WEBVTT - DELILAH DILEMMAS:  Everybody has something!

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<v Speaker 1>Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have

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<v Speaker 1>put together some of my favorite radio moments here to

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<v Speaker 1>share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on

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<v Speaker 1>my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love them all.

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<v Speaker 1>When you call or you write with a situation that

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<v Speaker 1>you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,

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<v Speaker 1>we love them all, and today we wanted to share

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<v Speaker 1>some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Marie

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<v Speaker 1>wrote to me and says, my barely ex boyfriend just

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<v Speaker 1>came home from overseas. He came home about a month ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was so excited after not seeing him for

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<v Speaker 1>a year. Everything was going well. I got to spend

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<v Speaker 1>time with him. I was so so happy he was

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<v Speaker 1>finally home. Well, a week ago, he broke the news

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<v Speaker 1>to me that he was back with his ex, who

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<v Speaker 1>he was engaged to previously during the time they were together,

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<v Speaker 1>she cheated on him. Now, I've been fine up until

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<v Speaker 1>this point. I've kept it together and kept my head up,

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<v Speaker 1>pretending like everything was fine, except tonight. Tonight is finally

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<v Speaker 1>getting to me and I'm breaking down emotionally and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what to do. It hurts bad, and although

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<v Speaker 1>this isn't my first breakup, it's definitely the hardest I've

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<v Speaker 1>ever been through. I just pretend like everything is fine

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<v Speaker 1>and nothing bothers me, but I can't do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Please help me. From Marie Ah, Marie, I will help

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<v Speaker 1>you in just a moment. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Marie,

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<v Speaker 1>who wrote to a young man was involved with him

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<v Speaker 1>while he was overseas. He came home to her loving

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<v Speaker 1>eyes arms and then told her that he was going

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<v Speaker 1>back to his ex. And she's pretending like everything is fine. Honey,

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<v Speaker 1>everything is not fine. You have been betrayed in the

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<v Speaker 1>worst way, and you've put your life on hold, hoping

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<v Speaker 1>and planning for a future with somebody who was involved

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<v Speaker 1>with somebody else, obviously during the time that he's been away.

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<v Speaker 1>So stop pretending like it's okay, Stop pretending like your

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<v Speaker 1>heart isn't broken, and cry and let your tears out

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<v Speaker 1>and let your pain out and call your best friends

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<v Speaker 1>and have some been and Jerry's ice cream with them,

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<v Speaker 1>and then move on because you deserve to be loved

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<v Speaker 1>completely by somebody who just wants to spoil you. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So you can have my shoulder. My virtual should review

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<v Speaker 1>the radio to cry on God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's

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<v Speaker 1>Dilemma is from someone who is making bad choices because

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<v Speaker 1>she loves too much. Jessica writes, I am twenty six

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<v Speaker 1>with a beautiful baby girl. I am very much in

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<v Speaker 1>love with both her and her daddy, but he has

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<v Speaker 1>a bad drug habit. Because of his drug habit, we

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<v Speaker 1>have lost everything. I am still so stupid in love

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<v Speaker 1>that I keep taking him back. I know it's not

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<v Speaker 1>good for me or my baby girl. Please tell me

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<v Speaker 1>how to let go and do good for me and

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<v Speaker 1>my kylie Bug. Thank you so much from Jessica. Jessica,

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<v Speaker 1>I will have my mother delilah response for you coming

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<v Speaker 1>up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from somebody who is

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<v Speaker 1>stupid in love. Yes, you are, Jessica. You are stupid

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<v Speaker 1>in love because you are doing stupid things that could

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<v Speaker 1>cost you the life of your child, or it could

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<v Speaker 1>cost you CPS coming taking your child, or it could

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<v Speaker 1>cost you your child being messed up for the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of her life. Jessica, you need to go to nar Anon.

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<v Speaker 1>Nar Ann is a organization, a group I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to call it an organization meetings for people who love,

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<v Speaker 1>people who love their drugs more than themselves or their children.

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<v Speaker 1>People who are addicted to drugs, be it prescription drugs,

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<v Speaker 1>be it over the counter drugs, be it street drugs.

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<v Speaker 1>People who are addicted to OxyContin, to painkillers, to pot

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<v Speaker 1>to whatever, cannot make sound choices. They cannot make good decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>They cannot be good parents while they're using drugs. And

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<v Speaker 1>because you are so addicted to this man, you are

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<v Speaker 1>not being a good parent to your baby. You are

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<v Speaker 1>putting your baby at risk, at risk of being hurt, killed,

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<v Speaker 1>taken by CPS. You are putting your baby at risk

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<v Speaker 1>because you are as addicted to the drug addict as

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<v Speaker 1>the drug addict is addicted to drugs. So please, for

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<v Speaker 1>your baby's sake, stop. If you don't love yourself, Jessica,

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<v Speaker 1>and I get that because when I was your age

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<v Speaker 1>with a baby, I didn't love myself and I was

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<v Speaker 1>addicted to a drug addict. If you don't love yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>I get that. But at least, for God's sakes, love

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<v Speaker 1>your baby enough to not put her in harm's way.

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<v Speaker 1>Go to narin On or go to alan On. Go

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<v Speaker 1>to a counselor and figure out why you are addicted

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<v Speaker 1>to an addict, and then start making good choices for

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<v Speaker 1>you and your Kylie Bug. She deserves it. Here is

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<v Speaker 1>tonight's Delilah's Dilemma. Becky writes, I fell in love with

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<v Speaker 1>the most amazing man almost seven years ago. We dated

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<v Speaker 1>for three years before we decided to marry, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was afraid of making a mistake. My husband has one son.

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<v Speaker 1>I have three children. His son lived with his mother

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<v Speaker 1>and my kids live with their dad. Well, we just

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<v Speaker 1>recently moved out of state and my sixteen year old

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<v Speaker 1>daughter moved in with me and my husband. That was

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<v Speaker 1>last summer and last fall. His nineteen year old son

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<v Speaker 1>had to repeat a senior year, so he moved here

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<v Speaker 1>with us to go to school. His parents felt he

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<v Speaker 1>needed to get away from the people he was hanging

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<v Speaker 1>out with, so we took him in since my daughter

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<v Speaker 1>was here. What else could I say? He and his

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<v Speaker 1>father never really got along, and five months later, all

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<v Speaker 1>they do is fight all the time. I'm not talking

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<v Speaker 1>about a little arguing. I can deal with that, but fighting.

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<v Speaker 1>As a mother, I don't feel my daughter or I

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<v Speaker 1>should be subjected to this craziness. We are planning on

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<v Speaker 1>moving back home in the summer. I'm not sure if

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<v Speaker 1>I can wait that long. I really need to get

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<v Speaker 1>me and my daughter away from this craziness. I told

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<v Speaker 1>my husband something tonight that tore me up. I told him,

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<v Speaker 1>if I knew it would be like this with him

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<v Speaker 1>and his son, I never would have decided to get married.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a man that I've longed to find all

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<v Speaker 1>my life. We were best friends, we share everything. But

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<v Speaker 1>my stepson cursed me out today, and I just think

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<v Speaker 1>it's about time for my husband to decide him or me.

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<v Speaker 1>I need some serious advice, Mama Delilah, help from Becky. Becky,

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<v Speaker 1>I will be back with my insights my response to

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<v Speaker 1>your Delilah dilemma coming up next. If you were listening

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<v Speaker 1>a moment ago, I got a letter from Becky who

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<v Speaker 1>has married a man that has an adult son, and

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<v Speaker 1>that adult son has moved in with them and is

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<v Speaker 1>causing all sorts of mayhem in the household. And Becky,

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<v Speaker 1>here's what I would say. When a child is a child,

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<v Speaker 1>it's the parent's responsibility to provide for that child. But

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<v Speaker 1>when a child is an adult and your step son

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<v Speaker 1>is then that child is responsible, that adults is responsible

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<v Speaker 1>for making their way in the world. And it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>like he moved in with good intentions to complete school

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<v Speaker 1>and to get away from some negative influences, but he

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<v Speaker 1>brought with him a whole lot of behavior that is

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<v Speaker 1>not acceptable. You cannot live in a household where there

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<v Speaker 1>is physical fighting going on. So I support you one

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<v Speaker 1>hundred percent in saying I can't live this way. I

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<v Speaker 1>cannot live under these conditions. But I'm suspecting your husband

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<v Speaker 1>is feeling extremely guilty because he was not the custodial parent,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's nothing in this world quite as strong as

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<v Speaker 1>parent guilt. Before you pack your bags, Becky and head out,

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<v Speaker 1>have you thought about saying to your husband, can we

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<v Speaker 1>go talk to a counselor can we get some input

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<v Speaker 1>from somebody who's objective. Can we talk to somebody who's

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<v Speaker 1>an expert at helping families stay together. You need somebody

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<v Speaker 1>who can help you see all the different nuances and

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<v Speaker 1>all the different things going on and can really give

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<v Speaker 1>you some sound wisdom and advice. That's my best advice.

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<v Speaker 1>I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as

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<v Speaker 1>much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share

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<v Speaker 1>more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah l