WEBVTT - BONUS: Ask Abuelita!

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, It's Liliana from Date My Abuelita First. Now

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<v Speaker 1>with all my new NATO's, Natas and nitas on the show,

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<v Speaker 1>I am really touched at how they all put their

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<v Speaker 1>trust in me. Thank you for doing so. Awelita is

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<v Speaker 1>here to help you find love. Now. I may have

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of experience, but let's see how my experience

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<v Speaker 1>holds up when listeners right in with their dating questions.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, and I have to give advice on

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<v Speaker 1>the spot. I can do that to our listeners. If

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<v Speaker 1>you've ever wanted advice directly from an abuelita like me,

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<v Speaker 1>well now it's your chance. Dm us with your dating

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<v Speaker 1>questions at Date my Abuelita First on Instagram and I

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<v Speaker 1>will select a few questions to answer. Now let's get

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<v Speaker 1>the advice trained Roland. Here we go again. The question

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<v Speaker 1>comes from Matthias. My girlfriend of six months is throwing

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<v Speaker 1>hints that she wants to move in together. It's more

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<v Speaker 1>than hints now because in the last couple of weeks

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<v Speaker 1>she started sending me listings on Zillow and Craigslist that

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<v Speaker 1>she likes. And while she has an outright said she

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<v Speaker 1>wants to move in, the writing is on the wall

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<v Speaker 1>for sure, and we've definitely talked about it casually before.

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<v Speaker 1>While I'm a little apprehensive to move in together, I

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<v Speaker 1>gotta say it would be nice that she lives a

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<v Speaker 1>bit far from me and we only get to really

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<v Speaker 1>see one another once a week, which doesn't feel like enough.

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<v Speaker 1>Despite wanting to see her more and see what it's

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<v Speaker 1>like to have that kind of intimacy, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm ready to move in. I'm thirty seven and

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<v Speaker 1>I've never lived with a partner before. There's a lot

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<v Speaker 1>about the possibility that excites me and a lot that

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<v Speaker 1>makes me hesitant. I'm a little scared of losing my

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<v Speaker 1>autonomy and my alone time. I'm unsure when I'll know

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<v Speaker 1>if it's the right time or if I should just

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<v Speaker 1>go for it and see what happens. Another big factor

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<v Speaker 1>is I've lived in my current place for over ten

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<v Speaker 1>years and it's rent controlled. I live in a city

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<v Speaker 1>we're finding a good place to live at an affordable

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<v Speaker 1>price is really uncommon, But I know my girlfriend would

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<v Speaker 1>prefer to live in a different part of town. I

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<v Speaker 1>want us both to be happy. What should I factor

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<v Speaker 1>in and making such a big decision, and is it

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<v Speaker 1>too early. What do you mean too early? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>looking at the clock? If there's any clock that you

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<v Speaker 1>should be looking at right now, it's the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>you are thirty seven years old and there is no

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<v Speaker 1>more time to waste. You have heard those simple words

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<v Speaker 1>that everybody mentions, life is so short. In regards to

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<v Speaker 1>her looking for places on Zillow and Craigslist, I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's pretty cute. I think that shows her enthusiasm for

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<v Speaker 1>this relationship though it is six months old. Sometimes it

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<v Speaker 1>takes six years, sometimes it's never. But you have the

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<v Speaker 1>opportunity to do it now. Now you're apprehensive about a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of things, rent control, really, really, we're talking money already. No,

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<v Speaker 1>how about we just get it done now. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>have that kind of intimacy in order to fulfill this dream? Well?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you? You will not be questioning unless it was there.

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<v Speaker 1>You are excited about the possibility, But at the same time,

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<v Speaker 1>you're on that sense, a bit hesitant and a bit

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<v Speaker 1>scared you're going to lose your autonomy. You're alone time.

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<v Speaker 1>How about your togetherness? How about enjoying all that beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>life that you have with someone that you can truly

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<v Speaker 1>truly enjoy your life? With don't be so hesitant. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're asking questions is because you are ready for the answer.

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<v Speaker 1>You want someone to tell you what is right, and

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<v Speaker 1>Awilita is right. Here, make a chance, leap with great faith,

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<v Speaker 1>follow your heart. What can happen? It doesn't work, at

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<v Speaker 1>least you gave it your best shot. Are you ready

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<v Speaker 1>for another question? This one is from Rex. I was

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<v Speaker 1>talking to a super hot person on a dating apple.

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<v Speaker 1>Here we start with the hot one TVH. I was

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<v Speaker 1>looking for a fun, spicy encounter. They told me they

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<v Speaker 1>were going out of town, but with text. When they

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<v Speaker 1>got back, I thought, oh, yeah, right, no one ever

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<v Speaker 1>follows up. Well, to my surprise, when they got back,

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<v Speaker 1>they texted asking what I was up to over that weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>I invited them to hang out the next day, but

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<v Speaker 1>didn't hear back. The next day they texted saying they'd

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<v Speaker 1>been sick. Yeah, possible, but a bit sketchy. We made

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<v Speaker 1>plans to hang out the following weekend. Hang out arrived,

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't heard from them and sent a text no answer.

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<v Speaker 1>The next day I received texts from them, but from

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<v Speaker 1>a new different number. Oh my goodness. They had gotten

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<v Speaker 1>a new phone and yeah, lost their contexts. Sure, they

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<v Speaker 1>were so sorry for ghosting, and that that hadn't been

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<v Speaker 1>their intention. I don't believe them throughout all of this.

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<v Speaker 1>My friends said, it seemed sus slash red flaggy, but

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<v Speaker 1>not totally out of the realm of possibilities, and I

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<v Speaker 1>could try one more time. I replied, nicely but succinctly.

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<v Speaker 1>I asked if they wanted to hang that week. They

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<v Speaker 1>said yes, excitedly, and we decided on a day. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>two hours later they texted again and said that they

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<v Speaker 1>actually weren't very available with the lame excuse, they had

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<v Speaker 1>so many opportunities to ghost. Why follow up after their

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<v Speaker 1>trip out of town? Why tell us they got a

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<v Speaker 1>new number? Why tell me they got a new phone.

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<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to f a blank si kay explanation,

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<v Speaker 1>exclamation exclamation, Well is their loss? Now? Tell me I

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<v Speaker 1>will need that. What was up with this person? And

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<v Speaker 1>how do I avoid situations like this moving forward? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>if you put yourself on the spot, take what comes

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<v Speaker 1>with it. Your first sentence to me said, you're looking

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<v Speaker 1>for a hot person to have a spicy encounter. Well

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<v Speaker 1>there was nothing serious there. You were not looking for

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<v Speaker 1>someone who was real and honest. No, and this person

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<v Speaker 1>they got the drift. They knew they could do whatever

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<v Speaker 1>they wanted, especially since you kept texting them. Once a

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<v Speaker 1>person ignores you the first time, do you really need

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<v Speaker 1>a second opportunity to be put down or abused or ignored?

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<v Speaker 1>This is how the relationship will continue. Your intentions are good,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe your thoughts should be a bit more condensed

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<v Speaker 1>than saying, maybe I'm looking for something else. This person

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<v Speaker 1>did not want to connect with you. This person did

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<v Speaker 1>not have the time for you. This person did not

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<v Speaker 1>have the respect enough to tell you anything that was real.

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<v Speaker 1>There was no honesty, no truth, and you accepted it.

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<v Speaker 1>And remember that in the process of it all. You

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<v Speaker 1>can ask a million friends how they feel about the

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<v Speaker 1>situation that you are going through, but they are all

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<v Speaker 1>talking about their own life experiences. Now Awilita is telling

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<v Speaker 1>you about a whole world of experiences and giving you

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<v Speaker 1>the best advice I can so that you can find

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<v Speaker 1>that goodness, that humbleness, that kindness, that light that will

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<v Speaker 1>shine in your life. So move on, find reality and

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<v Speaker 1>stick with it. When MISA artists don't forget to listen

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<v Speaker 1>to date my Awilita first on Thursdays and while you're listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't forget to click that subscribe button. Come on, do

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<v Speaker 1>it now. Find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever it is that you listen to your favorite

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<v Speaker 1>shows like Date My Awilita, First Love You Miss Mitos

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<v Speaker 1>Mitas mtis And if you have a burning question that

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<v Speaker 1>is keeping you guessing, well don't guess anymore. You know

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<v Speaker 1>that Awealita has your back all the way dm us

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<v Speaker 1>at Date My a Wilita first on Instagram and we'll

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<v Speaker 1>work on getting this answered for you. I'm a real,

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<v Speaker 1>real Awilita and I've got all the advice in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>You all