WEBVTT - “Lewis Howes Part 1: Creating New Belief Systems”

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to the podcast. Fred Hey, and this is

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<v Speaker 1>one moan about drama.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very excited, very special, very special episode for us.

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<v Speaker 1>We were going to do it in a very refreshing

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<v Speaker 1>new start in the show.

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<v Speaker 2>But Freddy, expectively, you know, has started our episode officially,

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<v Speaker 2>so because we're talking.

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<v Speaker 1>Man, yes, I know he's dropping the jewels. Man, I

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<v Speaker 1>gotta get it on camera.

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<v Speaker 2>Well as you know, Uh, those Amigos is not technically

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<v Speaker 2>a show where you know, it's like you know, it's

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<v Speaker 2>not it's not it's not heavy relighting on on the

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<v Speaker 2>stories of of our guests.

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<v Speaker 1>We were kind of explored so much of our lives.

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<v Speaker 2>But in the conversation of our lives, yes, certain individuals

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<v Speaker 2>have popped up and we're like, I ever had someone

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<v Speaker 2>on this show. I had to be Yeah, this man

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<v Speaker 2>right here, know and I'm sorry. I want to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to introduce Lewis House, one of the most

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<v Speaker 2>uh just a prolific voices of inspiration.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, what are you going going to?

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<v Speaker 3>How many years now twelve years.

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<v Speaker 2>Of twelve years of podcasting?

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<v Speaker 1>You know your lunch? I mean multiple books? How many

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<v Speaker 1>books now?

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<v Speaker 3>Five?

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<v Speaker 1>Five books?

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<v Speaker 2>And uh he he's someone that is very important to me.

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<v Speaker 1>We've we've done a pretty.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, pretty intensive uh we've done our best with the

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<v Speaker 2>lives that we've had to stay connected and soultly connected

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<v Speaker 2>in the energy.

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<v Speaker 1>We absolutely have to do better to the end person.

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<v Speaker 2>But our lives have taken so many different place, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>to so many different places. And I was just excited,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, when I was talking New Freddy about about you,

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<v Speaker 2>I just wanted to start by saying that, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you started out exploring some of the greatest minds that

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<v Speaker 2>have inspired the plan on it have inspired different sectors

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<v Speaker 2>of our worlds and interests, from sports to business, to

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<v Speaker 2>entertainment to the spiritual world, you know, and all that.

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<v Speaker 2>And and I was telling him many years ago that

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<v Speaker 2>for me, the more I watched everything he did, the

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<v Speaker 2>more I realized that the attention went from some of

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<v Speaker 2>the amazing voices that he was carrying on his show

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<v Speaker 2>to like, what does he think his perspective perspective because

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<v Speaker 2>he's been able to really summerse himself in so many philosophies,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, we're very big in philosophy over here,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, so for us was very excited to kind

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<v Speaker 2>of explore that and to basically you know, in many ways.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's give you, give you your flowers. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you Bob lifted. You've changed so many people's lives. You've

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<v Speaker 2>inspired so many people to shade their own selves and

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<v Speaker 2>become better versions of themselves. And you have had your

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<v Speaker 2>own transformative process too, you know. And I think in

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<v Speaker 2>the process of hearing all this wisdom, applying it to

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<v Speaker 2>your life and understanding we're all going to make the mistakes,

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<v Speaker 2>We're all gonna have an appeal battle with certain things

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<v Speaker 2>that you know match or not match other people's journeys.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's what you take from it. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I literally texted him two seconds He says, yes, what time,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, okay, fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Up, and I just uh so, first and foremost, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a very informal conversation about inspiration and things like that,

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<v Speaker 2>but also kind of like our.

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<v Speaker 1>Way to, you know, to to say thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I appreciate it for the stuff that you've

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<v Speaker 2>done for so many communities.

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<v Speaker 3>And Puppy can go yeah, almost that's the new podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>One thing I appreciate about you, and hopefully we'll get

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<v Speaker 4>to connect more for it in the future, buddy, even

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<v Speaker 4>though you're so busy doing all the projects that you're

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<v Speaker 4>doing and fatherhood, married, all these different things. We unfortunately

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<v Speaker 4>we haven't seen each other that frequently, but when we do,

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<v Speaker 4>we go really deep, so it feels like a strong

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<v Speaker 4>bond and it feels like I just saw you, even

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<v Speaker 4>though it was a couple of years ago.

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<v Speaker 3>We text, we call, but it's like seeing each other.

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<v Speaker 4>It just feels like I just saw you because of

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<v Speaker 4>that bond that we go deep.

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<v Speaker 3>When we do talk and I do pick.

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<v Speaker 2>Up or we left off, it's it's still just as

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<v Speaker 2>you know, as as as profound you know, and uh

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<v Speaker 2>and you know you you really and I and I

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<v Speaker 2>don't say this often at all, and you know, many

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<v Speaker 2>fifteen plus episodes so far and you know more, you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't really said this, but there's very very few individuals

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<v Speaker 2>at at the meeting have stayed with me in such

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<v Speaker 2>a philosophical in such an insightful way. And your honesty,

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<v Speaker 2>your energy, your way, your heart is open, and we're

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<v Speaker 2>going to explore so many of those things today in

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<v Speaker 2>this conversation and really understanding you know, the the where

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<v Speaker 2>you came from, where you were, you know, and how

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<v Speaker 2>you got here because it's so important for us to

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<v Speaker 2>really humanize you know, you know that destination.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyways, Freddy, you have any and to understand the journey.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, but before we started the show, we realized that

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<v Speaker 5>we're both too Midwest guys.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>We were just kind of talking about the values Midwest

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<v Speaker 5>values and the way that we roll speak.

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<v Speaker 3>To everyone in line.

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<v Speaker 5>It's a very specific thing, yes, yes, that time, Like

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<v Speaker 5>you know, you got East Coast people, you got West

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<v Speaker 5>Coast people, but there's something very specific about Midwest.

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<v Speaker 1>And when when he said that, I was like, ah, okay, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we're speaking the same language. So you were born in Ohio.

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<v Speaker 3>Small town, Delaware, Ohio.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, in Delaware, Ohio.

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<v Speaker 3>And so what I lived in the Northwest suburbs for

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<v Speaker 3>a summer. Okay, in Chicago, you did.

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<v Speaker 4>I lived in Northwest suburbs. Yeah, where about Arlington Heights Okay?

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<v Speaker 4>And I played college football there a few Diman times

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<v Speaker 4>where it was a Naperville.

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<v Speaker 3>I played a playoff game there. So I've been around Chicago.

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<v Speaker 4>I've been to Wrigley games and the bleachers, shirt off,

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<v Speaker 4>the whole thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Nice man and so.

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<v Speaker 4>Waste of Chicago. Fourth of July, Taste of Chicago, all

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<v Speaker 4>that stuff I lived.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm I'm I'm going to start this off by saying,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm a fan. Okay, I've watched your stuff in the past,

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<v Speaker 5>and I've been really intrigued about your trajectory and where

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<v Speaker 5>you started and where you out now. I was just

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<v Speaker 5>out right before we got here, I was watching some

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<v Speaker 5>of your latest episodes and us being too Midwest. It's

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<v Speaker 5>like you all of a sudden interviewing people like a monk,

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<v Speaker 5>or like Billy Carson, or.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, like, what's that trajectory?

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<v Speaker 5>Like how do you go from being a kid like

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<v Speaker 5>me from the Midwest, right with those particular values and

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<v Speaker 5>those particular mindsets, right? And you know what I mean

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<v Speaker 5>by sure, right to expanding your brain that way and

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<v Speaker 5>interviewing people like that.

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<v Speaker 4>I lived with a lot of insecurity and my first

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<v Speaker 4>my first core memories. One of my earliest memory, I

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<v Speaker 4>think I've told you this, I've told them to my

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<v Speaker 4>show many times, was being sexually abused by a man

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<v Speaker 4>that I didn't know.

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<v Speaker 3>So that was where.

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<v Speaker 4>My my brain developed with this is the world, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>and this is something that happened to me.

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<v Speaker 3>So therefore I'm unlovable.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm abusable, I'm taken for granted, I'm used all these

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<v Speaker 4>different things. So that's what like shaped in my brain

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<v Speaker 4>when I was eight until I was five. When I

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<v Speaker 4>was eight, my brother went to prison for selling drugs

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<v Speaker 4>to an undercover cop small town, Ohio. This stuff didn't

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<v Speaker 4>happen in like a small kind of middle class, mostly white,

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<v Speaker 4>suburban neighborhood, and so I didn't know anyone that went

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<v Speaker 4>to prison.

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<v Speaker 3>So my brother's eleven years older than me.

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<v Speaker 4>I was eight, he was nineteen, and it was an

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<v Speaker 4>undercover cop that caught him asking him for LSD and

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<v Speaker 4>he was like just kind of like buying a little

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<v Speaker 4>weed back in the day in college. He was like,

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know how to get it, but they kept

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<v Speaker 4>pushing it, and so he was like, well, let me

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<v Speaker 4>go ask someone and ask someone and then found it out.

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<v Speaker 4>So he went to prison, sentenced six to twenty five

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<v Speaker 4>years because it was the war against drugs back in

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<v Speaker 4>the early nineties, and he got off for four and

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<v Speaker 4>a half in good behavior. But it marked my brain,

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<v Speaker 4>in my family's brains, and the emotions, the stress, the fear,

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<v Speaker 4>the drama, the guilt, shame, all that stuff was mixed up,

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<v Speaker 4>and my parents. They loved us kids. I was the

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<v Speaker 4>youngest of four, but they didn't love each other, so

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<v Speaker 4>they didn't show love. So I was telling you before,

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, I never saw myself getting married because

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<v Speaker 4>I never felt safe emotionally in a relationship. So that's

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<v Speaker 4>then there's multiple instances where I just never felt enough.

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<v Speaker 4>I was in the bottom of my class all through school,

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<v Speaker 4>so I just felt very insecure for most of my

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<v Speaker 4>childhood and very emotionally. My nervous system was always kind

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<v Speaker 4>of in fire or flight. Yeah, and that just shaped

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<v Speaker 4>a belief system in me, and that belief system, whatever

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<v Speaker 4>we have, shapes and influences our behaviors. So I behaved

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<v Speaker 4>in a way that was very anxious. I behaved in

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<v Speaker 4>a way where I clinged on to people. I would

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<v Speaker 4>change who I was to please people because I wanted

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<v Speaker 4>to feel safe and secure, and I chased things to

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<v Speaker 4>seek approval. I chased you know, being good in sports,

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<v Speaker 4>making money, girls, whatever it was, because my belief system was, Okay,

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<v Speaker 4>you're not good enough, you're unlovable, and people take advantage

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<v Speaker 4>of you.

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<v Speaker 3>So my behavior has just matched my beliefs. That's what

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<v Speaker 3>we all do.

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<v Speaker 4>Our beliefs influence our behaviors, and our beliefs are formed

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<v Speaker 4>on our the meaning we give our memories. So the

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<v Speaker 4>memories I had for twenty five years, I imagined myself

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<v Speaker 4>being sexually abused.

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<v Speaker 3>In a bathroom by a guy that I didn't know.

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<v Speaker 4>It was just kind of like a movie playing that

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<v Speaker 4>I would just try to block and then focus on

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<v Speaker 4>something else, but it was always coming up, and that

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<v Speaker 4>interpretation of the event, the memory created a sense of

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<v Speaker 4>fear within my body. My nervous system was emotionally charged

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<v Speaker 4>and not heightened. And again that interpretation. Until I mend

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<v Speaker 4>or heal that memory, that's going to live inside of

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<v Speaker 4>me and it's going to shape my beliefs, what's going

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<v Speaker 4>to influence my behaviors, which is going to create.

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<v Speaker 3>My environment in my reality.

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<v Speaker 4>You have stuff from childhood, if you've healed it or

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<v Speaker 4>you haven't, it shaped you from being married to the

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<v Speaker 4>person you're married to, from moving to LA for whatever

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<v Speaker 4>reason you moved to LA, and maybe it was because

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<v Speaker 4>you had a dream, or maybe it's because you felt

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<v Speaker 4>you need to prove something. Either way, it shaped you

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<v Speaker 4>getting here. And it doesn't mean it's right or wrong,

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<v Speaker 4>good or bad. It's just that's the result of our environment.

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<v Speaker 4>You were talking about this before we started rolling. I

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<v Speaker 4>was like, how are all the projects going? And you're like,

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<v Speaker 4>it's good, but and you said, oh, I have to

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<v Speaker 4>notice even just saying it's good, it's not where I

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<v Speaker 4>want it to be.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm reflecting that.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just responding that it's good because I have an

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<v Speaker 4>expectation that the amount of effort I put in should

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<v Speaker 4>be getting me a certain type of result based on

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<v Speaker 4>a comparison of what I've already had before, based on

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<v Speaker 4>where I'm out of my career and how successful I am,

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<v Speaker 4>or how people perceive me.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just making this no.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's actually because you're right that question triggered the.

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<v Speaker 4>This friend is doing this and it looks effortless and

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<v Speaker 4>he's everywhere she's.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't. Definitely.

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<v Speaker 2>That's one thing that I feel really healthy about is

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<v Speaker 2>I've never compared myself to somebody else's success. But to

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<v Speaker 2>your point, is I am comparing the success based on

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<v Speaker 2>the image of what I feel that would be. And

0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.760
<v Speaker 2>I think for entrepreneurs and people's way them vision, but

0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.000
<v Speaker 2>am vision is is.

0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:31.400
<v Speaker 1>Very hard to have a feel.

0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 2>We got there right, right, and I think the uh

0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:36.600
<v Speaker 2>so when you ask the question, one of the things

0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.040
<v Speaker 2>to your point, and very very intuitive by the way,

0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.360
<v Speaker 2>that's louis housing if.

0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:42.280
<v Speaker 1>You're tuning in right now.

0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:49.040
<v Speaker 2>The it's is the ability to say, Okay, if I'm

0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:53.080
<v Speaker 2>going to be honest, I'm not going to give someone

0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 2>that I respect and admire and love so much the

0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 2>answer is like.

0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.240
<v Speaker 1>Everything's doing really good, really great.

0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:00.120
<v Speaker 3>How are you?

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:04.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna be like, it's good.

0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:08.640
<v Speaker 2>You know, there is just a couple of imbalances, right,

0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 2>and I have to recognize those imbalances in order for

0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.480
<v Speaker 2>me to more efficient about the next go around exactly.

0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:16.240
<v Speaker 1>And so that's like, so that's why.

0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:19.480
<v Speaker 2>And to your point, it does bring up things from

0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 2>the past, like where have I felt that I have

0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:23.080
<v Speaker 2>not done enough?

0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.719
<v Speaker 1>And now I'm doing all of it and more and

0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:27.320
<v Speaker 1>it's still not enough.

0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:27.640
<v Speaker 3>Right.

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.160
<v Speaker 5>So yeah, but it's but it's bringing up those negative imbalances.

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.240
<v Speaker 5>Is that projecting bad energy.

0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.480
<v Speaker 3>Is what specifically projecting bad energy is.

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.840
<v Speaker 5>You know, we talk about manifestation and we talk about

0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:44.360
<v Speaker 5>projecting good energy. I mean, it's it's not like lying,

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.320
<v Speaker 5>but it's like and this is it is me digging

0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 5>more into like what I've been seeing you do lately

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:54.440
<v Speaker 5>is is wie. We're being honest about what's not positive?

0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.080
<v Speaker 5>Is that a good or a bad thing? Because by

0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:01.480
<v Speaker 5>you projecting that it's bad, you are then projecting that

0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 5>bad energy, So.

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 3>Is that bad?

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.760
<v Speaker 4>A lot of my yeah, a lot of my thinking

0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:09.800
<v Speaker 4>is more around not is what is right or wrong,

0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:10.440
<v Speaker 4>good or bad?

0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.400
<v Speaker 3>Because that's a very judgmental way of thinking.

0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.360
<v Speaker 4>And again even that is not right or wrong, good

0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.240
<v Speaker 4>or bad, But it's not saying is what he's saying

0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:21.680
<v Speaker 4>good or bad? By reflecting that way, I'm thinking more,

0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:23.760
<v Speaker 4>is it serving him in this moment?

0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.079
<v Speaker 3>Is that way of responding thinking serving him?

0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 4>And it sounds like he's being authentic and in alignment

0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:34.719
<v Speaker 4>with how he's feeling, so saying it's good.

0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.079
<v Speaker 3>It's not where I wanted to be, but it's good.

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.560
<v Speaker 4>It's serving because it's in alignment with who he is

0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:42.040
<v Speaker 4>right now, just being honest. Now, some people in his

0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.840
<v Speaker 4>position might be saying, I am the effort I'm putting

0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.160
<v Speaker 4>out there is getting a certain type of results.

0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.480
<v Speaker 3>Sure do, I wish it was bigger. I had a

0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:51.400
<v Speaker 3>book that just came out.

0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.520
<v Speaker 4>Sure do I wish I had tens of thousands more

0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:58.160
<v Speaker 4>copies sold, of course, and I can still be grateful

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 4>for the impact that I'm making with you out of

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.240
<v Speaker 4>sales that I've had and the success that the Scott

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.080
<v Speaker 4>and the people that came out of whatever it is.

0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.400
<v Speaker 4>It's like the amount of people that are watching on TV.

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:08.480
<v Speaker 4>Sure we want it to be the number one show,

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.240
<v Speaker 4>but it's the number three show or whatever it is.

0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.800
<v Speaker 4>But still, man, I'm living my dreams. I live in

0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.440
<v Speaker 4>a beautiful home. My daughter is a sleeping another room.

0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:20.360
<v Speaker 4>I got my friends and family here. I'm having a

0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.120
<v Speaker 4>conversation with dos Amigos so popp BEGINNINGO.

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 3>And I'm healthy. I get to even though I wake

0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.800
<v Speaker 3>up at five am. I get to train every single day.

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:33.600
<v Speaker 3>What a blessing.

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.080
<v Speaker 4>So I think it's perspective and it doesn't mean we

0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.840
<v Speaker 4>can't be striving for more. But it's just striving for

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 4>more because I'm not good enough, or I'm beating myself up,

0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:45.880
<v Speaker 4>or I need to prove something wrong to the bullies

0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.440
<v Speaker 4>that picked on me all through middle school or whatever,

0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:50.720
<v Speaker 4>or the person who abused me or whatever it is.

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.640
<v Speaker 4>For so much in my life, I was driven to

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 4>prove people wrong and to show people why I'm lovable,

0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:01.800
<v Speaker 4>and it was just an unconscious like thing. It wasn't

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.320
<v Speaker 4>like I was consciously like, I'm gonna do this every

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.000
<v Speaker 4>single day and work my asshole, you know, and train

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.320
<v Speaker 4>and show up and do these things because of those

0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:10.400
<v Speaker 4>four kids have made fun of me.

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't like was.

0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 2>There a moment, a conversation or an instance where you saw, oh,

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.480
<v Speaker 2>I just cracked it and now I'm looking within and

0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.080
<v Speaker 2>that's enough, Like is there you know, especially when you're

0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.120
<v Speaker 2>saying like I'm seeking approval, I'm seeking you know, I'm

0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.960
<v Speaker 2>going in my mind, I'm still going against the bully's Like,

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.560
<v Speaker 2>is there a moment that cracked the ice and you

0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.280
<v Speaker 2>were like, oh, I think I can follow that correct.

0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.040
<v Speaker 5>Because you were saying it's unconscious, So when when does

0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.960
<v Speaker 5>it become conscious? When do you go, oh, man, I'm

0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.120
<v Speaker 5>a I don't know, as people please you're the right

0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 5>terminology or like.

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.800
<v Speaker 4>Percent people pleaser yeah, or people prove her. It was

0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 4>like trying to prove people wrong or please people to

0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 4>like fit in right. So it was a combination of

0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 4>all the mixed up emotions and all the traumas, right,

0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:54.800
<v Speaker 4>I think there was there was a number of different

0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.720
<v Speaker 4>moments in my journey over the last ten twelve years

0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 4>of the healing journey, because it's not a moment. There's

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:05.320
<v Speaker 4>a moment of AHA, but there's usually a process of

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.680
<v Speaker 4>integration and then a follow through once you get the

0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:13.480
<v Speaker 4>aha of your nervous system feeling relaxed when it's emotionally

0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:17.200
<v Speaker 4>or psychologically triggered in the future, so we can be

0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:18.440
<v Speaker 4>we're tested every day.

0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.200
<v Speaker 3>You know. It's like the traffic I'm here.

0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.960
<v Speaker 4>If I had anger inside of me, I would have

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:25.800
<v Speaker 4>been enraged, because I haven't inside of me still any

0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:28.200
<v Speaker 4>in a little trigger, it's going to come out of me,

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.640
<v Speaker 4>but it's peaceful and I know I'm coming to see him,

0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 4>so I'm not upset about it. There was a moment

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 4>four years ago where I was going through a challenging

0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:40.240
<v Speaker 4>time and a breakup, where I was in a relationship

0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.800
<v Speaker 4>trying to figure out how to navigate it, trying to

0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:43.520
<v Speaker 4>figure out how.

0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:44.880
<v Speaker 3>To make it work, and it wasn't working. For like

0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:45.840
<v Speaker 3>a year year and a half.

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.600
<v Speaker 4>We started doing therapy individually and together, and we weren't

0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.960
<v Speaker 4>getting breakthroughs. It was like six to eight hour sessions

0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.640
<v Speaker 4>on the weekends and no breakthrough and I felt like

0:16:56.680 --> 0:17:00.560
<v Speaker 4>I had changed and transformed and reinvented and people pleased

0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 4>to my limit. And that had been a pattern of

0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.760
<v Speaker 4>mine in intimacy with multiple relationships, and it all stems

0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:12.720
<v Speaker 4>from a belief around these core wounds from my parents

0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 4>getting divorced but just never really should have been together

0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:20.400
<v Speaker 4>in the first place, and having these kind of psychological

0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.040
<v Speaker 4>emotional wounds that I had from previous relationships.

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.720
<v Speaker 3>Not saying that I was perfect or anything, just my

0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:26.360
<v Speaker 3>own beliefs.

0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:29.639
<v Speaker 4>And there was a moment where I had this chest

0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:31.840
<v Speaker 4>pain for years that would come and go and it

0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.040
<v Speaker 4>was almost felt like someone was strangling me. I don't

0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:36.080
<v Speaker 4>know if you ever held this just some life. It

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 4>was almost like I couldn't speak, like someone had their

0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:41.119
<v Speaker 4>arm around my throat. It was like a weight of

0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:45.840
<v Speaker 4>ball in my chest that would come and go in relationships.

0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:51.560
<v Speaker 4>And this was here during this couple year relationship. And

0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:55.760
<v Speaker 4>at one point in a therapy session, it's like my

0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:58.960
<v Speaker 4>coach said something to me. After six months of going

0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.760
<v Speaker 4>through processing, she says something to me, and it was

0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.240
<v Speaker 4>like I finally got it, and I never felt this

0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.520
<v Speaker 4>before in my life, but this pain, it was a

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 4>ball of pain in my chest it's almost like it

0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:16.440
<v Speaker 4>exploded internally. It felt like a rush of fluid throughout

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.520
<v Speaker 4>my whole body. I thought I did something to hurt

0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:21.800
<v Speaker 4>myself because it was a rush of fluid throughout my body.

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.520
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know what it was and I had to

0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:27.280
<v Speaker 4>really stop in the session. But I haven't felt that

0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:31.560
<v Speaker 4>pain since. Wow, it's been four years, and I felt

0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.520
<v Speaker 4>more peace within my body, and I feel like that's

0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:38.320
<v Speaker 4>my nervous system feeling like the adult version of me

0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:40.720
<v Speaker 4>finally said.

0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.320
<v Speaker 3>To the young version of me, I got you.

0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:48.399
<v Speaker 4>I'm not going to allow anyone to cross boundaries anymore.

0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 4>And it's like the littlest boundaries to the biggest boundaries.

0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.480
<v Speaker 4>And it doesn't mean I need to react and be

0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:58.199
<v Speaker 4>this big tough guy to create a boundary. It's just

0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.400
<v Speaker 4>learning to say no, or learning to say I can't

0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:03.920
<v Speaker 4>show up for you and do this, or just saying no,

0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 4>I can't promote whatever. It is just learning to say

0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.720
<v Speaker 4>no and being okay with people reacting how they want

0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:10.080
<v Speaker 4>to react.

0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.880
<v Speaker 5>And can you share what the therapist said to you.

0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:13.480
<v Speaker 1>That made you.

0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.119
<v Speaker 4>I think I'm trying to remember the exact thing, but

0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:19.320
<v Speaker 4>I was exercise it. There was multiple exercises, but there

0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:23.760
<v Speaker 4>was there was a moment where I was like, I

0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:25.560
<v Speaker 4>just want to be done with this relationship.

0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 3>I was just like, I just want to be done,

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:29.600
<v Speaker 3>and we were doing.

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.440
<v Speaker 4>Sessions and I remember saying like, I think I want

0:19:31.440 --> 0:19:34.400
<v Speaker 4>to end it right now, and she said, you can

0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:35.200
<v Speaker 4>do whatever you want.

0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:36.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm not advising you what to do.

0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:42.520
<v Speaker 4>But if you haven't felt peace within you and you

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.359
<v Speaker 4>just run away from the situation without creating that peace

0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:50.640
<v Speaker 4>and safety within you, you're likely to reattract a similar

0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:52.240
<v Speaker 4>experience and you're eventually going.

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.080
<v Speaker 3>To have to find a way to create peace within you.

0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 4>So I recommend being in the relationship and creating the

0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:03.240
<v Speaker 4>boundaries in the real relationship. Then you'll know when the

0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:05.439
<v Speaker 4>right time is if you're meant to be together or not.

0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.359
<v Speaker 4>She wasn't trying to tell me what to do, and

0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:10.840
<v Speaker 4>classic coach right, it's I'm giving.

0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:12.480
<v Speaker 3>You the answers.

0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:16.239
<v Speaker 4>And then so maybe a few weeks after that, I

0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:20.400
<v Speaker 4>was creating all these boundaries in the relationship, and then

0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.560
<v Speaker 4>I've talked to you about this stuff before and then

0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:26.639
<v Speaker 4>getting the explosive reactions that I was used to and

0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:28.640
<v Speaker 4>just saying I don't need to do anything I don't

0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.399
<v Speaker 4>need to change who I am. Give me the silent

0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:33.239
<v Speaker 4>treatment for three days. I'm not going to go in

0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.360
<v Speaker 4>and fix it. I'm going to create MySpace and say

0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 4>I'm here to talk when you're ready to talk. All

0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 4>these different things, like I was creating these boundaries for

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.359
<v Speaker 4>the next few weeks to where I was like, oh,

0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:46.159
<v Speaker 4>I'm I'm okay even if this person doesn't love me,

0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:51.119
<v Speaker 4>because I'm learning to love myself. And intimacy was a

0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:53.080
<v Speaker 4>challenging thing for me just because I didn't have the

0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:55.080
<v Speaker 4>model or the tools on how to do that, because

0:20:55.240 --> 0:20:57.840
<v Speaker 4>my belief system was shaped in a way that was

0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:03.119
<v Speaker 4>very like just unstable, wasn't in alignment, and so I

0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:07.720
<v Speaker 4>was always seeking love and then people please to keep

0:21:07.720 --> 0:21:08.320
<v Speaker 4>the love because I.

0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 3>Didn't want them to be upset at me.

0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:12.440
<v Speaker 4>Anytime you're upset to me, I was like, ah, don't

0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:13.840
<v Speaker 4>leave me or don't be mad at me.

0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 3>So that I would cross my own boundary, I would

0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:17.159
<v Speaker 3>not be there for me.

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.960
<v Speaker 4>And so the little boy inside of me was screaming

0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:27.920
<v Speaker 4>at me through ezema, through your chest pain, through feeling stranged,

0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:30.200
<v Speaker 4>like I'm not using my voice.

0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:32.800
<v Speaker 5>So so the boundary you felt it was all me

0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:38.000
<v Speaker 5>your decision to to.

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.840
<v Speaker 4>Make a boundary, boundaries you over and over again, and

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:42.600
<v Speaker 4>then she said something to me because I was just like,

0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:44.080
<v Speaker 4>I just want peace in my life.

0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:46.680
<v Speaker 3>And she looked at me and she said, you are peace.

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:50.000
<v Speaker 3>You have to you have to own peace.

0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:54.960
<v Speaker 4>You can't you can't create, you can't give in to something.

0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:59.600
<v Speaker 4>To have peace. You have to be piece, be peace.

0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:01.919
<v Speaker 4>And she just kept saying, over and over again, you

0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:02.440
<v Speaker 4>are piece.

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:07.080
<v Speaker 2>There's something there's something so empowering about saying I'm gonna

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:12.120
<v Speaker 2>meet you. I'm just not gonna meet you there, right right,

0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:18.320
<v Speaker 2>most oftentimes we shake the inability for us to to

0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:23.920
<v Speaker 2>act within our strengths. And when we perform or try

0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:27.640
<v Speaker 2>to make reason within our weaknesses, that's where you open

0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:31.040
<v Speaker 2>the door for control. Somebody can really control those emotions

0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:33.160
<v Speaker 2>because they know they can get you up in that frequency.

0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:33.440
<v Speaker 3>Right.

0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:35.919
<v Speaker 2>So, in many friendships in the past, you know, you

0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:39.800
<v Speaker 2>could tell that certain friendships of mine in the past.

0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:40.920
<v Speaker 1>They wanted me to meet them here.

0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:43.959
<v Speaker 2>You know, they wanted to bring me up to this

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:47.600
<v Speaker 2>level of frequency in which frankly, I didn't feel effective,

0:22:47.920 --> 0:22:51.360
<v Speaker 2>I didn't feel strong, I didn't have clarity, right, So

0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:53.840
<v Speaker 2>I so whatever would come out of my mouth, just

0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:57.119
<v Speaker 2>could not solve it or could not enhance it or

0:22:57.119 --> 0:22:57.840
<v Speaker 2>make it feel better.

0:22:57.880 --> 0:23:00.879
<v Speaker 1>So what you're saying makes so much, and he tracks

0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:03.400
<v Speaker 1>so much. But what we're talking about.

0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:06.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, because in order for us to achieve, build,

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:10.399
<v Speaker 2>or create or just find that piece within us, Yes,

0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:15.639
<v Speaker 2>you have to really understand where do you stand in

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:19.080
<v Speaker 2>strength and cultivate that because that's where you can tell

0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:19.720
<v Speaker 2>that little.

0:23:19.520 --> 0:23:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Boy, hey, yeah, I got it, you got you.

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:23.040
<v Speaker 4>So it was the first time where I felt like

0:23:23.080 --> 0:23:26.239
<v Speaker 4>the adult was in the room, which was me, Like

0:23:26.520 --> 0:23:31.080
<v Speaker 4>I showed up as my adult self within my own body,

0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 4>and I said, I got you.

0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:34.399
<v Speaker 3>Whether this girl.

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:36.639
<v Speaker 4>Likes me or not, whether she gives me the silent

0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 4>treatment or not, whether we're together or not, like you're good.

0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:41.880
<v Speaker 4>And I never knew I was going to be good

0:23:41.920 --> 0:23:44.320
<v Speaker 4>with just me. So it was a lot of just

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:49.560
<v Speaker 4>healing the kind of wounded parts of me that never

0:23:49.640 --> 0:23:52.240
<v Speaker 4>got healed. You break your arm and you never heal it.

0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:54.480
<v Speaker 4>It's going to hurt every time you touch it. You know,

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:56.760
<v Speaker 4>it's gonna the wind blows, it's going to hurt your arm.

0:23:56.760 --> 0:24:01.520
<v Speaker 4>It's like imagine the emotional and psychology wounds that we have,

0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:05.560
<v Speaker 4>especially like you know, immigrants haven't even stronger wounds of

0:24:05.720 --> 0:24:08.440
<v Speaker 4>just like I need to prove, I need to accelerate,

0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:10.280
<v Speaker 4>I need to like do it for my parents.

0:24:10.320 --> 0:24:12.320
<v Speaker 3>I need to get all these things. It's like men

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:13.399
<v Speaker 3>deeper levels for it.

0:24:13.400 --> 0:24:15.520
<v Speaker 2>It was crazy, but by the way for it. For

0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:19.919
<v Speaker 2>what's crazy for immigrants is that they may be not

0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:23.359
<v Speaker 2>even a point in their lifetime where they can sit

0:24:23.800 --> 0:24:26.240
<v Speaker 2>with their wounds and say, I'm going to heal that.

0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:28.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, the time you don't have the time, you.

0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:31.280
<v Speaker 5>Have the time or maybe or maybe schools, you know,

0:24:31.960 --> 0:24:35.800
<v Speaker 5>or maybe not even understand the concept of healing.

0:24:35.640 --> 0:24:37.160
<v Speaker 3>Because your parents not even talking about that.

0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:41.240
<v Speaker 5>No, never, I didn't even understand the concept of healing.

0:24:41.480 --> 0:24:44.119
<v Speaker 5>Just in the last like two three years, like like

0:24:44.200 --> 0:24:46.679
<v Speaker 5>when did you as we were back to like the

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:50.160
<v Speaker 5>Midwest and us, right like like, at what point did

0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.200
<v Speaker 5>you go healing is like a thing?

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:54.640
<v Speaker 3>Right, Well, it wasn't until I moved out of here.

0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:57.040
<v Speaker 5>And I have to like heal these wounds in order

0:24:57.080 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 5>for me to grow into and to It.

0:24:59.560 --> 0:25:00.439
<v Speaker 3>Wasn't I got here.

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:02.760
<v Speaker 4>But really it wasn't until I had breakdown after breakdown

0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:05.960
<v Speaker 4>after breakdown in my life about twelve years ago, and

0:25:06.400 --> 0:25:09.720
<v Speaker 4>a relationship was going bad, a business partnership was going bad,

0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:11.960
<v Speaker 4>and I was I was living in West Hollywood, and

0:25:12.000 --> 0:25:14.479
<v Speaker 4>I was playing basketball a lot in the mean streets

0:25:14.480 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 4>of West Hollywood, and I just started getting I just

0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:21.879
<v Speaker 4>started getting in fights all the time to pick up basketball.

0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:24.199
<v Speaker 4>But this is like, essentially in Beverly Hills. It's not

0:25:24.280 --> 0:25:26.880
<v Speaker 4>like we're freaking comptent or something, you know, It's like we're.

0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that in those moments you were trying

0:25:28.800 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 2>to release something you didn't know what has.

0:25:30.480 --> 0:25:31.880
<v Speaker 3>So much anger inside of me?

0:25:32.440 --> 0:25:35.439
<v Speaker 4>And here's an analogy I've been talking about lately. Have

0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:37.600
<v Speaker 4>you guys ever heard of someone named Wayne Dyer? You

0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:39.840
<v Speaker 4>ever heard of this guy. He's written a lot of books.

0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:41.439
<v Speaker 4>He's since passed, but he was used to be a

0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:46.320
<v Speaker 4>big spiritual personal development guy and he has sold a

0:25:46.320 --> 0:25:47.480
<v Speaker 4>ton of books, all these things.

0:25:47.640 --> 0:25:49.480
<v Speaker 3>Me and Martha watch a lot of his content now.

0:25:49.520 --> 0:25:51.160
<v Speaker 3>But he passed away I think seven years ago.

0:25:51.200 --> 0:25:54.920
<v Speaker 4>Anyways, he used to give a speech with a great analogy,

0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:56.800
<v Speaker 4>and when he would go on stage, he would take

0:25:56.800 --> 0:25:59.480
<v Speaker 4>an orange out with him on stage and he'd say,

0:26:00.240 --> 0:26:03.440
<v Speaker 4>look at this orange. When you squeeze this orange. What

0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:05.560
<v Speaker 4>type of juice comes out of an orange? And you'd

0:26:05.560 --> 0:26:10.360
<v Speaker 4>ask people what comes orange juice? So if you squeeze

0:26:10.359 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 4>this orange, Freddy, does apple juice come out?

0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 3>Does it? Does apple just come out of an orange?

0:26:16.480 --> 0:26:18.200
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't. Does grape juice come out of it?

0:26:18.800 --> 0:26:19.320
<v Speaker 1>No? No?

0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:21.520
<v Speaker 3>Does watermelon juice come out of an orange? No?

0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:22.040
<v Speaker 1>No it doesn't.

0:26:22.160 --> 0:26:26.119
<v Speaker 4>No, orange juice does. Because that's what's inside. And so

0:26:26.240 --> 0:26:30.200
<v Speaker 4>when we as humans are applied pressure in life, when

0:26:30.240 --> 0:26:32.639
<v Speaker 4>there's an audition and we've got to get ready for

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.080
<v Speaker 4>we get it or we don't get it. When there's

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:41.440
<v Speaker 4>someone calling me names, when there's traffic and someone cuts

0:26:41.520 --> 0:26:46.040
<v Speaker 4>us off. Whatever, whatever comes out of us is what's

0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:50.240
<v Speaker 4>inside of us. So if there's anger and resentment and

0:26:50.359 --> 0:26:54.639
<v Speaker 4>jealousy and frustration when I'm applied pressure, that emotion is

0:26:54.680 --> 0:26:56.639
<v Speaker 4>going to come out of me. If I'm filled with

0:26:56.720 --> 0:26:59.080
<v Speaker 4>peace and love and harmony in alignment because I've done

0:26:59.119 --> 0:27:01.960
<v Speaker 4>the healing work, then if I get the audition, I

0:27:01.960 --> 0:27:02.800
<v Speaker 4>don't get the audition.

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:05.720
<v Speaker 3>I have a huge success. The show's number one. It's

0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:06.520
<v Speaker 3>my bombs.

0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:09.720
<v Speaker 4>Sure, maybe I'm a little saddered, just it's not bypassing

0:27:09.760 --> 0:27:13.440
<v Speaker 4>my emotions. But anger is not inside of me. If

0:27:13.480 --> 0:27:17.480
<v Speaker 4>I've healed more, and okay, I have a little disappointment,

0:27:17.520 --> 0:27:19.200
<v Speaker 4>But then I'm like, you know what, did I give

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:22.920
<v Speaker 4>my best? Did I show up my best today? That's

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:25.159
<v Speaker 4>what's inside of me, That's what should come out. So

0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:29.040
<v Speaker 4>what I got in all these relationships and fights and

0:27:29.080 --> 0:27:31.919
<v Speaker 4>I would just get triggered so easily. Now I had

0:27:31.960 --> 0:27:33.840
<v Speaker 4>a lot of love and joy inside of me as well,

0:27:34.280 --> 0:27:36.480
<v Speaker 4>So when good things happened, I was like the passion guy,

0:27:36.640 --> 0:27:40.240
<v Speaker 4>fun guy. But you trigger that broken arm that wound

0:27:40.280 --> 0:27:43.439
<v Speaker 4>inside of me. Boom, you hit that button. It's like,

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:46.359
<v Speaker 4>let's go and defend myself. And that came from feeling

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:49.640
<v Speaker 4>abused and taking advantage of and all that stuff, needing

0:27:49.680 --> 0:27:50.960
<v Speaker 4>to like defend myself.

0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 2>So at some point you said, I want to explore more? Right,

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:06.600
<v Speaker 2>and how was school for grade news? Because you've built

0:28:06.640 --> 0:28:09.960
<v Speaker 2>an empire out of the search for greatness?

0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:13.000
<v Speaker 1>How how did that idea started?

0:28:13.240 --> 0:28:18.280
<v Speaker 4>It started because I was broken during this time and

0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:21.560
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I need answers. Let me go find

0:28:21.560 --> 0:28:24.160
<v Speaker 4>the smartest people I know and start having these conversations.

0:28:24.400 --> 0:28:27.439
<v Speaker 4>And I was already having these conversations and these kind

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 4>of mentors or coaches were helping me, and I was

0:28:29.320 --> 0:28:30.879
<v Speaker 4>just like, people need to hear.

0:28:30.760 --> 0:28:32.880
<v Speaker 5>This, And did you feel like there was a correlation

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:34.479
<v Speaker 5>between what they were all saying.

0:28:34.840 --> 0:28:35.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 4>I mean early the early days, I was more still

0:28:38.680 --> 0:28:40.600
<v Speaker 4>driven by like how do I be successful?

0:28:40.640 --> 0:28:42.240
<v Speaker 3>How do I be number one? How do you be

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:42.760
<v Speaker 3>the best?

0:28:42.960 --> 0:28:45.720
<v Speaker 4>It was like learning from champions of sport or industry

0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:48.719
<v Speaker 4>on like getting to the top. So I still driven

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:52.360
<v Speaker 4>to be number one, But then I was like, oh,

0:28:52.400 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 4>being number one doesn't mean you're going to be happy, right,

0:28:56.600 --> 0:28:57.320
<v Speaker 4>Look at Wilmer.

0:28:57.880 --> 0:28:59.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm scared.

0:29:00.880 --> 0:29:14.440
<v Speaker 6>Kidding you know, right, he's place doctor met podcast and

0:29:14.800 --> 0:29:19.080
<v Speaker 6>hit TV show, and it's just it's going okay for me,

0:29:23.920 --> 0:29:24.680
<v Speaker 6>it's very good.

0:29:24.800 --> 0:29:27.000
<v Speaker 4>No, So it's it was a journey of like, let

0:29:27.040 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 4>me learn about how to first be the best I

0:29:29.960 --> 0:29:31.760
<v Speaker 4>can be to destroy people?

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:33.280
<v Speaker 3>That was like the initial thought.

0:29:33.760 --> 0:29:36.959
<v Speaker 4>Interesting, I mean, like be the best of my industry

0:29:37.000 --> 0:29:38.440
<v Speaker 4>and be number one and be looked at it as

0:29:38.520 --> 0:29:45.360
<v Speaker 4>like cool or whatever. And you mean in competition, how

0:29:45.400 --> 0:29:46.960
<v Speaker 4>can everyone talk about me all the time?

0:29:46.960 --> 0:29:49.120
<v Speaker 3>How can everyone talk make me look good?

0:29:49.160 --> 0:29:49.280
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:29:49.320 --> 0:29:50.440
<v Speaker 3>Because I was wounded.

0:29:50.960 --> 0:29:52.959
<v Speaker 4>I came from a place of not having friends, being

0:29:52.960 --> 0:29:55.400
<v Speaker 4>in the bottom of my class, being picked on, picked

0:29:55.400 --> 0:29:59.680
<v Speaker 4>the last, sexually abused, all these things to Okay, I'm

0:29:59.680 --> 0:30:02.880
<v Speaker 4>gonna prove people wrong. Let me become the best version

0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 4>of me to prove people wrong and run away from

0:30:05.640 --> 0:30:06.040
<v Speaker 4>the pain.

0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:09.840
<v Speaker 3>So I didn't face the pain for twenty five years.

0:30:10.320 --> 0:30:13.440
<v Speaker 4>So I was building a version of me to run

0:30:13.480 --> 0:30:17.680
<v Speaker 4>away from pain, run away from bullying, sexual abuse, sadness,

0:30:17.720 --> 0:30:22.680
<v Speaker 4>whatever it might be. And you can only run for

0:30:22.720 --> 0:30:26.000
<v Speaker 4>so long until it catches up to you. Yeah, you

0:30:26.000 --> 0:30:29.160
<v Speaker 4>can only chase success for so long. That thing is

0:30:29.200 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 4>gonna keep coming out. There's a storm that's just trailing it.

0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:35.200
<v Speaker 4>And I felt the storm constantly, like just touching the.

0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:36.280
<v Speaker 3>Back of my neck.

0:30:37.160 --> 0:30:40.400
<v Speaker 4>And then the storm hit and it broke in every

0:30:40.440 --> 0:30:43.400
<v Speaker 4>relationship in my life at one point. And that's where

0:30:43.440 --> 0:30:46.120
<v Speaker 4>I was like, something, I'm the common denominator of all

0:30:46.200 --> 0:30:49.960
<v Speaker 4>these relationships and moments in life where I'm reacting. I

0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:52.480
<v Speaker 4>can't blame everyone else anymore. I'm realizing it's me now.

0:30:52.880 --> 0:30:54.840
<v Speaker 4>And that was a reflection moment where I said, let

0:30:54.880 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 4>me do something.

0:30:55.400 --> 0:30:56.920
<v Speaker 1>I think it was also a combination of.

0:30:58.840 --> 0:31:03.680
<v Speaker 2>The confret you have in certain personalities, or did you

0:31:03.760 --> 0:31:06.840
<v Speaker 2>really take all the blame yourself because that's a pattern, right,

0:31:06.880 --> 0:31:08.480
<v Speaker 2>We all have patterns, and I think you have to

0:31:08.760 --> 0:31:11.800
<v Speaker 2>want to appreciate that there is something you got to

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:14.240
<v Speaker 2>fix or you know, restructure.

0:31:14.760 --> 0:31:16.960
<v Speaker 1>And the other one is that you have a pattern in.

0:31:16.840 --> 0:31:21.000
<v Speaker 2>Exposing yourself to situations and environments in which triggers that

0:31:21.160 --> 0:31:22.800
<v Speaker 2>other broken self of yourself.

0:31:23.320 --> 0:31:26.120
<v Speaker 4>Yes, and no, I think you know, when we learn

0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:30.080
<v Speaker 4>to love and accept ourselves and create the true boundaries

0:31:30.080 --> 0:31:33.800
<v Speaker 4>we need, Like we can still have people in our

0:31:33.840 --> 0:31:36.200
<v Speaker 4>lives and create a boundary, we don't have to eliminate

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:39.000
<v Speaker 4>them fully necessarily. There might be friends or family members

0:31:39.000 --> 0:31:42.239
<v Speaker 4>where we're creating boundaries. With some people we might need

0:31:42.280 --> 0:31:44.680
<v Speaker 4>to remove ourselves from completely or for out of alignment.

0:31:45.160 --> 0:31:47.480
<v Speaker 3>But I've learned that, Like, you know, my mom.

0:31:47.280 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 4>Triggers the crap out of me still, but I've learned

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 4>to accept her more and not get triggered as much

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 4>and just be like, Okay, that's just who she is,

0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:59.719
<v Speaker 4>And I've learned to heal that relationship better as opposed

0:31:59.760 --> 0:32:01.880
<v Speaker 4>to feeling like she's always trying to babe.

0:32:01.760 --> 0:32:03.160
<v Speaker 3>Me as a forty two year old man. You know,

0:32:03.200 --> 0:32:06.240
<v Speaker 3>it's like a grown man, stop babying me. But now

0:32:06.280 --> 0:32:08.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm just like, Okay, it's my mom. I'm gonna accept

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:10.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna accept it, and I'm gonna.

0:32:10.360 --> 0:32:12.479
<v Speaker 4>Love her for who she is as opposed to it

0:32:12.520 --> 0:32:15.280
<v Speaker 4>like really like triggering me, you know. So it's it's

0:32:15.360 --> 0:32:17.840
<v Speaker 4>learning how to create acceptance and boundaries at the same

0:32:17.880 --> 0:32:22.480
<v Speaker 4>time and and really caring less about what people think.

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:25.600
<v Speaker 4>And I have a few you know, I care about

0:32:25.640 --> 0:32:28.760
<v Speaker 4>what my wife thinks. But I'm also I create boundaries, right.

0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:29.120
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:32:29.120 --> 0:32:31.840
<v Speaker 4>It's because I spoke up for the first time when

0:32:31.880 --> 0:32:34.479
<v Speaker 4>we started a relationship, and I was just like, this

0:32:34.560 --> 0:32:35.880
<v Speaker 4>is what I'm willing to do, and this is what

0:32:35.920 --> 0:32:36.719
<v Speaker 4>I'm not willing to do.

0:32:36.920 --> 0:32:41.760
<v Speaker 3>This is this is my this is I was like,

0:32:42.120 --> 0:32:43.480
<v Speaker 3>no surprise is yeah.

0:32:43.520 --> 0:32:46.800
<v Speaker 4>I was like, this is everything about me, And here's

0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:50.200
<v Speaker 4>what I believe my role should be in this relationship.

0:32:50.760 --> 0:32:53.640
<v Speaker 4>And I'm gonna step in one hundred percent into this role.

0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:56.440
<v Speaker 4>I'm not going fifty percent over here, fifty here. I'm

0:32:56.440 --> 0:32:58.880
<v Speaker 4>gonna be one hundred percent this and this is what

0:32:58.920 --> 0:32:59.680
<v Speaker 4>I can agree to.

0:33:00.480 --> 0:33:00.800
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:33:01.360 --> 0:33:02.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't think I would have if I got married

0:33:02.960 --> 0:33:04.840
<v Speaker 4>in my twenties. There's no way to be stayed married.

0:33:05.160 --> 0:33:09.959
<v Speaker 4>It was like seven failed relationships and lots of therapy

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:12.920
<v Speaker 4>that got me to place of like creating boundaries and

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:15.560
<v Speaker 4>to be able to speak up and say, these are

0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:18.000
<v Speaker 4>the agreements that I want to create with you, This

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:22.280
<v Speaker 4>is where my values are, and can we agree on

0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:28.000
<v Speaker 4>these things. Those agreements, in my mind, create alignment where

0:33:28.000 --> 0:33:32.400
<v Speaker 4>we both have an expectation based on shared values and alignment,

0:33:33.080 --> 0:33:34.480
<v Speaker 4>and that alignment.

0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:34.720
<v Speaker 3>Gives me peace.

0:33:34.800 --> 0:33:36.320
<v Speaker 4>I told you this was like when I came in here,

0:33:36.360 --> 0:33:38.760
<v Speaker 4>I was like, I feel peaceful because I'm in alignment.

0:33:39.000 --> 0:33:39.760
<v Speaker 3>I have harmony.

0:33:40.240 --> 0:33:44.120
<v Speaker 4>But it was a year of having uncomfortable conversation after

0:33:44.160 --> 0:33:47.560
<v Speaker 4>conversation to make sure we're in alignment. So it wasn't

0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 4>just hoping we saw eye to eye. It was like, oh, no,

0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:51.400
<v Speaker 4>we need to see eyd eye hear it. If not,

0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:54.520
<v Speaker 4>we need to make an agreement because we don't have

0:33:54.560 --> 0:33:59.840
<v Speaker 4>an agreement, that means we are in disagreement. You're automatically

0:34:00.080 --> 0:34:04.240
<v Speaker 4>you're automatically in disagreement if you do not speak about

0:34:04.720 --> 0:34:05.640
<v Speaker 4>a shared agreement.

0:34:06.200 --> 0:34:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel that therapy gave you those tools?

0:34:09.120 --> 0:34:14.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm because I think two people alone only have a

0:34:14.920 --> 0:34:18.480
<v Speaker 4>certain amount of tools to do everything. You know, it's

0:34:18.520 --> 0:34:21.000
<v Speaker 4>hard to do everything in an intimate relationship on your own.

0:34:21.520 --> 0:34:23.840
<v Speaker 4>It doesn't mean you always need a third party, but

0:34:23.920 --> 0:34:26.000
<v Speaker 4>I think when you can't do it on your own,

0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:28.759
<v Speaker 4>I think it's important to have a third party that

0:34:29.000 --> 0:34:33.200
<v Speaker 4>you both agree with. And when we started dating, within

0:34:33.239 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 4>the first three months of just dating non exclusively, I said,

0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:40.520
<v Speaker 4>I'm not getting into a committed relationship again unless the

0:34:40.520 --> 0:34:44.040
<v Speaker 4>person I'm committing to will start the relationship in therapy.

0:34:44.400 --> 0:34:46.680
<v Speaker 4>And that was that was the big move. What do

0:34:46.719 --> 0:34:48.480
<v Speaker 4>you mean like a couple the couple's therapy.

0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:50.640
<v Speaker 3>And it was the big move because I was soon

0:34:51.080 --> 0:34:52.759
<v Speaker 3>in the dates within.

0:34:52.600 --> 0:34:55.919
<v Speaker 4>Six months of dating, because I was like, I don't

0:34:55.960 --> 0:34:58.200
<v Speaker 4>want to go down another two year relationship and then

0:34:58.280 --> 0:35:00.160
<v Speaker 4>break up in therapy.

0:35:00.640 --> 0:35:02.000
<v Speaker 3>I was like, let's start in therapy.

0:35:02.040 --> 0:35:03.680
<v Speaker 2>So what you say is like, hey, we're going to

0:35:03.760 --> 0:35:07.360
<v Speaker 2>go into therapy. Let's get the tools we need, accept.

0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:09.319
<v Speaker 3>And make sure we're in alignment. Otherwise let's move on.

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:10.759
<v Speaker 4>Like I don't want to be in a two three

0:35:10.840 --> 0:35:13.200
<v Speaker 4>four year relationship because we care about each other and

0:35:13.239 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 4>we're good people and we'd try to make it work, but.

0:35:15.480 --> 0:35:16.160
<v Speaker 3>It's not working.

0:35:16.680 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 4>Like, let's figure this out in the first year if

0:35:18.640 --> 0:35:21.799
<v Speaker 4>we have a shot, and that gave me a lot

0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:23.640
<v Speaker 4>of peace because it was the first time I felt

0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:26.400
<v Speaker 4>like I had a partner willing to invest in personal

0:35:26.440 --> 0:35:30.080
<v Speaker 4>growth as well because I was always doing it. And

0:35:30.200 --> 0:35:32.040
<v Speaker 4>all the girls that I dated before never wanted to

0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:34.880
<v Speaker 4>do therapy together. When things were getting rough, they resisted it,

0:35:34.920 --> 0:35:36.000
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, why.

0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:37.520
<v Speaker 3>Do you think girls would die for this? You know,

0:35:37.680 --> 0:35:38.920
<v Speaker 3>do you think they were resisting it?

0:35:39.000 --> 0:35:42.160
<v Speaker 4>I chose women out of a wound, and I chose

0:35:42.239 --> 0:35:45.160
<v Speaker 4>I think I chose nothing against these women, but I

0:35:45.160 --> 0:35:48.720
<v Speaker 4>don't know any woman that wouldn't die for their man

0:35:48.800 --> 0:35:50.799
<v Speaker 4>to wish they would go to therapy with them if

0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:54.520
<v Speaker 4>something struggled. But none of the women I chose ever

0:35:54.600 --> 0:35:56.399
<v Speaker 4>wanted to go because then they would have to face

0:35:56.440 --> 0:35:59.160
<v Speaker 4>their own They would have to face around stuff, accountability

0:35:59.160 --> 0:36:01.759
<v Speaker 4>to accountability. And I was choosing these women based on

0:36:01.760 --> 0:36:05.399
<v Speaker 4>my own wounds. And again doesn't mean they're right or wrong.

0:36:06.480 --> 0:36:09.200
<v Speaker 2>You were choosing them to fit the way you were

0:36:09.239 --> 0:36:11.040
<v Speaker 2>molded to be at that moment exactly.

0:36:11.960 --> 0:36:17.080
<v Speaker 4>And had I created, you know, had courageous conversations early on,

0:36:17.120 --> 0:36:18.760
<v Speaker 4>I probably would never have been with any of these women.

0:36:19.560 --> 0:36:23.080
<v Speaker 4>But I was more bonded by chemicals, by chemical pleasure

0:36:23.719 --> 0:36:28.040
<v Speaker 4>rather than spiritual connection because I wasn't having those conscious

0:36:28.080 --> 0:36:31.759
<v Speaker 4>conversations early on. There was intimacy and deep conversation, but

0:36:32.960 --> 0:36:35.440
<v Speaker 4>if they didn't like something that I was saying, this

0:36:35.480 --> 0:36:37.640
<v Speaker 4>is my vision or my value, I would kind of

0:36:37.640 --> 0:36:39.560
<v Speaker 4>be like changed to make sure they liked me.

0:36:40.719 --> 0:36:43.360
<v Speaker 3>So I was I'd be like, Okay.

0:36:43.120 --> 0:36:44.480
<v Speaker 4>I won't do this if you don't want to do that,

0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:47.040
<v Speaker 4>if that makes you uneasy, I'll just do what you

0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:49.800
<v Speaker 4>want me to do. Because I was more chemically bonded

0:36:50.200 --> 0:36:54.799
<v Speaker 4>rather than are we spiritually aligned? And that's why I

0:36:54.800 --> 0:36:59.239
<v Speaker 4>feel peace because there's better alignments and better agreements, and

0:36:59.280 --> 0:37:01.640
<v Speaker 4>if you don't have a greets, you're in disagreement.

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:04.280
<v Speaker 3>That doesn't feel good. That's out of alignment.

0:37:05.760 --> 0:37:08.880
<v Speaker 5>You said earlier that a lot of your books and

0:37:09.400 --> 0:37:11.520
<v Speaker 5>what you do is based.

0:37:11.160 --> 0:37:12.480
<v Speaker 1>On the concept of healing.

0:37:12.600 --> 0:37:17.480
<v Speaker 5>Yes, right, And as we were just talking about like immigrants,

0:37:17.520 --> 0:37:19.080
<v Speaker 5>for example, you just said that earlier.

0:37:19.160 --> 0:37:20.560
<v Speaker 1>You're like, can you imagine.

0:37:20.160 --> 0:37:23.400
<v Speaker 5>What immigrants are going through and the trauma that they're facing,

0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:25.640
<v Speaker 5>and the and the healing that needs to happen right

0:37:25.680 --> 0:37:30.520
<v Speaker 5>in them? How did you come to the conclusion that

0:37:30.600 --> 0:37:34.080
<v Speaker 5>you needed to just heal like what was like, how

0:37:34.120 --> 0:37:36.680
<v Speaker 5>did that concept even come into your brain?

0:37:36.800 --> 0:37:38.920
<v Speaker 1>And I as first you think about like how do

0:37:38.960 --> 0:37:41.879
<v Speaker 1>I fix myself? You don't think like, oh, I got

0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:45.040
<v Speaker 1>to heal, right, that that healing is even a concept.

0:37:45.239 --> 0:37:49.879
<v Speaker 4>Here's why, because all three of us are driven guys. Right,

0:37:49.920 --> 0:37:52.080
<v Speaker 4>we want to succeed. We want to be able to provide,

0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:53.799
<v Speaker 4>We want to be able to make money. We want

0:37:53.800 --> 0:37:56.879
<v Speaker 4>to be acknowledged for our skills and our talents. Right,

0:37:56.960 --> 0:37:58.760
<v Speaker 4>you want to you want to do a good job,

0:37:59.520 --> 0:38:01.279
<v Speaker 4>and you don't want it to just be good. You

0:38:01.320 --> 0:38:04.880
<v Speaker 4>want it to be you know, the top. Right, you

0:38:04.880 --> 0:38:07.400
<v Speaker 4>want to you know your effort is acknowledged. Right, you

0:38:07.400 --> 0:38:12.400
<v Speaker 4>want to be We all but no, seriously, we all

0:38:12.400 --> 0:38:18.759
<v Speaker 4>want them though, we all we all want we all

0:38:18.880 --> 0:38:21.040
<v Speaker 4>want to be successful in whatever we're doing.

0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:23.760
<v Speaker 3>However that looks like for us, whatever that that success

0:38:24.000 --> 0:38:24.160
<v Speaker 3>was like.

0:38:24.680 --> 0:38:28.800
<v Speaker 4>The challenge is when I accomp when I became a millionaire,

0:38:28.880 --> 0:38:31.680
<v Speaker 4>when I was on the USA national team for an

0:38:31.680 --> 0:38:35.640
<v Speaker 4>Olympic sport, when I had the beautiful girlfriend, when I

0:38:35.800 --> 0:38:38.600
<v Speaker 4>had you know, people recognizing me, I still didn't love

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:39.520
<v Speaker 4>and accept myself.

0:38:40.280 --> 0:38:43.920
<v Speaker 3>So I was chasing the success, the money, the rewards,

0:38:44.000 --> 0:38:45.400
<v Speaker 3>the awards.

0:38:45.440 --> 0:38:48.960
<v Speaker 4>To feel good, and I still wasn't feeling good. Momentarily,

0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 4>I was like, okay, like that feels good. They're acknowledging

0:38:51.160 --> 0:38:53.440
<v Speaker 4>me or whatever. I have money, but I still had

0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:55.719
<v Speaker 4>a lot of sadness. So I was like, what's the

0:38:55.840 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 4>point of making this money or succeeding or being on

0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:03.239
<v Speaker 4>magazine covers if I don't feel whole? And so for me,

0:39:03.400 --> 0:39:06.279
<v Speaker 4>as I was studying greatness from all these individuals and

0:39:06.320 --> 0:39:08.439
<v Speaker 4>studying how to manifest and how to create the life

0:39:08.440 --> 0:39:15.719
<v Speaker 4>we want, I was realizing that without feeling whole, all

0:39:15.800 --> 0:39:19.480
<v Speaker 4>the success is nice, but it doesn't fulfill me because

0:39:19.480 --> 0:39:23.239
<v Speaker 4>I am still not whole. So what is the point

0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:26.520
<v Speaker 4>of the success or the awards or the girl whatever

0:39:27.440 --> 0:39:29.040
<v Speaker 4>if it still does not fulfill me?

0:39:29.280 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 1>And if you're not fulfilled, then you cannot enjoy those

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:33.640
<v Speaker 1>achievements because.

0:39:33.360 --> 0:39:36.239
<v Speaker 3>Then you're still like I need more. Right, I have

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:39.040
<v Speaker 3>this much money, it's not making me feel good. Let

0:39:39.080 --> 0:39:41.560
<v Speaker 3>me go for more. I still feel like I'm in scarcity.

0:39:42.600 --> 0:39:46.880
<v Speaker 4>Scarcity comes from a lack of wholeness out of alignment.

0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:52.560
<v Speaker 4>We live in an emotional scarcity. Our nervous system feels disaligned,

0:39:53.040 --> 0:39:56.799
<v Speaker 4>and so we feel stressed, anxious, not enough. I needed

0:39:56.800 --> 0:39:59.919
<v Speaker 4>to be doing more. And it doesn't mean we can't

0:40:00.560 --> 0:40:03.839
<v Speaker 4>work really hard at our craft every day and we're

0:40:03.840 --> 0:40:05.440
<v Speaker 4>out of alignment or something. It doesn't mean we just

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:08.120
<v Speaker 4>sit around and do nothing. I'm still a believer in

0:40:09.040 --> 0:40:12.400
<v Speaker 4>giving full energy, full effort, mastering your craft, being the

0:40:12.480 --> 0:40:15.840
<v Speaker 4>best you can be, excelling to be the top, whatever

0:40:15.920 --> 0:40:16.560
<v Speaker 4>that looks like for you.

0:40:17.600 --> 0:40:19.479
<v Speaker 3>But not the top.

0:40:19.680 --> 0:40:22.000
<v Speaker 4>Were the results giving us the benefit I'll give you.

0:40:22.080 --> 0:40:24.279
<v Speaker 4>I'll give you a quick example that's recent for me

0:40:25.520 --> 0:40:27.960
<v Speaker 4>with this book launch that I had. I just got

0:40:28.120 --> 0:40:31.840
<v Speaker 4>married six weeks ago, right, and then I decided to

0:40:31.920 --> 0:40:34.960
<v Speaker 4>do a wedding experience and then a book launch and

0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:37.560
<v Speaker 4>a book tour within like the same month, which was crazy.

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:41.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't recommend it. And I remember thinking to myself

0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:42.759
<v Speaker 4>during the book launch and the tour, I was like,

0:40:44.719 --> 0:40:46.680
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if I'm going to hit the New

0:40:46.719 --> 0:40:49.080
<v Speaker 4>York Times bestseller list as an author. That's kind of

0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:52.640
<v Speaker 4>like the mark of success, right, And I'd been on

0:40:52.719 --> 0:40:54.320
<v Speaker 4>it twice before with other books.

0:40:54.680 --> 0:40:57.560
<v Speaker 3>But I was like, did I do enough? Did I

0:40:57.600 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 3>do enough marketing? Do I do enough touring? Did I

0:41:00.480 --> 0:41:01.240
<v Speaker 3>do enough press?

0:41:01.280 --> 0:41:04.160
<v Speaker 4>All these different things, and I was literally at the

0:41:04.239 --> 0:41:07.800
<v Speaker 4>place where I was just like, I did enough for

0:41:07.920 --> 0:41:09.920
<v Speaker 4>me to make an impact on people, and I did

0:41:10.000 --> 0:41:11.960
<v Speaker 4>the best I could with the season of life I'm

0:41:12.000 --> 0:41:15.919
<v Speaker 4>at and it's not worth getting sick over gaining weight,

0:41:16.080 --> 0:41:17.520
<v Speaker 4>over feeling exhausted.

0:41:17.520 --> 0:41:20.520
<v Speaker 3>It's not worth that for some list. And I was like,

0:41:20.600 --> 0:41:22.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm at peace, even if if it happens or not.

0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:27.200
<v Speaker 4>And if you hit the list in two books before

0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:29.759
<v Speaker 4>and then you don't hit it again, Normally I'd be like, ah,

0:41:29.880 --> 0:41:31.680
<v Speaker 4>I need to do it, because how is I gonna

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:33.680
<v Speaker 4>look what if no one shows up, or what if

0:41:33.719 --> 0:41:35.200
<v Speaker 4>no one comes to my tour? What if I'm not

0:41:35.280 --> 0:41:36.880
<v Speaker 4>on the list and I have to promote I didn't

0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:37.160
<v Speaker 4>make it.

0:41:37.400 --> 0:41:38.520
<v Speaker 3>What's that going to make me feel?

0:41:39.080 --> 0:41:41.600
<v Speaker 4>But I was set so much peace, Like the day

0:41:41.719 --> 0:41:43.279
<v Speaker 4>of the list coming out, I was like, I don't

0:41:43.280 --> 0:41:45.000
<v Speaker 4>actually think it's gonna happen, and I'm okay with it.

0:41:46.080 --> 0:41:47.920
<v Speaker 4>And it happened, and I was like that's cool too,

0:41:48.640 --> 0:41:51.239
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, the awards are nice, but making

0:41:51.280 --> 0:41:53.880
<v Speaker 4>an impact and doing something that I feel is meaningful

0:41:53.920 --> 0:41:56.960
<v Speaker 4>for me, like I grew in the process of creating

0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:02.000
<v Speaker 4>this art for me, and that is the real win

0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:06.759
<v Speaker 4>at this level. So the whole key to manifesting what

0:42:06.920 --> 0:42:11.000
<v Speaker 4>you want, the whole key to having the ultimate success

0:42:12.080 --> 0:42:16.880
<v Speaker 4>is creating a sense of wholeness and alignment within you. First,

0:42:17.800 --> 0:42:20.640
<v Speaker 4>not needing the thing to fulfill me and feeling better

0:42:20.680 --> 0:42:23.880
<v Speaker 4>about me, but feeling good about me because I'm in

0:42:24.040 --> 0:42:26.000
<v Speaker 4>the act. And you guys have probably heard this a

0:42:26.040 --> 0:42:29.719
<v Speaker 4>million times. It's like, it's the daily pursuit, not the

0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:33.840
<v Speaker 4>results that should bring us joy. Now, the success is

0:42:33.840 --> 0:42:37.879
<v Speaker 4>always a nice bonus. The list, the number one show,

0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:41.160
<v Speaker 4>the money is a great bonus because it's a sense

0:42:41.200 --> 0:42:46.120
<v Speaker 4>of acknowledgment in your industry. But as you guys know,

0:42:46.360 --> 0:42:49.560
<v Speaker 4>like this, I'm adjacent to the entertainment world. I'm like

0:42:49.680 --> 0:42:52.640
<v Speaker 4>in it, but not really. It's like there's got to

0:42:52.640 --> 0:42:55.000
<v Speaker 4>be a lot of pressure for actors and producers and

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:58.200
<v Speaker 4>writers of like. Oh, but it's so subjective and it's

0:42:58.239 --> 0:43:00.880
<v Speaker 4>like a little committee with the New York Times list.

0:43:01.000 --> 0:43:02.799
<v Speaker 4>It's a committee of people I don't know who they are,

0:43:03.400 --> 0:43:04.800
<v Speaker 4>who knows how they actually decide.

0:43:04.920 --> 0:43:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it's a weird numbers game in a certain

0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:09.919
<v Speaker 2>amount of time, exactly. It's not even like the life

0:43:09.960 --> 0:43:10.399
<v Speaker 2>of the Book.

0:43:10.520 --> 0:43:12.000
<v Speaker 3>It's not just like that week.

0:43:12.160 --> 0:43:14.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that week, You're like, well, what if like the

0:43:14.320 --> 0:43:18.360
<v Speaker 2>press was delayed, what if like that article didn't go wide?

0:43:18.480 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, like there's so much stuff that really plays

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:23.400
<v Speaker 2>a factor and with how you're performing that week anyways,

0:43:23.480 --> 0:43:26.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, a lot of stuff was coming up

0:43:26.280 --> 0:43:28.520
<v Speaker 2>as you were bringing up and speaking of your book.

0:43:28.520 --> 0:43:30.319
<v Speaker 2>I want to actually talk a bit about your book

0:43:30.400 --> 0:43:35.719
<v Speaker 2>because I know it definitely wasn't easy for me to

0:43:35.840 --> 0:43:39.000
<v Speaker 2>make a book, and I will say this guy's had multiples.

0:43:39.360 --> 0:43:41.879
<v Speaker 1>What I really want to do is really break down

0:43:42.080 --> 0:43:44.200
<v Speaker 1>what this book really means. You know.

0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.800
<v Speaker 2>This is part one of the two part conversation with

0:43:48.000 --> 0:43:50.279
<v Speaker 2>my brother Lewis House. So this is part one, see

0:43:50.320 --> 0:43:52.000
<v Speaker 2>you guys are part two. This is Those Amigos and

0:43:52.239 --> 0:43:54.480
<v Speaker 2>my brother An. I'm Freddie Rodriguez and I'll see you

0:43:54.520 --> 0:43:55.040
<v Speaker 2>in the next one.

0:43:59.000 --> 0:44:03.520
<v Speaker 5>Those Amigos production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through

0:44:03.560 --> 0:44:08.120
<v Speaker 5>That podcast network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez and Wilmer Valdorama.

0:44:08.360 --> 0:44:12.440
<v Speaker 2>Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencer Zabos.

0:44:12.600 --> 0:44:17.320
<v Speaker 5>Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson,

0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:19.640
<v Speaker 5>and Leo Klem at WV Sound.

0:44:19.880 --> 0:44:22.160
<v Speaker 2>This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts

0:44:22.239 --> 0:44:25.239
<v Speaker 2>and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by

0:44:25.320 --> 0:44:27.239
<v Speaker 2>Madison Devenport and Halo boy Our.

0:44:27.320 --> 0:44:30.799
<v Speaker 5>Cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed by

0:44:30.920 --> 0:44:32.279
<v Speaker 5>Deny Holtzklau And.

0:44:32.400 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:36.759
<v Speaker 2>you guys always listening to those amigos.

0:44:36.960 --> 0:44:39.120
<v Speaker 5>For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart

0:44:39.200 --> 0:44:42.400
<v Speaker 5>Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

0:44:42.440 --> 0:44:43.160
<v Speaker 5>favorite shows.

0:44:43.440 --> 0:44:44.160
<v Speaker 1>See you next week.