Speaker 1: I do like that we have a day that represents love,
Speaker 1: and not only like love between like a significant other,
Speaker 1: but if not like a means that is friends. I
Speaker 1: do like that. Get a little glass of wine or
Speaker 1: a tea or whatever it is. It's going to make
Speaker 1: you happy. You can also draw back, make something very
Speaker 1: romantic for yourself. I had a boyfriend that he was horrible,
Speaker 1: never like at least a little like edible arrangement or
Speaker 1: something like hey like he it was just he was
Speaker 1: the worst. I don't know how I was with him
Speaker 1: for four and a half years. Hello, my beautiful people,
Speaker 1: thank you for tuning into this week's episode of cheek
Speaker 1: Ease and Chill. Today is going to be a themed
Speaker 1: episode ahead of Valentine's Day. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day or
Speaker 1: Valentine And you know what, not all of us have
Speaker 1: a partner to share with. And that's totally okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: So yes, I have a boyfriend right now, but some
Speaker 1: of my favorite VALENTI and say, we're spent alone or
Speaker 1: with friends or even with my sisters. So I want
Speaker 1: to dedicate today's episode to the most important kind of love,
Speaker 1: self love. I'm going to be sharing some of my
Speaker 1: favorite ways to shower yourself with love, and I might
Speaker 1: even share a couple of stories about my best and
Speaker 1: worst Valentine's Days. So let's get this episode started. This
Speaker 1: is chick ease and chill. People seem to either love
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day or hate it. I personally like, maybe I
Speaker 1: wi you know what I mean, Like it's not like
Speaker 1: something that I look forward to, like for instance, Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I want to say, like it's my
Speaker 1: least favorite holiday to be honest, but I don't mind
Speaker 1: celebrating it. Does that sound weird? I definitely don't hate it.
Speaker 1: I guess it's like the whole Valentine's Day like rush
Speaker 1: that I'm like kind of like, you know, I feel
Speaker 1: like we should celebrate love every single day, But that's
Speaker 1: just me and I think most of us do. But
Speaker 1: I do like that we have a day that represents
Speaker 1: love and not only like love between like a significant other,
Speaker 1: but if not, like I meant that is friends. I
Speaker 1: do like that. It was so cute because my mom
Speaker 1: growing up, like when we were younger, she would always
Speaker 1: send us like flowers and cars, like if she was
Speaker 1: out of town or she would make us cute little
Speaker 1: baskets and get everything from like the nine nine cent
Speaker 1: store and make us cute baskets. And she showed like
Speaker 1: us like we are her loves and she is our love,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And it was just so nice.
Speaker 1: So I'm so grateful that she did that, because it's
Speaker 1: not just like I said, about finding that one person.
Speaker 1: It's no, it's loving each other as a whole. Okay,
Speaker 1: so now that we talked about that, now let's talk
Speaker 1: about self love and ways that you can make yourself
Speaker 1: feel extra special. First of all, there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: dating yourself, you guys, there's nothing wrong with taking yourself
Speaker 1: to dinner, to the movies. I feel like it takes
Speaker 1: an extra confidence to your person to do things by
Speaker 1: yourself and mind you. For a long time, I was
Speaker 1: just afraid of being alone and listening to my own thoughts.
Speaker 1: Until I've learned, well, I've healed through therapy. I've healed
Speaker 1: a lot of things, abandonment issues, etcetera, etcetera. But I
Speaker 1: wish I would have known this in my twenties, where
Speaker 1: it's like, dude, just go to the park by yourself,
Speaker 1: like literally date yourself, like fall in love with yourself.
Speaker 1: I have gone literally on dates by myself. I have
Speaker 1: gotten dressed up, got my hair and makeup done, and
Speaker 1: I posted a picture once. It was when I was
Speaker 1: going through my divorce, and I literally got myself ready
Speaker 1: and I went to Morton's, Okay, a steakhouse, and I
Speaker 1: had a beautiful dinner by myself. People thought I was
Speaker 1: dating someone else, and I swear to you, I did
Speaker 1: not go with anyone. It was a complete date by myself.
Speaker 1: Put that on like my mother's memory, I have no
Speaker 1: reason to lie. And it felt so empowering to sit
Speaker 1: there and people, of course stared because I was looking cute.
Speaker 1: I had like a cute ass out fit, my hair,
Speaker 1: makeup was done, and I was sitting there just having
Speaker 1: a drink, having some wine by myself, had my steak,
Speaker 1: and people did stare because there was no one else
Speaker 1: by themselves. And it wasn't a special occasion. It wasn't
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. It was just a random ass day that
Speaker 1: I wanted to take myself out. I've gone to the
Speaker 1: movies by myself. It's a little harder now that you know.
Speaker 1: I'm cheeky, as I guess you could say, and I
Speaker 1: forget to be honest, Sauce. I just want to continue
Speaker 1: to do that stuff. So it's a little harder, but
Speaker 1: I still do it. Put on my beanie, that put
Speaker 1: on my hoodie. Even if I have a boyfriend. I
Speaker 1: think it's super important to still nurture that side of
Speaker 1: yourself and be okay with embracing those alone moments. So anyways,
Speaker 1: by yourself, flowers, I do that all the time, handy like,
Speaker 1: and not only that, if you feel like on Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day you don't have that person or you know, like
Speaker 1: it's hey, I'm gonna go by myself an outfit. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go buy myself a damn outfit. I want
Speaker 1: to look good. By yourself a gift. I love doing that.
Speaker 1: I love buying myself kiss I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I worked hard this week. I'm gonna go get myself
Speaker 1: something special. This year, I'm working on being a little
Speaker 1: bit more frugal. You guys all like I'm trying to
Speaker 1: like invest it, so I'm trying not to do that
Speaker 1: as much. But there's nothing wrong with splurging on yourself.
Speaker 1: You work hard, you deserve it, and it just makes
Speaker 1: you feel good, you know. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just that's my two cents. I think too many
Speaker 1: people are afraid and to like worried about finding that
Speaker 1: person that you're so worried about finding that person that
Speaker 1: you lose focus of like what's really important, like looking within.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people, a lot of us,
Speaker 1: and I include myself, we are afraid of looking within
Speaker 1: because we're afraid of hearing what it is that we
Speaker 1: need to change, what it is that we need to
Speaker 1: be better at. And I think when you have those
Speaker 1: moments of silence is when you learn the most about yourself.
Speaker 1: And you should not be embarrassed. I'm telling you. It
Speaker 1: takes a badass bitch, even a guy, to go somewhere
Speaker 1: by themselves. Like it's like, yeah, I love myself that much.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk in this bitch in this restaurant and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit here. I got this, And you never know,
Speaker 1: maybe some guys there with his friends and walks up
Speaker 1: to you. Just never know what can happen. The universe
Speaker 1: is always always working. Okay. Oh. Another thing that I
Speaker 1: love to do is if you don't want to go out,
Speaker 1: you don't have to go out, Like have a movie
Speaker 1: night by yourself watching. There's so much stuff on Netflix
Speaker 1: right now, you guys like put on your pjs as
Speaker 1: one of the things I love to do is I
Speaker 1: put on my favorite comfy pjs order like in you
Speaker 1: know now they have like these pizzas that are like
Speaker 1: heart shape. If you're like into that, I think it's cute.
Speaker 1: I would do it. I'm very like that's so me,
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean, I think like having
Speaker 1: a bottle of wine, champagne, some tequila and a pizza,
Speaker 1: watching your favorite movie and comfy as clothes. Dude, that
Speaker 1: sounds so delicious, Like, ah, do you know I might
Speaker 1: do that? Actually, that sounds really nice because it's like
Speaker 1: I like Valentine's. They don't get me wrong, but it's
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes I just want to chill, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to necessarily get dressed up all
Speaker 1: the time. I just want to like be lazy. And
Speaker 1: that's fun too. So don't I feel like you need
Speaker 1: to get dressed up and Invalentine's I gotta take a
Speaker 1: picture for Instagram. It's just as cool to take a
Speaker 1: picture and post that I'm sitting here and enjoying my
Speaker 1: couch my home, this pizza. Okay. Another thing you can
Speaker 1: do is a spawn day. Spat days are always a
Speaker 1: good idea, even if it's not like a big spat,
Speaker 1: like a big name brand type of spall, like a
Speaker 1: Burke Williams. I love Berquilliams, but like it could be
Speaker 1: like one of those like those small boutique little like
Speaker 1: massage places. I love the Asian ones. I always go
Speaker 1: to the Asian ones and it's very inexpensive and very
Speaker 1: good massages. So even like to get like an hour
Speaker 1: of just pampering yourself in that way. If you want
Speaker 1: to do a full lass spall day, then do it.
Speaker 1: That's always nice. But I think that that's another way
Speaker 1: of pampering yourself of just like putting your phone away
Speaker 1: because a lot of spats don't allow you to have
Speaker 1: your phone and just being with yourself and just sitting
Speaker 1: there in the sauna or sitting in like the jipouzy
Speaker 1: and just giving yourself that gift of a nice facial,
Speaker 1: of a massage, or maybe not even getting a massage
Speaker 1: or official just using the amenities at the spa. I
Speaker 1: love that. Sometimes they're like twenty bucks just to use
Speaker 1: the amenities. So it's like, you know, it's just like
Speaker 1: looking it. I always say that get up with it.
Speaker 1: Where there's a will, there's a way. It sounds clichet,
Speaker 1: you guys, but it's it's the truth. Or you can
Speaker 1: also draw a bath, put some like Epstein salt, relax
Speaker 1: the muscle, some like lavender oil, eucalyptus, put on some candles,
Speaker 1: like make something very romantic for yourself. Get a little
Speaker 1: glass of wine or a tea or whatever it is
Speaker 1: it's going to make you happy, and just sit there.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I just like to put like meditation music in
Speaker 1: my bathroom light some candles, put my hair up, and
Speaker 1: just sit in some warm water. That's a beautiful way
Speaker 1: of also pampering yourself and enjoying Valentine's Day and not
Speaker 1: worried about being in the rush of Valentine's Day or
Speaker 1: just any day. That's part of self love, you guys.
Speaker 1: It's not just like people think, oh, self love, it's selfish.
Speaker 1: It's just you, you, you you, you, yes, and no self love.
Speaker 1: It really starts with you. When you know how to
Speaker 1: be with yourself and love yourself and shower yourself with love,
Speaker 1: it's so much easier to give it to other people,
Speaker 1: but also with the balance of knowing, wait, I'm not
Speaker 1: giving too much of myself either. It's that balance, you guys. Everything,
Speaker 1: it's the ying and the yang of life. And I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it's just it's a game changer. So nice
Speaker 1: little bath once a week is awesome. Twice a week, relax, Like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think it's I need to do that more often. Actually,
Speaker 1: I really need to like take a bath maybe tonight.
Speaker 1: I've had, like I said earlier, I've had Galantine's Days
Speaker 1: where I've invited my friends over were all single, and
Speaker 1: I did on on the reality show. Actually, um and
Speaker 1: I had all my friends over and we had a
Speaker 1: Valentine'sday party, a Galentine's Day party, and I got up
Speaker 1: being at that and at that time there was this
Speaker 1: guy that totally broke my heart and I was, of course,
Speaker 1: between like the drinks, I was crying, but I was
Speaker 1: also hidden being at that. I was happy to be
Speaker 1: with my friends, so that was cool. And maybe through
Speaker 1: a little party, to you guys, you could have a
Speaker 1: little get together with your friends that are single, and
Speaker 1: even if they're not single, still like celebrate love, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So look it togethers are always fun. Okay.
Speaker 1: So those are just a few things that I feel
Speaker 1: you can do. If you don't have a significant other,
Speaker 1: you are your significant other. You are the best partner
Speaker 1: and the most loyal and committed partner that you're going
Speaker 1: to have for the rest of your life. Just remember that. Okay.
Speaker 1: If you know no one is going anywhere in your life,
Speaker 1: it's you, So make sure you take care of you
Speaker 1: and pamper yourself. And hopefully those things helped and you know,
Speaker 1: some ideas out there. So now I want to tell
Speaker 1: you guys about my best and worst Valentine's Day. So
Speaker 1: all my Valentine's Day, honestly, they've been pretty good. I
Speaker 1: can't necessarily pick one that's been like the best. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you because I spent a lot of Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: by myself, especially like I had a boyfriend that he
Speaker 1: was horrible, never like at least a little like edible
Speaker 1: arrangement or something like hey, like he it was just
Speaker 1: he was the worst. I don't know how. I was
Speaker 1: with him for four and a half years, so I
Speaker 1: had like that extreme of like Valentine's Day was just
Speaker 1: not important to him, and he would totally forget and
Speaker 1: just wouldn't send me anything. I had to remind him,
Speaker 1: which is super embarrassing. And then there was another guy
Speaker 1: that was like super extravagant and over the top and
Speaker 1: said it not as in a bunch of flowers, and
Speaker 1: it was nice. So yeah, I've had nice Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: alone and not alone. And my worst Valentine's Day going
Speaker 1: back to like the Galentine's Day that I had at
Speaker 1: my house, um, with my friends, it stemmed from this
Speaker 1: guy that I'm about to tell you guys, there's this
Speaker 1: guy and I want to say his name, but I
Speaker 1: was like totally head over heels for him. I was infatuated.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even love. We weren't even ever in a relationship.
Speaker 1: UM a lot older. He was like eleven years older
Speaker 1: than me. When I met him at this club, Spanish
Speaker 1: club that I would go to and I would just
Speaker 1: go there because he was like the head of security guards.
Speaker 1: And anyways, I became friends with his sister and him.
Speaker 1: You know, his sister and I are still friends actually
Speaker 1: to this day. So anyways, I was like head over
Speaker 1: heels for this guy for like two years and he
Speaker 1: would like, you know, streaming along and one ft in,
Speaker 1: one foot out, and it was like, no, I don't
Speaker 1: want a girlfriend and this and that, but I like
Speaker 1: you is that kind of thing, you know, And all
Speaker 1: while he was talking to this other girl who he's
Speaker 1: still with you guys, by the way, she's very pretty.
Speaker 1: She's younger than me. So anyways, that day that Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: I was waiting like a mensa, thinking, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's gonna like ask me for valin Time's Day. And
Speaker 1: I remember telling my mom was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: might have plans tonight, you know, he might ask me.
Speaker 1: And I was like waiting and waiting. I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's two o'clock he has and said anything.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's four p m. Hasn't said anything.
Speaker 1: And then this girl like at night. Then by that time,
Speaker 1: by like when I was like, I realized he's not
Speaker 1: going to ask me to do anything on Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: because he always was that type of guy that would
Speaker 1: like try to like call me and text me at night.
Speaker 1: It was that kind of thing, you girls, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. He was like totally total boy. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I never got a text from him if anything. He
Speaker 1: just said, like, yet that the happy Valentine's Day. I
Speaker 1: hope you have a beautiful when I was like what.
Speaker 1: So then I find out that night, like around ten pm,
Speaker 1: he had gone to dinner with a bunch of couples
Speaker 1: and took this girl. That's when I found out about
Speaker 1: this girl that he's still with. And one of the
Speaker 1: girls was like, Hey, I just want to tell you
Speaker 1: that you need to just drop this guy. He just
Speaker 1: got to dinner with all of us with this girl.
Speaker 1: I was expecting you and he got to dinner with
Speaker 1: this other girl, and I was like, oh, I was heartbroken.
Speaker 1: I was like, I cannot with my life. I just
Speaker 1: thought my whole life was just gonna like be over.
Speaker 1: It was the worst. And I found out on Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day that he had been dating this girl at the
Speaker 1: same time and they're still together. And what he told
Speaker 1: me was, you're just you know, you're older, and I
Speaker 1: want a younger girl because I want to be able
Speaker 1: to mold her, and you have great things about you.
Speaker 1: But because of course, I confronted him about it, and
Speaker 1: this is the spill that he gave me. So I
Speaker 1: was eleven years younger than him. You guys, but he
Speaker 1: still wanted someone younger than me so that he can
Speaker 1: control her. That's basically what he told me. Anyways, peace
Speaker 1: and loved to him. I know he wants this, he
Speaker 1: always will and I'm just kidding. But anyways, I was,
Speaker 1: I think the worse because it was on Valentine's. It
Speaker 1: was devastating and it hurt me for a long time,
Speaker 1: like for a year. I think I was single after
Speaker 1: that for a year, and then the next Valentine's I
Speaker 1: was still crying about it. I was just like, so
Speaker 1: it had hurt my ego so much. You guys, That's
Speaker 1: when I had the whole get together with my friends
Speaker 1: because he would still try to talk to Hi. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have a girlfriend, stop go away. But anyways, I
Speaker 1: just had to get that off my chest. So anyways,
Speaker 1: we're over that, and yeah, I just needed to share
Speaker 1: that because you guys, just like you, I'm sure a
Speaker 1: lot of us have had those moments, those weak moments,
Speaker 1: and from those moments, we learned and we grow and
Speaker 1: ain't no man ever gonna do that to me again. No,
Speaker 1: that's all I needed that one lesson. I learned my lesson. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we were talking about the best and the worst, and
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I can't really pick one of
Speaker 1: the best. But last year, last year's Valentine's Day was
Speaker 1: so freaking beautiful, you guys. It was my first Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day with Emilia and he did like this whole thing
Speaker 1: in the living room and did like made this big ball,
Speaker 1: big tree of just a bunch of roses. It was
Speaker 1: so beautiful and I'll never forget because it was like
Speaker 1: our first Valentine's Day. And I'm telling you, I'm not
Speaker 1: that girl that's like you have to do something fucking
Speaker 1: beautiful and extravagant in this whole thing for Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, I'm over that part of it.
Speaker 1: I get it. Like for a while I was that,
Speaker 1: but I'm no longer that. So anyways, I was just
Speaker 1: wasn't expecting it. It is so freaking beautiful. So now
Speaker 1: that I think about it, I'm like, I love that
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. So this year, we're gonna keep it more chill,
Speaker 1: Like we're gonna go to Fashion Week and probably do dinner.
Speaker 1: But I'm not expecting anything crazy, and I, you know what,
Speaker 1: don't feel the pressure. I personally, don't of like having
Speaker 1: to show, Oh, my partner did something huge or I
Speaker 1: did something huge, or we need to take cute little
Speaker 1: pictures for Instagram. Like that's another thing that I'm just
Speaker 1: like so over like if it happens cool. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be organic, but I do see that a lot
Speaker 1: of people plan it just for social media, and that
Speaker 1: just doesn't feel authentic to me. So I'm just more
Speaker 1: of like being authentic and whatever happens in the moment,
Speaker 1: if I feel it in my heart, I'm going to
Speaker 1: post it. If not, I'll keep it to myself. I've
Speaker 1: learned throughout the years to keep things to myself as well,
Speaker 1: to savor it a little bit more because I don't
Speaker 1: want everyone's opinions and it's just like, oh it wasn't
Speaker 1: big enough for it's too small, or it's people always
Speaker 1: have an opinion. So anyways, I don't know, maybe you
Speaker 1: guys will see I'll post something tomorrow. But any ways,
Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, this Galantine's episode,
Speaker 1: and I hope you guys all have a beautiful Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Remember it is for your friends. And yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: love is such a beautiful thing. And I hope each
Speaker 1: and every one of you have a really special one
Speaker 1: like I really really do. It doesn't matter if you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship, if things are complicated, or if you're single.
Speaker 1: You're the most important person in your life. So show
Speaker 1: yourself some love, you guys, because you deserve it. You
Speaker 1: deserve it. Keep telling yourself that I am worthy, I
Speaker 1: am receptive, I deserve it. Okay, So before we go,
Speaker 1: you know, we always end with a beautiful motivational quote.
Speaker 1: So I have a couple for you guys. First, one
Speaker 1: note to self. You don't have to be good enough
Speaker 1: for people to love you. Be good enough for yourself
Speaker 1: for you to love you. Wow, you don't have to
Speaker 1: be good enough for people to love you. Be good
Speaker 1: enough for yourself for you to love you. M M
Speaker 1: snappy snappy Okay. So one more taking care of your
Speaker 1: own means and not sacrificing your well being to please
Speaker 1: others that self love you, guys. Not settling for less
Speaker 1: than you deserve. Not settling to settle. It's a very
Speaker 1: important one. So people just getting relationships just to settle,
Speaker 1: and they stay in them to settle because they want
Speaker 1: to settle. So anyways, self love, taking care of your
Speaker 1: own needs, and not sacrificing your well being to please others.
Speaker 1: Let's play it bueno. I'm wishing you all a very
Speaker 1: happy Valentine's Day. I love you also so so much,
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to talk to you guys next week.
Speaker 1: And talking about next week, we have a very special
Speaker 1: guest on the pod and it's seriously one of my
Speaker 1: favorite episodes. You can't miss it. It's with my sister Jacqueline,
Speaker 1: so please listen to it. We cried, we laughed, it
Speaker 1: was just beautiful. So I'll see you then. Do you
Speaker 1: need advice on love of relationships, health, imas? I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to share with you that my Cheeks and Chill
Speaker 1: podcast will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll
Speaker 1: be answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to speak pipe
Speaker 1: dot com slash Cheeks and Chill Podcast and record your questions.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and the Michael da podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
Speaker 1: me chicks. That's c h I q U I s.
Speaker 1: For more podcast from My Heart, visit the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube. The pup