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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you if you subject. My wife used to keep

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Speaker 1: herself up. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for thirteen

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Speaker 1: years and my wife and I work from home. I

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Speaker 1: do food deliveries two nights a week just so I

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Speaker 1: can get out of the house and give her some space.

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Speaker 1: She goes walking with ladies in our neighborhood to give

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Speaker 1: me space. I love that she's lost weight and kept

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Speaker 1: it off, and so have I. We don't have sex

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Speaker 1: as much as we used to, but when we do

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Speaker 1: we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem to

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Speaker 1: be great with us, but it's not because my wife

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Speaker 1: has let herself go in a lot of ways. I

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Speaker 1: know you're going to say, I'm being petty, and I

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Speaker 1: might be the one with the problem, but check this out.

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Speaker 1: Whenever my wife and I are about to be intimate,

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Speaker 1: I encourage her to take a nice bubble bass to

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Speaker 1: get in a mood. I have to do that for

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Speaker 1: more reasons than one. When she's going walking with the

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Speaker 1: other ladies, I suggest that she wear a baseball cap

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Speaker 1: instead of her hairscarf that she wears to bed every night.

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Speaker 1: I ordered her exercise clothes so she will stop walking

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Speaker 1: in my big T shirt and her old jogging pants

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Speaker 1: with holes in them. I want her to present herself

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Speaker 1: better than that. When she's waving at our neighbors as

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Speaker 1: she walks by, I have asked her if she realizes

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Speaker 1: her nails are grown out and need to be redone,

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Speaker 1: and she's told me that they're fine since she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have plans to go anywhere. Same with the toeenails, because

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Speaker 1: she stopped trimming them herself. Maybe I'm being too hard

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Speaker 1: on her, but I want her to be my cute,

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Speaker 1: sexy wife at all times, and if I have to

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Speaker 1: keep reminding her to do certain things to maintain herself,

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Speaker 1: it's a problem. Why do I have to tell her

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Speaker 1: to bathe? Am I wrong for how I feel. Please help. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not wrong. How you feel is how you feel.

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Speaker 1: And if your wife is not bathing bathing, you have

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Speaker 1: an obligation as her husband to tell her period. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's not being petty. Now, why she's not bathing is

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Speaker 1: a whole other issue. It sounds like just plain laziness

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Speaker 1: at this point. She works from home now see, and

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Speaker 1: has nowhere to go, so she doesn't feel the need

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Speaker 1: or the purpose of doing anything like getting dressed or

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Speaker 1: getting her hair done or getting her nails done. That

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Speaker 1: requires a lot of effort for nowhere to go and

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Speaker 1: nothing to do. And I'm just gonna say she's stuck

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 3: She really is. She's kind of in a rut. She's stuck.

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Speaker 1: But she has to remember that men have egos, they're visual,

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Speaker 1: So please you know this could lead into other things like,

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Speaker 1: you know, causing him to cheat or giving him a

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Speaker 1: reason to cheat, and that's what you do. I don't

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Speaker 1: want him to do. Not keeping yourself is reason enough

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Speaker 1: for some men not to cheat. If you don't keep

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Speaker 1: yourself up. Marriage is work. We all know that, and

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Speaker 1: part of that work is not letting yourself go. So

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Speaker 1: you husband I need you to start planning some date nights,

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Speaker 1: some dinners out, get back to doing things with friends

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Speaker 1: outside of the house, so your wife will have a

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Speaker 1: reason to get dressed and start feeling good about herself again.

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Speaker 4: Steve, Wow, surely, great answer, great answer, great answer. I

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Speaker 4: am going to disagree with damn near everything you said

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Speaker 4: because I think we need to have a counter to this.

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Speaker 2: Surely, your answers are always.

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Speaker 4: Pretty much close to the vest, and you know you more,

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Speaker 4: you know, you know, you try to be more. I

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Speaker 4: guess diplomatic in your responses out. On the other hand,

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Speaker 4: that ain't my job. That ain't my job. So I

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Speaker 4: will show you what my job is.

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Speaker 3: Do your job.

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Speaker 2: I've been married.

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Speaker 4: Thirteen years and my wife and I work from home,

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Speaker 4: so he do food deliveries two nights a week so

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Speaker 4: he can give his wife some space, and she go

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Speaker 4: walking in the daytime with her ladies to give him

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Speaker 4: some space since they work from home. They tied each other. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: see that space. Even though everybody needs space. I don't

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Speaker 4: care who you are. Everybody needs space. But you're trying

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Speaker 4: to get out of the man and she trying to

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Speaker 4: get out of that. And I understand that because y'all

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Speaker 4: working from home, y'all around each other all the time.

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Speaker 2: Eh.

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Speaker 4: Now she goes walking with the ladies in our neighborhood

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Speaker 4: to give me space. And I love the fact that

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Speaker 4: she's lost weight and kept it off, and so have I.

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Speaker 4: We don't have sex like we used to. Nobody does, sir,

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Speaker 4: but we still have the best chemistry. Everything would seem

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Speaker 4: to be great with us, but it's not.

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Speaker 2: And why is it not?

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Speaker 4: Because my wife to let herself go in a lot

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Speaker 4: of ways. Let me stop right here. If a man

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Speaker 4: writes into a radio show, he and his wits in.

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Speaker 4: Men don't write in seeking help unless they really need help.

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Speaker 2: He over this help, this little routine she pulling. He

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Speaker 2: done with her?

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Speaker 4: Now, Like he said, some people be talking about, well,

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Speaker 4: you got to be the problem.

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Speaker 2: You love your wife the way she is.

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Speaker 4: I don't know who keep telling you all that, you know,

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Speaker 4: especially when women say, man have to take me as

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Speaker 4: I am.

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Speaker 2: No, he don't. That ain't in our book nowhere.

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Speaker 4: Whenever my wife and I about to be intimate, I

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Speaker 4: encourage her to take a nice bubble bath to get

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Speaker 4: in the move. I have to do that for more

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Speaker 4: reasons than one. Now, he's trying to be nice.

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Speaker 2: Right here.

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Speaker 4: I try to encourage her to take a bubble bath

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Speaker 4: to get in the mood for more reasons than one. Now,

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Speaker 4: the man don't want to out his wife, but we

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Speaker 4: all know what that means. You you then walked. Come

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Speaker 4: on now, friction, Come on now you're up in hill

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Speaker 4: lot it it got hot, all right?

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Speaker 3: Hang on your response?

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Speaker 2: Uh uh?

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Speaker 1: Coming up on twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: subject my wife used to keep herself up. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this.

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Speaker 3: You're listening.

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Speaker 1: Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. The subject is my wife you used to

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Speaker 1: keep herself up?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 4: This is a letter about a man who won't been

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Speaker 4: married thirteen years and they work from home, so they

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Speaker 4: run each other all the time.

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Speaker 2: They need some space.

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Speaker 4: He makes food delivered twice a week at night to

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Speaker 4: give her some space, and she go walking with the

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Speaker 4: ladies in the neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: Give him some space. Everybody needs space.

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Speaker 4: Uh. You know, when they intimate, they don't have sex

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Speaker 4: like they used to, but when they intimate, the chemistry

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Speaker 4: still there. And then I say, you know, but now

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Speaker 4: here go problem. Whenever we about to be intimate, I

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Speaker 4: encourage her to take a bubble bath to get in

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Speaker 4: the mood. I have to do that for more reasons

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Speaker 4: than one. First of all, let me tell you something.

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Speaker 4: Men don't need a bubble bath to get in the mood.

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Speaker 4: Something is wrong here, Something is wrong. I ain't ever

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Speaker 4: got ready to go in there and say, baby, you

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Speaker 4: wanna go on in there and take a bubble bath now,

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Speaker 4: because I don't need nothing to cause you to change

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Speaker 4: your mind. And if we hear now, it looks like

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Speaker 4: it's pop off. In the words of Marvin Gate, let's

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Speaker 4: get it home. Come on all right now, Now you

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Speaker 4: have to encourage her to take a nice bubble bath

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Speaker 4: for more reasons than one, because she at walking with them. Ladies,

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Speaker 4: see friction are now here, we are. We need to

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Speaker 4: get in this water. Then, he says, I suggest she

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Speaker 4: wear a baseball cap on her head instead of that

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Speaker 4: hasscoff that she wear the bed every night. Now hold on,

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Speaker 4: hold up now, now this scarf is doing double duty.

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Speaker 4: We all know about that scarf. It's y'all's favorite. It's

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Speaker 4: the one you won't It's a silk scarf. Keeps your

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Speaker 4: hand place and keeps it from breaking off. But you

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Speaker 4: can't wear it that night and all day too, and.

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Speaker 2: Then wrap it in a night This too much back

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Speaker 2: in the day when you had.

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Speaker 4: The sofa ad and the Glover's Maine, you know, stuff

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Speaker 4: like that. You know it's tied right here, this thing

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Speaker 4: bergamont ulchrasine pro line.

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Speaker 2: You know, it just was just wrong. It was just wrong,

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Speaker 2: you know, sporting waves all this here.

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Speaker 4: Now, I ordered her some expensive I ordered her some

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Speaker 4: exercise clothes so she can stop walking in my big

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Speaker 4: T shirt and old jogging pants with holes in them.

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Speaker 4: Because I want her to present herself better than that

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Speaker 4: when she waving at our neighbors as she walked by.

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Speaker 4: Because a man's job is to protect and provide. He

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Speaker 4: protected his image, her image. He provides her with new

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Speaker 4: workout clothes so she can walk by the look more decent.

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Speaker 4: I have asked her if she realizes that her nails

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Speaker 4: have grown out and they need to be redone. She

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Speaker 4: told me, they find since she don't have plans to

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Speaker 4: go anywhere, Shirley said, and then she said same with

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Speaker 4: the toenails, because she stopped trimming herself sly Shirley said,

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Speaker 4: she's lazy.

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Speaker 2: This is not lazy, this is trifling.

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Speaker 4: There's a difference between lazy and trifling.

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Speaker 2: Then she said, maybe we ought to take out on

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Speaker 2: date night? Anybody taking her?

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Speaker 4: No, damn well, you got these claws on your hands

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Speaker 4: and feet, you looking like an eagle snatching a fish.

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Speaker 2: Up out of lake. And now you think I'm finna

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Speaker 2: get you dressed up and we going somewhere. We ain't

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Speaker 2: gonna know where. I'm gonna tell you what's really wrong.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I'm being too hard on her, but I want

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Speaker 4: her to be my cute, sexy wife at all times,

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Speaker 4: and I have to keep reminding her to do certain

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Speaker 4: things to maintain herself as a problem. Why do I

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Speaker 4: have to tell her to bathe? Am I wrong for

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Speaker 4: how I feel? Please help? No, you're not wrong for

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Speaker 4: how you feel. Everybody want their girl to be fresh.

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Speaker 4: Most men's wives are cleaner than them. Most women that

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Speaker 4: I've seen and met, they really in the up take

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Speaker 4: care of their business women. For the most part, man

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Speaker 4: they know how to put it on. I very rarely

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Speaker 4: see women that ain't trying.

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Speaker 2: To do right. I just don't yours. Then gave up.

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Speaker 4: To say ladies's just trifling, and she being a little

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Speaker 4: bit trifling right now. But I'm gonna tell you what

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Speaker 4: the real reason is. Shirley says she's stuck. She's not stuck.

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Speaker 4: She has taken him and the marriage for granted. And

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Speaker 4: that is what I talk to women about all the time.

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Speaker 4: The thing that hurts a man most of all is

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Speaker 4: when we get taken for granted and we are not appreciated.

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Speaker 4: If you got a man that's out here working, you

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Speaker 4: got a man buying you new exercise coach. You got

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Speaker 4: a man in here wanting you to take a bath,

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Speaker 4: reminding you to clip your toenails, to clip your This

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Speaker 4: man is doing all he can. But you are sitting

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Speaker 4: up there thinking, you my husband, you ain't going nowhere.

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Speaker 4: So now you've taken your marriage and your man for granted.

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Speaker 4: And so now once you take us for granted and

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Speaker 4: you stop showing appreciation, you stop fixing up the package, Well,

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Speaker 4: I got news for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm gonna tell you right now. He looking around.

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Speaker 4: He ain't just wrote this letter because he trying to

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Speaker 4: stop the wandering eyes he got because he looking around,

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Speaker 4: he's seeing what put together look like.

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Speaker 2: Y'all got I g sir. Yes, hit that little circle

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Speaker 2: that say search Lord Mercy. That's what he's seeing.

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Speaker 1: All right, and that's what you want.

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Speaker 3: Your day's raby.

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Speaker 2: Are you gonna lose hell? Period?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never Sounded So good.

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Speaker 3: You can download it today now.

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Speaker 1: Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we

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Speaker 1: got Junior and sports talk.

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Speaker 3: Right after this. You're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show.