1
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:27,320
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, we're brown, ambish, ambitions,

2
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,040
Speaker 1: ambition and ambition.

3
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,880
Speaker 2: Why are we magic today? And we're wearing blue? Were

4
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:33,760
Speaker 2: never wear blue?

5
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,080
Speaker 1: Yeah?

6
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,160
Speaker 2: And we're all blue?

7
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:40,479
Speaker 3: Yeah. You know, hey, beauty, helly, you always give me

8
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,200
Speaker 3: something new to giggle about it. And I was giggling

9
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,559
Speaker 3: because like, clearly you had your nails done, because there

10
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:51,400
Speaker 3: was a lot of fingerography, hand agraphy. They look great.

11
00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,639
Speaker 2: They look at you right, not me becoming a whole

12
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 2: lady at forty five. I'm like, it's late.

13
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, you know, I'm just starting to

14
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,480
Speaker 1: get my last done, my nails done. I'm like, is

15
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,000
Speaker 1: this what that girl's based ufering through? I mean, I

16
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,160
Speaker 1: don't mind getting my nails done, but I'm like, it's a.

17
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:05,640
Speaker 2: Lot of up.

18
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 3: Oh, I mind it something much time.

19
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,520
Speaker 2: Someone someone's gonna fall. Here's the thing. I actually like

20
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,000
Speaker 2: the feet because you know, you just sit there, you know,

21
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:12,679
Speaker 2: scrolling your phone.

22
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,440
Speaker 3: You can do things.

23
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,240
Speaker 2: Yes, Hm, on nails, you'd be like, oh my god,

24
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:17,319
Speaker 2: give you my handbag.

25
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:25,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you look gorge gosh. I hmm, how are

26
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 3: listen where? I just went to therapy yesterday and I

27
00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,280
Speaker 3: have the good news is that I always have so

28
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 3: much material to work with, and there's some things that

29
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,520
Speaker 3: I could just leave in the back of the closet,

30
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,120
Speaker 3: you know, that are just kind of like that's something

31
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,120
Speaker 3: that we need to work, that we need to talk about,

32
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,160
Speaker 3: but we're just I'm just gonna like, look at this

33
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,600
Speaker 3: shiny drama over here. You leaving Brown Ambition is like

34
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,840
Speaker 3: one of those things. And now it's like I have

35
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,840
Speaker 3: been looking forward to this episode, these episodes and be

36
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 3: a fan. This is a series that we're gonna be

37
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,400
Speaker 3: doing because I'm not letting Tiffany go, as uncomfortable as

38
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,600
Speaker 3: maybe it makes her feel. I don't know. I ain't

39
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 3: let you go without a show. I'm not letting you

40
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 3: go without an acknowledgment of the legacy that you are

41
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,400
Speaker 3: leaving us with. And so I guess I know how

42
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 3: I'm feeling, which is like I pingbong between emotions all

43
00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:26,679
Speaker 3: the time. But are you ready to be to look

44
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,679
Speaker 3: at what's next together and like really talk about the

45
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,400
Speaker 3: end and like face it with me?

46
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:33,519
Speaker 1: Yeah?

47
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 2: I mean someone actually asked me to like how's it going.

48
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:42,840
Speaker 1: And for the most part, I'm someone who when big

49
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,200
Speaker 1: things happen, I'm pretty chill, but.

50
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,799
Speaker 2: Then I get bursts of And I had that the

51
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 2: other day. I don't know what happened.

52
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,640
Speaker 1: I don't know if I saw one of our clips

53
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 1: and it was like hilarious or something like that, and

54
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:59,399
Speaker 1: it hit me like wait, you know, like my brain

55
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 1: doesn't hold things like consistent. It'll just they come in

56
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,799
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, like you know what I mean. I

57
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,639
Speaker 1: don't not explain it where I'm It's almost like this

58
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,720
Speaker 1: is how I manage. This is how I cope because

59
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,600
Speaker 1: there's a lot of big things that are like happening

60
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,560
Speaker 1: in general, right, and so if I hold them all

61
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 1: like heavily, it can be very overwhelming emotionally.

62
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,120
Speaker 2: So I've learned to be like a little bit, yeah,

63
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:22,440
Speaker 2: a little bit.

64
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,880
Speaker 1: They're not disassociating necessarily sometimes that but not necessarily, but

65
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,680
Speaker 1: like you know, like hold it lightly. But the other day,

66
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,359
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was a clip or something,

67
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 1: and it hit me like a ton of bricks, like,

68
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,720
Speaker 1: oh my god, I got a little weep be like

69
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,440
Speaker 1: I think maybe it was like clip of us at

70
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,200
Speaker 1: the at the live show, and I was watching it

71
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 1: and I was laughing, Oh my god, and I was

72
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 1: like wait, So it hit me like a ton of bricks.

73
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:50,280
Speaker 2: So I'm okay. I just I'm sad about it, you know.

74
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 2: But also.

75
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,839
Speaker 1: I don't know it's it's a weird thing because yes,

76
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,840
Speaker 1: I'm leaving Brian and Mishap, but I'm leaving Mandy. And

77
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,280
Speaker 1: I think that's the part that like doesn't feel as

78
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,880
Speaker 1: weird because I think sometimes when you leave a thing,

79
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,520
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, I'm leaving all my work friends, and

80
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,080
Speaker 1: it's like, yes, but that's actually not what's happening here.

81
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,920
Speaker 2: So there's this weird it's the same but not the same,

82
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:13,200
Speaker 2: you know.

83
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be a more normal friendship, I guess, not

84
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,719
Speaker 3: every friendship. It's like I'll see you on the internet,

85
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,240
Speaker 3: but thousands of people watching on Monday. Cool every Monday.

86
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:32,000
Speaker 3: Well ah yeah, ye. How am I feeling today? I'm

87
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 3: feeling good. I woke up and it's not the thing

88
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,119
Speaker 3: is you know, I could talk about how I'm feeling,

89
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,280
Speaker 3: but it's never just one thing that's contributing to like

90
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 3: the swirl. I actually wrote about it to my in

91
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,800
Speaker 3: a newsletter yesterday, and I was trying to describe the

92
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,839
Speaker 3: emotional like sort of not even a roller coaster, because

93
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,880
Speaker 3: that's sort of like one dip and then you're I'm

94
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,080
Speaker 3: just it's like I said, it's ever since I found

95
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,919
Speaker 3: out you were leaving, it just has felt like every

96
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,039
Speaker 3: emotion from inside out too, because they introduce some new

97
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,920
Speaker 3: fun ones like anxiety. Yes, it's like being put in

98
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,480
Speaker 3: a blender, and it's just like every like pulse, you know,

99
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,520
Speaker 3: not consistent, just like pulse pulse. So I get these

100
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 3: like it really changes from time to time. But what

101
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:22,960
Speaker 3: I keep centering myself on is the goal. The point

102
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,480
Speaker 3: of everything is to go through this transition and still

103
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 3: feel like me and tiff are exactly as strong as

104
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 3: we've gotten. I feel like we've worked for our friendship

105
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,120
Speaker 3: and our business partnership. I think we've worked for it,

106
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,880
Speaker 3: and I just want to like protect that. Okay, well,

107
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,400
Speaker 3: I don't want to spend too much time on the

108
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,200
Speaker 3: future right now, because who even knows what kind of

109
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,240
Speaker 3: world we're going to be in. It's not just Tiffany leaving,

110
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,520
Speaker 3: it's like where is our democracy going to be? But

111
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,480
Speaker 3: I want to look back, and I think we have

112
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,760
Speaker 3: talked ad nauseum about the origin of brown Envision.

113
00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 2: You know that.

114
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,760
Speaker 3: And if you guys don't know the origin story, you

115
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,800
Speaker 3: know the cliff notes, cliff notes, spark notes, whatever version.

116
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,000
Speaker 3: As Tiffany and I met in person for the first

117
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,120
Speaker 3: time at finn Con, I was actually writing about this

118
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,880
Speaker 3: from my book. Tiffany and I went back and I like,

119
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,800
Speaker 3: I was looking at pictures, I was reading email chains,

120
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,760
Speaker 3: I was trying to find the blog post, and I

121
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,520
Speaker 3: was trying to find the article on Business Insider that

122
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 3: I originally wrote, which is when I was first I

123
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,360
Speaker 3: discovered you, like to myself, but I didn't meet you

124
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,040
Speaker 3: in person until until finn Con. But anyway, it wasn't

125
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,440
Speaker 3: that finn Con that brand ambition was born, but our

126
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,880
Speaker 3: friendship was born. Ore like, I don't know, you just

127
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,800
Speaker 3: meet people, And this most recent FINCN just reminded me

128
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,160
Speaker 3: how you don't have that click with but just everybody.

129
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:51,200
Speaker 3: You really don't. It's magical and special and I definitely

130
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 3: don't take it for granted. But we had that spark,

131
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,800
Speaker 3: that kindred spirit, kind of connection. And the next year

132
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,240
Speaker 3: is when I started to scheme in Charlotte and Charlotte

133
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,119
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty five, we were I saw this video

134
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,120
Speaker 3: of us on the Finance bar bus on Marsha's bus

135
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,679
Speaker 3: getting a tour I got to show you this clip

136
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,600
Speaker 3: of you and I think it was you, Tanya and Marsha,

137
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,800
Speaker 3: and you were just like so silly. You're you're making

138
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 3: up some song, like hamming it up for the camera.

139
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,840
Speaker 3: But you weren't at the time, like the you know,

140
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 3: the New York Times bestselling author like Budgetista was still

141
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,720
Speaker 3: in its couple of years infancy. Like if you can

142
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,240
Speaker 3: look back, what I'm curious about is back at that time,

143
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:42,400
Speaker 3: as a business owner and just exploring your own business

144
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,160
Speaker 3: or building your business at the time, why did you

145
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 3: say yes to Brown Ambition? Do you remember?

146
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? You no, for real, like honestly, because what I

147
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 2: didn't even know what a podcast was.

148
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, not even a little bit.

149
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 2: No, not really. I mean I think i'd heard of it.

150
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,720
Speaker 1: I was like, honestly, it wasn't That wasn't the draw

151
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 1: because like nobody knew podcasting is going to do what

152
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:05,720
Speaker 1: it's doing now.

153
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,080
Speaker 2: It wasn't the draw.

154
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,440
Speaker 1: It was like, oh, I like her, she's fine, went

155
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 1: to okay. It's almost like you say you want to

156
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 1: come up to my house and hang out.

157
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:12,880
Speaker 2: It's like mm hmm.

158
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,240
Speaker 1: Literally, like that was the only qualifier. I was like,

159
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 1: not really sure what this podcasting is a man, it

160
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 1: seems really nice and cool.

161
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,280
Speaker 3: I like her and sure.

162
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,840
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, it was like, what a big and little.

163
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're crazy.

164
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 2: I can't believe literally had no research.

165
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 3: I was like, sure, no business strategy.

166
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 1: No, not literally, not at all, because I just honestly said,

167
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,400
Speaker 1: what I heard was this person that I think is

168
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,160
Speaker 1: really great and fun and cool and nice. She's like,

169
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,040
Speaker 1: do you want to do a project together? And I

170
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,599
Speaker 1: said okay. I said okay to you, not necessarily to

171
00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,320
Speaker 1: the project, because we didn't have a name. We didn't

172
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,040
Speaker 1: I didn't know really what podcasting was. It was just

173
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,319
Speaker 1: you asked me to do a project, and I liked you,

174
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,199
Speaker 1: so I said okay. And that's literally and it's funny

175
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 1: because that's the same now you know. I'm here, you know,

176
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:06,960
Speaker 1: because of Mandy. And I remember because my I had

177
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,439
Speaker 1: another friend asked before you asked me to do a

178
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:10,360
Speaker 1: podcast together?

179
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:11,680
Speaker 2: Ooh, Danny.

180
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm not gonna say names because you know

181
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 1: who she is. And I said sure because at the

182
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 1: time I thought we were really close. And I said, oh,

183
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,719
Speaker 1: that sounds cool, you know, and like she was like,

184
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,120
Speaker 1: it's like a radio show, da da da or and

185
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 1: I said sure, and then maybe a week or so

186
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,320
Speaker 1: before you asked me, she dropped me, and I heard

187
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 1: my feelings kind of because she said, I know, I said,

188
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,400
Speaker 1: ask she I for you, and to be honest, I mean,

189
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,520
Speaker 1: to be fair, she was honest.

190
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:39,040
Speaker 2: She said, I know.

191
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,839
Speaker 1: I said that we should do a podcast together, but

192
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,079
Speaker 1: one of her friends or one of her mentors or

193
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,760
Speaker 1: something like that said that she shouldn't do it with

194
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,200
Speaker 1: me because we do we're too similar in this space.

195
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,400
Speaker 2: And I don't know, she said, I don't even know,

196
00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:57,760
Speaker 2: like I.

197
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,199
Speaker 1: Can't remember the exact words, but essentially that I'm you know,

198
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,320
Speaker 1: it's competition, you know that if we did something together.

199
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, but in my mind, I was

200
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: like that that doesn't make sense because you're my friend

201
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,599
Speaker 1: and what what you know what I mean. I just

202
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:19,120
Speaker 1: remember being really like, well, okay, and so when you

203
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 1: asked me, in my mind, I was like, is she

204
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:21,360
Speaker 1: gonna drop me too?

205
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,040
Speaker 2: Because I like this girl too.

206
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 1: But when you asked me, I was like, I was

207
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 1: really eager because I was like, okay, yes, and then

208
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,360
Speaker 1: we actually did it.

209
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,360
Speaker 2: So now I look back, I'm like, hey, this couldn't

210
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,040
Speaker 2: been you. It couldn't have been No, she's still cool,

211
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,319
Speaker 2: but I mean not to me.

212
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,520
Speaker 3: At the time. You know this, there was this dynamic

213
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 3: of in terms of like social media platform and you

214
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 3: had an audience baked in. Whereas I was a reporter,

215
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,000
Speaker 3: I wasn't the draw for the brands that I was

216
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,840
Speaker 3: working for for Yahoo, for Business Insider, I was doing

217
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,200
Speaker 3: articles underneath that brand. But like there was this element

218
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 3: of being the Kelly Roland to Tiffany's Beyonce, and not

219
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,240
Speaker 3: everybody can be Kelly. Kelly is fucking phenomenal. Thank you,

220
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,880
Speaker 3: and I'm really proud to be a Kelly. Like I'm

221
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:16,120
Speaker 3: really proud. It's not like, you know, who's the difference

222
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,280
Speaker 3: between Kelly and Beyonce. It's not a question of like

223
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 3: who's more talented, or who works harder, who dances better,

224
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,679
Speaker 3: who has the better voice. It's because Kelly has on

225
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,400
Speaker 3: paper everything that Beyonce has and so much strength. And

226
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:36,240
Speaker 3: it's just about feeling. It's about being able to step

227
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,480
Speaker 3: beside such a bright light and not feel like you

228
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:44,480
Speaker 3: are being cast in shadow. And I mean, I'm not

229
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,839
Speaker 3: a saint there. I will not lie and say that

230
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,120
Speaker 3: there weren't times when I felt like, you know, okay,

231
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:58,679
Speaker 3: it's Brandon ambision with Tiffany and who and you know,

232
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,959
Speaker 3: like feeling like yeah, I mean I think that I

233
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,880
Speaker 3: have those human feelings sometimes, especially you know, we have

234
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,520
Speaker 3: a guest on and it's like who is she? Who? Hi, Tiffany,

235
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,240
Speaker 3: You're my friend? Like I like, you know, and but

236
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,920
Speaker 3: at the same time like not like learning how to

237
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 3: I think it was one of the great lessons as

238
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,840
Speaker 3: a friend, as a sister, as a person, greatest lessons

239
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 3: to be put in a position where you are side

240
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,160
Speaker 3: by side with someone who shines so brightly undeniably, you know,

241
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,319
Speaker 3: and then to be coming into my own light at

242
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,959
Speaker 3: the same time, but not letting your war light intimidate

243
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:42,160
Speaker 3: me that I has to seeing you like grow to

244
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,880
Speaker 3: this light that you know that you are now.

245
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 1: I think like the first time when it was like yes,

246
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,800
Speaker 1: it was I don't know why, randomly, but we decided

247
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,280
Speaker 1: to go live, and I think our audience could like

248
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,360
Speaker 1: go live on like Instagram, Oh we did, yes.

249
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:58,880
Speaker 2: I think I think our.

250
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,760
Speaker 1: Normal like Arbha bisht I was like, oh my god,

251
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,320
Speaker 1: we love Manday blah blah blah. But when we went

252
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,439
Speaker 1: live on IG I don't think people realize how freaking

253
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,880
Speaker 1: hilarious you were oh. I remember distinctly because I remember

254
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,120
Speaker 1: being shocked at how many people were like, oh my god, minute.

255
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:16,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, do oh, y'all don't know, Mandy, because

256
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 1: you were cracking all the jokes. Everyone thinks that I'm

257
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,280
Speaker 1: just a silly, funny one. I'm like, hey, no, you know,

258
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 1: And I think it was like then it was like

259
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe it was I don't know when

260
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,559
Speaker 1: it was when we went live on IG together for

261
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,640
Speaker 1: the first time, but it cracked open this like, wow,

262
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 1: Mandy is hilarious and funny.

263
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 2: We knew she was smart, obviously she's reor but like, no, no, no, no.

264
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,640
Speaker 1: And so I think that I love that because it

265
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,199
Speaker 1: allowed people who maybe didn't listen to the podcast to

266
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:51,160
Speaker 1: realize that, like, oh, there's two smart, hilarious, brilliant women

267
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,480
Speaker 1: on this podcast. And I feel like I can see

268
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,319
Speaker 1: it when people come up to us. I remember the

269
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,640
Speaker 1: first time someone came up to me, he was like,

270
00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:58,680
Speaker 1: here's a huck for me, Andy.

271
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,520
Speaker 3: I was like, I was so geeked when you told

272
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,360
Speaker 3: me that. Oh my god. I would wait when you

273
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,160
Speaker 3: came back from any big event or like maybe like

274
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 3: anybody mentioned because it was a sign I'm like, we're

275
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,439
Speaker 3: getting through. We're getting through.

276
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:13,480
Speaker 2: You know.

277
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,000
Speaker 3: That reminds me of like the earliest days of the podcast.

278
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 3: One of the most iconic moments, and this is when

279
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 3: if we were like the Save by the Bell throwback

280
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,440
Speaker 3: episode at the end of the season, this is when

281
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,360
Speaker 3: they would like do like the little string orchestral because

282
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,160
Speaker 3: I will be inserting clips, yes I will. The iconic

283
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,520
Speaker 3: pack Panny conversation, which was on episode two or three.

284
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,560
Speaker 3: I want to say that was one of the moments

285
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,360
Speaker 3: that in the beginning I didn't know what to do

286
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:45,720
Speaker 3: with that other than like just I was like, is

287
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 3: this for brown ambition? Oh well, don't say wait, because no,

288
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 3: I think it was you made it so safe, You

289
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,240
Speaker 3: made me feel so safe, just to bring that level

290
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 3: because would always take it to one hundred.

291
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I remember asking me like, because I don't know,

292
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 1: I think I was saying, like, I don't what do

293
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,160
Speaker 1: people do for like what do women do for underwear,

294
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 1: because like mine just keep falling apart or whatever. But yeah,

295
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 1: that was one of my favorites because I realized because

296
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,000
Speaker 1: I didn't know what kind of show we were going

297
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 1: to do, but I like it's a show. Obviously, this

298
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,000
Speaker 1: is a finance show, but it's a finance and friendship show.

299
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I took I took myself a little

300
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,320
Speaker 3: too seriously in the beginning. I really did see my

301
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 3: position in the beginning. I thought of it as like,

302
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:40,720
Speaker 3: Tiffany is the the comedian, the sparkle, and I almost

303
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,920
Speaker 3: I would like tell myself, this is Tiffany. She's bringing

304
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 3: the light and the fun and the joy and the

305
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 3: you know, the key key and the comedic relief. And

306
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 3: it's I looked at it as my position to like

307
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,600
Speaker 3: be the somber like fact finder. Well, Tiffany, let's check

308
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,480
Speaker 3: the let's go to the facts, because according to this

309
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 3: study into and that side of me still comes out

310
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,720
Speaker 3: a little bit because I just like, I still consider

311
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 3: myself a journalist. But it was it took me a minute,

312
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 3: I think, to get comfortable, not necessarily like with you,

313
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 3: but definitely with like not necessarily needing to like beat

314
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 3: the audience over the head with like facts and data

315
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 3: and statistics and news and Okay, so pack Panties is

316
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 3: just one of those iconic moments. It's the moment that

317
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 3: sticks in my mind when I think about Okay, this

318
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 3: is not going to be the show that maybe I

319
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 3: like my straight a journalism four point oh gpa, you

320
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,200
Speaker 3: know brain wanted it to be, but that it was

321
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 3: going to be something quite different. Yes, this is brown break.

322
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 2: Time because it is Brown Break.

323
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 3: Do you want to go first?

324
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 4: Sure?

325
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,720
Speaker 1: So I was walking here and I was walking here

326
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 1: and my pack underwear was riding up my behind as

327
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 1: I always us, and I was like.

328
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 5: Great, you know what, and I say it again, your

329
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,639
Speaker 5: pack underwear. So I call it pack underwear because you

330
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 5: buy it a pack some people. I'm like, people don't

331
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 5: buy you know, Hanes.

332
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,439
Speaker 3: I didn't know people under the age of forty five

333
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 3: bucks under pack.

334
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 5: It's like past the age of thirteen and under the

335
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,520
Speaker 5: age of forty five you should not be buying your

336
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,760
Speaker 5: underwear and a pack I didn't know.

337
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 2: And so like they never fit. So one, you either

338
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 2: have the GRAMDMA fit.

339
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,159
Speaker 1: It goes up to your navel and just like you know,

340
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,120
Speaker 1: it almost looks like, you know, like the sixties bathing

341
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 1: suits that are like really cute, highwaisted.

342
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it looks like over the belly, yes, And so.

343
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: It either looks like that or or you look like

344
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 1: a six year old because they're like, you know, they

345
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 1: actually have like designs and stuff on them or unicorns,

346
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,720
Speaker 1: yes and so, and it just never fits my butt.

347
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 1: So it's either way too big for my butt or

348
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 1: it's literally like slicing my cheeks in half.

349
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 2: And so I just never can find the white pack underwear.

350
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 2: And then Annie told me that there's my problem right there.

351
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,680
Speaker 5: Stop buying your underwear and a pack, ladies.

352
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 2: So I'm like, but what, so what I don't want? Necessarily?

353
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 1: I feel like either I have pack underwear or I

354
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 1: have like my Lacey numbers for what I want to

355
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 1: get sassy, you know, So what's in between? And uh?

356
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 2: Full coverage?

357
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 5: Because I feel like there was a point in my

358
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 5: life when I was in high school and I don't

359
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 5: know why I was, but I would go to like

360
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 5: Row twenty one and I'd buy the dollar thongs and

361
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,959
Speaker 5: then they would just sit in my drawer. I used

362
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,200
Speaker 5: to have this big wad, I like tangled up, never

363
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,959
Speaker 5: worn maybe, but once they had like little things dangling

364
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 5: from them.

365
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 3: Like yeah, I was a virgin until like how long? No,

366
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 3: I did not need to have dangling.

367
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 5: Dollar signs for my undermind, like thongs. Nobody wanted to

368
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 5: see me thought they always rode up the back. Yes,

369
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 5: they made it like a line in your ass. You

370
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 5: can see through your jeans and your dress.

371
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 1: Never because I'm like, I'm gonna pay underwear to ride

372
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 1: up the kind of but I have, you're paying for

373
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 1: a wedgie basically.

374
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: And so I had those same.

375
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 1: Things because I would get it from Joyce Leslie. Did

376
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 1: you love a Joyce Leslie? It's like rainbow, Okay, we

377
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,640
Speaker 1: like that kind of I get it. And so Joyce

378
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 1: Leslie used to have, like for like a dollar, they

379
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,439
Speaker 1: would have like you know, like thongs, all this lace

380
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,639
Speaker 1: and like all this beating and stuff, and it just

381
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,159
Speaker 1: seemed like a good idea at the time until you

382
00:18:59,160 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 1: put them on, You're like, but.

383
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 2: Why because it's cute?

384
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

385
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: All right.

386
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 3: So the next part of the journey that I think

387
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 3: really sticks out for me is our love relationships. I

388
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 3: think I don't know if you've ever have you listened

389
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 3: back to the very first episode of Brown Ambition. It

390
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 3: will I don't know if it'll make you cringe, But

391
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 3: my baby, my baby voice that still had a little

392
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: bit of that southern twang.

393
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,400
Speaker 2: Oh I did.

394
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 3: Hey everyone, I'm Mandy.

395
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 2: Hey, It's Tiphany and this is Brown Ambition.

396
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 5: I've been a reporter in New York City for five years.

397
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 5: Right now, I'm a writer at Yahoo Finance. I write

398
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 5: about money, business, career, basically anything to do with the

399
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 5: world and how it impacts your wallet.

400
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: And I am Tiffany but much better known as the

401
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 1: Budget Lista and I'm a financial educator, best selling author, speaker, teacher,

402
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,119
Speaker 1: all things personal finance. Basically, on this podcast, we're we're

403
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 1: going to be talking about career, relationships, life and living

404
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: in this brown skin.

405
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 5: We work, we start businesses, we help one another. We

406
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,360
Speaker 5: do everything we can to make a better life for ourselves.

407
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 5: And that's what Brown Ambition is all about. So here

408
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 5: are some topics you might hear us talk about on

409
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 5: the podcast.

410
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 1: How to deal with office bulliefes and microaggressions, Coping with

411
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: being the only one in the office, Yes, how to.

412
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 2: Get money for a new business even when you have

413
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 2: no idea what you're doing.

414
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: Should you care if people think you have resting bitch

415
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 1: base guilty? What to do when by earns less than

416
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: you guilty guilty, Whether or not we should use the

417
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: word bay in everyday conversations.

418
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: I have a lot of thoughts about this, but the

419
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 3: way that we were so green and young in love

420
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 3: in our relationships, I wondered, if you can think I mean,

421
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 3: obviously there's the I mean, it could be more different

422
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 3: than it was ten years ago, nine years ago when

423
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 3: we aired, when we recorded that episode, But I wanted

424
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,879
Speaker 3: to reflect on us as like, were you specifically and

425
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 3: how you feel like you've grown as you know, someone

426
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 3: in love someone, how you approach your romantic relationships, your

427
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 3: your idea of partnership and how that changed.

428
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm trying to think, how what year did

429
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 2: we start Brandonbishing again?

430
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 3: Twenty fifteen?

431
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 2: Twenty fifteen, So I was thirty.

432
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 3: Five and when you said you said that on the

433
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 3: show on the first episode, really I was like, oh

434
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,479
Speaker 3: my god, I'm the exact same age as Tiffany.

435
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, be grown not growl maybe being baby tipically, Yes, yes,

436
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 2: that's so crazy.

437
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, I was thirty five and Jirelle and I

438
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 1: had started dating again at thirty four, so we I

439
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: met him in my mid twenties, early to mid twenties.

440
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 2: We dated a little bit when we were thirty, but

441
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 2: I was.

442
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: Really focused on Bujanisa and then at thirty four, we

443
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: were like, okay, let's like, we'll we go for this.

444
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 1: So by then we probably were dating for like, if

445
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 1: not a year, nearly a year, so he wasn't new

446
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: to me. You know, this is somebody who, like I

447
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 1: cared about.

448
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 3: For vera think you guys were living together.

449
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, if we either, I had just moved in

450
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: because like, because I remember he was because I lived

451
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 1: around the corner.

452
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: He was like, you always over here, which is something

453
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 2: droll say, you might as well just move in. So

454
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 2: I did.

455
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 1: And I didn't know but then two years later we'd

456
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: be married. But yeah, then I was My thoughts about

457
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 1: love then were I was ready to settle down. I

458
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 1: had been doing budget easta for a while and I

459
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: hated coming home after something amazing happened. And then you know,

460
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: it was just like me and I just realized that

461
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: I wanted more than just whatever financial business success could bring.

462
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 1: That I want a companionship. And you know, I had

463
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: always really cared about Durell and he just was always

464
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: kind and sweet and considerate. And I think by when

465
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: by that time I knew I wanted to marry him,

466
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: I think I probably already gave him a ultimatum, because

467
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 1: I said, you got about one year, sir, It'll take

468
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: a whole year to recognize sunshine. That's what I told him,

469
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: I said, December thirty. First you either go and have

470
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: a roommate or what did I tell him? I said,

471
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a fiance or a new roommate. And

472
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: so yeah, by the next year, he'd asked me to

473
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: marry him. And then we got married at thirty when

474
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: I was thirty seven, so the year after that and yeah,

475
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 1: so my approach to dating is still kind of the.

476
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 3: Dating, but like a partnership. Like when you were you

477
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: were literally like Darrell at the time, you were approaching

478
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 3: the kind of partner that you wanted at the time,

479
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 3: and you were such a different place blank slate, whereas

480
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 3: now we know you gotta boy.

481
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 1: So I'm a partner now, But it's different in that

482
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 1: then I was very, very very focused on getting married,

483
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: focus on getting married.

484
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 2: I want to have kids, I want to get married.

485
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: I won't have kids, wan't get married.

486
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: So that is not the same That urgency is not

487
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: there where if I were to get married again, okay,

488
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 1: if not, Okay, Honestly, I'm literally like however, the wind blows,

489
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to have children, so I don't

490
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: have an urgency. I'm just in partnership now. I'm just seeking,

491
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: like truly a partnership, somebody who is kind to who's considered,

492
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: someone who I can trust. And but I'm not concerned

493
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 1: if I get married or not. You know, if that happens,

494
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: they'd have to be pretty amazing. I mean, like, my

495
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: partner now is great, but there's a different level of

496
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 1: great now. Doctor Green reminded me. She said, this is

497
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: a different type of dating that happens before and after marriage, Tiffany,

498
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: She said, because before marriage, you're guessing what kind of

499
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: partner you need. You know, You're like, oh, I want this,

500
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: I want that, I want this and that. And she said,

501
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 1: after marriage, you're like, I kind of know, you know,

502
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: because it's different. Like if so my partner now, for example,

503
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: if I had never been married before, I'd be like,

504
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: hell yeah, I'd marry him because he has all the

505
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: fairy tale checklist things that you'd want. But Tiffany, who's

506
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 1: been married, is like, girl, we need a little more.

507
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: Of thistle or you know, the real deal, because.

508
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: Child, I mean, you know, every married, one will tell

509
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: you is not always easy. And so there's some components

510
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: that you're just like aside from the checklist, a good

511
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: person kind, but there's some other things and so like

512
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: I am, you know, like if I don't have those things,

513
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: I'm okay with not getting married because child, you know,

514
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 1: marrying the wrong person. I didn't marry the wrong person.

515
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: But marrying the wrong person, you know, is hell and

516
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: a headache. And I'm not interested in that because you

517
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 1: had the fairy tale thing. So that's where I am

518
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: now where I'm really content with my love life and

519
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 1: dating life now if it grows and matures into something

520
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: more great, and if not, I'll never be alone. I

521
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: got sisters and friends, Okay, I'll be right a man

522
00:25:56,520 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: his house, Like, hey, hey Benbino, I'm yet t t.

523
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 3: I would love that you have no idea the way

524
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 3: that I get jealous when I think about like your

525
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 3: you know, your friends, who are your neighbors just down

526
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,959
Speaker 3: the street. I'm like, oh, what would life be if

527
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 3: Tiffany was just around the corner? I would never go

528
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 3: home or you would never go home.

529
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: I know.

530
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 2: I'm like, tip my babies off.

531
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: That's what it's really better this way the biggest thing

532
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 3: for Oh and okay, I'll get to that in a second.

533
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 3: But I did want to be before we moved too

534
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 3: far away from the pack panny thing. I went and

535
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 3: found the name. I was like, what was the name

536
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 3: of that episode? Do you know what the name of

537
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 3: the episode was?

538
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 6: Oh?

539
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 3: I didn't know that. We just went ahead and put

540
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 3: it in the title no More Raggedy Underwear.

541
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 2: Oh now, what's that? Wow?

542
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 3: Episode twenty six Okay, it wasn't like episode two. You know,

543
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 3: there was a lot of life. We went through a

544
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 3: lot to that first year of the podcast. Because I'm

545
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: looking at these titles, I'm like, Tiffany makes a big

546
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 3: baby decision. That's when I think you were talking about,

547
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 3: like I'm going for it.

548
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talked.

549
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 3: I mean we had to go through the election together. Yeah,

550
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 3: the twenty sixteen election. That was both of our engagements.

551
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: Our episode fifteen put a ring on it when I

552
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 3: say this title, what do you remember what this is about? Okay,

553
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,479
Speaker 3: maybe you will, maybe you won't. Episode fourteen, Gifted Hands,

554
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: foolish mind. No, you know, remember think about the election cycle,

555
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 3: think about a politician gifted hands.

556
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,360
Speaker 2: Oh, I was gonna say Gifted Hands is the name

557
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: of the Oh Ben Carson.

558
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 3: Ben Carson, remember he was like, wasn't he like running

559
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 3: for office or something?

560
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 1: Oh?

561
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 3: He just yeah, it brings it back.

562
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: Man, what a legacy burner.

563
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 3: Some of our earliest guests, I mean we didn't have

564
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 3: I mean, we were small. I mean I don't even

565
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,959
Speaker 3: think how could you compare our side to any other

566
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 3: podcasts They were so new. But our earliest guest morgan

567
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 3: to on a blavity that was our first like I

568
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 3: thought it was a back yeah, and afrotech. Oh, I'm

569
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 3: gonna be an afrotech. There was also Lovey was one

570
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 3: of our very first guests. Oh my days. But we

571
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 3: didn't we we I feel like we decided early on,

572
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 3: like this magic of us being in the like road

573
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 3: tripping together. It kind of felt like, you know, Thelma

574
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 3: and Louise every time we started a show, like not

575
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 3: to drive off a cliff, but to be side by side.

576
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's fun looking at these Why every

577
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 3: woman needs an FU fund No more raggedy underwear Wanda has.

578
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 3: Wanda has zero FS to give.

579
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 2: I wonder what happened there, but I know Wanda's what

580
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: I call my eighty year.

581
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 3: Old Wanda is what you call your eighty year old self. Okay, Now, friendship.

582
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 3: We talk a lot about our friendship. You, I think,

583
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 3: in small spurts have mentioned your shift as a friend

584
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: and like the kind of friendship that you ten years

585
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 3: ago started the show where we had patients for and like,

586
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: how like what have you learned about like keeping certain

587
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: people in your life and exercising certain people from your

588
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 3: life over the past ten years, because that's definitely been

589
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 3: a theme of your growth. If I think, excuse me, think.

590
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: Back to well, remember like we had I don't know

591
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: if we had an episode we talked about bully friends.

592
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 3: Remember, oh yeah, I mean was that a whole We

593
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 3: definitely talked about bully friends and that I got very

594
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: afraid that I was your bully friend.

595
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: No, no, no, And so so I used to have

596
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: I mean ever since I was little, you know, I

597
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: just had this I don't know, this thought that brought

598
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: on that I it was okay to mistreat me, you know,

599
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: in friendship. And so I always had a bully friend

600
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: and typically you know, she was it typically was a girl,

601
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: and she probably was my best friend at the time.

602
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 2: I think about my college in college.

603
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: I think about certainly some of my elementary and middle

604
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: school of friends, and even as a grown adult, I

605
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: got rid of my last bully friend. I was like,

606
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: thirty nine, I'm sure she's probably gonna be like because

607
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: she's hyper.

608
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: Sensitive, because anybody should see anything, girl, it's happening to

609
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 2: blow it up.

610
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, because I'm like whatever, because the truth of

611
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: the matter is everybody around bullies knows, but bullies all,

612
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: you know, especially like a sensitive bully who's like not me,

613
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 1: but seically the people be knowing. Because I used to

614
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: be an enabler too. When I saw her bullying, I'd

615
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 1: be like, well, I know, but you know, I just

616
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: she well, you know, I kind of would just but

617
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: if someone would say something, I'd be like, we all know,

618
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: you know so, but I don't.

619
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't tolerate that anymore.

620
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: So, you know, i'd gotten rid of, I would say,

621
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: the bulk of my bully friends after I graduated college,

622
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: but I still had some remnants of a handful of

623
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: people who you know, kind of just came into the

624
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: future with me. And then finally my final one was Yeah,

625
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: around thirty nine forty, I think I was saying I'm

626
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: not going to go into forty with this kind of

627
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: relationship anymore.

628
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: And I cut it off.

629
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: And you know when you've done the right thing about

630
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: letting someone go. I mean, I didn't just cut it

631
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: off like I stopped talking. I said, hey, it's not

632
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: this is not happening anymore, and you can't have access

633
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: to me, you can't be a part of my life.

634
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: I just made that clear. So it wasn't like, you know,

635
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 2: I didn't just ghost.

636
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 3: And it was like, if you don't fix, like, here's

637
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 3: the things you need to fix, I'm gonna give you.

638
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: Like prior to that, we've had those conversations. So it

639
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: wasn't like it wasn't just out of the blue. It

640
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: was like we had those conversations. We had to conversation. Honestly,

641
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: she was really I look back and I'm like, I

642
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: wish I could go back and cuss her the hell out,

643
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: like the Tiffany I am now, because there was some

644
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: stuff like yeah, because honestly, there's some things. What I've

645
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: learned now is that bullies, people bully friends like that

646
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: don't treat everyone that way. They know kind of who

647
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: will allow for the bad behavior, and they don't start

648
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: off that way, but once they start to realize that,

649
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: I would allow for the beast behave. You know, you

650
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: say something slick and I don't correct it, you say

651
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: something mean, I don't correct. I remember like she used

652
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 1: to call me stupid, yes, which is crazy.

653
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 4: What context like, So it was wild kind of like stupid,

654
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 4: you know, because it would be like, girl, you know,

655
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 4: you're just so stupid and I'd be like, because I'd

656
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 4: be like it was borderline like you stupid but not quiet,

657
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 4: and I'd be like, don't say that, you know, I

658
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 4: told you I don't like when you say that, and

659
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,719
Speaker 4: she'd be like, oh gosh, girl, you just I mean,

660
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 4: you know, I'd just be playing and things like that

661
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 4: would come up where I'd be like, I feel like

662
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 4: there's an undertone here, you know, like it's not given.

663
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 2: Like girls stupid.

664
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like more like or I remember because

665
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: low key, high key I know she was jealous of

666
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: my business. I said it girl, you know you were,

667
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: And I know someone's gonna show this to her and

668
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 1: she's gonna listen and say this is what I mean.

669
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 2: I don't care honestly that it's happening.

670
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 1: Because everyone everyone was so afraid to tell her about herself,

671
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: and it's it's as a result, you know, she she

672
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: morphed into a person that people did not want to

673
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: be around.

674
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 2: Certainly, it's not like she doesn't have any friends.

675
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: But you know what, I knew that it was the

676
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: right choice because after I stopped being her friend and

677
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: I kind of let my friends know, everybody was like final,

678
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: freakingly the hell, And literally there were people who had

679
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 1: stopped coming around as much that I didn't realize. They

680
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, I didn't want to come to your events.

681
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: I didn't want to come to your parties. I didn't

682
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: want to because I didn't you know, she's nasty, And

683
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow. So the place I am in now

684
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: is that when I look at every single person, like

685
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: you you came to my house for my birthday, the

686
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: level of love and openness, like, I am inundated with love.

687
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 2: You know, I over index in good kind people.

688
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: There is not even a whiff of nastiness or bullingness

689
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: or in any of the people that I surround myself with.

690
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: And I always thought that if I was overtly nice,

691
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: that's the kind of energy you got back. But what

692
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: I learned is that's not true, that clearest kind. And

693
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: I am very clear with anyone who enters into my

694
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: life newly that I will not tolerate, you know, mistreatment.

695
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: I remember my bully friend used to say things like

696
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 1: because she she had her own business, she would say

697
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: things like we would be talking about somebody with a business, like, oh,

698
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: that business does good, and they would have hit a

699
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: milestone and I'll say, well, I hit that milestone. She's like, yeah,

700
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: but like for real, like they hit that milestone for real.

701
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, you know.

702
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: But so there was a constant like devaluing of me

703
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: as a person, but me as a business person. And

704
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: that's when I realized, oh, that's just called jealousy because

705
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: we had started our business around the same time and

706
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: quite yeah, no, yeah, And here's the thing, you know, me,

707
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: I'm always the alleyber. I mean, I'm gonna put you on,

708
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say your name, I'm gonna put you into rooms.

709
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, and so so I was doing that.

710
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 1: And I realized that like I was the only one

711
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: doing that, and then my my act was being misused

712
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: and people who I was giving folks giving her access

713
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: to she was mistreating, and so they would come back

714
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: to me and say, hey, you know, I wasn't treated right.

715
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: And then that's when I realized that aside from the

716
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: personal part, the professional part also had to disable and

717
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: so old Tiffany would be like, oh, don't say all

718
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: this stuff, Tiffany. Now, I'm okay with it because the

719
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 1: truth is the truth. And maybe she's different now, but

720
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: quite honestly, I don't care. I mean, I prayerfully, I

721
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 1: hope all things are well, but there's no access here,

722
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, like I don't you know,

723
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: there's no a day has not passed. I've missed that friendship,

724
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: not even a little bit. That's how you knew it

725
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: was really toxic. And I had participated in it. You know,

726
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: it wasn't like you know, this is not don't cry

727
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: for me, Argentina. I allowed, I did not correct, you know,

728
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 1: I you know, I enabled the bad behavior. But I

729
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: don't do that anymore. So my friendships now, like I

730
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: just look for good kind people. If I am afraid

731
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: to tell you how I feel, and if I'm afraid,

732
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: you know, to show up fully as myself, then I

733
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 1: know this is not a friendship. Or even a connection

734
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: that I want to keep up with. And so when

735
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 1: I look around now, like you know, I've never felt

736
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: more blessed, which is so crazy.

737
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 2: Because Darrell's not here, but I am in such a

738
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: good place, like despite that great loss.

739
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: And I have to really credit him because Darrell was

740
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 1: not you know, he wasn't about that life anybody bullying him.

741
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 2: So losing him, it's almost like I absorb some of

742
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 2: his nerve and gall you know, because.

743
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: There's a lot of stuff to drug. Did not put

744
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: up with the bullshit, you know, I w was tell

745
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 1: him like, oh baby, people like what you want me

746
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: to talk to her?

747
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 2: Because you want you know, I'm like no, no, no, no, no,

748
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 2: do you know?

749
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 1: And so you know, so there's a lot of like

750
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, Darrell lived this like free, beautiful life.

751
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: He was kind to people and he was honest, but

752
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: he was also like, you know, like I'm all with

753
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: you on and so I felt like I absorbed some

754
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: of that, Like I'm not afraid of people anymore. You

755
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 1: can't talk to me any kind of way. Be careful

756
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 1: what you say about me in these streets, because I

757
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: promise you the person that you you think you key

758
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: key in with I probably helped them in the past,

759
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 1: and they're really looking at you like you're crazy.

760
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 2: The things have come back to me. I'm like, oh really, see.

761
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,479
Speaker 1: She was about to get the opportunity, didn't she fucking

762
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: up herself thinking that she's gonna fuck it up for me?

763
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 2: Not me, girl, Because the.

764
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 1: Thing is, I try to move right and tight. You know,

765
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,760
Speaker 1: I'm kind to people, I'm honest, I don't take advantage.

766
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's just a different Tiffany, Like I am

767
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,479
Speaker 1: much tougher. I'm kinder, meaning I'm clearer, but I'm also

768
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: much tougher. So yeah, my stance on friendship now is

769
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: like like your reaction to me telling you that I

770
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: think it's time for me to leave brand ambition is

771
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: the type of friendship that I seek.

772
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 2: Now, one where it is safe to say that I

773
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 2: did not feel unsafe.

774
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 1: I was I don't want to say worried, but like

775
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: sad because I didn't want to make you feel sad

776
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: or make you think that I was leaving because you

777
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: did anything.

778
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 2: But I wasn't scared to tell you yeah, because I thought.

779
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 1: That you'd be like, well, that's well, you're not my friend,

780
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: you know, what I mean that it was just more

781
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: so like, oh man, this is a sad feeling, and

782
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 1: I know it's going to bring up feelings of sadness,

783
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: but I'm not afraid of Mandy or think that Mandy's

784
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: gonna weaponize this to hurt me. And so that's the

785
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 1: kind of friendship that we should be able to say

786
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: the hard things in a kind way in a safe space.

787
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,439
Speaker 1: And everybody who's close to me I have that with him. So, yeah,

788
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: are you making new friends today? At some I mean, like,

789
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: you know, I don't, you know, I don't open the

790
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: doors quite as easily because when i'm your friend, girl,

791
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: it's like we're gonna go.

792
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: I like to go above and beyond.

793
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: So you know, I don't have a ton of capacity

794
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 1: for like a bajillion folks. But obviously some people, you know,

795
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: trying to make their way. I'm like, they're trying to

796
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: making their way down to well get fast, and I say,

797
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 1: we'll see because actions speak louder than words, and so

798
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: you know, not that I get people tests or anything,

799
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, you know, if this is truly

800
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 1: going to develop into a friendship, then it will. So

801
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 1: I'm open to friend and ships, but I'm certainly not

802
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: chasing after.

803
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 3: Them, gotcha. Yeah. My therapist reminded me after my big

804
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 3: friendship breakup last year, was like, you know, and you

805
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 3: can make new friends, and I was like, oh the work,

806
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 3: but yeah, there's Yeah, I've learned a lot from from

807
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 3: like your pro like the way that you've shared stories

808
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 3: about your friendships over the years. I know we always

809
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 3: talk about that one, but because obviously it was like

810
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 3: it's like my one, I'll probably still be talking about

811
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 3: her in ten years. But yeah, I think that kind

812
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 3: of transparency is just it's just why everyone loves you,

813
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: why this show is so different. Okay, so episode eighty seven,

814
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,240
Speaker 3: Tiffany is going to bring us into our next category,

815
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 3: which is health. Because episode eighty seven was called you

816
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,919
Speaker 3: ready if you had to guess?

817
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: No, that was later water.

818
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 3: To get there. Why if I have to spend every hour,

819
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna find every clip of you talking about a

820
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 3: new workout routine and how this is the best thing.

821
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 3: It's my my brown boost this week, I'm walking that,

822
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 3: I'm jumping rope, I always drinking water. I don't know

823
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 3: how many trainers were the brown boost one a week

824
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 3: and we never heard about them. Again.

825
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 1: It wasn't just one Jeremiah, I Kana Jeremiah.

826
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 3: There was vegan Tiffany. Oh yeah here in the beginning.

827
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: You know, I've been through a day, Oh Tiffany.

828
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 3: There was probably the meal kit delivery phase. I had

829
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 3: one of those. Yes, there was the shopping at Whole

830
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 3: Foods girls.

831
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 2: Yes, yes.

832
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: But anyway, this episode is actually called Fibroids and Finances.

833
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 3: So I I think you've been so transparent. The whole

834
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 3: fibroid conversation came up because of your fertility journey.

835
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: Speaking of bad things to you to do is this

836
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 1: is a random but I went to the doctor today.

837
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 2: Everybody shit gown.

838
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys probably go I'm the worst. I'm

839
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: not even gonna lie. I am the absolute worst with

840
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: going to the doctor.

841
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 3: Like a physical.

842
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: Well, I want to when men want to have a

843
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: super well, we want to have a super baby. So

844
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I have to make sure that,

845
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,320
Speaker 1: like I mean, I've had like I've gone to the

846
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: regular doctor. That's like, oh, that's pretty easy. You know

847
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: I've done that.

848
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: You know, I get my yearly physicals.

849
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 1: But the Guiana for some reason, I don't know if

850
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 1: it's just the weirdness of hey, there's my vagina.

851
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 2: You're looking in there, you know, if that's why you know.

852
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: But so I went and I found out that I

853
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 2: have five boyds.

854
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: I did not know, like even though it's probably the

855
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 1: only thing, and I don't want to say it runs

856
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 1: in my family, but I'm not the only one in

857
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: my family. So but we're like, we don't there's no

858
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: there's no history of like asthma or diabetes or whatever,

859
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: you know, like when you check off the list.

860
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 2: Like there's none of that.

861
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, but fiend seem to be like a semi reoccurring theme.

862
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: So I want to I want to honestly speak with

863
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: a woman doctor who this is her specialty, because I

864
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 1: don't want to Russian and get something done and then I,

865
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: you know, I take away the chance of me being

866
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: able to have children. You know.

867
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like catch us up, I mean, if you

868
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 3: don't mind, well, as far as it's up on what

869
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: has happened and what the effect has been with your

870
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 3: body and like what looking back now, I don't know

871
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 3: what would you say to people who are maybe like

872
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 3: on that similar journey or facing fibroids or something like

873
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 3: that today.

874
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: So well, first fib words, just for those who don't know.

875
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: They're kind of like, there are tumors that are not

876
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 1: that are benign, that live in and outside of a

877
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: woman's uterus and can prevent you from having children because

878
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: they take up the space in the uterus that a

879
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 1: kid would grow. So some women will and typically the

880
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: issue with fibroids is that as the baby grows, so

881
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: does the fibroid, you know, or fibroids. I had like

882
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: seventeen of them, and they.

883
00:42:59,160 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 2: Were the sex.

884
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 1: I used to always have this a little bit of

885
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 1: a belly and I was like, word, but it was

886
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 1: a weird belly because it wasn't like.

887
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 2: I can't describe it. There was like the belly where

888
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 2: you're like, oh no, that's a little fat.

889
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: But it poked almost like you know how men have

890
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: like a beer belly where it pokes in a weird way.

891
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 1: So I look back at pictures and I just started saying,

892
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: I'm just so greedy a girl.

893
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 2: I got a belly.

894
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: But I looked the belly said sat high, you know.

895
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 1: And at the time I didn't know what it was,

896
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: and I was full of fiveboids. And I didn't find

897
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: out until I had gotten naturally pregnant with Darrell, like

898
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 1: I I was thirty seven, it was like the year

899
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: where he got married, or maybe thirty eight, and I

900
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: was really excited but really nervous. And then I started

901
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 1: spotting and I just got really nervous and we went

902
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: to the emergency room and they.

903
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 2: Were like, uh, I don't see a baby. All I

904
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: see is five boids. And I was like, wait what?

905
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 1: And I didn't even know if I fully eve knew

906
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: what fireboards were then, and I ended up having a miscarriage.

907
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 1: And so in large part because the fireboards were like

908
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 1: your body knows there's no room here, so what are

909
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 1: we gonna do?

910
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: And so I went to.

911
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: A gynecologist, and if I'm being honest, I'm until that

912
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: I had not been going to a doctor regularly because

913
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: I had no money and I didn't have health insurance

914
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:20,800
Speaker 1: because you know, business owner, and I had been largely

915
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: celebrated for a while before I met Jarelle.

916
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 2: So I was kind of like, well, my vagian is.

917
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 3: Fine because fiberds like they don't have their asymptomatic I

918
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 3: mean yeah, well like walk around with them and.

919
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean now with them going I'm like, oh,

920
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: that's what that feeling was.

921
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 1: Certainly there can be like pressure and uncomfortable, a feeling

922
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: of being uncomfortable during sex, which I did have, but

923
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: I just kind of was like, I don't know, and

924
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: then like I felt like now like it was like

925
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,320
Speaker 1: a ball that I could especially one of them was

926
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 1: pretty big because collectively they were the size of me

927
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: being four months pregnant. So I imagine, man, that's what

928
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 1: the kind of like stomach was. And so the doctors like,

929
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: you don't feel like I hear them like I do,

930
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: but I've never not felt it because they grow over time.

931
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: So I just was like, that's just how it feels,

932
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: you know, my tummy feels, and there's pressure on my bladder,

933
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: and certainly they can cause for heavier periods. So I

934
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,360
Speaker 1: had all these things, but I didn't know these were simpsons.

935
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: I just thought, I'm a woman, this is just woman life.

936
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: And then so I had them taken out, like literally

937
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: they cut you open like I have a the scar

938
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 1: is largely faded for women who have sea sections.

939
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 2: It's like the similar sea section bikini line scar.

940
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: And they went in opened up my uterus, took took

941
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,399
Speaker 1: out the ones they could, and they left the ones

942
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: on the outside, so I did, I still have some

943
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: fibroyds because they didn't want to compromise the uterus. They

944
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,919
Speaker 1: wanted to leave it open and clear to have a baby. Yeah,

945
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: and so a lot of women they go right back.

946
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons why I became veacan, because

947
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 1: I had read a lot of like literature that fibroids.

948
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: They're not really sure of the cause, but they suspect.

949
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 1: I mean, there that's very hormonal. And then the homones

950
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: in the meat, and I stopped eating dairy and just

951
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 1: like you know, and I have to say, as far

952
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: as I can tell, they haven't really grown back inside

953
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: my uterus. You know, my period never went back to

954
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: being heavy again. I don't have like the belly. I mean,

955
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: I got the food belly, but not the vibral million.

956
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 3: So you have to continue to be concerned about it.

957
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 3: Like they you know, get them growing back.

958
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: They can't, Yeah, for many women, for they grow back.

959
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: So it depends what concern means, meaning like they can

960
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: make like feel a little uncomfortable, but they're not you know,

961
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: they're not.

962
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: Deadly, you know.

963
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: And so I know, like a lot of my friends

964
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: who are who are older ended up just deciding, you know,

965
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: like in their forties whatever, like if they had their

966
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 1: kids already, just just say I am just gonna have

967
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 1: a hysterectomy. Just get rid of them, get rid of

968
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: my uterus. I'm not there yet, So I do have

969
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 1: like a a guy, you know. I so I used

970
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: to go to Ghana College's damn there every week when

971
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 1: I was doing IVF for three years because I had

972
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: you know, I used to go to the IVF center

973
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,919
Speaker 1: and you get checked every week. But when girl passed away,

974
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: I just stopped going everywhere. So I'm just now getting

975
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: back to the doctor. So I just found a new guy.

976
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: I know, you know, I've had my yeah, because I

977
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: just was because if I'm being honest, I'm not sure

978
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: what's happening inside here because I haven't I haven't been

979
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: to colleges in three years, just because I kind of

980
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: just gave up on life.

981
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 3: And so like, I know, I mean that kind of

982
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 3: candor is like, yeah, it's real, that's real.

983
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: Because I was like, well, what do I can't you know,

984
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: I can have a baby, I can't, you know, And

985
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,399
Speaker 1: I don't know if I felt like it was kind

986
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: of a reminder. But I remember even when I went

987
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: back to the doctor doctor because I had my first

988
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: doctor's appointment, you know, since he passed away, maybe like

989
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago.

990
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, I see in.

991
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 1: Your chart this speak gap. And then I just sometimes

992
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: you don't know when the tears are going to come up.

993
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm fine to say it. And I just told

994
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 1: her like, oh, yeah, my husb, I've been died. And

995
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm like, what

996
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 1: the hell. But she was so kind, and she was like,

997
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: you know, that happens a lot, and I'm glad that

998
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: you're taking care of yourself again. You know. I just

999
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: give it a clean bill of health. Although so I

1000
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 1: have pre diabetes since I've be eating sugar a lot,

1001
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: I know, but other than that, and so like I

1002
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 1: was like, all right, the next are you really.

1003
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 3: Are you really pre diabetic?

1004
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1005
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:27,400
Speaker 3: Technically your A one C was like high at your

1006
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: last physicle, and she was like.

1007
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 1: Girl, yeah, She was like you need to you know,

1008
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,320
Speaker 1: because she was like, you know, you're not necessarily overweight.

1009
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 1: Certainly I could like, you know, slow down and maybe

1010
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 1: lose five to ten pounds, but I think it's mostly

1011
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: just like my sugar like intake because I'm kind of

1012
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 1: a candy hole like.

1013
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 3: So, but yeah, so I have it's just like a

1014
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 3: genetic thing that your body just doesn't maybe so sugar.

1015
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 3: Yeah that well, So I got such a big scare

1016
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 3: during my most recent pregnancy with the whole diabetes thing.

1017
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 3: So that's a new challenge. Like looking ahead for you

1018
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 3: is like what's the plan there?

1019
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 2: Either.

1020
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 3: I think it was you had you had had a

1021
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 3: miscarriage and I was pregnant, and I think I told you.

1022
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 3: I forget which one of them came first, but I

1023
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 3: remember having it was off air. I remember having a

1024
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 3: conversation with you about those dual things, and like it

1025
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 3: was you know, it was just one of the reasons

1026
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 3: why I think our friendship is so specials like we

1027
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 3: were able to like acknowledge the fucked up initness of it,

1028
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 3: Like yeah, and for you, I just wonder, was there

1029
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 3: anything in particular, like if there's people listening who are

1030
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 3: in that fertility struggle now that you could say to

1031
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 3: like coexist when other people in your life are having

1032
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 3: a different journey. Because I don't know.

1033
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 1: If you remember, but I do remember an episode where

1034
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 1: we talked about children and having kids. It might have

1035
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: been it was very early on, and I remember saying,

1036
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,800
Speaker 1: and that was true, that I wasn't certain one hundred

1037
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: percent that I wanted to be a mom, but I

1038
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 1: was one hundred percent certain that I knew if I didn't.

1039
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 2: Try, I would regret it that I never had this.

1040
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: So it's different because there's some people who want to

1041
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 1: be a mom no matter what you know, and if

1042
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: you're in that fertility journey and you want to be

1043
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 1: a mom no matter what. I would be open to

1044
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 1: being a mom, no matter what, no matter what it

1045
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: might look like, you know, like if you're not able

1046
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 1: to give birth your own children, to consider beyond that.

1047
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: But I was never a mom, no matter what.

1048
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 2: Girl.

1049
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 1: I remember distinctly, there's an episode where I said this

1050
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: and I just wasn't sure, but I knew, like I

1051
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: was in this weird place where it's like you kind

1052
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 1: of make how to make a choice, Tiffany, because in

1053
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: your late thirties.

1054
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 2: But I remember I was like, if I was.

1055
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: Going to have a child with anyone, Darrell Drake which

1056
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,399
Speaker 1: I could say his middle name now, which he hated.

1057
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 3: Sure, Mama, she really did it with those twins names

1058
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 3: it was.

1059
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 2: He said, why would you make up Jake because you

1060
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 2: want the name torelph to q Yo. Well, I say

1061
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 2: he hated. Right now, Darrell is like really looking down.

1062
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, sorry, Jerke's out now.

1063
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:10,959
Speaker 6: Torell and Jirell Terrell Treq and Jirell Jerree crazy work,

1064
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 6: miss Andy, you really did a number because he hated,

1065
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 6: because he was like, it's not even a real name.

1066
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 2: She's just made it up so she could have us

1067
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 2: rhyme clearly. So Jirell Jerique Smith was the only man.

1068
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: I told doctor Green, is it strange? I don't.

1069
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 1: I'm not sad that I don't have a baby right now,

1070
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 1: you know. And she said no, because one you tried.

1071
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 1: And I see now it's almost like there was a

1072
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,359
Speaker 1: seed planted that if I had not done the three

1073
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: years of IVF almost back to back, I mean, I

1074
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: wasn't traveling, I was in this.

1075
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't that I was.

1076
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: If I had not done that, I'll to be sitting

1077
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,800
Speaker 1: with so much regret right now, because I know for

1078
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 1: a fact there is nothing more. Literally, the last thing

1079
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: the doctor told me, he said, because I think I

1080
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 1: did my last it was thirty nine or forty passed

1081
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 1: away in forty one, so I was like, forty or

1082
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:05,839
Speaker 1: forty one, and he was like, this is the last

1083
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 1: viable embryo that you have to you have no more

1084
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 1: viable eggs, this.

1085
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 2: Is your last viable embryo. And I was like, oh

1086
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 2: my gosh.

1087
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 1: And they put that embryo in me in October and

1088
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 1: we prayed and we you know, we hoped that we

1089
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 1: wished and it didn't take, and then Jarrell died in November.

1090
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 1: So I literally did everything possible to have a baby,

1091
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: and so I don't live with regret, like, dang, if

1092
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: I just would have put the budget Eatha down for

1093
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: a little bit girl, you couldn't have worked.

1094
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 2: Let No, I did everything. I gave my last egg,

1095
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 2: I gave my leg, you know.

1096
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 1: And so for me, I realized that's what I needed,

1097
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 1: not necessarily that I for sure one hundred thousand percent

1098
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: wanted to be a mom, you know.

1099
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 3: So there's so much consistency in like what you're saying

1100
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 3: now and what you have said. Yeah, that's what I'm noticing,

1101
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 3: Like you've just really stayed true to the values and

1102
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 3: your version of the life that you wanted, and like

1103
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 3: the intention behind why you were making the choices you

1104
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 3: were making. I don't think this is like the kind

1105
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 3: of look back down memory lane where it's like I

1106
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 3: have fundamentally changed the way that I approach X y Z,

1107
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 3: because so much of your authenticity lies in the fact

1108
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 3: that you haven't like you will. You will go after

1109
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 3: those big business goals, but you will have those come

1110
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 3: down to earth moments where it's like wait a second,

1111
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 3: and then you won't wait. You will move forward, you know,

1112
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 3: with that intention. And we did talk about when you

1113
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 3: were like, I'm making getting pregnant like my job, not

1114
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 3: traveling all of that, And it was one of the

1115
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 3: first things I thought about after Durrell's passing was how

1116
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 3: I was like, she really did give it everything, like

1117
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 3: and I felt comforted in the same way you're talking

1118
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 3: about now, because I was like, she literally and it

1119
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 3: wasn't someone it was also it was also just about

1120
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 3: spending time with him. It wasn't just about the baby,

1121
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 3: like you were very intentional.

1122
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 1: You know this like voice you need to It was

1123
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: just this deep sense of you need to spend more

1124
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: time with your husband, so much so that I hired

1125
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:10,919
Speaker 1: a business coach and a therapist to help me create

1126
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: the space, and.

1127
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: I just was like, okay.

1128
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,839
Speaker 1: Even the same with Brian Ambition. I don't know why,

1129
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 1: but it was like, it's time to navigate it. It's

1130
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: time to leave branh Ambition. It was so crazy. I

1131
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 1: was like, wait, what, I'm not gonna lie. I was Mandy,

1132
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 1: I was when you called me. We were I was

1133
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 1: in Martha's been year. We was having this chit chat.

1134
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 1: I was just talking and laughing. I Mandy and I

1135
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: hung up.

1136
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,399
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I love Mandy. And the thing

1137
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 2: was like, it's time to leave brand Ambition. And I

1138
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 2: literally said what the hell? I literally said, and I

1139
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 2: said what happened?

1140
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 1: I remember thinking like I don't wait what and it

1141
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 1: was just like yeah, I'm like but nothing, nothing's happened.

1142
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 1: Like me and Mandy just had this great conversation. I

1143
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 1: was trying to like, is there some underlying thing? No,

1144
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: but I have learned to be obedient to the larger

1145
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:58,879
Speaker 1: thing when it tells me to move, when it tells

1146
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 1: me to stay. You know, the thing that told me

1147
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: try everything you can to have a baby. Not that

1148
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: it was going to result in a baby, but it

1149
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: was going to result in the peace of trying with

1150
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:10,919
Speaker 1: this man that you love so much that you would

1151
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: not have right now, you know. I remember distinctly when

1152
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: we Drell always said bye. He died when he was

1153
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: forty one, and he had told me I always wanted

1154
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 1: to have a house by age forty, and so we

1155
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 1: bought the house. I think, I want to say Druv

1156
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: was thirty eight thirty nine when we bought it, and

1157
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: we had finished renovating it, like when he was like forty,

1158
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: and I remember my mom was like, you guys are

1159
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: in such a rust to decorate, but I wanted everything

1160
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,799
Speaker 1: to be perfect. I did not know he was only

1161
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: going to be able to enjoy it for like a

1162
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: year and a half. And he loved that house. And

1163
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that this thing was like get the

1164
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: house together, you know. And so if you have that thing,

1165
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 1: that third man syndrome that's kind of whispering to you

1166
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 1: it's time to leave that job, or you should be

1167
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 1: considered this, or is that person really your friend, or

1168
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 1: spend more time with your kids, or like to be

1169
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 1: open to listening to whatever that thing is, because you

1170
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: don't know, like we all just assume we have time.

1171
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 3: And you just might not we don't really talk about

1172
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:13,800
Speaker 3: religion a lot. But do you call that voice God? Like,

1173
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 3: how do you?

1174
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 2: Sometimes I do, It doesn't even matter.

1175
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 3: It's just a voice, you know.

1176
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I call it like the divine.

1177
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,479
Speaker 1: I think it's just a greater source. I mean, yeah,

1178
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: I mean I sometimes for sure, honestly, sometimes I'm like,

1179
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: this is clearly God, because it'll be like it's you

1180
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 1: need to do this thing. And then sometimes it's a

1181
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: softer energy, you know. And I don't know if we

1182
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: have guardian angels.

1183
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, who knows.

1184
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 1: It could be an ancestor from the past. Sometimes the

1185
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 1: energy is softer and sometimes energy. There are there's times

1186
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 1: when I have no doubt that the energy to me

1187
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: is God when it you know, because it's so clear.

1188
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:52,759
Speaker 1: And then sometimes when it's softer, sometimes honestly God.

1189
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 2: I mean. Durell will come to me in a dream.

1190
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 2: He used to tell me this.

1191
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: He us to say sometimes his mother visits him in dreams.

1192
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, how do you know it's dream of her?

1193
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: And he said, no, I know when I'm dreaming about her.

1194
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 2: Awake up. I'm like, oh, I had a dream about

1195
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 2: my mom, he said.

1196
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 1: And sometimes I will literally sit with her in the

1197
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 1: dream and we'll talk and I'll ask her questions, and

1198
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,240
Speaker 1: I remember thinking like, huh, I've never had that experience,

1199
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: but no one ever passed away in my life that

1200
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 1: was close enough. And there are moments now where there

1201
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: are times when I will dream about Jerrelle and there

1202
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 1: are times where he will visit me in a dream

1203
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 1: where it's so clear that like this is some other

1204
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 1: thing and I am talking to him and I'm just like, Okay,

1205
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 1: So I don't know what this wife life hold and.

1206
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 2: The Divine God love, whatever you call it. I just

1207
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 2: know that there's something bigger than me.

1208
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: And I'm just open to like receiving messages because I

1209
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 1: realize now that, like you know, we're not out here

1210
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 1: by ourselves, and oftentimes those messages come from just a

1211
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: higher vantage point of more wisdom than I'm just open

1212
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: to being like, Okay, if you say it's time, then

1213
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: it's time. And when I haven't listened, like it's recathock.

1214
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 1: I got one of those lessons when it told me

1215
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 1: the time to leave preschool teaching preschool and I love

1216
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: teaching preschool, and I refuse.

1217
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 2: Actually I said, nah. It was like again time to leave.

1218
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: No no, no, and it then preached my preschool closed

1219
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 1: and left me with nothing, and I lost my condo

1220
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: and I lost my car, and I.

1221
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: Was like, damn, I should have left, one said, because

1222
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 2: I could.

1223
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 1: Have left with money saved and things, you know, And

1224
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: so that was kind of like my first lesson of

1225
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 1: listening and obedience and alignment.

1226
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 3: You know that you know that you're never even to

1227
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 3: like slow down and then to share it and to

1228
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 3: a lot of times, at least for me, that's one

1229
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 3: of the reasons I journal is because it slows my

1230
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 3: brain down and I can kind of get to a

1231
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 3: feeling or a clarity. But you have to be in

1232
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 3: a headspace, like you have to be willing just to

1233
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 3: just to sort of like surrender almost surrender to the

1234
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,919
Speaker 3: fact that the answer may not be what you thought

1235
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 3: it would be yes or wanted it.

1236
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: Why nothing's wrong, everything's good this person of the day,

1237
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: you're like, because not realizing that, like there's a bigger

1238
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 1: thing happening that you need to be positioned for. It's

1239
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: not the loss of something, it's to being able to

1240
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 1: have the space to receive this other thing.

1241
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 3: And you're like, okay, so yeah, wow, Okay, I I

1242
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 3: know that. I know if I'm looking at the clock

1243
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I don't care, I'm taking every last minute.

1244
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 3: It's funny how you just answer the questions I was

1245
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 3: going to ask anyway. I was going to like, what

1246
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 3: would you say to someone building that personal brand today

1247
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 3: and any advice, And it feels like it's like that

1248
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 3: can be a huge asset if leveraged the right way.

1249
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 3: And I also hear that to get to that nine

1250
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 3: those steps, it's like every step beneath that builds you

1251
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 3: up to the stage where networking can be so powerful. Yes,

1252
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 3: it doesn't necessarily happen unless you are like building strategically,

1253
00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 3: but the budget.

1254
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: Let's me go into those rooms to be clear that

1255
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 1: if I had not started, you know, in that way,

1256
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: it's like who you you know?

1257
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 2: So no I don't, I don't.

1258
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that Tiffany using her personality, you

1259
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 1: know that I am allowed to go into these rooms because.

1260
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 2: People are like, oh, yes, yes, yes, i know I've

1261
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 2: heard of you. And then it allows you to to

1262
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 2: do that work.

1263
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 3: But you know, literally just got an email today, Tiffany,

1264
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 3: I was gonna afford it too. It was like from

1265
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 3: a sponsor that my manager was reaching out to in anyway. Literally,

1266
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 3: the email was Mandy's smaller than most of the influences

1267
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,920
Speaker 3: we work with, so we're going to pass for now.

1268
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's true, that your platform is an asset,

1269
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 3: and it's like, that's the drive to build Bill Bilder.

1270
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 2: Please let me tell you something. People still be hitting

1271
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 2: up with it. We got fifteen hundred dollars. We ain't

1272
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 2: got no money like I think. I just let's let's

1273
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 2: be clear. I love you. I just did a post

1274
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 2: about this the other day.

1275
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 1: She was like, Uh, if you want to speak at

1276
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,080
Speaker 1: your conference and you talk about you got five thousand dollars,

1277
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 1: please don't reach out.

1278
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 2: That is very common. I get reached out to four

1279
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:00,800
Speaker 2: or five times a.

1280
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 1: Week, and I would say eighty percent of the budgets

1281
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 1: are under five thousand dollars. So the audacity is still brewery,

1282
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: Like it's the girls are like, just saw you in

1283
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 1: today's show, So for two dollars it's of peanuts.

1284
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 2: Could you come out? And so don't. I don't want

1285
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 2: anybody to feel bad that that still happens. And you know,

1286
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 2: I'm just like, obviously, well, even with the massive.

1287
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, please, I don't you know. And I will say

1288
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: this because I have a mentee. He has a mass.

1289
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,440
Speaker 1: She has a massive, massive, probably like ten times the

1290
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 1: size of my platform.

1291
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 2: And guess what she is.

1292
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 1: And I had told her this when I met her

1293
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 1: two years ago. I said, girl, I know right now

1294
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 1: you have it a good time. I can see you

1295
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 1: have it a good time. Slow down, slow down and

1296
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 1: build the thing that's going to take over when you

1297
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: don't want to dance for a dollar anymore, because you're

1298
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 1: not gonna want it. She's like, oh no, no, no,

1299
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 1: I want to get to twenty million dollars. I said,

1300
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: before you get there, I promise you you're going to

1301
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 1: burn out, and if you don't have that thing in place,

1302
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 1: then you're going to have to build that thing during burnout.

1303
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: She didn't listen because she's young, in her twenties, and

1304
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 1: so now she's building during burnout, of building thing that

1305
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 1: will take the place to make the money because she

1306
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 1: doesn't want to dance for a dollar. And so if

1307
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 1: there is one big piece of advice I can tell

1308
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: to business owners who building personality brands is to you know,

1309
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 1: build your personality brand, but save twenty percent of your

1310
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 1: energy to build the thing, build your tool, your product,

1311
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,400
Speaker 1: your resources that you're going to have in place when

1312
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 1: you want to take a step back. So you are

1313
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 1: exactly where you're supposed to be and further along than

1314
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 1: most I told you that you are. It took me

1315
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 1: years to get to where you're getting now, you know,

1316
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 1: because I didn't know, like, oh, I should be building something.

1317
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 1: I didn't build the literature Academy till like year seven

1318
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 1: of the Budgetista. You're seven, you know you started building

1319
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 1: both simultaneously.

1320
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 3: So yeah, well I had a bit of a I

1321
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 3: had a bit of a benefit getting to get warmed

1322
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 3: by your glow and.

1323
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 2: Your life all these years make it like I pe

1324
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 2: on you warmed by my glove.

1325
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 3: This is not at all what anyone was thinking about.

1326
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 3: I was going to go back to the seedling. I'm

1327
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 3: a seedling, and I wasn't your light helped me grow?

1328
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 3: My God, I thought I was gonna like cry during

1329
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 3: this episode, But it's just been so fun.

1330
01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:10,919
Speaker 1: Ah.

1331
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 3: I love walking down. I love you too. I forgot

1332
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 3: to be sex. I was having so much fun. That's

1333
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 3: brown ambition in a nutshell, But I'm glad this was

1334
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 3: fun to look back and to just like walk down

1335
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 3: and you know, I know you did most of the

1336
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 3: enlightening and sharing, but really I just wanted to acknowledge how,

1337
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 3: for how many years you have been gracing us with

1338
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 3: this wit and wisdom and honesty and candor and transparency,

1339
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 3: and how it's going to be so different without you.

1340
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 3: And I'm just so grateful for the time that we

1341
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 3: have had together. And I'm like, oh, did I really

1342
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 3: take it? Did I really like, you know, enjoy it

1343
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 3: and live in the moment and recognize what how special

1344
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 3: was at the time. And I'm like, yeah, I knew

1345
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: it was special all along, but still it's nice to

1346
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 3: go back. I can reflect, Yeah, that wasn't too painful

1347
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 3: for you, No, it was great, honestly, like raggedy underwear,

1348
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 3: you know me, I don't talk about to mention the pandemic,

1349
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 3: the Black Lives Matter movement, like the life we have lived.

1350
01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 2: I know, we have really lived.

1351
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: Like one day when the aliens come and they're gonna

1352
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 1: be like, hmmm, a snapshot of black brown life and

1353
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:27,440
Speaker 1: say like, oh yeah, for real, Like we literally we

1354
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: have this amazing cross section where you can just see growth.

1355
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 1: So I'm just really grateful and I have enjoyed it

1356
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 1: here and it was not my intention. It just was like,

1357
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:41,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's time, because i can feel it

1358
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 1: like it's time, and I'm not really sure why there's

1359
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,160
Speaker 1: like nothing cued up. I'm just kind of like, oh, okay,

1360
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:50,720
Speaker 1: and I'm just listening and I've learned not to listen.

1361
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:51,640
Speaker 3: It's way worse.

1362
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 2: And so but I'm excited because it's also the Broada

1363
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 2: mission continues. That part was very clear to me. It

1364
01:04:58,480 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 2: wasn't like I'm leaving and it closed.

1365
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 1: That was always like no, no, no, that I'm transitioning

1366
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 1: and brown and mission transitions forward, and so I'm excited

1367
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:06,200
Speaker 1: to see.

1368
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 2: Like what you do with it.

1369
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 3: Not a perfect segue into our next episode, you guys,

1370
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 3: stay tuned because part two of the series, Tiffany's eras

1371
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 3: Tiffany's Legacy, We're going to be looking forward and actually

1372
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 3: taking some time to think about what could be next

1373
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,680
Speaker 3: and answer some of y'all's questions even if we can't

1374
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 3: answer it fully and just talk about the future. But

1375
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 3: this was fun looking backward and how it'll inform our

1376
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:36,600
Speaker 3: next steps together. So Ba fam, we love you so much.

1377
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 3: Take some time to leave a review if you've already

1378
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 3: left one, Just update it. Let Tiffany know how much

1379
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 3: you love her. You can DM us at Bran and

1380
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:47,840
Speaker 3: Mission podcast on ig. You can email us your well

1381
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 3: wishes for Tiffany Brownimbission Podcast at gmail dot com, dot

1382
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 3: com dot com.

1383
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:55,040
Speaker 2: I'm glat Expedia.

1384
01:05:55,120 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 3: Never like sue us. Alright, the a VM Bye bye