1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: advice on relationship, sex, dating, work, parenting, and more, please 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,159 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. I think it's time for 7 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: this right here. She has been chosen again this year 8 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: as one of the most Influential Women in Radio for 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: twenty twenty and on Air category by Radio Inc. Magazine, 10 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: Ladies and Gentlemen. The one only Shy and now because 11 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 1: up every letter. Thank you sir, that was cool. Thank you, 12 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: gratulation girl, Thank you, Thank you Radio. Thank you guys. Yeah, 13 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: that's pretty cool. Blessed all right? Subject wow, Subject I 14 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: have two perfect boyfriends. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a 15 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: forty nine year old divorce woman with two grown children. 16 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: Two years ago, I prayed that God send me a 17 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: real good man and life partner. I was dating with 18 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 1: a purpose and I had a list of non negotiables 19 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: and must have. Six months into praying and dating, I 20 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: met the most incredible man and he checked off nine 21 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: of the ten boxes on my list. He lives in 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: a different state, so either I visited him or he 23 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: comes to see me twice a month. I was praying, 24 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: but I wasn't being stupid enough to put all of 25 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: my eggs in one basket. I kept dating men in 26 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: my hometown. Shortly after I met the first guy, I 27 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: met another really incredible guy that lives in my city, 28 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: and he too checked off nine of the ten boxes 29 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: on my list. I've been seeing them both and having 30 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: the best time. I was waiting to see if one 31 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: of them would switch up and change so I wouldn't 32 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: have a hard time dumping one of them. But they 33 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: have both remained consistently wonderful, and I can honestly say 34 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: that I love them both. I have two of the 35 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,519 Speaker 1: best relationships that a woman could dream of. There's no drama, 36 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: no arguing, and no issues. I know that I'm the 37 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: only I know that I'm the only woman that they 38 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: are seeing and have keys to their homes. I have 39 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: keys to their homes. I want this to work, and 40 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: I even jokingly asked both of them about a polyamorous relationship. 41 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: They said that would be great, but only if they 42 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: could have more than one woman. They both talk about 43 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: marriage and how long they have searched For a woman 44 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: like me, I can't decide which one would make the 45 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: best life partner. I don't want to hear a lecture 46 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: about how I am playing two men, because men do 47 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: it all the time. I'm having a lot of fun, 48 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: but I need to stop playing before they find out 49 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: about each other. How can I choose one over the other? Well, now, 50 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: aren't sure? Just living your best life? Well, you know, 51 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: many women I'll say this, complain about not having or 52 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: not being able to find one good man. And here 53 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: you are with two good boyfriends, perfect boyfriends. And how 54 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: convenient that one of them lives out of town. I mean, 55 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: how convenient is that one lives in town and one 56 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: lives out of town? So you know there won't be 57 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: any cross pollination or anything going on in your life. 58 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: You're right about you know. I can understand that you 59 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: don't want to hear a lecture about having two boy friends, 60 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: because yes, men do it all the time and no 61 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,119 Speaker 1: one says anything. Humh. But guess what, You're not a man, 62 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: and there is a double standard when it comes to this. 63 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: There is just a double standard in the world. But hey, 64 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: have your fun while you can okay, because you know 65 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: this isn't going to last forever. You've already said you 66 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: need to stop before they find out. You've asked them 67 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 1: about a polyamorous relationship and they liked it, but only 68 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: if they could have more than one woman. And I 69 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: gotta ask you, did that make you think or feel anything? Like? 70 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: You know, while you're out of town, you know, especially 71 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: you're out of town guy, while you're out of town 72 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: with him, Maybe you know what's he doing when you're 73 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 1: not in town. Maybe he might be doing that. Anyway, 74 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: It's just a thought, just a thought. But to the 75 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: question of choosing one over the other, I just say 76 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: only you can make that choice. You have to make 77 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 1: that decision. You know, ask yourself these questions. Which one 78 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: puts you first, Which one's actions lines up with his words? 79 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: Which one can you depend on the most? You know, 80 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: who treats you like a queen? Who do you think 81 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: will be a good father? Those are kind of the 82 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: things you think about when you're trying to, you know, 83 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: choose a life partner. So, I mean, which one supports 84 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: your dream? So if one of those fits all that criteria, 85 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: then you know you know which one that is. And 86 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: like I said, only you can make that choice, Steve. Yeah, Well, 87 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: I have two perfect boyfriends. I normally don't do this, 88 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna start at the bottom of the letter. 89 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 1: How can I choose one over the other? First of all, 90 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: let me say I'm having a lot of fun, but 91 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: I need to stop playing before they find out about 92 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: each other. How can I choose one over the other? Well, 93 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: I really don't give a damn. I really don't. I 94 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: don't don't don't. I really don't give a damn about 95 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: this problem that you wrote in that you're having. This 96 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: is a problem. You create it yourself, and you're having 97 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: fun and you don't won't know Leckhell, so what you 98 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: write me for? I don't give a damn who you choose. 99 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: I don't give a damn who find out. But I 100 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: tell you what I will do when we come back, though, 101 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,559 Speaker 1: I will tell you something in here that you didn't 102 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 1: write in here. But I'm inform you about something about 103 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: me and Sistem, because once you play this game with men, 104 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: you messing with somebody who played this game for real. 105 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: Men are not as smart as women. But we all 106 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 1: ain't really that damn dumb, though, thank you. I appreciate that. 107 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: You just need to tell you that as smart as women, 108 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: but we ain't really that damn dumb, though, And you 109 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: need to understand that system. And that's it's in your letter, 110 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna give it back to you when we 111 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: come back. All right, Steve, we'll have part two of 112 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 113 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: Subject of today's strawberry letter, I have two perfect boyfriends. 114 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: Will get back into it right after this. You're listening 115 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: to show a right Steve, Come on, let's recap today's 116 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: strawberry letter. I have two perfect boyfriends. Like I said 117 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: after I read the bottom of the letter, I'm having 118 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: a lot of fun, but I need to stop playing 119 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: for they find out about each other. How can I 120 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: choose one over the other? And I said before we 121 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: went on break, I don't give a damn I don't. 122 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: I don't kill which one you pick? I don't because 123 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: y'all see, and how can I choose one any other? 124 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: Like I said it earlier, women are smarter than men, 125 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: But men ain't that dumb though. And now I'm thin 126 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: to walk you through this letter and show you what 127 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Now you forty nine years old, you 128 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: divorced woman with two grown children. Here's what I don't 129 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: care about this. Later, two years ago, I prayed that 130 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: God send me a real good man and a life partner. 131 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: I was dating with a purpose, and I had a 132 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: list of non negotiable and must have six. Most into 133 00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: praying and dating, I met the most incredible man. He 134 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: checked off nine of the ten boxes of my list. 135 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: He lives in a different states, so either I visit 136 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: him or he comes see me twice a more. God 137 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: answering your prayers. I was praying, but I wasn't being 138 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: stupid enough to put all my eggs in one basket. 139 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: Pump your brains. You mean to tell me now that 140 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: you prayed to God for something. God gave it to you. 141 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: But now you don't trust God. Now you think God 142 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: needs some help from you. You think that your decisions 143 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: it's better than God's decisions. That's what you think. So 144 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: after you've been praying all this time, Lord, Jesus, Father God, 145 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't stupid enough to put all my What you 146 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: really said was I wasn't stupid enough to just accept 147 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: that one prayer as being answered. So just what you 148 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: did so I kept dating me and in my hometown. 149 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: You've been praying to God, so if he send it 150 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: to you, he perfect. What's that you added this complication? 151 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: You drug this other man into this after God gave 152 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: you what you asked for. But but I'm goin to 153 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: show you something now, short life, that I met this guy. 154 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: I met another really incredible guy that lives in my city, 155 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: and he too checked off nine out of the ten 156 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: boxes on your list. Now, one of these men is 157 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: from God. The other one is from you and your greed. Now, 158 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you what I see in this letter. 159 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: I've been seeing them both and having the best time. 160 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: I was waiting to see if one of them would 161 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: switch up and change so I wouldn't have a hard 162 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: time dumping one of them. But they have both remained 163 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: consistently wonderful, and I can honestly say that I love 164 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: both of them. Congratulations, lady, I have two of the 165 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: best relationships that a woman could dream of. Uncle, there's 166 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: no drama, no argument, and no issue. Now here we 167 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: go this one, Finn, Teach yourself. I know that I'm 168 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: the only woman that they I see, and I have 169 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: keys to their homes. Well, listen, you got a key 170 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: to the man's house that's out of town. That's the 171 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: one God answered the prayer for first, and you had 172 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: you added the sec one. You got keys to a 173 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 1: guy's house out of the town. Okay, you got keys 174 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: to a guy's house locally. Okay, that don't mean that's 175 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: his only place. I know a whole lot of dudes 176 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: got to two places, a home and in a fully 177 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: furnished apartment. You might have a key to the fully 178 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 1: furnished apartment. I don't know. I'm just saying but that 179 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: you got keys that don't prove nothing. I want this 180 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: to work. And I even jokingly here you feel to 181 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,319 Speaker 1: learn something. I want this to work. And I even 182 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: jokingly asked both of them about a poly polyamorous relationship. 183 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: That foolishness, they said, now here we go. They said 184 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: that would be great, but only if they could have 185 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: more than one woman. What wait a minute later, you 186 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: pray to God for something, He gives it to you. 187 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: You introduce another man on top of what God gave you. 188 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: Then God gives you a great relationship, and then you 189 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: throw some of your own mass into great relationship. And 190 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: say I asked them both if they want to poly 191 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: so what does it? Surely polyamorous? I don't even want 192 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,559 Speaker 1: that foolishness. That's why I don't even learn stuff like that. 193 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: I want a polyamorous relationship. They said it would be great, 194 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: but only if they could have more than one woman. 195 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: Somebody don't care about you, because now I'm gonna teach 196 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: you something about man. A man that really really loves 197 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: a woman don't want to share the woman I loved 198 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:55,359 Speaker 1: can't be in another man's arms. That's too much. So somebody, 199 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: because you can. You introduced something on top of a something. 200 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 1: You pray you've introduced another relationship. Now you got these 201 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: two perfect relationships, and you want to introduce them to 202 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: one another. But they don't know about each other. You jokingly, 203 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: You ain't jokingly, you fishing. And now they said they'd 204 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: be great, but only if they could have more than 205 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: one woman. You miss that they both talk about marriage 206 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: and how long they have searched for a woman like me. 207 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: I can't decide which one will make the best life, Pardner. 208 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to lecture about how I'm player. I 209 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: ain't gonna get you no lecture. But this's gonna blow 210 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: up in your face because men do it all the time, 211 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: and don't they blow up in their face all the time. 212 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 1: This is gonna blow up in your face, So have 213 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: a lot of good ass fun. Because you can't pray 214 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 1: for God to give you something, then he give it 215 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 1: to you, then you act like you're gonna double down 216 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,079 Speaker 1: on that and to coverage or you don't know what 217 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: a blessing is. All right, thank you. Steve Foster comments 218 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram 219 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on 220 00:12:53,960 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: Demanding This by Schumiko going on forty six minutes after, 221 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: NASCAR driver Kyle Lawson appears to be having some difficulty 222 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: because he said the N word. Hmmm, we'll talk about 223 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: it when we come back. Right after this, you're listening 224 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,959 Speaker 1: to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.