WEBVTT - Be Curious, Not Judgemental (Outweigh)

0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.560
<v Speaker 1>I won't let my body out be outwait everything that

0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:05.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm made done.

0:00:05.960 --> 0:00:09.640
<v Speaker 2>Won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning love

0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:10.760
<v Speaker 2>who I.

0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:14.480
<v Speaker 3>Am, I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know

0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:15.840
<v Speaker 3>every part of me.

0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.759
<v Speaker 2>It's beautiful.

0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:24.439
<v Speaker 1>And then will always out way if you feel it,

0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.400
<v Speaker 1>but you are, She'll some love to the body. Have there?

0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:33.159
<v Speaker 2>Take you a day, Anita? Did you and die out way?

0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:35.800
<v Speaker 3>Happy Saturday?

0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:39.720
<v Speaker 4>Outweigh Amy here and kat I saw this article the

0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.520
<v Speaker 4>other day that said, if you're ever told something rude

0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:47.360
<v Speaker 4>or negative by a coworker or a friend, a response

0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:51.080
<v Speaker 4>that you can give without being insulting back to them

0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:54.960
<v Speaker 4>is just looking at them and saying, are you okay?

0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:59.440
<v Speaker 4>And I don't know how I feel about it? I

0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:03.120
<v Speaker 4>think that, but it could come across as passive aggressive

0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:06.039
<v Speaker 4>depending on your tone or how you say it. But

0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.680
<v Speaker 4>you know that comment that people love to put on

0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:12.360
<v Speaker 4>Instagram for a lot of people's photos, but sometimes it

0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.000
<v Speaker 4>ends up undermine which A guy posted it the other

0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:17.880
<v Speaker 4>day and it was like eat a burger, why don't you?

0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.440
<v Speaker 4>And I kind of I wanted to just reply. I

0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:22.200
<v Speaker 4>didn't even give him the time of day, but I

0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:26.840
<v Speaker 4>wanted to reply, are you okay, Like why are you

0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:31.200
<v Speaker 4>commenting on someone's photo, so like something's wrong with you?

0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:31.880
<v Speaker 3>Are you okay?

0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:33.800
<v Speaker 4>But then I'm trying to picture myself that's a stranger

0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:35.760
<v Speaker 4>on the internet, and that's a way to kind of

0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:38.559
<v Speaker 4>shut it down. But with your friend or your coworker,

0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:43.039
<v Speaker 4>the article was saying, it's a way to respond, but

0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:45.959
<v Speaker 4>again not say anything rude back, and then it'll make

0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.760
<v Speaker 4>them reflect like, oh am I okay, why did I

0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:49.320
<v Speaker 4>just say that?

0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:51.440
<v Speaker 3>Or maybe what I just said was wrong?

0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:53.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:56.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel like this could work. I also feel like

0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:59.080
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't. I kind of like that as a response

0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:02.760
<v Speaker 1>to somebody who's maliciously trolling you on the internet. Of

0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:04.800
<v Speaker 1>it's almost kind of I'm not going to take this

0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:06.800
<v Speaker 1>so seriously and I'm gonna throw this back at you.

0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:08.280
<v Speaker 2>That is passive aggressive.

0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:11.120
<v Speaker 1>But if it's with somebody that's in your life, you

0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.840
<v Speaker 1>would really have to finesse the tone and the delivery

0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:15.640
<v Speaker 1>of are you okay?

0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.480
<v Speaker 4>Which it's outweigh A cat has been on here before,

0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.440
<v Speaker 4>but I guess I should properly introduce you as licensed

0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:27.200
<v Speaker 4>therapist Kat Defada, host of You Need Therapy podcast, and

0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.800
<v Speaker 4>Kat's joining me today for this quick conversation about what

0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.680
<v Speaker 4>to do when people say something negative to you. And

0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.680
<v Speaker 4>we've talked about how you know, if we're triggered by it,

0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:40.800
<v Speaker 4>that's that's our problem. I'm not triggered by that comment

0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:43.160
<v Speaker 4>or if someone brings something up about food anymore because

0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:45.760
<v Speaker 4>I've done the work myself. And so that's a whole

0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:50.240
<v Speaker 4>nother conversation of like, don't let anybody rain on your

0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:52.960
<v Speaker 4>parade or get to you, but obviously you need to

0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:55.320
<v Speaker 4>respond in a way or if you want to stand

0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.760
<v Speaker 4>up for yourself. So what if someone does say something negative,

0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:02.079
<v Speaker 4>Like you, as a therapist, what would you advise us

0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:06.880
<v Speaker 4>to say, like, hey, why are you eating that? Or oh,

0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.040
<v Speaker 4>are you sure you want to eat that? Or or

0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.320
<v Speaker 4>in person, you should eat a burger? Like how do

0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:13.280
<v Speaker 4>we respond to that?

0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.000
<v Speaker 1>So if we were just to take that what we

0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:17.120
<v Speaker 1>just were talking about, are you okay? And somebody made

0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.280
<v Speaker 1>a comment at a meal and it's like us, all

0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:21.200
<v Speaker 1>you're getting you probably should get a burger.

0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:23.360
<v Speaker 2>If I just were to say back to my friend,

0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:24.320
<v Speaker 2>are you okay?

0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.359
<v Speaker 1>To me? That feels combative and it feels like it's

0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:32.440
<v Speaker 1>welcoming in unhealthy conflict, which conflict can be healthy versus

0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I can say I didn't really like that you just

0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:38.800
<v Speaker 1>asked me that. I can say, I'm kind of curious

0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.400
<v Speaker 1>why you feel it's okay to comment on what I'm eating.

0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:45.520
<v Speaker 1>You can say, you know, it feels kind of judgmental

0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:49.040
<v Speaker 1>when you make those comments, and I'm wondering what's behind them.

0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.560
<v Speaker 1>That's still conflict, right, that's still we have to have

0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:56.840
<v Speaker 1>this dialog log and repair. But it's not this like uninviting,

0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.680
<v Speaker 1>like I'm ready to fight, like are you okay?

0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:00.000
<v Speaker 2>It's like I'm trying to push it back.

0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Gone you're saying something's wrong with me, I'm saying something's

0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.360
<v Speaker 1>wrong with you, when I'm just saying I'm curious, what

0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:06.600
<v Speaker 1>made you say that.

0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.680
<v Speaker 4>I was having a conversation with a friend just the

0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:13.640
<v Speaker 4>other day and I mentioned that I don't have a scale,

0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:18.440
<v Speaker 4>and it was a male and he said, what you know,

0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:22.760
<v Speaker 4>I have a scale. That's weird And I thought, well, no,

0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.360
<v Speaker 4>it's not weird to me because I got rid of

0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.159
<v Speaker 4>it a long time ago, because I was getting on

0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.960
<v Speaker 4>it all the time, like it was something that I

0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.799
<v Speaker 4>think I could have one. Now I'm in a different place,

0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.240
<v Speaker 4>but there was a time where I kind of had

0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.920
<v Speaker 4>to just clean house, if you will. And it's like

0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:41.880
<v Speaker 4>I don't need to wake up and weigh myself first thing,

0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:43.680
<v Speaker 4>or I don't need to weigh myself after a meal,

0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.039
<v Speaker 4>or and I was working on that, or when I

0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.279
<v Speaker 4>go to the doctor, I don't want to be again

0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.520
<v Speaker 4>see something and like have it spark something in me?

0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.359
<v Speaker 4>And so we've talked before about how when you go

0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.240
<v Speaker 4>to the doctor you can actually say like, hey, I'd

0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.200
<v Speaker 4>passed on being weighed, or can I turn around or

0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:00.039
<v Speaker 4>whatever you need to do.

0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:01.240
<v Speaker 3>To protect yourself with that.

0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:04.960
<v Speaker 4>But I felt so judged for not having a scale,

0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.200
<v Speaker 4>so much so that I was like, well, maybe I

0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:10.640
<v Speaker 4>could just get one. I don't know, But to me,

0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.719
<v Speaker 4>I felt I got defensive. Yeah, and I was like,

0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.479
<v Speaker 4>why do you not understand? It's like you're I was like,

0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:16.360
<v Speaker 4>why are you making a big deal.

0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:17.520
<v Speaker 3>About this scale?

0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:19.680
<v Speaker 4>And this is someone that's been a friend of mine

0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:22.280
<v Speaker 4>for a very long time and they know that I'm

0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:25.839
<v Speaker 4>in recovery. So it was just interesting to me that

0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.480
<v Speaker 4>he didn't get why I didn't want to scale.

0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.520
<v Speaker 1>You know what this makes me think of, I'm rewatching

0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.400
<v Speaker 1>ted Lasso from the beginning.

0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:36.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh nice, and I just watched the dart scene. Do

0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.360
<v Speaker 2>you remember that scene? It's one of the best scenes

0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:39.599
<v Speaker 2>of the whole entire show.

0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:40.000
<v Speaker 3>Uh huh.

0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:41.640
<v Speaker 2>But he talks about that quote be.

0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:46.159
<v Speaker 1>Curious, not judgmental, and that is making me think when

0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:50.480
<v Speaker 1>people are oh, I don't even scale, that's weird, that's judgmental,

0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.760
<v Speaker 1>versus you know, I'm a scale.

0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.920
<v Speaker 2>Huh. I use my scale every day. What happened to

0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:57.279
<v Speaker 2>your scale? Have you ever had a scale?

0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.240
<v Speaker 1>And then it invites this conversation where he can understand you.

0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.520
<v Speaker 1>It's the same thing with the burger comment of like, oh,

0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.880
<v Speaker 1>you need to eat a burger. It's like, huh, that

0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:08.039
<v Speaker 1>doesn't feel like a lot of food. Are you not hungry?

0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:10.400
<v Speaker 1>Still not like the best thing to say. I think

0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.240
<v Speaker 1>we should maybe at meal times not comment on people's food,

0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:16.920
<v Speaker 1>But that still welcomes in a conversation versus me telling

0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.360
<v Speaker 1>you that you're doing something wrong, and then instead of

0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.640
<v Speaker 1>me going back, are you okay, it's like, oh, well,

0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.920
<v Speaker 1>thank you for asking and not telling me that I'm

0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:25.720
<v Speaker 1>doing something wrong.

0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.400
<v Speaker 4>I had an Instagram post up from iHeart Country with

0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:33.640
<v Speaker 4>Sam Hunt, and I posted one that wasn't flattering. Someone

0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:35.720
<v Speaker 4>had taken our photo when we were like mid sentence,

0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:37.400
<v Speaker 4>I mean, Sam's kind of got his mouth open and

0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:40.240
<v Speaker 4>he's like, oh, and then I'm making a weird face.

0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.840
<v Speaker 3>But it just like really, They're like, here's a photo.

0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:45.240
<v Speaker 4>Of you and Sam, and I'm like, uh, okay, can

0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.360
<v Speaker 4>we find a different one? And eventually we did find

0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:49.480
<v Speaker 4>better ones. But I thought, well, I'm going to post

0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:54.480
<v Speaker 4>this because who cares whatever? And someone commented on there,

0:06:54.680 --> 0:07:00.000
<v Speaker 4>literally to me, are you okay? And I thought, huh,

0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.160
<v Speaker 4>I think I did end up replying to that person.

0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:05.000
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes I can't help myself, so I don't like you okay? No,

0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:07.480
<v Speaker 4>I just said I hadn't read that article yet, so

0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:09.760
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know about are you okay?

0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:13.480
<v Speaker 3>But I said, what this is just like a what

0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:14.160
<v Speaker 3>do they call it?

0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:14.840
<v Speaker 2>What is it?

0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:16.600
<v Speaker 3>Photo? When it's not planned?

0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:21.920
<v Speaker 4>Oh, candid cant there's a really bad candid photo. When

0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.520
<v Speaker 4>I was interviewing Sam, and I just thought my face

0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:27.320
<v Speaker 4>looked funny, like, oh, look at me being all professional

0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.840
<v Speaker 4>here doing my job. And someone stood up for me

0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.480
<v Speaker 4>and was like, hey, paraphrasing here. I don't remember the

0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.520
<v Speaker 4>exact comment, but like, why do you have to comment

0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:36.280
<v Speaker 4>on someone's pictures?

0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:37.559
<v Speaker 3>Mind your own business or whatever.

0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:39.559
<v Speaker 4>And she was like, They're like, it's not a funny

0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.080
<v Speaker 4>joke to ask someone if they're okay. And she's like,

0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:42.840
<v Speaker 4>it's not a joke.

0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:47.000
<v Speaker 3>I really want to know if she's okay. Concerned like

0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.000
<v Speaker 3>she thought I was on something, you know, but.

0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:51.600
<v Speaker 2>If she really cared about you, I don't think she

0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:52.440
<v Speaker 2>would say it that way.

0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:52.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.800
<v Speaker 1>Here's a little tip for people, though, and this is

0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.160
<v Speaker 1>like a therapy, one on one tip. In order to

0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.400
<v Speaker 1>stay in that curious versus judgmental realm, if we remove

0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:04.400
<v Speaker 1>the word why, and instead of saying why, we say

0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious about or I wonder we can ask this.

0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:09.600
<v Speaker 1>We can get the same kind of information, but ask

0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.360
<v Speaker 1>it in a caring, more curious way.

0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:17.360
<v Speaker 2>So I'm curious about or I wonder versus why did you? Hear?

0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.040
<v Speaker 4>My cousin Amanda and I on a four Things episode

0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:24.720
<v Speaker 4>recently talk about replacing why with what for a more

0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:25.559
<v Speaker 4>fulfilling life?

0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:30.000
<v Speaker 3>No, so, well you probably didn't. Thanks for the support.

0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.960
<v Speaker 3>Just kidding, I'm joking.

0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.199
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's sort of like, you know how Donald Miller

0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.320
<v Speaker 4>gave us what does this make possible? That has what

0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.760
<v Speaker 4>in it? And that's probably why that sentence is so

0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:43.080
<v Speaker 4>simple and so powerful. It's because of the what.

0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:44.240
<v Speaker 1>So.

0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.040
<v Speaker 4>An example she gave was a woman's diagnosed with cancer,

0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:51.480
<v Speaker 4>and instead of her response being like why me, she

0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.760
<v Speaker 4>said what is important to me in life? And that

0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.400
<v Speaker 4>was what she was going to choose to focus on

0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:58.360
<v Speaker 4>because now she had perspective and she wanted to know

0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:00.480
<v Speaker 4>what is important to me right now? And that's direction

0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.640
<v Speaker 4>she went instead of victim mentality, which is why is

0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:06.280
<v Speaker 4>this happening to me? And really, in lots of different

0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.760
<v Speaker 4>way you just it's the She did a whole study.

0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:12.400
<v Speaker 4>Is a doctor that wanted to figure out self awareness

0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:15.480
<v Speaker 4>and she did all this research and apparently ninety five

0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.880
<v Speaker 4>percent of people think they're self aware, but only ten

0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:22.040
<v Speaker 4>to fifteen percent actually are. And she called them like

0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.880
<v Speaker 4>the unicorns, and she's like, what, why are these unicorns

0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:28.120
<v Speaker 4>more satisfied, more fulfilled with their life? What is the

0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:31.040
<v Speaker 4>main difference from these other people that claim their self aware?

0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:35.080
<v Speaker 4>And it's that they use the word what in different scenarios.

0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.360
<v Speaker 4>There's a cancer one. There was a guy in the

0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.800
<v Speaker 4>study that you know, had conflict with his boss at

0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.000
<v Speaker 4>work and instead of why are we like oil and

0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.400
<v Speaker 4>water and why can't we ever get along. It was

0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.560
<v Speaker 4>what can I do to show her I am valuable

0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:48.040
<v Speaker 4>to the team.

0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.000
<v Speaker 3>Ooh, and so that's another.

0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.280
<v Speaker 2>What I like it?

0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:56.599
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, what what versus why what? And that's kind of

0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:58.160
<v Speaker 4>what you were saying just now a little bit.

0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.880
<v Speaker 2>It's just a different way to ask questions.

0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.160
<v Speaker 4>A different way to I was trying to find the

0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:06.760
<v Speaker 4>comment here too, are you okay? But I can't find

0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.800
<v Speaker 4>it on my Instagram at radio Amy if you want

0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:14.160
<v Speaker 4>to follow, and Kat is at Kat dot Defada. And

0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:18.920
<v Speaker 4>then you have your podcast Therapy or you Need Therapy

0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:20.400
<v Speaker 4>podcast has an Instagram too.

0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:25.319
<v Speaker 2>Right, yes, at you Need Therapy Podcasts. Well, that's exactly simple.

0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:25.640
<v Speaker 3>Exactly it.

0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.800
<v Speaker 4>And Kat has episodes that go up every Monday and Wednesday,

0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.720
<v Speaker 4>and some of them even pertain to recovery from eating disorders.

0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.720
<v Speaker 4>As you are, you are in recovery, and I just

0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:39.559
<v Speaker 4>share quickly something cool that you're doing with a friend

0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.200
<v Speaker 4>to sit down there. You're going to record and hopefully

0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.640
<v Speaker 4>air somewhat soon ish and I can't wait to listen.

0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.080
<v Speaker 1>So I was talking to my best friend from college

0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.360
<v Speaker 1>this week and didn't think she would agree to this,

0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.960
<v Speaker 1>but she did. So she saw me walk through my

0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:57.800
<v Speaker 1>disordered eating journey and then I found recovery, and then

0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.760
<v Speaker 1>she walked through hers and then she found recovery. But

0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:03.360
<v Speaker 1>we both have these perspectives of seeing at different times

0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.920
<v Speaker 1>when we're in a more healthy mindset the person who's

0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.839
<v Speaker 1>not doing so great. So I asked that she'd be

0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:10.960
<v Speaker 1>willing to come talk about that process of what it's

0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:13.200
<v Speaker 1>like to see your friend and then what's it like

0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.640
<v Speaker 1>for your friend to see you, because it is so

0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:20.440
<v Speaker 1>much easier to see the toxicity of things, going back

0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.920
<v Speaker 1>to self awareness when you're looking at somebody else, and

0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:26.760
<v Speaker 1>we're more harsh with that as well. So in the

0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 1>next couple probably next couple of weeks, we're going to

0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:31.640
<v Speaker 1>try to sit down and record that. It's gonna be

0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.160
<v Speaker 1>therapeutic for me because we've never talked about it. It's

0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.040
<v Speaker 1>almost something we kind of like swept under the rug

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.600
<v Speaker 1>and didn't really want to address. And I'm like, we're like,

0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.160
<v Speaker 1>you're one of the closest people to me, why have

0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:43.240
<v Speaker 1>we not talked about this?

0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:45.319
<v Speaker 2>So should be pretty good.

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:50.240
<v Speaker 4>Stay tuned for that Yeah you Need Therapy podcast coming soon. Well,

0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:53.640
<v Speaker 4>the podcasts start out with that episode that's awesome. It

0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:55.640
<v Speaker 4>may even encourage other people to just sit down with

0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:57.360
<v Speaker 4>their friends and have certain conversations.

0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm like a little nervous about it because I

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.079
<v Speaker 1>don't know what she's going to say. And also I'm

0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.040
<v Speaker 1>nervous because I might want to share things with her

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.719
<v Speaker 1>that I've been scared to share with her because I

0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 1>don't want to hurt her feelings or a step on

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.480
<v Speaker 1>her toes or anything like that. So it should be

0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.240
<v Speaker 1>a good way to show healthy conflict.

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and talk to each other, be curious about things

0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:19.240
<v Speaker 4>and not judgmental.

0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:20.679
<v Speaker 2>Boom boom.

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.480
<v Speaker 4>All right, Kat and I do the fifth Thing together,

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.360
<v Speaker 4>the bonus episode for my four Things podcast, and we

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.079
<v Speaker 4>always close it with have the day that you need

0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.000
<v Speaker 4>to have, so it only feels appropriate to say it here,

0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:33.800
<v Speaker 4>So Kat, go ahead, tell everybody have the day you.

0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Need to have. Okay, Bye, Bye,