Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: All right, this Thursday Therapy. We have a doctor Harry
Speaker 1: Cohen coming on and I'm really excited. He's got a
Speaker 1: book called Be the Sun Not the Salt. Let's get
Speaker 1: him on. And then there's a word called heliotropic. Not
Speaker 1: really sure what that is, so let's get him on
Speaker 1: and we'll find out what it is. Hi, Janna, Hi,
Speaker 1: how are you good?
Speaker 2: I think the last time we were supposed to talk,
Speaker 2: you had.
Speaker 1: Something rather I had a baby. I think right, you
Speaker 1: had a baby. Yeah. It was either that or I
Speaker 1: know I had to cancel a few because I was
Speaker 1: having some postpartum Like how are you now? Oh my, now,
Speaker 1: you're so sweet for asking. I am. Yeah, I'm good,
Speaker 1: I feel I feel good. The emotions have obviously been
Speaker 1: all over the place. Do you have kids?
Speaker 2: I have two thirty two year old twin boys.
Speaker 1: Okay, So was postpartum a thing back then?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: With your wife like it? Did they talk about it
Speaker 1: at all? Or was it?
Speaker 2: It was it was a show because it was a
Speaker 2: section and we were new to parenting and twins and
Speaker 2: it was it was very, very different. Most of it
Speaker 2: was just a fog of trying to deal with two
Speaker 2: little boys, two little babies.
Speaker 1: But you did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure they're they're good. You know. It's it's a.
Speaker 1: Journey, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2: So how old is what's your story?
Speaker 1: So? I have an eight year old almost eight year
Speaker 1: old daughter, and then I have a five year old
Speaker 1: son and now a let's see when this airs. So
Speaker 1: today as we're recording, we're five days before Christmas and
Speaker 1: he is five weeks so, you know, it's it's one
Speaker 1: of those things where I was just out of it
Speaker 1: with my five year old, and so it's kind of
Speaker 1: restarting back up again and again. The hormones started really sensitive.
Speaker 1: I wasper sensitive, and then all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: think last week I started to just get really agitated,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't even know why I'm agitated.
Speaker 1: I just am agitated at everything that moves. So I
Speaker 1: like went to my therapist and I'm like, I'm so,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm normally high strung, but I'm on like
Speaker 1: I've taken high strung pills and I don't know how
Speaker 1: to like calm my nervous system down, you know. And
Speaker 1: it was one of those where I'm like, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I'm going to explode, and anyone I go to,
Speaker 1: I'm like a wrecking ball of just like aggression, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like, I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be this way good good. So we're trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out, but have you it's I think it's
Speaker 1: again just trying to figure out where why, Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I know it's the the emotions and the hormones regulating.
Speaker 1: I also think I again, I love, I'm so happy,
Speaker 1: and I love obviously my baby and all the things.
Speaker 1: But I think a piece of that aggression felt like
Speaker 1: I was trapped again, like oh my gosh, everything is
Speaker 1: around yet again, I'm you know, the schedule and feedings
Speaker 1: and naps, and I don't have help yet, so I
Speaker 1: just felt very I think trapped is the best word
Speaker 1: I can think of when I was trying to explain
Speaker 1: it to her. And I don't ever like the feeling
Speaker 1: of feeling trapped. I get anxious, I lash out. So
Speaker 1: that's where I'm just trying to. Now go, Okay, let
Speaker 1: me find things that are good for me that I
Speaker 1: can go do so I don't feel trapped.
Speaker 2: Did your therapist help you.
Speaker 1: She's the best. I love her, but I'm always open
Speaker 1: to which is why i have this segment because I'm
Speaker 1: always open to learning.
Speaker 2: More So, I have no idea what our agenda is.
Speaker 2: I'm happy to do therapy with you if you like,
Speaker 2: but I.
Speaker 1: Mean, hey, we can have a little dose of this
Speaker 1: and a little dose of that, because I want to
Speaker 1: talk about your book too, and I need to know
Speaker 1: if you're a Michigan fan since you went to Michigan. Duh, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you okay, because I'm like, I know some people
Speaker 1: that go to you know, U of m are like, no, no, no, I.
Speaker 2: Live in I mean, I have two front row seats
Speaker 2: and two second row seats.
Speaker 1: If you ever want to do even don't even say
Speaker 1: that without because I'm like, I will take you up
Speaker 1: on that offer. That's one offer I would take.
Speaker 2: Clear, I don't say anything that I don't mean. And
Speaker 2: when I say I have two front row and two
Speaker 2: second row and I give them away, I don't generally
Speaker 2: don't go to the games. I give them away because
Speaker 2: the experience for people who've never been to the Big House.
Speaker 2: Front row is different and second row is pretty nice.
Speaker 2: And and I'm happy to do that I went to
Speaker 2: restaurant in town, you know, dinners on me plus two
Speaker 2: front row seats, plus an experience at the Big House.
Speaker 2: It's easy for me to do so.
Speaker 1: I've never been to a game ever.
Speaker 2: So so take someone whose mind would be blown and
Speaker 2: you know, and we'll organize it and schedule it a web.
Speaker 2: Pick a good weather month because it's different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know in October. Well, gret I love this podcast.
Speaker 1: This podcast has started out amazing. What a generous offer.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I really a curiosity is one of the qualities that
Speaker 2: makes someone heliotropic.
Speaker 1: Gradit okay, and that's what I wanted to When I
Speaker 1: was reading your breakdown, I started to find myself googling, like,
Speaker 1: what is heliotopic? I didn't even I've never even heard
Speaker 1: that word before.
Speaker 2: Well, the world will when when we've done our work,
Speaker 2: the world will know what it means to be heliotropic.
Speaker 2: They'll know what it means to be the sun and
Speaker 2: not the salt. It's not complicated. It is why a
Speaker 2: plant tilts towards the sun. The sun is a source
Speaker 2: of energy, which is why the plant is drawn to it.
Speaker 2: And it turns out that human beings are drawn to
Speaker 2: heliotropic people, people who provide that source of energy for them,
Speaker 2: which is positive, nurturing, good energy, and it comes in
Speaker 2: the form of virtuous behaviors. This is empirical. So when
Speaker 2: people are kind and generous and compassionate and authentic and
Speaker 2: vulnerable and real and all the qualities that we love
Speaker 2: about humans, we're drawn to them like the plant is
Speaker 2: drawn to the sun. Therefore, we want to surround ourselves
Speaker 2: with people like that. We want to be like that,
Speaker 2: and it's nurturing and good for the world period. Conversely,
Speaker 2: don't be a dick, don't be rude, disrespectful, unkind, lash
Speaker 2: out all the ways that human beings can be nasty
Speaker 2: to one another. Don't do that. It's salt on the roots.
Speaker 2: So in a nutshell, that's this whole mindset, which is,
Speaker 2: wait a minute, what you just did. I'm lashing out.
Speaker 2: That's not my best self, that's not who I want
Speaker 2: to be. Good. That salt on other people's roots makes
Speaker 2: them feel horrible, makes you feel horrible too. I want
Speaker 2: to be the good person that I know that I
Speaker 2: am great. Be that way. Find your way back to
Speaker 2: that way of being. It's not complicated me being generous
Speaker 2: to you is easy. You know, when you give somebody
Speaker 2: a buck, you know, you give tip a server or something,
Speaker 2: you're being generous. It's easy. I can be generous. Anybody
Speaker 2: can be. I'm not looking for a metal. I'm just
Speaker 2: saying that practicing the virtuous behaviors that we love about
Speaker 2: humans makes us feel good in the world. Feel good, right,
Speaker 2: you know?
Speaker 1: I mean I completely agree with that. And so the
Speaker 1: book that you wrote is it do you talk a lot?
Speaker 1: I mean obviously that the helio how do you say heliotropic?
Speaker 2: Yeah, helio?
Speaker 1: True? That is that? Is that a new words? Did
Speaker 1: you come up with that? Word? Is that has always
Speaker 1: been there? I'm like, why why am I just hearing
Speaker 1: it now? Because I've heard all the other phrases and words.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Professor Kim Cameron, he wrote one of the endorsements on
Speaker 2: the back. We've done a podcast with people who are
Speaker 2: heliotropic who want to be better people. He was one
Speaker 2: of our first guests and he coined the expression. And
Speaker 2: he's a Ross Business School, Michigan Business School professor, and
Speaker 2: he researched positive energizers and corporations and what is it
Speaker 2: about these people that make corporations more successful these leaders.
Speaker 2: It's what he coined the expression heliotropic positive energizer. So
Speaker 2: I stole it from him with his blessing and popularizing
Speaker 2: it in the form of be the sun. Be like
Speaker 2: the sun as opposed to the salt. So that's where
Speaker 2: it comes from. But if you look up heliotropic, if
Speaker 2: you know chet gpt it or Wikipedia, it'll describe qualities
Speaker 2: of sunlight uplifting.
Speaker 1: Why do you think most people go to the salt
Speaker 1: of people as opposed.
Speaker 2: To There's a lot of reasons for it. We're wired
Speaker 2: and geared to see the glass half empty. When a
Speaker 2: branch snaps in the forest, we don't think it's a
Speaker 2: good thing. So there's a natural inherent bias to go
Speaker 2: to the negative. The negative stings long, stings and last longer. However,
Speaker 2: cultural phenomenon and pep phenomenon and people can make us
Speaker 2: more negative. Media is terrible, you know, if it leads,
Speaker 2: it leads people like to gossip, people like to talk
Speaker 2: about others' flaws and faults, and that's again human nature.
Speaker 2: So we have to guard against the tendency, the human
Speaker 2: tendency to do things that are of the negative. And
Speaker 2: that's all why, because it's human nature, because it's easier
Speaker 2: because the cultural norms around us. Because people like to bitch,
Speaker 2: people like to complain, people like to talk about other people,
Speaker 2: people like to point out flaws. You can see it
Speaker 2: in other people. You need to notice it when you're
Speaker 2: getting all cranky. Wait a minute, this what's going on here.
Speaker 2: It's a natural tendency like gravity. You know, if you
Speaker 2: put a lot of food in front of somebody, they're
Speaker 2: gonna overeat. You know, we got bad habits and good habits.
Speaker 2: You have to, you know, work on being you know
Speaker 2: better habitual person, good person. Don't make it complicated. The
Speaker 2: whole thing Jenna about this is don't over overthink this,
Speaker 2: Just do the next right thing. After you screw up
Speaker 2: to your credit, you recognized you were being cranky and
Speaker 2: you said this ain't me. I got to go get help.
Speaker 2: What I would say to you is, don't complicate it.
Speaker 2: Do the next right thing for yourself or someone else.
Speaker 2: They're interchangeable. If you need to take a break, take
Speaker 2: a break. If you need to get some help, get
Speaker 2: some help. If you need to you know, wind down,
Speaker 2: wind get it, get it. Yeah, But I mean that
Speaker 2: in the don't make it hard for anyone or anybody else,
Speaker 2: like the tiniest things. And you said I was generous
Speaker 2: and kind. That's very nice. It's not that hard to
Speaker 2: be generous and kind. Here's what I just recently learned,
Speaker 2: which is, you know what the hard part about this?
Speaker 2: There isn't any There's no hard part about this. None
Speaker 2: not hard to be a nice person. It's not hard
Speaker 2: to take a break. It's not hard to you know,
Speaker 2: you made a boo boo. Yes it is, No, it isn't.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? You noticed it in a heartbeat.
Speaker 2: You said, I'm being all all, I'm lashing out. The
Speaker 2: minute you lashed out, you said, wait a minute, that's
Speaker 2: not how I want to be. Something's up. You're right,
Speaker 2: figure it out and knock it off, which you did.
Speaker 2: And I asked you it was your therapist helpful because
Speaker 2: you know I was a therapist, and I know sometimes
Speaker 2: I can be helpful sometimes not. The goal is to
Speaker 2: be helpful, you know.
Speaker 1: Other, what other tangible tip could you say? Because I
Speaker 1: think when I heard you say the glass half empty,
Speaker 1: I do go that way most times where I and
Speaker 1: I'm learning and trying to flip that to go no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna this next year or this year is going
Speaker 1: to be very fulfilling, it's going to be a great year.
Speaker 1: It's going to be a successful year. Instead of going, well,
Speaker 1: I haven't gotten that role yet, or you know, it's
Speaker 1: where I just I go to that kind of pessimistic
Speaker 1: been in this for a long time, like.
Speaker 2: Rotation, don't go first of all, don't go into a
Speaker 2: full year. Do it today, do it the next minute,
Speaker 2: do the next hour. Do it in this conversation. The
Speaker 2: minute you hear yourself go into the you know, go
Speaker 2: to the dark side, say wait a minute, I just
Speaker 2: I just noticed that. Oh yeah, I don't need to
Speaker 2: do that. And from shift your minds and your mindset
Speaker 2: from get to to got to mm hmm instead of
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, got to to get to? You say, oh
Speaker 2: I did I meant to say get to God? Got
Speaker 2: to to get to I made mistake? So what you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like, oh I gotta go to work? No, no, no,
Speaker 2: I get to go to work. Oh it didn't happen.
Speaker 2: Oh well, So when you hear yourself go negative, let
Speaker 2: your negativity be your best friend. When you wanted the
Speaker 2: practical tip, the minute you go dark the minute you
Speaker 2: go to your dark about Oh, I remember that guy
Speaker 2: Harry said that. Let it be a little reminder, like
Speaker 2: a little dude, dude, you got this, Thank you, You're welcome.
Speaker 2: So the negativity is your friend because you can shift
Speaker 2: it in a split second. Oh I just said that.
Speaker 2: I just said I got to No, wait a minute,
Speaker 2: I mean, where are your kids right now? Where's the
Speaker 2: little baby who's watching.
Speaker 1: The baby baby's napping? This is nap hour?
Speaker 2: Oh beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I schedule things, you know, to make sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, where's the five.
Speaker 1: Five year old is actually with their dad today?
Speaker 2: Beautiful? Yeah, so this quiet, beautiful respite and the baby's sleeping.
Speaker 2: As soon as that baby cries. If you feel yourself
Speaker 2: go oh no, okay, if you heard yourself go oh no,
Speaker 2: it's a he or.
Speaker 1: Sheet, it's a boy. But I just felt myself get
Speaker 1: and this is just what happened their day. When I
Speaker 1: was recording an audition, I'm in this. It's his nap time.
Speaker 1: I'm recording for auditioning for what probably one of the
Speaker 1: biggest movies I've ever auditioned for. I hear him crying,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I immediately I'm like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: like you have to go back to like and I'm
Speaker 1: stressing out and then I just go straight into that
Speaker 1: panic aggression stress out mode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hold on a second. So let's just use as
Speaker 2: an example that is going to happen. That is going
Speaker 2: to happen a million times. So when it does, this
Speaker 2: isn't your first rodeo. Oh man, the body's going to
Speaker 2: do its thing. The body will do its thing. You're
Speaker 2: not going to stop the body from reacting. You know,
Speaker 2: they say, don't get nervous. Everybody gets nervous. You fled
Speaker 2: is to let the channel, lets that by thely reaction,
Speaker 2: reframe it in your mind. I'm going to get the
Speaker 2: butterflies to fly information not gonna not have butterflies. It's like,
Speaker 2: oh boy, all right, let's go rock and roll. Use
Speaker 2: yourself talk, say I got this, not my first rodeo.
Speaker 2: Whatever words you can use to say, Hey, I'm a mom.
Speaker 2: If they don't want me as a mom, too bad,
Speaker 2: I'm good. I got this self talk. You know, take
Speaker 2: a breath, take take another one, take three, say out loud,
Speaker 2: I hope you don't mind that. My baby's well, my
Speaker 2: heart's to thumping because my baby just cried. I hope
Speaker 2: you don't just be vulnerable and gutsy and throw yourself
Speaker 2: into your work and your role and to your you know,
Speaker 2: your life and let the chips fall where they may.
Speaker 2: You can control what you can control. You can't control
Speaker 2: anything else. If they don't want you, to screw it,
Speaker 2: you'll get another role and another role. That's the nature
Speaker 2: of this business. They're gonna say yes, they're going to
Speaker 2: say no. They're gonna say yes, they're gonna say no,
Speaker 2: we don't.
Speaker 1: Care, which is where I think I've become a little
Speaker 1: half empty. Two is the just then amounts of rejection
Speaker 1: and the the uh you know, the social media and
Speaker 1: the bully, all those things become. But now I again,
Speaker 1: once I turned forty and once it's like there's there's
Speaker 1: a shift and going, Okay, this life is too short.
Speaker 2: You got it, it's.
Speaker 1: To ever have. And that's the same thing with my ex.
Speaker 1: I hated his guts for at least well for a
Speaker 1: long time, but when we even got divorced, I mean
Speaker 1: I was I just had I just every morning I
Speaker 1: woke up and I just I hated him. And now
Speaker 1: I'm like that was such a disservice to myself because
Speaker 1: good now and now we're great, we have a great relationship.
Speaker 1: Everything is used because I'm like, I'd rather be friends.
Speaker 1: I don't want why why would I hate him? It's
Speaker 1: I don't want that energy in my body. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't want it for the kids.
Speaker 2: It's just look, see, this is what I mean by
Speaker 2: doing the next right thing is beautiful. You can use
Speaker 2: every single success in your life to propel you to
Speaker 2: the next one, and every single failure to go, oh good,
Speaker 2: I mean that story is just beautiful. What you transmuted
Speaker 2: relationship with your ex. Do that fifty thousand more times
Speaker 2: as best you can. You just told me this beautiful
Speaker 2: success story of you and your ex. Yes, do more
Speaker 2: of that. When you get rejected, you go, you know,
Speaker 2: I handle that rejection pretty well. Good for you. At
Speaker 2: least I got an audition. At least I got a shot.
Speaker 2: Some people don't get an audition. You've got an audition
Speaker 2: and they rejected you. Rock and roll. I I want
Speaker 2: you to have that self. I want you to be
Speaker 2: your best friend, coach on your shoulder, talking to yourself,
Speaker 2: getting yourself back in the arena every.
Speaker 1: Single Yeah, and I love that, and that's definitely what
Speaker 1: I'm going to bring into this new year. And I
Speaker 1: guess the question too, aram that is, what how do
Speaker 1: you do that when the other person doesn't want to
Speaker 1: meet you there? If there's someone that you want to have,
Speaker 1: you know, a not that kind of relationship, or you
Speaker 1: don't want that negativity, if you're how can you how
Speaker 1: can you meet there? If that person doesn't want that back?
Speaker 2: You all go up, walk away, welcome. You can't change. Look,
Speaker 2: you've got three little ones and they're all different. You
Speaker 2: can't make them a certain way. You try your ber right.
Speaker 1: I want people cup what you're doing with your book though,
Speaker 1: is I'm almost like, guys, well, we don't have to
Speaker 1: be angry at each other. Let's all get along and
Speaker 1: we don't have to be friends. But can we at
Speaker 1: least have like, you know, cordial Well.
Speaker 2: You can say that out loud. Do whatever works. In
Speaker 2: other words, there's not a formula to a successful life,
Speaker 2: although I do believe this is the formula I eat.
Speaker 2: The more we I am heliotropic, my life goes great
Speaker 2: when I get angry. I'm full of it. When I'm
Speaker 2: you know, some kind of working up a froth about irritation.
Speaker 2: You know, you were three minutes late for this podcast.
Speaker 2: Took me about thirty two seconds to go get off
Speaker 2: at Harry. And that's one of my things, which is
Speaker 2: it never ends. So your job is to be the
Speaker 2: most magnificent human being you can be, and that's a
Speaker 2: full time job. And other people will be moved by that.
Speaker 2: If people aren't operating to your liking, well are you
Speaker 2: operating to your own liking? If you could say yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: then let them be who they are. You don't have to.
Speaker 1: Hang out with them, for sure. I think it's just
Speaker 1: more hard to see so many people so angry in
Speaker 1: this world. That's where I just get frustrated. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why do you have to be so angry?
Speaker 2: Because they are whatever, lost in their own mental marass
Speaker 2: of stupidity. And I say that with compassion. You've been stupid.
Speaker 2: Look at you. You were angry at your ex and
Speaker 2: then you untangled it from your own inner web. Nothing changed.
Speaker 2: He's the same guy, and yet you just untangled whatever
Speaker 2: web you had, whatever words and rationalizations you had for
Speaker 2: what a no goodneck y was that you got out of.
Speaker 2: They'll figure it out too. And if you can be
Speaker 2: helpful to them with a hand on their shoulder or
Speaker 2: some kind of wisdom, then they'll untangle from their anger.
Speaker 2: But you see people who are angry and you go,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I used to be angry at my ex.
Speaker 2: Let me see if I can be helpful and untangle
Speaker 2: him or from their stupidity. Not in the judgmental you're
Speaker 2: better than them, but there but for the grace of God,
Speaker 2: go I. You just said you were a knucklehead with him.
Speaker 2: Now you're not power to you girl?
Speaker 1: Is that why you wrote this book? To help people,
Speaker 1: you know, getting to that heliotropic state.
Speaker 2: Yep, it's for me. It's not for I mean, this
Speaker 2: is my job for the rest of my life until
Speaker 2: I croak, and as many people in the world if
Speaker 2: they could get this, Oh my god. You mean it's
Speaker 2: as simple as that. Yes, well, yeah, but what about
Speaker 2: what about nothing? I got a chapter in there, do
Speaker 2: it anyway? There's a million reasons why it's hard to
Speaker 2: be helio be heliotropic anyway. I stole that from mother Teresa.
Speaker 2: And you know what I mean, it's not do good anyway,
Speaker 2: be good anyway? Yeah, but what about when they're what Yeah,
Speaker 2: you be generous anyway. What about when people take advantage
Speaker 2: of you? Yeah, that's okay, you know what, I'm okay
Speaker 2: with that. I'm going to go to my grave feeling
Speaker 2: really good about being a good person. And I can
Speaker 2: be a better person.
Speaker 1: And you can still be a good person and having
Speaker 1: boundaries too. You don't want people to walk all over you.
Speaker 2: To definitionally being a good person a good person. No, no,
Speaker 2: you can't. You can't. You can't come in the house,
Speaker 2: not with those shoes. I'm a very good person, which
Speaker 2: means you stay outside with those mney shoes.
Speaker 1: Where do you go? Not heliotropic in your life? Because
Speaker 1: I'm curious as I get irritated, what's your biggest thing? Like? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what you say? You got irritated with? What?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You were late for my podcast. I'm a guest.
Speaker 2: I'm organizing my late life to do this podcast.
Speaker 1: I had to put my baby down. Excuse me, I
Speaker 1: have every right you have my life.
Speaker 2: No, no, but here I am. You're putting your baby
Speaker 2: down way more important than me. You know, Well, it's
Speaker 2: a schedule for one. That's an small irritation. It's tiny,
Speaker 2: But I'm ten times better than I used to be Jenna.
Speaker 2: That's when I'm saying it out loud, I'm poking fun
Speaker 2: at myself. I used to be way worse. This work
Speaker 2: has made me a better person. I get irritated way less.
Speaker 2: You asked me, what are my biggest I think when
Speaker 2: people don't care, when people are dishonest, when people are
Speaker 2: are mean and nasty and disrespectful and unkind, and it
Speaker 2: does shock me. And they're in my ecosystem, They're in
Speaker 2: my world somehow, And how did I wind up with
Speaker 2: this person in my life? And I let them in
Speaker 2: or something? And so that's hard for me, Like how
Speaker 2: did I create a lot for this person? This is
Speaker 2: in my world? But I really work at that of
Speaker 2: not being irritated. And when I get irritated, because.
Speaker 1: Give us again some little nuggets for us to take
Speaker 1: away with that, because you've given us a lot.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I say, what else from the book? I
Speaker 2: see it? I mean, okay, So every chapter in that
Speaker 2: book is a reminder to me. Oh right, I can.
Speaker 2: I can take the high road. There's a chapter take
Speaker 2: the road. There's chapter smile and move on. When I
Speaker 2: get irritated, take a breath, smile, smile, but just too
Speaker 2: big a smile and move on. Smiling literally changes you, okay,
Speaker 2: you know, be your own best friend, be your own son.
Speaker 2: You know that's a tiny eat. By the way, each
Speaker 2: chapter is one page. What does that mean? It means
Speaker 2: take care of yourself. I do a lot of personal hygiene.
Speaker 2: I eat well, exercise, I get outside, I spend time
Speaker 2: with loved ones. I am my own son. I watch
Speaker 2: myself talk. I watch the words that I say to myself, Harry,
Speaker 2: You're such an idiot, you idiot? What what was that?
Speaker 2: I'm rattling them off because there's so many and they're
Speaker 2: interchangeably good. If I hear myself saying you idiot, because
Speaker 2: I'll say that, like, what's that? I'm not? You know,
Speaker 2: I just need a mistake, right, And so I love
Speaker 2: my ability to up my own game by seeing my
Speaker 2: flaws as ooh, those are teachers. Every obstacle is a teacher,
Speaker 2: every turd fest, every probect. I can't say that, I mean,
Speaker 2: I shouldn't say that, but.
Speaker 1: No, I love no. I love that. I always say that.
Speaker 1: It's like every everything. I love sometimes making the mistakes
Speaker 1: because I get great lessons from those. Those are the
Speaker 1: greatest lessons that's the.
Speaker 2: Whole idea, Jenna. You just answered it like, oh that,
Speaker 2: let that mistake teach me. What was the lessons? First grade?
Speaker 2: Second grade? I got to repeat it? Did I not learn?
Speaker 2: How about rushing? How about rushing? Look, I'm at three
Speaker 2: million mile delta, I'm a permanent diamond, and I still
Speaker 2: rush to the airport. Like, what is up with that?
Speaker 2: I think this is the year we'll see that I
Speaker 2: don't rush. I mean, how stupid is that? Rushing? That's
Speaker 2: dumbest dumb, you know, not dressing properly, not being Oh
Speaker 2: I got one for this year. I read it. I
Speaker 2: got so many piles of debris that are just messes,
Speaker 2: and I allow messes to gobble up my precious energy
Speaker 2: so I can clean up my messes or not make them,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, And so I
Speaker 2: love this work because it's simple. I read a lot,
Speaker 2: and I forget most everything I read, but I can
Speaker 2: remember be the sun. Not to be kind, Jane. I
Speaker 2: want you to spread this to the world. I want
Speaker 2: you to be uplifting to yourself mostly really kind to yourself,
Speaker 2: no matter what you got through the little nerds to
Speaker 2: take care of plus yourself four nerds, four little nerds
Speaker 2: to take care of. I want you to be so
Speaker 2: compassionate for giving and loving to the four of you
Speaker 2: that your life is forever immediately transformed. That this podcast
Speaker 2: just sticks with you like a virus that never leaves
Speaker 2: a healthy virus. You're immune from getting bummed out. But
Speaker 2: your buddy, I love that you're bummed out in this
Speaker 2: lasts I don't know a minute, Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's a good reminder for everyone to
Speaker 1: go into the new year to be the Sun not
Speaker 1: the Salt. And I just I love that, and again
Speaker 1: I just want like for me again, this year is
Speaker 1: all about just shedding that energy of letting other people's
Speaker 1: hatefulness come into my sacred space. And so I think
Speaker 1: again that's a great reminder, be the Sun not the salt.
Speaker 1: And that'll be kind of my mantra for the year.
Speaker 1: And I hope it's everyone else's that's listening. So thank you.
Speaker 1: And where can our listeners find you?
Speaker 2: You can find me on Be the Sun Not the Salt,
Speaker 2: on your favorite wherever you find podcasts, Be the Sun
Speaker 2: Not the Salt. As a website, we try and keep
Speaker 2: fresh with new stuff. But we're going to do podcasts
Speaker 2: of guests who can tell stories about how this has
Speaker 2: helped them.
Speaker 1: I love that you want to.
Speaker 2: Be a podcast guest. All you got to be is
Speaker 2: a good person with a story to tell, and how
Speaker 2: Be the Sun Not the Salt has helped you. So
Speaker 2: whenever you're ready, if you want to be a guest,
Speaker 2: and you say, you know this really helped me. In
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three, I met this guy, I read this book,
Speaker 2: saw this thing, and it's been so much My life
Speaker 2: has been so much better. That story will help a
Speaker 2: bunch of people, Janna, So find us on where you
Speaker 2: find podcasts Be the Sun Not the Salt, pick up
Speaker 2: the book, give it out as a gift. Mostly practice
Speaker 2: being that way. And that's my mission and for myself
Speaker 2: and for you. And I'm not kidding about that offer
Speaker 2: for front row seats at the Big Oh.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have my peeps get your info. So
Speaker 1: thank you. Will definitely take you up on that. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. But seriously, thank you, and thanks for
Speaker 1: coming on. And I'll see you in Detroit.
Speaker 2: Soon, okay. I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Okay, And I'll be a guest on your podcast and
Speaker 1: I'll be three minutes early. All right, So how's that.
Speaker 2: But you have to have a story to tell about
Speaker 2: how this really helped.
Speaker 1: I will. I will for sure it already has. Thank you,
Speaker 1: all right, Bye bye,