1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam, and this is ye how John, 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: And we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 1: the Okay Storytime podcasts. 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 2: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little 5 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 2: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors. 6 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks 7 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive. 8 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 2: So Sam, it's dumping week, which means we are taking 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 2: out the trash emotionally speaking, that. 10 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: Is yeah, John, we have stories this week that will 11 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: make you stay fair well to with those toxic relationships 12 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: that you may or may not have or maybe had 13 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: the past. You're gonna say goodbye to those and hello 14 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: the red Flag free living. 15 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and if you knew here looking for the 16 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: first story in the series titled my husband cheated but 17 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: he has cancer? 18 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 3: Should I stay? 19 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 2: Just click the link in our show notes last description, 20 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 2: or just search Dumping Week, Okay story Time wherever you 21 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 2: get your podcast. 22 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: Now let's get into today's story. 23 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: I divorced my husband during his mental health crisis. What 24 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 3: I mean best time Right August seventeenth, twenty twenty three. 25 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 3: Me thirty eight female and my husband, thirty eight mal married, 26 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,959 Speaker 3: have been married since two thousand and nine, and we 27 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 3: have a preteen daughter. Last three years have been really 28 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 3: tough on us because of my husband's bad working conditions 29 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 3: that started to affect his mental health. I noticed signs 30 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 3: of burnout and depression and brought up these concerns to 31 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 3: him regularly. He's very dismissive and refused to see his 32 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 3: situation and refuse therapy. By the way, this comes from 33 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,559 Speaker 3: thought willing and if you want to smit your old stories, 34 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 3: go to our size. Okay story temes up ad. So 35 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 3: we started becoming distant and often isolated himself and was 36 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 3: regularly butting heads with our daughter. Eventually told me that 37 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 3: he had met a woman at work. Their relationship was not, 38 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 3: according to him, physical, but he was in love with 39 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 3: her and felt that she was his soulmate and best friend. 40 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 4: Oh dude, dude, come on. 41 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 3: My working theory of why nurses sheat a lot. My 42 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 3: working theory is because they go through so much craziness 43 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 3: day to day that it's like a bond. It's like 44 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 3: a trauma bond. 45 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 4: Today. Yeah, I mean you're seeing those people every day, 46 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 4: like literally for hours on end. You're probably sleep deprived. 47 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,359 Speaker 3: Mm hmm, sleep deprived and the only person that will 48 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 3: make you feel better is someone that might make you 49 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,839 Speaker 3: laugh for giggle, and then you're like, I'm in love 50 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 3: and you're gonna make them cheap. 51 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 4: That's not your excuse. You need to figure that out, man, 52 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 4: I'm just throwing that out there, conspiracy theory. He said 53 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 4: he was very sorry that he could not decide which 54 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 4: woman he would ultimately be happiest with. 55 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 3: I don't like that dud someone. 56 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 4: If someone told me that they were like, I don't 57 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 4: know who to choose, they'd be like, not me. I'm 58 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 4: gonna make that choice easy on you. 59 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 3: If you there, you go. There's just like saying that 60 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 3: if you fall in love with two women, you should 61 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 3: go with the second woman, because if you truly love 62 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,080 Speaker 3: the first woman, you would be in this situation exactly. 63 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 3: He spoke out about this at home whilst I was 64 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 3: having the toughest time in my life. I cried alone 65 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 3: over my dreams and plans, everything we had together. He 66 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 3: also told me that in order to clear his head, 67 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 3: he would need to leave the house and spend some 68 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 3: time on his own. That coworker had offered him her 69 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 3: spare bedroom and he was gonna take it. I knew 70 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 3: exactly where he was going with this, dude. 71 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 4: Come on, come on, you're you're not trying to work 72 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 4: out anything. 73 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 3: I asked for his help organizing the rest of the 74 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 3: school year as I was commuting, and I promised him 75 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 3: that as soon as the school year was over, I 76 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 3: would look for an apartment closer to my work, and 77 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 3: me and our daughter will move out and he can 78 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 3: have the house to himself for his healing. I found 79 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 3: an apartment almost immediately and we moved. He visited us 80 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 3: one week in a month, and brought his chaos with 81 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 3: him every time. The new home had become a safe 82 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 3: haven that we cherished, and he took it over as 83 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: soon as he appeared, and it felt like I wasn't 84 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 3: breathing until he finally left. After six months of living 85 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 3: like this, I decided I had given things enough time 86 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 3: to mend, and they had not. I was still hurt 87 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: and bitter, and he was still cagey about what was 88 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 3: going on and what his ultimate decision really was. I 89 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 3: told him I was done living like this and I 90 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 3: wanted a divorce. 91 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 4: Nikes, nice, don't be the other woman. No, he already 92 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 4: told you that you are not a priority for him. 93 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 4: He already told you that he's going to live with 94 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 4: this woman, that he was emotionally cheating on you with. 95 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 4: He's done, he's done. 96 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 3: Out of here. He absolutely lost his crap and left 97 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 3: and drove back to our old house in the middle 98 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 3: of the night just to get away from me. A 99 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: week later, he told me the coworker is pregnant and 100 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 3: he was angry that I didn't want to even try 101 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 3: and fix our marriage. Sophia, how long does it How 102 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 3: long does it take for a woman to find out 103 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 3: that she is pregnant. 104 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 4: It's around like a six eight. 105 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 3: Weeks six eight weeks, okay, so yeah, sometimes you can 106 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 3: find her earlier, but like that doesn't make that doesn't 107 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,159 Speaker 3: make sense, Like you're mad at her, really, like three. 108 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 4: Weeks maybe six eight weeks is when you tell the people. 109 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 3: Chat when when is that? 110 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 4: But like two to three weeks. 111 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,559 Speaker 3: Basically you did something three weeks earlier and there's proof 112 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 3: of that, and you're mad that your wife didn't What 113 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 3: if she did want to fix your marriage and then 114 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: all of a sudden boom, oh, by the way, she's pregnant. 115 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 3: Co workers pregnant, that's what. Yeah, So like like you're 116 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 3: the other one, you're like the wife and you're like, yeah, 117 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 3: I'm gonna fix it out and boom cok, Like that 118 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 3: may just make any sense? 119 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 5: Now, your actions also have to line up with your words. 120 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. Since then, he has gone increasingly more hostile and 121 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 3: accusatory in his communication with me. 122 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 4: Of course he is. 123 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 3: He blames me for breaking up the marriage and abandoning 124 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 3: him during his crisis. 125 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 4: Dude, he's the one who literally chose another person. 126 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 3: He says he was not himself and has no idea 127 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 3: why he did the things he did, but that I 128 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 3: was the one who left. He claims I was no 129 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 3: help when he needed me, and that I clearly mentally 130 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 3: abandoned our relationship long before, more than three years prior. 131 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 3: He tells me, I'm cold and calculating and clearly not 132 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 3: the person he thought I was. 133 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 4: That's insane to have the audacity to tell your partner 134 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 4: that you emotionally cheated on, that they're not the person 135 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 4: that you thought they were, because they're leaving you for 136 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 4: emotionally cheating on them. 137 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 3: You know what, this this career, just like working here 138 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 3: has maybe become I want to become a speaker or 139 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 3: men's mental whatever, like so they can fix their health 140 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 3: because like divorces are like fifty six percent. Like I 141 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: feel like men need to like figure out what's going 142 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 3: on in their head before they get into a relationship. 143 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 3: Us this doesn't happen, yes, And dude, like I'm even 144 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 3: scared to even like figure out what it is now 145 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 3: a days with the Internet and all the all the 146 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 3: in cels and all this stuff. 147 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 4: Like, ah, yeah, men don't. Men don't do any interior 148 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 4: work before they get into a relationship. 149 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 3: It's true, it's true. 150 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 4: And then they're like, I wonder why it's not working out. 151 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,359 Speaker 5: It's not me. 152 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 4: It couldn't possibly be me. 153 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 5: It's not me, And I haven't talked about any of 154 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 5: my problems, so it's. 155 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 4: Not to me. I never told them about any of 156 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 4: my emotions. 157 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 3: I will say I have some really solid friends here 158 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 3: in LA and it does take courage to talk about 159 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 3: your emotions. But every time something happens, they come to 160 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 3: me and they're like, yo, what's up. And I, you know, 161 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 3: I'm vulnerable, and I tell them what's up and they listen, 162 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 3: and like, yeah, they'll give me some insight, but they'll listen. 163 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 3: And I think that's the biggest thing. And thank you 164 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 3: Keon thank you, Dakota, thank you, Sam, thank you John, 165 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 3: thank you Christian and Maly You're always there. I'm talking 166 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 3: about my sorry, but also Sophia, my rock solid galfriend 167 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 3: through all this and feel I honestly the key for 168 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 3: me to have a healthy relationship with women is to 169 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 3: get to the insight on like the woman mind and 170 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 3: like you know, you're always helping me. I do think 171 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 3: like having a girl best friend does help out with 172 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 3: situations like that. 173 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, no, they know howthy females work. 174 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's my best guy friend. 175 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 5: And do you listen to him? 176 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 4: Yes? 177 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 3: It is sometimes. 178 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 5: Do you listen to us when we give you advice? Sofia, Wow, 179 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 5: how he figured out how the turntables? 180 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 4: Hey, I'm listening. I'm listening now. 181 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 5: Okay, I'll hold you to that one, sister. 182 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 4: If I make different mistakes in the future, don't worry about. 183 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 5: We're gonna go Nana Nana boo boo. That you smell 184 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 5: like stinky doodoo. 185 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 4: Don't worry about that. 186 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 3: I understand that he is not well. He finally did 187 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 3: go to therapy. Yes, I explained a lot of his 188 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 3: action with that in mind at first, So I am 189 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 3: in a hole. He claims I have a come taking 190 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: his daughter away and leaving. We got some relevant comments. 191 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 4: You're literally not the a hole. I don't understand he's 192 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 4: gaslighting you. He's gaslighting you. Yeah, he betrayed you. 193 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 3: Okay, I think big Basin, that's a good comment here. 194 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 3: You took your daughter and yourself from an unstable living 195 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 3: situation exactly. Maybe it had become stable tomorrow, but you 196 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 3: gave it a lot of time. His mental health crisis 197 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 3: may mean he's out of his mind, but either he's 198 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 3: still responsible for his actions or he's not. If he is, 199 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 3: you left him because of his actions seems recent. If 200 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 3: he's not responsible for his actions, then you left him 201 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 3: because he's deeply in crisis for an extended period and 202 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 3: you can't continue to live that way, or have your 203 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 3: daughter lived that way. I'm curious and concerned about your 204 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 3: daughter's experience of this. Those are the people my heart 205 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 3: goes out to the most, your daughter and your husband's 206 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 3: new child. Because everyone else ahle or not with some 207 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 3: form of volunteer for this. The kids get no choice 208 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 3: but all the consequences. But I don't think leaving your 209 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 3: husband while he's in crisis is unacceptable, especially giving the 210 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 3: long duration and terrible experience for you of that crisis, 211 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 3: not the ahole ope response. Honestly, it's our daughter I'm 212 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 3: mostly worried about in this situation. He's clearly has changed 213 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 3: a lot, no matter how much his mental health plays 214 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 3: into it. Everything we use to be so much of 215 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 3: one mind has changed for him. He will not keep 216 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 3: his opinions to himself when our daughter visits him, and honestly, 217 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 3: I'm left to pick up the pieces when she comes 218 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 3: and slowly opens up to what her father has been 219 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 3: talking during his visit. I'm really trying my best not 220 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 3: to ever speak ill of him in front of her, 221 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 3: and I basically keep my family in the dark because 222 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 3: I don't want them to have an attitude towards him 223 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,839 Speaker 3: that could reflect on her. He seems to have no 224 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 3: such issues, as I'm slowly finding out. He choos me 225 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: up in private conversations, which I can deal with, but 226 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 3: he also says stuff like after your mother punted me out, 227 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 3: I can't help you anymore, and all I want is 228 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 3: to have our family back to our daughter, and I 229 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 3: feel like that's horribly unfair. 230 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 4: He's trying to manipulate your daughter into thinking that it's 231 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,719 Speaker 4: also your fault. He's using your daughter against you. 232 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, dude, he's really wallowing in his misery 233 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 3: right now. And I still have sympathy for him, but 234 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 3: he is burdening his daughter and painting me as an 235 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 3: absolute villain. He still hasn't told her about the new baby, 236 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 3: and honestly, I'm a little loss at what to do 237 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 3: with all this. 238 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 4: I think dang, someone said, Frank the Bug says, daughter 239 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 4: needs therapy big time. Oh, big time, because I mean, 240 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 4: even though op, he's not doing anything, but this daughter 241 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 4: is caught in between two parents who are fighting messily 242 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 4: and involving this daughter even though he's not. I mean 243 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 4: it's not like the dad is doing it. Oh he's 244 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 4: not doing it, but like it's still this daughter is 245 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 4: becoming the there is in between like a tugg o 246 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 4: war right now. 247 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really. 248 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 4: Frank the Bug says, this is the AMMO for a divorce. 249 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 4: She needs to gather everything she can. 250 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, get the receipts going, get them lined up, ducks 251 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 3: in a row. 252 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 4: Just know, like, you are not the problem here. He is, 253 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 4: and it doesn't I think it does explain some of 254 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 4: his actions if he was in a mental health crisis. 255 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 3: You don't know. 256 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 4: Anyone your time or your your presence if they're actively hurting, 257 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 4: regardless of whether or not they're in an emotional You 258 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 4: know mental health crisis facts. 259 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 3: True. We'll got an update to do it four days later. Hello, 260 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 3: and I have been reading all the comments on the 261 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 3: original posts and try to answer as many of the 262 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 3: questions as I could. The original post can be found 263 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 3: through my user page. I want to write an update 264 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 3: since my post seem to raise some questions, and also 265 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 3: thank you for your engagement on the post. It's mean 266 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 3: a lot to me. The divorce is in process, hey, 267 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 3: and I have not seen him in person for some 268 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 3: four months. At this point. He mostly keeps radio silent 269 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 3: until it seems he has to unload some hurt on me. 270 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 3: I've kept my contact to him at a minimum, only 271 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 3: ever messaging him in things regarding our daughter or requesting 272 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 3: him to react to official paperwork or to his electric 273 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 3: bills that I have transferred to him due to the 274 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 3: circumstances in which we started this separation. Originally, I paid 275 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 3: most of his living expenses, mainly since I have a 276 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 3: steady job and get paid double his set. This girl 277 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 3: is paying for him, what does he offer nothing. He's 278 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 3: still very much incapacitated by his mental health issues, and 279 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 3: I wanted to alleviate some of the practical matters for him. 280 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 3: Now that we are pulling everything apart. He has been, 281 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:20,559 Speaker 3: maybe personally, making this into a very slow and frustrating process. 282 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,439 Speaker 3: I still pay for his electricity, and he reimburses those 283 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 3: bills for me at the end of each month. Sometimes 284 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 3: he needs encouraging. Usually this leads to him messaging me 285 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: all day, usually complains on how I'm now raising our 286 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 3: daughter and now that I've made him obsolete his words, 287 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 3: telling me to get a new dad to help me 288 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 3: with the job as soon as possible. He seems to 289 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 3: try very hard to push my buttons by saying things 290 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 3: like it must be very hard for you to send 291 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,680 Speaker 3: your daughter to someone you loathe and hate so much. 292 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 3: And if I make the mistake of losing my temper 293 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 3: even for one curse word, he will turn immediately and 294 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 3: tell me to calm down, stop spitting acid, and maybe 295 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 3: we should continue our discussion when I'm not so wound up. 296 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 4: He's gas sighting you. He's gaslighting you so hard, yikes. 297 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 3: I have mainly chosen not to engage in these conversations 298 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 3: if when they start going off the rails. I have 299 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 3: all of his outbursts in writing. I am also currently 300 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 3: under the impression that the coworker is not interested in 301 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 3: a relationship with him anymore. All of those who ask, yes, 302 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 3: the baby is his by his own word, he still 303 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: has not told our daughter about any of it. I 304 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 3: have chosen to give him an ultimatum on the matter. 305 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 3: I will bring it up one more time when we 306 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 3: have our official meeting with our child wherefore of officer 307 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 3: next month. That's the official route where we live. And 308 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 3: if he still refuses, I will take it to myself 309 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 3: and tell our daughter the truth. I remember when my 310 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 3: cousin found out her parents were divorce. I remember when 311 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 3: she found out she had like a half brother. She 312 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 3: was kind of like shocking. I didn't even understand it. Yeah, 313 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 3: I was like I don't know eleven. Yeah, I was 314 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 3: like what half brother? Like half of you? Is he 315 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 3: missing aside? And then I kind of figured it out 316 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, well, oh, uncle Shane bro 317 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 3: that guy that that guy's read a story, dude one time. 318 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 3: This is so messed up. I'm sorry. She'll never watched this. 319 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 3: I was like driving by one of my buddies parents workplace. 320 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, yeah, that's where my buddy's mom works. 321 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 3: She's like, oh yeah, behind, that's the hotel where I 322 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 3: caught my husband cheating on me. 323 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, I feel so bad. 324 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 3: It was the rest of the like five minutes were 325 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 3: just kind of like, why would you reing it out? 326 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 3: It must have I don't know, it must have like 327 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 3: got got to where we dude. That was so funny. 328 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 3: I remember my grandma. She was there the moment my 329 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 3: aunt caught her husband cheating. Because the way that they 330 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 3: figured it out was, I think like whenever you dialed numbers, 331 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 3: it shows up on TV like who's calling you? And 332 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 3: she found out that he was calling from a different 333 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 3: area code rather than his cell phone, and she was like, 334 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 3: he's like, no, baby, I'm not cheating on you while 335 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 3: he was at the other guy's house. Crazy. Sorry. So 336 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 3: I don't mean to put out family drama, but I 337 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 3: know they'll never watch this. They never bring it up. 338 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 3: But Thanksgiving, Riley, they never do. They never bring up 339 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 3: Oh I remember that one time you said this on. 340 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 5: And you know you have to do it at your wedding, 341 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 5: and the code is gonna be, like I told you. 342 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 3: So, something bad's gonna happen. A code is gonna be 343 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 3: in the exact of the wedding. 344 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 5: He told me so. He told me so. 345 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 3: He's gonna be like, you should have had it with 346 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 3: just her, You should have had a second wedding. You 347 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 3: should have had a sacred wedding. Riley, that's what he's 348 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 3: gonna do. 349 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, he's gonna come up here right now. It's like 350 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 5: secret wedding, secret wedding. 351 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 3: So many of you have encouraged me to do this 352 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 3: for her sake and for the sake of our relationship, 353 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 3: and I thank you for sharing your experiences with me. 354 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 3: I have also contacted her school therapist and the curator 355 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 3: and for them of the issue she is facing and 356 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 3: the ones distilled to come. That's so smart. I wish 357 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 3: they did that for the other kid because her grades 358 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,959 Speaker 3: were failing and she was acting out. I'm hoping they 359 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 3: will offer her some scheduled help since I know she 360 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 3: is so shy and telling me everything. She is the 361 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 3: most important thing in my life and I am as 362 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 3: sorry as I am for her having to go through 363 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 3: this essentially because of my choices. I refuse to take 364 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 3: all the blame now, and I'm ready to shift it 365 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 3: where it belongs. Personally, I'm a much happier person these days. 366 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,360 Speaker 3: I feel bursts of gratefulness and true happiness the days 367 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 3: just by watching her eat her dinner and talk to 368 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 3: me about her day at dinner in our clean and 369 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 3: peaceful home. Even my houseplants are thriving. As silly as 370 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 3: it sounds, that's kind of crazy. 371 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 4: When you got a good environment, the plants like it. 372 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 3: I need more studies on this. I finally, Oh, my goodness, 373 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 3: what okay? 374 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 5: A family member. 375 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,679 Speaker 3: I have certain texts like vibrations of certain family members, 376 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 3: and a family member did just text me It wasn't 377 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 3: about that, that would. 378 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 4: Why are you talking about us? 379 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 3: It was my brother. He was saying he could visit 380 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 3: the may Maybe that's nice. I have finally opened up 381 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 3: about all of this to some friends and my siblings, 382 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 3: and they have all been super supportive. And my siblings 383 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 3: were clearly shocked, but both did bring up that they 384 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,119 Speaker 3: are somehow not surprised it went this way. They seem 385 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,439 Speaker 3: to have seen things a bit more clearly from Afar, 386 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 3: just like the community did thank you from the bottom 387 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 3: of my heart. I feel like my daughter and me 388 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 3: are going to be just fine in the end. Some 389 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 3: relevant comments. It is also shocking that when people from 390 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 3: the outside see these things and like, ah, makes sense. 391 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, people like have seen the relationship progress and 392 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,919 Speaker 4: they're like, yeah, I kind of saw that coming, and 393 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,679 Speaker 4: they're like, oh, everyone saw it but me. 394 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, that hurts. That hurts. 395 00:18:58,760 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 4: Cool. 396 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,400 Speaker 3: Yes, I actually laughed out loud of the part where 397 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 3: he told Ope his affair partner was pregnant, but he 398 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,919 Speaker 3: can't believe Op doesn't want to fix the marriage in 399 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 3: the same breath, like, buddy, do you hear yourself? 400 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 4: Because also he was like, yeah, it was only an 401 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,120 Speaker 4: emotional affair, and then we find out that it's literally 402 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 4: a physical affair and he's having a child with this person. 403 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 4: He was like, but you don't want to fix the marriage? 404 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,600 Speaker 3: Ope, Honestly, at this point had already made up my mind, 405 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,719 Speaker 3: And when I sat there and listened to his rants, 406 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 3: I got the feeling that so much more was to come. 407 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 3: When he finally told me about the pregnancy, I newly 408 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 3: laughed out loud myself. It was so absurd that it 409 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 3: felt like the whole drama had been turned into a facade, farse, farce, 410 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 3: like people would never believe me if I told them 411 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 3: the whole story. And with that reaction, I realized that 412 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 3: I was really mentally in a better place, one foot 413 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 3: out the door and not ever going back. This was 414 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 3: not my crap show to deal with anymore. At Punt 415 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 3: thirty one eighty six says, stop paying the electric bill, 416 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 3: stop being a sympathetic or empathetic with him, Do not engage. 417 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 3: You need to do this for yourself. You owe that 418 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 3: to yourself, OPI. My friends have also told me to 419 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 3: just drop the electricity contract from my plan and give 420 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 3: it to him to figure out. Logically, I know it 421 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 3: takes one call for him to make a new contract. 422 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 3: He gives me excuses I know are false. But since 423 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,120 Speaker 3: I know how passive his mental health issues have made him, 424 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:38,400 Speaker 3: and how insurmountable insurmountable small things can become, I find 425 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 3: it so difficult to do this and go back on 426 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 3: my word. There is also the fear how making our 427 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,959 Speaker 3: current bad relationship even worse will neverly reflect on our 428 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 3: daughter and getting through all the legalities, legalities and getting 429 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 3: through all the legalities, I can't wait until this is 430 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 3: all done and dusted. Update two to three months later. 431 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it's tricky because you're trying to get divorced, 432 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 4: and also your husband is actively trying to manipulate your daughter, 433 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 4: which will make custody agreement really difficult. Later on, Yeah, 434 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 4: I think doctor a lawyer. Oh, absolutely get custody of 435 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 4: this kid as fast as you possibly can. Three months later, Hello, 436 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 4: redd it, it's been months since my original post and update. 437 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 4: People were very nice to me and offered me some 438 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 4: really good advice and a lot of emotional support and criticism. 439 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 4: I took a lot of it to heart. I finally 440 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 4: separated the rest of our finances, stopped paying his bills, 441 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 4: and made official agreements on child support in custody, which 442 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 4: remained shared for now as he went back on his 443 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 4: word to give it to me. I'm contested he did 444 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 4: not agree to sign an official visitation agreement because he 445 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 4: cannot commit to it right now. God can can't commit 446 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 4: to seeing his child. 447 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 5: He can commit to cheating. 448 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, he can't commit to anything right now. 449 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 3: He can commit to make a new baby. 450 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 4: Mm hmmm. 451 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,719 Speaker 3: I offered him every other weekend and a half of 452 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 3: all holidays. He has started to meet our daughter more often, 453 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 3: though since nowadays she actually visits him on her own 454 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 3: free will. It seems like their relationship has gotten a 455 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 3: bit better lately, which I'm of course happy about, as. 456 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,919 Speaker 4: Long as he's not freaking saying bad things about you. 457 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he better not be better not be. He has 458 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 3: been absolutely terrible towards me, though. He started a campaign 459 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 3: of passive aggressive texting after I asked him to be civil. 460 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 3: Now every message is overly syrupy and filled with overflowing apologies. 461 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 3: I ignore this until he decided to talk to me 462 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 3: face to face. When he went to sign the agreements, 463 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 3: he told me his therapist told him to talk to 464 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 3: me for closure and speak his mind, so he did. 465 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,200 Speaker 3: He once again just explained to me how hard the 466 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 3: last year has been, and how I tore the marriage apart, 467 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 3: how he was not ready to accept this divorce and 468 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 3: never will be, how nothing in his current life is 469 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 3: what he wanted or asked for, and considers it an insult. 470 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 3: If I congratulated him over the upcoming baby, et cetera. 471 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,920 Speaker 3: This felt really off, considering he just had moved in 472 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 3: with his affair partner. He originally tried to hide this 473 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 3: too and was evasive, but of course our daughter found 474 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 3: out the next time she visited him, and he also 475 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 3: told me, I know it is pointless, but I feel 476 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 3: I needed to say something, so I told him that 477 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,919 Speaker 3: he completely continues to ignore all my pain in your 478 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 3: mental work. I had to do over this whole thing, 479 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,679 Speaker 3: and I can't help the fact that my love passed 480 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 3: away in the process. He says, I didn't even. 481 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 4: Try this man, the audacity of this man. All you 482 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 4: had to do was try and keep it in your pants, 483 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 4: but you couldn't couldn't do that, and now you're blaming 484 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:51,919 Speaker 4: your wife. 485 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 5: It's my wife's fault that I'm jeeves. 486 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 4: Fault that I couldn't be faithful. 487 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 3: He even said my parents were more supportive of him 488 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 3: because they had exchanged pleasure trees, having met briefly a 489 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,639 Speaker 3: few weeks prior. His coworkers were more supportive than me. 490 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 3: I told him to look in the mirror and that 491 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:13,199 Speaker 3: his little passive aggressive game was so obvious. Clearly hit 492 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:17,119 Speaker 3: home because he stopped immediately after. He has been snooping 493 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 3: over my dating life through our daughter and is very 494 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 3: jealous say so and gets very verbally aggressive over it. 495 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 4: How hypocritical. He's like, I know I cheated on you 496 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 4: physically and had a baby with someone else, but you 497 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 4: can't have your own love life. 498 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, he's just taking l's left and right. He's such 499 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 5: a loser, el l. It's an l seven WEENI Now. 500 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 3: The thing that brought me back to you here tonight 501 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 3: is that despite my life having turned so much better 502 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 3: than the last few months, and me and my daughter 503 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 3: have been happier in a long while, I fell into 504 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 3: an unexpected hole today. He was supposed to have her 505 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 3: over this weekend but ended up canceling. The reason he 506 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 3: gave me was different than what he had gave her daughter, 507 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 3: so I knew he'd lied to someone. Yesterday, he blew 508 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,919 Speaker 3: up on me over texts that originally started as a 509 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 3: discussion over our daughter's visits. He stated the same old 510 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 3: song of me being so petty over such a minor 511 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 3: thing as his affair that was apparently not even a 512 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 3: real affair at first. 513 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 4: It wasn't even a real affair at first, like I 514 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 4: only am physically cheated with her like later. 515 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 5: This guy's delusional, bro man is crazy. 516 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,360 Speaker 4: He's like it was just an affair. It's like, no biggie. 517 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,879 Speaker 4: He's like, you did the worst thing. You left me. 518 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 3: You gave up on me. 519 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 4: He gave up on this after I had a little affair. 520 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 3: He wrote that my parents were right about me being 521 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 3: too sensitive. He knows how low of a blow this is, 522 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 3: since he has been supporting me through my issues with 523 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 3: my parents, invalidating all of my gripes my whole life 524 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 3: with you are too sensitive. I told him how low 525 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,719 Speaker 3: that was and that he does not get to quantify 526 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 3: my pain, and he totally lost his marbles, to the 527 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 3: point where I had to stop reading his messages because 528 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,360 Speaker 3: I was afraid I would start to cry. In the office. 529 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 3: This morning, our daughter runs to me crying happy tears 530 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 3: and jumping of joy. Our father had center pictures of 531 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 3: the newly born little sister. I congratulated the new official 532 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 3: older sister when we gushed over the pictures a little. 533 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 3: Throughout the day, my mood has just been awful. I've 534 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 3: gotten messages for my family asking how I am, because daughter, 535 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 3: of course told everyone, which is totally okay, but it's 536 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 3: starting to weigh on me. I have been tired and 537 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 3: easily irritated. All of a sudden, I felt like I 538 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 3: had no one to talk to, no one who had 539 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 3: really understand someone unbiased and adult to talk to. Those 540 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 3: have been my hardest moments in all of this, because 541 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 3: because I lost my best friend when we fell apart. 542 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 3: Whenever I feel like I really need to open up 543 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 3: and spin my heart, it reminds me of how alone 544 00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 3: I feel. 545 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:04,680 Speaker 4: All stop, just let just let Opie live. You need 546 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 4: to get this divorce and get custody of your kid 547 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 4: and leave this man. 548 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,880 Speaker 3: She just feels so lonely. Is this a normal reaction? 549 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 3: I've been fine and very emotionally cut off from him 550 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,160 Speaker 3: for so long, and somehow the birth of his baby 551 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 3: send me into sudden nose doc today. 552 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 4: Of course that's normal. You found out this, like, you know, 553 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,679 Speaker 4: really big news that your ex partner just had a 554 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,719 Speaker 4: baby with the person that he cheated on you with. 555 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,640 Speaker 4: That's that, of course, is going to bring back old feelings. 556 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 5: Regardless of how of cour as well. Don't forget that. 557 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,919 Speaker 4: Gaes sighting you and it's still like harassing you and stuff. 558 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 4: Of course, that's going to bring up feelings. 559 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 5: I guarantee you. What happened with op is like all 560 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 5: the emotions firally subsided and like she's like, okay, I'm okay, 561 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 5: I'm doing great with for my own and doing great 562 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 5: by myself. And then the baby made all those emotions 563 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 5: come up again, and it's rins in real. 564 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 4: You find out new information and it frickin hurts. 565 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I needed to sell all of 566 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 3: this in my lowest point in a long while. So 567 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,199 Speaker 3: thank you for reading. If I fell at linking my 568 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 3: previous post here, please look into my profile. They're my 569 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,000 Speaker 3: only post. Thank you. We got another update ooh nine 570 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 3: months later. 571 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 1: Oh baby, Hey, it's sam' your og host here reading 572 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,160 Speaker 1: it back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads 573 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:19,760 Speaker 1: from our sponsor. 574 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 3: Hello redditors, been a while since I've posted. Honestly, at 575 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 3: this point, I feel that the title no longer fits 576 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 3: as I have realized my error, but I will keep 577 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 3: for Clarity's sake. First of all, to everyone who offered 578 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,360 Speaker 3: help and advice or just reached out to give virtual hug, 579 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 3: thank you so much. I remember the last time I posted, 580 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 3: I was feeling a sudden setback due to my daughter's 581 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 3: little sister being born. My girl has been so happy 582 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 3: over her and loves her dearly. I really hope the 583 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: sister gets to keep a relationship with her no matter 584 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 3: what happens with their dad. Most of my personal life 585 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 3: is going great. I finally managers just save enough to 586 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 3: buy us an apartment and have been busy renovating it. 587 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 3: My work life is great. I really love my job 588 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 3: and I got a promotion which really helped on the 589 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 3: house hunt. And for my siblings and friends, they have 590 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 3: truly saved me and my mental health during this journey. 591 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 3: I'm very happy where I am in life and have 592 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 3: no real drive to find a partner. All right, that's great, dude. 593 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 4: And that's you know, when you're happy and you're not, 594 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 4: you know, in a bad place, then you can you 595 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 4: know love will come, but you don't have to focus 596 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 4: on that right now. Just focus on yourself now. 597 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 3: Sometimes I do feel that maybe a bit too jaded 598 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 3: and harsh when it comes to love. I don't like that, 599 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 3: but I guess it too will heal over time. All 600 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 3: this hurts my ax as I gets here. After he hears 601 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 3: from these things from our daughter, he wrote to me 602 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 3: that it feels like he was just dragging me back, 603 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 3: and his absence has now allowed me to thrive. My 604 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 3: ex husband is not doing well, of course, all I 605 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 3: hear of him is what he tells me and what 606 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 3: my daughter tells me. In passing, we had to make 607 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 3: a new child support agreement as the one we made 608 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: originally at a fixed period, and that hearing I got 609 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 3: to hear a lot about his current state of affairs. 610 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 3: And I have to say, the new woman of the 611 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 3: house is not playing around. Oh. She has made him 612 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 3: pay all the utilities and groceries and all miscellaneous household fixes, 613 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 3: whilst she just pays her home loan. I was impressed. 614 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 3: He did complain during the hearing that he barely has 615 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 3: money for going to therapy as it is, and when 616 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 3: it turned out that the child support had been miscalculated 617 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 3: last time Stay paid for him, he went to total 618 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,719 Speaker 3: despair over the amounts. Oh. He started messing me right 619 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 3: after the hearing and applied he no longer has money 620 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 3: for therapy and that I should know that he is 621 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 3: the only breadrunner in the house and that he will 622 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 3: not be able to have her daughter over so much 623 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 3: now since she eats like a horse and he can't 624 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 3: afford it. I reminded him that she eats on the 625 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 3: other twenty eight days of the month too, and not 626 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 3: just two weekend she spends with him. This summer. He 627 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 3: agreed to have over for a few weeks during his 628 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 3: holiday because I agreed he wouldn't have to pay child 629 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 3: support for that month. The situation is sad and it's 630 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 3: not getting better. Oh that sucks. That's on him though. Yeah, 631 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 3: what is his mental health crisis that he's going through. 632 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,280 Speaker 3: I don't understand people go through hard times. 633 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 4: Well, I think that, honestly. I think in part he is. 634 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 4: I'm sure he may be going through mental health crisis, 635 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 4: but he is blaming every action that he makes on 636 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 4: this mental health crisis, which you can't do. You have 637 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 4: you have to take a certain amount of responsibility for 638 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 4: your actions. 639 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,480 Speaker 3: I really do. I think it's the time I have 640 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 3: to take this off. 641 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 5: You're hot to take it off. Take it off? He's 642 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 5: taking it off. 643 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 4: Oh not the not the ripped whole shirt, dude. 644 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 5: I love this. That's his favorite shirt. 645 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 4: Someone stitches. We need Angie to stitch it up a 646 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 4: little bit. 647 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 3: I love my shirt. 648 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 4: I got holes in my shirt holes. 649 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 5: Oh show me your holes. 650 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 3: I love it so much. It's my favorite shirt. I 651 00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 3: got it for two bucks, dude. 652 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 4: This is like Linus Linus blanket, Charlie Brown. 653 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 5: Wait Rightley, let me see that other hole of your Oh. 654 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 4: Okay, keep reading. 655 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 5: No, let me see your right hole. Why because it's 656 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 5: really big. 657 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:10,680 Speaker 3: It is really big. 658 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 4: Okay, keep reading. 659 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 3: Well, we'll figure it out. This is the last straw 660 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 3: for me. The last straw for me came a few 661 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 3: weeks ago, when she was spending time at his place. 662 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 3: He had already picked a fight a few days prior, 663 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 3: but I had refused to engage, so he stormed out, 664 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: meaning he left my message unread for three days. The 665 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 3: silent treatment I used to get when we were still 666 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 3: together was exactly like this too. He clearly had been 667 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 3: building up steam during those days, and then all of 668 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,240 Speaker 3: a sudden blew up my phone with text messages after 669 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 3: message telling me how bad I was at this, meaning 670 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 3: arguing I assumed, and twisting everything I had said into 671 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 3: a version that made me look like a total a hole. 672 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 3: I once again refused to engage and told him that 673 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 3: this no longer concerns me and that he should find 674 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 3: someone else to argue with. That angered him so that 675 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 3: he swapped tactic and told me that he had shown 676 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 3: her daughter these messages to prove that I am not 677 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 3: so nice, I pretend to be. That he got me 678 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 3: from zero to furious in an instant, though not for 679 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 3: the reasons he implied. I told him that this was 680 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 3: hands down the most selfish thing he could have done, 681 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 3: and that this is his daughter he is damaging with 682 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 3: this behavior. Shit, why are you weaponizing her? I told 683 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 3: him I'm absolutely dumb with him, and I will not 684 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 3: be in contact with him anymore apart from issues directly 685 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,320 Speaker 3: related to our daughter and her matters. When he totally 686 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 3: swapped personality, it felt like and started with these really whiny, 687 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 3: self pitning why are you being so mean to me? 688 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 3: Messages that then talked with I still love you and 689 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 3: weird bs ew, this is horrible. I was no longer answering, 690 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 3: so the last message he sent was to say that 691 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,080 Speaker 3: he in fact had not shown her any of my 692 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 3: messages and that my sanctity was intact. I went to 693 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 3: pick up my daughter the next day as I really 694 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 3: felt uneasy and really needed to personally be there and 695 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 3: maybe I could get her to talk to me during 696 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 3: the car ride if he had been talking his truths again, 697 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,640 Speaker 3: And as he took up his stop and had some 698 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 3: ice cream, she quietly asked me to please don't take 699 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 3: me away from dad. He's manipulating everyone goodness gracious. 700 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 5: And he's never being accountable for it is. You can't 701 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,880 Speaker 5: keep getting away with this poorable sound like a Pokemon? 702 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 3: What is that? Uh? Toad? That's toad, that's. 703 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:42,399 Speaker 5: The butterfree was pretty good. 704 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:47,359 Speaker 3: My heart absolutely broke. I asked her why she would 705 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,120 Speaker 3: think that, and she revealed to me that my ex 706 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 3: husband had told her about our custody disagreements in the 707 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,480 Speaker 3: form of mommy wants full custody. 708 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 4: Of course he freaking dead. Of course he freaking dead. 709 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 4: And he's like, I don't want to leave you, but 710 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,799 Speaker 4: mommy wants full custody, So I probably won't be able 711 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,279 Speaker 4: to see you anymore because mommy doesn't want me to. 712 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,799 Speaker 3: Dude, if you were playing the same game as him, 713 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,879 Speaker 3: you would make him look like the absolute worst person 714 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 3: on this way. 715 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 4: You're a good person and you're trying to make sure 716 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,720 Speaker 4: that he has a good relationship with his daughter. 717 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 3: You'd be like, oh, yeah, as your dad try to 718 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 3: feed you, hay yet because he says you eat like 719 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 3: a horse. He thinks you're a horse playing that game. 720 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 4: But you can't do that. 721 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 3: I explained to her that even if I had full custody, 722 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 3: it would not take visitation if it was deemed to 723 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 3: be good for her. She said she wanted her dad 724 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 3: to be there for her school graduation, and I said 725 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 3: her father has all the rights in the world to 726 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,240 Speaker 3: be at the school of him, and all she needed 727 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 3: to do was to make sure she invited him. And 728 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,440 Speaker 3: I know this will now work in my favor and 729 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 3: not his. I have invited him to her birthday parties too, 730 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:57,879 Speaker 3: and he never comes. I haven't told her this now. 731 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 3: I made sure that she knows I'm not a against 732 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:04,359 Speaker 3: any of this, and by making sure she invites him, 733 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 3: he can now make excuses directly to her. Part of 734 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,439 Speaker 3: me hates having to be in this war at all, 735 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 3: but I feel like he leaves me no choice. A 736 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 3: few days later, she asked me why I'm so mean 737 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 3: to Daddy. I asked her, why does she think that? 738 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 3: She revealed that Dad shown her some of my messages. 739 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 4: Dude, So yes. 740 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,320 Speaker 3: His last message to me was once again alive. 741 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,359 Speaker 4: You need to get custody of your kid because this 742 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 4: is insane, This is wild, This is insane that he 743 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 4: is doing this. 744 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 3: Like, why are we playing these games. Why aren't we 745 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:37,920 Speaker 3: doing this to her? 746 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 4: Stop using your child. 747 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 3: Now, as many of you have been warning me this 748 00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:45,359 Speaker 3: parental alienation and downright mental abuse on her. I called 749 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 3: the local CPS to ask for advice on how to 750 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 3: proceed and if I should file a complaint on him 751 00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 3: and what would follow. My daughter has already been seeing 752 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 3: the school counselor, and as she has now started in 753 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 3: a new school, I will be seeking the same help 754 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 3: from there too, for them to evaluate and refer her 755 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 3: to therapy. I was told by the CPS worker that 756 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 3: this will be documented and that I should weigh now 757 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 3: on the possible consequence. They are totally for me finally 758 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 3: an official complaint, but as we have shared custody, what 759 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 3: will follow is a session for both parties individually for 760 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:26,040 Speaker 3: discussion and then evaluation on the severity of the situation. 761 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 3: The CPS worker said that two things can happen. One 762 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,560 Speaker 3: he takes it to heart because someone else brings it up. 763 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,759 Speaker 3: Or two he gets mad and makes our already strain 764 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:41,720 Speaker 3: communication even worse and possibly retaliates knowing him. It's the latter. 765 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,800 Speaker 3: They also told me that if I get more evidence 766 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 3: on him manipulating our daughter than I should just file anyway. 767 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,600 Speaker 3: Like I have mentioned before, all of our communication is 768 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 3: in rioting, and I have saved all of it. So 769 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 3: I'm currently torn between trying to figure out what kind 770 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,879 Speaker 3: of damage my poor daughter will have of being cut 771 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 3: from her father and little sister, or the trauma of 772 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 3: being mentally manipulated against another parent and being used as 773 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,319 Speaker 3: ammunition in a war that is not her, making I. 774 00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 4: Feel like that's much that's worse than being taken away 775 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,680 Speaker 4: from the dad. Yeah, is hard being used. Yeah, she 776 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 4: needs to be out of that situation. I think it's 777 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 4: always better to have to be out of a situation 778 00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:26,760 Speaker 4: with a manipulated person and then stay in it because 779 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 4: you don't want to like hurt your kid's feelings in 780 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 4: the short term exactly exactly. 781 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,279 Speaker 3: Oh, that's that's so tough. But then the short term 782 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 3: questions are where's daddy? Why can't you let me see daddy? 783 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 3: You are mean to daddy, and those things are going 784 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 3: to come in because he's warm, tongue's worm tongued, whichever 785 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 3: it will be. I know she will blame me, and 786 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 3: that probably is just my punishment too. I failed to 787 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 3: protect her, and those who say I should not protect 788 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:58,080 Speaker 3: my ex and just tell her everything. It's not him. 789 00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 3: I've been trying to protect. 790 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 4: Her, yeah, but for her. But yeah, you're trying to 791 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 4: not like use her, which is what he's doing. You're 792 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 4: trying not to stoop to his level, which is hard 793 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 4: to do when you see him at crap talking you. 794 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:11,719 Speaker 4: But it is the right decision. 795 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 3: She should not be in this situation, but I admit, 796 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,920 Speaker 3: due to his actions here we are anyway. He mocked 797 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 3: me for being so naive that I really thought amical 798 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 3: co parenting was stuff that people can do well. I 799 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 3: sure as crap can't do it alone, and children are 800 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,760 Speaker 3: very perceptive. She knows her father got another woman pregnant, 801 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,240 Speaker 3: as she puts it, but she is also being fed 802 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,319 Speaker 3: this weird narrative by her dad while I clocked out 803 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,279 Speaker 3: of that marriage years ago and was just pretending to 804 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,320 Speaker 3: be All he needed was a hug. But I turned 805 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 3: my back on him and abandoned him like I abandoned 806 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,520 Speaker 3: my parents because I just couldn't get over it, like 807 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 3: everyone else in this planet could. Whoa all his words 808 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,760 Speaker 3: from his rent messages And she does talk to me still, 809 00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,160 Speaker 3: so I can verify he does us really tell these 810 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,719 Speaker 3: things to her and we will tell you more stories 811 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 3: just like this. If you go to your favorite freaking 812 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 3: podcast platform, search up Okay story Time and we have 813 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 3: a plethora of stories just like these. Take this one sovia. 814 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 3: What are your final thoughts before we get to the 815 00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 3: update here? 816 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,640 Speaker 4: Ah, this is so frustrating because again, Nope, he's trying 817 00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,319 Speaker 4: to be the best parent that she can in a 818 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 4: very very tough situation. Linda says it's hard to say 819 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,280 Speaker 4: her dad is lying without calling him a liar. Yeah. 820 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 4: I really just wonder if there's any way that you 821 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:35,320 Speaker 4: can get lawyers in on this, because you need someone 822 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 4: else to mediate this. It's getting it's getting out of hand. 823 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,080 Speaker 3: You can talk to me through my lawyer. A lot 824 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 3: of people do that, Yeah. 825 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 4: I think maybe that's it. It's like, if you can't, 826 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,319 Speaker 4: if you can't be court like, you know, cordial and 827 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 4: you know, talk to our daughter in a respectful way 828 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,720 Speaker 4: about me, then we need to get a lawyer involved. 829 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,000 Speaker 3: I have to. Here's the rest of the story. So 830 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,360 Speaker 3: here we are the good, the bad, and the backcrap insane. 831 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 3: All I can hope is that I can make the 832 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 3: right decision from my daughter and that she could grow 833 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 3: to be healthy and a happy adult. If that requires 834 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,239 Speaker 3: her to come to me one day and ask for 835 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 3: me to justify the things I did and say, then 836 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 3: I'm happy to have the conversation with her. Thank you 837 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 3: everyone for your messages, support and criticisms. And that is 838 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:17,160 Speaker 3: the end of the story. 839 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 4: That's the end of the story. Wow, what a tough, 840 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:21,320 Speaker 4: tough situation. 841 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 3: That is a very tough situation. Parents protect your children, 842 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 3: and this parent is. 843 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,319 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's doing her best, and it's just getting very 844 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 4: hard because you're working with someone who is actively trying 845 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 4: to sabotage you at every turn. Aleana Bain says CPS 846 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 4: is the way to go. The guardian ad litem needs 847 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,920 Speaker 4: to desire the safe place for the kid. It might 848 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 4: be neither of them agreed, it's true. 849 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 3: Agreed. 850 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, And every day Loser says you need to desperately 851 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,760 Speaker 4: get supervised visitations only for the dad. 852 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,319 Speaker 3: Yes, guys, we're gonna read another story. I'm gonna read 853 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,919 Speaker 3: these donos. I'm gonna let you read that one. That's 854 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:55,439 Speaker 3: a big word. 855 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,359 Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're 856 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a 857 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads more. 858 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 4: Sponsors obligatory tip for endometriosis awareness. Thank you uh and 859 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,359 Speaker 4: miss Ray, thank you for the twenty bucks. This last 860 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 4: two weeks has been hard. I really don't want to 861 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,319 Speaker 4: move to PNW Pacific Northwest. This has been my home 862 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 4: since I migrated. I hate goodbyes and I love my 863 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,479 Speaker 4: job and friends. I'm glad I'm able to catch up today. Riley, 864 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 4: don't cut your hair. It's cute. 865 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,960 Speaker 3: Thank you, mistery, and hopefully you can work out a 866 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,359 Speaker 3: situation where you don't have to do that. 867 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,880 Speaker 4: My twin sister tried to force a double wedding and 868 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 4: almost got me arrested. 869 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 3: My cousins tried to do this once. 870 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,840 Speaker 4: What's no joke. Is this your story? 871 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 3: This is not my story, but my cousins try to 872 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:35,879 Speaker 3: do this once. 873 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:36,840 Speaker 5: Are your cousins twins? 874 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,240 Speaker 3: They are, and they marry twins. 875 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,480 Speaker 4: I'm a twenty two year old. That's insane. 876 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,080 Speaker 5: That's insane. 877 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,680 Speaker 4: I'm a twenty two year old female. Here is my story. 878 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:48,600 Speaker 4: I got engaged four years ago. Yeah that might sound crazy, 879 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,399 Speaker 4: but I was. When I got engaged, I was still 880 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,040 Speaker 4: in college and planned on finishing before getting married. By 881 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,320 Speaker 4: the way, this comes from radiant anywhere fifty three to 882 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,799 Speaker 4: fifty four on the Arslash Shokey storytime Separate It. So 883 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 4: my fiance, at twenty five year old male, decided to 884 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,759 Speaker 4: wait until I graduated, which happened this year, and we 885 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:11,279 Speaker 4: immediately started wedding planning. My graduation was in March and 886 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 4: my wedding was supposed to be in July. I was 887 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,640 Speaker 4: happy to be. I was so happy to be married 888 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,600 Speaker 4: to the love of my life. But this is where 889 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:21,000 Speaker 4: everything went wrong. I have a twin sister and she 890 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 4: got engaged last year twenty twenty three, and she and 891 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,200 Speaker 4: her fiance were not planning to get married anytime soon 892 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,520 Speaker 4: until I announced my wedding date. I and my sister 893 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,960 Speaker 4: are not close at all. Even though we were twins, 894 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,800 Speaker 4: we shared everything from clothes to a house to even 895 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:39,080 Speaker 4: at one point boys oh huh. But we grew apart 896 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,040 Speaker 4: because she was angry when I got engaged without her anyway. 897 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,319 Speaker 4: We just stopped talking until last year when my mom 898 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 4: told her about her engage, told me about her engagement, 899 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,840 Speaker 4: and we went out to celebrate it. We did not 900 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,600 Speaker 4: even speak to each other. I told my family about 901 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 4: my wedding date at a family dinner at my parents' 902 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:59,480 Speaker 4: house and everyone was excited except my sister. But I 903 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,960 Speaker 4: didn't let anything ruin my night. So preparations for my 904 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,759 Speaker 4: wedding started, and I already found the perfect dress, the 905 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,399 Speaker 4: perfect venue, and my invitations were already out. All that 906 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,920 Speaker 4: was left was for that day to come. Little did 907 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:18,000 Speaker 4: I know my sister had other plans. Oh, three weeks 908 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,960 Speaker 4: before my wedding day, I get a call from my 909 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,760 Speaker 4: wedding planner saying, my sister is asking what my dress 910 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 4: looks like and what my fiance suit looks like. I 911 00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,279 Speaker 4: was like, uh, why is she asking? I thought maybe 912 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 4: she needed ideas for her own wedding, but boy was 913 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,360 Speaker 4: I wrong. Two weeks before my wedding, my sister's fiance 914 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,719 Speaker 4: texts me and says how happy he is for me 915 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,480 Speaker 4: to agree to a double wedding and how he's excited 916 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,120 Speaker 4: to make memories with me and my fiance. I was like, 917 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,160 Speaker 4: I don't even know about it and I never agreed 918 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,360 Speaker 4: to it, but he kept saying. My sister said, so. 919 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,440 Speaker 4: I called my mom and she knew, but felt like 920 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,480 Speaker 4: it was the right thing to do because we were 921 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,720 Speaker 4: twins and we should do everything together. 922 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:56,920 Speaker 5: This is so weird. 923 00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,880 Speaker 4: That's weird. This is so wed, it's weird. I called 924 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,560 Speaker 4: my sister, but she didn't answer, so I drove to 925 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,279 Speaker 4: her house and confronted her about it. She just said, 926 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,239 Speaker 4: we're twins and we should do everything together and it'll 927 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,319 Speaker 4: be a new memory for me and her. She told 928 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 4: me I should stop being a bee for not wanting it. 929 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 4: You're not invited the wedding anymore. You're gone, mind you. 930 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,839 Speaker 4: I paid for everything, I mean everything, and all she 931 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,720 Speaker 4: paid for was her wedding dress. I told my fiance 932 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 4: and he said, to me, do whatever you want. I'll 933 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,680 Speaker 4: support you. So I told my dad and he told 934 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,920 Speaker 4: me the exact same thing. I moved my wedding to December, 935 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 4: but didn't inform my mom and sister. I informed all 936 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,240 Speaker 4: my vendors and my guests, My fiance, and I decided 937 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,000 Speaker 4: to take a trip to Spain, and I turned my 938 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,320 Speaker 4: phone off so no one could reach me. When I returned, 939 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,759 Speaker 4: my mom and sister were furious. They called me selfish 940 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,760 Speaker 4: and said I'm an a hole for doing that without 941 00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,600 Speaker 4: informing them, and they will not be intending my wedding. 942 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 4: Am I the a hole? And there is an update? 943 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,040 Speaker 4: Oh no, you're not gonna be attending my wedding. 944 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,160 Speaker 3: No, I feel like the just set this up so 945 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,560 Speaker 3: they can have a reason not to. It's in your wedding. 946 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,759 Speaker 4: They chose the craziest thing. Yeah, why would we want 947 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,360 Speaker 4: you at the wedding. 948 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,560 Speaker 5: I don't know that I would anyone want them. Twin 949 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 5: seems like she wants to do everything together. 950 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,440 Speaker 4: She's weird. She's weird. 951 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,319 Speaker 5: Literally, Oh, she wants to have babies together. It sounds 952 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 5: like too, like she would get to that point, not 953 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,839 Speaker 5: with you, not with the twin, but like Yoike's man, 954 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,520 Speaker 5: let's coordinate with have babies together. 955 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,120 Speaker 4: But there is an update. Hi everyone. First of all, 956 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,640 Speaker 4: I want to thank you guys for the support and ideas. 957 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,959 Speaker 4: I have an update. My wedding was three days ago. 958 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 4: I am currently in Thailand for my honeymoon. But let's 959 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,800 Speaker 4: dive into the update. You guys were right. My sister 960 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 4: tried to crash my wedding. Of course she frigging did. 961 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:40,759 Speaker 4: Of course she did. She probably showed up in the 962 00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,520 Speaker 4: wedding dress, try to walk down the aisle, and not 963 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,719 Speaker 4: just that, she almost got me arrested on my wedding day. 964 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,400 Speaker 4: So the weeks leading up to my wedding were silent 965 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:50,640 Speaker 4: from both my sister and my mom, so I thought 966 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:55,080 Speaker 4: nothing would happen, But I was wrong again. My fiance 967 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,279 Speaker 4: and I planned a small get together the night before 968 00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,440 Speaker 4: our wedding with just our bridal party. Everything seemed fine 969 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 4: in the beginning. We made reservations at a restaurant. We 970 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,520 Speaker 4: got to the restaurant and found out we were already there. 971 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,640 Speaker 4: How is that possible if we just got there. The 972 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,120 Speaker 4: manager was called and he told us we already checked 973 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 4: in for our reservation. He swore he saw me evil twin, 974 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,480 Speaker 4: and my fiance was like, there was no way he 975 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,080 Speaker 4: saw me. We continue to argue with my manager with 976 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,480 Speaker 4: the manager, and as we were our friends started to 977 00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 4: show up. We explained the situation to them and they 978 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,759 Speaker 4: too were shook. At this point, it has not hit 979 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,040 Speaker 4: me yet that there is only one person who also 980 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,160 Speaker 4: has my face. Security was called and we were let 981 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,239 Speaker 4: out of the restaurant. We were in the parking lot 982 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 4: when it hit me that my sister was the only 983 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 4: one who could do this. But my friend said I 984 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,080 Speaker 4: should leave it and we could still make the best 985 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:46,359 Speaker 4: of the night, and we did. 986 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 3: Dude, if you're evil and you have a twin and 987 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:50,720 Speaker 3: you get up to no good. 988 00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:52,480 Speaker 4: There's so much you could There's so much damage you 989 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:52,799 Speaker 4: could do. 990 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,720 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it's so scary. It is very scary. 991 00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,160 Speaker 3: You could ban someone, yeah, from everything. 992 00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, you could just go to every store and you're like, 993 00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 4: I mean you also have to be okay with getting 994 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 4: banned as well. 995 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,040 Speaker 3: You could go to their workplace get admired. 996 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,439 Speaker 4: Absolutely, everything was smooth. Oh, this is the wedding day. 997 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,880 Speaker 4: Everything was smooth going until it was time for me 998 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,240 Speaker 4: to walk down the aisle. When I saw my sister 999 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,640 Speaker 4: wearing the same dress as me, and hair and even makeup. 1000 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,640 Speaker 4: You could not tell us apart even if you knew 1001 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:25,520 Speaker 4: us for years. Security checkarity. There's gonna be a moment 1002 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,239 Speaker 4: where they're at the wedding and they're like, no, I'm 1003 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,960 Speaker 4: the real lope and the husband's like, oh no, how 1004 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:32,920 Speaker 4: do I choose? 1005 00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,680 Speaker 3: It's weird, you know, it's really weird. 1006 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,040 Speaker 4: I immediately asked her what she was doing, and she 1007 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,239 Speaker 4: looked me in the eye and said I was an 1008 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:44,239 Speaker 4: impostor and she was the real me. I called it. 1009 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:45,440 Speaker 3: I'm freaking called it. 1010 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,320 Speaker 5: ID bring your birth certificate right security. 1011 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,960 Speaker 4: It didn't I thought that I was joking. I was joking. 1012 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:56,120 Speaker 4: I was so confused that I lost words. When my 1013 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,160 Speaker 4: husband noticed I was not coming down the aisle, he 1014 00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,279 Speaker 4: walked to the entrance and could not tell us part 1015 00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:03,640 Speaker 4: at first glance. How did we nail this story? Why 1016 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,520 Speaker 4: didn't even approve this story? How did I nail this one? 1017 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:07,000 Speaker 3: Oh? 1018 00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,760 Speaker 4: My god. My sister started shouting, which drew the attention 1019 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,919 Speaker 4: of my family and guests. Because it was getting too much. 1020 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,960 Speaker 4: Someone had called the police. When they arrived. They were 1021 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,560 Speaker 4: also confused about who was who. My sister kept yelling, 1022 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,600 Speaker 4: saying I wanted to ruin her day and I couldn't 1023 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,200 Speaker 4: be happy for the police had asked us if we 1024 00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,120 Speaker 4: had anything that could prove I was me, and she 1025 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,200 Speaker 4: was lying. This is insane, This is insane. Luckily, my 1026 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,680 Speaker 4: best friend, also my maid of honor, had my phone 1027 00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,040 Speaker 4: and my idea with her. I showed the police and 1028 00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,160 Speaker 4: they were about to arrest my sister when she said 1029 00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:37,560 Speaker 4: I would have exchanged the ID and our phones. The 1030 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,319 Speaker 4: police decided to cuff both of us. This can't be 1031 00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,320 Speaker 4: real and take us down to the station for more questioning. 1032 00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,480 Speaker 4: When my now husband said that his wife has a tattoo, 1033 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,880 Speaker 4: shell bouces. Please tell me, oh, he has a tattoo. 1034 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,680 Speaker 4: This is not this can't be real that we both 1035 00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,600 Speaker 4: got I forgot about that. When my sister heard that, 1036 00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,319 Speaker 4: you could visibly see fear in her eyes. Note we 1037 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,640 Speaker 4: got this tattoo last year and is hidden and it's 1038 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 4: hidden from the eyes of other because of where the 1039 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,480 Speaker 4: tattoo is located. A female officer had to follow me 1040 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,799 Speaker 4: to the washroom to see if it matched with my 1041 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,440 Speaker 4: husband's tattoo. After it was confirmed, my sister was taken away. 1042 00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:17,200 Speaker 4: What this is on her wedding day? My wedding commenced? 1043 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,680 Speaker 4: What after a long mental break from what had just happened? 1044 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,840 Speaker 4: What do you mean you your wedding kept. 1045 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,120 Speaker 3: Going after this this big day. 1046 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,200 Speaker 4: We gotta keep it going. I guess we're gonna get 1047 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,120 Speaker 4: But now I am happily married to the love of 1048 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,719 Speaker 4: my life. I love when you guys listen to full 1049 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,320 Speaker 4: episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast, 1050 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,600 Speaker 4: Spotify or your favorite podcast st app and search a 1051 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,120 Speaker 4: Pokes story time. This was crazy, dude? 1052 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,000 Speaker 3: Why did we read this one first? 1053 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 4: This was crazy? 1054 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:46,400 Speaker 2: What? 1055 00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 4: This was crazy? 1056 00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:49,400 Speaker 3: Holy cow? 1057 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,839 Speaker 4: I don't know if I buy it, but if it's true. 1058 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:52,400 Speaker 4: It's crazy. 1059 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:53,359 Speaker 3: We have to buy it. 1060 00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 4: It's gonna have to buy it because it's so good. 1061 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:55,880 Speaker 3: It's a good story. 1062 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,880 Speaker 5: It's so good that it sounds too good to it's 1063 00:50:59,000 --> 00:50:59,400 Speaker 5: but you know. 1064 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,880 Speaker 4: What, I'm taking it because this was the best story 1065 00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:02,399 Speaker 4: of the day. 1066 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 3: If we think about it, there are eight billion people 1067 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,359 Speaker 3: in this freaking world. This had to happen once. 1068 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,920 Speaker 4: Someone's got to have this base, you know, like the 1069 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,800 Speaker 4: movies have to base it off something. Yeah, this definitely 1070 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,600 Speaker 4: happened context. Yes, I did put security and the main 1071 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,040 Speaker 4: entrance of the venue. Don't know how she passed them. Yes, 1072 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,800 Speaker 4: I did change my venue from the last one my 1073 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:21,800 Speaker 4: mom was in it on to two. She helped my 1074 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,880 Speaker 4: sister get the same dress. And yes, my sister and 1075 00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,920 Speaker 4: my mum were the ones that checked in at the restaurant. 1076 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,200 Speaker 4: And no, my sister's not in jail. I did not 1077 00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:31,120 Speaker 4: press charges against her. She is still my sister. But 1078 00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,680 Speaker 4: I do plan on getting a restraining order on her. 1079 00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,680 Speaker 4: Good my bridal party, my and my husband's friends. So 1080 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,480 Speaker 4: I don't know how my sister will know about that 1081 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,440 Speaker 4: restaurant observation. I know this might be crazy and it 1082 00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,799 Speaker 4: might sound like it only happens on TV. But I 1083 00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,399 Speaker 4: too was shocked that anyone could think of us. And 1084 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:53,920 Speaker 4: that is the end of that insane story. Oh crazy, crazy, Wow, 1085 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:58,719 Speaker 4: you have an insane sister. I mean, you got a 1086 00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,760 Speaker 4: crazy sister. What would have happened if they got married? Yeah, 1087 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 4: Like what happens if Opie gets taken away? Is she was? 1088 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,040 Speaker 4: She just planning on, like like starting a new life 1089 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:08,960 Speaker 4: with OPI's husband. 1090 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,680 Speaker 5: The husband, the husband will be like something's off, something's 1091 00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,800 Speaker 5: a little when you put on like somebody else's shoes. 1092 00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:18,960 Speaker 5: But also but I feel like twins don't have the 1093 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:19,960 Speaker 5: same voice. 1094 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,640 Speaker 3: Whatever. My grandfather on my dad's side died. He wasn't 1095 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,319 Speaker 3: really close to me, so he was okay. My dad 1096 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,960 Speaker 3: found out that he had a half sister, and that 1097 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:33,840 Speaker 3: half sister had six kids, five girls, one boy, well 1098 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:37,799 Speaker 3: one you know, I think back in twenty twenty two, 1099 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,560 Speaker 3: they have twins and then they have another one. So 1100 00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,720 Speaker 3: one twin got engaged and then one of the sisters 1101 00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:47,960 Speaker 3: that has been with her boyfriend for like, I think 1102 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,839 Speaker 3: five years at this point, she was kind of like, ah, 1103 00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,520 Speaker 3: why are you not getting married? Me and the twins 1104 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,320 Speaker 3: were only like together for like a year, and a 1105 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:59,120 Speaker 3: half two years. So then that sister then got engaged 1106 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 3: because the boyfriend was like, well I got engaged right now, 1107 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,040 Speaker 3: And then the other twin engaged. Mind you that the 1108 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:08,240 Speaker 3: twins are dating twins. The twins then are now marrying twins. 1109 00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:08,640 Speaker 4: Dang. 1110 00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,239 Speaker 3: So one twin had was getting the wedding together, you know, 1111 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:17,080 Speaker 3: had a location, everything was good, everything was looking great. 1112 00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:22,839 Speaker 3: And this one Sally, and Sarah seemed like she wanted 1113 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,759 Speaker 3: to do a double wedding because she didn't want to 1114 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,279 Speaker 3: pay double. She didn't want to do everything she I 1115 00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,680 Speaker 3: thought the concept was cool, but she kind of seemed 1116 00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,759 Speaker 3: like she was pigging backing off of Sally. Sally kind 1117 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,920 Speaker 3: of seemed chill with it. I don't really know what 1118 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,120 Speaker 3: was happening behind the scenes, but they ended up doing 1119 00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:41,839 Speaker 3: separate weddings. And like even the twins brothers weren't even 1120 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:43,759 Speaker 3: the best men in each other's weddings because they had 1121 00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,040 Speaker 3: to save money. Apparently they didn't want to pay for 1122 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:50,080 Speaker 3: like suits or something insane. Yeah, but the twins were 1123 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,400 Speaker 3: like made of honors at each other. Yeah, so it 1124 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,640 Speaker 3: was wild. And then they recently both had kids and 1125 00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:57,960 Speaker 3: and those are. 1126 00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,920 Speaker 4: Like those are dicipling. I think those are like siblings. 1127 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to see him genetically? Yeah, I barely. 1128 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:06,719 Speaker 5: Talk to really. Oh wow, that's you're right. 1129 00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:07,920 Speaker 4: Because they're twins. 1130 00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know which ones which and I don't 1131 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:13,800 Speaker 3: know their names. And I feel like a bad cousin 1132 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,279 Speaker 3: because as soon as I left for l A, they 1133 00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,360 Speaker 3: start having kids. And I'm like, so much happens in 1134 00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:18,440 Speaker 3: the 1135 00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,960 Speaker 4: Year, but dang, that's the end of that story.