Speaker 1: Hey, we're I'mstrong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast One
Speaker 1: more Thing. Find it wherever you find all your podcasts.
Speaker 2: So this blew my mind.
Speaker 3: The other day, my husband and I went to a
Speaker 3: restaurant and we're sitting there eating and I could just
Speaker 3: overhear the conversation happening next to me. It's a mom
Speaker 3: and her daughter who's maybe thirteen.
Speaker 1: Are you aby, Are you a person that can tune
Speaker 1: out people next to you or can't tune out people?
Speaker 2: I cannot? Yeah, and it drive me nuts.
Speaker 1: I easily can turn out conversations with me, but like
Speaker 1: I have friends and family members who can't, And you
Speaker 1: can't talk to them if there's someone else talking over
Speaker 1: there because they can't stop listening to them. It's I
Speaker 1: guess you're either built that way or you're not.
Speaker 4: I have a very hard time tuning out extraneous audio.
Speaker 3: Yeah, same here, so and I couldn't tune this out
Speaker 3: at all. And again, she was maybe thirteen, and they're
Speaker 3: talking about something and they weren't agreeing, and this little
Speaker 3: girl goes shut up mom, and the mom didn't react
Speaker 3: and they continue to argue, and my jaw dropped because
Speaker 3: when I was raised telling my parents to shut up.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've never done that.
Speaker 3: I have never in my life told my mom or
Speaker 3: dad to shut up in a serious manner. There was
Speaker 3: one time my dad and I were joking around and
Speaker 3: I accidentally went to shut up, and I stopped dead
Speaker 3: in my tracks in fear because I was like, I
Speaker 3: know those words aren't uttered, right, But I know parenting
Speaker 3: is changing generation generationally?
Speaker 2: Is that okay? Now? Is telling your parents to shut
Speaker 2: up like a normal thing? Jack? Have your kids ever dared?
Speaker 5: One kid did once? But yeah, no, that was not okay.
Speaker 5: It did not go well, okay, kids, right?
Speaker 3: I just I don't know if there's if that's a
Speaker 3: shift that's happening where the way you talk to your
Speaker 3: parents is changing. But the way that the mom didn't react,
Speaker 3: I'm sitting there going what.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't take it in any tone, But was the
Speaker 1: tone kind of like the valley go oh, shut up?
Speaker 2: No, they were they were having a serious cone.
Speaker 5: Wow, shut your pie hole.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that certainly would not have washed in my house.
Speaker 4: I think one of the kids may have tried it
Speaker 4: at one point and it went very poorly. But how
Speaker 4: long is a generation? They usually say twenty years Yeah,
Speaker 4: I think, okay, well all right then, well, at least
Speaker 4: my oldest kid in your youngest kid. I raised my
Speaker 4: kids during the previous generation, which is kind of funny.
Speaker 5: Shut up still is not fly with anybody I know.
Speaker 5: I don't think.
Speaker 4: If it does, you need to take a parent in class.
Speaker 1: Okay, Like Kevin Hart's got a bit where he's talking
Speaker 1: about how it turns out he was mistaken but he
Speaker 1: thought his kid he was yelling down to his kid
Speaker 1: to do something, and he thought his kid yelled fu
Speaker 1: said the words to him, and he just like gets
Speaker 1: He's like what what?
Speaker 5: What just happened here?
Speaker 1: And the crowd just goes berserk about the idea of
Speaker 1: a kid saying that to their pres which I was
Speaker 1: happy to hear, but that was just like roundly seen
Speaker 1: as oh my god, a nuclear bomb just went off.
Speaker 1: That is not okay. How is he going to react
Speaker 1: to this. It turns out he mishurt his kid over
Speaker 1: something like that. But yeah, no, shut up is not
Speaker 1: okay any but any world I know of.
Speaker 3: Okay, that brings me some comfort because the kid, the
Speaker 3: girl was similar to your kid's age, and I was.
Speaker 2: But the fact that the mom I mean she just
Speaker 2: took it.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, that I feel bad for both of them
Speaker 1: because almost guaranteed that's a bad situation either happening or
Speaker 1: going to happen.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I remember back when I was raising my kids and
Speaker 4: would talk about it on the air, and people would
Speaker 4: call in or you know, write in with questions and
Speaker 4: that sort of thing.
Speaker 5: What I thought, And.
Speaker 4: A number of times I thought, my first piece of
Speaker 4: advice is get a time machine, because you're asking me,
Speaker 4: how do I undo fourteen years of getting it wrong?
Speaker 4: And yeah, you know, it's like after your fifth heart attack,
Speaker 4: saying your doctor.
Speaker 5: You know, Well, it's you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Oh, I came across a great thing on parenting that
Speaker 4: I was going to edit for the show because it's long,
Speaker 4: but I wish, wish, wish I'd read it when my
Speaker 4: kids were young. Jonah Goldberg actually wrote it. He's quoting
Speaker 4: a bunch of other people, but he's talking about how
Speaker 4: there's a new book by a developmental psychologist who had
Speaker 4: never heard of before, Alison Kropnik. But the name of
Speaker 4: the book is The Gardener and the Carpenter, and she
Speaker 4: points out that the very word parenting really only emerged
Speaker 4: in the fifties and didn't become popular until the seventies
Speaker 4: because until the fifties, people generally lived in their hometown
Speaker 4: near all their relatives and they would just observe and
Speaker 4: everybody's there to help, and you didn't have to learn
Speaker 4: about parenting.
Speaker 5: It was self evident.
Speaker 4: You saw it all the time, and your mentors were
Speaker 4: around you anyway. But then in the seventies, people got
Speaker 4: more isolated, more mobile, they moved away and that sort
Speaker 4: of thing, and you had these parenting experts pop up, and.
Speaker 5: Often with no kids or bad kids.
Speaker 4: Right, that's right, Yeah, yeah, there's plenty of that too.
Speaker 4: But missus Gropnick point says that parents began to think
Speaker 4: like carpenters, who have a clear idea in mind of
Speaker 4: what they're trying to achieve. They look carefully at the
Speaker 4: materials they have to work with, and it's their job
Speaker 4: to assemble those materials into a finished project. The project
Speaker 4: or product that can be judged by everyone against clear standards.
Speaker 4: Are the right angles, perfect, does the door work? Gropnik
Speaker 4: notes that the messiness and veriability are a carpenter's enemies.
Speaker 4: Precision and control are her allies. Measure twice, cut once,
Speaker 4: et cetera and her thing, and I've got to admit
Speaker 4: I don't want to get too deep into the because
Speaker 4: it's incredibly serious and will make me very sad. But
Speaker 4: I was influenced by a calmness to his a so
Speaker 4: called parenting expert, and he was very much of the
Speaker 4: carpenter school. And when I ran into a kid with
Speaker 4: special needs, specifically on the autism spectrum, that was the
Speaker 4: last thing I needed. The last thing I needed was
Speaker 4: a carpenter's point of view about parenting.
Speaker 5: And MS.
Speaker 4: Gropnik's thing here and I haven't read the book. Is
Speaker 4: a better way to think about child wearing is as
Speaker 4: a gardener. Your job is to create a protected and
Speaker 4: nurturing space for plants to flourish. It takes work, but
Speaker 4: you don't have to be a perfectionist. Weed the garden,
Speaker 4: water it, step back, and the plants will do their
Speaker 4: things unpredictably and often with delightful surprises. And it's not
Speaker 4: like a hippie dippy. Anything goes. She's talking about weeding
Speaker 4: the garden and doing what needs to be done.
Speaker 5: But you're not a carpenter or a gardener.
Speaker 6: What exactly is the carpenter's way. I don't know what
Speaker 6: you're talking about as far as the carpent.
Speaker 1: Would it be fair to say, it's just like, there's
Speaker 1: one way to do it, one size fits all to
Speaker 1: get this to come out right.
Speaker 4: Essentially, Yeah, it's cut and dried. There are a list
Speaker 4: of rules. You follow him, it'll be fine. As opposed
Speaker 4: to a garden, where it's much more about nurturing than
Speaker 4: forcing that it's absolutely inevitably going to go sideways at times.
Speaker 4: If you're a good carpenter, it doesn't go sideways. You
Speaker 4: can make cabinet after cabinet after cabinet, and if a
Speaker 4: mistake is or if something goes wrong, that's utterly unacceptable.
Speaker 4: Whereas as a gardener, something's always going to go wrong.
Speaker 4: That's what the job is, and you have to adapt.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only thing I could say to your situation you overheard, Katie,
Speaker 1: because I've kind of lived this myself, is I've got
Speaker 1: one kid that's got all kinds of diagnosed things, and
Speaker 1: kinds of medication and all kinds of things. He has
Speaker 1: said and done things that if his brother did them,
Speaker 1: it would be the end of the world. But the
Speaker 1: kid that's got all these various situations. He's not always
Speaker 1: in control of everything he does. And also if you
Speaker 1: react a certain way you're about I mean, she might
Speaker 1: have a kid that if she had said anything to
Speaker 1: that kid at that moment about that, the table's getting
Speaker 1: flipped over. I mean, the police are coming that sort
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 3: Possibly, I don't even think of that possible circumstance that
Speaker 3: they're going.
Speaker 2: You know that that all could have had that problem.
Speaker 4: Final bit of wisdom learned too late, at least partially,
Speaker 4: is when I first became a youth sports coach. I
Speaker 4: think I went I can't remember where this came from,
Speaker 4: but it was pointed out to me that you don't
Speaker 4: coach all of your players the same.
Speaker 5: You coach all of your players the way they need
Speaker 5: to be coached.
Speaker 4: Some kids respond well to like the old school disciplined
Speaker 4: to bark at him some because some kids shut down,
Speaker 4: and you're not going to make him a better player
Speaker 4: a better person doing that. You got to figure out
Speaker 4: how to pick their locks. And parenting's a lot like
Speaker 4: that too. If you think it's as mathematical and cut
Speaker 4: and dried as carpentry, you're gonna do it wrong.
Speaker 1: So how did how did the things turn out with
Speaker 1: the woman and the kid who said shut up? Did
Speaker 1: they just eventually did they stop talking or did they
Speaker 1: eventually get up and leave?
Speaker 3: They went back and forth for like maybe another thirty seconds,
Speaker 3: and then their food came and I checked out of
Speaker 3: that conversation pretty much.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it shocked me.
Speaker 3: But I like that gardening analogy because that makes more
Speaker 3: sense that you're going to have more room to kind
Speaker 3: of wiggle when things go awry.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know about that mom dealing with her kid,
Speaker 1: but like, I only think about my parenting roughly eighty
Speaker 1: percent of the.
Speaker 5: Time all day long. So yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Now that's not to say there are no rules in gardening.
Speaker 4: For instance, if you feed gatorade to plants, they will die,
Speaker 4: as outlined hilariously in the classic movie slash documentary Idiocracy.
Speaker 4: All right, of course that it wasn't gatorade. It was
Speaker 4: called what Brono Brondo or Electrolytes, That's got Electrolytes.
Speaker 7: Jack Armstrong and Joe the Armstrong.
Speaker 2: And Getty Show.
Speaker 5: I came across this.
Speaker 4: Parable and I'm not exactly sure what to think about it.
Speaker 4: I think I know what to think, but I thought
Speaker 4: it was entertaining. The donkey told the tiger, the grass
Speaker 4: is blue. The tiger replied, no, the grass is green.
Speaker 4: The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit
Speaker 4: the issue to arbitration. So they approached the lion, who
Speaker 4: apparently is in charge, of course, King of the jungle,
Speaker 4: King of the beasts. Sure, donkey, donkeys and lions coabitating,
Speaker 4: all right, and getting in arguments with tigers anyway. As
Speaker 4: they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming.
Speaker 5: Yours your it is. Isn't it true that grass is blue?
Speaker 4: The lion replied, if you believe it is true, the
Speaker 4: grass is blue. The donkey rushed forward and continued, the
Speaker 4: tiger disagrees with me. He contradicts me and annoys me.
Speaker 4: They should have thrown it. It's a microaggression. Please please
Speaker 4: punish him. He's triggering me exactly. Yeah, I got to
Speaker 4: rewrite this to make it even more sickening.
Speaker 5: Let's see.
Speaker 4: The king then declared speech, the tiger will be punished
Speaker 4: with three days of silence. Got to keep his giant
Speaker 4: bitoothed mouth shut. That's the pun. The donkey jumped with
Speaker 4: joy and went on his way content and repeating the
Speaker 4: grass is blue, the grass is blue. The tiger asks
Speaker 4: the lion, your majesty, why have you punished me? After all,
Speaker 4: the grass is green. The lion replied, you've known and
Speaker 4: seen that the grass is green. The tiger asked, so,
Speaker 4: why do you punish me. The lion replied, that has
Speaker 4: nothing to do with the question of whether the grass
Speaker 4: is blue or green. The punishment is because it is
Speaker 4: rating for a brave, intelligent creature like you to waste
Speaker 4: time arguing with an ass And on top of that,
Speaker 4: you came and bothered me with that question just to
Speaker 4: validate something you already knew was true. The biggest waste
Speaker 4: of time is arguing with the fool and fanatic who
Speaker 4: doesn't care about the truth or reality, but only the
Speaker 4: victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste time on
Speaker 4: discussions that make no sense. There are people who, for
Speaker 4: all the evidence presented to them, do not have the
Speaker 4: ability to understand others who are blinded by ego, hatred
Speaker 4: and resentment, and the only thing that they want is
Speaker 4: to be right, even if they aren't.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 4: Arguing with the actual donkey, the donctivist, if you will,
Speaker 4: I can.
Speaker 5: See why I won't. I can say I like it.
Speaker 4: A great example of this is when you have the
Speaker 4: two activist groups screaming at each other in the street
Speaker 4: over the barricades, and the poor cops are rolling their
Speaker 4: eyes thinking, oh my god, I hope I go home
Speaker 4: without getting hit over the head with something.
Speaker 5: That's stupid.
Speaker 4: But if the donkeys of the world have like taken
Speaker 4: over your public school, don't you have to as the
Speaker 4: lion point out that they're teaching the lion cubs perverse thing.
Speaker 1: Does it ever do any good? I'm not sure it
Speaker 1: ever does any good? Like you, of course it does. Well,
Speaker 1: you have to uh, well, you're not going to convince them.
Speaker 1: You just have more people, I guess. I guess the
Speaker 1: thing would be if you got other people like witnessing
Speaker 1: this and you've got to convince them. But convincing the
Speaker 1: one the one person, they're not going.
Speaker 5: To change their mind.
Speaker 4: Well, right, And that's what bothers me a little bit
Speaker 4: about this parable and it's not provoking anyway, is if
Speaker 4: you go if you as the tiger, for instance, saying
Speaker 4: confused adolescent girls should not be told they're actually little
Speaker 4: boys because puberty scary, especially for girls. If you are
Speaker 4: the tiger advocating that, and you go to the lion
Speaker 4: of the electorate, that's what you have to do. I mean,
Speaker 4: if it's just a story about animals in the forest
Speaker 4: at each other, then it's not a parable. It's just
Speaker 4: a mildly amusing story. But if it's a parable, it
Speaker 4: obviously has something to do with as a humankind. And
Speaker 4: if you've got the donkey pitching that the grass is
Speaker 4: blue and it's like infected the public schools and your
Speaker 4: kids come home with a dad, you're wrong, the grass
Speaker 4: is blue, and my teacher says you're a hater and
Speaker 4: a racist for saying that you gotta go to the lion,
Speaker 4: don't you.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I suppose, But I think the parable works
Speaker 1: for just individuals. Which I was picturing. I wasn't picturing
Speaker 1: the public square. Is just if I recognize the guy
Speaker 1: at the end of the bar is like the donkey
Speaker 1: about some topic, I'm not going to engage them.
Speaker 5: What's the freaking point?
Speaker 4: Oh, I agree with that one hundred percent Katie's thoughts
Speaker 4: on the donkeys.
Speaker 1: There's no place in time or space where donkeys and
Speaker 1: lions have been in the same orbit.
Speaker 4: Is there unless the lion's already full. Let alone talking
Speaker 4: donkeys and talking lions. Yeah, that's what I was stuck on. Yeah,
Speaker 4: having a conversation. This is baffling, exactly. It's a parable,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm skulls come on over my head. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you're right. It's an individual thing and fair enough.
Speaker 1: And very very true. Do not well, I know some
Speaker 1: people feel it seems like they enjoy it. There's no
Speaker 1: point in arguing with some people about some topics.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, and the fact that a lot of people just
Speaker 4: want to be quote unquote, they want to win the argument.
Speaker 5: They don't care if they're right. It works both ways too.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes I've been I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: said this, but I've been in conversation before where I
Speaker 1: could say, look, I've thought and read about this a lot.
Speaker 1: Nothing's going to change my mind. I mean, you can
Speaker 1: say it louder and slower if you like your opinion,
Speaker 1: but it's not going to change my mind.
Speaker 4: So I or you can hint that I'm an idiot
Speaker 4: for not agreeing with you, but you're really wasting your.
Speaker 5: Time and mine, you donkey.
Speaker 4: Interestingly enough, Kentucky blue Grass is not blue either it's
Speaker 4: slightly blue er.
Speaker 1: I was disappointed in that by a kid as a kid,
Speaker 1: not by a kid as a kid. When I heard
Speaker 1: about bluegrass, I thought, this is gonna be awesome. My
Speaker 1: dad got blue grass for the yard, didn't inform it.
Speaker 1: All the other kids are gonna be so jealous. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: grass is blue is merged Simpson's hair.
Speaker 5: This is gonna be great.
Speaker 2: You guys just ruined my dad. I didn't know this.
Speaker 5: You didn't, all right?
Speaker 3: No, never been to Kentucky then, huh No, I have not,
Speaker 3: and I have all these dreams. I just pictured blue
Speaker 3: lawns everywhere.
Speaker 2: I pictured that too. Yeah, I pictured that.
Speaker 5: I just had it in my mind. It looked so fantastic.
Speaker 5: Turned on not to be true.
Speaker 2: Bluebirds are blue, blue.
Speaker 5: Berries are blue. There's grass is green? W t F.
Speaker 7: The Armstrong and Getdy Show. Yeah or Jack your show
Speaker 7: podcasts and our hot lenks.
Speaker 5: Wrong and Getty conveying our love panel.
Speaker 1: So you said love in Bloom or Crazy Stoker psychobiatch, Yes, exactly, Okay,
Speaker 1: but that.
Speaker 4: Question will be decided by the love panel. That's always
Speaker 4: the problem with that is just it's it's it's it's
Speaker 4: whether or not the other person is interested in you.
Speaker 1: All love like chasing someone's stuff is it's just so
Speaker 1: romantic and well received if the other person's interested, if
Speaker 1: they're not.
Speaker 4: And he never gave up, and now we've been married
Speaker 4: for fifty years, right beautiful.
Speaker 1: And I said no five times and I came out aside,
Speaker 1: and he was waiting by my car with a rose.
Speaker 1: If you kind of like the guy, that's just awesome.
Speaker 1: If you don't like the guy, you call the police
Speaker 1: and get a restraining order and maybe pepper spray him
Speaker 1: or send your brothers to beat him down. Yeah, rock exactly. Ah, yes,
Speaker 1: but this is a gal on a mission. Love and
Speaker 1: Bloom are crazy.
Speaker 4: Stalker psycho biac Let's find Out thirteen Michael.
Speaker 2: I saw this really cute.
Speaker 8: Guy at the grocery store the other day, so naturally
Speaker 8: I followed him to the checkout counter, and when he
Speaker 8: gave the cashier his credit card, I peeped it to
Speaker 8: see what his name was, and then I googled him
Speaker 8: and found his social media profiles, and I was able
Speaker 8: to tell that he was single. So I went through
Speaker 8: his friend's list, and I found his mother's page, and
Speaker 8: then I looked through his mother's page, and I saw
Speaker 8: that she was a member of this book club that's
Speaker 8: in my area. So I went to the book club
Speaker 8: meeting and I met his mom there, and she just
Speaker 8: thought I was so nice, and I brought it up
Speaker 8: randomly in conversation that I was single, and she let
Speaker 8: me know that she had a son that was single
Speaker 8: also that lived in the area, and maybe it would
Speaker 8: be cool for us to get together in chat sometime.
Speaker 8: So I gave her my number, which she gave to
Speaker 8: her son, and this morning he texted me and asked
Speaker 8: if I'd like to get together this weekend and do
Speaker 8: something that we're.
Speaker 2: Going to go on a date.
Speaker 3: Wait until he sees this video and goes, oh my god,
Speaker 3: who did I go on a date with?
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a pretty successful effort she made there.
Speaker 5: I don't know how it's gonna turn out.
Speaker 2: That's insane.
Speaker 5: Well, we have a little update for you.
Speaker 4: That young man is now dissolving in a is that
Speaker 4: psycho decided he wasn't worthy of living, and she is
Speaker 4: now wearing his skin as a garment and his fingerbones
Speaker 4: as a necklace.
Speaker 5: Follow up segment. All right, all right, so.
Speaker 1: Dude, run from her. God, she actually went to the
Speaker 1: book club meeting and got to know his mom. Oh wow, because.
Speaker 5: He's a cute guy.
Speaker 4: I mean, look, let's all right, recognize, I can see
Speaker 4: a dozen attractive women. There will be one that'll like
Speaker 4: make my brain explode for whatever, genetic, anthropology, anthropological who
Speaker 4: knows why it happens. Reason, doctor Freud had his own opinions, whatever,
Speaker 4: And maybe it was one of those. Maybe it was
Speaker 4: one of those. She saw him and just her jaw dropped.
Speaker 4: It was like, oh my god, for whatever reason. Now,
Speaker 4: certainly concocting some sort of can you help me out
Speaker 4: to the car with this or that would have been
Speaker 4: a hell of a lot more normal than the whole
Speaker 4: Sherlock Holmes routine. How troubled are we by the detective
Speaker 4: job and the roots she.
Speaker 1: Took man, the the going to the book club and
Speaker 1: meeting mom and getting to know her.
Speaker 5: That is that is a that's a different level.
Speaker 4: That really feels to me like something that ends up
Speaker 4: with somebody's cat getting murdered.
Speaker 1: So, Katie, you're more up on the modern world of
Speaker 1: how this is handling, how do we feel just like
Speaker 1: noticing the name on the credit card and doing a
Speaker 1: little research on online, so that.
Speaker 2: See, I think that it was.
Speaker 3: It got weird the second she looked at his credit
Speaker 3: credit card to get his number his name. I like
Speaker 3: Joe's idea, just hey, could you help me to the
Speaker 3: car with this, or like a regular approach. But I
Speaker 3: would be lying if I said that I hadn't met
Speaker 3: a guy and he had given me his name and
Speaker 3: I went home and looked him up.
Speaker 2: I've done that before, but not you know.
Speaker 3: To the extent to go meet his mom at a
Speaker 3: book club and then wear his skin later.
Speaker 2: That's weird. Michael thoughts, Yeah, pretty psycho, I wouldn't. I'm
Speaker 2: like Katie.
Speaker 6: I mean, maybe you look him up online, do a
Speaker 6: little background check, but that's it.
Speaker 5: Well, here's a little.
Speaker 3: He gives you his name, you don't look at his
Speaker 3: credit card to like kind.
Speaker 5: Of I don't this.
Speaker 2: She sounds like a serial killer to me.
Speaker 5: Well, here's a little surprise. We're going to talk to
Speaker 5: him a live now. He's chained the radiator in her basement.
Speaker 5: Help me, somebody's helped me.
Speaker 7: Gosh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the second part of this story, he goes missing
Speaker 3: and she's helping his mom look for him at that point.
Speaker 2: That's how these horror.
Speaker 5: Movies go she's putting up posters. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: I've only become aware recently, and for reasons I won't
Speaker 1: get into about how all you need is somebody. If
Speaker 1: you have somebody's phone number, for instance, you can find
Speaker 1: out everything and it costs you like a buck online,
Speaker 1: and you got every place they've ever lived, every phone
Speaker 1: they've ever had, all their friends, it's family members. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's horrifying. I mean, it's less worrisome as a dude,
Speaker 1: but man, if I'm a young woman knowing that any
Speaker 1: guy who gets a hold of my phone number at
Speaker 1: all now knows where I live and where my friends
Speaker 1: live and where I work and and everything, it's just, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just different world for that sort of thing.
Speaker 5: Of course.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, buddy of mine pointing this out
Speaker 1: to me their day, and remember when we were younger,
Speaker 1: all of our names were in the phone book with
Speaker 1: our address, all of us, all of us. If you
Speaker 1: knew somebody's name, you could look up their address. And
Speaker 1: it's not like everybody got abducted every day, right, everybody's
Speaker 1: name was in the phone book with their address. Did
Speaker 1: the unlisted thing come later? Is that now unlisted existed,
Speaker 1: but I never knew a girl that was unlisted.
Speaker 5: Every girl she was writing the phone book. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 5: real rarity.
Speaker 4: Getting back to the whole meeting mom book class book
Speaker 4: club happened to randomly mention I was single and subterfuge.
Speaker 4: That just that, that is a willingness to be sneaky
Speaker 4: and duplicitous. That isn't her first rodeo, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I think we're a little bit into the
Speaker 1: modern attitude where everybody's so paranoid of what would you
Speaker 1: rather run into a bear or a man in the
Speaker 1: woods for a woman?
Speaker 5: I mean, just you saying?
Speaker 1: Was that before unlisted was available, like you wouldn't want
Speaker 1: your name listed in the phone everybody had their address
Speaker 1: the name in the phone book, and everybody was fine
Speaker 1: with it, and everybody wasn't paranoid thinking, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's dangerous.
Speaker 5: A guy could look up my address. It worked out.
Speaker 1: I mean, so is culture that much worse or are
Speaker 1: we just way more paranoid than we Well?
Speaker 4: I would point out that if I had the hots
Speaker 4: for Jenny Smith, or even unless her name was true,
Speaker 4: her last name was truly rare and distinctive. There'd be
Speaker 4: eleven of them in the phone book. I couldn't tell
Speaker 4: which one. That was my experience at all, because I
Speaker 4: lived in small towns. Everybody everybody's name. There was only
Speaker 4: one Jenny Smith in every town. Everybody's address was right there.
Speaker 4: And I don't remember anybody abusing it, or anybody even
Speaker 4: talking about it being abused.
Speaker 5: No, nope.
Speaker 1: So what changed our parent the reality of stalkers or
Speaker 1: our paranoia.
Speaker 5: Both? I don't know. People aren't brave anymore.
Speaker 6: They don't want to just go and ask something, ask
Speaker 6: someone out right in person, you know, just hey, would
Speaker 6: you like to go out?
Speaker 2: Would you like to get some coffee?
Speaker 4: That's like old skills take developing, though, and we're not
Speaker 4: letting our kids develop those social skills. I had chatted
Speaker 4: up so many girls by the time I started college.
Speaker 4: Just the idea of oh my god, I can't I
Speaker 4: can't say hello to or.
Speaker 5: It was just foreign to me.
Speaker 4: It was not like I have some sort of bold
Speaker 4: master gamesman or anything. It was just so familiar to me.
Speaker 4: You know, hey, how you doing well?
Speaker 5: Please?
Speaker 2: Phones and internet have completely smashed that skill.
Speaker 4: I think, you know, this is a weird grab, but
Speaker 4: it popped in my head for some reason, I can't
Speaker 4: remember why. The other day I was thinking about the
Speaker 4: old like the first Bob Seeger song with the what
Speaker 4: was the name of his band, Bob Seger and.
Speaker 5: The Silber bullibin No.
Speaker 4: No, that was before he was a solo artist, when
Speaker 4: he was a Detroit rocker, but a rambling, gambling MANU
Speaker 4: the line is ain't good looking, but you know, I
Speaker 4: ain't shy, ain't afraid to look a girl in the eye.
Speaker 4: And hey, I've always kind of liked that line because
Speaker 4: he was a regular guy. But b we've got a
Speaker 4: couple of generations who are terrified to look a girl
Speaker 4: in the eye and say, hey, how you doing.
Speaker 5: So that gets back. Do you think.
Speaker 1: If she she found him alluring enough to go through
Speaker 1: all that work, she should have made her move right then?
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's equipped with the tools to do that. Of course, if.
Speaker 4: You're an all attractive young woman, all you have to
Speaker 4: say is so I see you like cereal.
Speaker 2: That's good enough ice breaker right there, exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just I have a real issue with her going
Speaker 3: on a date with him after having done all of
Speaker 3: this and acting like it didn't go down like that.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, well yeah, like, oh, we just.
Speaker 3: So happened to meet I met your mom at book club.
Speaker 3: Like the whole the star of whatever relationship this might
Speaker 3: be is going to be bs anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a decent point there. You can't start
Speaker 1: with a lie and then go from there.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, this ends with a dead cat trust Yeah, if.
Speaker 1: You if you uh yeah, if you're out with somebody
Speaker 1: and everything like that, and then she mentions, yeah, I
Speaker 1: was talking to your mom. Wait a second, and you
Speaker 1: know my mom? Why do you know my mom? This
Speaker 1: is weird.
Speaker 3: Okay, well let me tell you how this went down.
Speaker 3: So I saw your credit card at the store. I
Speaker 3: enjoy the book club that your mom is in. You're
Speaker 3: a twenty three year old woman. You're in a book
Speaker 3: club with a bunch of sixty four year olds.
Speaker 5: Why I like to read.
Speaker 1: Pretending you want to read the Bridges of Madison County
Speaker 1: so you can get to meet this old woman.
Speaker 5: That is going too far.
Speaker 7: Jack Armstrong and Joe The Armstrong and Getty Show.
Speaker 4: This is the Armstrong and Any Show featuring our podcast
Speaker 4: one more Thing, get It wherever you like to get podcasts.
Speaker 1: My son, who's fourteen and graduating from eighth grade.
Speaker 5: This week graduating.
Speaker 1: So he actually asked, why do they have eighth grade graduation? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know the real answer, but where I grew up,
Speaker 1: I thought it was because a lot of people stopped
Speaker 1: going to school at eighth grade. There was a good
Speaker 1: chunk of the class that or a particular religion, the Mennonites,
Speaker 1: they stopped at eighth grade. So I thought that's why
Speaker 1: we had eighth grade graduation because they were done. But
Speaker 1: then found out they have eighth grade graduations other places.
Speaker 1: So why does eighth grade graduation exist?
Speaker 4: You know, I've I actually heard a really interesting argument
Speaker 4: about this once, where the one point of view was, hey,
Speaker 4: they've finished a level of school. Let's say and let's
Speaker 4: show them, Hey, education is important. We're proud of you,
Speaker 4: a good job. Let's reinforce wanting to stay in school
Speaker 4: and pass everything, which I think is a perfectly reasonable
Speaker 4: point of view. The opposition was a woman who was saying,
Speaker 4: they haven't accomplished anything. They're getting the very basics of
Speaker 4: education their kids. They've got several more years of mandatory schooling.
Speaker 4: They haven't accomplished anything. They barely gotten started quit with
Speaker 4: the ceremonies. Too many ceremonies.
Speaker 2: I lean more towards that point of view.
Speaker 4: But anything that would less than the number of ceremonies
Speaker 4: I have to go to, I'm in favor of.
Speaker 3: Yes, my mom has a picture of my Is it
Speaker 3: my kindergarten graduation or my preschool graduation? I don't remember it.
Speaker 3: I'm wearing a robe. I know she had to buy
Speaker 3: a robe. Yeah, I have a little green graduation cap
Speaker 3: and robe. And they took pictures that she obviously paid
Speaker 3: for because we have it.
Speaker 2: So I'm thinking, you've got money sucked out of that.
Speaker 5: Oh, yeah we did.
Speaker 1: We had to do kindergarten graduation and there was like
Speaker 1: a certificate and stuff. But I don't think there was
Speaker 1: no robe involved.
Speaker 4: But you know, I hate to blame the gals for this,
Speaker 4: but it reminds me of little seven year old kids
Speaker 4: in full uniform playing Little League and they have opening
Speaker 4: ceremonies and closing ceremonies every season, and the parade of
Speaker 4: the teams and lots of pictures.
Speaker 5: And the rest of it.
Speaker 4: Back in the day, you just went and played ball.
Speaker 4: There's no opening ceremony. What the hell do you have
Speaker 4: an opening ceremony. First game of the year is on Saturday,
Speaker 4: go play it. That was the opening ceremony, play ball.
Speaker 1: So my eighth grader has the graduation is actually on Thursday,
Speaker 1: and you're supposed to wear a tie, So we have
Speaker 1: to go out and get a tie at some point
Speaker 1: this week. He's gonna wear my shirt and my pants
Speaker 1: because we're the same size. Oh, and it's gonna be hot. Uh,
Speaker 1: he can't wear my shoes because he has bigger feet
Speaker 1: than me. But so I have to get him some
Speaker 1: dress shoes and a tie. And it is gonna be hot.
Speaker 1: But the night before there's a big dance, the very
Speaker 1: first dance of his life.
Speaker 5: Oh boy.
Speaker 1: And he said the other day, I sure hope there's
Speaker 1: chairs because I plan to sit.
Speaker 3: It's so funny the difference between guys and gals with
Speaker 3: this one, Like I was so excited and you want
Speaker 3: to share to sit?
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I know I know that that's true. I'm
Speaker 1: sure the girls are very very excited. I was gonna
Speaker 1: talk I haven't talked to him about that. I hint
Speaker 1: it ab, but I was gonna talk to him specifically
Speaker 1: about and I haven't completely crafted it into my head yet.
Speaker 1: And it probably won't do any good anyway, cause it's
Speaker 1: different when you're fourteen than when you're older and looking
Speaker 1: back on being fourteen, but man, oh man, oh man,
Speaker 1: there's so many things that I chickened out of or
Speaker 1: kind of wish I had done or whatever. You only
Speaker 1: live once. You only freaking live once. That girl over there,
Speaker 1: you kind of like, go ask her to dance? Good, God,
Speaker 1: I gotta figure out how I want to present it.
Speaker 1: Not like that, but I mean, looking at talking to
Speaker 1: my eighth grade me, I mean, just life is short.
Speaker 5: Yeah, one go round. Yeah, here's here's what.
Speaker 4: You gotta do. Maybe I'll offer this service. I'll come
Speaker 4: over with half a dozen middle school young ladies, have
Speaker 4: your boy ask each one of them to dance, and
Speaker 4: each one of them will say thanks, but no, I'm
Speaker 4: not interested. And by the end of maybe we'll even
Speaker 4: do two rounds. By the end of it, that kid'll
Speaker 4: be like, that's fine whatever.
Speaker 1: Oh they just get used to get it, used to
Speaker 1: be rejected a couple of times, or they might be
Speaker 1: completely demoralized.
Speaker 4: But uh no, maybe have that thirteenth one say yeah,
Speaker 4: I'd love to.
Speaker 5: Did you ask so Mandy to dance?
Speaker 6: Michael yeah, I think I did. I usually got rejected,
Speaker 6: so it's okay.
Speaker 5: I didn't ask anybody to dance.
Speaker 1: Somebody asked me to dance for the last slow dance
Speaker 1: of the night, and I've never been more nervous in
Speaker 1: my life. I can still feel the sweat running down
Speaker 1: my armpits as we were slow dancing. I was so
Speaker 1: nervous and scared.
Speaker 5: But why wouldn't you?
Speaker 1: I mean, and I kind of wanted to dance, but
Speaker 1: I was scared at one of being rejected and two
Speaker 1: of dancing in front of other peace people. It's just God,
Speaker 1: when you get older, it just seems like, why would
Speaker 1: you freaking care? But that's just the perspective of age.
Speaker 1: You can't you know, you can't inject that into someone.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and dances are so small in our lives now.
Speaker 3: It's such a big thing to them, right.
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, of course it is.
Speaker 1: And I'm you know, so on one hand, I don't
Speaker 1: know about his friends, but it's probably true for his
Speaker 1: friends too. On one hand, he's I hope they have
Speaker 1: chairs there. I might bring my own camping chair just
Speaker 1: so I make sure possessed it.
Speaker 5: But he has.
Speaker 1: Uh, we got a haircut two weeks ago, and he
Speaker 1: wasn't quite happy with that, so we went and got
Speaker 1: another haircut, and uh, you know, he's been picking out
Speaker 1: his clothes. So I mean, you wouldn't get two haircuts
Speaker 1: and pick out your clothes and all this sort of
Speaker 1: stuff if you didn't care at all. So you care,
Speaker 1: but you just don't want to look like you care,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure none of your friends are looking like
Speaker 1: they care. As the boys again, as the girls you get,
Speaker 1: you can be as thrilled as you want to be.
Speaker 5: Lots of exclamation points if.
Speaker 4: Your Yeah, I played the records at the dances I
Speaker 4: did in middle school. I volunteered for that. I think
Speaker 4: it's one of the reasons I became a musician. If
Speaker 4: I'm playing, you can't ask me to dance. I'm all
Speaker 4: the high school dances. I was the DJ, which kind
Speaker 4: of got me out of it. I got to be there,
Speaker 4: but I had a job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but uh yeah, so I don't know. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try to craft some sort of go for it type
Speaker 1: speech see how it lands. But I can just think
Speaker 1: of several examples of like why why didn't you, Why
Speaker 1: didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that? There's
Speaker 1: no downside. The worst case scenario is nothing. The well,
Speaker 1: actually a worst case scenario is not doing anything and
Speaker 1: then wishing the rest of your life you.
Speaker 5: Would have tried. So yeah, hear here. So that'said.
Speaker 1: He bought a fake rolex off of Amazon. He totally cares.
Speaker 1: He totally cares. He does cool to not care, but yeah,
Speaker 1: he cares. He bought this fake rolex. It's forty dollars
Speaker 1: and it's so shockingly great. I mean it's really really good.
Speaker 1: It's like really heavy and nice and yeah, very cool.
Speaker 1: I think you may be admitted to a federal offense.
Speaker 4: Harboring a known importer of repbove the counterfeit Goods got
Speaker 4: it off Amazon.
Speaker 7: The Armstrong and Getty Show, Yeah Morga Grgio podcasts and
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