Speaker 1: Um, I'm just waiting for this is the this is
Speaker 1: now the recycling truck that's gonna because the other guy
Speaker 1: was just the regular trash. Thank you, Johnny, Great green, perfect, Great.
Speaker 1: There's another garbage camp. Yeah, I don't know what. He's
Speaker 1: going back the other way now. And someone's happening in
Speaker 1: my little my little community. There's a lot of trash happening.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of garbage happening. You know what. It's
Speaker 1: after the fourth of July, and that's probably You're exactly right.
Speaker 1: He's doing a double pass. It's like, Wow, people went crazy,
Speaker 1: especially since they were finally able to be so so
Speaker 1: there's lots of trash. Hello, I'm mini driver and welcome
Speaker 1: to many questions. I've always loved Prus questionnaire. It was
Speaker 1: originally an eighteenth century parlor game meant to reveal an
Speaker 1: individual's true nature. But with so many questions, there wasn't
Speaker 1: really an opportunity to expand on anything. So I took
Speaker 1: the format of Pruce questionnaire and adapted what I think
Speaker 1: are seven of the most important questions you could ever
Speaker 1: ask someone. They are when and where were you happiest?
Speaker 1: What is the quality you like least about yourself. What relationship,
Speaker 1: real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would
Speaker 1: you most like answered, What person, place, or experience has
Speaker 1: shaped you the most? What would be your last meal?
Speaker 1: And can you tell me something in your life that
Speaker 1: has grown out of a personal disaster. The more people
Speaker 1: we ask, the more we begin to see what makes
Speaker 1: us similar and what makes us individual. I've gathered a
Speaker 1: group of really remarkable people who I am honored and
Speaker 1: humbled to have had a chance to engage with. My
Speaker 1: guest today on many questions is actor, producer and director
Speaker 1: Coleman Domingo. Coleman is what I would call a connector.
Speaker 1: He connects people and ideas and moves through the world
Speaker 1: with a kind of creative joy. I sometimes imagine him
Speaker 1: like a fairy tale princess lost in the forest, where
Speaker 1: the path lights up with every step that they take,
Speaker 1: and they're followed by a gentle chorus of butterflies and birds.
Speaker 1: He is pretty incandescent. We talked about life and love,
Speaker 1: and particularly about change and how it's both a gift
Speaker 1: and a blight. I left our conversation with a smile
Speaker 1: on my face that has actually yet to recede. What person, place,
Speaker 1: or experience has most altered your life? Oh wow, I
Speaker 1: would say Francisco. I moved to San Francisco when I
Speaker 1: was twenty years old, and I thought I was moving
Speaker 1: to San Francisco to become an artist. That I became
Speaker 1: a man there. I thought I was going to become
Speaker 1: an actor. I became an artist there. It was transformative
Speaker 1: to me because I moved there. I just did redefine myself.
Speaker 1: To very honest, had a buddy who moved to San
Speaker 1: Francisco after college and he was like, Hey, I got
Speaker 1: this place in the Tendue District. It's nothing, but you
Speaker 1: know street walkers and der Alexey Navy in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1: We live in a studio, and you want to come
Speaker 1: and live in a studio with us. I'm like, absolutely,
Speaker 1: because that's what you do when you're twenty years old.
Speaker 1: You live with four other dudes in a studio apartment.
Speaker 1: And I literally slept in a closet. But it was
Speaker 1: a place where I feel like I grew the most,
Speaker 1: and I sort of redefined myself in every single way.
Speaker 1: I grew my hair out, I started to hippie drum
Speaker 1: circles and do you know Watsu and be on the
Speaker 1: beach naked. I became another version of myself. I became
Speaker 1: this weirdo artist boy. And then I got even more
Speaker 1: focused in terms of like what I believe, my intentions,
Speaker 1: where my purpose was, which was being an artist. So
Speaker 1: San Francis sco hold so much of my heart because
Speaker 1: although I grew up in Philadelphia, I feel like I
Speaker 1: was raised in San Francisco and I was there for
Speaker 1: ten years. Yeah, but in San Francisco from one to
Speaker 1: two thousand one? Wow did you become an actor? That? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I became an actor there. I had this inkling. I
Speaker 1: took a few classes at the Walmut Street Theater School
Speaker 1: and at Temple University, and then I moved to San
Speaker 1: Francisco just you know, with questions and wanted to try things.
Speaker 1: And then I started get cast, and then I had
Speaker 1: to actually learn about what I was actually doing. So
Speaker 1: my productions were my conservatory, my books, my mindster, my Stanislavski,
Speaker 1: you name it. By Udha had in respect for acting,
Speaker 1: I learned blocking by doing it, by wondering what is blocking?
Speaker 1: What are they writing on stage? So anyway, I became
Speaker 1: a theater artist in San Francisco, and I learned to
Speaker 1: respect the theater and respect craftsmanship, and you know, I
Speaker 1: was securely in the theater for you know, I would
Speaker 1: say twenty six years of my career was fully majority
Speaker 1: of arly on the stage and writing for the stage
Speaker 1: and to think, yeah, wow, Garli. I always wanted to
Speaker 1: work in the theater and I could just never get cast.
Speaker 1: I remember I lived around the corner from the Royal Court,
Speaker 1: which is this amazing theater in London. This incredible artistic
Speaker 1: director at the time of this guy called Max Stafford Clark.
Speaker 1: I literally used to go and I talked my way
Speaker 1: in through the theater and they'd be rehearsing in the
Speaker 1: studio or whatever, and I'd find my way to his
Speaker 1: office and I'd be like hello, and he'd be like yes,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I'm a local actor. I need
Speaker 1: to work. I've auditioned a hundred times. Can you give
Speaker 1: me a job? And he would look at my resume
Speaker 1: and he would go, yeah, well, you've got no theater
Speaker 1: on here, and I was like, no, I know, so
Speaker 1: we can we can get some theater on there. I
Speaker 1: used to badger him and it was so funny. I
Speaker 1: just never I don't know, what it was. I kept
Speaker 1: getting cast in television, and when you're young, you know,
Speaker 1: obviously you've got to pay the bills. You gotta do
Speaker 1: whatever comes your way. But I never got any of
Speaker 1: the theater work. I don't really have many regrets, but
Speaker 1: that is definitely one of mine, is that I've read
Speaker 1: them a million times, but I never got to play
Speaker 1: those women that I read. It's not too late, I
Speaker 1: think you never know when I don't know, maybe you've
Speaker 1: been just dating and holding this in for so long,
Speaker 1: but maybe that theatrical experience will now blossom out of
Speaker 1: you at this time. Why not you never know? I
Speaker 1: had a dream how to dream the other night. I'm
Speaker 1: not kidding. It has never been my dream to play Juliet.
Speaker 1: By the way, She's one of the least interesting women
Speaker 1: that I have wanted to play. I actually auditioned for
Speaker 1: drama school in the role of Volumnia Caria Leans his mother.
Speaker 1: So I was seventeen, playing you know, a woman in
Speaker 1: her late thirties early forties, and they were so amused.
Speaker 1: I think that's why they kind of gave me a
Speaker 1: call back. They were like, this weird child, like playing
Speaker 1: a middle aged woman with a grown up Warriors son
Speaker 1: like what I was like, I saw Judy, don't do it.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. And they were like, if you took
Speaker 1: it upon yourself to think that would be a good idea.
Speaker 1: They had this dream the other night that I was
Speaker 1: playing Juliet. It was so funny and in one of
Speaker 1: the scenes with Romeo, it was actually the scene with
Speaker 1: respectfully taking poison and I sat up and went, I
Speaker 1: want to be you, I don't want to be me.
Speaker 1: Can we switch? And he said, well, yeah, but we're
Speaker 1: both still going to die. It was quite a cool dream.
Speaker 1: That is fantastic. Oh my god, Where and when were
Speaker 1: you happiest? Immediately? The first thing I think about is
Speaker 1: with my mother. I think probably sitting in the kitchen
Speaker 1: of our row home in Philadelphia around and probably doing
Speaker 1: my homework at the kitchen table while my mother is cooking.
Speaker 1: And when she would cook, like in the summer or
Speaker 1: something like that, she was cooking her bra. She was
Speaker 1: cooking her bra and her slip, and so I just thought,
Speaker 1: I don't know, that's where my mother cooks. She gets
Speaker 1: very comfortable and she usually I can see her frying
Speaker 1: chicken and she's sweating a little bit. But she's also
Speaker 1: teaching me. She loved that I was curious about how
Speaker 1: she did things in the kitchen and something about that
Speaker 1: just with a mother's love and the kids and my
Speaker 1: mother always just she was just a real cool, fun
Speaker 1: sweet woman. She's no longer with us, and I'm not
Speaker 1: someone to angelicize someone, but my mother was really awesome.
Speaker 1: She was funny and fun and interesting and always curious
Speaker 1: and inspiring me to be curious as well. So, you know,
Speaker 1: late seventies ear ladies, sitting in the kitchen with my mom.
Speaker 1: Do you think those are the corner stones of happiness
Speaker 1: for you, which is comfort and homeliness and feeling safe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think many. That's why I tend to have people
Speaker 1: over to any apartment or house that I've ever had.
Speaker 1: I'm always the hub. People know that I will have
Speaker 1: a dinner party just because come over for dinner. I
Speaker 1: love to feed people. Have a beautiful garden pool, and
Speaker 1: I want people over enjoying it at all times, because
Speaker 1: I think that's what maybe I was taught, that you
Speaker 1: share these things, you always have a sense of love
Speaker 1: and comfort in safety people. I love that It's so
Speaker 1: funny because you'd invited us over on July four, and
Speaker 1: I wish I could have got there, because your your
Speaker 1: home does look absolutely spectacular. It looks like it's set
Speaker 1: up for you to never leave it, you know what. Listen,
Speaker 1: we're the second owners after the first owners built the house,
Speaker 1: and it was built by a Jewish doctor and his
Speaker 1: wife in nine and he built it to be the
Speaker 1: house that he's in forever. And he was until he
Speaker 1: was ill and his wife was ill, and then the
Speaker 1: house went to the children, and then they finally sold
Speaker 1: it to us. And I feel, honestly like the caretaker
Speaker 1: of the house. I feel less like, oh, I bought
Speaker 1: a house and we made it our own. But I
Speaker 1: felt like I wanted to love this house because you
Speaker 1: could tell it was loved. You couldn't feel it. When
Speaker 1: anyone comes over to the house, they're like, oh, no
Speaker 1: one ever wants to leave. By the way my party
Speaker 1: it started out, I was like, we have an afternoon hang.
Speaker 1: It started at two o'clock and I didn't endle two
Speaker 1: thirty in the morning. Oh my god, I wish we'd come.
Speaker 1: It's that house, I'm telling you, And it happens consistently.
Speaker 1: I'm just say, no one ever wants to leave my house.
Speaker 1: I want people to feel loved, and so I'm like,
Speaker 1: take a nap, there, go jump in the pool, there,
Speaker 1: go use this what, there's lotions, whatever you whatever you need,
Speaker 1: the house is open for you. You know, it's a
Speaker 1: very particular thing being a host, and there is a
Speaker 1: huge amount of generosity. And I must say that's what
Speaker 1: I think of when I think of you as an actor.
Speaker 1: Thank you, generosity. Being part of a cast or collection
Speaker 1: of actors. It's such a particular mindset, you know, it's wild.
Speaker 1: I think I've always approached what we do many as
Speaker 1: a service job, that we truly are in service. And
Speaker 1: I think those routes started in the theater, where it's
Speaker 1: like I knew the task, I knew what the assignment was,
Speaker 1: which was to be in service to the audience, to
Speaker 1: be in service to the story, being service to what
Speaker 1: we're creating, To not come in with any preconceived notions,
Speaker 1: but do as much as I can and then see
Speaker 1: what I bring to the table, and then welcome what
Speaker 1: someone else brings in. To be honest, if I know
Speaker 1: one good thing about myself, I may not be the
Speaker 1: best at many things, but I know I'm a good host.
Speaker 1: And I know that. That's why I become a director,
Speaker 1: because I know how to throw a good party. I
Speaker 1: think there's skills of yours that you need. You're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I know my parties are good because I
Speaker 1: know about the music. Who did invite? Why to invite them?
Speaker 1: The kind of vibe. I'm curating the whole thing, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm leading the vision and then just welcoming what
Speaker 1: everyone brings to it, like bring something, bring a cake,
Speaker 1: bring nothing, bringing babens to but bring something that is
Speaker 1: going to help generate this huge, I don't know, epic
Speaker 1: experiment of communication and love. That's why I invited you, guys.
Speaker 1: I felt like I knew what you would bring and
Speaker 1: whatever that is, you know, I would have bought ribs
Speaker 1: and a good attitude. Oh yes, thank you for bringing ribs.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Pork ribs or beef ribs. Many porker
Speaker 1: beef pork cribs, poor cribs, same here, thank you. I'm
Speaker 1: committed to pork. I understand the deep ribs. Too big,
Speaker 1: too much, too big, and too much, too big, too
Speaker 1: gaming exactly. Yes, thank you, See many, I knew you
Speaker 1: were invited to the cookout. I'm coming to another cookout.
Speaker 1: I want to stay at a party till two thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning. That's amazing. It just kept going. I
Speaker 1: love it. I love it when the right people won't leave.
Speaker 1: It's the worst thing when the wrong people start. But
Speaker 1: then you really have only yourself to blame for having
Speaker 1: invited them in the first place. So you just talked
Speaker 1: about being able to appreciate that about yourself, which I
Speaker 1: love so much because it means that you can actually
Speaker 1: consciously add that and the things you know you like
Speaker 1: about yourself, you can consciously bring them to the things
Speaker 1: that you do in the way you move through the world.
Speaker 1: So tell me what relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love
Speaker 1: for you. I think to be honest, I just have
Speaker 1: to say my husband m Role is one of a kind.
Speaker 1: I admire him. We've been together for seventeen years and
Speaker 1: I really admire him. It's not only just about our love,
Speaker 1: but it's also about our brotherhood, about our friendship, about
Speaker 1: our patients with each other, about a stepping outside of
Speaker 1: the unit and saying what do you need? Where are you?
Speaker 1: And he's gone often saved whales and you know, turtles.
Speaker 1: He went off and they went to a turtle arm
Speaker 1: Coustoy for a month and we didn't speak to each
Speaker 1: other for a month because he was committed to this thing.
Speaker 1: I went to London for a while for six months
Speaker 1: to do a couple of plays, and his schedule would't
Speaker 1: allow him to be there, but I was like, go
Speaker 1: on your journey, trust that I'm here for you. It
Speaker 1: doesn't fracture our relationship as anything. It allows us to
Speaker 1: grow in another way that allows to be independent in
Speaker 1: some way. When we first met seventeen years ago, I've
Speaker 1: been through a couple other relationships and I was sort
Speaker 1: of exhausted with presenting the person that you want me
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship and actually denying actually who
Speaker 1: I was, and vice versa. I was like, no, so
Speaker 1: actually it became an interrogation when our first day, it
Speaker 1: was like, what are you really about? Who are you?
Speaker 1: What do you really like? What do you want? Grill
Speaker 1: want to know who you really were? Don't be afraid
Speaker 1: tell me exactly the things that you think are ugly
Speaker 1: about yourself, that are beautiful and that you hope you
Speaker 1: could be better. Because if we're really dealing with each
Speaker 1: other in that way, that's real love. I think I
Speaker 1: think I'm experiencing real love with him because it does
Speaker 1: mean we can truly be and exist and accept each
Speaker 1: other for who we are and also inspire each other
Speaker 1: to be a little different. You know, do you think
Speaker 1: that it's different like that what you just said, This
Speaker 1: is what real love is. This is what it is.
Speaker 1: I think I'm living it. Do you think it's very
Speaker 1: different to the idea that you had growing up of
Speaker 1: what love was? Because I know my love is. I
Speaker 1: can't believe it. I love this person that I am
Speaker 1: with so much, but in this way that I never
Speaker 1: thought love would be this, but it is. I always
Speaker 1: thought it was something else, and actually my previous thoughts
Speaker 1: were erroneous. It wasn't that. It is this. I agree
Speaker 1: many I agree because I think allowed times were taught
Speaker 1: that with love you have to give up something. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's about giving up. It's about like being
Speaker 1: open to shift or grow. But I think it's like
Speaker 1: I've always believed that love's available. That's something that I
Speaker 1: know that some of my friends have not thought or believed,
Speaker 1: or they come into believing all my relationship will be
Speaker 1: these things, and they have these parameters that it must
Speaker 1: be this must look like this, and like you're creating
Speaker 1: something in your own mind that doesn't exist. Because when
Speaker 1: you see that thing and you have that spark, you
Speaker 1: have to accept what is. And I think love is imperfect.
Speaker 1: You've been, you grow, you cry, you hurt, you all
Speaker 1: that stuff. But I think if there's the underpinnings of
Speaker 1: saying I'm committed to wanting to do this and explore
Speaker 1: this with you and explore grace, explore kindness, openness. Someone
Speaker 1: told me this many years ago and never forgot it.
Speaker 1: I asked this older couple what was the key to
Speaker 1: their success and they said, and I think this woe
Speaker 1: this woman. She says, you've got to be alone for
Speaker 1: the ride to know that they're going to change and
Speaker 1: it's going to have nothing to do with you. And
Speaker 1: that's okay. I think that's we have to love people, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you have to love them with loose hands.
Speaker 1: That's it. You can't be tight. I think for fear,
Speaker 1: people always think that someone's gonna leave you. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: if someone's gonna leave, they're gonna leave you. It doesn't
Speaker 1: you can't hold tight to it. You just have to
Speaker 1: invest and pour all the love and care that you
Speaker 1: can to it and trust it it will be for
Speaker 1: the time that it's supposed to be. You know, we
Speaker 1: hope things can be happily ever after. You know, we
Speaker 1: been told fairy tale. Happily ever after? Is that the truth,
Speaker 1: that's the whole? I believe that's the wish. But you know,
Speaker 1: maybe happily ever after a few years or a cup
Speaker 1: of coffee if you laughs, I don't know, or fifty years.
Speaker 1: It's really true. And we're never really asked to investigate
Speaker 1: the fairy tale, whenever asked to kind of cross examine it.
Speaker 1: I know I grew up with this idea that that
Speaker 1: is what you do. You grow up, you fall in love,
Speaker 1: that person loves you back, and then you have a baby.
Speaker 1: And that is not how my life turned out at all.
Speaker 1: I grew up, did not fall in love, had a baby,
Speaker 1: did fall in love, broke up with them, fell in
Speaker 1: love with someone else, but all the time sort of
Speaker 1: mining for the parameters of what that love is. And
Speaker 1: it's so far away from the initial idea. And you're right.
Speaker 1: You have to keep growing, you have to keep doing
Speaker 1: the personal excavation and allow your partner to do that
Speaker 1: as well. I think, yeah, because you don't even know
Speaker 1: what your family is supposed to look like exactly. I
Speaker 1: think we're set up. We're thinking what you said. You
Speaker 1: set up thinking, oh, you fall in love, you have
Speaker 1: a child, it becomes this other thing. But no one
Speaker 1: even knows that maybe you fall in love, you have
Speaker 1: a child, you don't have that love, you have another relationship,
Speaker 1: that you become best friends with, the person you made
Speaker 1: that child with, or whatever. But maybe your family is
Speaker 1: supposed to look like this whole other creation based on
Speaker 1: the actual reality that people that are involved in it,
Speaker 1: instead of some ideological thing the fairytale looming over all
Speaker 1: of us. You know. That's I'm so interested in how
Speaker 1: we how do we disseminate what other good ideas to
Speaker 1: hang onto, and what are the ones that we should
Speaker 1: really go Nah, that's not going to serve me, because
Speaker 1: you can only do it by living it, really, and
Speaker 1: then circumstance will slap you in the face and go,
Speaker 1: that was a really terrible idea to have hung on
Speaker 1: too for so many years, and now here we are, Well,
Speaker 1: that's any good drama, right, isn't it? The human condition?
Speaker 1: I think it was Marty Knots and a great show runner.
Speaker 1: She said, A great story is a great protagonist that
Speaker 1: is and committed to a wrong idea of themselves. I
Speaker 1: love that in minutes about the film or the series
Speaker 1: or something that's trying to challenge them to change. That
Speaker 1: is really good. Well. I always attached to an idea
Speaker 1: about ourselves that we have to smash and have to
Speaker 1: let go of at some point, because you have to
Speaker 1: realize how long is it serving you? Is this really
Speaker 1: serving you? Are you happy? Are you getting what you want?
Speaker 1: You're probably lucky if you get to smash it or
Speaker 1: even have the impetus to do that, because a lot
Speaker 1: of times I think people will use the quick fixes
Speaker 1: to stop feeling bad about that thing and all of
Speaker 1: the available stuff that we have in our world of consumption,
Speaker 1: various things from addictive to non addictive, but repetitive behaviors
Speaker 1: becomes such a sort of immediate way of dealing with it,
Speaker 1: rather than going question question the fundamental idea about why
Speaker 1: you want to keep doing this thing and if it
Speaker 1: serves you. I have a question for you. I think
Speaker 1: by like, say, let's say, by smashing these things many
Speaker 1: if you like, I don't know, how have you been
Speaker 1: as a person when it comes to change, terrible terrible,
Speaker 1: really terrible terrible. With change, I say to myself, if
Speaker 1: you change, change everything, I think it's a a fearlessness
Speaker 1: with that. And somehow it served me because I think
Speaker 1: I checked. All I have is my gut to trust that.
Speaker 1: So what why has it been difficult for you? You
Speaker 1: know what? Because because I actually feel exactly how you do,
Speaker 1: which is if I have a gut feeling about something,
Speaker 1: I have to act on that, and that has often
Speaker 1: meant engendering change. But the change itself I loathe. It
Speaker 1: feels unstable and terrible and like like I have seasickness
Speaker 1: and it's awful, But I have this terrible volition to
Speaker 1: do it. And I think that's one of the things,
Speaker 1: like if I could wave a magic wand and change
Speaker 1: something about myself, it would be to more readily embrace change,
Speaker 1: to to love it. Nothing in life is stasis. Nothing,
Speaker 1: Everything is cant a me moving and involved and said,
Speaker 1: get on board women, that could come on, man, get on,
Speaker 1: That's exactly it. Come on. It's so true. I remember
Speaker 1: when I moved from New York years ago and people
Speaker 1: were so like I had a rent stabilized department. I
Speaker 1: had a wonderful career in New York, and people felt like,
Speaker 1: why why do you want to leave New York? You
Speaker 1: got a rent stable and I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: you got a job in an apartment, got a job
Speaker 1: an apartment, you're working on Broad what you're doing? Shut up?
Speaker 1: But I felt like New York, like I trusted that
Speaker 1: New York was just not my vibe right then and there,
Speaker 1: I thought like, I'm not growing. I feel the winds
Speaker 1: of change coming and I've got to go with it.
Speaker 1: And so at some point I just I'll think about
Speaker 1: it for a moment. But then at some point I
Speaker 1: just cut it all off and I give up the apartment.
Speaker 1: And people are like, no one gives up a rent
Speaker 1: stabilize department. You hang onto it and until they pull
Speaker 1: it out a claud under your dead hand, you know.
Speaker 1: But I was like, I gotta go. I said, I
Speaker 1: gotta trust that there's more I gotta trust, and you know,
Speaker 1: and then I gotta rent in Los Angeles that I
Speaker 1: never would ever imagine paying for because I was kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, I was working artist, and never
Speaker 1: I just thought in a couple of working class family.
Speaker 1: I felt like Oh, we don't spend that kind of
Speaker 1: money in an apartment. But I decided to do that
Speaker 1: because I thought, let me trust the universe that the
Speaker 1: universe will provide this is what I need. And then
Speaker 1: it kept providing that. So I think maybe that too,
Speaker 1: because I've done the math of it now after living
Speaker 1: in his body for fifty one years, I've done the math,
Speaker 1: and I see that when you trust your gut, when
Speaker 1: you go with that feeling, it works out. I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm starting my own church right
Speaker 1: here on your podcast. I love it. I feel that
Speaker 1: you have a philosophy that is underwritten by New York
Speaker 1: real estate. I mean, it's a it's a pretty interesting
Speaker 1: I kind of feeling. I'm trying to figure out the
Speaker 1: name stabilize your life. Stabilize your life with from real estate,
Speaker 1: from real estate to real good vibes. There we go.
Speaker 1: That's good, perfect, I'll take it. H What question would
Speaker 1: you most like answered? Wow, that's a great question, because
Speaker 1: I think that's a question of the heart. Is there
Speaker 1: a heaven? Mm hmm? And will I truly see my
Speaker 1: loved ones again? Because you know, I've lost some really
Speaker 1: terrific people in my life. One recently, one of my
Speaker 1: dear friends are and I lost my parents. And you
Speaker 1: know what, I love? I love so deeply because I
Speaker 1: feel like I've been attracted to I don't know these dreamers,
Speaker 1: these people who believe in magic. One was my mom,
Speaker 1: lother was my dad, one of my best friends already.
Speaker 1: And you wonder if you're like, are you there? Are
Speaker 1: you in another realm Am? I just hoping and wishing
Speaker 1: and believing. But I want to know is that is
Speaker 1: that true? Do we really go to the other place?
Speaker 1: Are you watching over? Are you listening? Are you speaking
Speaker 1: to me? Are you walking with me? I wonder if knowing,
Speaker 1: would you know how when we find magical things out
Speaker 1: as people, and then there's that moment of starting to
Speaker 1: put it into practice, and it's incredible and amazing, and
Speaker 1: then pretty soon this magical thing becomes part of your
Speaker 1: daily life and it no longer becomes special and magical.
Speaker 1: It just becomes part of the cutidian. And I wonder
Speaker 1: if we just can't hold that much information and keep
Speaker 1: it as magical as it's supposed to be down here
Speaker 1: on Earth, in all of this thick vibration of being
Speaker 1: in a physical body on a planet and that that
Speaker 1: whole etheric idea like that we couldn't hold it without
Speaker 1: corrupting it in a way. Wow, I think that's very valid.
Speaker 1: As humans, we do corrupt the magic, right, we kind
Speaker 1: of do, And maybe reaching for it is better and
Speaker 1: feeling like you know, when I go and try and
Speaker 1: find my mom, I really have to feel for her.
Speaker 1: I have to let go of all of the ship
Speaker 1: that I've been thinking about in the day, and I
Speaker 1: have to connect with nature or she always used to
Speaker 1: tell me to admire the infinite sky, and I wonder
Speaker 1: if that that is as pure as it could ever be,
Speaker 1: and that if someone could tell me if there was
Speaker 1: a heaven, I probably only ruin it by it then
Speaker 1: just being another thing in my purse, just another place
Speaker 1: that you know. Kind of yeah, and you're right, because
Speaker 1: maybe I know what you're saying. Maybe I want to
Speaker 1: know because I'm reaching out towards it and it's a
Speaker 1: burning question in my heart. But it also keeps us
Speaker 1: in that realm of magic and that dimension of space
Speaker 1: and time and transcendence are the things that we don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're right, it's maybe maybe we're not supposed to
Speaker 1: know everything. Maybe that's it, and it's in the not
Speaker 1: knowing that you can actually stay connected to spirit and
Speaker 1: that if we drag it down here it wouldn't be that.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been giving it a lot of
Speaker 1: thought because my mama died quite recently, and I'm I
Speaker 1: think about all the time, actually, But I'm glad that
Speaker 1: you think about it too. I'm glad that it's one
Speaker 1: of those things that we wrestle with. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I think I don't know. I'd like to believe,
Speaker 1: as we know of people who have experienced a tremendous loss,
Speaker 1: especially mothers. I know when I lost my mother. My
Speaker 1: mother was my best friend, and when she passed, a
Speaker 1: sound came out of my body that I don't think
Speaker 1: I'll ever hear again or want to hear. It was animalistic.
Speaker 1: It felt like something that was being severed in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form. And then I think I've constantly been
Speaker 1: like like, I know and feel her presence and all
Speaker 1: that happens in the world, all the people that are
Speaker 1: sort of gentle reminders of her. I do understand that
Speaker 1: it is a thing. I guess you're not supposed to
Speaker 1: know until you do now, because I think you're supposed
Speaker 1: to have some faith that there is more. I think
Speaker 1: that's what keeps you more event forward because you know
Speaker 1: what the end is. We all know what the end is.
Speaker 1: It's very clear what the end is. It's definitive that
Speaker 1: we all will die, but there's a promise that we
Speaker 1: will live on and we will see each other again.
Speaker 1: And so I think we keep moving through space with
Speaker 1: the hope that I'm going to see that person in
Speaker 1: until I get that. I'm going to keep doing things
Speaker 1: down on this plane and hopefully making a difference, leaving
Speaker 1: some fingerprints some things, and making hopefully the spaces that
Speaker 1: we're in rich and full before it's our turn. But
Speaker 1: we want to know that when it's our turn to
Speaker 1: someone's there that you're not alone. And that's something we
Speaker 1: don't know. We just have to have faith and believe, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: And maybe that faith is what can make being here
Speaker 1: a little freer because it's like, we just get this
Speaker 1: one as far as we know. So play. Can I
Speaker 1: ask you a question, mannye? Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 1: When your mother passed, you're very close and a right, hyeah,
Speaker 1: what do you think the love goes? What do you
Speaker 1: do with that love. Good Lord. Well, the funny thing is,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it's gone anywhere. Like I feel like,
Speaker 1: in a way it has become distilled because the fact
Speaker 1: that she's not here to kind of talk about all
Speaker 1: the stuff, to all the bad stuff, all the difficult stuff,
Speaker 1: all the amazing stuff life in general, because all of
Speaker 1: that has disappeared. Really, what's been left in this kind
Speaker 1: of relief is the grace and the laughter and the humor,
Speaker 1: and all of that for me is love. And I
Speaker 1: feel it's so intensely and even though I'm I can't
Speaker 1: talk to her and tell her, I feel like that
Speaker 1: was the gift that she left me with was what
Speaker 1: survives of us is love. Like that is quite literally
Speaker 1: what survives of us is that vibration and that feeling.
Speaker 1: And to be able to give that to your children
Speaker 1: and for them to continue to feel after you're physically
Speaker 1: not here anymore, I think that's the point. It's like
Speaker 1: passing the baton. And I was explaining that to my
Speaker 1: son the other day, and I think it was really
Speaker 1: amazing being able to tell him, and I know he
Speaker 1: won't forget I have all of this love, all of
Speaker 1: this love that mom left me with. And it's so
Speaker 1: incredible to be able to tell you about that love
Speaker 1: and that when you see it, you'll know it, you'll
Speaker 1: see because you'll recognize it in you, and then you'll
Speaker 1: have it, and so it goes on, and so it
Speaker 1: goes on. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sorry you lost
Speaker 1: your mom and your dad. I mean, we all do it.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just what happens. We do, we do,
Speaker 1: and and you know it's for those who haven't, if
Speaker 1: anyone's listening out there who haven't, and I think it
Speaker 1: terrifies them knowing that if it happened, they don't know
Speaker 1: what they would do. And I'm always going to be well,
Speaker 1: you will. I a grieved and I leaned into it.
Speaker 1: My friend Melissa was the one who gave me the advice.
Speaker 1: I said, because I felt like I was such a
Speaker 1: good son. I loved being a son, I loved my parents.
Speaker 1: And she said, you're going to pour that love into
Speaker 1: everything that you do. And so I think that I
Speaker 1: know that, I I know it was a definitive moment
Speaker 1: in my life where the choice was to use that
Speaker 1: love with even more conviction, and like you're saying, to
Speaker 1: distill it to say that this is what, what purposes,
Speaker 1: what my intentions are, who I love, how I love
Speaker 1: not that not that I flitted it around, but I
Speaker 1: guess I did. I just had it was more out there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it focuses you, like that's the thing when you lose someone,
Speaker 1: even though you don't lose them, but when they are
Speaker 1: physically gone, it is so focused because you so clearly
Speaker 1: feel what it is that you felt about them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it certainly made me question all of the stuff that
Speaker 1: I gave a lot of energy to that really didn't
Speaker 1: deserve their energy and didn't need it, didn't require it.
Speaker 1: Done with that right, you can see Coleman in Zola,
Speaker 1: which is in theaters now and it's honestly the most
Speaker 1: radical and best film of the year in my opinion,
Speaker 1: maybe in many years. Run don't walk to see it,
Speaker 1: and Candyman, which is released on August the twenty seventh
Speaker 1: this year. Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me
Speaker 1: Mini Driver, supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Lavoy, Research
Speaker 1: assistant Marissa Brown. Original music Sorry Baby by Mini Driver,
Speaker 1: Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced by Me Minni Driver,
Speaker 1: special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson Addison O'Day, Lisa
Speaker 1: Castella and Annick Oppenheim at w kPr DE La Pescadore,
Speaker 1: Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech
Speaker 1: support Henry Driver