WEBVTT - Defying Expectations | Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We're so

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<v Speaker 1>excited to be back again, Katy, thanks for joining us.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, I am so excited. But can we

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<v Speaker 2>just talk for a minute about exhaustion. Before we are

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<v Speaker 1>Take it away, maybe all of it. We want all

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<v Speaker 1>these questions, we love answering them. We love giving advice,

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<v Speaker 1>but we always are curious how you made out. Definitely

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<v Speaker 1>do that for us, and just remember you can also

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<v Speaker 1>dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. All right, Kathy,

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<v Speaker 1>let's start with hometowns. Oh my goodness, what did you

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<v Speaker 1>think of this week's hometown?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, first of all, the best thing starting with Juliana

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<v Speaker 2>and her dad Carl, who I actually loved, but I

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<v Speaker 2>did you just got did you get home?

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<v Speaker 1>Hoick?

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<v Speaker 2>Go Newt and go Boston? I was the accent. When

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<v Speaker 2>people say to me, oh, I can tell you from Boston.

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<v Speaker 2>I want a clip of this episode just to play

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<v Speaker 2>them and say, no, no, this is a Boston accent.

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<v Speaker 2>Carl has a Boston accent. I just loved it, though.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you're the Italian, so you got to weigh

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<v Speaker 2>in on this about how Italians. But I thought they

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<v Speaker 2>were so welcoming.

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<v Speaker 1>They were one two. They were we are That's how

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<v Speaker 1>we are. They eat, they gather, and I loved that

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<v Speaker 1>he accepted and he liked them. Yeah, what did you think? Though?

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<v Speaker 2>I had to laugh when they at the pizza store

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<v Speaker 2>and they bring home four pizzas. I'm like, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>crowd of like sixty there. I'm sure those four pizzas

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<v Speaker 2>went far. But you know it's funny because I wish

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<v Speaker 2>they had shown just me being me. I wish they

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<v Speaker 2>had shown more of Newton, more of Boston. I just

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<v Speaker 2>wish they had, you know, had a nice date other

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<v Speaker 2>than just going to a local pizza place and try

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<v Speaker 2>to spin pizzas.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, I think she's very happy. She's giddy, like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she doesn't want to get hurt. I mean, when I

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<v Speaker 1>said it was the first time in seven years she's

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<v Speaker 1>brought a guy home, I know, And I watched it thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>are you going to get hurt? I don't know, So

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<v Speaker 1>we move it on each date. I kept looking for

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<v Speaker 1>that moment that tells us right, yeah, the modeling with

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<v Speaker 1>Zoe and all that was cool and she is a beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful girl and not feeling that one.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we'll get to her, but but I just want

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<v Speaker 2>to know. On of course, I told you Juliana is

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<v Speaker 2>my hometown girl. I still think it's going to be Latia.

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<v Speaker 2>But I loved the way they really welcomed him, and

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<v Speaker 2>I think that meant a lot to him, because this

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<v Speaker 2>is a guy that seems to really care about family

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<v Speaker 2>and what he Yeah, and did you hear him say

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<v Speaker 2>Juliana I think said to her dad, you know he's

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<v Speaker 2>my guy. We were aligned and they feel safe with

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<v Speaker 2>each other. I mean, those things really matter, and and

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<v Speaker 2>you know the previews, he says, he's really struggling. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going out on a limb here. I think he's going

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<v Speaker 2>to be struggling between Juliana and Litia. All right, let's

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<v Speaker 2>move on to to Zoe. Wait one more? Thanks? Did

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<v Speaker 2>you wait? But did you hear him tell her I

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<v Speaker 2>started this. He said to Juliana, I'm falling for you.

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<v Speaker 2>It could be a fit. And Juliana said she'd let

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<v Speaker 2>down her walls. So and when he kissed her goodbye,

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<v Speaker 2>it was not a.

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<v Speaker 1>Wasn't a pack, No, it was good kids. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not the one I wanted. I like her.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all right, so let's go to Zoe who it's

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<v Speaker 2>definitely not the one. But I don't think it's Zoe.

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<v Speaker 2>I would be surprised. I think she's lovely, she's got

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<v Speaker 2>a great life. She's very strong, and he likes that

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<v Speaker 2>about her. I think Zoe's beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>I think doing a wedding photo shoot, I do not

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<v Speaker 2>think that was a good idea. I mean, just for

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<v Speaker 2>does anyone think that was the good idea to do

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<v Speaker 2>a wedding photo shoot? Wait?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you remember when they tied the knot? Who was

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<v Speaker 1>that that tied the knot?

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<v Speaker 2>Latia?

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<v Speaker 1>Latia? Yeah that was so. I remember when Joan and Escale?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah I remember that.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, wait a minute, do you when they did, like,

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<v Speaker 2>they didn't just do a wedding shoot, they did a proposal.

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<v Speaker 2>They did she came out in a wedding draw.

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<v Speaker 1>I have how she was posing. She's a fabulous She's

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<v Speaker 1>a beautiful model.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying. I think everything you're saying is right.

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<v Speaker 2>She's a beautiful model. However, Grant did say you could

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<v Speaker 2>see he felt it was a little bit weird to

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<v Speaker 2>be doing a photo shoot with an engagement ranging the

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<v Speaker 2>whole nine yards. I mean, just practice Grant really and

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<v Speaker 2>I think it was foreshadowing. I think you know he's scared.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like, what the hell, why are we doing this?

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<v Speaker 2>He said that he was so proud of her for

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<v Speaker 2>doing being modeling. I didn't see him talking about them

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<v Speaker 2>at all. It was, Oh, she's a great model. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>she's beautiful, she's so good at her craft. Kind of

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<v Speaker 2>thing that was. It was almost like it was there

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<v Speaker 2>was I didn't feel anything other than damn, I look,

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<v Speaker 2>I wish, but don't you look like she does in

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<v Speaker 2>a wedding gown?

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<v Speaker 1>God? I mean, you are beautiful. If you're listening to this.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so you are absolutely gorgeous. Love it, but I

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<v Speaker 2>don't see it happening. Okay, my most.

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<v Speaker 1>Favorite dat or do you want to go to Dina?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, let's go to Let's.

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<v Speaker 1>Wear for Dina? Her parents didn't come. They refused to come. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't remember that her dad was a religious man.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't catch I don't think that's what it is necessarily,

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<v Speaker 2>I think. But can I just say to you, I

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<v Speaker 2>think that's what we call a red herring. Again, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know why I go out on limbso I'm talking

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<v Speaker 2>to you about this stuff. I just tell you what

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<v Speaker 2>I really think, because I figured nobody else is listening.

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<v Speaker 2>Just I'm just telling Susan here. But I think that, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>that is that was just a red herring. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think her parents been there had anything to do with it.

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<v Speaker 2>I think for her to send her home, well, it

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<v Speaker 2>may have put a thorn in it. But I'm saying

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't see the connection. I saw her and him

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<v Speaker 2>as companions. As you know, he trusted in her, he

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<v Speaker 2>believed she was saved sage advice. Yeah, he was impressed

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<v Speaker 2>of all that. And you know she was the one

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<v Speaker 2>that talked about Carolina and he listened to what she said.

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<v Speaker 2>But again, no no connection. But I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>He said like them both.

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<v Speaker 2>But but I don't think he sent her home because

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<v Speaker 2>her parents weren't there.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I don't think that's the main reason. But

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<v Speaker 1>that was a sour start. But I was feeling I

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<v Speaker 1>felt so bad for her.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I did too.

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<v Speaker 1>That's embarrassing. It's it's like, but you have to respect

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<v Speaker 1>your parents' wishes.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't whether she respects the wishes or not.

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<v Speaker 2>She was there with you know, her friends.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if she went home and said, thanks a

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<v Speaker 1>lot because of you.

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<v Speaker 2>She probably went home and said, you know what, he

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<v Speaker 2>sent me home.

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<v Speaker 1>He married.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, because you didn't and they said, and they

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<v Speaker 2>probably said to her, no, we knew it was going south.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why we didn't show up. I mean, that is

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<v Speaker 2>a no. That's a no win for anybody. But I

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<v Speaker 2>let's talk about Latilla going to Wyoming. Can I just

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<v Speaker 2>say the big the big thing in that room.

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<v Speaker 1>I put it on my bucket list, cath I gotta

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<v Speaker 1>go there. Oh it was so beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>We're gonna go and ride horses. I'm gonna go skiing.

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<v Speaker 2>You can ride horses, you and faith faith. If you're listening,

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<v Speaker 2>Susan's coming to ride horses with the no never happening.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, and I love the people the Mormons deal.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not an issue no.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that. Oh my god, here it comes, here

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<v Speaker 1>it comes. And they all were open. He is a

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<v Speaker 1>man of faith, That's all that mattered.

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<v Speaker 2>He did say to her and about Juliana, and again

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<v Speaker 2>I'm paraphrasing here. He said about Letia, she would make

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<v Speaker 2>a great wife and mother, and that has been his parade,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, lyric about family.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that's why her family loved that part.

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<v Speaker 1>She is so pure, that smile of hers, and she's

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<v Speaker 1>so falling for him.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I see the music. I don't know who does

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<v Speaker 2>the music, whoever, who's ever the music? Good job, a

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<v Speaker 2>great job, really a good job. You can use that

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<v Speaker 2>term for so many things. That's an inside joke. They

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<v Speaker 2>both seem so genuinely happy. And I love that Grant

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<v Speaker 2>opened up about his own mother's strict religious beliefs. He

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<v Speaker 2>seems comfortable with her. I think he seems, Oh I've

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<v Speaker 2>been Oh no, you're now you're doing turncoat again on me.

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<v Speaker 2>You kept saying Juliana and you'll get gold.

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<v Speaker 1>I like, I don't know who he picks, but after

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<v Speaker 1>this and she will not sleep with him on the overnights?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you hear say that? Uh?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have she will or won't. I mean, I've heard.

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<v Speaker 1>That her faith. And she also said that would be

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<v Speaker 1>difficult if he sleeps with other women.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he's a man and she's got some pretty women,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, get over at Ladia, it's happening. Forgive him,

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<v Speaker 2>start playing father, Forgive him for he know not what

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<v Speaker 2>he did.

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<v Speaker 1>He knew not what he did.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. So the other thing I wondered though, is how

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<v Speaker 2>Grant's family would fit into the Mormon faith. I have

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<v Speaker 2>friends who are who are Mormon. Literally, I mean they

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<v Speaker 2>they it's people. They're good people, but I think the

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<v Speaker 2>most I think they'll I think they.

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<v Speaker 1>Such a doll baby, I didn't look like any of them.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, wait, did you hear him tell Lettia's mother that

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<v Speaker 2>he's falling in love? He said that he hasn't said

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<v Speaker 2>that to any That's why saying these little things.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the way he looks at her and she looks

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<v Speaker 1>at him, she feels him.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I can't believe said hopeful, hopeful. Okay, So y'all

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<v Speaker 2>need to hear. Susan and I were the other night

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<v Speaker 2>and Susan was saying, we were talking about, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>those things in life in general, and soon said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you know me, Kathy, I'm just a hopeless romantic. And

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<v Speaker 2>I said, no, Susan, you are a hopeful romantic. So

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<v Speaker 2>we're now coining that Susan is not a hopeless romantic.

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<v Speaker 2>She is a romantic.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just here.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it's coming this year for both of us. And

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<v Speaker 2>so it was the taxman on April fifteenth. Okay, wait,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't believe you didn't bring up Wait, I cannot.

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<v Speaker 2>I was. I was waiting for you to do it

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<v Speaker 2>because you know, I thought this was in your wheelhouse,

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<v Speaker 2>but you didn't. So I'm taking it over Letilla's grandfather.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh god, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Kid Susan, what happened?

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was up about his wife and

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<v Speaker 2>how much they I thought, is this this is family

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<v Speaker 2>who knows what love is? They wouldn't want to be

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<v Speaker 2>a part of that? Who would not want to be

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<v Speaker 2>part of that? I was just like you said, that

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<v Speaker 2>whole hometown was perfect. Do you wait?

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't care for Kathy. Can we be honest, dear.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell me the horses no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no no. Every time he goes to leave them

0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.680
<v Speaker 1>and they know he's going to the next woman. Yeah,

0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:18.079
<v Speaker 1>it's not a warm and fuzzy goodbye. He's quick, little

0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:20.319
<v Speaker 1>kiss and off he goes next.

0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, mishopeful, romantic. He didn't have time to do a

0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:26.080
<v Speaker 2>friend a stare, dip and bow and makeout session. You know,

0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:30.480
<v Speaker 2>the car's waiting times running, money's time. Spend a minute

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.640
<v Speaker 2>with them before you leave? Wait? Can I also wait

0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 2>the one? I got to get back to Grandpop's here

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:38.160
<v Speaker 2>for a minute because I was crying. I've hung around

0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.240
<v Speaker 2>you too long, as Susan, I permitted, some.

0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.600
<v Speaker 1>It is sentimental.

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.400
<v Speaker 2>I am becoming. I am well. No, I've always been sentiment.

0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I just don't show it as easily easy to do,

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.360
<v Speaker 2>he said, were you can work out anything with love,

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:58.360
<v Speaker 2>and that kind of love that they had never goes away.

0:12:58.600 --> 0:12:59.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, no, I just.

0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I just made me cry. You could see how much

0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:07.040
<v Speaker 2>he missed his wife, and so you know she The

0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.680
<v Speaker 2>other thing I want to say about Letia, she says.

0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:14.080
<v Speaker 2>The depth of what she says to him. She said

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 2>she wants to give him everything. Fam I'm getting goosebumps again.

0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm family. I want to marry them, plug it away.

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh Jesus, Okay, Grant and Litia, should you be the

0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.080
<v Speaker 2>lucky too? I want to be the mc at your wedding,

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 2>and Susan wants to be the officia make it happen. Wait,

0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 2>the last thing though, that she said they both told

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 2>each other. Did you hear that they're falling in love

0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 2>with each other? Yes, So let me just say Grant

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:40.040
<v Speaker 2>it's got in mind that.

0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:40.960
<v Speaker 1>A lot for her.

0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but Grant's kind of a big problem if he

0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:46.839
<v Speaker 2>doesn't choose her. I mean, he's got a big problem anyway,

0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:50.839
<v Speaker 2>because he's told he's told uh Juliana that he's fall

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.640
<v Speaker 2>in love with her too, And in the previews he's

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:58.720
<v Speaker 2>telling Jesse that he's in love with two women. That's

0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.320
<v Speaker 2>what I think. I mean, these other two or just

0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:04.600
<v Speaker 2>wallpaper right now, they're on well, I mean they're lovely women,

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.840
<v Speaker 2>and Zoe's beautiful and so is so is Dina. But

0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:09.360
<v Speaker 2>you know they're just.

0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.440
<v Speaker 1>So Zoey's They're all going to go in the Wait

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:16.480
<v Speaker 1>then I'll buy you.

0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.320
<v Speaker 2>I'll buy you a new capsule wardrobe. If he doesn't

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.360
<v Speaker 2>send Zoe home if she's not next.

0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I agree, I agree, that's how I feel. Any I

0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:27.600
<v Speaker 1>would be quite surprised.

0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I just I think he's I think he's a great guy.

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 2>But you know, we have to remember I sit here

0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:37.480
<v Speaker 2>watching the show, and I have to remember that these

0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:43.840
<v Speaker 2>are young adults. They haven't had enough life experiences yet,

0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 2>so I could see they're in love with two.

0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I couldn't have Has Latia ever been in love?

0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't ask her when I called it.

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.960
<v Speaker 1>It was quite some time before since she brought anybody

0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.800
<v Speaker 1>around the family. I remember hearing that, but Juliana said,

0:14:59.720 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.560
<v Speaker 2>Juliana was like she had brought somebody home in seven years.

0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember the saying that. But again, you know,

0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 2>this is one of these things where I go back

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.480
<v Speaker 2>to to Leslie and Theresa on our show, like, remember

0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:16.200
<v Speaker 2>you and I talked about this. We were glad that

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.680
<v Speaker 2>we didn't make it to the end because who wanted.

0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:21.200
<v Speaker 1>To be kind a heartbreaking place to be.

0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.400
<v Speaker 2>What a horrible heartbreak, you know, because you.

0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:29.360
<v Speaker 1>Open yourself, you've become vulnerable. Yeah, and then you believe him.

0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, I would believe if a guy tells me, If

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.840
<v Speaker 2>if a man tells me he's in love with me,

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.440
<v Speaker 2>why would you not believe that?

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:36.800
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Unless he's got his phone list out and there's ten

0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:46.520
<v Speaker 2>other women that he's dial called the bachelor? Why because

0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:51.920
<v Speaker 2>he remains the bachelor. That's why it should be you know,

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 2>first first time wedding or something. I don't know, but

0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.239
<v Speaker 2>I think it's I think it's a great show. I

0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.800
<v Speaker 2>frankly am ready for Zoe to go home, not because

0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:03.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't like her.

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:07.080
<v Speaker 1>I think she's lovely, Zoe. I think you're lovelyhead version.

0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.400
<v Speaker 2>I think you are an incredible model, and I would

0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.720
<v Speaker 2>focus on that some man will sweep you off your

0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.480
<v Speaker 2>feet and you will be wearing that white wedding gown

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.440
<v Speaker 2>for the man of your dreams. But I just don't

0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 2>see it for one minute being grand. So I can't wait.

0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:21.320
<v Speaker 2>So next week it's.

0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Going to break my heart between the two. In my

0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.360
<v Speaker 1>world Zoe left. Yeah.

0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh, in my world, it was always boiled down to

0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 2>those two.

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:37.680
<v Speaker 1>This be good.

0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Susan, it's time to get into the episode.

0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:43.960
<v Speaker 1>Here we go.

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.600
<v Speaker 2>We're going to start with my favorite day.

0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:50.120
<v Speaker 1>Here we go.

0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:55.280
<v Speaker 2>All right, what advice Susan, would you give young women

0:16:55.600 --> 0:17:02.520
<v Speaker 2>who are dealing with gossip, rumors and all things? Mean girls? Oh?

0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.600
<v Speaker 2>How much can we talk about this? Oh?

0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:07.080
<v Speaker 1>My god? I could start with just raising my kids,

0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 1>my daughter, what she went through and to be honest, Kathy,

0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:14.160
<v Speaker 1>you and I on the internet, people are mean. If

0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.439
<v Speaker 1>everybody was kind, it would be a well.

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Not everybody's mean. And I will say to you, let

0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:24.159
<v Speaker 2>me tell you how I deal with it, and the

0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:27.359
<v Speaker 2>advice I would give to young women I've had. And

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 2>You're right, Susan, We've both had a lot of people

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:34.240
<v Speaker 2>write just mean ass comments to us. Usually ignore them

0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:36.399
<v Speaker 2>because you know what, if you ignore them, they go away.

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.719
<v Speaker 1>But very occasionally I will address it.

0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:44.840
<v Speaker 2>And somebody wrote something so mean the other day about

0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.159
<v Speaker 2>you and me and our friendship, and I wrote back

0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 2>to them, Susan and I have such a great relationship,

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.680
<v Speaker 2>we are such good friends. I hope someday you find

0:17:56.680 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 2>a friendship like Susan's in mine. And in the meantime,

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.040
<v Speaker 2>I have a great day. It was same person that

0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:05.480
<v Speaker 2>said that I need a news job.

0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:09.680
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, that's a first.

0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm just saying people can be mean. My advice though,

0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:14.880
<v Speaker 2>first of all young women.

0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Takes harder for young women, but I wouldn't We're seasoned.

0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:20.960
<v Speaker 1>If you will, okay, it.

0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:25.439
<v Speaker 2>Shouldn't be hurt. Feelings are hurt feelings about young people.

0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.719
<v Speaker 2>My advice to them is ignore it first and foremost

0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:32.919
<v Speaker 2>ignore it because people are either jealous, they're angry about

0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:37.000
<v Speaker 2>something else. It's typically about them, not about you. It's

0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 2>the point.

0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.760
<v Speaker 1>When someone's spreading a rumor. I think that would be

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:44.479
<v Speaker 1>harder than just hearing mean things. When someone spreads a rumor,

0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:47.919
<v Speaker 1>you're going to think people are believing this thing, you

0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>know whatever.

0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.159
<v Speaker 2>And you know what, Susan, You're right, some people are

0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:51.800
<v Speaker 2>going to believe it.

0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:52.359
<v Speaker 1>But guess what.

0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.840
<v Speaker 2>We can only control our own reactions to things. We

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 2>can't make people think a certain way. We can't make

0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 2>people behave.

0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:03.000
<v Speaker 1>A certain way.

0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:06.199
<v Speaker 2>All we can do is control our own behavior and

0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:08.280
<v Speaker 2>do the best we can to control our own thoughts.

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 1>I got to give you a story. Okay, I was

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.240
<v Speaker 1>thirteen years old. I don't know if I ever shared

0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.439
<v Speaker 1>this with you. I was never allowed to go to

0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:20.320
<v Speaker 1>the splash party they were called at the pool because

0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:23.119
<v Speaker 1>there was a live music and it was for teenagers.

0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:26.560
<v Speaker 1>So I turned thirteen and I wanted to go. Mind you,

0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I developed in the chest area very late. I used

0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:31.600
<v Speaker 1>to pray to God, I want.

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.000
<v Speaker 2>Wait a minute, wait a second, I don't believe that. Yeah,

0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:35.840
<v Speaker 2>it was this happened to you overnight.

0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:39.159
<v Speaker 1>Overnight, Kathy, and I did, I must, I must, I

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:41.879
<v Speaker 1>must improve my bust. You know all those exercises we

0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:43.000
<v Speaker 1>used to cry to my dad.

0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:46.880
<v Speaker 2>We must develop our bost the bigger, the betters. We must,

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:48.280
<v Speaker 2>we must, we must.

0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:52.440
<v Speaker 1>So anyhow, I'm finally allowed to go to this thing.

0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:56.280
<v Speaker 1>I am so excited. And the development was starting. I

0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 1>mean it came overnight. Like I said, I went into

0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:03.840
<v Speaker 1>the bathroom at the splash party and it said, Susan

0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:13.200
<v Speaker 1>Vocolo stuffs. I was wordified. What well you do? MENO

0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:15.200
<v Speaker 1>me right? Please tell me you did not pull down

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.240
<v Speaker 1>your baby. I don't think before I do things. A

0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.719
<v Speaker 1>lot of times I came out I'm burst open the

0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:24.960
<v Speaker 1>top of my baby to cry my eyes out, to

0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:28.439
<v Speaker 1>show everybody I was not stuffing, and then called my

0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:31.600
<v Speaker 1>mother crying hysterical and come get me. Now.

0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:34.600
<v Speaker 2>Let me just say to the young women out there,

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:38.440
<v Speaker 2>don't Susan. Let me just say give you one word

0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:40.200
<v Speaker 2>of advice here, don't.

0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:44.200
<v Speaker 1>Hey, it worked, it worked, it, but he believed I

0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:46.360
<v Speaker 1>stuffed anymore because there they were.

0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:48.480
<v Speaker 2>And that was your golden life, to make sure that

0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:49.719
<v Speaker 2>people did not know.

0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:53.119
<v Speaker 1>Can you imagine walking in and reading something about yourself

0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:55.600
<v Speaker 1>and it was. It was mortifying, and it's.

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.600
<v Speaker 2>No worse than for a good time, going in to

0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.840
<v Speaker 2>a bathroom stall for a good time, call Kathy when

0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:03.199
<v Speaker 2>my phone number. No.

0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Seriously, though, it does hurt, and it does thing, and

0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:10.360
<v Speaker 1>women are girls. Don't let it get the best of you.

0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Be the better person. You're off your bathing suit. Yeah

0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.520
<v Speaker 1>you can if you want. If they're talking about stuff,

0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.480
<v Speaker 1>and go for it. Can we please gut?

0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:21.360
<v Speaker 2>We're going to the fan questions right now.

0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:22.879
<v Speaker 1>We're just leaving that. We're going.

0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:26.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm going to start us off with the first one.

0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:29.640
<v Speaker 2>It starts, Oh guess what, Susan. We have update.

0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:33.320
<v Speaker 1>We just said that today. We love the update.

0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.800
<v Speaker 2>We love the updates. Okay, this is one from Maggie.

0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:39.040
<v Speaker 2>She wrote in I don't know if you all remember,

0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.320
<v Speaker 2>but we certainly do. She wrote in asking for ways

0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:46.760
<v Speaker 2>she cont can connect with her boyfriend outside of food

0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:50.280
<v Speaker 2>and cooking while she struggled with brain surgery. If you

0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:52.919
<v Speaker 2>want to go back and listen to it from our episode,

0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:57.000
<v Speaker 2>it's the one called We're All in the Same Boat. Okay,

0:21:57.119 --> 0:22:00.479
<v Speaker 2>here it is, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have an

0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:03.320
<v Speaker 2>update I wanted to share with you. After a question

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:06.600
<v Speaker 2>I submitted back in the summer. It was about my

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:10.919
<v Speaker 2>inability to eat after brain surgery and the strain this

0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:15.560
<v Speaker 2>had on my relationship with my boyfriend. Your advoice, your

0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 2>advice really helped. I listened to it several times because

0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:23.840
<v Speaker 2>your kindness and sympathy brought me so much comfort. Thank

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:25.800
<v Speaker 2>you so much.

0:22:26.240 --> 0:22:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:31.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so we took your advice and found other activities

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:35.080
<v Speaker 2>to enjoy together over the summer and fall besides our

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:38.720
<v Speaker 2>usual eating, cooking, and dining out together. But I've since

0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.760
<v Speaker 2>improved and can finally start to eat some foods again.

0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:44.639
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to share this progress and good news with

0:22:44.720 --> 0:22:47.800
<v Speaker 2>two of my favorite ladies who really helped in my

0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.520
<v Speaker 2>time of need. I have goosebump. Susan makes me.

0:22:50.680 --> 0:22:51.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm so happy for it.

0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Yay, Maggie, We're so happy for you.

0:22:54.680 --> 0:22:58.359
<v Speaker 1>Wow. Goodness, So it did it? Did work? Help? She

0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:02.680
<v Speaker 1>did try? She was in an ugly place right, Yeah,

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:05.440
<v Speaker 1>I just I love it. Now they're doing it now.

0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:08.440
<v Speaker 1>I just want to say that you, you and I've

0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:10.879
<v Speaker 1>talked about this. Food is not a big thing for me,

0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:15.160
<v Speaker 1>and so when we talked about like what she could

0:23:15.160 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 1>do besides eating and dining out, we were coming up

0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:21.240
<v Speaker 1>with ideas. There are lots of ways to make connections,

0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:24.920
<v Speaker 1>and I'm just so glad that they found other ways

0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:28.879
<v Speaker 1>besides the usual, you know, cooking dinosas not telling me

0:23:28.920 --> 0:23:30.800
<v Speaker 1>what they are though I want to know what they did.

0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:34.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm guessing they went to the beach and she pulled

0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:35.920
<v Speaker 2>off for bathing suit tops.

0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:38.720
<v Speaker 1>So stop it. But just just the simple fact that

0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:43.680
<v Speaker 1>she's feeling better is the main thing, exactly it really.

0:23:43.480 --> 0:23:46.679
<v Speaker 2>So, Maggie. We are so thrilled that you have improved health,

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:50.520
<v Speaker 2>that your relationship is going well, that this is great news.

0:23:50.560 --> 0:23:53.359
<v Speaker 1>That is the best one. Importantly, that you're doing good

0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:56.119
<v Speaker 1>and you want to keep on going with him because

0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:58.879
<v Speaker 1>you are going to make it. It just took time,

0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:02.160
<v Speaker 1>and it was a scary time. We prayed for you,

0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:05.320
<v Speaker 1>we thought about you, and we're so thrilled that you

0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:06.919
<v Speaker 1>came back to us and let us know.

0:24:07.280 --> 0:24:09.959
<v Speaker 2>That means, Maggie, let us know if you have time,

0:24:10.800 --> 0:24:14.040
<v Speaker 2>let us know what activities you did. We'd love to know.

0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:16.159
<v Speaker 2>Write us in another update. We would love to hear

0:24:16.200 --> 0:24:18.159
<v Speaker 2>from him. Absolutely absolutely.

0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:24.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, now let's get into Maggie's question. Maggie asks my

0:24:24.480 --> 0:24:28.000
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend and I have been together twelve years. I'm thirty

0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:32.639
<v Speaker 1>one and he's thirty three. I know time to get engaged.

0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:36.919
<v Speaker 1>Due to my unexpected brain surgery and all the post

0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 1>of complications, I've been unable to work for a year

0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:44.040
<v Speaker 1>and he's had to cover us financially. He wants to

0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:47.560
<v Speaker 1>get engaged too, but keeps putting it off for the

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 1>financial reasons. He's holding off because he's determined to get

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:56.200
<v Speaker 1>me a fancy, expensive ring. It's hard because of everyone's

0:24:56.280 --> 0:25:01.880
<v Speaker 1>expectations and comparisons when it comes to engage rings. Where's

0:25:02.400 --> 0:25:05.000
<v Speaker 1>where's Neil Lame when you need him? We could call

0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:07.880
<v Speaker 1>him for you? Actually, any advice on how to move

0:25:07.920 --> 0:25:12.800
<v Speaker 1>forward with our relationship despite these financial barriers.

0:25:13.480 --> 0:25:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm hearing two things here. Yeah, one I'm hearing

0:25:17.080 --> 0:25:21.200
<v Speaker 2>their financial issues and the other one I'm hearing, Uh,

0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:25.280
<v Speaker 2>it's about a ring. You can get engaged, Maggie without

0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:28.919
<v Speaker 2>a ring. I know it's not customary, but you know

0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:32.840
<v Speaker 2>the ring is a symbol of love. If the love

0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:35.720
<v Speaker 2>is there, do you really need the ring right now?

0:25:35.960 --> 0:25:39.359
<v Speaker 1>Well, they're also talking about comparison, So get a cz

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:41.720
<v Speaker 1>for now and he could make it a real one.

0:25:41.920 --> 0:25:44.800
<v Speaker 2>I got a friend. Wait, Susan, I've got a friend, Maggie,

0:25:44.840 --> 0:25:46.560
<v Speaker 2>reach out to me. I have a friend who deals

0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:50.280
<v Speaker 2>in lab diamonds. But they're beautiful, they're sort of well,

0:25:50.320 --> 0:25:51.919
<v Speaker 2>they're a lot cheaper than a real one.

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Ye, well they are real, they are, They're just not natural.

0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know.

0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:01.280
<v Speaker 2>I can't figure out here though, if if it's the

0:26:01.400 --> 0:26:03.800
<v Speaker 2>ring or the financial stress.

0:26:03.840 --> 0:26:06.520
<v Speaker 1>The financial because she says, any advice on how to

0:26:06.520 --> 0:26:09.680
<v Speaker 1>move forward with our relationships, you keep it going with

0:26:09.760 --> 0:26:12.560
<v Speaker 1>these financial barriers. So I mean, that is what it is.

0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:15.360
<v Speaker 1>As long as you two are happy and.

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Love each other. Who cares about the ring? Listen, Maggie,

0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:20.880
<v Speaker 2>reach out to me. I've got a diamond from my husband.

0:26:20.880 --> 0:26:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't have him anymore. I could maybe lend.

0:26:23.080 --> 0:26:27.040
<v Speaker 1>You the ring, I like I said, get a CZ

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:29.520
<v Speaker 1>if that's what's what it's going to take or no.

0:26:29.840 --> 0:26:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I could always replace the stone or do the lab diving.

0:26:33.040 --> 0:26:37.119
<v Speaker 1>But other than that, that's not everybody's expecting you to

0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:40.320
<v Speaker 1>get engaged, like there is there a time limit on this.

0:26:41.640 --> 0:26:43.879
<v Speaker 1>You too are in love. You two know you have

0:26:43.960 --> 0:26:46.639
<v Speaker 1>a future. That is the most important part. But I

0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 1>get it when everyone else is a diamond you want

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:49.600
<v Speaker 1>one to.

0:26:49.920 --> 0:26:53.520
<v Speaker 2>That's totally go the lab diamond room. But here's something

0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:55.760
<v Speaker 2>I sense. Maybe I'm wrong, Maggie, but I feel like

0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:58.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm hearing that you said he's been supporting you for

0:26:59.000 --> 0:27:01.560
<v Speaker 2>a year that you know you've been out of So

0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:05.040
<v Speaker 2>maybe there are some other financial constraints right now. And

0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:08.240
<v Speaker 2>if that's the case, get yourself back up on your feet,

0:27:08.320 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, and get and go back to work at

0:27:11.640 --> 0:27:13.119
<v Speaker 2>put money back in the bank.

0:27:13.320 --> 0:27:14.160
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna be kicking.

0:27:14.560 --> 0:27:17.960
<v Speaker 2>Trust me when I tell you, Maggie, a ring is

0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:20.560
<v Speaker 2>worth nothing if you don't have the love to go

0:27:20.600 --> 0:27:23.200
<v Speaker 2>along with it, So celebrate the love.

0:27:23.520 --> 0:27:28.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad you're recovering. I'm glad you're feeling better. It's great.

0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:31.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it's all good, Maggie. All right, let's move

0:27:31.040 --> 0:27:35.120
<v Speaker 2>on to question number two. Ray asked, I think Ray

0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:39.280
<v Speaker 2>is a girl. It's spelled r a Hey, Susan and Kathy.

0:27:39.680 --> 0:27:42.320
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to say that I love this podcast and

0:27:42.400 --> 0:27:45.600
<v Speaker 2>have loved watching you on The Golden Bachelor. Listening to

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:48.640
<v Speaker 2>your podcast is one of the favorite parts of my week.

0:27:49.119 --> 0:27:51.800
<v Speaker 2>Do you have any advice for someone who struggles with

0:27:51.840 --> 0:27:56.240
<v Speaker 2>their relationship with their dad. My dad is great, but

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:59.560
<v Speaker 2>my dad is also so hard to be around. He

0:27:59.720 --> 0:28:04.000
<v Speaker 2>is always negative and thinks of the worst case scenario,

0:28:04.359 --> 0:28:06.760
<v Speaker 2>and I feel like I can't tell him anything because

0:28:06.760 --> 0:28:10.080
<v Speaker 2>he's very critical or doesn't seem to care. It seems

0:28:10.080 --> 0:28:12.399
<v Speaker 2>like I have a dad who is there but not

0:28:12.720 --> 0:28:15.960
<v Speaker 2>actually there. If I don't do something right, he yells

0:28:15.960 --> 0:28:18.639
<v Speaker 2>at me and gets upset. I've tried to talk to

0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:21.760
<v Speaker 2>him about it, but he doesn't really apologize and doesn't

0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:24.600
<v Speaker 2>seem actually sorry. I just don't know what to do.

0:28:25.119 --> 0:28:26.360
<v Speaker 2>Have you any advice.

0:28:28.000 --> 0:28:31.439
<v Speaker 1>He's your dad. You have to accept him like he is.

0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:34.879
<v Speaker 1>You cannot change him. And I think she's doing the

0:28:34.960 --> 0:28:39.000
<v Speaker 1>right thing by not telling him everything because.

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 2>My question she's I don't know how old she is.

0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:48.200
<v Speaker 2>But I'm sorry, Susan, I don't accept that a dad

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:50.040
<v Speaker 2>gets to yell at you.

0:28:51.400 --> 0:28:54.920
<v Speaker 1>Uh, I don't know it doesn't say, she said.

0:28:56.160 --> 0:28:59.080
<v Speaker 2>If I don't do something right, he yells at me

0:28:59.360 --> 0:29:02.920
<v Speaker 2>and gets up set. So Ray I would say to

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:06.760
<v Speaker 2>your dad, I'm really sorry you're so angry. I'm going

0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:09.560
<v Speaker 2>to step away, and when you can come and speak

0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:12.760
<v Speaker 2>to me respectfully and calmly, I would be happy to

0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:17.080
<v Speaker 2>resume this conversation. Everyone deserves that, Susan, whether it's a friend,

0:29:17.240 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 2>a mother, a daughter, a father, a son. You don't

0:29:21.040 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 2>get to yell at people unless it's me yelling at you,

0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:24.200
<v Speaker 2>and then it's all fair game.

0:29:24.520 --> 0:29:27.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah whatever. So it is her father, and I would

0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:30.000
<v Speaker 1>like to know how old she is because that would

0:29:30.040 --> 0:29:33.560
<v Speaker 1>make it a little bit easier. And as you mature,

0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:36.560
<v Speaker 1>you're able to say and yet somebody in the eye say,

0:29:36.760 --> 0:29:40.440
<v Speaker 1>this is really disrespectful. Daddy. I don't want to share

0:29:40.560 --> 0:29:43.520
<v Speaker 1>with you anymore because you're always Debbie down or a

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:47.880
<v Speaker 1>negative you know, right, or Dougie down one. Do you

0:29:48.000 --> 0:29:51.120
<v Speaker 1>want us to have a good relationship. I can't change

0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:51.640
<v Speaker 1>who you are.

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:55.080
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm guessing, Susan, I'm guessing he's a worrier,

0:29:57.520 --> 0:29:58.120
<v Speaker 2>a worrier.

0:29:58.520 --> 0:30:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Maybe he's worried about her, that could be, but he

0:30:03.600 --> 0:30:05.120
<v Speaker 1>is negative, she's saying.

0:30:07.120 --> 0:30:11.239
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes people are negative because they worry about what. You know,

0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:15.160
<v Speaker 2>she's on a date. What happens if you know he's worried.

0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:19.200
<v Speaker 1>He's out there, but he's not actually there. He's there.

0:30:19.280 --> 0:30:23.920
<v Speaker 1>He's old school. He thinks the way she thinks. Enlighten him,

0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:25.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, tell him that that's this isn't.

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:28.360
<v Speaker 2>What you just said five minutes ago, Susan stick. We'll

0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:30.680
<v Speaker 2>just pick your story here and stick with it. Is

0:30:30.680 --> 0:30:34.800
<v Speaker 2>he gonna change, well, you said, Dad, he's your dad

0:30:34.840 --> 0:30:37.120
<v Speaker 2>and he's not going to change now, he said, Well,

0:30:37.120 --> 0:30:37.840
<v Speaker 2>then she can't.

0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:40.400
<v Speaker 1>Enlighten, enlighten him how she's feeling.

0:30:40.680 --> 0:30:41.320
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't care.

0:30:42.880 --> 0:30:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, he will when she silences in.

0:30:46.640 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 2>I hope you're right. I think there's more to this

0:30:48.920 --> 0:30:50.960
<v Speaker 2>story of Ray. I want to know how old you are.

0:30:51.160 --> 0:30:53.600
<v Speaker 2>I want to know if he's siblings. I want to

0:30:53.640 --> 0:30:56.680
<v Speaker 2>know if your dad is married. I'm guessing this has

0:30:56.760 --> 0:30:59.880
<v Speaker 2>something to do more with interpersonal role.

0:31:00.360 --> 0:31:06.000
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if he's a freaking old Italian because they're stubborn.

0:31:06.040 --> 0:31:08.920
<v Speaker 1>You can't get them to change. Make up a pan

0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:12.880
<v Speaker 1>of gravy feet them. He'll be fine. There's stuck on

0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:16.280
<v Speaker 1>their ways. But you know what right I offer you

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:19.960
<v Speaker 1>good luck And if it were me, I would try

0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:22.800
<v Speaker 1>to have that conversation and then i'd pull back. I mean,

0:31:22.800 --> 0:31:25.240
<v Speaker 1>it's a shame to say, but I would share everything

0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:27.280
<v Speaker 1>with him. I wouldn't want to hear his big mail.

0:31:27.720 --> 0:31:28.360
<v Speaker 1>He's negative.

0:31:28.400 --> 0:31:30.520
<v Speaker 2>You guys, sometimes, Ray, you got to be you have

0:31:30.560 --> 0:31:34.600
<v Speaker 2>to respect yourself. Yes, he is your father, but nobody

0:31:34.680 --> 0:31:37.120
<v Speaker 2>gets to treat you. You shouldn't allow anyone to treat

0:31:37.160 --> 0:31:40.000
<v Speaker 2>you disrespectfully.

0:31:38.680 --> 0:31:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Anywhow But thank you for writing in let us know

0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:44.520
<v Speaker 1>if there's any break in this al righty. Question number

0:31:44.520 --> 0:31:48.920
<v Speaker 1>three is from an anonymous Hi, golden ladies. I hope

0:31:48.920 --> 0:31:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you both are having a fabulous day if and when

0:31:52.040 --> 0:31:55.680
<v Speaker 1>you decide to read this. I'm staying anonymous on this

0:31:55.760 --> 0:31:59.960
<v Speaker 1>question because I honestly am a little embarrassed by don't

0:32:00.080 --> 0:32:03.880
<v Speaker 1>be embarrassed. I have not told any of my family

0:32:03.960 --> 0:32:07.200
<v Speaker 1>or friends that this is going on, So here we go.

0:32:08.360 --> 0:32:11.800
<v Speaker 1>My husband and I have been married for around five months.

0:32:12.160 --> 0:32:17.320
<v Speaker 1>For contents, we did not live together long term before marriage,

0:32:17.320 --> 0:32:22.960
<v Speaker 1>only around a month due to how rent contracts lined up. Overall,

0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:26.000
<v Speaker 1>I think we have a great marriage. The only issue

0:32:26.000 --> 0:32:29.560
<v Speaker 1>that still weighs on me is we struggle to sleep

0:32:29.680 --> 0:32:33.840
<v Speaker 1>in the same bed. He snores and is very sensitive

0:32:33.880 --> 0:32:37.760
<v Speaker 1>to movement, and I struggled to sleep with snoring, so

0:32:37.880 --> 0:32:42.520
<v Speaker 1>do I as well as Dawson turned a lot subconsciously

0:32:43.360 --> 0:32:48.240
<v Speaker 1>as I'm sleeping, So not a great combo. We bought

0:32:48.240 --> 0:32:51.440
<v Speaker 1>a king sized bed to help, but it hasn't helped much.

0:32:51.960 --> 0:32:55.400
<v Speaker 1>We've been sleeping separately for a few months now, but

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess I always thought we'd end up trying it again.

0:32:59.080 --> 0:33:01.320
<v Speaker 1>I brought it up on time and conversation and he

0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:04.400
<v Speaker 1>told me that he also wants us to sleep in

0:33:04.440 --> 0:33:07.640
<v Speaker 1>the same bed, but he's come to realize that it

0:33:07.720 --> 0:33:11.520
<v Speaker 1>may not be possible. He says that getting good sleep

0:33:11.640 --> 0:33:15.920
<v Speaker 1>is more important because then our waking time together is

0:33:16.040 --> 0:33:19.920
<v Speaker 1>much happier and better. I cannot pretend that I don't

0:33:20.000 --> 0:33:23.600
<v Speaker 1>enjoy the freedom of having a bed to myself, so

0:33:24.880 --> 0:33:27.640
<v Speaker 1>it is not him just making me do this. But

0:33:27.760 --> 0:33:30.880
<v Speaker 1>I always thought when you get married, you share a bed,

0:33:31.400 --> 0:33:34.640
<v Speaker 1>and despite the freedom of separate beds, deep down I

0:33:34.720 --> 0:33:37.480
<v Speaker 1>do still want to share a bed. I know I

0:33:37.480 --> 0:33:40.680
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't care what others think, but it makes me worry

0:33:40.720 --> 0:33:44.560
<v Speaker 1>that people think we're having issues, and also that when

0:33:44.600 --> 0:33:49.160
<v Speaker 1>we do have struggles in the future, as all marriages do,

0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:52.520
<v Speaker 1>that being separated at night will only make us feel

0:33:52.560 --> 0:33:56.800
<v Speaker 1>more separate in general. Good point. I also worry that

0:33:56.920 --> 0:34:00.760
<v Speaker 1>our sex life will suffer, especially once we have kids.

0:34:01.040 --> 0:34:04.280
<v Speaker 1>What do you two think? Is it possible to have

0:34:04.320 --> 0:34:10.280
<v Speaker 1>a successful marriage and sleep separately? Any tips for sleeping

0:34:10.320 --> 0:34:14.240
<v Speaker 1>together that I haven't already thought of, and any advice

0:34:14.320 --> 0:34:18.800
<v Speaker 1>on having the conversation with my parents, my friends, et cetera,

0:34:19.280 --> 0:34:23.000
<v Speaker 1>if we decide to continue down this road. I am

0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:26.560
<v Speaker 1>sorry for the long question, but I so appreciate it

0:34:26.600 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 1>if you decide to answer it, love y'all and keep

0:34:29.560 --> 0:34:32.240
<v Speaker 1>up the good work. Wow. Well, wait a minute.

0:34:32.360 --> 0:34:36.840
<v Speaker 2>First, there's so much to unpack here. Since when do

0:34:36.880 --> 0:34:40.160
<v Speaker 2>you have to talk to your parents? And that's what

0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:46.239
<v Speaker 2>stood out to me the most. Listen, listen, listen, Anonymous.

0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:49.120
<v Speaker 2>If I said to you you, when you talk to

0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:51.480
<v Speaker 2>your friends and parents and tell them how many times

0:34:51.520 --> 0:34:53.960
<v Speaker 2>you have sex a day or a week or a year,

0:34:54.239 --> 0:34:56.279
<v Speaker 2>you might want to mention you're not sharing the same bed,

0:34:56.320 --> 0:35:00.719
<v Speaker 2>are you kidding? You do not owe anyone any explanation

0:35:00.920 --> 0:35:03.200
<v Speaker 2>about where you.

0:35:02.680 --> 0:35:06.960
<v Speaker 1>Sleep, and you can have a fabulous sex life. Do

0:35:07.040 --> 0:35:09.000
<v Speaker 1>it in his room, and then you could go to

0:35:09.040 --> 0:35:14.680
<v Speaker 1>your nice, clean bed and sleep sound. There's also I

0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:17.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know if he's a person that could do this,

0:35:17.760 --> 0:35:20.440
<v Speaker 1>but that they have the sleep thing that helps them

0:35:20.480 --> 0:35:22.239
<v Speaker 1>not snore. There is a.

0:35:23.719 --> 0:35:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Thing, so there's sleep apnea. You know who knows. I

0:35:26.680 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 2>would say to you, Anonymous, he needs to go and

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:33.120
<v Speaker 2>get diagnosed. Does he have sleep apnea? Is he overweight?

0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Is he you know what? Does he have obstructive? Does

0:35:36.480 --> 0:35:40.120
<v Speaker 2>he deal with the issue that constructive? Are you impressed?

0:35:40.120 --> 0:35:41.600
<v Speaker 2>I knew that obstruct.

0:35:43.080 --> 0:35:46.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying in turns too and their mattresses out

0:35:46.600 --> 0:35:48.960
<v Speaker 1>there that you can't feel the other one moved. There

0:35:48.960 --> 0:35:52.440
<v Speaker 1>are ways around that. Butt. All in all, the whole

0:35:52.480 --> 0:35:57.880
<v Speaker 1>thing taken in, there is nothing wrong with having separate rooms.

0:35:57.960 --> 0:36:01.000
<v Speaker 1>It is early for it, but older people do it

0:36:01.040 --> 0:36:01.680
<v Speaker 1>all the time.

0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:04.719
<v Speaker 2>That's the points isn't right there? I wasn't going to

0:36:04.760 --> 0:36:06.600
<v Speaker 2>say it, but of course you know now I have to.

0:36:07.480 --> 0:36:12.319
<v Speaker 2>I think it bodes if if you're sleeping separately every night.

0:36:12.960 --> 0:36:17.200
<v Speaker 2>I think part of a good marriage, especially when you're young.

0:36:17.440 --> 0:36:20.200
<v Speaker 2>When you're older, you know, take your snoring and your

0:36:20.480 --> 0:36:24.080
<v Speaker 2>journey socks and get out of here.

0:36:23.239 --> 0:36:24.040
<v Speaker 1>To go to the bathroom.

0:36:24.160 --> 0:36:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but when you're young, I think that could be

0:36:27.160 --> 0:36:28.560
<v Speaker 2>detrimental to a marriage.

0:36:28.680 --> 0:36:32.879
<v Speaker 1>I do they do you? Like she said, If we're

0:36:33.000 --> 0:36:37.120
<v Speaker 1>not doing it now, we're not together. Now things happen

0:36:37.200 --> 0:36:39.239
<v Speaker 1>in the marriage, and when you have kids, it's like

0:36:39.280 --> 0:36:40.520
<v Speaker 1>two separate lives.

0:36:40.880 --> 0:36:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know that when I was newly you

0:36:45.040 --> 0:36:48.640
<v Speaker 2>know married. Uh you know, in the dark ages, we

0:36:48.760 --> 0:36:50.440
<v Speaker 2>used to lie in bed at night before we go

0:36:50.440 --> 0:36:52.160
<v Speaker 2>to sleep and we talk about our day. It was

0:36:52.200 --> 0:36:54.680
<v Speaker 2>like the intimacy without the sex part. But you know

0:36:55.000 --> 0:36:58.480
<v Speaker 2>that was different. That was sex and they could still

0:36:58.560 --> 0:37:00.520
<v Speaker 2>have and then but.

0:37:00.440 --> 0:37:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Think about it.

0:37:00.960 --> 0:37:03.720
<v Speaker 2>You're lying there and you're talking and you're getting drowsy.

0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:05.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh got to get I mean, I don't know.

0:37:05.280 --> 0:37:08.600
<v Speaker 1>It just feels a little and I understand our concern.

0:37:08.880 --> 0:37:10.640
<v Speaker 1>But the main part for me, you don't have to

0:37:10.719 --> 0:37:13.960
<v Speaker 1>Nobody has to know this unless he's telling people that, yeah,

0:37:14.000 --> 0:37:14.319
<v Speaker 1>I don't.

0:37:14.360 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 2>I would definitely get him to a doctor. That there's

0:37:16.360 --> 0:37:19.279
<v Speaker 2>things that they anewer device that you implant in the

0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:21.719
<v Speaker 2>skin that has that swam.

0:37:21.480 --> 0:37:25.920
<v Speaker 1>With the button you press the button under your chest. Yes, yes, yes, yes,

0:37:26.320 --> 0:37:30.840
<v Speaker 1>but talk to him now. I heard when you said

0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:35.080
<v Speaker 1>he said sleep is important. It is because if you

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:37.359
<v Speaker 1>wake up too tired and you didn't have a good

0:37:37.440 --> 0:37:40.680
<v Speaker 1>night's sleep, you're cranky and that's when you start bickering,

0:37:40.840 --> 0:37:42.719
<v Speaker 1>or you go to work and you don't give it

0:37:42.760 --> 0:37:46.359
<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent because you can't because you're tired. These

0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:50.919
<v Speaker 1>are all important issues, So start from scratch. And find

0:37:51.040 --> 0:37:54.359
<v Speaker 1>what's causing the snort. I mean, if you can ear

0:37:54.440 --> 0:37:57.400
<v Speaker 1>plugs those things, try.

0:37:57.200 --> 0:38:00.600
<v Speaker 2>All these so sexy and your you know, there's the other.

0:38:00.440 --> 0:38:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Thing that's easily happened in the seventy sixty and seventy

0:38:03.239 --> 0:38:05.200
<v Speaker 1>year old. Really did you see though? That?

0:38:05.239 --> 0:38:07.880
<v Speaker 2>She said, she kind of likes it that it's not

0:38:08.040 --> 0:38:10.600
<v Speaker 2>all him, and then later she said, but I'd like

0:38:10.640 --> 0:38:13.799
<v Speaker 2>to share that. I think anonymous, your feeling can select him.

0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:17.080
<v Speaker 2>I feel you're feeling conflicted. On the one hand, you know,

0:38:17.160 --> 0:38:19.600
<v Speaker 2>you like your good rest, but I really think the

0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:22.960
<v Speaker 2>issue here is get him checked out. If there's something

0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:26.200
<v Speaker 2>that medically can be done, that's what I would do.

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:30.479
<v Speaker 2>And when athogs, and just in the other.

0:38:30.400 --> 0:38:33.320
<v Speaker 1>One, how about five days a week during the school

0:38:33.360 --> 0:38:35.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean the school week, the work work great, and

0:38:35.719 --> 0:38:38.480
<v Speaker 1>then the weekends are you know you do well?

0:38:38.600 --> 0:38:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Let me ask you wait, let me ask you another

0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:43.319
<v Speaker 2>question that she has not thought of. What happens when

0:38:43.320 --> 0:38:45.960
<v Speaker 2>the kids come? You can't roll over and tap them go.

0:38:46.040 --> 0:38:48.120
<v Speaker 2>It's your turn to get up because he's in the

0:38:48.160 --> 0:38:48.680
<v Speaker 2>other room.

0:38:48.960 --> 0:38:54.120
<v Speaker 1>But that's a problem in his room unless he's breast

0:38:54.280 --> 0:38:56.360
<v Speaker 1>and lock your door when you go to sleep.

0:38:56.360 --> 0:39:02.000
<v Speaker 2>So when the kids are coming mommy daddy. I feel sick.

0:39:01.360 --> 0:39:03.000
<v Speaker 2>They gotta go to Daddy.

0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I totally get why you wrote in because it is something.

0:39:06.680 --> 0:39:09.359
<v Speaker 1>It's a little early for that to happen, and I

0:39:09.480 --> 0:39:11.520
<v Speaker 1>hope you guys get to the bottom of it and

0:39:11.560 --> 0:39:12.920
<v Speaker 1>figure it out at least.

0:39:13.280 --> 0:39:16.360
<v Speaker 2>And by the way, congratulations on your wedding. On your marriage,

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:19.080
<v Speaker 2>I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness.

0:39:20.000 --> 0:39:22.000
<v Speaker 1>When you travel and there's one bed in the room,

0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:23.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm sure.

0:39:23.160 --> 0:39:26.640
<v Speaker 2>They ask for two queens and she can hear them,

0:39:27.040 --> 0:39:30.279
<v Speaker 2>and they get up grumpy and they go home.

0:39:31.120 --> 0:39:33.800
<v Speaker 1>Anonymous, we wish you the best, but try to figure

0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:42.560
<v Speaker 1>it out, okay.

0:39:43.080 --> 0:39:47.680
<v Speaker 2>Question four is from Aurora, and she says, Hi, Kathy

0:39:47.719 --> 0:39:50.759
<v Speaker 2>and Susan, I love you too so much. You have

0:39:50.880 --> 0:39:54.200
<v Speaker 2>so much experience and insight into life. I wanted to

0:39:54.239 --> 0:39:57.680
<v Speaker 2>ask your opinion on my current situation. I've been with

0:39:57.719 --> 0:40:01.240
<v Speaker 2>my boyfriend for almost three years. Things have been mostly

0:40:01.280 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 2>great between us, save a few hiccups centered around small

0:40:04.640 --> 0:40:08.360
<v Speaker 2>arguments here and there. Long story short, my mom doesn't

0:40:08.560 --> 0:40:10.880
<v Speaker 2>like him. She doesn't have much of a reason, in

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:14.120
<v Speaker 2>my opinion, but I can't help that her disapproval ends

0:40:14.200 --> 0:40:17.040
<v Speaker 2>up making me question whether I'm in a relationship that

0:40:17.080 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 2>can stand the test of time if she and him

0:40:19.640 --> 0:40:22.759
<v Speaker 2>can't get along. My mom and myself have had a

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:29.320
<v Speaker 2>somewhat contentious relationship ourselves, mostly due to her poor choices

0:40:29.719 --> 0:40:31.880
<v Speaker 2>in staying with a man that wasn't good to my

0:40:32.000 --> 0:40:35.279
<v Speaker 2>brother and me and ultimately choosing her marriage to my

0:40:35.360 --> 0:40:39.919
<v Speaker 2>stepmother or a stepfather over her two kids. Anyway, back

0:40:39.960 --> 0:40:42.680
<v Speaker 2>to the issue, I'm just going to interrupt myself here, Aurora,

0:40:42.960 --> 0:40:47.040
<v Speaker 2>that is the issue. Okay, back to the issue at hand.

0:40:47.239 --> 0:40:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Can I truly count on and commit to a relationship

0:40:50.040 --> 0:40:53.000
<v Speaker 2>when my mother doesn't approve of him? How would either

0:40:53.040 --> 0:40:55.400
<v Speaker 2>of you feel in my shoes? Do I trust my

0:40:55.400 --> 0:40:58.640
<v Speaker 2>own judgment and continue on with this relationship or read

0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:02.280
<v Speaker 2>more into my mom's disapate approval. I would genuinely appreciate

0:41:02.320 --> 0:41:05.279
<v Speaker 2>your perspectives. You two are the best. Thank you so

0:41:05.560 --> 0:41:08.640
<v Speaker 2>very much in advance for any advice you have to

0:41:08.800 --> 0:41:09.600
<v Speaker 2>send my way.

0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:16.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, I want to know what her mother's

0:41:17.120 --> 0:41:21.680
<v Speaker 1>judgment and issues are. As she's stating important facts about

0:41:21.719 --> 0:41:25.520
<v Speaker 1>what's something that she's seeing the way he's treating her daughter, like,

0:41:25.680 --> 0:41:28.759
<v Speaker 1>what is it? This is a pretty general she just

0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:33.560
<v Speaker 1>doesn't disapprove. But there's a reason someone wouldn't disapprove I mean,

0:41:33.600 --> 0:41:38.160
<v Speaker 1>would disapprove am I right, not always that she just

0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:42.360
<v Speaker 1>don't like them. Well, that's possibility, Yes, I ask yourself.

0:41:42.840 --> 0:41:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Why is she saying this? Well, because sometimes when we're

0:41:46.560 --> 0:41:50.000
<v Speaker 1>falling in love, love is blind, baby, we don't see

0:41:50.040 --> 0:41:52.160
<v Speaker 1>the red flags you would for me.

0:41:52.200 --> 0:41:54.360
<v Speaker 2>And guess what when you see the red flags and

0:41:54.400 --> 0:41:55.960
<v Speaker 2>someone else tells you don't pay attention.

0:41:56.239 --> 0:41:58.320
<v Speaker 1>This is true, but you bring it to their attention

0:41:58.400 --> 0:42:01.400
<v Speaker 1>and it gets in their head and they will notice eventually.

0:42:01.520 --> 0:42:05.239
<v Speaker 1>It takes a long time, But there's that other than that.

0:42:05.520 --> 0:42:10.080
<v Speaker 2>Wait a second, My mom have had a contentious relationship

0:42:10.560 --> 0:42:12.640
<v Speaker 2>due to her poor choices.

0:42:13.040 --> 0:42:13.279
<v Speaker 1>Why.

0:42:13.400 --> 0:42:15.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't mean to be rude here, Aurora, but if

0:42:15.840 --> 0:42:19.239
<v Speaker 2>your mom has made poor choices and stayed with a

0:42:19.320 --> 0:42:23.000
<v Speaker 2>man who didn't treat you and your brother, well, really,

0:42:23.520 --> 0:42:28.600
<v Speaker 2>you're going to value her opinion over your own feelings.

0:42:28.800 --> 0:42:31.120
<v Speaker 2>This is your life, Aurora. You need to learn your

0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:35.600
<v Speaker 2>own lessons. You need to do what makes you happy,

0:42:35.800 --> 0:42:37.759
<v Speaker 2>and if it doesn't work out, you have no one

0:42:37.800 --> 0:42:42.440
<v Speaker 2>to blame but yourself, not your mom is your mom.

0:42:43.040 --> 0:42:48.800
<v Speaker 1>And I've seen cases like this where people the kids

0:42:48.920 --> 0:42:51.880
<v Speaker 1>don't like the stepdad and there might be nothing wrong

0:42:51.920 --> 0:42:55.719
<v Speaker 1>with him, they just don't care for him. She's claiming

0:42:56.000 --> 0:42:59.560
<v Speaker 1>that he didn't treat them well and she chose him

0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:04.920
<v Speaker 1>over them. We don't know exactly. It's that there was

0:43:04.960 --> 0:43:06.640
<v Speaker 1>some issue that's a big.

0:43:07.080 --> 0:43:09.200
<v Speaker 2>That's what I think. That's why I interrupted when I

0:43:09.239 --> 0:43:12.120
<v Speaker 2>read the question. I think, Rora, there's more to this

0:43:12.640 --> 0:43:17.040
<v Speaker 2>relationship and more to this story than she simply doesn't

0:43:17.160 --> 0:43:20.520
<v Speaker 2>like him. It may be tainted, she may just have

0:43:20.680 --> 0:43:24.520
<v Speaker 2>issues around who knows what, But I think you have

0:43:24.560 --> 0:43:26.440
<v Speaker 2>to trust your own gut, trust your own heart. I'm

0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:29.279
<v Speaker 2>going to tell you a little story. When I met

0:43:29.280 --> 0:43:34.360
<v Speaker 2>my husband, my mother in law and father in law,

0:43:34.840 --> 0:43:39.080
<v Speaker 2>God rest their souls did not like me. They did

0:43:39.160 --> 0:43:41.319
<v Speaker 2>not like me. My husband and I were married for

0:43:41.360 --> 0:43:45.120
<v Speaker 2>almost forty six years. My in laws had their own

0:43:45.520 --> 0:43:49.480
<v Speaker 2>really tough marriage issues, in fidelity, all kinds of things,

0:43:50.040 --> 0:43:55.719
<v Speaker 2>and I couldn't fight it. They just never liked me,

0:43:55.880 --> 0:43:58.400
<v Speaker 2>and yet we were married for forty six years.

0:43:58.440 --> 0:44:02.160
<v Speaker 1>So what did you do? What did you do about it?

0:44:02.200 --> 0:44:04.399
<v Speaker 1>Did it bother you that they didn't care for you?

0:44:04.800 --> 0:44:05.719
<v Speaker 1>Did you speak up?

0:44:05.760 --> 0:44:08.399
<v Speaker 2>Did you try to I spoke to my husband about it.

0:44:08.600 --> 0:44:13.759
<v Speaker 2>I my husband once said to them, you know, they

0:44:13.760 --> 0:44:16.279
<v Speaker 2>didn't change. He once said to them, Kathy and I

0:44:16.320 --> 0:44:17.680
<v Speaker 2>have been married. I don't know at the time, it

0:44:17.719 --> 0:44:20.920
<v Speaker 2>was like thirty five years. We've been married thirty five years.

0:44:21.400 --> 0:44:23.480
<v Speaker 2>Do you think you need to get over it and

0:44:23.600 --> 0:44:25.520
<v Speaker 2>start I love her? Do you think maybe you need

0:44:25.560 --> 0:44:26.680
<v Speaker 2>to get over it and start loving it?

0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:32.719
<v Speaker 1>Don't believe beginning beg when you knew they didn't like you,

0:44:32.719 --> 0:44:35.319
<v Speaker 1>you never went to her and talked say what is it?

0:44:35.440 --> 0:44:35.960
<v Speaker 1>What is it? Oh?

0:44:35.960 --> 0:44:37.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, yes I did, and she would say, oh, no,

0:44:37.880 --> 0:44:41.359
<v Speaker 2>we do. We do. But you know she didn't and

0:44:41.400 --> 0:44:43.560
<v Speaker 2>it was very clear. I'm not going to get into details,

0:44:43.600 --> 0:44:46.680
<v Speaker 2>but trust me, it was very clear that they didn't

0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:47.160
<v Speaker 2>like me.

0:44:47.640 --> 0:44:51.480
<v Speaker 1>And their marriage lasted forever. So an our statement, Yes,

0:44:51.520 --> 0:44:52.120
<v Speaker 1>that's what I'm saying.

0:44:52.160 --> 0:44:56.640
<v Speaker 2>So, so, Aurora, do what makes your heart sing and

0:44:57.000 --> 0:44:59.200
<v Speaker 2>if it, if it doesn't work out, guess what. It's

0:44:59.239 --> 0:45:02.520
<v Speaker 2>not because your mother didn't like him. It's because you

0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:06.719
<v Speaker 2>and your boyfriend went ultimately down different paths. But be

0:45:06.800 --> 0:45:07.920
<v Speaker 2>respectful to your mom.

0:45:08.400 --> 0:45:11.080
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, but or even have a conversation and figure

0:45:11.120 --> 0:45:13.200
<v Speaker 1>it out. Why mom, why do you feel like this

0:45:13.320 --> 0:45:17.720
<v Speaker 1>about him. And another important thing that is in my mind.

0:45:19.239 --> 0:45:23.320
<v Speaker 1>Does your mom realize how you and your brother felt

0:45:23.920 --> 0:45:29.240
<v Speaker 1>about the stepdad? You know, she's claiming her story right now.

0:45:29.640 --> 0:45:32.160
<v Speaker 1>There's two sides to every story. Not that I'm putting

0:45:32.160 --> 0:45:34.800
<v Speaker 1>you down. I'm glad you wrote in and I'm wishing

0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:37.399
<v Speaker 1>you all the best. But open your eyes and take

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:40.839
<v Speaker 1>a clear picture of everything around you. But do what

0:45:41.000 --> 0:45:45.000
<v Speaker 1>makes you happy. Mom can't control that, you know what

0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:49.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean? All right, now, we're gonna play you ready,

0:45:49.520 --> 0:45:54.280
<v Speaker 1>gat what would you rather? We're gonna switch off reading

0:45:54.320 --> 0:45:56.719
<v Speaker 1>the prompt and we're both going to answer it, and

0:45:56.800 --> 0:46:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I'll start us off. So never been able to use

0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:05.320
<v Speaker 1>your phone again or be unable to have physical touch

0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:13.000
<v Speaker 1>with another person for a year? You know what? I

0:46:13.080 --> 0:46:15.520
<v Speaker 1>know this girl named Susan, and she always says, no,

0:46:15.640 --> 0:46:17.919
<v Speaker 1>you're not answering for me, You're answering for you.

0:46:17.920 --> 0:46:21.719
<v Speaker 2>You didn't let me finish. I'm adopting her answer. She

0:46:21.760 --> 0:46:25.960
<v Speaker 2>always says both. I'm I'm saying neither. I couldn't do

0:46:26.040 --> 0:46:26.840
<v Speaker 2>either one of those.

0:46:27.160 --> 0:46:27.480
<v Speaker 1>I could.

0:46:28.960 --> 0:46:30.920
<v Speaker 2>No. I know you're going to say you could not

0:46:31.080 --> 0:46:32.160
<v Speaker 2>use your phone?

0:46:32.400 --> 0:46:34.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Absolutely, I want.

0:46:34.280 --> 0:46:37.040
<v Speaker 2>To be able to say that, Susan, but think about it.

0:46:37.160 --> 0:46:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I need to be able to hear from my children

0:46:39.640 --> 0:46:40.880
<v Speaker 2>in the romantic world.

0:46:41.000 --> 0:46:42.359
<v Speaker 1>I would say, to pick one.

0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:46.960
<v Speaker 2>You know what, pad wings sayd fly, I can't pick.

0:46:46.800 --> 0:46:48.560
<v Speaker 1>One, all right? Take the next one, all right?

0:46:48.600 --> 0:46:52.160
<v Speaker 2>The next one is oh, it had my word in it.

0:46:52.680 --> 0:46:57.239
<v Speaker 2>Would you rather have an unlimited supply of wine but

0:46:57.480 --> 0:46:59.840
<v Speaker 2>only be able to drink it from a sippy cup?

0:47:00.480 --> 0:47:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Or a lifetime supply of coffee but it's always lukewarm?

0:47:04.160 --> 0:47:07.440
<v Speaker 2>There's no brainer. I take the wine, lukewarm coffee.

0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:10.520
<v Speaker 1>Warm coffee is gross. That was a no brainer. You're right.

0:47:10.800 --> 0:47:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Have a partner who's amazing in the kitchen but terrible

0:47:14.120 --> 0:47:17.880
<v Speaker 1>in bed, oh god, or great in bed but can't

0:47:17.920 --> 0:47:20.000
<v Speaker 1>make a single meal. That's fine, I'll cook.

0:47:21.800 --> 0:47:24.239
<v Speaker 2>And I just said, while you're reading, I'm going, well,

0:47:24.280 --> 0:47:28.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm the ladder. Great in bed, can't cook. I mean

0:47:28.760 --> 0:47:32.920
<v Speaker 2>that's an easy one too. We gotta get. Would you

0:47:33.080 --> 0:47:38.520
<v Speaker 2>rather have the hiccups during an important meeting or sneeze

0:47:38.640 --> 0:47:44.800
<v Speaker 2>uncontrollably during a first date? Since I don't work, I'm sneezing.

0:47:47.880 --> 0:47:51.239
<v Speaker 1>What about you? I said, hiccups. I'd rather have the hiccups,

0:47:52.400 --> 0:47:55.440
<v Speaker 1>all right, have a public fight with your ex on

0:47:55.640 --> 0:48:00.839
<v Speaker 1>social media, or accidentally send an embarrassing text to one

0:48:00.840 --> 0:48:03.400
<v Speaker 1>of your kids that was meant for your partner.

0:48:03.640 --> 0:48:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, let me just say, let me just say, you

0:48:06.520 --> 0:48:09.640
<v Speaker 2>know what, I'm writing the rules here. I would never

0:48:10.200 --> 0:48:14.160
<v Speaker 2>have a public fight with anyone on social media ever,

0:48:14.360 --> 0:48:17.600
<v Speaker 2>So so you know, I'm pleading.

0:48:17.680 --> 0:48:20.400
<v Speaker 1>I would not want to accidentally send either what ext

0:48:20.920 --> 0:48:21.600
<v Speaker 1>So we're moving on.

0:48:21.640 --> 0:48:23.040
<v Speaker 2>We're not doing that one, all right.

0:48:23.080 --> 0:48:26.600
<v Speaker 1>God we suck? Okay, all right? Have to share your

0:48:26.800 --> 0:48:32.160
<v Speaker 1>search history or our text meaning Susan and Kathy, Okay,

0:48:32.480 --> 0:48:35.279
<v Speaker 1>text with each other with your first date.

0:48:36.360 --> 0:48:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I'd share my text with you with I mean

0:48:38.840 --> 0:48:41.640
<v Speaker 2>our text with the first you know what our text

0:48:41.760 --> 0:48:43.560
<v Speaker 2>usually are, Susan, call me.

0:48:43.560 --> 0:48:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Back, help me pick this up? What should I wear? Susan?

0:48:47.520 --> 0:48:50.160
<v Speaker 2>Are you cooking tonight? Our text? If we are talking

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:53.000
<v Speaker 2>about stuff, it's on the phone, it's where nobody can

0:48:53.040 --> 0:48:57.759
<v Speaker 2>record us. Or it's not it's not in you know, imprinted.

0:48:57.280 --> 0:49:00.279
<v Speaker 1>For how do I say this in French? What? Yeah?

0:49:00.360 --> 0:49:07.799
<v Speaker 2>Really? Almost Francis, which is how do you say in Spanish?

0:49:07.920 --> 0:49:10.040
<v Speaker 1>That's what we were doing? Okay, take the next one,

0:49:10.200 --> 0:49:10.560
<v Speaker 1>all right?

0:49:11.760 --> 0:49:16.480
<v Speaker 2>Would you rather be perpetually stuck in an awkward elevator

0:49:16.560 --> 0:49:21.080
<v Speaker 2>ride with your ex or before what, or be forced

0:49:21.120 --> 0:49:24.799
<v Speaker 2>to share a bed with your least favorite past coworker

0:49:24.880 --> 0:49:25.560
<v Speaker 2>for a week.

0:49:25.960 --> 0:49:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I'll take that elevator with me.

0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I'll take that elevator all day long, all day long.

0:49:31.239 --> 0:49:34.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Sit in a puddle and it looks like you

0:49:34.239 --> 0:49:38.680
<v Speaker 1>peed your pants, or actually pee your pants, get away

0:49:38.719 --> 0:49:39.839
<v Speaker 1>with it unnoticed?

0:49:39.960 --> 0:49:42.479
<v Speaker 2>I mean, can I just say this happened to Susan

0:49:42.480 --> 0:49:43.440
<v Speaker 2>while we're on vacation.

0:49:43.600 --> 0:49:45.920
<v Speaker 1>So I peed my pants when I leave to ord?

0:49:47.360 --> 0:49:48.600
<v Speaker 2>You know there's surgery for that.

0:49:49.080 --> 0:49:50.680
<v Speaker 1>No, I did it. I don't see anymore.

0:49:50.719 --> 0:49:57.240
<v Speaker 2>But yes, oh really you didn't pee. You're on vacation, crying, laughing. Okay,

0:49:57.320 --> 0:50:00.480
<v Speaker 2>so you do pee when you have sometimes not the

0:50:00.520 --> 0:50:03.720
<v Speaker 2>world wants to know? Okay, all right? Would you rather

0:50:04.680 --> 0:50:08.480
<v Speaker 2>call out your oooh since? Would you rather call out

0:50:08.520 --> 0:50:12.280
<v Speaker 2>your boyfriend for cheating and be wrong or be cheated

0:50:12.320 --> 0:50:15.399
<v Speaker 2>on once but you never find out about it.

0:50:16.000 --> 0:50:21.319
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't want to know. I wouldn't want to know.

0:50:23.640 --> 0:50:26.239
<v Speaker 2>I think if it was calling out my boyfriend for

0:50:26.360 --> 0:50:28.040
<v Speaker 2>cheating and I was wrong.

0:50:28.400 --> 0:50:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I.

0:50:30.000 --> 0:50:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be

0:50:33.080 --> 0:50:33.600
<v Speaker 2>cheated on.

0:50:34.200 --> 0:50:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, you would never know, So what you don't know,

0:50:36.920 --> 0:50:42.319
<v Speaker 1>don't hurt you. That's an easy one. Okay, burp in

0:50:42.400 --> 0:50:46.960
<v Speaker 1>your dates. Oh man, he tries to kiss you, now, God,

0:50:47.320 --> 0:50:51.279
<v Speaker 1>or try to pass off your guess on your boyfriend's

0:50:51.320 --> 0:50:52.960
<v Speaker 1>dog and totally get caught.

0:50:53.120 --> 0:51:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Blaw, I'm all with that woof woof ooh, oh my god. I'

0:51:01.719 --> 0:51:05.879
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna pass off You're gonna I mean, excuse me.

0:51:07.120 --> 0:51:10.040
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna burp in the Oh no, you're not. I'll

0:51:10.080 --> 0:51:14.000
<v Speaker 1>blame the dog. I'll blame the dog. You're mixing the two?

0:51:16.400 --> 0:51:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean, what are you gonna do? Should happen? Sometimes

0:51:18.920 --> 0:51:23.480
<v Speaker 1>you have the belch Why the guy's trying to kiss you? Well, no,

0:51:23.719 --> 0:51:26.359
<v Speaker 1>like maybe he's on his way. Excuse me, I don't know.

0:51:26.400 --> 0:51:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't your's face when he tries me to kiss

0:51:31.840 --> 0:51:33.919
<v Speaker 1>I probably try to blame the dog.

0:51:34.360 --> 0:51:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm definitely blaming the What if he doesn't have a dog,

0:51:38.280 --> 0:51:39.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm still blaming the dog.

0:51:40.440 --> 0:51:44.279
<v Speaker 1>Did you do you smell that? E? Did you for it?

0:51:44.360 --> 0:51:48.000
<v Speaker 2>And what your plants? Your plants are excreting something?

0:51:48.280 --> 0:51:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Blame my partner you for what?

0:51:50.680 --> 0:51:53.239
<v Speaker 2>Is that so disgusting?

0:51:54.120 --> 0:51:56.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God, I can't believe it. But that does

0:51:56.680 --> 0:51:59.480
<v Speaker 1>it for today's episode. Key, these things are flying by.

0:51:59.520 --> 0:52:01.440
<v Speaker 1>Are we just having fun or what? I think?

0:52:01.440 --> 0:52:02.759
<v Speaker 2>We're having a lot of fun. But you know what

0:52:02.880 --> 0:52:05.560
<v Speaker 2>I want other people. I hope that other people are

0:52:05.680 --> 0:52:08.560
<v Speaker 2>laughing with us, because you know what we've learned, life

0:52:08.600 --> 0:52:11.600
<v Speaker 2>is short. You better laugh and have fun along the way.

0:52:11.800 --> 0:52:15.120
<v Speaker 1>Enjoy the ride. And that does it for this episode

0:52:15.120 --> 0:52:17.879
<v Speaker 1>of Bachelor Happy Hours. Golden Hour, thank you so much

0:52:17.920 --> 0:52:21.279
<v Speaker 1>for tuning in, and I hope that you guys are

0:52:21.400 --> 0:52:23.080
<v Speaker 1>enjoying it as much as we are.

0:52:23.520 --> 0:52:26.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you have not tuned in. First of all,

0:52:26.040 --> 0:52:28.560
<v Speaker 2>if you're listening to this, you are tuned in. But

0:52:28.920 --> 0:52:31.719
<v Speaker 2>tell your friends, your neighbors, your aunts, your uncle's be

0:52:31.920 --> 0:52:35.279
<v Speaker 2>sure to tune in to Bachelor Happy Hour because we

0:52:35.360 --> 0:52:37.160
<v Speaker 2>have new episodes.

0:52:36.640 --> 0:52:37.280
<v Speaker 1>All the time.

0:52:37.400 --> 0:52:39.720
<v Speaker 2>And who would want to miss this talking about burping

0:52:39.800 --> 0:52:41.680
<v Speaker 2>and farty, I don't know who'd want to miss this.

0:52:42.320 --> 0:52:45.040
<v Speaker 1>And don't forget to submit your questions to us. You

0:52:45.080 --> 0:52:48.319
<v Speaker 1>can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or

0:52:48.840 --> 0:52:52.200
<v Speaker 1>just dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. It's easy.

0:52:52.680 --> 0:52:56.160
<v Speaker 2>It's easy, so easy. In the meantime, listen to Bachelor

0:52:56.239 --> 0:52:59.839
<v Speaker 2>Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or where

0:53:00.000 --> 0:53:02.839
<v Speaker 2>where you listen to podcasts. Until next time, Take care

0:53:03.360 --> 0:53:03.759
<v Speaker 2>for now

0:53:07.840 --> 0:53:08.239
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm