WEBVTT - Our Unique Union (Part 2)

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, fam I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the

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<v Speaker 1>Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the

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<v Speaker 1>Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review

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<v Speaker 1>on Apple Podcasts. Last time at the Red Table, Will

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<v Speaker 1>and I shared some very private truths about our relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>I was building a picture. I felt that money and

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<v Speaker 1>winning made a good relationship, just like any couple has

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<v Speaker 1>been together for close to twenty five years. We went

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<v Speaker 1>through every emotion. There was a period where Mommy woke

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<v Speaker 1>up and cried forty five days straight, and one day

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<v Speaker 1>our marriage came crashing down. I was failing miserably. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't do this like this anymore. We came to the

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<v Speaker 1>realization that we had to redefine our relationship. This is

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<v Speaker 1>our journey to finding unconditional love. We're back at the

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<v Speaker 1>Red Table with Will because episode one was not enough,

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<v Speaker 1>so we're going to continue the conversation. Where was your

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<v Speaker 1>hardest time in our marriage? I think the turning point

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<v Speaker 1>in our relationship for me happened when I turned forty.

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<v Speaker 1>That's when I had a midlife crisis. Yeah, your forty

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<v Speaker 1>birthday was my low point. The day after her thirty

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<v Speaker 1>seventh birthday, I hired a team to orchestrate her fortieth birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>I had hired a documentary team. I traced Mommy's family roots.

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<v Speaker 1>Her fortieth birthday was gonna be my thing. It was

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be a splash Mary J. Blige. Mary J. Blige

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<v Speaker 1>performed that debuted the film all of that. It was

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<v Speaker 1>going to be the thing that lifted her out of

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<v Speaker 1>this midlife crisis. And she was gonna be my deepest,

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<v Speaker 1>most beautiful proclamation of love. And we did it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I had found tapes of Jada's grandmother, and her grandmother

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<v Speaker 1>had recorded these voice messages over the last like eight

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<v Speaker 1>months of her life, and it was tapes that Jada

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<v Speaker 1>had never heard. So Jada had to sit there and listen.

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<v Speaker 1>I understand thoroughly now at the time I didn't. But

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<v Speaker 1>she's listening to these never before her tapes of one

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<v Speaker 1>of the dearest people she's ever known in her life,

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<v Speaker 1>in front of all of these people. So she's holding

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<v Speaker 1>it together, she's getting it together. Then I had Mary J.

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<v Speaker 1>Blige performing the whole time. I'm like the little boy

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<v Speaker 1>that wants Mommy to say everything was wonderful. Right, and

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<v Speaker 1>she's having a really difficult emotional time. And then when

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<v Speaker 1>we got back to the room, it was me, you

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<v Speaker 1>and mommy and we were talking about the next day

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<v Speaker 1>and they were things playing for the next day, and

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<v Speaker 1>she said, I'm not sure I want to do anything

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<v Speaker 1>the next day. You can just cancel it. And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>well we can. Let's keep it and then tomorrow you

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<v Speaker 1>can decide. She was like, I'm telling you now, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to do anything tomorrow. And I was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>it's okay, it's okay, we'll just wait and see. I

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<v Speaker 1>just wanted to have intimate, just intimate time. And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, well, I'll cancel. To mar she was like,

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<v Speaker 1>it's my birthday, right, And she's told me that the

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<v Speaker 1>party was the most ridiculous display of my ego. Crushed, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And to this day I know I was crushed because

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<v Speaker 1>it was true. It wasn't a party for her. And

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<v Speaker 1>when she called me on that, that's when I snapped.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm sorry. That was the only time you ever

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<v Speaker 1>heard me snap, thank god, And I snapped in front

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<v Speaker 1>of Willow. Was the only time in her childhood she

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<v Speaker 1>ever saw me snap. And I saw her look and

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<v Speaker 1>Willow Star was crying and I was like, baby, I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. Just figure it out, you guys, please just

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<v Speaker 1>figure it out. Just figure it out, right, And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, and this is that was a display that

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<v Speaker 1>moment of like me having the courage to just say no,

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<v Speaker 1>but now I had to have the courage to unravel

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<v Speaker 1>it and just realizing this next forty I gotta do

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<v Speaker 1>it my way. This next half has to be directed

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<v Speaker 1>by my picture for myself. I have to say that

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<v Speaker 1>when you guys were going through that transition, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what the hell right, because everything was just changing. Well yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but I didn't know there was a need for change.

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<v Speaker 1>There was so much that wasn't me, that I was

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<v Speaker 1>living so much inauthenticity. I do think that there're a

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<v Speaker 1>lot more people living lives that aren't true then because

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<v Speaker 1>of their fear. So I understand, and there's no judgment.

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<v Speaker 1>I did it right, and with some of that which

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<v Speaker 1>you felt like you had to present yourself to the public.

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<v Speaker 1>I was much more conscious of public perception than Jada. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>there was an idea. I think I was trying to

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<v Speaker 1>live up to an idea for him. Right, I got

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<v Speaker 1>some pictures I was crying so hard after your birthday

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<v Speaker 1>that my eyes were looked so red. I took pictures

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<v Speaker 1>of myself and I was like, I want to remember this.

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<v Speaker 1>That was a difficult one for me when you stopped

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<v Speaker 1>clapping when I did things in the exterior world that

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<v Speaker 1>were great. Willow really broke it for me with with

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<v Speaker 1>my hair. In the middle of all the whip my

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<v Speaker 1>hair stuff. She was on tour and it was she

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<v Speaker 1>was having it was a great show and everything was amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like it was we were at the top

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<v Speaker 1>of the world. With my hair. It's blade jay Z

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<v Speaker 1>side is beautiful. And she was like, Okay, I'm done, Daddy.

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<v Speaker 1>That was like, sweetie, you can't. You can't be done.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, you made a commitment. She was like, but

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<v Speaker 1>I got I'm finished. I was like, I'm no, sweetie,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can't be finished. You made a commitment to

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<v Speaker 1>Mr jay Z. He's no, daddy, you made a commitment

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<v Speaker 1>to Mr jay Z. Yes. You were like, Daddy, it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't it doesn't matter that I'm done. Yes, sweetie, it

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<v Speaker 1>matters a lot, it does, But you can't be done.

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<v Speaker 1>She came down the next day and had shaved her

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<v Speaker 1>head ball. I was like, does she know what she's doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Like that was a deep protest. What it did from

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<v Speaker 1>me is I had a crazy realization in that moment

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<v Speaker 1>I was building what I wanted for her, and she

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<v Speaker 1>tried all of the different ways to say I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want that. I was like, I get it. And I

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<v Speaker 1>saw for the first time what Jada had been saying

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<v Speaker 1>the whole time, about hiding behind my ego and my

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<v Speaker 1>dream meams and my desires and pretending like it's love.

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<v Speaker 1>And I realized she didn't want none of the stuff

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<v Speaker 1>I had built. The house was too big, it was

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<v Speaker 1>always too many people here. She didn't want to have

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<v Speaker 1>to travel theway we traveled. She didn't want all of

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<v Speaker 1>her kids to be getting trolled on Twitter like. She

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<v Speaker 1>didn't want any of that. And that's why I stopped clapping.

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<v Speaker 1>There was a decline from there. To have to let

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<v Speaker 1>go of the picture, to have to let go of

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<v Speaker 1>the dream was devastating. We essentially had to destroy our marriage.

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<v Speaker 1>She was like, I can't do this anymore, and to me,

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<v Speaker 1>that was it was over. But she divorce was never

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<v Speaker 1>even an option. I was like, wait, a man, hold no, no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>Like when people I was reading in the tabloids that

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<v Speaker 1>we were getting divorced and all of that stuff, and

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<v Speaker 1>it was like it was never didn't see the divorce

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<v Speaker 1>lawyer was like, that was never. It was never even

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<v Speaker 1>to consider mine, Like, but was it for you? Because

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<v Speaker 1>I had been divorced before, I wasn't getting divorced again, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't like divorce wasn't an option. There was a

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<v Speaker 1>time when I was scared that she might know I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna tell you like this, I put in too much period.

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<v Speaker 1>What is most important to me is my family. You

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<v Speaker 1>would think about the kids. I was thinking about our family,

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<v Speaker 1>not even just our immediate nucleus, but we have such

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<v Speaker 1>a huge extended family. And I knew that divorce wasn't necessary.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do that? Why create all that disruption? I told

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<v Speaker 1>Will from the gate, I said, let me tell you something.

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<v Speaker 1>If you marry me, know this, We're going to be together.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna be under the same roof. You might be

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<v Speaker 1>on one end of that joker with somebody else, with

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<v Speaker 1>somebody else, And I always said that it's ridiculous. We're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be yeah, in this joke together. That's what we

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<v Speaker 1>are gonna do. That's not what either of us wants.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't want to leave this table making people

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<v Speaker 1>feel like divorce is wrong. Sometimes that is what you need,

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<v Speaker 1>right for whatever you need to discover about your situation yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>But for me personally, I knew that there was no

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<v Speaker 1>reason that he and I whatever, We just needed to

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<v Speaker 1>get to agreement between he and I. I was devastated,

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<v Speaker 1>even worse than a divorce. We we broke up within

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<v Speaker 1>our marriage and got back together again. I had to rebuild.

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<v Speaker 1>I had to rebuild with new rules and something way different,

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<v Speaker 1>something way completely different. The thing about it is that

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<v Speaker 1>you really have to go your separate ways to figure

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<v Speaker 1>out your stuff. You gotta be strong enough and understand

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<v Speaker 1>clearly what it is you're in search for. You know

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<v Speaker 1>what it is you want, what it is you don't want,

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<v Speaker 1>because that whole time when you're when you're in a union,

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<v Speaker 1>you're pointing fingers because you're thinking it's your partner because

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<v Speaker 1>her fault. This house is great, exactly, This house is great,

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<v Speaker 1>this family is great. In a golden cage, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean, And so you have to get your

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<v Speaker 1>life built for her appreciated. A golden cage is a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful cage. But you have to go your separate ways

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<v Speaker 1>and get out of each other's way to really see yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>So I had to go away gain my strength as

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<v Speaker 1>Jada again, not mommy, not wife Jada. That's the big one.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the big one. People say it all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to find myself. Yo. That's real. That's real talk.

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<v Speaker 1>That's real talk. Right. I took off for two years. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I worked on myself. I've read on marriage and relationships

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<v Speaker 1>and behavioral psychology. I was not going to fail in

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<v Speaker 1>this marriage, right, But I shut down for two entire

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<v Speaker 1>years to see what what was I doing wrong? And

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<v Speaker 1>it takes a lot of beating up on each other

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<v Speaker 1>because really what you're breaking down is all the fantasies,

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<v Speaker 1>burning away, all of your fantasies because that fantasy starts

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<v Speaker 1>so young, yes, and you hold on too that for

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<v Speaker 1>damn life, because that's all you know. Right. Ultimately, to

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<v Speaker 1>have a successful relationship, you have to be in a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with a human being, imperfect, flawed human being. Because

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<v Speaker 1>what happens was our characters. We're trying to have a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you're gonna wear a mask, then the person

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<v Speaker 1>is trying to love your mask right there, trying to

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<v Speaker 1>love the image that you're presenting. But that's not what

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<v Speaker 1>you really need. What you really come to understand that

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<v Speaker 1>there's no right or wrong. Everybody's operating from a place

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<v Speaker 1>of hurt. Everybody's broken, everybody's broken. And what I realized

0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 1>the idea that my brokenness created. All of my discomfort

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 1>absolutely mine to the fact that I was broken, and

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<v Speaker 1>I learned how to look fixed to the world. Will

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<v Speaker 1>Smith is a character, right, but deep down inside I

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<v Speaker 1>was an insecure little boy that wanted Jada to say

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<v Speaker 1>I was great, right, and if she didn't say I

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<v Speaker 1>was great, the dragon came out. But for me personally,

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<v Speaker 1>I had a lot of emotional maturity to do. I

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<v Speaker 1>had just realized I had a lot of childhood traumas

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<v Speaker 1>that I had brought to me that I wasn't aware

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<v Speaker 1>of a lot of father issues, And you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>realized that I had to learn to be a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of things for myself because I used to think, well,

0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:14.319
<v Speaker 1>if you don't need somebody, then you can't love them exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you're not needed, then you're not loved. That

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<v Speaker 1>was a false belief I had. I can't expect someone

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<v Speaker 1>to love me more than me. You know, if you

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<v Speaker 1>don't like being with you, how it makes you think

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<v Speaker 1>somebody else wants to be with you if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>love yourself, we expect people to love us more than

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<v Speaker 1>we love ourselves. We expect other people to do the

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<v Speaker 1>work for us. I definitely went through that with Will.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought it was his job to make me feel

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<v Speaker 1>a certain way. I had to break that fantasy. I

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<v Speaker 1>actually retired. I said, Jada, you know what, I retired.

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<v Speaker 1>I am no longer doing the job of trying to

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<v Speaker 1>make you happy. You know what, You are free to

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<v Speaker 1>go make yourself happy, and you do anything anything you

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<v Speaker 1>want to make yourself happy, and you bring your ass

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<v Speaker 1>back here happy, just to show me that it's even possible. Yep,

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<v Speaker 1>just fly delicate. You know. I was angry, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>really that's true, And that's the thing I had to learn.

0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:31.200
<v Speaker 1>I have to be the thing that I'm asking for,

0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 1>and if I can be it, then I can create it.

0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 1>I would say, if there were a thing that was

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 1>the most detrimental um to our relationship during that time,

0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.960
<v Speaker 1>was my unconsciousness. The other side of that is the

0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:52.880
<v Speaker 1>key to a relationship is understanding your partner's plight. Right,

0:14:53.160 --> 0:15:00.479
<v Speaker 1>there's nothing greater for a human being than to feel understood.

0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 1>I had built everything I had ever dreamed about as

0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:08.400
<v Speaker 1>a little boy. I saw this family, I saw this life.

0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:11.160
<v Speaker 1>I've been building this, and I was like, no, no, no no,

0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:16.600
<v Speaker 1>what's important is how we're connecting internally, like how we're

0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:22.200
<v Speaker 1>relating to heart. We're the complete opposite. These are the

0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:26.560
<v Speaker 1>things that we had to break, Yes, come to new

0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:32.600
<v Speaker 1>understanding and recreate. Will and I have decided to even

0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:35.600
<v Speaker 1>throw away the concept of marriage. We don't even call

0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:39.480
<v Speaker 1>ourselves marriage anymore. You know. It's a life partnership in

0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:44.160
<v Speaker 1>the sense that we've created a foundation together that we

0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.359
<v Speaker 1>know is for this lifetime. This lifetime, we have devoted

0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:52.800
<v Speaker 1>ourselves to each other in a spiritual sense and a

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:58.480
<v Speaker 1>spiritual sense, spiritual emotional. It's like, whatever she needs, she

0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:00.440
<v Speaker 1>can count on me for the rest of her life,

0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 1>and vice versa to me. It gives us the freedom

0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:07.280
<v Speaker 1>to create a different context, first of all, for ourselves

0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 1>and not have to live up to the expectation of

0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:15.280
<v Speaker 1>what people consider marriage to Expectations are the mother of disappointment.

0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I can't Yeah, I can't do him

0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:22.240
<v Speaker 1>and Now there's no fight, there's no struggle, there's no

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:26.440
<v Speaker 1>me needing him to be something or do something. There's

0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:30.720
<v Speaker 1>nothing that could happen that we won't be together and

0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:34.760
<v Speaker 1>love each other and love each other through, love each

0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:37.600
<v Speaker 1>other through. And it's not because we're just saying it.

0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:42.720
<v Speaker 1>It's because we've cracked each other's heads wide open. Yeah, right,

0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:46.440
<v Speaker 1>And we woke up the next day and high fived

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.520
<v Speaker 1>and kept going right. And I think that's the part

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:54.400
<v Speaker 1>that we set each other free right, And people really

0:16:54.440 --> 0:17:01.040
<v Speaker 1>struggle with that. The things that Jada needs to be happy,

0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to agree with them, all right. I

0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:09.080
<v Speaker 1>truly have learned the definition of unconditional love. And to me,

0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:13.760
<v Speaker 1>that's what it's about. I love you, I support you.

0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to help you be happy no matter what.

0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:20.119
<v Speaker 1>I don't have to like it. Yeah, I describe it

0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.480
<v Speaker 1>as the day the deal breakers are gone. We don't

0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:28.800
<v Speaker 1>have any deal breakers. I always knew I'm not marriaged material.

0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:33.159
<v Speaker 1>What I am is right check. What you are is

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:40.240
<v Speaker 1>the best friend that I've ever had. Kay, You're the

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:44.680
<v Speaker 1>best partner I've ever had, and sometimes that gets lost

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.920
<v Speaker 1>any marriage. And I think for many years you and

0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:52.520
<v Speaker 1>I oh man, I know, we really kind of tried

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.879
<v Speaker 1>to fit into the We tried. We tried really hard.

0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:59.199
<v Speaker 1>What we have between us is family and friendship. You know,

0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:03.000
<v Speaker 1>it's a life partnership. We are in a union. No

0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:07.520
<v Speaker 1>matter what we talk about any we talk about anything

0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:14.680
<v Speaker 1>and everything. We could we could break a ray table,

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.840
<v Speaker 1>but from of the stuff we talk about real talk.

0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:23.720
<v Speaker 1>To me, that's what being in a relationship. That's what

0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:25.960
<v Speaker 1>I need. And I'm not saying that's for every woman.

0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 1>That's what Jada needs, you know what needs. When people

0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:36.359
<v Speaker 1>say love, they mean it transactionally. Right. I love you

0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.720
<v Speaker 1>as long as you do things that make me feel good.

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.160
<v Speaker 1>If you don't do the things that make me feel good,

0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:46.520
<v Speaker 1>or if you even worse, you do something that makes

0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:49.760
<v Speaker 1>me feel bad, I don't love you. And I'm going

0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:54.800
<v Speaker 1>to discount, going to disconnect myself from you. When you

0:18:54.880 --> 0:19:00.240
<v Speaker 1>go to sleep at night knowing you have an unbreakable

0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:07.199
<v Speaker 1>love and unbreakable friendship and unbreakable connection, that's how you

0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.159
<v Speaker 1>want to go to sleep every night. Yeah, and that

0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.720
<v Speaker 1>your love for the truth, for the truth. Yes, you

0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 1>are not who you think you should be for somebody,

0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 1>and that has been the ultimate release and freedom. In

0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:27.359
<v Speaker 1>my experience, the thing that everybody's looking for is not

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:32.560
<v Speaker 1>found in trapping a person to vows. And releasing each

0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:37.159
<v Speaker 1>other from obligations and expectations has made all of the

0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:40.720
<v Speaker 1>moments blissful. We did a thing probably about four years ago.

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:44.239
<v Speaker 1>It was like, Okay, here's the deal. We're only going

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.080
<v Speaker 1>to do the things together we love. What happened is

0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:51.160
<v Speaker 1>we gave each other ten days out of the year

0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.920
<v Speaker 1>that we would do with the other person. One vacation

0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:55.800
<v Speaker 1>in the summer. She'll come with me because I want

0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:57.960
<v Speaker 1>to while out. I want to be the volcano I wanted.

0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.960
<v Speaker 1>And she's that's not vacation for her, right, So but

0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 1>she'll go with me for those ten days, and then

0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.560
<v Speaker 1>I'll come for Christmas and sit around and do the

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:13.120
<v Speaker 1>same stuff we did last year with the same where

0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:20.679
<v Speaker 1>do we at all? With the same songs? Right? She

0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:23.919
<v Speaker 1>wants to go on vacations. She wants nostalgia to do

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:26.480
<v Speaker 1>the same things over and over again. And when I

0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 1>go tradition, no, I get it, and I'm there for

0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:34.480
<v Speaker 1>ten days, right, But I want to go in an adventure.

0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't ever want to go to same places second time.

0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:41.600
<v Speaker 1>And we really gave each other the freedom to do

0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:47.880
<v Speaker 1>the things that the world is my home. Anywhere I am,

0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm comfortable, and Jada just doesn't that. She doesn't want it.

0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:57.600
<v Speaker 1>It's not fun, it's disruptive. She runs around the globe

0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:03.399
<v Speaker 1>of the soul. That's real time. Yeah, the internal you

0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:10.439
<v Speaker 1>got Lenny Kravitz lyrics like, but that's true. You do

0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:14.199
<v Speaker 1>the external journeying and I do the internal Jarney. It

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:18.200
<v Speaker 1>took a lot of stepping of Will and I together

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:22.760
<v Speaker 1>apart together, a lot of understanding, a lot of communication.

0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:27.480
<v Speaker 1>But it took years. It took years, and I would

0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:31.360
<v Speaker 1>say we are just now getting to a place probably

0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 1>I would say the last year. Yeah, probably, I've had

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of change in both of you in the

0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:41.399
<v Speaker 1>last year. Last year has been amazing. The paradox of

0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:45.760
<v Speaker 1>it all is so crazy. The pain that Jada caused

0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:48.560
<v Speaker 1>me was the pain I needed to survive to learn

0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:53.600
<v Speaker 1>how to be happy and vice right, I've never been

0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:59.760
<v Speaker 1>happier in my life either. So well, now that we've

0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 1>to to the table, are we concerned about all the

0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:06.560
<v Speaker 1>beautiful rumors that will now stir up in the media.

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:10.879
<v Speaker 1>It's going to be alright, So let's all right, So

0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:14.200
<v Speaker 1>hold on, let's clear some rumors. No, no, no, no no,

0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:17.159
<v Speaker 1>it's not possible, but just to have it on record,

0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:21.520
<v Speaker 1>just think historical rumors. We've never been scientologists. True, we've

0:22:21.560 --> 0:22:24.960
<v Speaker 1>never been swingers, never been never been swing People understood

0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:27.920
<v Speaker 1>that that's a specific lifestyle. That's a really specific slide.

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:30.280
<v Speaker 1>We've never been swingers. What else? Gam what they what

0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:32.639
<v Speaker 1>they're gonna say. It's really your friends that we're worried about.

0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:35.399
<v Speaker 1>You shouldn't be worried about anybody at all at the

0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:38.920
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, because people don't believe whatever they

0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:42.080
<v Speaker 1>want to leave, and who knows, if you know it

0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:45.400
<v Speaker 1>might change and transition again. You know why I never

0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:53.720
<v Speaker 1>got divorced. It's cheaper to keep me even um because

0:22:54.000 --> 0:22:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I've never met anybody like you, and I knew if

0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:00.159
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't with you, I'd be searching in vain for

0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:07.000
<v Speaker 1>the rest of my life. Oh the word. See sometimes

0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:13.560
<v Speaker 1>he says the right thing, the truth. Thank you for coming.

0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:17.320
<v Speaker 1>We appreciate you, and I just want to say thank

0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:21.520
<v Speaker 1>you for everything. We love you. I love you to death.

0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:24.840
<v Speaker 1>You have found something with this red table, in this

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 1>space that I tried my damned this to build for

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:33.639
<v Speaker 1>you the space where you get to fully and honestly

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:38.520
<v Speaker 1>and thoroughly be you and to get all of the

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:42.000
<v Speaker 1>love and the praise that you deserve. When I see

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:46.600
<v Speaker 1>you on this Red table, it is the joy that

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:52.399
<v Speaker 1>I have always hoped you would have. Thank you. I

0:23:52.520 --> 0:24:01.440
<v Speaker 1>always knew he was the best thing man ever. Oh

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:04.919
<v Speaker 1>my gosh, thank you. That means a lot to me.

0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:13.800
<v Speaker 1>I love you. On our next Red Table Talk, Will

0:24:13.840 --> 0:24:17.480
<v Speaker 1>and I always being accused of being scientologists and this

0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:20.200
<v Speaker 1>and being that. I was just caught up in that

0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:23.640
<v Speaker 1>pain and also the pain of others. I was hurt,

0:24:23.960 --> 0:24:31.440
<v Speaker 1>but Jada I wasn't even considering that she would be hurt. Damn.

0:24:31.480 --> 0:24:44.280
<v Speaker 1>Get in all right, everybody, nothing nasty. I came on

0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:47.280
<v Speaker 1>the Red Table. I smashed a smashed. They never had

0:24:47.320 --> 0:24:49.399
<v Speaker 1>a guest like me. They might they might have to

0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 1>cancel the show because it's like what they're gonna do

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:58.560
<v Speaker 1>after that. Hey, hey, red Table Talk family, let's head

0:24:58.600 --> 0:25:01.920
<v Speaker 1>to our Red Table Talk Facebook watch show page. Join

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:04.840
<v Speaker 1>the conversation and become a part of red table Talk.

0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:07.199
<v Speaker 1>To join the red Table Talk family and become a

0:25:07.240 --> 0:25:10.400
<v Speaker 1>part of the conversation, follow us at Facebook dot com,

0:25:10.680 --> 0:25:13.920
<v Speaker 1>slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode

0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:18.199
<v Speaker 1>of red Table Talk podcast, produced by Facebook Watch, Westbrook Audio,

0:25:18.520 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 1>and I Heart Radio.