Speaker 1: Hello, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. How's whistler?
Speaker 2: Whistler is has welcomed me with open arms. It's springtime.
Speaker 2: Spring skiing has sprung. Doug and I have reunited. We
Speaker 2: took a plane ride together with an e bike, the
Speaker 2: three of us, and I sent him back to training
Speaker 2: camp and somehow he came back a slightly more aggressive
Speaker 2: So we are we.
Speaker 3: I know, I have my work cut out for me.
Speaker 2: I'm hanging out here with all my girlfriends having a
Speaker 2: grand old time.
Speaker 3: Very happy about a break.
Speaker 2: I hope everyone has checked out my new Netflix special,
Speaker 2: The Feeling. It has premiered on Netflix. It's out now officially,
Speaker 2: and yes, very exciting my book and my special.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's all it's all common up Brosa's. I'm
Speaker 4: getting so many emails, especially about the book. I mean,
Speaker 4: the special just came out, so I've gotten a feel
Speaker 4: about that too, But so many emails from listeners saying
Speaker 4: how much they love the book, how much it's meaning
Speaker 4: to them.
Speaker 3: So oh nice.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 3: I love that. I'm trying to answer all my dms.
Speaker 2: Some of them are a little fucked up, though, so
Speaker 2: sometimes I read them and I'm like, unread, unread, I
Speaker 2: couldn't find there's like a section from when you get
Speaker 2: DMS by from people that you don't know, like there's
Speaker 2: nothing to say unread. But then I realized, once you
Speaker 2: they're not in your primary or jet you know they're in,
Speaker 2: you're not, yes, so it doesn't matter if you read
Speaker 2: them and don't because I'm like, oh God, I don't
Speaker 2: want to deal with this. So many people are asking
Speaker 2: me for money. I would love to help everyone with money.
Speaker 2: I don't have that much money to be giving out
Speaker 2: to strangers.
Speaker 3: I can't really do that for legal purposes.
Speaker 2: Mostly I've had bad experiences in the past. So while
Speaker 2: people are reaching out, I mean, I want to help you,
Speaker 2: but I can't.
Speaker 3: Legally just give out money to people all the time.
Speaker 4: So but that's why it's nice that we have that
Speaker 4: resource of like pandemic of love that we can send
Speaker 4: people to that helps, you know, connect people with people
Speaker 4: who can donate.
Speaker 2: So yes, and also there's all these great teachers that
Speaker 2: are asking for supplies. That is something that we can
Speaker 2: do and every ready can donate to for teachers who
Speaker 2: need supplies for their classrooms, especially considering everything that's happening
Speaker 2: in this hot mess administration that is driving me to
Speaker 2: drink more even while I'm in Canada. Who all my
Speaker 2: Canadian friends are like, no one will buy American goods.
Speaker 3: Up here, you know, no one.
Speaker 2: It's like an American boycott. I don't know how much longer, exactly,
Speaker 2: I don't know how much longer Americans are even going
Speaker 2: to be welcome.
Speaker 4: I mean, listen, I a millennial, have not shopped at
Speaker 4: Target in like two months. So like, if that doesn't
Speaker 4: tell you something's crazy, I'm fully on with the boycott.
Speaker 3: So I am as well. I am as well.
Speaker 2: It's hard to boycott Amazon. Everyone orders everything from Amazon.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to minimize my Amazon like it's down to
Speaker 4: the bear bear bones.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, on the bright side, our lovely guest today is
Speaker 4: Michelle Monahan, who can be found on this current season
Speaker 4: of White Lotus.
Speaker 1: Please welcome Michelle Monahan.
Speaker 5: Hi, Chelsea, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 3: Long time?
Speaker 2: No meat, I've been waiting to meet, excell you me too.
Speaker 2: Look at all of your people leaving your room. Where
Speaker 2: the people servicing you?
Speaker 5: They're all service me.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, where are you?
Speaker 1: I'm in New York. I'm in New York. I just
Speaker 1: got here for a couple of days in press, and
Speaker 1: I'm excited to be talking with you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god. Well we have so
Speaker 2: much to discuss. First of all, yes we do. We
Speaker 2: have so much to do. I hope you're seeing Leslie
Speaker 2: while you're in New York.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you.
Speaker 1: I am just going to miss her. We were just texting,
Speaker 1: and I don't think it's going to happen because she's
Speaker 1: knee deep in in all of her press at the moment,
Speaker 1: and I am too. But I did get to see
Speaker 1: her a couple of weeks ago. We both happened to
Speaker 1: be in Paris, and so we had a beautiful dinner
Speaker 1: and a great catchup.
Speaker 3: And yeah, she told me. She told me.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, the fact that the
Speaker 2: two of you are working together. I was so excited.
Speaker 2: I don't know Carrie yet, but I'm going to have
Speaker 2: to meet her too because of the three of you.
Speaker 2: But so, okay, we're not going to give any well
Speaker 2: we are, because who cares.
Speaker 3: You know, if people aren't caught up to.
Speaker 2: White lotus, then they're fucking not paying attention to the
Speaker 2: life anyway.
Speaker 1: It's going to be ruined for them. The internet going
Speaker 1: to ruin it for them. Any ways, they should catch up.
Speaker 2: But by the time we air this, they'll have been
Speaker 2: at least one more episode come out. So let's just
Speaker 2: talk about the most recent episode where you fuck the.
Speaker 3: Guy that youre a friend wanted to fuck.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I saw this, I mean, I guess I
Speaker 2: didn't see it coming. I want to say I saw
Speaker 2: a coming after I came. But I mean, we just
Speaker 2: see the lead up. But the whole dynamic between the
Speaker 2: three of you will start with white lotus because it
Speaker 2: was such a huge filming experience that I have a
Speaker 2: couple of friends that were on this show, so I
Speaker 2: was so like, I heard so many different things about
Speaker 2: being away for that many months.
Speaker 3: You guys were away for six months in Thailand?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, absolutely, yeah, six months?
Speaker 2: And what how I mean I know you have children?
Speaker 2: You have two daughters, right.
Speaker 1: I am two. I was a sixteen year old daughter
Speaker 1: and an eleven year old son.
Speaker 3: Eleven year old son.
Speaker 2: How do you stay away from your son for an
Speaker 2: eleven year old son?
Speaker 3: Was he able to visit you?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well I was lucky because the show basically started
Speaker 1: filming in February, so they came over for three weeks
Speaker 1: at spring break, and then they came over for three
Speaker 1: months during the school holidays, the summer vacation, so I
Speaker 1: got to actually spend quite a bit of time with them.
Speaker 1: And then, as you know, the show is very much
Speaker 1: an ensemble with multiple storylines, and so with the nature
Speaker 1: of filming, you would have kind of one storyline front
Speaker 1: and center, the Ladies specifically, as Mike refers to as
Speaker 1: the Ladies. We kicked off productions, so we shot pretty
Speaker 1: intensely for about four weeks I think, and then the
Speaker 1: rat lifts started and so the Ladies had a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks downtime. So I flew back home to be
Speaker 1: with the family. Then. So what I thought was going
Speaker 1: to be a really really intense time of being away
Speaker 1: from my family and thinking like, holy shit, how the
Speaker 1: fuck am I going to make this work? Actually it
Speaker 1: didn't end up being that at all. I was actually
Speaker 1: able to travel to see them in The big joy
Speaker 1: was them being able to come over and spend time
Speaker 1: in Thailand and kind of having that family adventure there
Speaker 1: was like hitting second to none.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, what tell us about Thailand? Tell us
Speaker 2: about spending so much time there?
Speaker 1: You know, I am someone who loves to travel. It's
Speaker 1: it's probably my greatest pastime and certainly the greatest privilege.
Speaker 1: I've been traveling since I was about seventeen, kind of
Speaker 1: on my own. I started modeling when I was a teenager,
Speaker 1: and so it's something that I feel really comfortable doing
Speaker 1: and I am excited to always do. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: even if it's in like Winnipeg or Albuquerque, I will
Speaker 1: find my jam. I will find that routine.
Speaker 3: Those Winnipeg listen, don't.
Speaker 2: I've heard Winnipeg about five times in the last two weeks.
Speaker 2: I have spent three days in Winnipeg. I will never
Speaker 2: ever see the inside of Winnipeg again.
Speaker 3: So the fact that you.
Speaker 6: You got to be in Winnipeg in summer because that's
Speaker 6: what all the beer gardens come out, and like everybody's
Speaker 6: in a good nude, So you know, you got to
Speaker 6: You gotta do Winnipeg in the right season.
Speaker 1: That's the key. That's the key.
Speaker 2: I would imagine Winnipeg is really celebratory in the summertime
Speaker 2: after what they got through in.
Speaker 3: The winter time.
Speaker 1: They're like Chicago, you know, like all the crazy comes.
Speaker 2: Out well without without the shopping and without the civilization
Speaker 2: I mean Winnipeg. I spent three nights in Winnipeg. I
Speaker 2: was performing in on tour.
Speaker 3: How much online shopping did you do online? Are you
Speaker 3: kidding me?
Speaker 2: I just took I took Xanax one after another and
Speaker 2: just kept sleeping. I was like, fuck this place. I
Speaker 2: woke up for my show and then went back to sleep.
Speaker 3: Afterward.
Speaker 2: I flew in there and it was a sheet of ice.
Speaker 2: It was, and there were people ice skating, like not
Speaker 2: in an ice skating rink. On the streets. People were
Speaker 2: ice skating to work. I was like, ok, God, and
Speaker 2: with no mountain, so I love the snow if there's
Speaker 2: something to ski.
Speaker 3: But there was nothing to see because it's all flat.
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. It's very anticlimactic there, right, exactly.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a good note to go back in the summertime.
Speaker 3: I'm sure. I mean, I can't get any work.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, rights, It's okay then, But I will say
Speaker 1: Thailand was amazing.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: I'd never been to that part of the world. I'd
Speaker 1: spent a little time in Singapore probably a couple decades ago,
Speaker 1: spent time in Japan, but never been to Thailand. And
Speaker 1: it was a place that I've it's kind of always
Speaker 1: on that on that list, and it's gorgeous there. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's called the Land of Smiles for an absolute reason.
Speaker 1: And you get there and the people, the culture is
Speaker 1: so warm, and the food. I mean, I listen, I'm
Speaker 1: a huge fan of Thai food. I love to eat,
Speaker 1: and there wasn't one day that I was ever sick
Speaker 1: of eating you know, thaie beef salad or green chicken
Speaker 1: curry or grapao or any kind of Thai dish. And
Speaker 1: fresh fish, I mean they you know, you you eat
Speaker 1: the most incredible like sea bass, red snapper. I mean
Speaker 1: it's all just caught fresh. It was just it was
Speaker 1: a beautiful experience to be able to just have that
Speaker 1: as a part of like your daily routine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have.
Speaker 1: It was pretty sweet. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So you talk about this experience being one of like
Speaker 2: the most expansive experiences career wise and personally that you've
Speaker 2: had working with Mike White, working.
Speaker 3: On this show.
Speaker 2: Can you talk a little bit more about why it
Speaker 2: has been such a special experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, listen, I've been in this industry for
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five years. I mean, it is not lost
Speaker 1: on me how special that is to be able to
Speaker 1: have that kind of longevity as an actor, to have
Speaker 1: a kind of breadth of a career that I've had,
Speaker 1: you know, been able to explore so many different kinds
Speaker 1: of genres, you know, in my career, independent film, big films,
Speaker 1: you know, television, and that's been incredible for me. But
Speaker 1: I'm also a woman in my in my forties, and
Speaker 1: we always get fed that narrative, you know that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, your career is going to start to dry
Speaker 1: up in your forties, There's not going to be those
Speaker 1: kinds of roles. And I guess in some ways I've
Speaker 1: maybe experienced that notion, but I also think like that
Speaker 1: we feed ourselves that and those are like stories that
Speaker 1: we tell ourselves, which I don't necessarily think are reality.
Speaker 1: I think to be able to specifically work with with
Speaker 1: Mike on this particular storyline was really special for me.
Speaker 1: We were coming out of a strike as a union.
Speaker 1: Things were really slow, you know. The opportunity came to
Speaker 1: me and said, you know, Mike would like you to
Speaker 1: audition for this character, and I was like, holy shit.
Speaker 1: I've loved Mike from Chuck and Buck, like from back
Speaker 1: in the day. I've been obsessed with that dude. And
Speaker 1: I randomly met him at a dinner party, like I
Speaker 1: don't know, probably fifteen seventeen years ago, and I sat
Speaker 1: across from him, my husband and I did, and I
Speaker 1: remember us leaving that dinner part I was like, that
Speaker 1: fucking guy is so cool, weird and awesome, Like, I
Speaker 1: just want to spend more time with that guy. And
Speaker 1: within that span of time, of course, we've watched the
Speaker 1: trajectory of Mike's career as an actor, as a writer,
Speaker 1: and most certainly, you know, as a director. To then
Speaker 1: actually have an opportunity to kind of work with him.
Speaker 1: When I got the gig, I was like overwhelmed, you know,
Speaker 1: I cried tears of joy, you know, because I knew
Speaker 1: how big of an opportunity this was. And I think
Speaker 1: as an actor and as a fan of the show,
Speaker 1: you know, he's a master of tone, and so to
Speaker 1: get to creatively, to dive in and to kind of
Speaker 1: flesh out the neuroses of these people bull that walks
Speaker 1: such a fine line between comedy and drama, and it's melancholic,
Speaker 1: it's all this acerbic, all those things like that's such
Speaker 1: a challenge and I was so excited to be able
Speaker 1: to challenge myself as a as an actor, as a
Speaker 1: performer and go like, all right, can I lean into
Speaker 1: these things? Can I deliver exactly what his material deserves?
Speaker 1: And so I was super excited about getting that opportunity
Speaker 1: and to get to do it also with like the
Speaker 1: likes of Leslie Bibb and Carrie Koon, who I hold
Speaker 1: in such highestea.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's such a great trifecta, the three of
Speaker 2: you girls. I fucking love it so much. Well, I
Speaker 2: want to ask you a question as an actor, when
Speaker 2: you read this, right, you, when you're first auditioning, you're
Speaker 2: just reading probably sides or.
Speaker 3: That you get the first script. Maybe I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how he works, but I'm sure it's
Speaker 2: very secretive. Yes, right, So once you get hired for
Speaker 2: the role, are you able to read through the entire series?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So it's such a great question. I mean, when
Speaker 1: I first got the sides, I was just like, fucking,
Speaker 1: hey man, I just have some like insight into what
Speaker 1: season three is like. I was just excited to.
Speaker 5: Like just to have like ten pages of like.
Speaker 3: His brain, you know.
Speaker 1: And then once I got the role, you get them
Speaker 1: all eight episodes in your inbox. You get to binge
Speaker 1: read this show. And I remember my husband and I
Speaker 1: and the kids we were. We got it right before
Speaker 1: Christmas break twenty twenty three, I guess because we were
Speaker 1: shooting twenty February twenty twenty four. So I got it
Speaker 1: right as we were going to Australia and I was like,
Speaker 1: there's no way I'm going to sleep on this flight
Speaker 1: to night flight. I was like, I'm just gonna stay off.
Speaker 1: And I read all eight episodes and I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, it man, he has done it again. Like
Speaker 1: the guy is g He writes every single scene and
Speaker 1: every single character is so complicated, in layered in ooey
Speaker 1: and gooey and cringey, like all of these things.
Speaker 5: And you don't know.
Speaker 1: Where it's going, Like you think you know where it's going,
Speaker 1: and then you just don't know where it's going and
Speaker 1: you get to the end and it's like, holy shit,
Speaker 1: you know I get to do this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well okay, So when you are portraying this character,
Speaker 2: knowing how it ends has to impact your performance, right
Speaker 2: or does it?
Speaker 3: Or do you play it?
Speaker 2: Because there's so many misleads on the show, so like,
Speaker 2: how do you play that? Is that something you work
Speaker 2: with with Mike, Like, obviously your character is going in
Speaker 2: a direction. We don't know what's going on with your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Seemingly he's unavailable, who knows what he's up to, and
Speaker 2: you're lashing out in the last episode when you and
Speaker 2: I are speaking today, the last episode was your boyfriend
Speaker 2: didn't turn your calls or text, and then you decide
Speaker 2: to go out on the town and party blah blah
Speaker 2: blah the girls, and then you end up poking up
Speaker 2: with Carrie Kon's potential supposed love interest that you set up,
Speaker 2: that you set up and then stole from her, which
Speaker 2: is probably the best one, the most fun character to play.
Speaker 1: It's true, it's true. So basically what happens is you
Speaker 1: get all eight episodes and you shoot them so far
Speaker 1: out of sequence it's crazy. So for example, in our
Speaker 1: very first day of production, we were shooting scenes from
Speaker 1: episode one and episode eight. So that's a really really
Speaker 1: intense kind of bookend of in terms of your emotional
Speaker 1: arc and where you need to be. So you need
Speaker 1: to be, as a performer, as an actor, incredibly clear
Speaker 1: about all of the emotional beats. So that you can
Speaker 1: tap into one and tap out of one, like within
Speaker 1: hours of each other, if necessary. So the process was
Speaker 1: very much sitting down with Mike specifically once we got
Speaker 1: to Thailand, one on one each of us as actors,
Speaker 1: and said, Okay, what are the qualities in Jacqueline that
Speaker 1: you really want us to lean into, Like, what do
Speaker 1: you what is it that that you love about Jacqueline?
Speaker 1: You know, what is it that you know, like you said,
Speaker 1: are they are? Are there things that you kind of like,
Speaker 1: what are the privileges maybe that she she enjoys, you know,
Speaker 1: the things that she can kind of take advantage of
Speaker 1: in terms of her fame and things like that. So
Speaker 1: that's kind of the process and I and I think
Speaker 1: like for Jacqueline, you know, she was really excited, you know,
Speaker 1: sincerely about taking her girlfriends on vacation. I think that
Speaker 1: she feels like this is something that she wants to
Speaker 1: do to kind of rekindle this this long time friend
Speaker 1: that she's had and and she's proud to do that.
Speaker 1: And you know, these are ladies that have all kind
Speaker 1: of gone their different direction, They've made different life choices,
Speaker 1: and you know, you see in those first few episodes
Speaker 1: that there is a lot of toxic positivity going on
Speaker 1: with the gals, and you know, you see sort of
Speaker 1: that tension building within the friendship, and you know, I
Speaker 1: really loved this idea that Jacqueline is completely sincere with
Speaker 1: with with Laurie and saying, like, listen, this is a
Speaker 1: perfect week for a fling like you. You deserve this.
Speaker 1: You've got a hard life, you've been working, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things personally that she's been going through and like,
Speaker 1: this guy looks like a fling type of guy, like
Speaker 1: you should go for it. And I think, unfortunately as
Speaker 1: as the relationship, as the season progresses, we start to
Speaker 1: see the relationship in each of the gals kind of
Speaker 1: devolve really and you know, as you mentioned, you know,
Speaker 1: she's in a relationship, Jacqueline's in a relationship where she's
Speaker 1: being ignored a little bit. And listen, Jacqueline needs a
Speaker 1: lot of validation. She needs a lot of external validation.
Speaker 1: You can tell that she's like needs to be stimulated
Speaker 1: a lot. She's very kind of colorful and bright, and
Speaker 1: she was she was a butterfly to me, and somebody
Speaker 1: who's like very bright and colorful, beautiful, but just kind
Speaker 1: of just like flies in and makes a little commotion
Speaker 1: and then flies out, And butterflies have real short life spans,
Speaker 1: and so for me, I thought like as an actor,
Speaker 1: I you know, I felt like Jacqueline feels like she's
Speaker 1: got a short life span. And I don't know, like
Speaker 1: I just kept thinking like she's like a butterfly, and
Speaker 1: so I think, like she needs that stimulation, and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, she's not getting it, Like she's done
Speaker 1: with the fucking detox, you know, and the ladies kind
Speaker 1: of boring her, and she wants to get out there
Speaker 1: and like have some fun, and she goes out to
Speaker 1: kind of create some fun. For better or for worse.
Speaker 1: She's gonna get that validation uh where she needs it.
Speaker 1: And I think that at the end of that night,
Speaker 1: she just makes a really impulsive decision. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's malicious. I don't think it's manipulative, and I think
Speaker 1: it's something that she's probably going to tell the girls
Speaker 1: about the next day, Like guess who I, you know,
Speaker 1: like guess.
Speaker 3: Who I hooked right right right right. I could see
Speaker 3: that happening.
Speaker 1: That was really like that was kind of my you know,
Speaker 1: when we're talking to getting I know I've gone off
Speaker 1: on a tangent, but in terms of like creating that arc,
Speaker 1: because we shot that scene, we shot like the pool
Speaker 1: scene and the mee kind of you know, summoning Valentine
Speaker 1: to the room. We shot that like on day three.
Speaker 1: That was all but then like the party scene and
Speaker 1: the dancing scene and all that that was like six
Speaker 1: months down the road was towards the end, and then
Speaker 1: the actual dext scene happened on the very last day.
Speaker 1: I think it was the last scene that I shot,
Speaker 1: so you can see that we were all over the place.
Speaker 1: So I think it was just like this split second
Speaker 1: thing that Jacqueline's like, I'm back in bed. She probably
Speaker 1: tried to call her boyfriend again. He didn't pick up
Speaker 1: the phone, and she was like, hey, I want to
Speaker 1: I want to get laid.
Speaker 7: You know, and she's yeah, she was like, and she
Speaker 7: obviously didn't take Valentine home, so I guess like he's
Speaker 7: up for grabs, Like I think it was that, and
Speaker 7: then you know, it's not gonna fight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody's gonna fuck this guy, and he's not going
Speaker 3: to fuck himself, so I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: I don't know he might though, I mean, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's so I think I think it was just like
Speaker 1: she was just she's having fun. She hit the fuck
Speaker 1: it button, you know. Yeah, and then I think, like
Speaker 1: as as people seen as they will watch the next episode.
Speaker 1: By the time this, this particular conversation airs, is she
Speaker 1: immediately gets you know, called out on it. The next
Speaker 1: the next morning, you know, one of the girls actually
Speaker 1: sees Valentine leave. Kate actually sees Valentine leave her room,
Speaker 1: and then Kate immediately gets on it with Laurie. And
Speaker 1: what it does is it ends up being a massive betrayal.
Speaker 1: The women perceive it as a massive betrayal to them,
Speaker 1: and for Jacqueline, I think she just didn't think it
Speaker 1: was that big of a deal. And so you'll, you know,
Speaker 1: the rest of the season is sort of like is
Speaker 1: it irreparable or can they get kind of past this?
Speaker 1: And and can Jacqueline take accountability for you know, having
Speaker 1: this indiscretion with Valentine wasn't like Lorie's husband, you know
Speaker 1: was it was dude, It was the butler.
Speaker 3: I know. It's so funny. I am so much like
Speaker 3: that character.
Speaker 2: When I go on vacation, I'm just always like, oh,
Speaker 2: like even the way you talk to people who approach you, like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're so nice to them.
Speaker 3: I'm always so nice to them.
Speaker 2: But like after like the fourth or fifth time, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: we can we go.
Speaker 3: Somewhere else, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like, I mean you were left because of the elderliness
Speaker 2: of the second hotel, but yes, but just even the
Speaker 2: way you interact with them as a public, like as
Speaker 2: a famous person.
Speaker 3: It's so funny. I was like, Oh, that's me on
Speaker 3: vacation totally. I bring my friends.
Speaker 2: I fucking hook up not with astutely, not with people
Speaker 2: they're interested in.
Speaker 3: But that's what I'm up to for sure.
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly, And I think that's why. You know, listen,
Speaker 1: this is a testament to Mike White, you know, in
Speaker 1: not just our storyline or Jacqueline storyline. It's it's in
Speaker 1: all the storylines. It's all the characters. I mean, he
Speaker 1: really creates roles and characters that people relate to, like
Speaker 1: you either are that person or you know somebody who
Speaker 1: is like that. It's subtle, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And there's so much subtext in it. But I think
Speaker 1: that's like and it's universally relatable you know, it's why
Speaker 1: people all over the world are just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I so know these women or even men are like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my wife and then her friends, you know,
Speaker 1: and the Ratliffe family, like who doesn't know, like the
Speaker 1: Southern Woman that Parker Posey is playing, you know, like
Speaker 1: super privileged, and maybe fewer people who understand the incest
Speaker 1: the incestuous seeing your co show hopefully right right right,
Speaker 1: But you know, I think I think that's why people
Speaker 1: are getting a kick out of the storyline. I think
Speaker 1: specifically the ladies storyline, because I feel like it's very familiar.
Speaker 2: It's very familiar, and also it's kind of a pointer
Speaker 2: for like your future self everyone who like sees the show,
Speaker 2: Like in groups of women, it is a reminder of
Speaker 2: how to kind of honor friendships and not honor friendships
Speaker 2: the lowest common denominator to talk about people once they.
Speaker 3: Leave the room for families.
Speaker 2: For families, I think it's acceptable because the families deserve
Speaker 2: that and they've been together and it's not a choice.
Speaker 2: But when you have friends, yes, it's like it's kind
Speaker 2: of a reminder don't be like it's ick.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: It's an ick to.
Speaker 2: Talk about your friends when you're on vacation with them
Speaker 2: and they're acting. I mean, well, it's one thing to
Speaker 2: find out what's a Republican that is.
Speaker 8: That's where we need to talk about that. We need
Speaker 8: to talk about that, We need to talk about them. Okay,
Speaker 8: On that note, we're going to take a break, Michelle.
Speaker 8: We'll be right back and we're going to take some callers.
Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to
Speaker 4: hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on.
Speaker 4: And this week we're looking for questions about clear relationship issues.
Speaker 1: So if you're a queer person.
Speaker 4: And you're dating or are in a long term relationship,
Speaker 4: write in about your relationship woes at Dear Chelsea podcast
Speaker 4: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: And we're back with Michelle Vonahan. It was our quick break.
Speaker 1: But I think, like what you were saying, like it's
Speaker 1: so true, Like I think that this it holds a mirror,
Speaker 1: you know, the storyline really holds a mirror.
Speaker 9: To to women out there, the way in which we
Speaker 9: endure these sorts of relationships and the way that we
Speaker 9: also perpetuate them right by like judging ourselves so harshly,
Speaker 9: judging our friends so harshly, It's like.
Speaker 1: There is enough room for all of us to kind
Speaker 1: of celebrate each other and our you know, each other's
Speaker 1: respective sort of life's decisions, and you know successes inevitably
Speaker 1: all of our failures. And I think, like, I think
Speaker 1: the storyline really highlights that for women to kind of
Speaker 1: across the board, and it's confronting and you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of vulnerable, so and important.
Speaker 2: It's like underlining the idea that everyone is different, Like
Speaker 2: your friends are different. The reason why you're attracted to
Speaker 2: them is because you share some similarities and you share dissimilarities.
Speaker 2: But it's a reminder also we're not all the same,
Speaker 2: so don't be so judgmental or quick to go to
Speaker 2: the lowest to common denominator, which is you know, gossiping
Speaker 2: and da. It's like everyone has something to add. So
Speaker 2: it's a nice reminder to like let each other. You know,
Speaker 2: it might be less comedic, but it's nice to just
Speaker 2: like open up and let people who are different in
Speaker 2: and be like, okay, these are my friends, let me
Speaker 2: let me learn what I can grab from them, Rather
Speaker 2: than you know, consider them less.
Speaker 3: Than because they behaved it this way or that way.
Speaker 1: That's right, And I think that's why people will enjoy
Speaker 1: this second half of this season. I think that you're
Speaker 1: going to see the idea of that take place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: things have kicked off for sure. In the first couple
Speaker 1: of episodes. I'm like this is getting I'm like this
Speaker 1: is a little bit slow. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, here we go, here we go.
Speaker 3: Buckle up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then we had a com full circle.
Speaker 3: We're going to take a couple of callers now, Michelle.
Speaker 2: We give advice people real life and love it because
Speaker 2: the best advice you could get is somebody who has
Speaker 2: nothing to do with your situation.
Speaker 3: I'm a firm believer of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's what we dole out here at Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 2: say Chelsea.
Speaker 3: Lately, and I was like, where am I wrong? Shell whoop?
Speaker 4: See well, our first question is just an email, Aaron says,
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea. I am a day one Dear Chelsea, Girly,
Speaker 4: I've been listening religiously week after week since your launch.
Speaker 4: I find every single episode so relatable, helpful, and enjoy
Speaker 4: the giggles to keep me going through each Thursday. I
Speaker 4: very much identify with all of Chelsea's views on happiness,
Speaker 4: single womanhood, and no children life. I'm thirty one, successful,
Speaker 4: happy and independent. I've been dating my entire life, with
Speaker 4: a few long term relationships that always end due to
Speaker 4: falling out of love or not having the lasting connection
Speaker 4: I'm looking for. My current issue is something I've never
Speaker 4: encountered before. It's relatively low stakes, but would love your
Speaker 4: honest opinions. I started dating two guys about a month ago.
Speaker 4: Guy number one my age, a hustler, different than my
Speaker 4: normal type, but so cute, kind, care and goal oriented.
Speaker 4: He has such good energy makes me feel like I
Speaker 4: can be my silly self. I have no reservations that
Speaker 4: he would integrate well into my life, and not to
Speaker 4: mention pretty good chemistry as well. Guy number two is
Speaker 4: five years older, a hustler, but lives a much slower
Speaker 4: lifestyle and hangs out with all men in retirement fifties
Speaker 4: to seventies and golfs five days a week. We have
Speaker 4: the best sexual chemistry, cuddles and kisses I've ever experienced.
Speaker 4: We have not developed the full emotional connection yet, and
Speaker 4: I have not integrated him into my life, and I'm
Speaker 4: unsure if he will vibe with my friends. During a
Speaker 4: conversation with Guy number two about me seeing other people,
Speaker 4: I disclosed that I'm seeing others, and he said he's
Speaker 4: not interested in seeing anyone else. He doesn't want to
Speaker 4: continue dating if I'm seeing other people. I told him
Speaker 4: it's not enough time for me to tell if the
Speaker 4: emotional connection is strong enough to make a decision either way.
Speaker 4: How should I handle this? A? Should I just respect
Speaker 4: his boundaries and move on from Guy number two? B?
Speaker 4: Should I commit prematurely to Guy number two? C? Should
Speaker 4: I lie and keep them both in my lineup? Going
Speaker 4: against me? Morals slash honesty. Hopefully this is a quick
Speaker 4: and easy one to answer. Help Aaron, Interesting, very interesting?
Speaker 3: Well what was A?
Speaker 1: What was A?
Speaker 3: It was A?
Speaker 10: Was to A?
Speaker 4: Was should I respect his boundaries and just say, like,
Speaker 4: move on? You know, if, like, if you aren't okay
Speaker 4: with me dating other people, then I just have to
Speaker 4: move on?
Speaker 11: Which really is respecting the boundary.
Speaker 1: Which, yeah, I also think it reveals something else. I
Speaker 1: think if you I think A for me, it's an A.
Speaker 1: And I think what's revealed in A is Number one,
Speaker 1: you're respecting the boundaries, right, You're kind of doing the
Speaker 1: right thing. But moreover, it might actually allowing her to
Speaker 1: take a break and take making that kind of that
Speaker 1: solid break in him. Having created that boundary and her
Speaker 1: respecting it, you might walk away and like, two months
Speaker 1: down the road feel like, hey, actually I missed this guy.
Speaker 1: I miss those cuddles. I miss those snuggles. If she's
Speaker 1: kind of like in between and happen and hap out,
Speaker 1: she's not going to really know for herself what it's
Speaker 1: like to not have him in her life. So I
Speaker 1: think that's creating a nice boundary for herself to maybe
Speaker 1: kind of learn about who she really does want in
Speaker 1: her life. That makes sense, I agree.
Speaker 2: Would I'm not going to encourage anyone to be dishonest
Speaker 2: when somebody's asking for the truth. I think what you
Speaker 2: can do, in addition to a is also say, listen,
Speaker 2: I am going to continue to see other people because
Speaker 2: I do really like spending time with you. I would
Speaker 2: be willing since they have such great sexual chemistry, I
Speaker 2: would be willing to continue having sex with you, no
Speaker 2: strings attached, and we don't have to talk about a relationship.
Speaker 2: If that's what you want, like, I love that part
Speaker 2: of us, and if you're okay with that, let me know,
Speaker 2: because that's an option. And I guarantee you she will
Speaker 2: hear from him. Maybe not initially I'll say, Okay, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not interested in that. I don't want to see
Speaker 2: other people, and I don't want you to see other people.
Speaker 2: But I bet you he will call you at some
Speaker 2: point and say, oh, why don't you come over and
Speaker 2: da da And that way you have you have him
Speaker 2: for sex when you want him, and that's the part
Speaker 2: you liked about him, and you have this other guy
Speaker 2: that's a burgeoning relationship, and when that gets more serious
Speaker 2: and you want to be committed, then do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the worst thing you could do was
Speaker 4: prematurely commit, you know, because.
Speaker 3: Don't premature commit.
Speaker 2: And also you have to respect and you have to
Speaker 2: respect other people's boundaries if they're not cool with your
Speaker 2: multiple lovers and then they're.
Speaker 4: Not, Yeah, he's going to be really shocked by that though,
Speaker 4: Like I think that's the most surprising thing is he's like,
Speaker 4: this is my boundary, take it or leave it.
Speaker 3: But why is he also hanging out with retirees. I
Speaker 3: don't understand what that's about this guy.
Speaker 11: Also a little bit strikes me as maybe a dud.
Speaker 2: A thirty six year old hanging out with a bunch
Speaker 2: of retired people and plays golf five.
Speaker 5: A guy seems like a pretty good catch.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I mean, he sees like she she kind of had
Speaker 6: me with, Like I feel like myself.
Speaker 1: Around him, and like that's all we want in any relationship, right,
Speaker 1: whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship or even
Speaker 1: a work relationship, just to be able to be silly
Speaker 1: and to be yourself and to be comfortable. Like that's gold.
Speaker 11: Yeah, all right, Well, there you have it around them, solved, solved.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Our next question comes from Kim. Kim says, dear Chelsea,
Speaker 4: and Kim, by the way, is recovering from surgery right now,
Speaker 4: but she'll be joining us here on the phone. Just
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea. My name is Kim, and I just turned
Speaker 4: thirty seven and had surgery for a problematic syst along
Speaker 4: with having my tubes removed as I don't plan on
Speaker 4: having children. During my surgery, it was discovered that I
Speaker 4: have endometriosis. Despite being told over and over that I didn't.
Speaker 4: There was a great deal of endometriosis tissue that had
Speaker 4: to be removed, and the recovery was more painful than
Speaker 4: I expected. My entire life's health issues seem to now
Speaker 4: be connected to this diagnosis, from systemic inflammation that was
Speaker 4: misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia, being put on harsh drugs that resulted
Speaker 4: in me going on disability and losing my job, a
Speaker 4: spinal epidural angiogram, and incidents where I was blacking out
Speaker 4: in pain and could not comprehend why. I've been fortunate
Speaker 4: enough to work with a lymphatic doctor for several years,
Speaker 4: and I truly believe this work has saved my life
Speaker 4: on more than one occasion as a woman, seeing how
Speaker 4: absolutely horrific health care is for us and the years
Speaker 4: we go with our pain dismissed and lives destroyed. How
Speaker 4: can I advocate for other women going through this, who
Speaker 4: like me, were blindsided by a diagnosis like this and
Speaker 4: don't have the appropriate resources to improve their quality of life.
Speaker 4: Thank you again, Kim.
Speaker 2: Hi, Kim Hi Hi, so sorry to hear about all
Speaker 2: of your healths, all of this, and yes, you are
Speaker 2: not the only woman that is completely frustrated with our
Speaker 2: healthcare system, which in the immediate future.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 2: I was with someone this weekend and we were talking
Speaker 2: about this very issue with regard to healthcare, with regard
Speaker 2: to education, with regard to this administration. And she is
Speaker 2: somebody who she's like, there are so many opportunities right
Speaker 2: now because of the defunding of all of these governmental
Speaker 2: agencies that help with all of these things. There are
Speaker 2: so many opportunities for us to redefine helping other people.
Speaker 2: And I was like, Oh, that's such a great way
Speaker 2: to look at this. Like, you know, she's in mutual
Speaker 2: aid and she runs this organization about mutual aid and
Speaker 2: she's tried to codify that in the government, So like
Speaker 2: this here to me, sounds like an opportunity for you
Speaker 2: to definitely be helping other women.
Speaker 3: Also. First things first, have you had an Ablazian.
Speaker 12: No, thankfully I have not, but I did have this
Speaker 12: cyst rupture in October and got bounced around from hospital
Speaker 12: to hospital. They told me I had pancreatitis. They gave
Speaker 12: me no painment. I literally had to leave one hospital
Speaker 12: go to another hospital, and you know, the care was
Speaker 12: just horrific and I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1: They had said it was just assist.
Speaker 12: Everyone told me this wasn't endometriosis, so I had no idea.
Speaker 12: My mom had to have an Ablasian years ago, so
Speaker 12: I didn't know if this was hereditary.
Speaker 3: If this you know what it was.
Speaker 12: And it wasn't until I had this surgery and my
Speaker 12: doctor said there was endometriosis all over and we had
Speaker 12: to remove it, and that she said, that's why your
Speaker 12: recovery was so horrific, because it was just everywhere.
Speaker 11: It was just everywhere.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm bringing up an Ablacian because it sounds like
Speaker 2: something you might want.
Speaker 3: Are you planning on having children?
Speaker 12: No, but they did remove my tubes. So from here on,
Speaker 12: I don't have a follow up again Women's health care
Speaker 12: for four weeks, so I don't get to talk to
Speaker 12: my doctor until then, and at that point in time.
Speaker 1: I'll see what her thoughts are.
Speaker 12: She had told my mom, well, she'll probably need to
Speaker 12: be on a low dose birth control, and I said,
Speaker 12: you know, I don't really want to do that. Are
Speaker 12: there have to be other options for us other than
Speaker 12: just throwing us on birth control pills? And if that
Speaker 12: is my only option, then so be it. But I'd
Speaker 12: like to think that there's other resources and other things
Speaker 12: out there to help them well.
Speaker 2: First of all, First of all, an ablazion, in my opinion,
Speaker 2: would be a great thing for you to have because
Speaker 2: it stops your period for ninety nine percent of women,
Speaker 2: so then you don't have to deal with I mean,
Speaker 2: it blanches your uterus, so your uterine lining you don't have.
Speaker 3: I got one. My sister got one. I found out
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, you could stop your period and she's like, yes,
Speaker 2: you could get your uterus gorch.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I signed me fucking up.
Speaker 2: And my guynecologist was like, Chelsea, it's not really elective.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you want to make a bet.
Speaker 2: I'm like, if you don't do it for me, I'm
Speaker 2: going to go to the next guy and he'll do
Speaker 2: it for me. So she did it, and I don't
Speaker 2: get my period anymore. I mean, I'm probably going through perimenopause.
Speaker 2: I'm sure at my age because I just turned fifty.
Speaker 2: But it's been a joy. And it also like that
Speaker 2: that's half of your problems. It sounds like, so you
Speaker 2: should inquire about that. Is there a reason you don't
Speaker 2: want that?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 12: No, I had no idea that that was an elective
Speaker 12: thing either.
Speaker 1: I thought it was just you know, I have a
Speaker 1: friend that just had it done, but I had no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to do a public service announcement on
Speaker 2: my Instagram to make sure every fucking woman knows that
Speaker 2: they don't want to have children and they have bad periods.
Speaker 2: I didn't have a bad period. I just don't want
Speaker 2: my period. Why would you want your period if you're
Speaker 2: not gonna have children. Well, I mean, it doesn't affect
Speaker 2: you hormonally. It only affects your your own lining, so
Speaker 2: you don't bleed.
Speaker 4: And you know what else I just learned too, is
Speaker 4: that they can do I mean this might be a
Speaker 4: little too far for what you're experiencing, but they can
Speaker 4: do a hysterectomy but leave your ovaries so that you
Speaker 4: still have your hormones coming in, so it like doesn't
Speaker 4: throw you a media into metamahaze like I used to.
Speaker 11: So I know somebody who had that and it's all
Speaker 11: going well.
Speaker 2: But what I would say in terms of helping other women,
Speaker 2: First of all, I would be very loud about it.
Speaker 2: I think women need all the help that they can get.
Speaker 2: I would I would contact your local Planned Parenthood and
Speaker 2: have a conversation with them and see how you could
Speaker 2: be like a mouthpiece for them and figure out a
Speaker 2: way to either start a newsletter or to you know,
Speaker 2: even starting small in your community, starting or tapping into
Speaker 2: their networks or other women's networks, because right now is
Speaker 2: the time. I mean, our healthcare is very much at risk,
Speaker 2: and that's a very understood problem that we're dealing with.
Speaker 2: So I would talk to as many medical professionals. I
Speaker 2: understand that the medical community has kind of run you around,
Speaker 2: but there are good people within that community who do
Speaker 2: want want women to be more educated and know what
Speaker 2: their options are.
Speaker 3: And I've heard this story so many times.
Speaker 2: Even some of my celebrity friends have dealt with this,
Speaker 2: and you would think that they would be getting better
Speaker 2: attention from their doctors.
Speaker 3: It's not true. It's simply just not there for women.
Speaker 2: So I mean, I think it's great wanting to be
Speaker 2: an advocate for women's health, and I think there are
Speaker 2: a million ways to go about it. So I would
Speaker 2: really just start talking to everyone you know, every woman
Speaker 2: you know about what they know, and really think about
Speaker 2: using your social platforms, using like maybe you write a newsletter,
Speaker 2: maybe you connect with a women's group or multiple women's
Speaker 2: groups in your area.
Speaker 4: Or I like what you said about writing a newsletter
Speaker 4: because she's such on her previous call that she's a writer,
Speaker 4: so like maybe a substack, so like that or TikTok.
Speaker 11: I mean, yeah, I think that's great.
Speaker 4: And Michelle, I know that you have advocated for like
Speaker 4: melanoma awareness. Can you talk to us a little bit
Speaker 4: about your experiences with like getting the word out about
Speaker 4: getting checked and that sort of thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean as just becoming an advocate for your
Speaker 1: own healthcare is the best thing that you can do.
Speaker 1: I was diagnosed with melanoma about ten years ago. My
Speaker 1: husband actually found it. Fortunately I discovered it at an
Speaker 1: early stage and removed all of it and I was
Speaker 1: cancer free. But it was a huge wake up call
Speaker 1: through me because actually initially the doctor didn't even want
Speaker 1: to remove it. The doctor was like, I think it's fine.
Speaker 1: And my husband is Australian, it happens to be very
Speaker 1: well educated in what skin cancer looks like, and he
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, you need to have that
Speaker 1: biop so you need to have that removed. And I too,
Speaker 1: as an American, I had like a lack of sun sense.
Speaker 1: If you will. I had a lack of awareness kind
Speaker 1: of growing up, didn't wear a lot of sunscreen, and
Speaker 1: when I found out it was melanoma, I was actually shocked.
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize melanoma could be fatal. And so
Speaker 1: once I started doing my due diligence and really started
Speaker 1: to educate myself about the dangers of too much sun
Speaker 1: exposure and ingredients safety and wearing sunscreen and how important
Speaker 1: that is, I went, wow, like, I need to share
Speaker 1: this information because I'm learning a lot and I need
Speaker 1: to impart this not not only onto my children. You know.
Speaker 1: Simultaneously happened as I was becoming a mother, but with
Speaker 1: my friends, because I'm seeing all my friends like sitting
Speaker 1: out in the sun and not really fully grasping the
Speaker 1: dangers of the impact of what the sun can do
Speaker 1: to you. So I started, as Chelsea was just saying,
Speaker 1: you know, talking to my friends and my family about
Speaker 1: how important it is to get your skin checks and
Speaker 1: things like that. And so now I would consider my
Speaker 1: self as skin cancer advocate. And I love like every
Speaker 1: May comes around and you know, I like to shout
Speaker 1: it from the mountaintops because it's skin cancer Awareness month.
Speaker 1: But you know, the most important thing that we have
Speaker 1: as women is our ability to communicate with each other
Speaker 1: and amongst our friend groups. You know, one of the
Speaker 1: latest things is like I'm in the middle of perimenopause
Speaker 1: and I didn't even know it, and all of my
Speaker 1: symptoms were dismissed by like my GP and my action
Speaker 1: gynecologists because like I didn't have hot flashes, but like
Speaker 1: I had all these other things, And I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this. This is so weird, This is not
Speaker 1: like me to have this kind of anxiety, Like why
Speaker 1: do I have this more modal acne? Why do I feel?
Speaker 1: Why am I not sleeping? Well? All of these things?
Speaker 1: And it started with a conversation with my friends and
Speaker 1: they're like, well, I guess we're like in perimenopause because
Speaker 1: we're in our mid forties.
Speaker 5: And I was like, wait, what is this thing?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 1: And so I think that's our greatest superpower is to
Speaker 1: be able just to share the knowledge that we have
Speaker 1: and that we learn, and like we don't gatekeep on things.
Speaker 1: And I'll say, in terms of endometriosis, I have so
Speaker 1: many friends that have also endured that. And now I'm
Speaker 1: seeing the conversation a lot more. You know online and
Speaker 1: people are talking about it. I'm from Iowa and there
Speaker 1: was a great state representative that like put a bill
Speaker 1: through through the Iowa Congress to add more funding into
Speaker 1: the research of endometriosis. So even where you're at, I
Speaker 1: would look into kind of state you know, as government
Speaker 1: is defunding their folks out there that are actually as
Speaker 1: you know, Chelsea said, there's these like strong, like little
Speaker 1: coalitions that are actually trying to help people. So maybe
Speaker 1: even look into do that into just even in your
Speaker 1: local kind of policies and see if there's people out
Speaker 1: there trying to to motivate the research forward.
Speaker 2: And also, Kim, really like this is this is a
Speaker 2: huge opportunity for you, Like it is a huge opportunity
Speaker 2: to get your message out and also having real conversations
Speaker 2: with these doctors and saying, you know, it doesn't have
Speaker 2: to be confrontational, it doesn't have to be argumentative.
Speaker 3: You can just be like, listen, this information, this is
Speaker 3: not cool.
Speaker 2: There are so many women out here dealing with this problem,
Speaker 2: and you, as a medical professional need to hear from
Speaker 2: your patient that you guys need to do a better
Speaker 2: job of actually taking our concerns seriously, taking our pain
Speaker 2: seriously and really go through it with them. So as
Speaker 2: a learning moment and a teaching moment for the doctors.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is their profession and some won't be
Speaker 2: receptive to it, but I'm sure one or two will be,
Speaker 2: and you're going to kind of change the trajectory of
Speaker 2: how they treat their patients moving forward. So it is
Speaker 2: a worthwhile endeavor for sure to have these honest conversations
Speaker 2: with anybody and everybody you can.
Speaker 11: Yeah, that's huge, that's huge. Actually.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the political aspect is great too, because there
Speaker 2: are going to be representatives in your state who are
Speaker 2: very concerned with women's healthcare.
Speaker 3: So, like, get into it. It seems like a big
Speaker 3: hill to climb, but it's really not.
Speaker 2: Once you make a couple steps in the right direction,
Speaker 2: everything kind of comes together and you know they're going
Speaker 2: to be grateful for the information.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 12: I mean, so many parts of this journey have just
Speaker 12: been wild, and you know, they just dismiss your pain
Speaker 12: and tell you it's a bad period and that's it.
Speaker 12: They just knock it up to it's a bad period
Speaker 12: and you'll deal with it.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting. I just had this conversation with my
Speaker 1: daughter this past weekend. She's sixteen, and because I know
Speaker 1: that this is such a pervas issue for women, I said,
Speaker 1: let's talk about your period. Let's have a real conversation
Speaker 1: about your period, Like I want to know, like, are
Speaker 1: you having bad periods? Like what do you have cramps?
Speaker 1: So how long are your periods? Like I wanted to
Speaker 1: have an understanding because I feel like once someone gets
Speaker 1: their period, you're like, Okay, you got your period, and
Speaker 1: then the conversation ends, right, And that's part of the problem.
Speaker 1: I think like a part of the education is talking
Speaker 1: to a younger generation and saying like, this is what
Speaker 1: a real period should be and feel like, and if
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like this, then we need to know
Speaker 1: about it. Because a lot of young women start their
Speaker 1: periods but don't necessarily start seeing a guydecologist until later
Speaker 1: in their teens, and so by that time they're enduring
Speaker 1: kind of enduring this pain and these are you know,
Speaker 1: things that they just think, I guess are normal and
Speaker 1: attributed to being a woman, you know. So I think
Speaker 1: the education starts from the time that we're talking kind
Speaker 1: of about the birds and the bees, you know, and
Speaker 1: what's normal. So I think the whole narrative needs to shift.
Speaker 4: So for any dear Chelsea listeners that want to follow Kim,
Speaker 4: I'll put a link in the description, but you can
Speaker 4: just follow her on Instagram at Kim dot versus dot endo.
Speaker 4: That's at Kim dot vs dot e end o.
Speaker 1: Awesome. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: I appreciate it.
Speaker 12: I mean, my goal throughout my whole life was I
Speaker 12: don't want people, and Chelsea in your in your book
Speaker 12: he said, I don't want people to feel alone, like
Speaker 12: you're not alone. And I read that in your book
Speaker 12: and it was just like that was the That was
Speaker 12: that driving force. That's like, you know what, I'm not
Speaker 12: going to shut up and I'm not going to quiet
Speaker 12: and I'm going to talk to everyone and I'm going
Speaker 12: to do something about this. So thank you for being
Speaker 12: an inspiration and giving people like me a voice and
Speaker 12: an opportunity to try and change the world. Because without you,
Speaker 12: I wouldn't be here right now, and I wouldn't have
Speaker 12: this drive to just really change things.
Speaker 3: Really well, you would be here. You would be here
Speaker 3: without me, So let's that can be too much credit.
Speaker 1: But she makes it more fun, doesn't she.
Speaker 2: But yes, I'm I'm so happy you called in and yeah,
Speaker 2: go and run with this, okay, exactly, Yeah, make this
Speaker 2: part of your purpose in life.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 12: It is one hundred percent. Thank you all so much.
Speaker 12: I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: I can, I can nice to meet you.
Speaker 3: I can't tell you how many. I mean, obviously we're
Speaker 3: all women.
Speaker 2: We know how many women could have that have endometriosis
Speaker 2: and go on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, and go undiagnosed.
Speaker 2: I mean, I remember when Amy Schumer was pregnant, like
Speaker 2: they I don't even know what the term is for
Speaker 2: what she has where you're nauseous every day for your
Speaker 2: pregnant throughout your pregnancy.
Speaker 11: Yeah, it'll come to me.
Speaker 2: It starts with an E, but it's got about forty
Speaker 2: seven syllables.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Anyway, Yes, she didn't.
Speaker 2: Get diagnosed until, like, you know, halfway through her pregnancy,
Speaker 2: and she was vomiting every single day.
Speaker 3: Like no one ever told you that was an option.
Speaker 2: They tell you about morning sickness last the first trimester,
Speaker 2: they don't say, oh, you could also be sick for
Speaker 2: dine month straight or exactly.
Speaker 1: What it's like something grab us something I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, grav locks, that's what you put. I think
Speaker 2: that that's what you put on your bagel.
Speaker 4: Well, our next collar is lazette, and she says, Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 4: I have a fourteen year old daughter, and like everyone
Speaker 4: told me, my little girl has become a nightmare.
Speaker 3: She's a good kid with.
Speaker 1: A good hat on her shoulders, but the attitude is real.
Speaker 4: I cannot get her to help clean up around the house,
Speaker 4: the biggest issue, or clean up her bedroom or bathroom.
Speaker 4: We have a two bed, two bath condo and it's
Speaker 4: just us two. She's just so messy and I thought
Speaker 4: by this age she would get a little better, but
Speaker 4: she's just been a walking disaster. I've tried grounding her
Speaker 4: and taking away her electronic devices, but she doesn't even care.
Speaker 11: Please help, Lizette.
Speaker 1: High Lazette, Highlazette, Listen, I've got a sixteen year old daughter.
Speaker 1: It's the wet it's the towels that like really do
Speaker 1: my head in that don't like get hung up right.
Speaker 1: And then I get in the shower because we share
Speaker 1: the bathroom, and then I'm like, wait, where are all the towels?
Speaker 1: And then I go into her room and they like
Speaker 1: are scattered everywhere. But I do want to say something
Speaker 1: encouraging she's sixteen now, and this weekend we were hanging
Speaker 1: out and we were getting home and we're going to
Speaker 1: go and do something and she's like, but mommy, She's like,
Speaker 1: I want to tie you up my room first, because
Speaker 1: like my girlfriends came over last night. I mean, just
Speaker 1: like it's a disasterrous I want to tie you eat
Speaker 1: up and then I'll come down and we'll do the thing.
Speaker 1: And I was like, whoa, wow, this is crazy because
Speaker 1: at thirteen and fourteen, I just thought like I was
Speaker 1: just raising a kid that just is like going to
Speaker 1: ignore all of the things like can you just make
Speaker 1: your bed, can you just like pick up the towels? This?
Speaker 1: And that. You're in the thick of it right now.
Speaker 1: But I promise you they come out on the other side.
Speaker 1: And when they come out on the other side is
Speaker 1: when they start like hosting their friends and then they
Speaker 1: have like a boy come over because now all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, they don't want to live in a pig style.
Speaker 1: But as soon as like they start to invite other
Speaker 1: people in, they like actually really start to care about,
Speaker 1: you know, the things that kind of matter, and they
Speaker 1: realize they had to start picking up after themselves because yeah,
Speaker 1: taking away the electronics and all of that stuff, Like
Speaker 1: none of that worked for us either, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden it just switched. She just kind of
Speaker 1: matured and evolved, which is really exciting.
Speaker 2: How is she outside of her messiness just raging, hormonal?
Speaker 1: No, she's not at all. Actually, he is really like
Speaker 1: a grounded kid. And that's something also that I always
Speaker 1: want to like, I kind of want to touch on.
Speaker 1: I feel like when you are in conversation with other
Speaker 1: people and you say that like I have a teenage daughter,
Speaker 1: everybody's like, oh my god, you must be going through it.
Speaker 1: How is that? And I just want to point out
Speaker 1: that nobody says that about a teenage boy. Nobody says like,
Speaker 1: oh god, you must be going through that. I think
Speaker 1: that's such bolstit. I want to call that out and
Speaker 1: I want to stop with that narrative because I think
Speaker 1: that we're putting these things that are on realistic and
Speaker 1: not entirely true on our young daughters.
Speaker 2: I don't know, girls do seem I mean from my
Speaker 2: experience as if I am such a fucking raging bitch
Speaker 2: from the age thirteen to eighteen, Liz, how is your
Speaker 2: daughter outside of the messydess.
Speaker 3: Is she just hormonally out of whack? Like, because I
Speaker 3: do think girls at.
Speaker 2: That age are having a harder time than boys at
Speaker 2: that age. I don't think they're worse than boys. I
Speaker 2: think they are struggling more than boys do at that age.
Speaker 10: My daughter is definitely not like raging hormones or out
Speaker 10: of control. She's really grounded and.
Speaker 3: Oh it's great, very well in school. She's in a
Speaker 3: lot of activities. She's just messy.
Speaker 1: She's going to grow through that.
Speaker 4: She will, she will, And does that tell them what
Speaker 4: you told me about? Like some things she's fine at
Speaker 4: and some things she has like a panic over and
Speaker 4: a breakdown.
Speaker 10: Yeah, So, like I try to give her easy enough chores.
Speaker 10: Obviously she's learning to clean correctly still, but yeah, like
Speaker 10: if I tell her to unload the dishwasher, she has
Speaker 10: no problem with that. But if I tell her to
Speaker 10: load the dishwasher, it is a full panic attack. It's
Speaker 10: I can't do what it is. This is a huge mountdown.
Speaker 10: I don't know why you're making me do this. It's
Speaker 10: so hard, and yeah, it's just crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I feel like you already have a lot
Speaker 2: going for you in terms of her other behaviors. So
Speaker 2: I mean, if this is the worst problem and it's temporary,
Speaker 2: as Michelle has elucidated, and like, yeah, so have her
Speaker 2: unload the dishwasher instead of load it. Have her do
Speaker 2: the things she's capable of and feels good about, and
Speaker 2: she will grow out of it absolutely. And she's got
Speaker 2: all these other things going for her, like she's getting
Speaker 2: good grades. That's really the most important thing. That she's grounded.
Speaker 2: That's also the most important thing. Like those are all
Speaker 2: good qualities and not every listen. I was away with
Speaker 2: my family this weekend. My sister had a big birthday,
Speaker 2: and I went into the kitchen to try to add
Speaker 2: something to a plate, like there was all this food
Speaker 2: in this dish and it was like stripped pork, like carnitas,
Speaker 2: and I was trying to put it in the pan
Speaker 2: for my aunt who was cooking, and three of the
Speaker 2: people were like, Chelsea, don't touch anything in the kitchen.
Speaker 3: We don't want your help.
Speaker 2: Just go outside and use your strengths, which our personality
Speaker 2: and talking like that made me never. Something I'll never
Speaker 2: be able to do is anything that involves kitchen cooking.
Speaker 2: Da da da, Like I'm not good at that. I've
Speaker 2: never been good at that. It's like my brain freezes
Speaker 2: when I have to do anything that involves that.
Speaker 3: So like, give her a little bit of latitude.
Speaker 2: I know you're her mother and you don't want to
Speaker 2: be sitting around cleaning up after your daughter. But MESSI
Speaker 2: is not the worst thing in the world. And I
Speaker 2: bet you if you stop actually like trying to punish
Speaker 2: her and try and talking about it, I bet you,
Speaker 2: with out the pressure of it, she'll kind of come
Speaker 2: to it on her own at some point.
Speaker 3: Also, Yeah, it.
Speaker 4: Could also be like letting the pressure off by saying like, Okay,
Speaker 4: well you've got a choice, like do you want to
Speaker 4: load the dishwasher or vacuum the living room or something
Speaker 4: like that. So she's got a little bit more autonomy there,
Speaker 4: but she still has to like help out in the
Speaker 4: ways that you need her to help out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I also think honesty is the best policy.
Speaker 1: You Know, there are times where I just like my
Speaker 1: husband and I've sat the kids down and just be like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: we really need you to help contribute because we're really
Speaker 1: stressed out right now over this, or we're really busy,
Speaker 1: or I'm working, or Daddy's trying to get this finished.
Speaker 1: I'm really overwhelmed with work, I'm going to be traveling
Speaker 1: a lot. I really need to focus on this today,
Speaker 1: whatever you can do to kind of help get us
Speaker 1: through the day or this week, and just having that
Speaker 1: kind of communication and having that vulnerability, because I think
Speaker 1: kids like see us as I always kind of run
Speaker 1: into this problem too. I have to be really careful
Speaker 1: because I'm busy, I'm traveling a lot, and I have
Speaker 1: to be careful to like not come into the house
Speaker 1: and like if I'm just kind of passing through and
Speaker 1: like be the nagger, you know, and they can do
Speaker 1: this and do that, you know, And I want to
Speaker 1: come in and be the person that kind of uplifts
Speaker 1: them and be like hey, like wow, well done, Like
Speaker 1: you are killing it at school right now. I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of you, like, thank you so much. And I
Speaker 1: feel like in life in general, we all we all
Speaker 1: want kind of that, we all want to be tapped
Speaker 1: on the shoulder for and get that recognition for like
Speaker 1: the hard work and the things that we are doing right.
Speaker 1: And I think at the end of the day that
Speaker 1: helps build confidence and inspires us to kind of do
Speaker 1: better or try to contribute more in other areas that
Speaker 1: maybe we're not doing so much so so that might
Speaker 1: be another approach as well.
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's good, that's encouraging.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, thank you for calling in, Liz, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2: Okay, have a great day. Okay, we're going to take
Speaker 2: our last break and come back to wrap up with
Speaker 2: the Michelle bought a hat. And we're back with Michelle Monahan,
Speaker 2: most recently from White Lotus.
Speaker 3: But you've seen her a million things.
Speaker 2: She was in a mission impossible three she I didn't
Speaker 2: know you were married to an Australian guy.
Speaker 3: That's funny.
Speaker 2: I have so many Australians in my life. Australians know
Speaker 2: all about skin cancer.
Speaker 8: They know all.
Speaker 1: About skin cancer. They really do. Ozzie's are fantastic. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, they're just so loose and fun and a
Speaker 1: great sure. Yeah, I have a great sense of humor.
Speaker 2: Well, it's been such a pleasure talking to you. I
Speaker 2: hope I get to see you in person at some point.
Speaker 2: I hope we get to hang out. Well we definitely,
Speaker 2: Well you will get together with Leslie also great and
Speaker 2: best of luck. I can't wait to see all the
Speaker 2: good things that come from white Lotus for all of you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you so much. Chelsea. You rock absolutely
Speaker 1: appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Have a great day, all right, you too. Bye bye,
Speaker 3: thanks ladies, Bye bye.
Speaker 2: Do do do do Do do drum roll Catherine, please,
Speaker 2: Chelsea Handler abroad.
Speaker 3: Abroad is my European tour.
Speaker 2: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
Speaker 2: need to get the help out of this fucking country.
Speaker 3: And it's not as easy as you think.
Speaker 2: So I'm coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm
Speaker 2: coming to the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast
Speaker 2: in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
Speaker 2: New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin,
Speaker 2: Barcelona and Lisbon.
Speaker 3: I'm coming abroad.
Speaker 1: Is abroad that sounds like fun. I'm gonna go see
Speaker 1: you abroad.
Speaker 2: I know I want to go see me abroad and
Speaker 2: there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas States, April eighteenth,
Speaker 2: July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty ninth at
Speaker 2: the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
Speaker 4: Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
Speaker 4: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
Speaker 4: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
Speaker 4: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com