. I'm like, they're like four, I
Speaker 1: know there's some less don't tweet me. So as I
Speaker 1: don't want to use my three hundred all gift card
Speaker 1: on an exercise bike, then I gotta pay another hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty. So I go on Facebook and I see
Speaker 1: that you know, everyone's selling their exercise by because you know,
Speaker 1: everyone buys exercise equipment, and they put the Nordic track
Speaker 1: right in the basement and leave it there. Right, you
Speaker 1: get the bow flex, use it for a week, and
Speaker 1: you're like, I gotta go right, Like gym membership's good,
Speaker 1: then February whatever, right, Okay, shake weight, you know, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm keeping my shake weight. So everybody sells their gym
Speaker 1: equipment in January while everyone's looking to bid gym equipment.
Speaker 1: So I look at this post and it's a woman
Speaker 1: in um Central Pennsylvania, which is too far for me
Speaker 1: to go anyway, But I see she's selling an exercise
Speaker 1: bike and I recognize it because it looks like another
Speaker 1: one I was interested in the me it's the same model.
Speaker 1: Now she hasn't listed as a s c h w
Speaker 1: e r I N squaring s c h w e
Speaker 1: r I N Like, I've never heard of that. So
Speaker 1: I I zoom in on the picture, really zoom in
Speaker 1: because I know the bike. I know it's a model
Speaker 1: number two thirty. I know what it is is. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe maybe it's a knockoff, right, And I
Speaker 1: zoom in and there it is s h w I
Speaker 1: n N schwinn s. So I email the woman right
Speaker 1: through Facebook and I say, I say, I just want
Speaker 1: to be clear and if it helps you out right,
Speaker 1: I think your bike is a Schwin s h w
Speaker 1: I n N not grammar policing her. I'm just letting
Speaker 1: her know it's a Schwin. And she said right, and
Speaker 1: she says, no, I'm sorry, it's a Schwaron and she
Speaker 1: writes the okay, and I said, hey, a couple of things.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm just trying to help you out here.
Speaker 1: Number one is no such bike as a Schwaron. I
Speaker 1: googled it. Number two, the famous bike company is Schwinn.
Speaker 1: And number three I zoomed in on your picture. It
Speaker 1: says she went on the side, so you know, if
Speaker 1: it'll help you sell the bike. Good luck to you,
Speaker 1: Happy New Year, And she writes back, Oh, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: if we're not all as small are as you are.
Speaker 1: No everything, what a bitch, I'm trying to help you
Speaker 1: jump bumpkin ass. And you're like, you're telling me it's
Speaker 1: a swearing. She's you know what, she's missing out on
Speaker 1: clicks because he's gonna search for swearing. No one's searching
Speaker 1: for swearing. Did the fucking things salad? But you's still
Speaker 1: up there. Well, you know what I'm gonna look for
Speaker 1: see if there's a swearing. By the way, you need
Speaker 1: the phone number the Stakhouse. Oh yeah, we gotta call.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be all our listeners have been calling.
Speaker 1: They can't get through. You get through witness. And if
Speaker 1: if you don't, if you don't know what we're talking about,
Speaker 1: we're talking about Peter Luker Steakhouse in Brooklyn. Brody's been
Speaker 1: trying to make a reservation there since before Christmas, trying
Speaker 1: to get in there. And every time he calls, no
Speaker 1: matter what part of the day it is, it's busy,
Speaker 1: and I'm convinced they keep their phone off the hook.
Speaker 1: But I think we're gonna see if we can call
Speaker 1: them now. If we get through, what are we gonna say?
Speaker 1: I try to make a resident, you have a date, date,
Speaker 1: we'll beat it out so that okay, I'll give you
Speaker 1: the phone number. You see if they're around. It's a
Speaker 1: weekly call to um Steakhouse. Let's do it right now.
Speaker 1: Give me just to finish my story. If you search
Speaker 1: for Schwinn on Facebook swap shops, the swearing doesn't come up.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna see if the Schwarin is still still available.
Speaker 1: Why can't people take constructive criticism? That's what I want
Speaker 1: to know. You're helping the woman out right. I'm saying
Speaker 1: she's losing. Does she not realize how much she was losing?
Speaker 1: They're busy. I don't think they I don't think they
Speaker 1: want to do business. I don't know, man, how do
Speaker 1: they book preservations these days? There's got to be another number.
Speaker 1: There's gotta be. Nope, there's gotta there's gotta be and
Speaker 1: we're gonna call him later in the podcast try it
Speaker 1: one more time. We're talking about the famous Peter Luker
Speaker 1: Steakhouse in Brooklyn, famous for steak setting the precedent. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know my mom, she sometimes makes preservations, but I
Speaker 1: don't know how she gets through. It's like trying. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm trying to win a radio contest here. Okay,
Speaker 1: the schwarin is no longer for my guess is she
Speaker 1: has a friend and they told her that I'm still busy. Okay, uh,
Speaker 1: and we want I want to go back. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about our friends Selino and Barnes, because, first
Speaker 1: of all, you're all familiar with the explained before you
Speaker 1: play the jingle Seleno, it's seal and it's two lawyers.
Speaker 1: Started in Buffalo, New York. They hired a guy to
Speaker 1: make a jingle. Jingle became so popular that they blew
Speaker 1: up their national law firm. Hold On eight, so you
Speaker 1: gotta hear the whole thing. Play it again, Okay, hold
Speaker 1: on So I love them for the past year or
Speaker 1: two now they've been fighting over they want to break
Speaker 1: up the company. They hate each other and who owns
Speaker 1: the jingle? Who owns the phone number? Because it's like
Speaker 1: in fact, I think it was last year it was
Speaker 1: a Seleno and Barnes jingle challenge where celebrities were singing
Speaker 1: their own versions of the jingle and posting it online
Speaker 1: slee on Bonds challenge, And so we were talking about
Speaker 1: them for some reason this week on the Big Show,
Speaker 1: and uh, we played the commercial and I said, you
Speaker 1: know what, I have an idea. I bet you these
Speaker 1: guys who were fighting, they probably need a new jingle
Speaker 1: to play the original jingle again, and it will play
Speaker 1: the new version that I created for them. Fo bars
Speaker 1: in Attorneys eight hundred. Don't wait, don't wait, call it
Speaker 1: not a commercial for them. We just played it, but
Speaker 1: that's not a commercial, not a sponsor. They hate each other.
Speaker 1: Here's what I wrote, Pino and Barns to fighting attorneys.
Speaker 1: They hate hate, hate, hate hate each other, no joke,
Speaker 1: they hate each other. Yeah. I gotta tell you the
Speaker 1: singers on the original and the singers on this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we did a good job on canny jobs and bars Shah.
Speaker 1: We have act. We have good people. Here at the
Speaker 1: do that that well, we have you know, let do
Speaker 1: all my parodies. Those are harmonies, and those are several
Speaker 1: voices of men and women put together. How did you
Speaker 1: know that was the perfect cocktail to make it sound exact?
Speaker 1: Because we have a husband and wife jingles singer couple
Speaker 1: that comes into the I Heart Radio comedy division that
Speaker 1: you know I also work for, and they comminencing our jingless.
Speaker 1: You can't tell the difference. I can't tell the difference. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, which one is this one? Which one
Speaker 1: is this one? That's the original? No, it's not, no, no,
Speaker 1: I know the original version is a little bit muffled
Speaker 1: from YouTube and it has a little bit old, the
Speaker 1: old timey sound. Look at that. At that, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: listening for the I'm listening for the qualities of their voices.
Speaker 1: Let's playing together, dude. It's great. The buttons together and
Speaker 1: it's the same. It's like one big step. It's exact work.
Speaker 1: Had it right the first time? That's good. Yeah, they're good.
Speaker 1: But we have anything. Yeah, we have people who sound
Speaker 1: like everybody. We have people sing like DJ Kaled, Britney Spears,
Speaker 1: you name it. We have just listen New York. Uh
Speaker 1: fortunately or unfortunately is a wealth of talent that people
Speaker 1: who are at their their jingle singers, their their background singers,
Speaker 1: their commercial jingle singers. There the people do this for
Speaker 1: a living while they're trying to get famous, or their
Speaker 1: Broadway singers, and and they part time they sing parodies
Speaker 1: for us mhm, and some of them sound they can
Speaker 1: replicate voices they hear. Yeah, so that's it's Leno and Barnes.
Speaker 1: I do want to call you out on on joked
Speaker 1: stealing and get to that. I got eBay, I have
Speaker 1: a lot of unused jokes. I got everyone loves this.
Speaker 1: Let me just read. Uh. So, over vacation, we had
Speaker 1: two weeks, I decided to really really really clean up
Speaker 1: my home office and my garage. And in my garage,
Speaker 1: I've got these giant rubber made buckets. You see them
Speaker 1: in every one getting home depot. The big buckets back
Speaker 1: in my own storage facility and there it's about the
Speaker 1: tip over right. So I decided I was going to
Speaker 1: go through them. So I ended up condensing so much.
Speaker 1: I got rid of like six buckets. But in one
Speaker 1: of the buckets was a couple of things that I
Speaker 1: found very interesting one of them that I found things
Speaker 1: that it was great in. My wife took me to
Speaker 1: Chicago on a trip to see a Mets game at
Speaker 1: Wrigley Field, and I got to go to a show
Speaker 1: to see Second City, which is an improv troupe. They're famous.
Speaker 1: Most of the senatent live players have come out of there.
Speaker 1: A lot of them, Uh, Second City Television SCTV and
Speaker 1: old Sketch Show where Eugene Levy came out of and U,
Speaker 1: John Candy and a lot of Rick Ranis all came
Speaker 1: out of Second City somewhere. That's a It's a company
Speaker 1: that really trains people well on improv and they perform.
Speaker 1: I think Steve Corral, Steve Colbert did it. A lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of big names. And so I got
Speaker 1: the play bill, you know, the thing to hand out
Speaker 1: that tells you who's in the cast and this adds
Speaker 1: for local restaurants. So I found a couple of those.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh from my trip in nineties six and
Speaker 1: a great time. Let me go through and see who
Speaker 1: who the people were that performed when I saw that night.
Speaker 1: And so it says like, you know, Mike Hartley, he's
Speaker 1: a student of Northwestern and he studied under this person
Speaker 1: and he did this play and he's been a cast
Speaker 1: member for six months whatever. So the first guy is
Speaker 1: um uh, it doesn't matter for here for the story,
Speaker 1: it's Pete something. I think, Pete Eichler, Pete, don't to
Speaker 1: tweet me. It's the tall bald guy from thirty Rock,
Speaker 1: one of the writers. Okay, and then I scrolled down
Speaker 1: to the bottom left column and it's Rachel Dratch right,
Speaker 1: Rachel Drafts was in the can and who because she
Speaker 1: was like this young girl do an improv years before
Speaker 1: sn L, probably like eight seven eight years before she
Speaker 1: was on SNL. Whatever it was, Okay. Then I got
Speaker 1: on the right column, so and so so and so
Speaker 1: and I see I jumped ahead and I see studied
Speaker 1: with Amy Poehler. I go study with Amy Poehler. Who's
Speaker 1: that Tina Faye? So you saw and Pete from thirty
Speaker 1: Rock in the cast. That's how long they've known. Inspired
Speaker 1: me to go to take all my Broadway show playbills
Speaker 1: that I have. I have tons of them and look
Speaker 1: through who was in the cast that night. That could
Speaker 1: be big, huge celebrities right now, yeah, yeah, but you
Speaker 1: know who knew? But back back then. I will tell
Speaker 1: you this. I went to a taping of Oh God,
Speaker 1: I forgot what show was it, Conan O'Brien or whatever
Speaker 1: it was. It was an NBC show in the nineties,
Speaker 1: and uh, to warm up the crowd, they brought it. Then,
Speaker 1: I said, because they do a crowd warming when when
Speaker 1: everybody the audience is sitting there, they want the energy
Speaker 1: and when everybody the comedy. So so yeah, so comedians
Speaker 1: come in and they do like ten minutes to stand
Speaker 1: up right before they started taping, so everybody's alive, Like,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, please from SNL. He just got his start.
Speaker 1: Welcome Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy. I got to see Jimmy Fallon
Speaker 1: warm up the crowd when he was just a kid,
Speaker 1: and it was great. It might have actually been uh
Speaker 1: during a taping of Saturday Night Live, now that I
Speaker 1: think about it, do you think he you know, he
Speaker 1: was he was one of the he was one of
Speaker 1: the featured players at the time. He wasn't like on
Speaker 1: the main cast yet, and and he just came out
Speaker 1: and he did like ten minutes of just hilarious you know,
Speaker 1: audience interactive stuff before the show went on. The air. Huh.
Speaker 1: I got to see Jimmy Fawn do that. Another thing
Speaker 1: I got to see Paul I'm sorry, um, Ray Romano
Speaker 1: do stand up at the comedy loves him exactly Raymond
Speaker 1: so he was. It was at the local place in
Speaker 1: New York City, down in in the village and it
Speaker 1: was awesome. I'm like, oh my god. At the time,
Speaker 1: I didn't know, but I later realized that this is
Speaker 1: the guy that was you know I started on TV.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's the guy I saw like four years ago.
Speaker 1: Other things I found in the rubbing bad box. Uh.
Speaker 1: One of my all time favorite awful intern cover letters.
Speaker 1: Not part of what I've been reading. And by the way,
Speaker 1: I think I had more that we didn't get to
Speaker 1: off the check for next episode. But here's one. Uh.
Speaker 1: It starts off. Her name is Amanda Um. I don't
Speaker 1: want to give out her last name, although she she
Speaker 1: This is from two thousand seven, so eleven years later.
Speaker 1: She's in her thirties. She has a private account on Instagram,
Speaker 1: so I can't even look her up. Um. She went
Speaker 1: to school in the New York area, try state New York,
Speaker 1: New Jersey or Connecticut area, and I guess she was
Speaker 1: trying to be too cool for the room or funny.
Speaker 1: But here's why I did not hire her. Your bits
Speaker 1: like phone tap are lame and outdated. Start with a
Speaker 1: compliment for what you pay interns. By the way, we
Speaker 1: didn't pay the interns back then, they worked on college credit.
Speaker 1: For what you pay interns, I cannot promise better ideas
Speaker 1: than that, but I will give ad and be a
Speaker 1: positive force for the show. So she was trying to
Speaker 1: be a smartass out of the gate. No, I think, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know what she's going for here, is going
Speaker 1: for the joke. No, obviously she thinks that she wants
Speaker 1: she's doing something to stand in because sometimes they tell
Speaker 1: you resume class. You gotta you gotta come up with
Speaker 1: an opening line that's gonna get there. And she said,
Speaker 1: your your bits, your all your bits, Your bits like
Speaker 1: phone tap. By the way, it's the phone tap like
Speaker 1: phone tap are lame and outdated. What she should have
Speaker 1: said was, although your phone taps and other bits are
Speaker 1: pretty good for what you pay interns, I can't promise
Speaker 1: better like a joke like, hey, you're good, I'm getting
Speaker 1: paid for free, but I'm gonna work class. I'm working
Speaker 1: for free, but you said there lame and outdated. Now,
Speaker 1: first of all, if you're listening to this and you
Speaker 1: think that on you, okay, I'm on a kidding. Second
Speaker 1: of all, you don't ingratiate yourself to me when I'm
Speaker 1: one of the main players who does phone taps. Don't
Speaker 1: do it. So uh F you, Amanda, last initial. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go crazy today. You know what we're gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say, last initial, k Amanda, Kay? Do you one
Speaker 1: of the all time dumbest opening lines of of a
Speaker 1: cover letter? Do we have her address still? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: see where she loves good. Let's let's send her something
Speaker 1: like she bagel or something bagel. Oh oh, oh my
Speaker 1: god Instagram at the Brooklyn Boys podcast on Instagram. Hilarious,
Speaker 1: Brodie and it is a visual. But you gotta you, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what this is. So Brodie talks
Speaker 1: about ship bagels. We we don't like bagels. That are
Speaker 1: that are bag of bagel, bag of bagels, frozen ship
Speaker 1: They're not bagels, they're sho bagels. Well and Mouren on
Speaker 1: Instagram slid into our d m s and said, I
Speaker 1: wonder if these are like she bagels and it's a
Speaker 1: picture of a jar Brody. Yeah, we'll have real company
Speaker 1: ship pickles s h p I c k l E S.
Speaker 1: I didn't say that. Spickles and it is if you
Speaker 1: A'm trying to zoom it, they're Oh my god, they're
Speaker 1: Brooklyn pickles. They're from Brooklyn Pickles and their logo has
Speaker 1: the Coney Island parachute jump and the Brooklyn Bridge hold on.
Speaker 1: But here's what they made of Collie flower and beats.
Speaker 1: Brooklyn pickles. That's a ship pickle. They're probably brown. But
Speaker 1: what where's the y? S h. It's a real product, pickles,
Speaker 1: no spickles, spickles. It's not a sho bagel. It's not again,
Speaker 1: it's a spagel. I just want to know. I just
Speaker 1: want to know what. I don't want to disparage them.
Speaker 1: But it's not even like a play on words. It's
Speaker 1: not like, oh, we took the beat. It's the beats
Speaker 1: and now your shirts. Sh pickle like sam Hoffman pickle
Speaker 1: or something. Spickles, ship pickles, ship pickles, spickles, shpickles, spartacles.
Speaker 1: But what but what does it have to do with
Speaker 1: what the what's in the what's in there this calif
Speaker 1: flower and what it's his califlower? And beats pickles, beats beats.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying. I'm just saying, Brodie, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's like some healthy pickles, sh pickles. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it stands for. But if you don't know
Speaker 1: what it means, but you have a guess at what
Speaker 1: you think it means, you could tweet us. Please do Yeah,
Speaker 1: let us know that one we want? Please tweet us? Right,
Speaker 1: Let's let me look at some Instagram things that were
Speaker 1: sent to me since our last episode. Um, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I did this one already or not from
Speaker 1: No It's muffin? Did we talk about this? A donut
Speaker 1: place asked me to pull forward, so I asked why.
Speaker 1: He said, the manager is strict about time. I said, okay,
Speaker 1: for a free donut, I'll do it. They were out
Speaker 1: of strawberry frost, and that they gave me three extra
Speaker 1: donuts hashtag free dessert. I've ever read that? Last week? Uh?
Speaker 1: That Tera girl? Uh? Did I read this one too?
Speaker 1: Which one she was? There's a special parking sign at
Speaker 1: Panera says drive through parking, thank you for your patients Nope,
Speaker 1: it's spreading um at loons more tease manny a. So
Speaker 1: they're doing this thing where they stop and make you
Speaker 1: wait before you pull to the window so they don't
Speaker 1: clock themselves. So this is at uh oh, it looks
Speaker 1: like Burger King. So here's what they did. You order
Speaker 1: at the first window and they tell you don't pull
Speaker 1: up to the second window until they wave their arm
Speaker 1: out the window and tell you to pull up. So
Speaker 1: it's the reverse fucker. It's they rather than pull up
Speaker 1: and then pull forward, you don't pull all the way
Speaker 1: up yet, right, and this way the timers it doesn't
Speaker 1: trigger the time. Okay, So what happened to Manny? You
Speaker 1: got limbo fucked? They put him in limbo in between
Speaker 1: the two windows to sit and wait. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Now let's see bab hawk. Richard sends us a picture
Speaker 1: of a sign. Uh was this a mistake or what?
Speaker 1: Mun cheese? Pizza, wings and kebab like man is one
Speaker 1: word and cheese. Now, I don't know he was looking
Speaker 1: for a grammar police there, I think. But but my
Speaker 1: problem is not with that. It's it's a pizzeria that
Speaker 1: sells wings and kebab. Do you buy a slice of
Speaker 1: pizza from a place that also sold kebab, Brodie, Uh,
Speaker 1: is it a pizza plate? Now here's the question. Is
Speaker 1: it a pizza place that wants to cater to some
Speaker 1: of the locals. Like sometimes you go to a Chinese
Speaker 1: restaurant and they've got chicken wings and French fries because
Speaker 1: they know there's people that like, they, oh, my kid
Speaker 1: doesn't need Chinese food, so they add it like it's
Speaker 1: a pizza place, but it's in a maybe a Middle
Speaker 1: Eastern area where they add the gyro a Greek area rather,
Speaker 1: and they and uh, and they want you to like,
Speaker 1: I'll have a gyro walza. But if it's a Gyro place,
Speaker 1: I'm not buying their pizza. If it's a pizza place, now,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm buying the gyro. And by the way,
Speaker 1: we all know it's a euro. We're not saying it
Speaker 1: it's gyro. Uh, I know what it is. Yeah. By
Speaker 1: the way, handyman Vin twenty one also d M does
Speaker 1: and he thought he was standing behind you at a
Speaker 1: Chick fil at the Freehold Mall. Have you been there recently, Brodie? Wait?
Speaker 1: Chick fil A? Well, that's since they me at the
Speaker 1: air point well because uh buck, the couple next to
Speaker 1: him are in front of him, the woman ordered to
Speaker 1: diet coke and the husband chimed in no ice, so
Speaker 1: they thought of you Brodie? Sure it wasn't you. It
Speaker 1: was definitely not making um By the way, Uh, that
Speaker 1: son of a bitch, David Brodie, who's not me from
Speaker 1: the Christian like crazy this week, so I'm I'm constantly
Speaker 1: getting his text messages, his tweets. Rather shout out to
Speaker 1: Mark Dad owned for the on Instagram, who left us
Speaker 1: a really really nice review on Apple iTunes. Speaking of which,
Speaker 1: if you haven't reviewed us on i Tunes and you're
Speaker 1: listening to this, please go on iTunes and send us
Speaker 1: a review. Five stars would be great, you know, just
Speaker 1: like your Uber driver, but it would really help us
Speaker 1: because I think there's been some um some more a
Speaker 1: seventy seven out there. It's up to eight eight people
Speaker 1: hate us. Eight people don't love us? Why hate you? Eight?
Speaker 1: Come on? Now? We we we do the best for
Speaker 1: you every week possible, right now? Yeah, we don't. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then I also just want to shout out to
Speaker 1: what is this? Oh no, no, let us n os
Speaker 1: l E t a s on Instagram. Hey Skerri and Brodie,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for putting on a great podcast every week.
Speaker 1: You guys truly, you guys truly feel like one of
Speaker 1: the boys. I hope you both enjoy your holiday season.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was back in December, but I just read
Speaker 1: it yesterday. I can't wait for the next podcast, the
Speaker 1: Brooke and Boys podcast at that is on Instagram. I
Speaker 1: also want to send a special shout out. Steven Spielberg
Speaker 1: is read dooing the movie Side Story, Classic movie. It's
Speaker 1: been done a couple of times. Last time was with
Speaker 1: Rerida Moreno and she wanna I think an oscar for it. Whatever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: they're redoing it Classic Broadway show, Classic Story. They cast
Speaker 1: seventeen year old girl from New Jersey. Her name is
Speaker 1: Rachel Zegler z E G l e R. She's at
Speaker 1: Rachel Zegler on Twitter. And I saw the story and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know what, she might listen to
Speaker 1: our show. Yeah, So I looked at the nine people
Speaker 1: she follows. Nobody on the show. I'm like, oh, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 1: She falls a lot of Broadway people, TV people, political people, whatever.
Speaker 1: But she's so talented I'm gonna reach out. I tweeted her,
Speaker 1: and I said, very proud of you. I think you
Speaker 1: sound great Clifton, New Jersey. If she was from Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: maybe we should have a perform here for the Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Boys pond. So I tweeted her and she wrote back,
Speaker 1: David Brody in all caps. I listen to you guys
Speaker 1: every morning on my way to school. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: But you know I don't follow you. She does now
Speaker 1: she follows me, okay, And I said, I said, send
Speaker 1: me an email if you're able to do interviews, because
Speaker 1: I don't know some of the publicists don't want you
Speaker 1: do anything. But if we can get her on to sing,
Speaker 1: how great would that be? I love that. A cappellat performances.
Speaker 1: You know, my previous podcast, we had performances here a
Speaker 1: couple of times. We had the brother the A j R. Brothers.
Speaker 1: Look at them now, yeah, look at that podcast. Now
Speaker 1: we're trying to say that that performance is tank us. No,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say, like you know,
Speaker 1: we have comics on, we still have a job. So no,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just saying I'm saying that maybe we
Speaker 1: we gotta have a good in studio performance. We gotta
Speaker 1: we gotta call our friends in the record labels. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't mind people performing here. Yeah, I mean, we'll take
Speaker 1: a little bit of coordination. Let's let's start with the
Speaker 1: best boys, and we'll work our way up or down
Speaker 1: or whatever we're we've got. We're a two man band here.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately we don't have producers. It's just us, it really is.
Speaker 1: Can we expand our staff? I'd love to hire somebody.
Speaker 1: You like to expand my staff? H h, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Let's move on. Um jokes, I got some unused jokes,
Speaker 1: and I also had some more things I wanted to
Speaker 1: complain about. I got a lot of things to complain about.
Speaker 1: My God, I wanted your opinion on something, and I
Speaker 1: just get yeah, So, uh, if you are if you
Speaker 1: play baseball, which scary does not really in the play,
Speaker 1: you have a glove? I do you have to because
Speaker 1: you're left handed, you have to bring you gotta have
Speaker 1: a glove if you're a lefty, because if you show
Speaker 1: up to a pickup game, you're like, oh, just borrow
Speaker 1: someone else's glove. If there's no lefty, you're screwed. So
Speaker 1: I have a glove that I got I think when
Speaker 1: I was twelve or thirteen, so it's been a while. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it fits my hand like a second skin, like
Speaker 1: a glove, like a glove, and the inside is a
Speaker 1: little shredded anyway, Probably those are the best gloves is
Speaker 1: when they're really warning and I have I've got two gloves.
Speaker 1: I've gotten two gloves since that I'm breaking in trying
Speaker 1: to get uncomfortable. But nothing beats that old glove that
Speaker 1: you've had forever. You're supposed to sit on it like
Speaker 1: for an hour a day. Yeah, okay, talk to your
Speaker 1: talk to your boy, will your trainer about that anyway. So, uh,
Speaker 1: the webbing had broken. That's the part where the ball
Speaker 1: hits and pocket the pocket, right above the pockets, the
Speaker 1: webbing between the thumb and the first finger. If it
Speaker 1: was your hand and it ripped, so the ball would
Speaker 1: just go through it. So you have to get it
Speaker 1: re strong. So I went online and I went on Facebook,
Speaker 1: and I said, hey, can anybody recommend a place that
Speaker 1: fixes gloves? And everybody said this one place, but the
Speaker 1: one place was like a half hour away from my house.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, it's my glove. I'm gonna get it
Speaker 1: fixed while we're on vacation and take care of it.
Speaker 1: So I try, I call up they say the guy
Speaker 1: says to me, Um, he says, uh, yeah, yeah, we
Speaker 1: fixed gloves. Yeah. I said, well, how long does it take?
Speaker 1: About a week? I said, you do it in the house,
Speaker 1: so you ship it out, because some places say they
Speaker 1: fix it, but then they like they mail it to somebody,
Speaker 1: or they have some guy in another city, or they
Speaker 1: don't really do it right, because no, we have a
Speaker 1: guy who does it in house. Great. How much is
Speaker 1: it usually for the glove? How much is it to
Speaker 1: fix the webbing? Just the webbing? He says, uh to
Speaker 1: thirty five, depending on the on the damage. Oh all right, well,
Speaker 1: I said it made a joke. I said, well twenty
Speaker 1: five would be better, of course, but all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. He's always looking for it. Made a joke.
Speaker 1: Anytime anybody ever says that to you, it's like it's
Speaker 1: gonna cost between of team than forty or a hundred
Speaker 1: to two hundred. You know you're not getting the lower wrung, right,
Speaker 1: You're always getting which is why I made the joke.
Speaker 1: Assume that you're always paying the higher amount. Of you
Speaker 1: mentioned trying to sugarcoat it. Right. It's like, but there's
Speaker 1: only one little spot on my shot, trying to take
Speaker 1: the pain out of it. Right. So I said, all right, alright,
Speaker 1: all right, even if it's thirty five, it's my glove, right,
Speaker 1: it's my it's my thing. I gotta have my glove fixed.
Speaker 1: So I drive the half hour, I get a spot.
Speaker 1: I go in and, uh, the guy. There's a guy
Speaker 1: there with his back to me. Right, he's buying the counter,
Speaker 1: and he's on the phone on the back counter, talking loudly,
Speaker 1: ignoring me. I'm standing there for six seven minutes. I
Speaker 1: looked at my phone. He's still look talking to the guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna order some jerseys. I'm gonna he's having doing it,
Speaker 1: putting a big sale together. Nobody's helping me, okay. So
Speaker 1: a woman comes out of the basement. She says, uh,
Speaker 1: you've been helped. No, not really. Guys on the phone,
Speaker 1: you know whatever. Uh, all right, what do you want
Speaker 1: to do? I called about having my glovery strung. Oh,
Speaker 1: let me get the guy in the basement. He'll come out.
Speaker 1: So the guy comes out. He says, what do you
Speaker 1: want to want to look at said, uh my glove,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a fixed. Oh yeah, let's go. Let
Speaker 1: me look at it, show me on the counter. So
Speaker 1: I bring the glove to the counter. He looks at it.
Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, we could do that, not a problem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't need the whole glove rey strong, just a
Speaker 1: little pocket area, just like I would say, totally, like
Speaker 1: I don't know around maybe like twelve inches in a circle,
Speaker 1: just that little bit, not the fingers, not all the
Speaker 1: hard stuff. Because yeah, yeah, I gotta get to you
Speaker 1: by next Friday. Uh be fifty bucks? Said wow, fifty bucks,
Speaker 1: I said, I called last week and they said twenty
Speaker 1: five to thirty five. I made a joke, and the
Speaker 1: guy who has been ignoring me the whole time says
Speaker 1: hold on, turns around and he says, yeah, that was me.
Speaker 1: I talked to you on the phone. So I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: you did talk to me. Yeah I told you, But
Speaker 1: I hadn't seen the glove yet. This is uh, it's
Speaker 1: more damage than I thought. That's just fifty dollars. How
Speaker 1: do you assess that? Isn't that more of an opinion?
Speaker 1: How much is really done to this? At that point,
Speaker 1: what would you have done me? Yeah, I would have
Speaker 1: turned around and walked out, okay, because you know what,
Speaker 1: they're leaving money on the table and they have they're
Speaker 1: gonna lose the sale, right, and I want to see
Speaker 1: if they're gonna pull me back into the store way
Speaker 1: we could talk about this, right. I would have absolutely
Speaker 1: walked out because I don't you know, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: non confrontational. I'm not going to try and get into
Speaker 1: an argument with these people. I would I would make
Speaker 1: a stand and rather than haggle and sit there and
Speaker 1: try and debate them or try and win a court
Speaker 1: case in a freaking store like that, I would be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, Yeah, I can't do business with people
Speaker 1: that that start, you know, changing price. So once you
Speaker 1: at least said how can that be talk? I saw okay,
Speaker 1: I would have in my head another place, their competitor
Speaker 1: in my head, and I would say, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take it down to Brown's. Yeah. But here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Wouldn't you at least say bah bah and
Speaker 1: say but you taught me on the phone. You wouldn't
Speaker 1: say no, no, no, no. I wouldn't even give him
Speaker 1: the time to day. You just go okay, thanks and
Speaker 1: walk out Okay, thanks. No no, I would say, okay, thanks,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna go bring it to so and so's.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let them know that I've already done my
Speaker 1: homework and I'm going to go to another place of competition.
Speaker 1: I think what I did. Here's what I hears what
Speaker 1: I did. I said. Now, wait a minute, you didn't
Speaker 1: say on the phone, thirty five could be more. It
Speaker 1: depends on the damage, you said, depending on the damage
Speaker 1: thirty five okay. Second of all, so you would think,
Speaker 1: so you're you were taking it like, well, thirty five
Speaker 1: is the ceiling, no matter how say. You didn't say
Speaker 1: is average, but it could be more? You never I said,
Speaker 1: you never said that. Second of all, how much damage
Speaker 1: would have been thirty five because you're only doing the webbing.
Speaker 1: So what were we talking about? When I said I
Speaker 1: needed my glove real strong, I said really strong. I
Speaker 1: didn't say fix a finger, I said glove re strong.
Speaker 1: Is that? Is that a definitive thing? When you have
Speaker 1: a glove restrong like a racket, you you know in
Speaker 1: your head already you got to string the whole thing
Speaker 1: what's required. And then He goes, we'll look inside. It's
Speaker 1: all ripped. That's that's that's really ripped up badly. I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not to do with this, I said, restring the glove, right,
Speaker 1: I said, you know, he was trying to take advantage
Speaker 1: of the situation because you were already there in person
Speaker 1: with the glove. So he was like he pretty much
Speaker 1: is like I got him right. I got him what
Speaker 1: I tell him right. And plus I was piste off
Speaker 1: because the guy ignored me until he heard confrontation. They
Speaker 1: turned around. I said, look, five thirty five should cover
Speaker 1: the whole glove. I'm gonna mind the guy I'm calling
Speaker 1: his blog come out. You're out, so I said, And
Speaker 1: if we're doing just the webbing, it should be twenty five.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna asking you to do the fingers. I just
Speaker 1: want the webbing. He goes, look, uh, you know that's
Speaker 1: you know, and we'll do it for thirty. So I said,
Speaker 1: all right, that's fine. Like I was like okay. So
Speaker 1: I was like, fine, I'll pay the thirty but I
Speaker 1: go because I tell my go hey, man, I just
Speaker 1: drove a half hour like you had me drive based
Speaker 1: on the conversation we had you gonna own a business.
Speaker 1: Like if that guy wasn't there and the kids like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what the guy on the phone said
Speaker 1: to you, man, I don't know. Then I would have
Speaker 1: walked out because then there's no one argue with. But
Speaker 1: the guy turned around and said, yeah, I said it,
Speaker 1: I go. Did did you say specifically or more? It's like,
Speaker 1: you know you didn't you said thirty five because I
Speaker 1: said I take and he didn't joke it. He could
Speaker 1: have said, well you know it also could bet didn't
Speaker 1: say it. Did say it could be fifty. So they
Speaker 1: did an okay job on the restring. I have to
Speaker 1: say they did a nice job on it, but it's
Speaker 1: that bad taste you get from their initial they're not
Speaker 1: good people. I don't know if they're good people. My
Speaker 1: point is they try to get you. They try and
Speaker 1: get you. You're in the store, you're there already. And
Speaker 1: the funny thing is the older guy hadn't even looked
Speaker 1: at the glove. He heard the guy the young guy
Speaker 1: tell me fifty. He turned around and went, well, that
Speaker 1: was before we saw the damage. Do you even looking
Speaker 1: at the glove? You're you're you're taking your experts word
Speaker 1: at it. What damage the string broke? You're gonna sew
Speaker 1: the string. It takes about an hour, thirty bucks for
Speaker 1: an hour. Let's go. Let's go. So you would have
Speaker 1: walked out. I liked that all you would have walked
Speaker 1: I don't deal with that ship. If they tell me
Speaker 1: one thing and then they do another in person, fuck you.
Speaker 1: My baseball glove was a swarin. We're like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing it. He thought it's a good glove. Alright,
Speaker 1: what else you want to do? I think we should do?
Speaker 1: Someone used jokes? All right? Oh news joke time. I
Speaker 1: got a lot of them, a lot nice. I had
Speaker 1: a few, but I don't have the setups. I got
Speaker 1: the jokes. Now do I want to call you out
Speaker 1: for something? I gonna call you off something and then
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta ran by Chinese food rand I
Speaker 1: want to get to that. All right, Okay, we were
Speaker 1: talking about Dunkleman. You know Dunkleman is Dunkleman was the
Speaker 1: co host of the first season of American Idol with
Speaker 1: Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Dunkleman or Brian Dunckleman was his name,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, I think he is doing something else
Speaker 1: these days. He's driving in uber now people making fun
Speaker 1: of him like, oh, American guys driving an uber. So
Speaker 1: I said, well, he used to discover stars. Now he's
Speaker 1: just hoping to get five stars. That's great. Why did
Speaker 1: als do that? By the way, jokes that are done
Speaker 1: on that are not done on the Big Show. But
Speaker 1: Brodie sent Elvis up for but and other people in
Speaker 1: the show, but we didn't do it. Okay. Uh. We
Speaker 1: were talking about someone on the show, Oh Sam got
Speaker 1: steaks for Christmas, and I said, getting steaks for Christmas
Speaker 1: when you're a vegetarian like she is, I said, I So,
Speaker 1: I joke for Elvis was the same thing happened to me.
Speaker 1: Someone gave me a woman because he's because yeah okay,
Speaker 1: um oh uh. Froggy said, Froggy are one of our coast,
Speaker 1: said Florida is cold and in the low fifties. And
Speaker 1: my joke was for Elvis to say, so am I
Speaker 1: and in the fifties? Um oh. Greg T said he
Speaker 1: keeps mementos from his ex is everybody's ever slept with.
Speaker 1: He kept something from all of his ex girlfriends. And
Speaker 1: I said, scary keeps things from his exes their freedom. Okay.
Speaker 1: We were talking about gay bars and possible names for
Speaker 1: a lesbian restaurant, and I said a hole in hands
Speaker 1: instead of hole of hands. Uh, smash for burgers instead
Speaker 1: of smashed burgers, and uh chick potle chick. Will we
Speaker 1: talk about Jeff Bezos on last week's episode that his
Speaker 1: wife is leaving him, Yeah, and that she gets half
Speaker 1: his money. Uh, that's why he did you have a joke? Well,
Speaker 1: I said that, you know, I have a joke. I
Speaker 1: said he pays her in one click. Okay, okay, so
Speaker 1: that once you moved to Jeff Azos joke, My Jeff
Speaker 1: Bezos joke was that was not used. I said he's
Speaker 1: got a new girlfriend. I hear he puts a smile
Speaker 1: on her box. Hio, because I don't think we did. Uh.
Speaker 1: Let's say we're talking about compression socks. There're socks you
Speaker 1: put on your feet that squeeze your leg and supposed
Speaker 1: to help with the circulation. Okay, So I wrote, what
Speaker 1: a great gift for teenage boys? Um oh, Uncle Johnny
Speaker 1: on our show many many years ago, had sex with
Speaker 1: Merv Griffin. MERV Griffin not only was a talk show host,
Speaker 1: but he invented Jeopardy and wheel of Fortune, and so
Speaker 1: I said, oh, you had sex with merv Griffin. Is
Speaker 1: there an a why would me? Which is which is
Speaker 1: an anus joke as well as a Elvis said he
Speaker 1: hates Hugh Grant. We're telling my Hugh Grant and he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: his career is over. I said, yep, he's over the
Speaker 1: notting Hill. Get nothing. And today Elvis was talking about
Speaker 1: how we got fired from the radio station in Tampa
Speaker 1: because he was telling a joke. Well, he was telling
Speaker 1: a story about a guy who put a pencil in
Speaker 1: his butt. So my joke was, that's an actual number
Speaker 1: two pencil. We didn't those the jokes we did not
Speaker 1: get to. Yeah, I have some. I have some, but
Speaker 1: I don't even know what the setups were because I
Speaker 1: don't even know what we're talking about. We're talking about
Speaker 1: people with their own brands of wine, like what we
Speaker 1: should also like, Elvis should start like his own brand
Speaker 1: of wine, like his own line of wine. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I said, Elvis, Elvis wines daily. Oh yeah, because he
Speaker 1: it was a joke about him being cranky. But I
Speaker 1: want to keep your job. What kind of what is that?
Speaker 1: Well I gave it to him to do. But whatever, right, Um,
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I wrote on this piece
Speaker 1: of paper you have a baby arm? What is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I just wrote you
Speaker 1: have a baby arm, and I was supposed to remind
Speaker 1: me of something. But it's not a it's not a joke,
Speaker 1: it's not a punch line, it's none of the above.
Speaker 1: It was just is this even my handwriting? I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: a baby arm is means that you have a huge penis,
Speaker 1: does it? Yeah? But I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: who has the baby arm? So is it talking about
Speaker 1: It's not even Actually, it's not even my handwriting. I
Speaker 1: thought it was me. It's not. It's chicken scratch though.
Speaker 1: You're trying to take credit for a joke that you
Speaker 1: didn't write. It's not even a joke. It's just it's
Speaker 1: just just words on a paper. They're just sitting in
Speaker 1: front of me. You have a baby arm? Is somebody? Okay? Well,
Speaker 1: speaking of taking credit for a joke, you did a
Speaker 1: joke yesterday. You gave Elvis a joke for the show
Speaker 1: for the show, but it was it was a used joke.
Speaker 1: He did it on the show, yes, but it was
Speaker 1: a used joke because I gave him the same joke
Speaker 1: like three weeks ago. We were talking about fomo again
Speaker 1: fear of missing out, and Elvis sometimes prefers not to
Speaker 1: go to things. He prefers to I'd rather just not
Speaker 1: go or my I booked too many things. He enjoys
Speaker 1: sometimes not going to things. So Scary writes down that
Speaker 1: he has he's happy about missing out, which is h
Speaker 1: O m O, which is homo. Yeah, I have a
Speaker 1: case of homo. I gave it to him. He did
Speaker 1: the joke on the air, right, did the joke on
Speaker 1: the Adit to him right again, Elvis, and then you
Speaker 1: talk the victory sip, and then I took a victory sip,
Speaker 1: and then the mics go off, and then Brody just
Speaker 1: like stares me down after we would go to commercial.
Speaker 1: This is all off the air, after the joke and
Speaker 1: after all that, I said, what what? And Brody says, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a really good joke. I wrote it like
Speaker 1: a month ago. You're like, we're talking about but I said, okay,
Speaker 1: but the thing is you claim you didn't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't know. I don't know. I thought of it on
Speaker 1: the spot in my own head. Anybody could see. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. That's a layup, that kind of a jail.
Speaker 1: You're you do think you're the only person on earth
Speaker 1: that has a sense of humor that could write jokes.
Speaker 1: Not at all, of course, not that, but not every
Speaker 1: other comedy writer stands in this studio and heard Elvis
Speaker 1: do the joke a month ago, but I didn't hear it,
Speaker 1: and I don't remember it. I don't remember it. I
Speaker 1: still don't rem okay, But if this is a court
Speaker 1: of laws, we were talking like when musicians rip off
Speaker 1: other musicians and play the same hook and they go,
Speaker 1: I never heard that guy. They go, you're still liabel.
Speaker 1: So Brodie makes a federal case about he stole my joke.
Speaker 1: Didn't tell anybody other than you want to write no,
Speaker 1: from the time, I just wanted you to acknowledge because
Speaker 1: you were like, you took a victory sip. You know
Speaker 1: what victory sip is. It's when you're so proud of yourself,
Speaker 1: and especially on this show, you you just might even
Speaker 1: realizing you can pick up a copper bottle and you
Speaker 1: just take a sip, Like, how that was good? That
Speaker 1: was me? I just did that. Yeah, well, you took
Speaker 1: a Victory sip and you're like, I wrote the homo joke.
Speaker 1: I did, well did you didn't write it there? I
Speaker 1: wrote the joke you can't come in here and go
Speaker 1: fourth scoring seven years ago, and then hey, Blanken wrote
Speaker 1: that in the moment we brought the topic back from
Speaker 1: several months ago when we originally talked about it was
Speaker 1: actually scary. I started writing it and figured he's not
Speaker 1: gonna do it again because he's made the joke and
Speaker 1: he slips forgot it's all new to him. You slipped
Speaker 1: it in like Will and the sauna, and you gave
Speaker 1: him a joke. It was unintentional, and you have to
Speaker 1: understand something. You're not the only person that has Again,
Speaker 1: I already answered that. I already answered that. I understand
Speaker 1: other people might write homo for fomo. Uh, but you're
Speaker 1: on this show. He did the joke and I wrote it,
Speaker 1: all right, So I just you know, don't steal my
Speaker 1: jokes or they or they'd acknowledge it and go. You
Speaker 1: know what, Broady, you did write that, but I don't
Speaker 1: remember you doing Okay, I'm not gonna I'm gonna throw
Speaker 1: it back to you. Do you think you're the only
Speaker 1: person with the comic sensibility to come up with that.
Speaker 1: You might have because not only rhyming fomo with homo,
Speaker 1: but you have to coup with letters that make sense.
Speaker 1: If this was the reverse and the tables returned, steal
Speaker 1: your joke? No, and if you did, I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: made a big deal about it. I would have just
Speaker 1: you be so proud of yourself that I stole one
Speaker 1: of your jokes. You would I would not please you
Speaker 1: know what, you know, I'd be like, sit there, all right,
Speaker 1: let him have his everything, let him have his moment. Really,
Speaker 1: I'll be happy for you, happy for me. No, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't care, be like, fuck him him, enjoy himself. At
Speaker 1: the time you're writing jokes for Elvis, I'm thinking of
Speaker 1: those same jokes, but I'm not putting them on paper.
Speaker 1: I'm doing I'm busy doing my job. So now you're
Speaker 1: saying that what I write, any any Joe Smoke could
Speaker 1: write the same. Just you, brilliant mind, scary smo, brilliant mind,
Speaker 1: think alike. Now you're a brilliant mind. Yeah right, okay,
Speaker 1: I think it takes I think it takes a brilliant
Speaker 1: minds to do this podcast. One of us I feel
Speaker 1: out of sorts today though, I feel like we're not
Speaker 1: giving them a home run podcast today. Why is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel I don't feel like myself,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I'm not sick or anything,
Speaker 1: and you still get late in the day. It's terrible. Well,
Speaker 1: we're recording this later in the afternoon, and I don't
Speaker 1: like it. I like to record when we get off
Speaker 1: the radio. So I'm good to go. Hit the ground running, baby,
Speaker 1: ten am sharp, let's go. Let's record the podcast. But
Speaker 1: you went into meetings and all kinds of ship. We
Speaker 1: all had ship to do, ah, except you did it
Speaker 1: all right, and I had to do my Walkers and
Speaker 1: Talkers podcast, which, by the way, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: she should never take precedent over this podcast. Whoa, whoa, Whoa,
Speaker 1: I'm up, episode one thirty three on Walkers and Talkers,
Speaker 1: and people have been listening to that thing for two
Speaker 1: and a half years. And no offense to Jamie. She's
Speaker 1: a brilliant host. I love her. But this podcast has
Speaker 1: four times the listeners at them when that when does
Speaker 1: that's not true? Maybe twice two times? There are more
Speaker 1: listeners to the Brooklyn Boys it's more of a mainstream thing,
Speaker 1: whereas walkers and Talkers is a niche past like niche se,
Speaker 1: I say, niche. Okay, it's nietzsch Let's go. Let's go
Speaker 1: with the wh the crowd is come to this podcast. First,
Speaker 1: is that on another day, more people is better. Let's
Speaker 1: record that on another day. Normally I do, but we
Speaker 1: had things this week where I couldn't do it. We're
Speaker 1: all busy, everybody's everybody's busy, all right, all right, so
Speaker 1: let's get back to uh, delivering a good podcast. I
Speaker 1: want to tell you about what happened to me on eBay?
Speaker 1: Who things happened to me on First The first thing
Speaker 1: you need to do deliver good podcast is talking to
Speaker 1: the microphone. Well, I'm looking through my phone, douche bag.
Speaker 1: I'm not back there like that. I was right over
Speaker 1: here for a second. Past. Is that how you deliver?
Speaker 1: Called Peter Luger is Peter Luker interlude? Hold on, hold
Speaker 1: on before you call Peter Luger. Check this out. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's one of those who tell you about it. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're back, We're back, all right. I love how you
Speaker 1: use the is Peter Luker's gonna answer the phone moment
Speaker 1: as a as a cliffhanger. Yeah, all right, so let's
Speaker 1: see um tyling tling tling by the way to digital dial.
Speaker 1: I am actually dialing numbers, but you're not going to
Speaker 1: hear them. Go pop up? Okay, then hit the dial button.
Speaker 1: And how could it be busy all the time? Peter
Speaker 1: Lugas and Brooklyn? Can we make an emergency breakthrough? You
Speaker 1: think that'll work? You have the operator car because I
Speaker 1: don't think they're on the phone. I think they take
Speaker 1: the phone off the doll. Let's make an emergency breakthrough
Speaker 1: with the operator that. Can we do that? You're gonna say,
Speaker 1: I need emergency, gotta have a stick. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: tell me the numbers. I gotta call my uncle Peter.
Speaker 1: Tell am I gonna make emergency break to from Uncle Peter.
Speaker 1: I'm worried, Uncael Peter. Uncle Peter is over a hundred
Speaker 1: years old. Calling operated. We call an operator on this board.
Speaker 1: You can't nine to get out. Hit the opera nine zero,
Speaker 1: your call cannot be completed. Dials can check the number.
Speaker 1: And let me tell you about two things happening on eBay.
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of selling stuff on eBay not
Speaker 1: a sponsor. So I have this, um the sports bubble
Speaker 1: head thing. I have bubble head up on eBay right,
Speaker 1: and uh, it was up for like bobble the babble
Speaker 1: bobble bobble. Should we edit that out? I think we should.
Speaker 1: Don't know what that was. You have a you have
Speaker 1: a seizure. It's big s and Nicki Minaj. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: that's not what that was. That was never mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so street. Okay. So this I get a bid
Speaker 1: on something on this bobble head that I haven't It's
Speaker 1: been posted like eight times. It's been months, it's been
Speaker 1: up maybe two months. I'm like, I got a bit.
Speaker 1: This is great, somebody wants it. I'm selling it. I'm
Speaker 1: moving the junk out this him New me IF twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: I get an email from the guy and he says, ah,
Speaker 1: I placed a bid by mistake. Can you can you
Speaker 1: retract my bid? Okay? So I see it. I'm in
Speaker 1: the car, I'm not driving, but I'm in the car
Speaker 1: on the I get an alert that I had a bid,
Speaker 1: and I get alert he's emailing. So I wrote him
Speaker 1: back and I said, hey man, I've voice texted hey man,
Speaker 1: First of all, you placed the bid, you gotta retract it.
Speaker 1: I'm not going into the eBay help section and canceling
Speaker 1: your bid. You made the mistake. You got three days
Speaker 1: cancel the bid. Thanks, okay? Nothing, next day, nothing, nothing.
Speaker 1: I email him and I go, hey, his name is Bill.
Speaker 1: I go, hey, Bill, you gotta cancel that bid because
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. And second of all, when you
Speaker 1: say retract my bid, retract means take it back. I
Speaker 1: didn't put it there. You gotta retract it. So by
Speaker 1: definition of retract the bid, that's you, pal, you made
Speaker 1: the mistake. You go into the system and to the
Speaker 1: item number, retract the bid. I really don't have time.
Speaker 1: Hectic week for me. Thank you, though. Two days go by,
Speaker 1: the third day, one day left. Email him again, a bill,
Speaker 1: you know, one day left to you're owning it? Like,
Speaker 1: all right, whatever, let him, let him own it. I
Speaker 1: don't care. So it ends and he's the winning bid, right,
Speaker 1: so I got so I send him an email, Hey, Bill,
Speaker 1: you're now own the bubble head. Congratulations. Please make payment
Speaker 1: within two days. You never canceled the bid, never retracted
Speaker 1: your bid. I'm thinking I'm being a prick here, right
Speaker 1: because now if he doesn't pay, now I have to
Speaker 1: go through eBay and I have to cancel his bid
Speaker 1: and go the whole thing, right, Okay, He writes me back,
Speaker 1: and he says, hey, so sorry. It turns out I
Speaker 1: wanted after all, I'm keeping it so by me not
Speaker 1: canceling his bid, I got a sale. So it pays
Speaker 1: to be a dick. I think that was your no.
Speaker 1: Admittedly I was at dick about it, and I got
Speaker 1: to sail out of the deal even though you were
Speaker 1: a penis. Yes, I got fifteen bucks for this thing
Speaker 1: that I've been laying in my house for ten years
Speaker 1: I couldn't get rid of. Now here's the problem. Normally,
Speaker 1: when I chip on eBay. If you've used eBay, I
Speaker 1: go on my laptop. I go to the eBay dot com,
Speaker 1: not the bay. I go to eBay dot com and
Speaker 1: I'll upload the pictures, type in the description, YadA, YadA YadA.
Speaker 1: It takes about six or seven minutes and I upload
Speaker 1: the item. And I really haven't been using an app
Speaker 1: to do that, and said, you know what I have to.
Speaker 1: I was listening a lot of stuff over the holidays,
Speaker 1: over the two week vacation, so I'm like, let me
Speaker 1: try the phone. Because I have the phone, I'll go
Speaker 1: into my office, I'll take pictures, upload it right the description,
Speaker 1: boom boom, boom all there. Otherwise I'm running back down
Speaker 1: to my laptop. Let me see if I can do that.
Speaker 1: So there's an option when you sell an eBay you can.
Speaker 1: You can put up a price, an auction price, and
Speaker 1: the people bid and it goes up higher. You can
Speaker 1: use a buy it now where you go, well, I want,
Speaker 1: I'll start it at nine nine cents. But if you
Speaker 1: want to buy it, you don't want to lose out
Speaker 1: on this, You can have attemp bucks or they have
Speaker 1: a thing called best offer, Like it's a hundred, but
Speaker 1: if I don't get the hundred, I'll take the best offer.
Speaker 1: You offer me seventy. If no one else offers me
Speaker 1: a hundred, I'll take the seventh. Sure some stuff, I
Speaker 1: don't want best offer. I just want to post it.
Speaker 1: I'm asking seventy dollars. I want seventy dollars. That's it.
Speaker 1: And the fucking story. So I notice everything I'm using
Speaker 1: the app for when it goes up, I'm getting best offers.
Speaker 1: I go. I didn't check the best offer box and
Speaker 1: they're all best offer. I go, huh, it must be
Speaker 1: an opt out. I didn't notice it, so I un
Speaker 1: check everything, I undo it. They're all regular, no best offer.
Speaker 1: And now I'm I'm listening more stuff and I'm seeing
Speaker 1: best offer and I'm on checking it. I'm deliberately on
Speaker 1: checking best offer, and I post it and I'm getting
Speaker 1: best offers. What the fuck? I look again in my
Speaker 1: on my my eBay page and they all have best offers.
Speaker 1: So I the things I posted with my laptop up
Speaker 1: not so much. So I go, must be a glitch.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call eBay. So I called eBay and I
Speaker 1: say to the guy. I get the guy on the phone,
Speaker 1: and the guy tells me, by the way, it sounds
Speaker 1: like you're about to go on a labyrinth of customer
Speaker 1: service because eBay is so big, You're not gonna get
Speaker 1: the same answer twice and and everyone I will be
Speaker 1: bouncing you around to different people. So I call eBay
Speaker 1: and they have a new thing. Now you can talk
Speaker 1: to them. So I get quote Carlos, unquote Carlos. I
Speaker 1: assure you this man was not from a Latin American
Speaker 1: country of any kind. His name is not Carlos. Whatever
Speaker 1: was it Carlos like that? Nope, it sounded more like
Speaker 1: the Philippines. Not that they can't be someone name called
Speaker 1: if you have an uncle named Carlos and the Philippines
Speaker 1: don't tweet me. Okay, he didn't sound a Carlos. That's
Speaker 1: I'm just making an observation, all right. So I tell
Speaker 1: him the whole thing, and he says, I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't I don't understand. You don't know
Speaker 1: the up is deliberately putting in best offer when I'm
Speaker 1: on checking best offer. What do I do? So? Carlos
Speaker 1: tells me, oh, I hold on a put spin hold.
Speaker 1: He comes back. He goes, I have an idea. Okay, fantastic.
Speaker 1: What's the idea? He says? May I suggest you no
Speaker 1: longer use the app and use the desktop? What? I'm sorry?
Speaker 1: What he says? I suggest you use the desktop because
Speaker 1: if you don't like the app, don't use the app.
Speaker 1: I go, that's not the I said, so I said,
Speaker 1: if I called him about my car not working, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want you to tell me to use the bus.
Speaker 1: I want you to fix the app. But what's wrong
Speaker 1: with the app? He says, oh, of course not. When
Speaker 1: I asked him about the bus, I said, Carlos, if
Speaker 1: I called you about my car and it was broken,
Speaker 1: would you tell me to use the bus? Dead silence, nothing.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting, He goes, of course, not like he wasn't sure.
Speaker 1: I said, Carlos, let me speak to a supervisor. Let
Speaker 1: me speak to someone who understands the best offer option
Speaker 1: on eBay, somebody other than you. Hold on, I get
Speaker 1: quote Mary, not her real name. First of all, I
Speaker 1: say to heart, mary's not your name? Huh what? Nothing? Okay?
Speaker 1: So why do you have to be a smartass? I
Speaker 1: mean that's because Carlos got me mad. So then so
Speaker 1: I tell Mary the story and she says, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: it's part of eBay's new marketing campaign. We really want
Speaker 1: people to use the best offer option and increases sales.
Speaker 1: And I said, she said, if they see the starting
Speaker 1: prices too high and you're listing is high, we suggest
Speaker 1: the best offer. They suggest the best offer, but it's
Speaker 1: your stuff. Shouldn't you be in charge of how you
Speaker 1: sell it? Exactly? And get this, they have another thing
Speaker 1: on the app. If I want to list something for
Speaker 1: and they think I should list it for eleven when
Speaker 1: you put in, it automatically changes to eleven. Do I
Speaker 1: hear it? Fuck you eBay coming? Oh yeah, So now
Speaker 1: there's two problems with eBay. One, you're trying to get
Speaker 1: me to take the best offer, and to they're now
Speaker 1: telling you how much to charge. They don't say you
Speaker 1: might want to charge eleven. They change your listing price
Speaker 1: to eleven, and you're gonna have to go back and
Speaker 1: manually make it thirteen again. So they go, we found
Speaker 1: that it increases sales. I said, that's terrible and I'm
Speaker 1: never using the app again. Carlos was right, and she says, why,
Speaker 1: who's Carlos the guy who goes transer me to you?
Speaker 1: What did Carlos say as it? Carlos says that if
Speaker 1: I don't like the functionality the app, I shouldn't use ite.
Speaker 1: So she says, well, that sounds like sound advice. Are
Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me? Your eBay, Your app is e Bay.
Speaker 1: Your job is to get me to use the app,
Speaker 1: and your sales people say, if you don't like it,
Speaker 1: don't use that app. That's their advice. We realize our
Speaker 1: policies may suck, so rather than fix them, well, I
Speaker 1: have a work around or a setting. I could have that,
Speaker 1: but don't do that. You know that, don't use the app?
Speaker 1: I go, are you going to change the policy on
Speaker 1: the desktop? We might? You might. Why is the policy
Speaker 1: on the phone but not on the desktop? We don't know.
Speaker 1: So you're fucking people on the phone taking away their
Speaker 1: freedom and liberty as Americans. I said that in my head,
Speaker 1: by the way, and said it to them. You're taking
Speaker 1: away of my right to choose the price and the options. Yes,
Speaker 1: that sucks. Well they use the desktop. That's their answer.
Speaker 1: Guess what. See That's where I would have stopped right there.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what if if the app
Speaker 1: has other functionality to it, I'm going to use the desktop.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go on the computer. Thank you Carlos, goodbye.
Speaker 1: But you want to have that second follow up with
Speaker 1: Mary to be only to be rerouted and to be
Speaker 1: told what they're trying to do their scheme, and they're
Speaker 1: absolutely fucking on the take, and and and there was
Speaker 1: there was end result is you still going to the
Speaker 1: way up site? Now I have to go to the desktop,
Speaker 1: go to the desktop. So what to go to the desktop?
Speaker 1: So fuck you Carlos and fuck you Mary eBay and
Speaker 1: fuck you eBay app. I still love eBay. Your app
Speaker 1: can kiss my music quick one. My girlfriend got promoted
Speaker 1: the other day. Well, I thought you gonna say pregnant promoded. Okay,
Speaker 1: because proregnant could happen. Okay, it could happen. She works
Speaker 1: in an office building in the middle Did it happened?
Speaker 1: Is there a chance she get so worked you're gonna
Speaker 1: say something. She works in an office building in the
Speaker 1: middle of Manhattan getting snip stop it? Okay you snip? No,
Speaker 1: not stop. So I she she's celebrating the whole thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, call the Flourish, a local flourist, and
Speaker 1: I say, hey, it's eleven o'clock in the morning. Could
Speaker 1: you get some flowers up to her by lunchtime, like
Speaker 1: you know, in the next couple of hours. No problem,
Speaker 1: we'll do that, Mr Scary. So the Flourish shows up
Speaker 1: now again. When you work in a big New York
Speaker 1: City building, you got security guards and lobbies and multi
Speaker 1: floors and stuff like that. She works on the whatever
Speaker 1: floor like floor. They have a messaging center, Brodie, What
Speaker 1: does the messaging center do his messages? Or the message
Speaker 1: center when you check in with the message center. Would
Speaker 1: you give your messages? Right? But what else do they do?
Speaker 1: Don't do you think that they might? You know, they's
Speaker 1: a front desk. So two hours goes by and I
Speaker 1: get a phone call from the florist. Hey, Mr Scary,
Speaker 1: there's a problem. We try calling your girlfriend. She's not
Speaker 1: answering her phone the floor. The delivery guy is downstairs
Speaker 1: in the lobby with the flowers. And I said great.
Speaker 1: I said, she's leading an important meeting right now with
Speaker 1: her team. I said, you guys have hundreds of companies
Speaker 1: in the building who all have that situation, the same situation.
Speaker 1: I said, they have a reception area. Go to the
Speaker 1: message center and drop the flowers of the message center.
Speaker 1: I'll text her and then when she gets of her meeting,
Speaker 1: she'll come down to the message center pick up the flowers.
Speaker 1: All right, So he goes, no problem. Ten minutes later,
Speaker 1: I got another call from the florist. Hey, Mr Skary, Uh,
Speaker 1: this bouquet of flowers. Uh is still without delivery guy.
Speaker 1: He's at the messaging center and he's sitting there saying
Speaker 1: that there's a problem. Your girlfriend needs to come down
Speaker 1: to get the flowers. And he's got to go to
Speaker 1: this next delivery. She's in a meeting. I said, she's
Speaker 1: in a meeting. I said, no, leave him with the
Speaker 1: message center, right, Okay, I'm texting. I'm calling my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She's not answering her phone. Guess what, she's in a meeting.
Speaker 1: Of course she is, because she Otherwise she would have answered.
Speaker 1: She would have answered the multitude of text and phone
Speaker 1: calls from the florist and me. So I called the
Speaker 1: front I called three numbers to get to the front security,
Speaker 1: and I said, hey, guys, I'm like, I need to
Speaker 1: talk to the people the mestic center because there's a
Speaker 1: florist there, there's a there's a delivery guy would FLOWERSH
Speaker 1: just got promoted, alright, transfer over. They transfer me to
Speaker 1: the message center. I'm like, hey, this is Mr. Scary
Speaker 1: calling accept my girlfriend flowers and apparently delivery guys there
Speaker 1: with the flowers, and she can't come down right now
Speaker 1: because she's leading a meeting. This is the message center. Yes,
Speaker 1: the message center, this is us. Great, awesome. Let the
Speaker 1: guy leave the flowers and she'll be down and probably
Speaker 1: about in the next twenty minutes to a half hour
Speaker 1: maybe less, to pick up her flowers. You don't have
Speaker 1: to water him, have to trim him, you have to
Speaker 1: prune him, just take him. Yeah, Oh, I'm sorry. We
Speaker 1: don't accept deliveries here at the message center. I'm sorry, motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: What's your name is the goddamn message center? You've got
Speaker 1: one job give messages and received messages and deliveries. You
Speaker 1: don't accept packages and boxes? We do, okay, but we
Speaker 1: don't accept flowers. Why why don't you accept flowers? Because
Speaker 1: we don't want to be responsible because they're delicate. They're
Speaker 1: more delicate. They're out in the open, they're not in
Speaker 1: a box. Fucking you're the goddamn messaging center, right, Oh,
Speaker 1: my huge fucking building with multi billion dollar companies that
Speaker 1: are your tenants. Take the fucking flowers of my golf.
Speaker 1: I don't be fucking down when she's throwing her fucking man. Well,
Speaker 1: doesn't she have cheam members that could come down? And like,
Speaker 1: doesn't she have interns? No? During the motherfucker I wanted
Speaker 1: to all I can think about is what would PROTI say?
Speaker 1: What would say? What would But you know what, I
Speaker 1: took the opposite harsh ending on that song. I took
Speaker 1: the opposite and now I shut it because I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not gonna lose my cool. You're
Speaker 1: gonna walk away. It's gonna walk away. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: the flowers to another building. In my head, that's what
Speaker 1: I was doing. I was screaming and yelling. But but
Speaker 1: what Scary Jones did do? Say? Look, I know, I
Speaker 1: know you normally don't take deliveries for whatever reason. I'm
Speaker 1: not questioning why you don't take deliveries in your the
Speaker 1: message center. I'm just saying this, Uh, the guy the
Speaker 1: florist has to go to his next delivery and my
Speaker 1: girlfriend and there's no one to take. You know, she
Speaker 1: will be down in ten or fifteen minutes. I promise you.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna sit there all day. Okay, So so
Speaker 1: we're gonna make an exception here. Okay, So so it's
Speaker 1: not because apparently they have no space back there. There's
Speaker 1: a very small area they're working with. Not my problem,
Speaker 1: not your problem, but they're like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: and I and I brought him up. I said, Look,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend got a huge promotion, I said, and I
Speaker 1: really really want to make this stay special for her,
Speaker 1: and I would appreciate it if you could just find
Speaker 1: it in your heart to accept these flowers and let
Speaker 1: this delivery guy go on his merry way. Okay, he's
Speaker 1: standing there the whole time. Yeah, yes, he's stay the
Speaker 1: guy who's standing in for a half hour, going back
Speaker 1: and forth between lobby security and the messaging center and all.
Speaker 1: And he the guy goes, Okay, you know what, we'll
Speaker 1: make this exception. Please tell her to come down when
Speaker 1: you can. And and the delivery guy went on his way,
Speaker 1: and she got a flowers. Fifteen minutes later, I got
Speaker 1: an iPhone call. But you know what, Brodie, I killed
Speaker 1: him with kindness and I and I and I struck
Speaker 1: at the heart string. I. I got emotional about it.
Speaker 1: I made him think about what he would do on
Speaker 1: the guy on the phone if he was trying to
Speaker 1: deliver the flowers to his wife and they couldn't get there.
Speaker 1: Isn't it crazy? But it works? It was a happy ending.
Speaker 1: It was a rant in my head, but I kept
Speaker 1: my cool when I spoke to them, all right, I like,
Speaker 1: do I use the rant music twice? Well? Because I
Speaker 1: was just nervous. I was getting crazy. I was I
Speaker 1: don't do rants very much, but no I could. I
Speaker 1: would be upset like there's no rules and no sign
Speaker 1: there's no policy, but he doesn't want to be responsible, right,
Speaker 1: But seriously, you're a fucking messaging center. Your jobs to
Speaker 1: take the ship. That's it. It's messages you're getting received
Speaker 1: in box, outbox. A couple of things before we wrap
Speaker 1: this up. I had a couple of audio clips for
Speaker 1: next week that we're gonna play. I'm mad at Bank
Speaker 1: of America, I'm mad at grub called popular. Next week,
Speaker 1: I promise you episode seventy, ull do the Chinese food
Speaker 1: rant because I dealt with a couple of idiots. There's
Speaker 1: there's a rule about take out that these people clearly
Speaker 1: don't know. So even though it was Christmas Chinese food,
Speaker 1: it's like episode seventy, like it's already fuckers, you know what.
Speaker 1: Don't just call it any Peter Luker, call it Peter
Speaker 1: Lucas in Brooklyn Boys Boys Brockle