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Speaker 1: I just got engaged my fiance. Now he's insisting that

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Speaker 1: I convert to his religion. The old bait and switch.

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Speaker 1: I thanks Soviia. I f thirty five and my fiance,

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Speaker 1: Todd male forty one, met over a decade ago and

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Speaker 1: have a mutual friend group. We started dating last year

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Speaker 1: and got engaged last month. Generally speaking, he treats me

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Speaker 1: like a queen. He spoils me a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: appreciate it always. He's usually respectful and kind, communicative, communicative

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Speaker 1: and patient with me. Things started to change, and I

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Speaker 1: want to say it started to change once the ring

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Speaker 1: was accepted. And this comes from throwaway the hater's okay

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Speaker 1: on the best venter updates. There we go. So I

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Speaker 1: need to be clear. I don't need, I don't much

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Speaker 1: care to get married. I'm perfectly fine with not being married.

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Speaker 1: My parents are not married, but they have been in

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Speaker 1: love and together for forty years. My siblings are are

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Speaker 1: all married but one unmarried, but seemingly happy relationships each

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Speaker 1: at least five years long. Dang, But Todd is a

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Speaker 1: Christian and is is of the mind that two people

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Speaker 1: eventually need to get married to be happy. We talked

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Speaker 1: about it at length before both before we were a

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Speaker 1: couple and after we started dating. I was clear that

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Speaker 1: I don't want or kneed a ring, but if it's

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Speaker 1: important to a partner I come to love, then whatever,

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Speaker 1: I will do a small wedding. He was overjoyed when

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Speaker 1: he proposed and said and I said yes in front

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Speaker 1: of pretty much everyone in our little world, but later

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Speaker 1: said that I didn't seem excited enough and it felt

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Speaker 1: like I didn't want to marry him. I mean she did.

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Speaker 1: She did say she's basically neutral.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's Switzerland.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's true.

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Speaker 2: She's my favorite jets Day two Day two, Day two

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Speaker 2: saying joke, that's my favorite joke. I've said it multiple times.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I have said I love him and if he

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Speaker 1: wants a marriage, then sure, But to say I want

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Speaker 1: to marry I mean, I know he wants to and

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Speaker 1: if that's what he wants and says, it doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: to me either way. The math was easy. Yeah, let's

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Speaker 1: get married. I said it sort of jokingly to lighten

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Speaker 1: the mood, but he didn't like that at all, and

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Speaker 1: nearly every other day he would find a way to

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Speaker 1: ask me if I really wanted to marry him or

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Speaker 1: he would simply say that he feels like I don't.

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Speaker 1: I suggested couple's therapy, as it seems to be really

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Speaker 1: on his mind and troubling him. A good idea. Uh,

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Speaker 1: And he said he's done therapy before and doesn't need

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Speaker 1: to do it again. My guy, you do. I've already

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Speaker 1: got my driver's license, saw him, a certified therapyse man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, now that I'm eighty years old, I don't need

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Speaker 2: to get another. I don't need to re up that

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Speaker 2: driver's last year.

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Speaker 3: I've already done it.

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Speaker 2: Just because my eyes aren't the way they used to

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Speaker 2: be doesn't mean I have to do it again.

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Speaker 1: I may have got her acts, but I like the

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Speaker 1: way it looks cool.

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Speaker 2: It's too valid.

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Speaker 1: Then last week, on our usual date night, he said

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Speaker 1: he had something really big to ask me. Call it

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Speaker 1: a favor if that makes it better, and he asked

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Speaker 1: me to come to his church and get baptized. I

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Speaker 1: stared at him, right was like, hold on, hold on,

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Speaker 1: hold on, wait a minute. I am an atheist and

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Speaker 1: have been since I was in my mid twenties. He

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Speaker 1: has known that for years, and we've both been respectful

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Speaker 1: of each other's beliefs.

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Speaker 2: I think that they he might have been respectful, but

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Speaker 2: now that marriage is a thing, he's like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: want my partner, Well, I want one, I want my

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Speaker 2: partner to get married to me, and two I want

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Speaker 2: them to be in the same religion now that we're

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Speaker 2: gonna marry. You know, like I think the marriage thing

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Speaker 2: has kind of changed him a little bit.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it hasn't fully entered this yet, but it's

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Speaker 1: entering the territory of like the super nice sweetheart until

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Speaker 1: there's a ring of marriage, and then it's like the

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Speaker 1: switch at happens. Not saying that's happened yet, but it's

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Speaker 1: we're trending that very way. Yeah, it could get there.

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Speaker 1: Baptism is supposed to be sacred and with a true

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Speaker 1: heart for the faith, and I simply would be a

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Speaker 1: liar if I said that I wanted to live for

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Speaker 1: his God, because frankly I don't. That is such a Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like, hey, like it's this. It shows to me

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Speaker 1: that she actually respects.

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Speaker 2: She's I don't want to just do it because you

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Speaker 2: told me to. I want to do it because I

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Speaker 2: actually believe in this religion and it's important to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, to me, it communicates her respect. Yeah for that,

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Speaker 1: which is cool. He argued that it's just a splash

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Speaker 1: of water and some words.

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Speaker 2: No, but that's not true. And if you were true

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Speaker 2: to your religion, you would know that it's a huge deal.

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Speaker 1: And since he wants it to be before our wedding,

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Speaker 1: and I, quote unquote don't care about religion either way,

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Speaker 1: this should be easy.

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Speaker 2: He's which is totally differenttally different.

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Speaker 1: I refused, again, explaining that I do care about my religion.

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Speaker 1: My majors were word, relig and anthropology. I care a lot,

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Speaker 1: and it would be dishonest to his God and our

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Speaker 1: community for me to dedicate my life to his religion

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Speaker 1: outwardly but not inwardly. I said. It felt disrespectful to

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Speaker 1: his faith and the people who truly live it. He

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Speaker 1: got angry with me, Oh, so you're okay with disrespecting

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Speaker 1: me though.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're annoying, Like, where.

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Speaker 1: Was this in the beginning of relationship? While that way?

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Speaker 2: What's up with the switch up?

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Speaker 1: And when I asked what he meant, he said to

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Speaker 1: just drop it and change the subjects. I pressed more,

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Speaker 1: but he raised his voice. I said, drop it. Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: what a healthy way to communicate with your partner loud enough.

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Speaker 3: Not a freaking dog man, not a dog.

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Speaker 1: Hey, drop it. He's been robotic around me since days

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Speaker 1: up in his study all night, sleeps on his study couch,

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Speaker 1: goes to every service and event gathering at his church.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be so religious, you'll see to the

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Speaker 2: amount of religious.

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Speaker 1: So religious, I'm gonna become a pastor, and then I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna become the phn a priest, and then I can't

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Speaker 1: marry you. Well, Francis, Oh my God, which is most weekday,

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Speaker 1: nights and Saturday morning as well as Sunday. Bro bros

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Speaker 1: Bro is working for God at this point and has

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Speaker 1: been inviting me to every single one. He hadn't done

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Speaker 1: that since we started dating. Uh, And he did it then,

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Speaker 1: And I said, I respect his beliefs, and we'll go

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Speaker 1: to something like a wedding or a christening or a baptism,

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Speaker 1: but not a simple service or event. When he asked

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Speaker 1: me just a few minutes ago tonight, I reminded him

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Speaker 1: of the above, and he just dropped into our couch

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Speaker 1: and stopped.

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Speaker 2: Oh my God.

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Speaker 1: And when I've went over to comfort him and talked

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Speaker 1: to him, he pushed me away and left muttering something

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Speaker 1: about running late for the service.

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Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait. So he's like he's come to

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Speaker 2: the service with me, and she's like, no, we already

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Speaker 2: talked about this, and he's like, I have to go

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Speaker 2: to the service, babe.

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Speaker 1: I'm at I'm on my path and becoming the Pope.

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Speaker 3: I can't miss this for you.

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Speaker 1: Look what you made me do?

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Speaker 3: Boy?

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Speaker 1: Sure? Well, his sister esther text name, religious name, true

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Speaker 1: shout out texted me to ask what happened, and I

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Speaker 1: gave a brief summary and she texted back that I'm

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Speaker 1: being a jerk and one service isn't going to make

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Speaker 1: me burst into flames, and it's important to talk. So

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Speaker 1: am I being a bonehead? Am I crazy to think

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Speaker 1: that this pressure is a deal breaker? I do love him,

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Speaker 1: but this version of him is not only a stranger

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Speaker 1: to me, but a weight on me. But aren't people

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Speaker 1: supposed to work through this hard crap to get on

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Speaker 1: in a relationship?

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Speaker 2: No, well, this is not the time, this is no,

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Speaker 2: this is if this is a deal breaker, it's not

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Speaker 2: a relationship is not about changing who your partner is. Fundamentally. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it is about finding common ground totally, and when you

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Speaker 2: do have issues. It's about trying to find compromise, but

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Speaker 2: not about their like intrinsic like if this is a

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Speaker 2: thing that you can't get over, don't get into relationship

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Speaker 2: with them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this isn't like change O, Hey can we go

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Speaker 1: to my favorite restaurant for date night tonight?

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Speaker 2: Or even like, hey, I need you to help clean

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Speaker 2: up around the house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this is like.

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Speaker 2: This is like the like religion is like a fundamental

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Speaker 2: part of people.

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Speaker 1: Could you could you change your entire life?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You know, could you just like do that? At it

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Speaker 1: to the update, He texted me a few minutes ago,

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Speaker 1: saying when he gets home, he wants to have a

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Speaker 1: serious talk, as serious as God. That was me as

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Speaker 1: God as my witness. I explained that my best friend

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Speaker 1: is over, so I'll have so it will have to wait,

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Speaker 1: and he replied, no, tell her to leave, give her

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Speaker 1: my love.

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Speaker 3: But this period she's like no, no, tell.

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Speaker 2: Her to leave. Let her know that I love her

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Speaker 2: family and I hope that she's doing well, but tell

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Speaker 2: her to leave. Good guy, you're such a baby, little baby.

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Speaker 2: Why don't you freaking leave your service because it's important

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Speaker 2: to you and this is her.

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Speaker 1: If you love Jesus so much mine to marry him.

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Speaker 1: Oh man. I talked to my bestie Bessie female thirty

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Speaker 1: five and read some of the comments here and told

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Speaker 1: him no, indeed, no, indeed, he can come home. He

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Speaker 1: can go home to his parents, and he is welcome

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Speaker 1: to come in and pack a bag and leave, because

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Speaker 1: bess is here for me right now and I need

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Speaker 1: her here for me right now. He hasn't responded. We

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Speaker 1: have an edit coming up? Break up right now? Yes

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Speaker 1: or not?

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Speaker 2: I think so break up. I think he's being really aggressive, yes,

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Speaker 2: and controlling about something they've already had a conversation about,

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Speaker 2: and he is changing up also deriving from her accepting

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Speaker 2: his marriage, but not you know, being as excited about

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Speaker 2: marriage in general as him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like he's like taking this other thing

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Speaker 1: yeah to like, which is so funny because it's like

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Speaker 1: it's almost like it if you obviously should never do this,

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Speaker 1: but if you're going to pick a thing to go

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Speaker 1: crazy about, at least make it the actual issue at hand,

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Speaker 1: and you know, something that she's at least like on

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Speaker 1: board with, versus something that's total I don't know. This

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Speaker 1: whole thing is so man Logesica is never a president

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Speaker 1: in these types of scenarios.

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Speaker 3: No no, no no no no.

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Speaker 1: Edit to respond to things that have come up a lot,

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Speaker 1: either in messages or comments. He has never raised a

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Speaker 1: hand to me. He would never. And if it's not uh,

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Speaker 1: and if it's not for the reason I used to think, uh,

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Speaker 1: that he's not a jerk, it would at least be

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Speaker 1: because I am a military bratch.

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Speaker 2: So if you're saying like he would never, he would

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Speaker 2: as I beat him up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you think you think he could come from me?

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Speaker 2: You think you can play.

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Speaker 1: So not only am I trained to defend myself well,

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Speaker 1: but my parents would not take nine. If you catch

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Speaker 1: my drift. A lot of people have brought up kids.

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Speaker 1: I can't get pregnant. I did want kids, and then

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Speaker 1: this happened. So now I am the So now I

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Speaker 1: am okay with the idea of not having any. He

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Speaker 1: said he is okay with that too, and we talked

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Speaker 1: about just being dog rescue people. I have a sneaking

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Speaker 1: suspicion this would be the next thing on his head.

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Speaker 2: I was sneaking a suspicion that he's not okay with this.

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Speaker 1: My father likes him. My author, a pastor, loves the guy,

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Speaker 1: but no, I haven't told him about this yet. He

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Speaker 1: is non denominational and goes to a quote unquote megachurch

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Speaker 1: in our state. Literally thousands of people know. It is

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Speaker 1: not a requirement for marriage at his church for me

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Speaker 1: to birt. And the consensus on the story was that

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Speaker 1: OP was not the a hole. And the consensus in

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Speaker 1: our poll right now is one hundred percent break up,

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Speaker 1: break up, leave the scenario. Okay, now we have an

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Speaker 1: update coming up. But yeah, we're all in agreement here,

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Speaker 1: literally one hundred p second census to break up agreed?

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Speaker 2: What more is there?

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Speaker 1: What was there to say from us? But OP has some.

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Speaker 2: More, Op, He's got a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: Got some stuff on your mind? So update. Last week

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Speaker 1: I posted about a problem between myself, female thirty five

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Speaker 1: and my fiance Todd Todd, male forty one, because despite

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Speaker 1: having been respectful of each other's beliefs until now he

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Speaker 1: is Chris and I'm an atheist, he now wants me

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Speaker 1: to get baptized. It came to a head and he

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Speaker 1: stormed out, so I called my bff to keep you company.

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Speaker 1: Since that was pretty sad and emotional. I do a

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Speaker 1: lot for him and best, the best of the BFF

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Speaker 1: and a lot of you here helped me to see

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Speaker 1: that the relationship as is either needs to have some

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Speaker 1: serious changes to it or it needs to end logical logical,

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Speaker 1: but logic is hard to cling to when your heart broken.

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Speaker 1: Oh Chi, I think, Siri play logical by Olivia Rodrigo. Ooh,

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Speaker 1: play heartbroken by logic. I think I already knew he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't change anything for me. Oh man, that's yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Know he just suspects you to change everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like she's talking about like he

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Speaker 1: said he would not press her like all this time,

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Speaker 1: Like deep down she knew.

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Speaker 2: That, you knew it was just coming.

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Speaker 1: That stuff, especially when he like did it for so long,

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Speaker 1: and now is just when she's ready to kind of

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Speaker 1: carry kind of make a full compromise, but kind of

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Speaker 1: compromise to do the wedding, you know, for she's doing

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Speaker 1: for him, make it happy. You know. I did text

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Speaker 1: him that night that he needs to go back to

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Speaker 1: his parents' house. The house we live in is mine.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh, and then I needed space. Are we ready

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Speaker 1: to get an eviction?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yes? He and his sister gave his parents an alternate

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Speaker 1: version of events because they came by that night anyways,

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Speaker 1: all of them, his mom, dad, sister, esther, and him.

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Speaker 1: He had a key, so he just walked in as

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Speaker 1: best and I were drinking on the couch watching Netflix.

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Speaker 1: Oh listen you whine and wine in Netflix. Time that

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Speaker 1: all interrupt not the time to barge g in, sir.

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Speaker 1: I asked what he was doing here, and his family

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Speaker 1: came into the room behind him. I asked, what's going

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Speaker 1: on the way he looked at me is unexplainable. But

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Speaker 1: his mom pushed by him and just yanked me into

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Speaker 1: a very aggressive hug. His mom did, yeah, like like

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Speaker 1: something is like like just like, don't leave, don't leave.

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Speaker 1: She said that they were here to talk as a

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Speaker 1: family and have a family meeting. Not about you, mama.

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Speaker 1: Last time I checked, Mama, I wasn't getting married.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Ow.

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Speaker 1: I smacked my hand on the Why is there not

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Speaker 1: a protective cover of this microphone? That was painful?

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Speaker 2: Just push it?

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Speaker 3: Ah there good good.

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Speaker 1: I'm just being your baby like todd o God, and

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Speaker 1: then told Bess that she needed to leave.

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Speaker 2: Why is everyone keep trying to kick me out?

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Speaker 1: You leave, you leave, you leave?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, refuse yes, stand on business because his.

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00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 1: Mom turns to me and asks me to have best leave.

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Speaker 1: It's like, hey, leave, you won't know, Hey make your leave, Like, dude,

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Speaker 1: what are we doing here? I refuse. It's late and

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00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm not a state to talk to anyone else. Please

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00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 1: leave now, you guys leave. It devolves into passive aggressive

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Speaker 1: disapproval that I won't take guidance from the man I

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Speaker 1: plan to marry.

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Speaker 2: Gwidance.

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Speaker 1: Gididance?

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Speaker 2: What guidance?

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Speaker 1: What guidance here? I mean, what are we talking about here?

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Speaker 1: His parents, his father is a pastor, sat down to

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Speaker 1: give me what I felt was like a whole pre

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Speaker 1: plane spiel about how how I am an adult and

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Speaker 1: I need to act like one. Oh really, and kicking

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Speaker 1: a man out of his home for quote unquote doing

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Speaker 1: the right thing is a tantrum.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty subjective, this right thing. Brother

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Speaker 2: brother man, brother in Christ saying his dad.

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Speaker 1: Once even said that he is so disappointed with me,

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Speaker 1: and he will be telling my father, also a pastor,

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Speaker 1: about this.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell my father about this.

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Speaker 1: Get out of my Yeah, I'm sorry. Like yes, getting

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Speaker 1: married or just being in a super long term com

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Speaker 1: in a relationship. We are family, but uh, this is not.

328
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Speaker 1: But I am married to you.

329
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Speaker 2: I ain't married to you. In the eyes of the law,

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Speaker 2: that's right, and in the eyes of God, you aren't.

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Speaker 1: My family got him. Uh gotta be honest. I was

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Speaker 1: dumbfounded for eighty five percent of this and then finally

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00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,720
Speaker 1: I guess it was the boost started to laugh aha,

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00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 1: and then told him to get out, get out of here.

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Speaker 1: His dad refused and called me volatile and suggested I

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Speaker 1: get counseling. Dude. I told him that this is my

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Speaker 1: house and I will call the police to get them

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Speaker 1: that f out. Yes, the first time I cussed in

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Speaker 1: front of them, pearls were clutched.

340
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Speaker 3: Word.

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Speaker 1: I was called trashy and Bess held her phone like, okay,

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00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,119
Speaker 1: I'm calling the cops. She asked you to leave. I

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Speaker 1: heard his dad say, you're not marrying that.

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00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can agree on that.

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00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 1: First we've agreed on As they left, and they muttered

346
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 1: other hurtful things while making a whole thing of them

347
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 1: being sad and disappointed by me. They left. Finally, someone leaves, please.

348
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 1: Todd packed a bag and left with them. He continued

349
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 1: to text me invice to his services. It'll help you

350
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 1: it'll cleanse your soul, stating that he's concerned about me

351
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 1: and the path that I'm choosing. You're taking a walk

352
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Speaker 1: with the devil, sweetheart.

353
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Speaker 2: You're taking a walk with the divil in That's a

354
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Speaker 2: long road, one.

355
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Speaker 1: Place I don't want your sweet, petite little feet to

356
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 1: have to go through that. He said that his parents

357
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 1: aren't sure he should marry me, but he loves me

358
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,439
Speaker 1: and once what's best for me. I told him I

359
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: need space and to leave me alone, but he kept texting.

360
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 1: I said that the wedding is off finally, and Sunday,

361
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: when I got home from running errands, he was on the.

362
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 2: Porch ry be O Peas throwing a tantrum.

363
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 1: He had a handwritten letter that he wanted to read

364
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 1: to me, but I said absolutely not and told him

365
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 1: to go away. He kept asking me to think about

366
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: what I'm doing and how my choices affect more than

367
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 1: just myself, and more you know who else might honder

368
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 1: whose actions affect someone else? And more like say, a

369
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,560
Speaker 1: best friend, anyone we can think of Sophia like anyone

370
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: in the whole wide world. God. I pointed to the

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00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: doorbell cam over there, and I said, I have footage

372
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 1: of me repeatedly asking him to leave, and Best was

373
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: recording the night his parents and sister ganged up on me.

374
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 1: Go away. Yeah, I just gotta realize when it is

375
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: the time to.

376
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 2: Realize, real lies, real eyes.

377
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: WHOA got him? He threw his hand up like he

378
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: was going to strike me.

379
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 2: WHOA not very man of God, of you?

380
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 1: And I just screamed. I didn't even mean to. It

381
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: was so sudden, and it just scared me. He went

382
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 1: starting to apologize, but a neighbor came out to see

383
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 1: what was happening, and he just left.

384
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 2: And you know what they say.

385
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 1: I've texted him to never come back. Ever, he's no

386
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: longer welcome. I will mail his stuff to his parents,

387
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 1: but he is no longer welcome on my property ever.

388
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: And again, to clarify this is seemingly legally her you know.

389
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 1: Let you know, he tried to apologize, but I no

390
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: longer care to hear any of his words. Uh he did.

391
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,119
Speaker 1: He did leave his written letter and I have just

392
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,919
Speaker 1: read it, so it was best. She keeps telling me

393
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: it's just a manipulation, but it just breaks shut out.

394
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 1: Best got out Best, And you know what in fairness

395
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 1: like Opie still seems she's like, you know, get out

396
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: of my life, but she's still Yeah, it was.

397
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 2: A long relationship.

398
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: That's this long relationship that she was literally like willing

399
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 1: to marry him bec though she didn't really care to.

400
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: Is over. I mean, that's that's heart break.

401
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 2: It's a big deal.

402
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 1: The locks get changed tomorrow. Bess is helping me pack

403
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: his crap, his father is picking up his stuff tonight,

404
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: and I am just sitting here replaying the past week

405
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 1: and a half in my head over and over. I

406
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 1: know it's pathetic, but I'm shattered. It's not pathetic. That's

407
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 1: not pathetic at all. That I haven't been able to

408
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: really sleep yet. I feel like I don't even reside

409
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: in my own body anymore, just going through the motions.

410
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: Best is staying with me. Also shout out to Bess. Literally,

411
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 1: Bess has been a absolute champion.

412
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 2: Shouldes.

413
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: I've been getting text and social media comments about how

414
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: disgusting I am. Like my notification just went insane over

415
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 1: the weekend. This is just a nightmare and I'm not

416
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: even sure I want to wade through this.

417
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 2: That's horrible.

418
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: That is absolutely really just block all of these people.

419
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: Seems like Hobby revealed his true colors, and they were ugly.

420
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,199
Speaker 2: They were ugly colors.

421
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: They were very, very ugly, your true colors.

422
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 2: How's that song going? Fine?

423
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 3: And they're ugly?

424
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,919
Speaker 1: Yep, that's exactly how it goes.

425
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: That's how the song goes. But that is the end

426
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 2: of that story.

427
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,719
Speaker 4: This is an episode from deep within the Archives.

428
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 1: Time for okop relash. I'm just frustrated. I don't care

429
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: if you have cancer, Dad, I don't want to help you.

430
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: And here's why. Yeah, Dad, I don't need this problem anymore.

431
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: So hopefully the cancer is terminal. Guse, I'm done dealing

432
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 1: with you.

433
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 2: Are you?

434
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 1: Are you predicting a whole?

435
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 4: I'm gonna predict not a just because, like title is crazy.

436
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: We get hit with the switchers.

437
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 4: I think we're gonna hit the switch real.

438
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 1: My dad left us and started a new family when

439
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: I was fourteen. This had a profound impact on myself

440
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: and my family. I can imagine life as a child

441
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: of a single parent was as hard as you can imagine.

442
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: The government benefits were hardly enough to support three children.

443
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: We lived below the poverty line. My mom also developed

444
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: a drinking problem.

445
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 4: Oh God, that's so rough.

446
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: I started working as soon as I legally could to

447
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: help the finances. I sacrificed my childhood so that way

448
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: there was electricity and gas in the house. Wow, I

449
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: mean that is so much for a child.

450
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 4: I wonder what is happening with like the dad, Like

451
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 4: is you off here taking vacations to the Caymans?

452
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: Literally like okay, you have another family, just send some money,

453
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 1: like you don't even have to be involved, just like,

454
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: don't let us the child support. That's a good question.

455
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: I started failing at school and paid out of my

456
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: own pocket to hire a tutor. I went to university locally,

457
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: even though I had better offers elsewhere. I have good

458
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: and stable career. Now my family lives with me, but

459
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: I feel like they are not respecting me. Recently, my

460
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 1: dad got in touch with my younger sister through Facebook.

461
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: She met up with him and brought him back to

462
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: my home. He didn't apologize for the pain he put

463
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 1: me through. He made it all about himself and tried

464
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: to gain sympathy with his plight. AM either a hole

465
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: for not caring or wanting him in my life. I

466
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: told him to leave. My mother and sister tried to

467
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: defend him. We got into an argument and I have

468
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 1: threatened to evict my own family. Wow, we have not

469
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: talked for days and my home has become hostile. What

470
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 1: should I do? Sam? We do have an update? What

471
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: do you think of this far?

472
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 4: I mean, it sounds like Opie's father wasn't a father

473
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 4: and so it's basically a stranger, Like not only was

474
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 4: the father not there, but like actively did nothing when

475
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 4: Ope and their family were suffering.

476
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 1: Onto the update, you guys are right. I can't force

477
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: my family to accept my views of no contact with

478
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: my father. I resent this man so much. I can't

479
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: stand the sight of him. After I posted yesterday, I

480
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: was invited to have dinner with my family to know

481
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 1: in surprise, my dad and his new family were there.

482
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing it seems like they literally like haven't

483
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 1: met them maybe or like been in contact at all.

484
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 4: So literally from like like now, it's like even more strangers.

485
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: In the house. Already it would have been crazy, but

486
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 1: now you've thrown the fact that he has cancer. I

487
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: picked out two of the most expensive dishes on the

488
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: menu and we had a chat.

489
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 4: So he has money, then we know he has money

490
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 4: if he can pay for like the expensive things on

491
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 4: the menu.

492
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 1: And this is also like both families eating, so it's

493
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: like this could be hundreds of dollars a one thousand

494
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 1: dollars bill potentially. I heard his thoughts on the matter

495
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: of being an absent father, but I didn't bring up

496
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 1: any of our hardships. My mother and sister made more

497
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: attempts to make me forgive him, So now it seems

498
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: like there's some sort of at least admission of being

499
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 1: an absent father. I did. I forgave him, really, Oh,

500
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: he forgives him, but that doesn't mean I need to

501
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: have a relationship with him anymore. Again, my family protested

502
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: that I'm being cruel and heartless. I'm not many people

503
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: will survive with cancer, and his lung cancer is in

504
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: the early stages. I told them I would not be

505
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: present at any family events if he was there. My

506
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: sister shouted at me, claiming, he's our dad. You a hole, Yes,

507
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 1: he is, to which I replied that he needs to

508
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 1: take over his responsibilities as a father. I told them

509
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 1: that I had canceled the tendency on the house and

510
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: we need to move out by the end of the month.

511
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 1: So I'm guessing op is like moving the whole family,

512
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 1: like her or her mom or sister out of the house.

513
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: My sisters need to return the iPhones that are on

514
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: contract as I'm canceling those driving lessons will be canceled.

515
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: Gym memberships will be canceled. Wa, so is OPI paying

516
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: for everything Opie did say they were providing Wow, even

517
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 1: still to this day for the mom as well. Subscription

518
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: services will be canceled and everything else that I pay for.

519
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 4: Op He's going in.

520
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: These are Dad's responsibilities. Now I ate my dinner and

521
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,439
Speaker 1: left them with the bill as a little act of

522
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: petty revenge.

523
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 4: Shang bro Op.

524
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: He is really going in. Not mince and words or

525
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 1: action over here. I've been staying with my girlfriend and

526
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: have not answered any text or calls from them. I

527
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: need a break. I'm done. I'm done taking over dad's role.

528
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: I'm done with the financial responsibilities or acting like the parent.

529
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five and I need to live my own

530
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: life now. I don't think this will burn Bridges. It's

531
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: just a wake up call for them. I'm not going

532
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,719
Speaker 1: to ghost or abandon them. They need to become independent.

533
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: Now I'm reading all of your comments. I know I've

534
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: acted like a jerk. I just need some time to

535
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: collect my thoughts and I might update later. Ladies and gentlemen,

536
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 1: please tell us what you think. This is kind of

537
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: a doozy. Was Opie the a hole or not? Was

538
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: the dad the a hole or not? Let us know

539
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: and why? In the comments Sam the breakdown, what do

540
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: you think?

541
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 4: I think the dad is the a hole, but less

542
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 4: of an a hole for wanting to reconnect with his

543
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 4: kids before, you know, with with cancer, So it was

544
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 4: a hole less of an a hole because of those actions.

545
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 1: Trying to make amends. It sounds like he did admit

546
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: to being an absent father.

547
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 4: I completely understand Opie wanting to take a step back

548
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: from all of those responsibilities. I don't think the a hole,

549
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 4: but they're not the angel either. I think the only

550
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 4: real a hole here is the dad in the past.

551
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: I think everyone's doing their best in the story on us.

552
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

553
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: Now at this point, now with everyone coming together, I

554
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: think everyone is trying to do their best.

555
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

556
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,239
Speaker 4: I don't think anyone's an a hole here.

557
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: Actually, Oh no, a holes in sight just cheeks, just cheeks.

558
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but I got a cheeky story for you next.

559
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: Oh god, slap me with it.

560
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 4: It's about some drumline chronicles and John, I know you

561
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 4: have experience with that, so let's get into it.

562
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: Oh, play it for me, m