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Speaker 1: The fifteen minute Morning Show podcast. Here we go. It

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Speaker 1: must be Thursday because tomorrow's Friday. And who's ready for

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Speaker 1: a weekend? Every day? The weekend? I don't know anymore.

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Speaker 1: I saw meme yesterday it said under coronavirus, we now

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Speaker 1: have three days of the week, Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: That's it. Thank I'll we have tomorrow. That's the good news. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you know what I've been talking all morning? You know,

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Speaker 1: we just finished doing our show and it's time for

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Speaker 1: the fifteen minute Morning show podcast. Who's Who's in charge? Here?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit back and just be a participant. Well

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Speaker 1: can I can I talk about something I thought was

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Speaker 1: fantastic yesterday for April Foolsday, So some of my parents friends,

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Speaker 1: they played the best facticle joke on the kids and

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Speaker 1: they kept it going all day. So, because of what's

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Speaker 1: going on with the coronavirus and all the kids doing homeschooling,

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Speaker 1: they were telling the kids that they weren't learning enough.

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Speaker 1: So they were deciding whether or not all the kids

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Speaker 1: would have to repeat this year next year. So if

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Speaker 1: you were in seventh grade, you're gonna have to repeat

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Speaker 1: seventh grade. So some of my friends kids were so

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Speaker 1: upset all day yesterday, and they kept their kids going

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Speaker 1: all day and they thought that they had to repeat

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Speaker 1: the grade. And it was fantastic. That have been the worst.

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Speaker 1: That's not funny at all. I thought I was that hilarious.

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Speaker 1: I didn't do it to my kids because I got it.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately I found out about it too late. But it

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Speaker 1: was great. One of I heard one of the kids

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Speaker 1: telling my son, I cannot believe it. My father had

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Speaker 1: me going all day. I was so upset it was.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was great. That's joke. Ever, I'm glad

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Speaker 1: that we got through April Fool's Day without like some crazy,

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Speaker 1: crazy jokes. There was what was that dumb Alex sent

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Speaker 1: me one of these fake news stories and you hit it.

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Speaker 1: It's like a fool, any of these things with the

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Speaker 1: junk you're hanging out? Yes, yeah, we got those all day.

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Speaker 1: It was like, God, that poor guy. Let him rest

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Speaker 1: in peace. All right, participant, I'm sitting back. Oh he's

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Speaker 1: still participant. I saw because a lot of celebrities were

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Speaker 1: still trying to do the whole like ha ha, I

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Speaker 1: got you thing, But you can only really do it online.

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Speaker 1: So the pranks were a sort of lame g eaz

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Speaker 1: try to trick everybody into thinking, oh my god, he

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Speaker 1: shaved his head, and all of the comments below we're dude,

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Speaker 1: you suck at photoshop. Fix your photoshop skills before you

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Speaker 1: try to prank us. I fell for one. Yesterday. I

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Speaker 1: had a friend of mine who was wondering when his

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Speaker 1: stimulus check was coming. So I'm like, oh, hold on,

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Speaker 1: I saw a phone number online you can call and check.

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Speaker 1: When I called it, it it was a sex line somebody

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Speaker 1: had posted. It was like call and check here. And

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Speaker 1: when you picked up, like, hey, big boy, do you

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Speaker 1: want to looking for your big I'm like, okay, great, thanks.

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Speaker 1: I fell for it. Okay though, and then little no

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Speaker 1: what a little nose say I'm not gay, And then

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Speaker 1: I was like, yes I am. You got me kind

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Speaker 1: of that. I wasn't able to do one thing this year.

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Speaker 1: It's fun to mess with people. Well, I know, it's

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Speaker 1: just it's kind of a weird time. I was waiting

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Speaker 1: for the COVID nineteen tacky ones to come through, and

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Speaker 1: thank god none of my friends. The grocery store was

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Speaker 1: playing a joke on me because I went there and

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Speaker 1: then I looked down that there was no there was

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Speaker 1: no toilet paper in the toilet paper aisle. I'm like

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Speaker 1: a full joke. Yeah, not pretty bad. Actually that's not

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Speaker 1: a joke exactly. There was still the toilet papers when

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Speaker 1: I was trying to, yeah, explain the joke. Yeahs roll,

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Speaker 1: but thank god him one person in my house, and

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Speaker 1: I don't eat a whole lot. You don't use that much. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so wait, hold on, hold on, are you equating the

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Speaker 1: amount of toilet paper you use the amount of food

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Speaker 1: you eat? That makes sense, It does make sense, food in,

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Speaker 1: food out. Yeah, but it's still just one poop. It's

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Speaker 1: not like you're taking yeah something no, no, no no, no,

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Speaker 1: not gandhi. Some poops require more clean up than others.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes there's a bigger mess on asle one than there

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Speaker 1: is another time. Oh my gosh, really I should let

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Speaker 1: you guys host this every day. This is hilarious. Could

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Speaker 1: you could you sit there and just listen to scary

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Speaker 1: go on and on for hours because he's so entertaining,

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Speaker 1: trying to make him like dr Oz poops. You know

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Speaker 1: that the s shaped puffy ones because you try, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I mean, how do you try to draw? What do

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Speaker 1: you move your ass around like a skywriter. While you're pooping,

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Speaker 1: you making an sing. No, you have to you have

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Speaker 1: to make you eat better food, better quality food, and

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Speaker 1: the right stuff. This is true. I'm not making beans

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Speaker 1: and chili during this time. It's really good. What are

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Speaker 1: you talking about that way? I'm trying, but chilly are

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Speaker 1: good for you, though. I don't give those up so fast.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I can't. I can't. Scary scary. You got

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Speaker 1: kicked off of Zoom. You're out of the zoo, you know.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of toilet paper, I still don't understand why there's

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Speaker 1: such a run on toilet paper. Like at this point

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Speaker 1: we should all hell enough. People still think that there

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Speaker 1: is going to be a run on it, and it

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Speaker 1: is an inexpensive way to control your life. If you

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Speaker 1: see it, people are like, oh my god, there's toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: I better get it when it's fair, and they get it,

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Speaker 1: and so there he goes. Yeah, it's crazy. If I go, Um,

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Speaker 1: because we've been talking about how I'm probably going to

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Speaker 1: leave and be with my loved ones while we're all

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Speaker 1: still quarantining. Um, if I go and I stay with

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend after he's clear of the quarantine time, I

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Speaker 1: am a hundred percent bringing toilet paper because last time

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Speaker 1: I was at his apartment, he had like two roles

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Speaker 1: and he's like, that don't last for like a month.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you fool, I'm a girl. I need more

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Speaker 1: toilet paper than that. So I'm totally bringing it with me.

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Speaker 1: If I go there playing ahead, Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what he goes over there? Yeah, he's not eating. He

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Speaker 1: does he listen to the podcast? Yeah? Sometimes? Okay, Hi Brandon,

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Speaker 1: I mean you you guys have been having this long

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Speaker 1: distance relationship and it seems to be working out really well.

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Speaker 1: Uh but I mean if you like move in, I

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Speaker 1: mean that's like a drastic step. Oh yeah, So we've

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Speaker 1: been talking about he he really wants me to stay

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Speaker 1: with him for the whole time that this is going on.

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Speaker 1: And it does sound fun, like I love him and

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Speaker 1: I want to be around him, But going from a

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Speaker 1: long distance relationship to oh my god, now we are

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Speaker 1: living together seven for months, I feel like that could

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Speaker 1: introduce some drama that we didn't see. He's super excited

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Speaker 1: about it, and he's like, we'll get to cook dinners together,

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Speaker 1: we get to play house. This will be so fun,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like it could be, but what if we

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Speaker 1: want to kill each other, maybe it just needs to happen.

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Speaker 1: You're never gonna know till you try it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you vacation with him, right, I mean, what's this You've

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Speaker 1: ever been with him? Um? Probably two weeks, two and

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Speaker 1: a half weeks around the holidays, and then we took Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we took a long trip to the Mediterranean and that

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Speaker 1: was awesome. We can do it. I think you do it.

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Speaker 1: You can do it. Yeah, we'll see, We'll see guys. Okay, so,

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Speaker 1: who's gonna invite me to Zoom today for a cocktail

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Speaker 1: Are we gonna do a Zoom cocktail hour? Yeah? When

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Speaker 1: I'm in It's not like we're going anywhere. I know.

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Speaker 1: Darry and I were talking about that. This is the

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Speaker 1: worst because during quarantine time, you know, and everybody knows

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Speaker 1: that you're stuck at home. So we all used to

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Speaker 1: up excuses to get out of stuff, like oh, sorry

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Speaker 1: I have an appearance, or sorry I have to do this.

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Speaker 1: You can't anymore. You just have to do all the

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Speaker 1: things people know you can still do. You can say, hey,

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Speaker 1: the Walgreens right down the street from my house, that's

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Speaker 1: about the time they restock their shelves. I'll have to

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Speaker 1: be there that one. Yesterday he wrote, he wrote, Hey,

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Speaker 1: if someone owes you money, now's the time to collect.

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Speaker 1: Just go buy their house because they are home on Twitter?

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Speaker 1: Who's doing you know? I have no problem, you know me.

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Speaker 1: I have no problem saying no to anyone. Hey, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm taking I'm gonna take a nap. What's your home reading?

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Speaker 1: Are you? Are you guys taking naps every day? Like

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Speaker 1: I'm finding myself sometimes taking a four hour nap. I'm

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Speaker 1: like this is I take like ten minute naps and

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Speaker 1: then someone bothers me or whatever. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: wait up. I woke up this morning at one. I

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Speaker 1: was up until two with my mind racing. And then

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Speaker 1: this friend of mine who's lost his mind is texting

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Speaker 1: me at one thirty in the morning, knowing that I

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Speaker 1: keep my thing on that because in case there's an emergency.

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Speaker 1: So if you text me, is gonna wake me up?

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Speaker 1: Stop it? Asshole? Okay? Oh well yeah. People definitely have

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Speaker 1: lost all sense of time. Yea, Well, that's the problem

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Speaker 1: with us because we still have to be here at

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Speaker 1: a certain time, so I cannot lose sense of time.

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Speaker 1: I know I am going to bed later. Though, because

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Speaker 1: I'm getting up a little bit later and just kind

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Speaker 1: of rolling down the staircase a cup of C I shut,

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Speaker 1: shut the funk up. I guess you know, I go, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's good, and I know I do try to do

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Speaker 1: my hair a little bit. I feel like it gives

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Speaker 1: me a sense of feeling a little bit better about

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Speaker 1: myself if you know, a couple of days a week

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Speaker 1: through my hair. But you know, today I didn't. My

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Speaker 1: favorite from alex is like whoa you should? You should

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Speaker 1: invest in a mirror. I really really want you guys

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Speaker 1: to take a look at this Patrick Melrose show on

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Speaker 1: Amazon Prime. It really is. It's either you're gonna love

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Speaker 1: it or hate it. Gandhi, I think you would love it.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna check it out today. He is living this strong, out,

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Speaker 1: fucked up life where he is like shooting up Heroin

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Speaker 1: and passing out then waking up and drinking Martinis between

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Speaker 1: Heroin between Heroin. I mean, I'm not I'm not. I'm

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Speaker 1: not making it to seem glamorous or at all. It's

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Speaker 1: an awful problem. I know that I must say that.

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Speaker 1: But this Cumberbatch guy, what a great actor. I never

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Speaker 1: noticed he was so great. I'm excited to check it

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Speaker 1: out because, as we discussed, I have not ship else

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Speaker 1: to do today, so that'll be my thing. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: watch a show about a guy that took on heroin

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Speaker 1: and then let's have a cocktail. It'll be whole party together.

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Speaker 1: It'll be great. Is this is sort of what we

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Speaker 1: want a retirement to look like? One day? Well, you

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Speaker 1: just get together with your friends and then you just drink.

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Speaker 1: But I want to travel too. I would like to traveling. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well we're not getting that in So do you know

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Speaker 1: my mom's doing. She is traveling via YouTube and she

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Speaker 1: said it is awesome. She will call me. So guess

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Speaker 1: where I went today? I went to Italy And like,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean you went to Italy? She goes

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Speaker 1: on YouTube they have a tour of Italy and I

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Speaker 1: took it and it was fabulous. I felt like I

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Speaker 1: was in in Italy. Tomorrow, I'm going to Hawaii, like

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Speaker 1: she if you want to, if you want a real

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Speaker 1: tour of Italy, you gotta go to Olive Garden. I

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Speaker 1: mean they have I don't think it's open right now.

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Speaker 1: Let's they open again. That's where I'm going. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: whip up my passport and go to the Olive Garden.

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Speaker 1: Travel do you have a meal? They're called the Tour

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Speaker 1: of Italy. Not that I've been to all of our

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Speaker 1: in a thousand times and know that, but it has

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Speaker 1: a little bit of everything. You said something once that

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Speaker 1: totally threw me off, and I need to know if

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Speaker 1: it's true or if I made this up in my

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Speaker 1: head that I heard it. Did you say chicken parmesan

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Speaker 1: is not actually an Italian dish like from an American dish?

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Speaker 1: It was? It was truly, truly, Uh, well it was.

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Speaker 1: It was perfected here in the in the United States. Yeah. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: Oh my good. That blows my mind. How is this possible?

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Speaker 1: I always thought it was straight Italian Italian, But I

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Speaker 1: will say, when I was there, I didn't see any Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, you're not gonna find a lot of chicken

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Speaker 1: parm over there. That's why. You know. There's this big

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Speaker 1: company here in New York called phil Risutto. Is it

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Speaker 1: phil Risutto Tours or something like that. Yeah, he had

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Speaker 1: this great company that he put together. He would take

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Speaker 1: all the Italians from Brooklyn and he'd shipped them over

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Speaker 1: to Italy for two weeks and they'd have tour buses

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Speaker 1: and he owned Italy and his son still runs the company.

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Speaker 1: They do tours in other countries to uh So. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: he he would put these, you know, these bus loads

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Speaker 1: of like blue haired Italian women from from benson Hurst,

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Speaker 1: Brooklyn on plane, send them to Italy on Alatalia. They

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Speaker 1: would give them these busses and travelers and a lot

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Speaker 1: of them would like run back to the airport because

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Speaker 1: they couldn't find chicken farm anywhere. They're like, they thought

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Speaker 1: Italy was like Brooklyn, and it really isn't. Italy is Italy.

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Speaker 1: Italy is its own beautiful, beautiful spot. Nancy and my

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Speaker 1: Ami Millie, the two sisters, they went in the eighties

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Speaker 1: on a on a parolo tour of Italy. That's how

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Speaker 1: they want and they loved it. But they loved They

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Speaker 1: were like, where's the chicken palm? And you know the

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Speaker 1: pizza exactly? Where's my meat balls? We called it pett No,

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Speaker 1: I don't want pulled patty. I want meatballs, Spaghetti and meatballs.

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Speaker 1: They happened in a there. You know that if you

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Speaker 1: go to Italy and I can't wait till Italy is

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Speaker 1: open again and we can go to this most beautiful place.

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Speaker 1: If you got to Italy and go to a restaurant

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Speaker 1: that has spaghetti and meatballs together, leave that restaurant because

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Speaker 1: they probably have they probably have pictures of the food

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Speaker 1: on the wall, and you don't want to it's a

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Speaker 1: tourist trap. They're gonna take a kidney. Speaking of Italians

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Speaker 1: from bencent Hurst. My father called me yesterday. My mother

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Speaker 1: called me and she was in the car waiting with

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Speaker 1: my father to come out from from the bakery. My

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Speaker 1: father gets into the car, didn't even know I was

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Speaker 1: on the phone, and starts yelling. He's like, just freaking

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Speaker 1: woman in front of me. He had his mask on.

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Speaker 1: She starts close talking to me, and a place as

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Speaker 1: crowded as it is to get in this place, and

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Speaker 1: she's standing on top of me. And I said, you

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Speaker 1: gotta keep your distance, and she says to me, well,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you or work in a hospital emergency room.

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Speaker 1: Nothing scares me about just stand and she could be

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Speaker 1: carrying the disease for all I know. I wish I

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Speaker 1: had recorded my father. I didn't, and I was listening

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Speaker 1: in I was eavesdropping on this conversation. But he was

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Speaker 1: fit to be tied. By the way, another conversation you're

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Speaker 1: not going to hear when you travel to Italy. Alright,

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Speaker 1: someone to wrap it up. We're done. That's our fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute morning show. Love you, thank you. I re