Speaker 1: And I think Columbia might be named after him. If
Speaker 1: I remember correct that that would make sense there. I
Speaker 1: think Columbia College is older than the country. I think, Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought you were talking about the country of Columbia.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, the country of Columbia. I think
Speaker 1: it's named after him. You thing the sounds in my booty,
Speaker 1: I'll take it. I thought that was pretty good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. Ships being racist money stuff, I can't
Speaker 1: tell me tweet a little deed deedy. There it is,
Speaker 1: there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal
Speaker 1: episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast. If it
Speaker 1: was not already for lights to change the opening sounds. Also,
Speaker 1: the tags deep into the buckets of black conspiracy, and
Speaker 1: we finally worked or proved that Kendrick Perkins is what
Speaker 1: happens when a man gets bitten by a radioactive pan
Speaker 1: of biscuits. That motherfucker feels like just country personified. Every
Speaker 1: time he talks, he moves, he thinks, and and boy,
Speaker 1: oh boys, is it hard to watch. I like you,
Speaker 1: I like I like a big blockheaded basketball. It really
Speaker 1: feels like they paid one of the monstars put a
Speaker 1: suit off like read prompter. It's I like, I like
Speaker 1: when your hairline matches your jaw line. That's what I
Speaker 1: pictures a good fist. That man is a lego of
Speaker 1: a human Dan. Yeah, he looks like an e sports
Speaker 1: green a player. But it got out of control. You're like,
Speaker 1: how big can I make a play? Yeah? You said
Speaker 1: on the control It was like those like you can
Speaker 1: jump in. We have we usually introduced people, but you're
Speaker 1: you're fine to jump in whenever you want. Have you
Speaker 1: seen the name of his wife? No? No, but I'm
Speaker 1: excited for you to try to explain it to us. Uh.
Speaker 1: His wife is named Vanity Alpo after her mother who's
Speaker 1: sang in Vanity six and her father Alpo Martinez rest
Speaker 1: in peace. I thought you were gonna say the uh,
Speaker 1: the pioneer of Altpo foods, not l P O U
Speaker 1: g H. Don't get into the European Alpo. Yes? Oh
Speaker 1: is she bad? Is she like a cutie PATUITI she
Speaker 1: she's very pretty. But she looked like you fight. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's right, that's right for Kendrick Parkins. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think thats good. Yeah, look like you fight no
Speaker 1: matter what hair she got on here gonna come through
Speaker 1: the house swinging them big old arms, and she gotta
Speaker 1: she gotta know how to block. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I would love to just get me just a big
Speaker 1: old countryman, all right, I think, girl, where I have
Speaker 1: to go back to Georgia. Yeah, I think you got it.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're I don't think it on New York,
Speaker 1: not on the subway's I put on the subways twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: So talk Tom. I'll tell you I was on it
Speaker 1: pretty recently. And it's it's dark down there. You get
Speaker 1: to do that. You that way, agree to disagree. I
Speaker 1: think surprised how I have to leave and the words
Speaker 1: listen you you got it? Okay? Because Ricky Valez just
Speaker 1: really motivated me. A couple of months back, we were Madison, Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: and I was working at one club. He was working
Speaker 1: another club, and I came just to say what's up
Speaker 1: to him? And so I had flown into like an
Speaker 1: airport that was further away and I needed to change
Speaker 1: my ticket to fly out of Madison. He said, the dolls, dolls,
Speaker 1: I think, I think because I wanted to go pick
Speaker 1: up my homeboy. But then he was at a different airport.
Speaker 1: It was all fucked up, how to get a run
Speaker 1: a car whatever, and so I was like, damn, it's
Speaker 1: gonna charge me. Said, they're gonna charge like three hundred
Speaker 1: dollars or change his ticket, but dada da, And I
Speaker 1: was trying to go back and I was like trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how to do it. I'm talking to
Speaker 1: my homeboy, and Ricky rolled up and was like, you're
Speaker 1: not gonna make another three hundred dollars boom. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: how I feel about it. So I was like, let
Speaker 1: me go ahead and buy this place. Second, even how
Speaker 1: much did you get paid for the college you did?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I got it. Let me
Speaker 1: come on, man, rich. People really find a way to
Speaker 1: corner you into into making some odd choices. No, that's
Speaker 1: three hundred dollars for sure. No, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: This is the thing. If I didn't spend the money,
Speaker 1: then it was like already like eleven ten, eleven o'clock.
Speaker 1: I would had to get up at like four thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning, drive across the fucking state and try
Speaker 1: to try to return a rental card as other shit.
Speaker 1: And Ricky's like, you got it. Stot last my argument.
Speaker 1: Let me be clear. My my argument is not that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have spent the three hundred dollars. My argument
Speaker 1: is I don't like a gray poupon eating motherfucker to
Speaker 1: roll down their limousine window and give me advice as
Speaker 1: if we're playing the same game. We ain't, motherfucker, so
Speaker 1: don't count my three hundred dollars. I might need that
Speaker 1: three hundred dollars, and I might need to wake up
Speaker 1: at four thirty for that shit. I hear you, but fuck,
Speaker 1: we forgot to warn you that boy be pressing buttons.
Speaker 1: But but he got a soundboard. But if Ricky Valez's defense,
Speaker 1: the time that I would have taken was worth three,
Speaker 1: that's what your billable hours about. How that's how you
Speaker 1: that's how you get your worth. What are your billable hours?
Speaker 1: I fuck off all the time, I watched too much YouTube,
Speaker 1: I stayed too long in the park. But the amount
Speaker 1: of time I work versus what I get paid, I'm
Speaker 1: a wealthy man, That's all that matters. There are times
Speaker 1: I've been on a job and been like, did these
Speaker 1: white people know I'm not doing shit? Hoof yeah? Job?
Speaker 1: But didn't feel that way. Listen, I can tell you
Speaker 1: when I was making ten dollars an hour, I had
Speaker 1: so many people worrying about where the funk I was
Speaker 1: and what time I got in the office and all
Speaker 1: his other dumb shit. Now, ain't nobody checking on me? Like,
Speaker 1: butfucker's just a check on me? And I'm like, for
Speaker 1: the amount of money you're paying me, I'd be surprised
Speaker 1: if you weren't texting me every fifteen minutes for those
Speaker 1: for those that are unaware, a writer's room is a
Speaker 1: glorious place to fuck off. It really is like magical.
Speaker 1: You get an hour, lunch and a whole lot of
Speaker 1: time to look at your computer while another man is talking.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's me tell you that
Speaker 1: two hours a day of work. Bro, I've never been.
Speaker 1: I've never been. I'm not a writer. I've never been.
Speaker 1: I don't talk to the writers. I'm not a writer.
Speaker 1: So people about asking, like, well, what's it like being
Speaker 1: a writer on the Daily Show? I was like, I
Speaker 1: have no fucking clue. But you see, they be doing shit.
Speaker 1: I'm in my office doing various so many jobs. I'm
Speaker 1: doing this job, I'm doing a next job. You know me.
Speaker 1: Another comic starting to lift Lost line. There's that ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm executive producing laid With show, So there's that ship.
Speaker 1: Then I got auditions and stuff to get ready for.
Speaker 1: Yeah me, Las Larabie are starting the lip bloss line
Speaker 1: for comics. Well, this is what's so crazy, men and women.
Speaker 1: If you want to borry, if you want to sell
Speaker 1: lip bloss, you can go right ahead. Don't have me
Speaker 1: out here and some kind of juicy beach glitter pretending
Speaker 1: you know, you know what I mean? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? No, you know for a clear plane. You
Speaker 1: didn't make clear plane. Are you making this for men?
Speaker 1: You know? You want to lip bomb? No, that's like
Speaker 1: gloss that. This is a bomb. This is I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the jelly kinds. Yeah, it's the it's the glossy
Speaker 1: kind I'm being out of here with dry lips a
Speaker 1: few times. It's very embarrassing. Oh no, I can tell you.
Speaker 1: I was getting off the plane in Atlanta. Come, I
Speaker 1: was going home and see my mom when I live
Speaker 1: in LA and you know, I need to see a
Speaker 1: lot of black people unless I saw y'all. So sometimes
Speaker 1: you girl would be ashy, right, And I'm getting off
Speaker 1: the plane and one of the girls is cleaning the plane,
Speaker 1: and she looks at him, goes them elbows, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just got here. Give me two seconds. Come on,
Speaker 1: let me process. Though I might look down and catch
Speaker 1: that too and and do something about it, but you
Speaker 1: gotta give me a second. I just got back and
Speaker 1: my mother's calling me. She's like, where are you at?
Speaker 1: I said, I'm in the bathroom putting on lotion because
Speaker 1: I don't want to sack me with some bath the
Speaker 1: body works or some fucking love spell. I got to
Speaker 1: take care of this before I get assaulted in this
Speaker 1: air pipe by black people. Well, I think what we
Speaker 1: failed to do is introduce the ash nigger we've been
Speaker 1: talking to this entire time. We this whole time. We
Speaker 1: just jumped into too riffing and talking shit. But we
Speaker 1: have a wonderful guest today. Our guests. She's on the
Speaker 1: Great North on Fox. She's a correspondent on the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: Not to write you pieces of shit. She don't write
Speaker 1: that thing. Mineapolis Champion there apparently is an expert at
Speaker 1: you know, in the cold. She can do it all
Speaker 1: and she's been in Essence magazine. You host is what
Speaker 1: she demanded, I tell you, Uh, She's wonderful. Give it
Speaker 1: up for Dulce sloan. Oh he gros, Come on, I
Speaker 1: need some music. I don't have any music drops. They're
Speaker 1: all kind of like witty saying, Yeah. I used to
Speaker 1: do claps and and uh for the intros, but then
Speaker 1: I gave up because because you took over. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: my boy got his own style. I'm gonna let him
Speaker 1: do that. Whom I think I'm looking forward to cracking up?
Speaker 1: I hope I can, like you totally crack up. So
Speaker 1: I haven't like totally cracked up in a long time.
Speaker 1: I ain't that better than clapping? Yes? That was? Where's
Speaker 1: where's he at now? He's got to be like what
Speaker 1: thirty five? I don't know, man, I think he's off
Speaker 1: with the Corn Kid? Yeah, those kids. He just disappeared. Though,
Speaker 1: where's the Corn Kid? He just disappear the media? No,
Speaker 1: he is out here. He was. They literally had like
Speaker 1: the University of Nebraska had him out. He be giving
Speaker 1: an ambassador for like corn for Nebraska. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: we're aware of like that six months where they were
Speaker 1: like really hyping him up. Right. Yeah, I think what
Speaker 1: Bori's saying is, where is he now? It's like day.
Speaker 1: It's like Haley Joe Osmond after the sixth Cents. Yeah, yo,
Speaker 1: I saw Haley Joe Osmond a couple of weeks ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I saw him in an an audition once. He still
Speaker 1: looks like Haley Joe Osmond. I saw him. I saw
Speaker 1: him at Um I went to go see Roryville's show
Speaker 1: at the Alasiani. Yeah, thank you? What word? I didn't
Speaker 1: want you to keep trying. It was gonna get worried
Speaker 1: you at the Alien at the Alien. Yeah, yeah, your
Speaker 1: girl was having the issue. But I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1: Lansa is always humorous to see you, Bori. You're still
Speaker 1: my favorite human of all time. Bory still has one
Speaker 1: of my favorite jokes from all my life, of all
Speaker 1: of my life is the man who didn't know that
Speaker 1: gay wasn't short for alligator. Oh yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: i've heard that bit. I laugh in an entire show
Speaker 1: what I meant with fucking high planes, because like Troy
Speaker 1: Walker was like, are you loud enough? I was like, nigga, no,
Speaker 1: I don't have enough laugh in me to give it.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite bit too. It's hardly been downhill, no lies, No,
Speaker 1: this is this is uh, maybe a little off topic,
Speaker 1: but do we all have that that bit that exists
Speaker 1: for us where you're like, well, that's my masterpiece, and
Speaker 1: then the rest of these are I'm just checking first
Speaker 1: of all, Boris Lyne because it is amazing. I have
Speaker 1: this bit where I've only said it on stage a
Speaker 1: couple of times and I don't can't do it in
Speaker 1: front of everybody. But basically, it's like, I think about
Speaker 1: this white girl who's dating this black dude and like
Speaker 1: and they wait until, like they're married to have sex,
Speaker 1: and her parents disowned her because they didn't want her
Speaker 1: to marry a black man, you know, and her friends
Speaker 1: don't talk to her anymore because she married this black man.
Speaker 1: And then they go to have sex for the first
Speaker 1: time and his dick is small. It makes me laugh
Speaker 1: so much. It's really funny. Only comics like it, but
Speaker 1: just the idea makes me laugh because she was gonna
Speaker 1: be worth it. She thought that she was about to
Speaker 1: be dicked down. I'm talking about plumbed started dealing with
Speaker 1: a Mario Brothers, which was about the fuck out, bro,
Speaker 1: She's about to what Miss Kelly say, she can't move
Speaker 1: her legs. I'm talking my baby deer on ice like
Speaker 1: she really thought that she was maybe it like knocks
Speaker 1: your vision out of alignment. For listen, she was trying
Speaker 1: to get knocked cross eyed. She wanted her kids born dizzey.
Speaker 1: What is that a say that's not that's your best bit,
Speaker 1: that's the one if not a saying, there you go.
Speaker 1: Now we know what joke is yours. You said that
Speaker 1: way cuts the thing everybody says all the time. I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like the kids born dizzy theistic.
Speaker 1: My child came out discobobulate. Listen, this kid's gonna have
Speaker 1: to shake it off like a wet puppy kids. Fuck
Speaker 1: up girl. Yes, I said something like something's some girl.
Speaker 1: I saw some bitch jogging one day pregnant. I said
Speaker 1: that whole kid's gonna be born. Disney, you need to
Speaker 1: sit the fun down on her. Wait. I know, you
Speaker 1: can't jump on a trampoline. You can't ride a horse either.
Speaker 1: You can job job and how far along you are, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not like supposed to like go hard and far,
Speaker 1: but people do a lot of things. That depends on
Speaker 1: how old you are, because like if you're in your
Speaker 1: like your twenties, because bits could go to war. Pregnant,
Speaker 1: right You're like it's coming out. It's coming out forty
Speaker 1: one bitch. B still see can make you loses baby rightful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's some nonsense and the fact that even invented their
Speaker 1: terms because it's like anyone over thirty five. But it's
Speaker 1: like nigga, I still leak monthly? Why am I? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is one way to call it. I think still
Speaker 1: I'm still leaking. Still here, Still here, man, pussy still running? Okay,
Speaker 1: the lights are on, I'm home. I'm about six. Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm speaking out of term when I
Speaker 1: say that's where we're gonna name this episode. Is us
Speaker 1: still still running? Pussy Still Running feels like the correct
Speaker 1: title for the running me. We can't keep talking about
Speaker 1: these running puss these weeds. You came to us with
Speaker 1: a conspiracy theory, uh that that I'm very excited for
Speaker 1: us to dig into. And I know you are too,
Speaker 1: dultly because you remembered it. It was deep in your
Speaker 1: in your in your soul. This this conspiracy theory. You said,
Speaker 1: my mama told me, if your ears are ranking, someone
Speaker 1: is talking about you. Yes, because like my mother grew
Speaker 1: up in Miami. But my grandmother was from like Middle
Speaker 1: Georgia and then like my grandma and all of her
Speaker 1: siblings moved to Miami and like I guess the fifties,
Speaker 1: so they all left a farm, and my grandma was
Speaker 1: really up and coming right right, And so they live
Speaker 1: in a black suburb. So when I say I'm second
Speaker 1: end of generation suburbs, for fucking minute, because my mama
Speaker 1: grew up in a black suburb in Miami. And so
Speaker 1: like my grandpa owned, like her father owned a dry
Speaker 1: cleaning business in Carol City. And if you look up Carols,
Speaker 1: Carol City is black and ship to the point that
Speaker 1: they gentrified it so much they renamed it Miami Gardens.
Speaker 1: Just had to rebrand it because you know, you throw
Speaker 1: that garden on there, people will move there. Yeah, Margaret
Speaker 1: Gardeners seems like good property and it's exceptional. It's like
Speaker 1: Carol City could be anything, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: over town all kind of names. Carol City could be
Speaker 1: tanned on the stomach, Carol City could be tanned on
Speaker 1: the city like uh, you know, goals, like Liberty City
Speaker 1: is where all the football players come from. That for
Speaker 1: some reason too, So they apparently there's it's wild. There's
Speaker 1: like more football players come out of Liberty City, Florida
Speaker 1: than any other place, like professional football players, you know
Speaker 1: how you see like the University of Miami and the
Speaker 1: niggas all have goals, but they're like nineteen. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all from Liberty City. Damn. Okay, so look like grown,
Speaker 1: like grown, like they already have kids, so they're they're
Speaker 1: getting whatever the opposite of like flint water is down there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's it's extra nutritious water. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: I mean, it's also the reason that I'm very glad
Speaker 1: that I did not go to the University of Miami
Speaker 1: because I got weight listed for it my dream school,
Speaker 1: and if I would have gone like I wanted to,
Speaker 1: I would have gotten pregnant in nineteen with twins from
Speaker 1: some nigga on the football team that didn't play. So
Speaker 1: you have to know who your right. I can't emphasize
Speaker 1: enough how far we've drifted off topic. I tell you
Speaker 1: I'm a problem. So what I'm saying is that the
Speaker 1: whole idea of that someone calling your name ears rings
Speaker 1: some country shit, right, And it's interesting that the same
Speaker 1: country ship came down with it's like just because you're
Speaker 1: in a new location doesn't mean y'all niggas wasn't country.
Speaker 1: So it was just that whole ear ringing or because
Speaker 1: it's like it was. What was so interesting is like
Speaker 1: the ear ringing when someone was talking about you. But
Speaker 1: if you heard your name and nobody was around, that
Speaker 1: meant the devil was calling you, so you couldn't respond
Speaker 1: to it, which I always thought was interesting. I was
Speaker 1: much scary terrifying. So and I was like as a kid,
Speaker 1: I was like, how come it's not God calling man?
Speaker 1: Why is it devil? So it's like I thought it
Speaker 1: was interesting. It's like that hearing your name wasn't someone
Speaker 1: talking about you? Yeah, but your ears ringing with somebody
Speaker 1: talking about you, or your hand itching meant you were
Speaker 1: gonna get money. Like it's those little like someone can't
Speaker 1: sweep your feet, like those little things like that, especially
Speaker 1: like the hand itching for the money and your ears
Speaker 1: ringing somebody's talking about you. So it was always interesting
Speaker 1: to me. I guess the first question I have is
Speaker 1: you're you're growing up in this sort of like uh
Speaker 1: trickle down effect country as place, do you believed? Because
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a major city. It's yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I do comedy and I'm reductive. But it's also I
Speaker 1: grew up in Atlanta and Miami. Yeah yeah, so most
Speaker 1: of my childhood is like my child was split up, Nigga.
Speaker 1: I learned how to twark when I was nine. You understand,
Speaker 1: I've been dancing the Uncle Luke. I've been popping it
Speaker 1: and listen, you wonder why I'm so good at it
Speaker 1: though I could never I could never master the rolex.
Speaker 1: That's the dance I could never figure. I could never
Speaker 1: get right. But I okay, I mean listen to some
Speaker 1: old school Miami SHEI. You don't know who DJ Uncle
Speaker 1: Owl is either. What I'm saying is that it's you
Speaker 1: had me and Uncle Luke, well a few uncles. Not
Speaker 1: about the sixty nine boys, but so it's Atlanta and Miami,
Speaker 1: so it's Georgia and then niggas that lived in Georgia,
Speaker 1: so it's these It's the same kind of all of
Speaker 1: the little sayings that you get. But everything is just
Speaker 1: slight lean. I guess just being a Southerners thing, just
Speaker 1: being slightly superstitious. M I don't know if other black
Speaker 1: people from other parts of the country are like is
Speaker 1: you know, I think, I think because so much of
Speaker 1: our origins in this country are rooted in the South,
Speaker 1: even if we didn't grow up that like you know,
Speaker 1: like my family in some ways is of the South.
Speaker 1: They just I grew up in Chicago, my mom's from Detroit,
Speaker 1: but a lot of their lineage and the ship before
Speaker 1: that is Southern, which means like, yeah, superstition is alive
Speaker 1: I think in almost every black household, where like something
Speaker 1: a motherfucker believed a hundred years ago has continued to
Speaker 1: be a thing in your house even if they ain't
Speaker 1: there anymore. That's true, But yeah, that was always thought
Speaker 1: was the ringing of the ears? Or do you believe it? Though?
Speaker 1: That was the big question you have. You have you
Speaker 1: kind of have you proven it before? Because I feel
Speaker 1: like with most shit like that, you'll be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that happening and was ringing think of you know,
Speaker 1: like a speak of the devil or the other thing
Speaker 1: they would tell you, like seeing you had a necklace
Speaker 1: and the class came to the front, they would say
Speaker 1: that somebody's talking about you. That's what that Now I've
Speaker 1: seen that be true, Whereas like the class being it's
Speaker 1: like somebody would walk up be like I I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, you're right, so they would allays be making
Speaker 1: changing moving necklace back. But it's you know, speak of
Speaker 1: you know the term like speak of the devil and
Speaker 1: you real appear. But yeah, I've had it where like
Speaker 1: I thought my ears was ringing or you just like
Speaker 1: you just have those moments you're like, somebody's let's talk
Speaker 1: about me. If you just have these little moment you're
Speaker 1: just thinking, it's like I'll just see somebody like, oh
Speaker 1: I was just talking about you the other day, and
Speaker 1: somebody'll say they were. You know, it's usually and it's
Speaker 1: a good thing. Yeah, it's because if it was, because
Speaker 1: if they talking shit, they're not gonna tell you. But
Speaker 1: don't in in its original like pitch. Was it pitched
Speaker 1: to you as a good thing or is it pitched
Speaker 1: to you as a potentially harmful thing? They there wasn't
Speaker 1: any context given. It was just if your ears are ringing,
Speaker 1: you know, if you haven't been hitting the fucking head,
Speaker 1: you know, because if my ears are ringing, but also
Speaker 1: I'm like I might be concussed, but yeah, yeah, if
Speaker 1: I've not been hit in my head, then you know,
Speaker 1: someone's talking about you, right, Okay, I would never give
Speaker 1: nor bad. It just is somebody might be talking about you, right,
Speaker 1: so you you sort of believe this or you at
Speaker 1: least seen it happen. When you say talking about you,
Speaker 1: I assume it's not just like in the immediate sense.
Speaker 1: It's not just like a motherfucker in the room is
Speaker 1: talking about you. That was my question, is what's surprised? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like how far out does this does this ringing proliferate?
Speaker 1: It's anyone who's talking about you with any time anywhere.
Speaker 1: M So it's just kind of a wave you just go, hey,
Speaker 1: my time about you, just just because it's like if
Speaker 1: you're it's just your name being wrung out, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean right, so it's like someone says your name
Speaker 1: and it's kind of like your bodies we have being like, okay,
Speaker 1: it's because I think sometimes it's I guess people want
Speaker 1: to believe that it does have a negative connotation because
Speaker 1: anytime we tell like, oh, somebody's talking about you, that
Speaker 1: phrase is never positive, right, But that might just be
Speaker 1: our own shit, right right, your own shit. Because for me,
Speaker 1: if I hear my if my ears are like ringing
Speaker 1: or like tingling or something like that, and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: somebody's talking about me. I don't ever think it's a
Speaker 1: negative thing. I don't think someone's sitting up talking cash shit. No,
Speaker 1: it's you know, when my friends are talking to each other.
Speaker 1: But like whenever I have those like, I don't ever
Speaker 1: think that if I'm being alerted to it, I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody's saying anything bad. No, I take it personally.
Speaker 1: Every Yeah, I'm this motherfucker's trying to kill me. Hey man,
Speaker 1: you know what I U My thing is always a
Speaker 1: bad step off the porch. Bro not me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're trying to kill me, and I gotta escape this.
Speaker 1: You want to listen, come outside, all right, Well we
Speaker 1: need to take a We're gonna be back with more
Speaker 1: dolse a Sloan they didn't let me into like sixth grade,
Speaker 1: more dolz a Sloan and more. My mama told me,
Speaker 1: why are you coming home? Something's going on? Can I
Speaker 1: smell yould dick sniff it? Indeed, we are bad ladies. Gentlemen,
Speaker 1: Crack the one you love and sniff them on the dick.
Speaker 1: This is that gave me a flashback to the Sky's mess,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna tell my own business. Sounds like
Speaker 1: I get assume part of it I had to do
Speaker 1: with Dick. I wasn't the one who was gonna be
Speaker 1: smelling what. Oh, I was the one who was going
Speaker 1: to be asking to smell it. I'll say that you
Speaker 1: were creeping. I was not creeping. I was living my life.
Speaker 1: Oh you're gonna try to get out on that that technicality.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's I'm not creeping if you come to
Speaker 1: my house. Exactly, he took the ring. Yeah, sure, I know.
Speaker 1: I know what he did wrong. I get it. In
Speaker 1: my defense, he never had a ring on. Ye know,
Speaker 1: that's how you believe me. Come on, I did not
Speaker 1: know until I saw him like a month later he
Speaker 1: had a ring on. I was like, um, when did
Speaker 1: you get married? And he's like, I was married the
Speaker 1: whole time, thirteen years ago. Like that. I was like, really, listen,
Speaker 1: I've been asking God to send me a husband, and
Speaker 1: I think I need to be more specific. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't need a husband, you need someone to marry.
Speaker 1: I need my husband because yeah, exactly, I need a
Speaker 1: future husband. Ye excuse me, Lord from her last prayer.
Speaker 1: I just want to make an amendment because I think
Speaker 1: there's been a misunderstanding. Yeah yeah, I see seed. All
Speaker 1: the angels in the States, listen, come on site, spread
Speaker 1: it around. So wait, So so now, Langston, you've haven't
Speaker 1: done some research? I love, I love that you're guiding
Speaker 1: us back. Good for you. I know I'm bad on
Speaker 1: a tangent, so I have to help, because friend, I did.
Speaker 1: I did a bunch of research on your conspiracy theory
Speaker 1: that i'd love to unpack with you. Let's start with obviously,
Speaker 1: this we've already talked about it as a superstitious. It's
Speaker 1: a bit of an old superstition. But I will say that,
Speaker 1: at least in my opinion, superstitions are really just conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories before the Internet. Like I think that's just motherfucker's
Speaker 1: doing what they could with their conspiratorial brains when they
Speaker 1: also had to like churn, buttering, fucking you know, wash
Speaker 1: those shirts in the fucket. I also think it was
Speaker 1: a way to just keep people safe, like don't walk
Speaker 1: under a ladder. That's just see what I'm saying, Oh
Speaker 1: you get bad luck you're walking on a ladder? Calls
Speaker 1: you could you also get fucking concussed? Yeah, you walked
Speaker 1: under a ladder, you know, right, don't step on a crack.
Speaker 1: I don't, don't. I don't know whose mother needed a chiropractic.
Speaker 1: I don't know about that one. I think. Also sometimes
Speaker 1: crashing the sideway sidewalk and it's uneven and you could trip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just falling. And back then medicine was like uh,
Speaker 1: having leeches suck your blood hammers. If you fall, you're
Speaker 1: gonna die, big dog could be done right. Yeah. Also,
Speaker 1: mirrors were expensive. Glass was expensive. Break a mirror, you
Speaker 1: get bad luck because we will never see ourselves again.
Speaker 1: We had to save up for this one. Unless you
Speaker 1: had a pool of water, bitch, you'll never see your
Speaker 1: own face, which you probably did have access to clean water. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was probably it was probably just some superstition being
Speaker 1: like a bro. Don't. But you can't see the nuance.
Speaker 1: You can't see the nuance in the in the lake.
Speaker 1: You can't really, especially as dark as me. I can't
Speaker 1: really see my face in the water. I need that glass.
Speaker 1: See why that is perfect? Boy? All right, man, I've
Speaker 1: just been drinking water, staying out of the way. The
Speaker 1: the first mention of this superstition, conspiracy theory, whatever, you
Speaker 1: want to call it comes from the Middle eight are
Speaker 1: actually way before the Middle Ages. Sorry. The first mention
Speaker 1: of this ringing at someone talk to you comes from
Speaker 1: Roman philosopher Pliny. Pliny. We're all big Pliny fans. The
Speaker 1: elder the beer is named after him. Oh is that true? No? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought were applies and I don't see Saturday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Roman philosopher Applies and his work entitled the the Natural
Speaker 1: History Encyclopedia, which came out more than two thousand years ago.
Speaker 1: So this is a two thousand year old plus superstition
Speaker 1: that's according to the white man's history books, our Italian's
Speaker 1: white Yes, ye, whoa god. This conversation was about to say,
Speaker 1: they'll try to get get out of it on a
Speaker 1: bunch of shit with that, But I'm not saying anything
Speaker 1: like that. I'm a big fan of the uh vodka sauces. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love what you do with your noodles. Not listening, Hey,
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for I'll tell you this there, listen,
Speaker 1: I understand the spicy white I get it, y'all. Tan
Speaker 1: It's fine. But because and I learned this recently, because
Speaker 1: of the discrimination that the Italians and the Irish were
Speaker 1: when they came in New York because I guess the
Speaker 1: old whites didn't want to fuck with the Catholic whites, right,
Speaker 1: So you know how Columbus came to be like a
Speaker 1: huge deal. Yeah, and the Columbus Day of Parade is
Speaker 1: a huge deal. It was basically Italians going, no, we
Speaker 1: contributed to see where the reasons, Oh, we've been here
Speaker 1: for a long time, where the reason you fuckers are here.
Speaker 1: It's not just in Super Mario Mafia. Whoa, whoa, Hey,
Speaker 1: there's no there's who are um Listen, I don't I
Speaker 1: know some guys, you know, I like it's Coca cola, baby,
Speaker 1: Coca Cola. Yes, listen, we all love uh Aaron Chenies.
Speaker 1: So that was a whole deal where they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're not not Americans, listen, We're the reason America fucking exist.
Speaker 1: And then like America's named after America's best Pucci anyway,
Speaker 1: so it's like, yeah, listen, we've been here. So that
Speaker 1: was the that was the propaganda campaign of that. So
Speaker 1: that's pretty tight though. That's good propaganda because they were like, hey,
Speaker 1: you don't get to escape us. We brought this cool
Speaker 1: rapist dude to your country. Yeah, yeah, we helped west. No,
Speaker 1: even though he's who America is named after. I always
Speaker 1: never understood that though, because if he wasn't the was
Speaker 1: he just a dude on the boat and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this seems like you. The thing is, Columbus never hit
Speaker 1: the continent of North and Southore. He was the reason
Speaker 1: they called it the West Indies. He's the reason we
Speaker 1: have the term Indians because he thought he was in
Speaker 1: fucking India. I heard, and I could be in wreck
Speaker 1: about this. I think he didn't touch it on his
Speaker 1: first trip. I think he went back and then later
Speaker 1: came to America after it had already been like yeah
Speaker 1: and like down other shit. But like, no, he wasn't.
Speaker 1: He never even made it here. That said, so this
Speaker 1: it's two thousand years old. In the Middle Ages, people
Speaker 1: believe that ringing ears was a sign that angels were
Speaker 1: talking about you. Unclear if the angels were talking shit
Speaker 1: or talking positively, but it was an angel thing, which
Speaker 1: actually makes your your point. Don't say about the the
Speaker 1: devil potentially whispering your name. Feel like, oh, it's got
Speaker 1: a little bit of a tethering there, But yeah, the
Speaker 1: devil one scares me the most. Yeah, yeah, there's my
Speaker 1: name on the street all the time, and it's never
Speaker 1: it's name. Okay, I guess maybe. Wait, Columbia is named
Speaker 1: after Columbia and then Columbia. Sorry, it just popped up
Speaker 1: dates back day, stop Langston or Dulce. I like it though,
Speaker 1: but I mean, but, like I say this, so I'm
Speaker 1: not named after a poet or a delicious street. But
Speaker 1: you know, listen, I had a neighbor named Dulce. At
Speaker 1: one point, my brother was dating a girl named Dulse.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, and she was like, you know, if we
Speaker 1: get married, me and you, if I marry your brother,
Speaker 1: we'll have the same name. And I was like, we
Speaker 1: already have the same name. She's like, no, we'll have
Speaker 1: the same name. And I was like, oh fuck this.
Speaker 1: And I looked at my brother and I was like, hey, bro,
Speaker 1: your last name is gonna be right Reguez if y'all
Speaker 1: get married. Because I'm not playing this shit. That's pretty weird.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna have another situation. Get out of here.
Speaker 1: She's someone else. I just got used to this thing.
Speaker 1: You don't get to come up and double it, you know,
Speaker 1: I a double down, double down. But I do think
Speaker 1: it's weird like they do say, like if you're in
Speaker 1: the Appalachians, like yo, if you hear your name, run
Speaker 1: in the opposite direction. Something's like calling you to try
Speaker 1: to you know, for you to no. I mean there's
Speaker 1: ghosts in the woods. Everybody knows that. Yes, now if
Speaker 1: everybody knows that, I do. Have you been in the
Speaker 1: woods alone, Lankesdon, I haven't. That's not a thing that
Speaker 1: I would ever because you're afraid of the ghosts. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I think I'm more afraid of wild animals and bad men.
Speaker 1: But but ghost, I guess, factory, I guess a little.
Speaker 1: Try to tell you, Borie, if you want to see
Speaker 1: like some wild shit. The Chicken Magua Battlefield in Tennessee
Speaker 1: is on the trail of tears. Oh yeah, see no
Speaker 1: no no, So I'm wondering can they see each other?
Speaker 1: M m oh, like is there inter ghost beef? Not
Speaker 1: in But it's like the thing is if you because
Speaker 1: like one of my friends grow like lives in summer Mill, Georgia,
Speaker 1: and they just paved the trail of tears and made
Speaker 1: it the road and then wait the sign for it
Speaker 1: is even more disrespectful. It's like a road and then
Speaker 1: there's like a giant drop of water and then you
Speaker 1: see like a silhouette of a Native American man. It's
Speaker 1: very awful. But his house is literally on the trailer
Speaker 1: of tiers. And so the Chickamago Battleville in Tennessee is
Speaker 1: on the trailer of tiers, and so it was like
Speaker 1: a it was a Civil War battlefield that's on the
Speaker 1: trail of tears. And I'm like, I wonder if they
Speaker 1: can see each other. That's too much bloodshed, I want
Speaker 1: to believe. And maybe this is me just being optimistic.
Speaker 1: I don't want to wish that on the Native Americans either.
Speaker 1: They died, they went through enough. Hell yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: need them to like spend eternity looking at a bunch
Speaker 1: of like proud whites as a battle for a country
Speaker 1: that never was, you know what I mean? Like that
Speaker 1: for a white shooting each other over stuff that they don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't, they should. I don't want you know what,
Speaker 1: You're right, I don't want that for them. But have
Speaker 1: you talked about the wait you say, so it's not
Speaker 1: a harmony career? You support whites battling? Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know all of the people that know about movies. But
Speaker 1: have y'all talked about black people believing in ghosts if
Speaker 1: you're talking about that conspiracy theory? Yet we have, we
Speaker 1: have talked a little bit about black people and often
Speaker 1: the lack of belief, I guess, and ghosts that I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't it's every So the college that
Speaker 1: I went to was very haunted and the white girls
Speaker 1: very haunted. There was a ghost tour that they would do,
Speaker 1: and there was a book written on the ghost at
Speaker 1: my college, very famous ghost, Agnes, and so I remember
Speaker 1: the white girls would always going try to find her,
Speaker 1: and they were trying to get the black girls to come,
Speaker 1: and we'd be like no, and they were like, why
Speaker 1: won't y'all go? And it's like whoa, Because once we're
Speaker 1: not fucking with her, she's not sucking with us. So
Speaker 1: they thought we wouldn't come because we didn't believe in ghosts.
Speaker 1: We told it. We were like, we're not gonna go
Speaker 1: because we do. And I'm not a business girl off
Speaker 1: because like every black person I grew up with, because
Speaker 1: it's like my friends, like if I can belie even
Speaker 1: a holy ghost, I don't believe in his other fucking
Speaker 1: ghost At the same time. I mean, all the black
Speaker 1: people were growing up, everybody believe in ghosts. Nobody that
Speaker 1: didn't believe in ghosts. I didn't go to no Holy
Speaker 1: Holy ghost as church. Oh in that way, it was like,
Speaker 1: I don't the motherfucker's pretending. So I think I believe in.
Speaker 1: I believe in. I mean this as far as yeah right,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying why. It was just like I just
Speaker 1: thought it was because, like you know, it's white people
Speaker 1: love fucking with ghosts and black people. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not. That's no, I believe I believe in leave
Speaker 1: stuff alone. Yeah, like I don't know that I'm actively
Speaker 1: afraid that I'm surrounded by ghosts right now. But I
Speaker 1: do believe that if I showed up in my crib
Speaker 1: with Auiji board, some motherfuckers might answer me, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I don't want that, so
Speaker 1: I never board in my whole life. Yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of white friends. Boy, really, No, I don't fucking touch
Speaker 1: that devil stick. Yeah go you're SLF black, but that
Speaker 1: they done it around you though, No, I don't fucking
Speaker 1: where they're doing. I wouldn't hang out. I've I've had
Speaker 1: I've seen it and been like I gotta I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I would legit leave, I gotta go. You not that,
Speaker 1: but I can't be here. I can't be here. And
Speaker 1: I think it's very interesting because it's like there's just
Speaker 1: certain I think as a kid, they would tell us
Speaker 1: leave stuff alone, like don't call for nothing, don't ask
Speaker 1: for nothing, like don't ask for anything to come to you,
Speaker 1: because you don't know what will show up. So that
Speaker 1: was the other. So it's like all of these little
Speaker 1: like it's like all files in the line of like
Speaker 1: these superstitious things. So it's like, you know, someone's calling
Speaker 1: your name as a devil someone, you're hearing your name,
Speaker 1: you know, your ears are ringing, someone's saying your name.
Speaker 1: Like there's all of these little things, like something trying
Speaker 1: to get your attention. My daughter has, uh this this
Speaker 1: stuffed animal thing called Florence the flower Pot, and since
Speaker 1: she was born, I've pretended that Florence is a devil worshiper.
Speaker 1: I'll like do like a little voice and be like
Speaker 1: I'm Florence the flower Pot. I love Satan and like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a fun little game for me and
Speaker 1: my wife, for you, for me and My wife gets
Speaker 1: furious every time I do it. She's like, hey, you
Speaker 1: gotta you gotta stop. I would not so, dark lord,
Speaker 1: And she gets she gets furious, like bro, and I
Speaker 1: quit it. I support her, tell her and I support
Speaker 1: her fully, And if she ever needs me to punch
Speaker 1: you square in chest, I will do it. I don't
Speaker 1: love I don't love Satan. Florence love Satan like you
Speaker 1: were Florence. First of all, I'm not doing that. I'm
Speaker 1: not Florence. Who voice is Florence Langston? Who gives Florence
Speaker 1: a voice? I've never looked into it, but I promise
Speaker 1: you who chose Satan for Florence? Florence shows it for us?
Speaker 1: Though she did she did her own research. What I
Speaker 1: bind you up in the name of Jesus, I'm buying
Speaker 1: a lace up in the name gonna protect his baby.
Speaker 1: Tell your life she has an ally. Tell her, I
Speaker 1: will pray against you. We called out fire on all
Speaker 1: of that knowledge. If it if it wasn't this, I'd
Speaker 1: be out having affairs with random women. I chose what
Speaker 1: I chose. This is, this is the passing. There are
Speaker 1: some kind of monster that another human has to deal with,
Speaker 1: and at the end of the day. The monster I
Speaker 1: chose is giving satanic goals to a flower pot stuffed animal.
Speaker 1: I think that's pretty reasonable. W the grand scheme of things.
Speaker 1: You could have killed a guy. I could have been
Speaker 1: a murderer. I could have been a horror murderer, a
Speaker 1: horror murderer. Are you there are the murderer? No? Both
Speaker 1: of those things, well, only one of those things is
Speaker 1: a crime. I think sex work is work. Sex work
Speaker 1: is My question is are you so? Are you he
Speaker 1: got bored? Is he murdering these ladies of the night?
Speaker 1: Are I think he? I think he's snuck in that
Speaker 1: he is also a whore. He took two bad traits
Speaker 1: instead of one, he snuck one. Yeah, so it sounds
Speaker 1: like it sounds like he's some kind of trick got renegade. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but really he's just he just sucks a lot and
Speaker 1: he kills people. Kill a lady or a man harder.
Speaker 1: It would be more helpful for you to kill a man. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no argument or are you a more mark? Are you?
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not into the semantics of it all.
Speaker 1: I'm in it for the sucking and the killing. Yo. Listen, Linkston,
Speaker 1: I realize we don't talk a lot, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: this is my personality. Yeah, this is this is what
Speaker 1: it's like. Honestly, this is the longest we've talked since
Speaker 1: what Yeah, this is where I'm at. Okay, I hate
Speaker 1: to break it to you, but this is what Listen.
Speaker 1: This is none. No, it is not. She's fine, She's fine,
Speaker 1: She's okay, Listen, Li's happy. No, no, I didn't say
Speaker 1: that she's fine. Listen. This is not my ministry, this
Speaker 1: is none of my business. I'm just here to talk
Speaker 1: about the fact that my mama told me if my
Speaker 1: ears ringing, somebody was saw mounting to the to the
Speaker 1: point of returning to our again. I brought a fashion again.
Speaker 1: Lex is the one who took us on that. All right,
Speaker 1: I will not be berated on what used to be
Speaker 1: my podcast. Of course they'll say, took over. What do
Speaker 1: you mean I've made I told you I'm good for
Speaker 1: a tangent I am. I am so distracting. I cannot
Speaker 1: emphasize enough how little any of this matters to us. Okay,
Speaker 1: good because I didn't want to take I didn't want
Speaker 1: to mess up. So one of the things that that
Speaker 1: scientists point to as science apparently has thoughts on this.
Speaker 1: They say that this ringing is not in fact someone
Speaker 1: talking about you, but is instead something called tonight. Is
Speaker 1: tonitis is the sensation of hearing buzzing, whistling, ringing, or
Speaker 1: other sounds that they may be high pitch or low pitch,
Speaker 1: vary in the type of sound produced, and one or
Speaker 1: both ears may be affected by its. Yeah, so if
Speaker 1: you have tonight, that's like NonStop, right, it's all the time,
Speaker 1: isn't it. I thought it was all the time. It's
Speaker 1: I think that there are scales of it in terms
Speaker 1: of like what it can be. And in fact, they
Speaker 1: say that a lot of us actually have tonitis and
Speaker 1: don't because of the scales that it can be, are
Speaker 1: not as affected by it that we feel like, oh
Speaker 1: we have to like dog whistle, yeah, sort of like yeah,
Speaker 1: it's individual, you know what I mean? And a little
Speaker 1: bit dog whistlettle. I know what you're doing. Yeah, is
Speaker 1: that Oh it's so high I can't hear it, or
Speaker 1: it's so low I can't wait, or you do hear it.
Speaker 1: But if you don't believe, no, I believe in those
Speaker 1: Oh you were saying, you don't know what I was saying.
Speaker 1: Is like tonight is where like you, it's sometimes it's
Speaker 1: at a point where you can't hear it, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think it's more that it's it's either short enough
Speaker 1: or faint enough that it doesn't affect your day. It's
Speaker 1: not that you don't hear it, it's just that it's
Speaker 1: like not fucking with you the way that like somebody
Speaker 1: with extreme tonight IS would be like, bro, if I
Speaker 1: don't go see a doctor about this, I am going
Speaker 1: to go crazy, right, But if you live in a city,
Speaker 1: you can't hear shit. So it's like I could have
Speaker 1: tonight is, but if I'm walking around New York all
Speaker 1: the fucking time, I don't know nothing. You see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So it's like if you live somewhere, they
Speaker 1: just be wanting to have stuff to do. This just
Speaker 1: sounds stupid, Like they say that high blood pressure blockage
Speaker 1: is in the ear and hedge trauma or even stress
Speaker 1: can cause it. So maybe some of that is related
Speaker 1: to the the stress that one would experience all day
Speaker 1: people talking about me when I'm not all these people
Speaker 1: loving me and be alive. Heck, where is David Bory
Speaker 1: in the world? Oh, he's great. We love boys and
Speaker 1: my ears is a hot line right now. Everybody loved me.
Speaker 1: That sounds like that sounds exactly like boryads out here
Speaker 1: talking about me. They loved him some Bory. There are
Speaker 1: a bunch of people who are in my research, are
Speaker 1: are on the much more spiritual end of the spectrum
Speaker 1: and a crunchy spiritual. If that's interests you all at all,
Speaker 1: like it, it's there are a bunch of people in
Speaker 1: these like sort of ethereal articles that suggests that ringing
Speaker 1: is actually the result of someone's connection to a higher
Speaker 1: spiritual plane, that like, in essence, your your ears are
Speaker 1: crossing the Jesus multiverse as it were. When that ringing
Speaker 1: is happening, I realize I'm spiritual. People ain't never talking
Speaker 1: about Christian God. They're talking about they're talking about Because
Speaker 1: the thing is, I remember seeing this VI. I saw
Speaker 1: this meme one day and it really it just it
Speaker 1: really just made me take pause because it was like
Speaker 1: y'all out here talking about y'all spiritual demons or spirits too,
Speaker 1: And I went, yeah, that's that Sammy Davis Junior ship
Speaker 1: exactly who you're talking to? What do you mean? I
Speaker 1: just the thing is, it's like, I'm not I just
Speaker 1: need clarification on something, because it's like, if we're talking
Speaker 1: about different planes, different planes of existence, that makes sense
Speaker 1: to me. We all dream, okay, yeah, we all have dreams,
Speaker 1: we all feel like you know, we all have intuition,
Speaker 1: we've all been in momentary just like, hey, something is off,
Speaker 1: something is wrong, and you've been right about that. So
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's not valid. What all I'm saying is,
Speaker 1: if you're talking to me about spirituality, who are we
Speaker 1: talking to you just want clarification. Is if it's that
Speaker 1: that Jesus talker, this is that sweet Mohammed, Like, where
Speaker 1: are we at? Listen? I love abraham religion. That's the same. Listen.
Speaker 1: I ain't got no problem to Abrahamic religion. Okay, moms, okay,
Speaker 1: just about her day actually, so um yeah, Abrahamic religions.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Everybody got listened. We all got noah,
Speaker 1: Hey what we all doing the same thing. Certain Abraham
Speaker 1: had many sons, many suns. Okay. But what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is I just want to understanding because like I hear
Speaker 1: this thing about well, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? And then no one can ever
Speaker 1: give me an answer. That usually means I know I'm
Speaker 1: not a Christian. Yeah, I like, I'm not comfortable telling
Speaker 1: my mom that I don't think her belief in Jesus
Speaker 1: is as real as she thinks it is, So I
Speaker 1: just say, Also, I'm like, I'm kind of too pussy
Speaker 1: to commit to one religion. Yeah, I don't want to
Speaker 1: read your agnostics because it's like I do think it's
Speaker 1: an interesting concept. We're just like there's something I just
Speaker 1: think pick nobody yet, Like I don't think that there's
Speaker 1: like I'm not ascribing to boom boom boom boom boom
Speaker 1: boom boom, Like what is Zoroastrianism? What I am? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it's like a precursor to Christianity as far
Speaker 1: as like the construct of it, right, I will say
Speaker 1: that that. I I think that part of the reason
Speaker 1: I have trouble with Christianity at least out how it
Speaker 1: was introduced to me is like it's not that I'm
Speaker 1: like scared to commit to some shit. I just think
Speaker 1: my brain is too limited to even understand what God is. Like,
Speaker 1: I think it's to me Christianity is like the best
Speaker 1: we could come up with with articulating what is far
Speaker 1: more complex than our brains could even manage. So we
Speaker 1: made it human and white or whatever the fuck it
Speaker 1: is because we have bias and frankly shit imaginations compared
Speaker 1: to what it is. It could well if you look
Speaker 1: at ever, you know, everyone has a creation story because
Speaker 1: everyone had to go. Okay, I don't know how we
Speaker 1: got here. Something, somebody did something for us to get here.
Speaker 1: So every you know, major even it's you know, whether
Speaker 1: it's a creation story that's not Christianity, it could be
Speaker 1: an indigenous story from any group of people on the
Speaker 1: planet who didn't co signed to you know, any of
Speaker 1: the Abrahamic religions or you know, any of the other
Speaker 1: schools of thought that we have because we can't because
Speaker 1: we had science. But science still has a concept of
Speaker 1: the Big Bang, meaning even you break down all of
Speaker 1: these things and carbon dating all this other stuff, the
Speaker 1: big Bang still is. We really don't know. We're just
Speaker 1: shout out to young Sheldon, okay, shot out to Laurie
Speaker 1: Metcalf out here just really giving us work, miambiolic. So
Speaker 1: I think the idea of it is like, I think
Speaker 1: that it's interesting that humans have to know how we
Speaker 1: got here, because I think that's a because that's the
Speaker 1: thing I'm saying for me personal, I'm not really worried
Speaker 1: about the comings or goings. It's sort of just like
Speaker 1: what you're gonna do with it while you got it.
Speaker 1: I really don't write. I'm not stressed about some creation story.
Speaker 1: I don't know how we got here because we're here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I think that's you being a more centered person
Speaker 1: than the average human is. I think most of you like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just scratching at the side of a fucking you know,
Speaker 1: cup and hoping we can like claw our way out
Speaker 1: of whatever this is. I don't need for me, I
Speaker 1: don't need to know. I don't well, the thing is
Speaker 1: for me. It's like, I don't need to know how
Speaker 1: we got here, and I don't think I need to
Speaker 1: know what happens after we die. Figure it out one
Speaker 1: way or another regardless, because the thing is you live.
Speaker 1: Because like one thing I always have been confused about
Speaker 1: it is like the term like life is short, right,
Speaker 1: but being alive is the longest thing in any any individual,
Speaker 1: any creature. Being alive is the longest thing you'll ever do.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be longer than any job. It's gonna whether
Speaker 1: you're alive, no, I'll be I'll be dead longer than
Speaker 1: I was alive. Right, but that's relative to other people
Speaker 1: knowing about your existence, right, right, right, So your body
Speaker 1: is only alive for as long as it's alive. You
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. You got what you've got. So
Speaker 1: if you're a long if you're alive for a day,
Speaker 1: or if you're a life for a hundred years, that
Speaker 1: is how long your life is. Yeah, stop bitching about
Speaker 1: your life. Fruit flies, You got what you got. You're
Speaker 1: gonna die when you die. And get out of my kitchen.
Speaker 1: Okay chen, Yeah one, but I bought one, Banannah. Get
Speaker 1: off from my fucking apples. Get off my fruit, you assholes.
Speaker 1: How did you even get in here? I wash this fruit,
Speaker 1: you bad you pineapple out for like twenty seconds. It's
Speaker 1: got seventeen fruit flies. It's so rude. You got to
Speaker 1: put don't try to put in the bacons on the thing.
Speaker 1: Listen by the pineapple chunks. Now, I don't even don't
Speaker 1: let that life. Don't let that life, because the thing is,
Speaker 1: you gotta put the tahine and the lime juice on it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: now you look different than me. What do you mean
Speaker 1: You've lifted your can California currently you can buy it
Speaker 1: from the store like that. Now for me, I like it.
Speaker 1: Give me plain old missionary pineapple. I like it. I
Speaker 1: like to lay on my pineapple and look at dead
Speaker 1: in the eye the way God intended, honestly, honestly listened.
Speaker 1: I would have thought, I honestly, when I imagine you're
Speaker 1: laying with this pineapple, I thought it was on top
Speaker 1: of you. No, Sometimes I like to let the apple
Speaker 1: sit on my face, just to switch it up. I
Speaker 1: do the work for pine apple. Okay, okay, I hear that.
Speaker 1: I hear that. Like I said, I'm bid for a tangent.
Speaker 1: We've got very superstitious. So what else did the spirituality say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: this went crazy, We're helping. I will say that the
Speaker 1: last piece of information I'll give you before we shut
Speaker 1: this thing down. There were a number of other signs
Speaker 1: that someone is thinking slash talking about you that came up.
Speaker 1: Examples including hiccups apparently are a sign mid meal discomfort,
Speaker 1: unexpected emotions, eye twitching, and my personal favorite, hearing your
Speaker 1: name feels like the most obvious, but they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you hear your name, somebody probably talking about I
Speaker 1: do think it's interesting that we've created a way that
Speaker 1: we've made sure that even a little thing can give
Speaker 1: us like an interconnectivity to another person who's not there dead.
Speaker 1: I think that's what's more about that anything. I think
Speaker 1: that's like what also, fuck hiccups, kind of truly fuck ups.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I don't I don't even want to say
Speaker 1: it out loud. I'm on a streak. What what you mean.
Speaker 1: I haven't had a probably over a year. God damn im.
Speaker 1: I'm whispering it because I don't want to suck it
Speaker 1: up my home. I needn't tell me the best way
Speaker 1: to get rid of them. You get so you need
Speaker 1: another person to do this, but you have somebody like
Speaker 1: put their hands over your ears because you know your ear, nose,
Speaker 1: and throat are all connected, right, highlight your boy. So
Speaker 1: look at boy having insurance and so but the real
Speaker 1: anti doctors of the niggas that don't take insurance. Where
Speaker 1: you got to come to the door and need we
Speaker 1: know where's that? That's real, dude. So you've ever been
Speaker 1: sent over to one of those celebrity e NT doctors
Speaker 1: where they don't take insurance or you don't know where
Speaker 1: their office is at. No. No, oh yeah, y'all don't. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Ye see, we have the same insurance. We
Speaker 1: all have to we all have the same insure, but
Speaker 1: they don't take insurance. Period. I didn't even him. And
Speaker 1: then you go to your insurance company and be like,
Speaker 1: can I have some of my money back? No, I
Speaker 1: don't do that. I didn't even know. I go to
Speaker 1: where my insurance suggested I go. And that's why my
Speaker 1: body only works kind of. Yeah, this dude's like the
Speaker 1: guy it was referral only, like I had to get
Speaker 1: a referral from I think it was from Trevor from
Speaker 1: Roy for me to even get this motherfucker's like because
Speaker 1: the lady was like hello, like one of the doctor's
Speaker 1: offers answered the phone. Hello, No, that's usually so sweet.
Speaker 1: And I was like and I was like this is
Speaker 1: doctor and she was like yes, And I was like okay,
Speaker 1: I'm like who are you referred by? And then I
Speaker 1: told her. She's like okay, you can make an appointment,
Speaker 1: but like she was like, bitch, I don't know again anyway,
Speaker 1: put the hands where Oh he had plaques from a racket.
Speaker 1: He had plaques and ship from like he had a
Speaker 1: huge thing from Rick Cares, like five feet wide with
Speaker 1: all her albums in it. But yeah, he had a
Speaker 1: thing from Michael Bolton on the other way. So he
Speaker 1: worked on Mariah Carry's throat and then she was like, here, Doc,
Speaker 1: have my platinum plaques. You can hang them in your office.
Speaker 1: She had them because like it was like because Michael
Speaker 1: Bolton had the biggest one, and it's like somebody walked
Speaker 1: in and was like, huh, let me add six inches
Speaker 1: on each side because Mariah Carries right behind and it
Speaker 1: was like, you know, a little bit bigger. But it
Speaker 1: was like, you know, her albums and stuff laid out,
Speaker 1: Michael Bolton's his albums laid out. There was like um
Speaker 1: autographs from people. He was at the Grammy's rip Rihanna
Speaker 1: making sure that she was straight. Isn't he plays? So
Speaker 1: he says, no, that is crazy. No, it's it is
Speaker 1: wall to wall people like thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: He's got signed albums covers and shit, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. This man's held job anyway, So the hiccups
Speaker 1: so you put the hands over their ears, right, and
Speaker 1: then you have somebody else do it. They put their
Speaker 1: hands like almost creating like a suction. Maybe so, but
Speaker 1: you can't hear nothing. And then you drink water for
Speaker 1: thirty seconds. Whoa, so the hands so someone else's hands
Speaker 1: is over your ears. It's hard, like just pressing down.
Speaker 1: So so it just like creates a suction. And then
Speaker 1: you drink water for thirty seconds. That feels like that
Speaker 1: feels like that could go wrong somehow, like you do
Speaker 1: that at school and somebody ends up dead. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, no, I don't know all of
Speaker 1: it's connected. I don't like it. You can't breathe for
Speaker 1: your ears, don't. I don't like it, y'all. I think
Speaker 1: it's the same concept of your sharks, sharks. It's a
Speaker 1: note for me, sharks. It's like, you know, like when
Speaker 1: you want your ears to pop on a plane, you
Speaker 1: have to like swallow or chew gum. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got you. Makes sense, So listen. I just hope
Speaker 1: I helped. I think I think you did phenomenal work today.
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I think thanks, friends, Could you tell
Speaker 1: the people at home where they can find you and
Speaker 1: what cool shit you have going on. You can find
Speaker 1: me on al Gore's Internet at dulsay sloan dot com.
Speaker 1: Also on all the socials. I just got TikTok Oh
Speaker 1: what a place to be. TikTok is wild. Oh you learned,
Speaker 1: I've learned so much. Also, I'm on Samoan TikTok man,
Speaker 1: I gotta get a flight. Damn nigga's bad anyway, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a whole that's a whole other episodek on the
Speaker 1: tiktoks um. But yeah, I'm on the TikTok on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I got show us coming up, so please keep an
Speaker 1: eye out for that and me and late Flair. We
Speaker 1: have a lip gloss line coming out called Giggle Bloss.
Speaker 1: So keeping out fair please may or may not be. Man,
Speaker 1: it's for everybody, Bory, if you want that makes me
Speaker 1: feel like it's nine. What you mean? I made a
Speaker 1: straight up lip class. But if you you're gonna have
Speaker 1: me out here looking a little too juicy, but you
Speaker 1: already out here being juicy, Bory, live your best life.
Speaker 1: I'm flat. I'm a flat bomb man. Everybody knows that.
Speaker 1: You know what, Bory, We will figure it out. We
Speaker 1: will figure it out. We'll get you a bomb if
Speaker 1: you need a bomb. I just want to chapstick the
Speaker 1: taste could well, I don't know no about no chapstick
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. I just want because
Speaker 1: my lips get listen. Listen well before your lips get gorgeous.
Speaker 1: Could you tell the people where they can find you?
Speaker 1: Sit you have going on? Find me on Instagram and
Speaker 1: cool Guy Jokes eighty seven. All my dates and stuff
Speaker 1: will be up there. They're ever changing, but I appreciate
Speaker 1: you very much. Hell yeah, and as always, you can
Speaker 1: find me at Langston Kermit on all platforms, and I
Speaker 1: do have some dates coming up. April fifteenth, I'll be
Speaker 1: in uh in San Diego at mic Drop, and then
Speaker 1: April twenty eighth and twenty ninth, I'll be in Bloomington,
Speaker 1: Indiana at the Comedy Attic. Y'all should come out. It'll
Speaker 1: be fun shit And as always, you can spend send
Speaker 1: us your conspiracy theories, your your thoughts. You can tell
Speaker 1: us what flavor of lip gloss Boris should should purchase
Speaker 1: from Giggle Gloss and you can send all that to
Speaker 1: my Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love
Speaker 1: to hear from you. That's it my bit. Look if
Speaker 1: you hate cops just because of the cops, the next
Speaker 1: time you get in trouble call a crackhead because bandies,
Speaker 1: my crop chips in your panties. O Koala bears are racist,
Speaker 1: the host, the players, morney versions inventing turney stuff. I
Speaker 1: can't tell me