1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Um, I'm just waiting for this is the this is 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: now the recycling truck that's gonna because the other guy 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: was just the regular trash. Thank you, Johnny, Great green, perfect, Great. 4 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: There's another garbage camp. Yeah, I don't know what. He's 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: going back the other way now. And someone's happening in 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: my little my little community. There's a lot of trash happening. 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: There's a lot of garbage happening. You know what. It's 8 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: after the fourth of July, and that's probably You're exactly right. 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: He's doing a double pass. It's like, Wow, people went crazy, 10 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,599 Speaker 1: especially since they were finally able to be so so 11 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: there's lots of trash. Hello, I'm mini driver and welcome 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: to many questions. I've always loved Prus questionnaire. It was 13 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: originally an eighteenth century parlor game meant to reveal an 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: individual's true nature. But with so many questions, there wasn't 15 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: really an opportunity to expand on anything. So I took 16 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: the format of Pruce questionnaire and adapted what I think 17 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: are seven of the most important questions you could ever 18 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: ask someone. They are when and where were you happiest? 19 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: What is the quality you like least about yourself. What relationship, 20 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would 21 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: you most like answered, What person, place, or experience has 22 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: shaped you the most? What would be your last meal? 23 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: And can you tell me something in your life that 24 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: has grown out of a personal disaster. The more people 25 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 1: we ask, the more we begin to see what makes 26 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: us similar and what makes us individual. I've gathered a 27 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: group of really remarkable people who I am honored and 28 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: humbled to have had a chance to engage with. My 29 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: guest today on many questions is actor, producer and director 30 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: Coleman Domingo. Coleman is what I would call a connector. 31 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: He connects people and ideas and moves through the world 32 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: with a kind of creative joy. I sometimes imagine him 33 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: like a fairy tale princess lost in the forest, where 34 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: the path lights up with every step that they take, 35 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: and they're followed by a gentle chorus of butterflies and birds. 36 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: He is pretty incandescent. We talked about life and love, 37 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: and particularly about change and how it's both a gift 38 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: and a blight. I left our conversation with a smile 39 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: on my face that has actually yet to recede. What person, place, 40 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: or experience has most altered your life? Oh wow, I 41 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 1: would say Francisco. I moved to San Francisco when I 42 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: was twenty years old, and I thought I was moving 43 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: to San Francisco to become an artist. That I became 44 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 1: a man there. I thought I was going to become 45 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,920 Speaker 1: an actor. I became an artist there. It was transformative 46 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: to me because I moved there. I just did redefine myself. 47 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: To very honest, had a buddy who moved to San 48 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: Francisco after college and he was like, Hey, I got 49 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: this place in the Tendue District. It's nothing, but you 50 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: know street walkers and der Alexey Navy in the neighborhood. 51 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: We live in a studio, and you want to come 52 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 1: and live in a studio with us. I'm like, absolutely, 53 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,399 Speaker 1: because that's what you do when you're twenty years old. 54 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: You live with four other dudes in a studio apartment. 55 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: And I literally slept in a closet. But it was 56 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: a place where I feel like I grew the most, 57 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: and I sort of redefined myself in every single way. 58 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: I grew my hair out, I started to hippie drum 59 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: circles and do you know Watsu and be on the 60 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: beach naked. I became another version of myself. I became 61 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: this weirdo artist boy. And then I got even more 62 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: focused in terms of like what I believe, my intentions, 63 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: where my purpose was, which was being an artist. So 64 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: San Francis sco hold so much of my heart because 65 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: although I grew up in Philadelphia, I feel like I 66 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: was raised in San Francisco and I was there for 67 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: ten years. Yeah, but in San Francisco from one to 68 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: two thousand one? Wow did you become an actor? That? Yeah? 69 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 1: I became an actor there. I had this inkling. I 70 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: took a few classes at the Walmut Street Theater School 71 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: and at Temple University, and then I moved to San 72 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: Francisco just you know, with questions and wanted to try things. 73 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: And then I started get cast, and then I had 74 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: to actually learn about what I was actually doing. So 75 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 1: my productions were my conservatory, my books, my mindster, my Stanislavski, 76 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: you name it. By Udha had in respect for acting, 77 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: I learned blocking by doing it, by wondering what is blocking? 78 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: What are they writing on stage? So anyway, I became 79 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: a theater artist in San Francisco, and I learned to 80 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: respect the theater and respect craftsmanship, and you know, I 81 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: was securely in the theater for you know, I would 82 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: say twenty six years of my career was fully majority 83 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: of arly on the stage and writing for the stage 84 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: and to think, yeah, wow, Garli. I always wanted to 85 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,600 Speaker 1: work in the theater and I could just never get cast. 86 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,359 Speaker 1: I remember I lived around the corner from the Royal Court, 87 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: which is this amazing theater in London. This incredible artistic 88 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: director at the time of this guy called Max Stafford Clark. 89 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: I literally used to go and I talked my way 90 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: in through the theater and they'd be rehearsing in the 91 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: studio or whatever, and I'd find my way to his 92 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: office and I'd be like hello, and he'd be like yes, 93 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I'm a local actor. I need 94 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: to work. I've auditioned a hundred times. Can you give 95 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: me a job? And he would look at my resume 96 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: and he would go, yeah, well, you've got no theater 97 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: on here, and I was like, no, I know, so 98 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: we can we can get some theater on there. I 99 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: used to badger him and it was so funny. I 100 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: just never I don't know, what it was. I kept 101 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: getting cast in television, and when you're young, you know, 102 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: obviously you've got to pay the bills. You gotta do 103 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: whatever comes your way. But I never got any of 104 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: the theater work. I don't really have many regrets, but 105 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: that is definitely one of mine, is that I've read 106 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: them a million times, but I never got to play 107 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: those women that I read. It's not too late, I 108 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: think you never know when I don't know, maybe you've 109 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: been just dating and holding this in for so long, 110 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: but maybe that theatrical experience will now blossom out of 111 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: you at this time. Why not you never know? I 112 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,840 Speaker 1: had a dream how to dream the other night. I'm 113 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: not kidding. It has never been my dream to play Juliet. 114 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,239 Speaker 1: By the way, She's one of the least interesting women 115 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: that I have wanted to play. I actually auditioned for 116 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: drama school in the role of Volumnia Caria Leans his mother. 117 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: So I was seventeen, playing you know, a woman in 118 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: her late thirties early forties, and they were so amused. 119 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: I think that's why they kind of gave me a 120 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,559 Speaker 1: call back. They were like, this weird child, like playing 121 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 1: a middle aged woman with a grown up Warriors son 122 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: like what I was like, I saw Judy, don't do it. 123 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: It was amazing. And they were like, if you took 124 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: it upon yourself to think that would be a good idea. 125 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: They had this dream the other night that I was 126 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: playing Juliet. It was so funny and in one of 127 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: the scenes with Romeo, it was actually the scene with 128 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: respectfully taking poison and I sat up and went, I 129 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: want to be you, I don't want to be me. 130 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: Can we switch? And he said, well, yeah, but we're 131 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: both still going to die. It was quite a cool dream. 132 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: That is fantastic. Oh my god, Where and when were 133 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: you happiest? Immediately? The first thing I think about is 134 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: with my mother. I think probably sitting in the kitchen 135 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: of our row home in Philadelphia around and probably doing 136 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: my homework at the kitchen table while my mother is cooking. 137 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: And when she would cook, like in the summer or 138 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: something like that, she was cooking her bra. She was 139 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: cooking her bra and her slip, and so I just thought, 140 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, that's where my mother cooks. She gets 141 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: very comfortable and she usually I can see her frying 142 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: chicken and she's sweating a little bit. But she's also 143 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: teaching me. She loved that I was curious about how 144 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: she did things in the kitchen and something about that 145 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: just with a mother's love and the kids and my 146 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: mother always just she was just a real cool, fun 147 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: sweet woman. She's no longer with us, and I'm not 148 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: someone to angelicize someone, but my mother was really awesome. 149 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: She was funny and fun and interesting and always curious 150 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 1: and inspiring me to be curious as well. So, you know, 151 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: late seventies ear ladies, sitting in the kitchen with my mom. 152 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 1: Do you think those are the corner stones of happiness 153 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: for you, which is comfort and homeliness and feeling safe. Yeah, 154 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: I think many. That's why I tend to have people 155 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: over to any apartment or house that I've ever had. 156 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: I'm always the hub. People know that I will have 157 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: a dinner party just because come over for dinner. I 158 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: love to feed people. Have a beautiful garden pool, and 159 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: I want people over enjoying it at all times, because 160 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: I think that's what maybe I was taught, that you 161 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: share these things, you always have a sense of love 162 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: and comfort in safety people. I love that It's so 163 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: funny because you'd invited us over on July four, and 164 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: I wish I could have got there, because your your 165 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: home does look absolutely spectacular. It looks like it's set 166 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: up for you to never leave it, you know what. Listen, 167 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: we're the second owners after the first owners built the house, 168 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: and it was built by a Jewish doctor and his 169 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: wife in nine and he built it to be the 170 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: house that he's in forever. And he was until he 171 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: was ill and his wife was ill, and then the 172 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: house went to the children, and then they finally sold 173 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,479 Speaker 1: it to us. And I feel, honestly like the caretaker 174 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: of the house. I feel less like, oh, I bought 175 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: a house and we made it our own. But I 176 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: felt like I wanted to love this house because you 177 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: could tell it was loved. You couldn't feel it. When 178 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,080 Speaker 1: anyone comes over to the house, they're like, oh, no 179 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: one ever wants to leave. By the way my party 180 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: it started out, I was like, we have an afternoon hang. 181 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: It started at two o'clock and I didn't endle two 182 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: thirty in the morning. Oh my god, I wish we'd come. 183 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: It's that house, I'm telling you, And it happens consistently. 184 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: I'm just say, no one ever wants to leave my house. 185 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: I want people to feel loved, and so I'm like, 186 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: take a nap, there, go jump in the pool, there, 187 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: go use this what, there's lotions, whatever you whatever you need, 188 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: the house is open for you. You know, it's a 189 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: very particular thing being a host, and there is a 190 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: huge amount of generosity. And I must say that's what 191 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: I think of when I think of you as an actor. 192 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 1: Thank you, generosity. Being part of a cast or collection 193 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,319 Speaker 1: of actors. It's such a particular mindset, you know, it's wild. 194 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: I think I've always approached what we do many as 195 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: a service job, that we truly are in service. And 196 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: I think those routes started in the theater, where it's 197 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: like I knew the task, I knew what the assignment was, 198 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: which was to be in service to the audience, to 199 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: be in service to the story, being service to what 200 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 1: we're creating, To not come in with any preconceived notions, 201 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: but do as much as I can and then see 202 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: what I bring to the table, and then welcome what 203 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 1: someone else brings in. To be honest, if I know 204 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: one good thing about myself, I may not be the 205 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: best at many things, but I know I'm a good host. 206 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: And I know that. That's why I become a director, 207 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 1: because I know how to throw a good party. I 208 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: think there's skills of yours that you need. You're like, 209 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: oh no, I know my parties are good because I 210 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: know about the music. Who did invite? Why to invite them? 211 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: The kind of vibe. I'm curating the whole thing, you know, 212 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: and I'm leading the vision and then just welcoming what 213 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: everyone brings to it, like bring something, bring a cake, 214 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: bring nothing, bringing babens to but bring something that is 215 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: going to help generate this huge, I don't know, epic 216 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: experiment of communication and love. That's why I invited you, guys. 217 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: I felt like I knew what you would bring and 218 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: whatever that is, you know, I would have bought ribs 219 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: and a good attitude. Oh yes, thank you for bringing ribs. 220 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Pork ribs or beef ribs. Many porker 221 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 1: beef pork cribs, poor cribs, same here, thank you. I'm 222 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: committed to pork. I understand the deep ribs. Too big, 223 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: too much, too big, and too much, too big, too 224 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: gaming exactly. Yes, thank you, See many, I knew you 225 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: were invited to the cookout. I'm coming to another cookout. 226 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: I want to stay at a party till two thirty 227 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: in the morning. That's amazing. It just kept going. I 228 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: love it. I love it when the right people won't leave. 229 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 1: It's the worst thing when the wrong people start. But 230 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: then you really have only yourself to blame for having 231 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: invited them in the first place. So you just talked 232 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: about being able to appreciate that about yourself, which I 233 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: love so much because it means that you can actually 234 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: consciously add that and the things you know you like 235 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: about yourself, you can consciously bring them to the things 236 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: that you do in the way you move through the world. 237 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: So tell me what relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love 238 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: for you. I think to be honest, I just have 239 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 1: to say my husband m Role is one of a kind. 240 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: I admire him. We've been together for seventeen years and 241 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: I really admire him. It's not only just about our love, 242 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 1: but it's also about our brotherhood, about our friendship, about 243 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 1: our patients with each other, about a stepping outside of 244 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: the unit and saying what do you need? Where are you? 245 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 1: And he's gone often saved whales and you know, turtles. 246 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: He went off and they went to a turtle arm 247 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: Coustoy for a month and we didn't speak to each 248 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: other for a month because he was committed to this thing. 249 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: I went to London for a while for six months 250 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 1: to do a couple of plays, and his schedule would't 251 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: allow him to be there, but I was like, go 252 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: on your journey, trust that I'm here for you. It 253 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: doesn't fracture our relationship as anything. It allows us to 254 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: grow in another way that allows to be independent in 255 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: some way. When we first met seventeen years ago, I've 256 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: been through a couple other relationships and I was sort 257 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: of exhausted with presenting the person that you want me 258 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: to be in a relationship and actually denying actually who 259 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: I was, and vice versa. I was like, no, so 260 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: actually it became an interrogation when our first day, it 261 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: was like, what are you really about? Who are you? 262 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: What do you really like? What do you want? Grill 263 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: want to know who you really were? Don't be afraid 264 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: tell me exactly the things that you think are ugly 265 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: about yourself, that are beautiful and that you hope you 266 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: could be better. Because if we're really dealing with each 267 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 1: other in that way, that's real love. I think I 268 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: think I'm experiencing real love with him because it does 269 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 1: mean we can truly be and exist and accept each 270 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: other for who we are and also inspire each other 271 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: to be a little different. You know, do you think 272 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: that it's different like that what you just said, This 273 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 1: is what real love is. This is what it is. 274 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 1: I think I'm living it. Do you think it's very 275 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: different to the idea that you had growing up of 276 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: what love was? Because I know my love is. I 277 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: can't believe it. I love this person that I am 278 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: with so much, but in this way that I never 279 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: thought love would be this, but it is. I always 280 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: thought it was something else, and actually my previous thoughts 281 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 1: were erroneous. It wasn't that. It is this. I agree 282 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: many I agree because I think allowed times were taught 283 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: that with love you have to give up something. I 284 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: don't think it's about giving up. It's about like being 285 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: open to shift or grow. But I think it's like 286 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 1: I've always believed that love's available. That's something that I 287 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: know that some of my friends have not thought or believed, 288 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: or they come into believing all my relationship will be 289 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 1: these things, and they have these parameters that it must 290 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: be this must look like this, and like you're creating 291 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: something in your own mind that doesn't exist. Because when 292 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: you see that thing and you have that spark, you 293 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: have to accept what is. And I think love is imperfect. 294 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: You've been, you grow, you cry, you hurt, you all 295 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: that stuff. But I think if there's the underpinnings of 296 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: saying I'm committed to wanting to do this and explore 297 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: this with you and explore grace, explore kindness, openness. Someone 298 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: told me this many years ago and never forgot it. 299 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: I asked this older couple what was the key to 300 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: their success and they said, and I think this woe 301 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: this woman. She says, you've got to be alone for 302 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: the ride to know that they're going to change and 303 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: it's going to have nothing to do with you. And 304 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: that's okay. I think that's we have to love people, right, 305 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you have to love them with loose hands. 306 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 1: That's it. You can't be tight. I think for fear, 307 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: people always think that someone's gonna leave you. But I'm like, 308 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: if someone's gonna leave, they're gonna leave you. It doesn't 309 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: you can't hold tight to it. You just have to 310 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: invest and pour all the love and care that you 311 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: can to it and trust it it will be for 312 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: the time that it's supposed to be. You know, we 313 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: hope things can be happily ever after. You know, we 314 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 1: been told fairy tale. Happily ever after? Is that the truth, 315 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: that's the whole? I believe that's the wish. But you know, 316 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: maybe happily ever after a few years or a cup 317 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 1: of coffee if you laughs, I don't know, or fifty years. 318 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: It's really true. And we're never really asked to investigate 319 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: the fairy tale, whenever asked to kind of cross examine it. 320 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 1: I know I grew up with this idea that that 321 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: is what you do. You grow up, you fall in love, 322 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 1: that person loves you back, and then you have a baby. 323 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: And that is not how my life turned out at all. 324 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 1: I grew up, did not fall in love, had a baby, 325 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 1: did fall in love, broke up with them, fell in 326 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: love with someone else, but all the time sort of 327 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 1: mining for the parameters of what that love is. And 328 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: it's so far away from the initial idea. And you're right. 329 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: You have to keep growing, you have to keep doing 330 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: the personal excavation and allow your partner to do that 331 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: as well. I think, yeah, because you don't even know 332 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,439 Speaker 1: what your family is supposed to look like exactly. I 333 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 1: think we're set up. We're thinking what you said. You 334 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: set up thinking, oh, you fall in love, you have 335 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: a child, it becomes this other thing. But no one 336 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: even knows that maybe you fall in love, you have 337 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: a child, you don't have that love, you have another relationship, 338 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: that you become best friends with, the person you made 339 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: that child with, or whatever. But maybe your family is 340 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,919 Speaker 1: supposed to look like this whole other creation based on 341 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: the actual reality that people that are involved in it, 342 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: instead of some ideological thing the fairytale looming over all 343 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,880 Speaker 1: of us. You know. That's I'm so interested in how 344 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: we how do we disseminate what other good ideas to 345 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: hang onto, and what are the ones that we should 346 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: really go Nah, that's not going to serve me, because 347 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,719 Speaker 1: you can only do it by living it, really, and 348 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 1: then circumstance will slap you in the face and go, 349 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: that was a really terrible idea to have hung on 350 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 1: too for so many years, and now here we are, Well, 351 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: that's any good drama, right, isn't it? The human condition? 352 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: I think it was Marty Knots and a great show runner. 353 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: She said, A great story is a great protagonist that 354 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 1: is and committed to a wrong idea of themselves. I 355 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,200 Speaker 1: love that in minutes about the film or the series 356 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: or something that's trying to challenge them to change. That 357 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 1: is really good. Well. I always attached to an idea 358 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 1: about ourselves that we have to smash and have to 359 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: let go of at some point, because you have to 360 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: realize how long is it serving you? Is this really 361 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: serving you? Are you happy? Are you getting what you want? 362 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 1: You're probably lucky if you get to smash it or 363 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: even have the impetus to do that, because a lot 364 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: of times I think people will use the quick fixes 365 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 1: to stop feeling bad about that thing and all of 366 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: the available stuff that we have in our world of consumption, 367 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: various things from addictive to non addictive, but repetitive behaviors 368 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,679 Speaker 1: becomes such a sort of immediate way of dealing with it, 369 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:53,119 Speaker 1: rather than going question question the fundamental idea about why 370 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 1: you want to keep doing this thing and if it 371 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 1: serves you. I have a question for you. I think 372 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: by like, say, let's say, by smashing these things many 373 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: if you like, I don't know, how have you been 374 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:08,199 Speaker 1: as a person when it comes to change, terrible terrible, 375 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 1: really terrible terrible. With change, I say to myself, if 376 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: you change, change everything, I think it's a a fearlessness 377 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 1: with that. And somehow it served me because I think 378 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: I checked. All I have is my gut to trust that. 379 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,199 Speaker 1: So what why has it been difficult for you? You 380 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: know what? Because because I actually feel exactly how you do, 381 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,479 Speaker 1: which is if I have a gut feeling about something, 382 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: I have to act on that, and that has often 383 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: meant engendering change. But the change itself I loathe. It 384 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: feels unstable and terrible and like like I have seasickness 385 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: and it's awful, But I have this terrible volition to 386 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: do it. And I think that's one of the things, 387 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: like if I could wave a magic wand and change 388 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,439 Speaker 1: something about myself, it would be to more readily embrace change, 389 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 1: to to love it. Nothing in life is stasis. Nothing, 390 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 1: Everything is cant a me moving and involved and said, 391 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: get on board women, that could come on, man, get on, 392 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 1: That's exactly it. Come on. It's so true. I remember 393 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: when I moved from New York years ago and people 394 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: were so like I had a rent stabilized department. I 395 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,239 Speaker 1: had a wonderful career in New York, and people felt like, 396 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: why why do you want to leave New York? You 397 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,880 Speaker 1: got a rent stable and I was like, you know what, 398 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: you got a job in an apartment, got a job 399 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: an apartment, you're working on Broad what you're doing? Shut up? 400 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,679 Speaker 1: But I felt like New York, like I trusted that 401 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 1: New York was just not my vibe right then and there, 402 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: I thought like, I'm not growing. I feel the winds 403 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 1: of change coming and I've got to go with it. 404 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 1: And so at some point I just I'll think about 405 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: it for a moment. But then at some point I 406 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: just cut it all off and I give up the apartment. 407 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: And people are like, no one gives up a rent 408 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: stabilize department. You hang onto it and until they pull 409 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 1: it out a claud under your dead hand, you know. 410 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: But I was like, I gotta go. I said, I 411 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,679 Speaker 1: gotta trust that there's more I gotta trust, and you know, 412 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: and then I gotta rent in Los Angeles that I 413 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: never would ever imagine paying for because I was kind 414 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,360 Speaker 1: of like, you know, I was working artist, and never 415 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 1: I just thought in a couple of working class family. 416 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: I felt like Oh, we don't spend that kind of 417 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 1: money in an apartment. But I decided to do that 418 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: because I thought, let me trust the universe that the 419 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 1: universe will provide this is what I need. And then 420 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: it kept providing that. So I think maybe that too, 421 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 1: because I've done the math of it now after living 422 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 1: in his body for fifty one years, I've done the math, 423 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: and I see that when you trust your gut, when 424 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 1: you go with that feeling, it works out. I feel 425 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm starting my own church right 426 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 1: here on your podcast. I love it. I feel that 427 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: you have a philosophy that is underwritten by New York 428 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 1: real estate. I mean, it's a it's a pretty interesting 429 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 1: I kind of feeling. I'm trying to figure out the 430 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 1: name stabilize your life. Stabilize your life with from real estate, 431 00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: from real estate to real good vibes. There we go. 432 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 1: That's good, perfect, I'll take it. H What question would 433 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: you most like answered? Wow, that's a great question, because 434 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: I think that's a question of the heart. Is there 435 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: a heaven? Mm hmm? And will I truly see my 436 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: loved ones again? Because you know, I've lost some really 437 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 1: terrific people in my life. One recently, one of my 438 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: dear friends are and I lost my parents. And you 439 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 1: know what, I love? I love so deeply because I 440 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: feel like I've been attracted to I don't know these dreamers, 441 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: these people who believe in magic. One was my mom, 442 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,760 Speaker 1: lother was my dad, one of my best friends already. 443 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 1: And you wonder if you're like, are you there? Are 444 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: you in another realm Am? I just hoping and wishing 445 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: and believing. But I want to know is that is 446 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: that true? Do we really go to the other place? 447 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: Are you watching over? Are you listening? Are you speaking 448 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: to me? Are you walking with me? I wonder if knowing, 449 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,920 Speaker 1: would you know how when we find magical things out 450 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: as people, and then there's that moment of starting to 451 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: put it into practice, and it's incredible and amazing, and 452 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:26,239 Speaker 1: then pretty soon this magical thing becomes part of your 453 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: daily life and it no longer becomes special and magical. 454 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: It just becomes part of the cutidian. And I wonder 455 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: if we just can't hold that much information and keep 456 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 1: it as magical as it's supposed to be down here 457 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 1: on Earth, in all of this thick vibration of being 458 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,360 Speaker 1: in a physical body on a planet and that that 459 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 1: whole etheric idea like that we couldn't hold it without 460 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: corrupting it in a way. Wow, I think that's very valid. 461 00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:01,200 Speaker 1: As humans, we do corrupt the magic, right, we kind 462 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: of do, And maybe reaching for it is better and 463 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 1: feeling like you know, when I go and try and 464 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: find my mom, I really have to feel for her. 465 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: I have to let go of all of the ship 466 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: that I've been thinking about in the day, and I 467 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: have to connect with nature or she always used to 468 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,399 Speaker 1: tell me to admire the infinite sky, and I wonder 469 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: if that that is as pure as it could ever be, 470 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 1: and that if someone could tell me if there was 471 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,160 Speaker 1: a heaven, I probably only ruin it by it then 472 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 1: just being another thing in my purse, just another place 473 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 1: that you know. Kind of yeah, and you're right, because 474 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,439 Speaker 1: maybe I know what you're saying. Maybe I want to 475 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 1: know because I'm reaching out towards it and it's a 476 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: burning question in my heart. But it also keeps us 477 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: in that realm of magic and that dimension of space 478 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: and time and transcendence are the things that we don't know. 479 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 1: Maybe you're right, it's maybe maybe we're not supposed to 480 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,399 Speaker 1: know everything. Maybe that's it, and it's in the not 481 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,199 Speaker 1: knowing that you can actually stay connected to spirit and 482 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: that if we drag it down here it wouldn't be that. 483 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been giving it a lot of 484 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 1: thought because my mama died quite recently, and I'm I 485 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: think about all the time, actually, But I'm glad that 486 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,959 Speaker 1: you think about it too. I'm glad that it's one 487 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: of those things that we wrestle with. I think, yeah, 488 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: because I think I don't know. I'd like to believe, 489 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: as we know of people who have experienced a tremendous loss, 490 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: especially mothers. I know when I lost my mother. My 491 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 1: mother was my best friend, and when she passed, a 492 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 1: sound came out of my body that I don't think 493 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: I'll ever hear again or want to hear. It was animalistic. 494 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: It felt like something that was being severed in some way, 495 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 1: shape or form. And then I think I've constantly been 496 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: like like, I know and feel her presence and all 497 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 1: that happens in the world, all the people that are 498 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: sort of gentle reminders of her. I do understand that 499 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: it is a thing. I guess you're not supposed to 500 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,199 Speaker 1: know until you do now, because I think you're supposed 501 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 1: to have some faith that there is more. I think 502 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 1: that's what keeps you more event forward because you know 503 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,439 Speaker 1: what the end is. We all know what the end is. 504 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: It's very clear what the end is. It's definitive that 505 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 1: we all will die, but there's a promise that we 506 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: will live on and we will see each other again. 507 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: And so I think we keep moving through space with 508 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 1: the hope that I'm going to see that person in 509 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 1: until I get that. I'm going to keep doing things 510 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: down on this plane and hopefully making a difference, leaving 511 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: some fingerprints some things, and making hopefully the spaces that 512 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 1: we're in rich and full before it's our turn. But 513 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: we want to know that when it's our turn to 514 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 1: someone's there that you're not alone. And that's something we 515 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,159 Speaker 1: don't know. We just have to have faith and believe, yeah, exactly, 516 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 1: And maybe that faith is what can make being here 517 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: a little freer because it's like, we just get this 518 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: one as far as we know. So play. Can I 519 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: ask you a question, mannye? Can I ask you a question? 520 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: When your mother passed, you're very close and a right, hyeah, 521 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: what do you think the love goes? What do you 522 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 1: do with that love. Good Lord. Well, the funny thing is, 523 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,440 Speaker 1: I don't feel like it's gone anywhere. Like I feel like, 524 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 1: in a way it has become distilled because the fact 525 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: that she's not here to kind of talk about all 526 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 1: the stuff, to all the bad stuff, all the difficult stuff, 527 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: all the amazing stuff life in general, because all of 528 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,400 Speaker 1: that has disappeared. Really, what's been left in this kind 529 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: of relief is the grace and the laughter and the humor, 530 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: and all of that for me is love. And I 531 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 1: feel it's so intensely and even though I'm I can't 532 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: talk to her and tell her, I feel like that 533 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: was the gift that she left me with was what 534 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: survives of us is love. Like that is quite literally 535 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,479 Speaker 1: what survives of us is that vibration and that feeling. 536 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 1: And to be able to give that to your children 537 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: and for them to continue to feel after you're physically 538 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: not here anymore, I think that's the point. It's like 539 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 1: passing the baton. And I was explaining that to my 540 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: son the other day, and I think it was really 541 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: amazing being able to tell him, and I know he 542 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: won't forget I have all of this love, all of 543 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: this love that mom left me with. And it's so 544 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: incredible to be able to tell you about that love 545 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: and that when you see it, you'll know it, you'll 546 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: see because you'll recognize it in you, and then you'll 547 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: have it, and so it goes on, and so it 548 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 1: goes on. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sorry you lost 549 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: your mom and your dad. I mean, we all do it. 550 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 1: It's just it's just what happens. We do, we do, 551 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 1: and and you know it's for those who haven't, if 552 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: anyone's listening out there who haven't, and I think it 553 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: terrifies them knowing that if it happened, they don't know 554 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 1: what they would do. And I'm always going to be well, 555 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,720 Speaker 1: you will. I a grieved and I leaned into it. 556 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 1: My friend Melissa was the one who gave me the advice. 557 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 1: I said, because I felt like I was such a 558 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 1: good son. I loved being a son, I loved my parents. 559 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 1: And she said, you're going to pour that love into 560 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 1: everything that you do. And so I think that I 561 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,719 Speaker 1: know that, I I know it was a definitive moment 562 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: in my life where the choice was to use that 563 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: love with even more conviction, and like you're saying, to 564 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: distill it to say that this is what, what purposes, 565 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 1: what my intentions are, who I love, how I love 566 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 1: not that not that I flitted it around, but I 567 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 1: guess I did. I just had it was more out there. Yeah, 568 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: it focuses you, like that's the thing when you lose someone, 569 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: even though you don't lose them, but when they are 570 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,240 Speaker 1: physically gone, it is so focused because you so clearly 571 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 1: feel what it is that you felt about them. Yeah, 572 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,719 Speaker 1: it certainly made me question all of the stuff that 573 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: I gave a lot of energy to that really didn't 574 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,479 Speaker 1: deserve their energy and didn't need it, didn't require it. 575 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: Done with that right, you can see Coleman in Zola, 576 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: which is in theaters now and it's honestly the most 577 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: radical and best film of the year in my opinion, 578 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: maybe in many years. Run don't walk to see it, 579 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: and Candyman, which is released on August the twenty seventh 580 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 1: this year. Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me 581 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 1: Mini Driver, supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Lavoy, Research 582 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 1: assistant Marissa Brown. Original music Sorry Baby by Mini Driver, 583 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced by Me Minni Driver, 584 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson Addison O'Day, Lisa 585 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: Castella and Annick Oppenheim at w kPr DE La Pescadore, 586 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech 587 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 1: support Henry Driver