Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. We are the show
Speaker 1: that brings you the hard hitting topics that you don't
Speaker 1: think it hard, but we know. Do you know? It's
Speaker 1: a big opinions about small things. It's things that make
Speaker 1: us upset that you probably haven't even thought of. We
Speaker 1: go against each other every episode. I'm Josh Johnson, right
Speaker 1: for The Daily Show, joined by Dulce Sloan, correspondent for
Speaker 1: The Daily Show and one of the best friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I am yeah, I mean, wow, I guess, I guess
Speaker 1: if you have to ask, then like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes you realize that, like the way you
Speaker 1: think about people is it always the way they think
Speaker 1: about you. So like, I consider you one of my
Speaker 1: best friends, but you're always glad to hear it when
Speaker 1: somebody says it out loud. The confirmation is nice. I
Speaker 1: get you because honestly, this is this is the other
Speaker 1: thing I've watched it happen at real time where it's like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: that's my best friend that he's like, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're cool. It's listen. I was sitting there, I was
Speaker 1: on a show. Me and a friend of mine had
Speaker 1: gone to see, um, it's to share. Zamata and Nicole
Speaker 1: Buyer used to do an improv show together in l A.
Speaker 1: I think like U C. D. Franklin, and they're very
Speaker 1: They're so good at it and they work really well together.
Speaker 1: It was great to watch. But I was sitting with
Speaker 1: a friend of mine and they at one point they
Speaker 1: were like, clap it up if you're here with your
Speaker 1: best friend, and neither one of us clapped, and we
Speaker 1: started laughing, Uh, because we're because like at that time,
Speaker 1: we weren't like tight like that. But neither one of
Speaker 1: us clapped, and we were like, a ha ha. So
Speaker 1: I think it was great that we both acknowledged that
Speaker 1: we weren't each other's best friend. Now, we probably wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that, but like at the time it was great
Speaker 1: because I'm right, and our our best friend was a
Speaker 1: mutual friend. So this friend between that could get harry. No,
Speaker 1: it's fine because now we're just all best friends together. Um,
Speaker 1: but at the time, it's like we shared a best friend,
Speaker 1: but then we weren't best friends. So now we're all
Speaker 1: best friends, which we gotta call it. But she's got
Speaker 1: the rona. I mean, I hope she's all right, She's fine.
Speaker 1: They got this new pill that came out. Um, and
Speaker 1: have you ever heard about this anti viral pill they're
Speaker 1: giving people now for the Ronnie I I heard of it.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it had been approved and people were
Speaker 1: popping it. Oh, yeah, she's got it in are in
Speaker 1: you know the all best friend who was firmly just
Speaker 1: part best friend. Uh she had best friend. She has
Speaker 1: it too, so they're both on it. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: a trip. But yes, we are best friends. We could
Speaker 1: have called this best friends. But again, Nicole Buyer and
Speaker 1: so years the main I have already taken that title.
Speaker 1: So so what a what a segue? It's a hold up,
Speaker 1: that is what this says. Um. What was this week with,
Speaker 1: you know, not news about the war? Uh? A war
Speaker 1: still there is. There's still a war pandemic. You know,
Speaker 1: even though we accidentally just gave you an update on
Speaker 1: pills that came out. We come to you today with
Speaker 1: a fierce debate that both of us feel pretty strongly
Speaker 1: about exercise bikes versus bike rides, so at home bikes
Speaker 1: versus cycling out in the world. Okay, now listen, what
Speaker 1: side are you on? I'll tell you right now. I'm
Speaker 1: on the side of bike rides out in the world. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am on this side of indoor bikes as someone
Speaker 1: who works in this industry. My face is very important,
Speaker 1: and I have been on a bike as an adult.
Speaker 1: It was very worried about my face the entire time.
Speaker 1: When you're riding a bikes in your neighbhood as a kid,
Speaker 1: like I would do this. Like sometimes like if I
Speaker 1: was on my bike, like and my mom would come
Speaker 1: home from work, I would like try to raise my
Speaker 1: mom while she was in the car. This woman had
Speaker 1: every ability to beat me. She's in a car, but
Speaker 1: she would always like be like, ah, you almost got me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I looked at her, was like,
Speaker 1: you can go a hundred miles an hour. I don't
Speaker 1: want to play this game with you. She's like, not
Speaker 1: in his neighborhood. I'm like, you're right, But like riding
Speaker 1: a bike as a kid one, your body is way
Speaker 1: more uh, your body is younger, your body is more supple. Okay,
Speaker 1: you bounced back, Like I still have a scar on
Speaker 1: my right arm from falling off a bike, like you
Speaker 1: still we all have like falling off bikes, cars and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But like if you fell off a
Speaker 1: bike in your neighborhood. It wasn't like detrimental, but like
Speaker 1: we both know grown adults in New York. The number
Speaker 1: of people that I know that have been and they
Speaker 1: said they were hit by a parked car, which the
Speaker 1: logistics on that don't make any sense to me. I
Speaker 1: a hairstylist who someone on a bike ran into her
Speaker 1: and broke her arm, and I was like, how fucking fast?
Speaker 1: What's someone going on a bike? So it's like, but
Speaker 1: to think about it, like the number of times you
Speaker 1: try to call like that bike lane in New York,
Speaker 1: like trying to get out of a car or trying
Speaker 1: to cross the street, it's suckers are lawless. They're trying
Speaker 1: to take you out. Then there's the electric bikes now,
Speaker 1: which is just like a fancy moped. I don't care
Speaker 1: what anybody says, but like I know people that's like
Speaker 1: remember the dude broke we know who broke both of
Speaker 1: his elbows. It was basically in half a hula hoop
Speaker 1: for yes, yes, right, yeah, So this losers and a
Speaker 1: half a lulu because he didn't want to take a car.
Speaker 1: He thought he was still good for the subway. I
Speaker 1: mean the subway as a hellhole that should be again
Speaker 1: filled with concrete and ended immediately. But it's like like
Speaker 1: you're coming from a place of fear right now. I'm not.
Speaker 1: It's not about fear. It's I have seen too many
Speaker 1: people have died on a bike, too many people, because
Speaker 1: like there's a childhood nostalgi of like going to the
Speaker 1: corner store or whatever. Like I had fun riding bikes
Speaker 1: as a kid, but I was also in a suburban neighborhood.
Speaker 1: We were riding down like streets that didn't have people
Speaker 1: roaring down them. We were riding through cold the sacks.
Speaker 1: We were like in nice area with people are decent jobs,
Speaker 1: Like I wasn't delivering food in the city. Like it's
Speaker 1: just like once you put a bike in a city,
Speaker 1: the whole game changes. Okay, but I think that you're
Speaker 1: assuming I'm talking about just riding bikes in New York.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about outdoor cycling. I'm talking about being in nature,
Speaker 1: being one with with the elements. Okay, feel like exercise stuff, huh,
Speaker 1: some of like riding trails and stuff. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: any bike riding outside. You know, exercise bikes they're limited, Okay,
Speaker 1: they don't actually give you the full bike ride experience.
Speaker 1: You're doing all that pedalan to go nowhere, You're doing
Speaker 1: all that pedlan to get off and still be in
Speaker 1: your living room. You're not talking about biking in the
Speaker 1: city because we both know that's a dangerous, dangerous situation.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking about all of it. I I
Speaker 1: see some people bike in the city. That impressed me
Speaker 1: very much. Now maybe they get card door it once
Speaker 1: a year, but there are people that have navigated this
Speaker 1: city with a bike the entire year. You anytime you
Speaker 1: order food, that's usually a bike. There's usually a dude
Speaker 1: on a bike living a fast lane lifestyle, or a
Speaker 1: little man on a little like little scooter vest but
Speaker 1: kind of situation to be little. No, he's not little.
Speaker 1: The thing is a little Oh I thought you were
Speaker 1: saying a little man all a little vest. But both
Speaker 1: have to be little because that's the man who were
Speaker 1: too big to be on him. And that's my favorite.
Speaker 1: There's nothing like a man that's too big to be
Speaker 1: all the bike he's on like he he loved his bike,
Speaker 1: so much of this is his biker when he was
Speaker 1: fifteen and now he's thirty three and he's he's huge.
Speaker 1: You don't even know how the pedals keep working. Some
Speaker 1: of these bikes are really expensive because when my friends,
Speaker 1: like I got a twelve on dollar bike and I
Speaker 1: was like, bitch, where are you going? Where are you going?
Speaker 1: It's a bike, it's a bike. Also, are you an avenger? Like?
Speaker 1: How are you? How are you need to get there?
Speaker 1: On a bike? That's that stylish? That that does that
Speaker 1: sleek twelve hundred American twelve hunter and things a stack
Speaker 1: and some change a stack and some change stack in
Speaker 1: two C notes bike for a bike for a b
Speaker 1: and where are you going? Where are you going? Man?
Speaker 1: But where are you going? Because you don't need gas?
Speaker 1: So where are you going? Where are you going? Girl?
Speaker 1: It was nuts and I'm just like okay, um, but
Speaker 1: like I understand it's more places need It's just it's yes,
Speaker 1: it is fear, it is danger, but it's like because
Speaker 1: like those people who like bikes, like one of my friends,
Speaker 1: he is really into like BMX riding and he has
Speaker 1: his whole trail. Um, I should really find it because
Speaker 1: it's it's nice. Um to be a max trail is nice,
Speaker 1: So the bike is nice. Well, he has multiple bikes?
Speaker 1: Is be a Max trail. Um, he's one of my
Speaker 1: good friends. I should I should promote his business. If
Speaker 1: you're in uh the Great state of Georgia, Georgian, you
Speaker 1: need a bike, yest's go to Jared's place bike park.
Speaker 1: Uh hey, hey, if you didn't think I was gonna
Speaker 1: get on here and promote my friends, you got your
Speaker 1: damn mine. Also, the last time I was on here,
Speaker 1: I should have promoted the one woman should I'm producing,
Speaker 1: Don't Reach in the Bag is written by and starring
Speaker 1: with Shark. So that's my own fault. Um, it's my
Speaker 1: own fault. It's my own fault. But it's uh so
Speaker 1: because he liked it, my friends started dating him. Well,
Speaker 1: his wife, who ever, became friends with Lace Larity, who's
Speaker 1: an amazing comic. She had to get into bikes because
Speaker 1: he was in the bikes, and then her face was
Speaker 1: constantly in danger. The number of times she's been scratched up,
Speaker 1: cut up, the number of times he's sprained something or
Speaker 1: hurt something, because it's like once bikes aren't on flat land.
Speaker 1: M h. That's also scary because he's just like, all,
Speaker 1: let me ride through this mountain on this on these
Speaker 1: skinny two wheels. I'm like, that don't seem good either.
Speaker 1: Mountains are very a very uh angular um, they're very
Speaker 1: much not. This feels like you have a point, but
Speaker 1: then you you didn't quite formulate all of the citences
Speaker 1: structure together. So now you know, mountains they got those curves.
Speaker 1: That's hard. Like you've ever gone on like a hiking
Speaker 1: trail you're going hiking before and been like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is very precarious, and that's on the feet that God
Speaker 1: gave you, you understand in So it's like, if it's
Speaker 1: precarious on these two hear feet, it's got to be
Speaker 1: more precarious when I put wheels into it. So it's
Speaker 1: like it's just there's just so much danger. It just
Speaker 1: seems so dangerous to like be in these places. And
Speaker 1: it's not fear, it's precautionary. It is danger. It's me
Speaker 1: wanting to keep my face. All of the teeth that
Speaker 1: you have, all the teeth you're gonna have, you understand,
Speaker 1: that's that's not really true. Lots of people got fake teeth.
Speaker 1: Now that's what I'm about to say. You lost your
Speaker 1: baby teeth and his new teeth came in and like, hey,
Speaker 1: he's the only mouth bones, which is, first of all,
Speaker 1: that's what someone I heard, the one described teeth like that,
Speaker 1: and it sucked me up so bad it makes me
Speaker 1: not want you mouth bones. Teeth are bones, I know,
Speaker 1: but thank you. Isn't it weird? Isn't it weird? So
Speaker 1: this is my thing. This is where I'm I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come at you right now with the line that you
Speaker 1: came at me with. Come on last episode you were like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're not making points for diners. You're over here just
Speaker 1: attacking Wolfhouse. That's I mean, that's how I'm feeling right now.
Speaker 1: You're just talking about the downsides of riding bikes outside.
Speaker 1: I'm not hearing any great points about these exercise bikes
Speaker 1: sitting down looking like clothes racks, looking like low rise
Speaker 1: skirt holders all in American homes holders. Is hilarious. Listen.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that, if you, Ploton seems to have
Speaker 1: changed the game, right, yeah, if you, Because before we
Speaker 1: were just on these stationary bikes watching TV, right yeah, hopefully,
Speaker 1: or trying to read a book, which wild, How are
Speaker 1: you going to read a book when you're Tilton left?
Speaker 1: You can give yourself motion sickness was like you look crazy.
Speaker 1: Imagine if somebody threw up try to trying to read
Speaker 1: Dickens while they get miles in. That's so funny. Read
Speaker 1: great expectations. And just like I've seen the most of
Speaker 1: the number of people, I have seen more than one person,
Speaker 1: which is too many riding a bike through Brooklyn with
Speaker 1: one hand for reading a book. You're riding a bike
Speaker 1: in the street reading a book, and I'm like, who
Speaker 1: is this for? Okay, so let me tell you this
Speaker 1: thing right now. This this will slightly undercut my point,
Speaker 1: but I think that for you and and the listeners,
Speaker 1: you will enjoy it. I was in Brooklyn and this
Speaker 1: is like I can't remember how long I lived every
Speaker 1: by now, but I was in Brooklyn and saw a
Speaker 1: true gift. I saw two different guys, right, so, two
Speaker 1: different individual men on a unicycle one stop, stop stop.
Speaker 1: You have to give me in he's ever listening time
Speaker 1: to create a mental picture of how these humans how
Speaker 1: to people are on a unicycle? Is this a kids
Speaker 1: stacked in a trench coat situation? The two grown hipsters. Well,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is like, because you know we've been
Speaker 1: we we had as a friend, like as a kid
Speaker 1: growing up, you would like if your friend had pegs
Speaker 1: on their bike, like on the back wheels or something,
Speaker 1: or you put like a friend on a handlebars or
Speaker 1: like a younger sibling, like you know, if you have
Speaker 1: like a boy bike. Also, can we talk about the
Speaker 1: fact that the whole distinguishing saying where they change the
Speaker 1: you're like for girl bikes some boy bikes, the bars
Speaker 1: would be different in the middle. It never made sense
Speaker 1: to me why the boy bike had the bar set
Speaker 1: up where something happened it would break the boys testicles.
Speaker 1: What so boy bikes. If you remember, boy bikes had
Speaker 1: the bar that went straight across, and then girl bikes
Speaker 1: had the bar that went that dipped down. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it made more sense to me for the boy bikes
Speaker 1: to have the bar that dipped down because if anything happened,
Speaker 1: like if I hit something, if I hit like a bumper,
Speaker 1: if I fall off my bike, if I get hit
Speaker 1: in the crotch, nothing, some lips might hurt, But I'm
Speaker 1: not breaking things like these boy bikes because like I
Speaker 1: had guy friends growing up, they would run over something
Speaker 1: in their bikes, they would hit something or whatever, and
Speaker 1: like they're straight across bar would cause some problems I
Speaker 1: just not have never made sense. Also, it didn't make
Speaker 1: sense where there be different designs for girl and boy bikes.
Speaker 1: So from what I was told by my grandmother when
Speaker 1: I asked this question when I was little, the dip
Speaker 1: was because, especially back in the day, a lot of
Speaker 1: women would ride bites and skirts, So if they didn't
Speaker 1: have to lift their leg over the bar, and they
Speaker 1: could just lift their legs over the lowered bar, they
Speaker 1: wouldn't flip their skirt in the air, whereas the boys
Speaker 1: always wore pants and jeans, so nobody cares they flipped
Speaker 1: their leg over. Um. Wow, dude, shout out to your grandma. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just Grandma's be knowing stuff. She's a blessing, truly coll Her,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, um, because when I asked my mother
Speaker 1: she was like, girl, I don't know. We moved back
Speaker 1: to Miami. I was like nine and seeing grown men
Speaker 1: sell weed on a bike. But it was never an adult.
Speaker 1: It was always a child's bike and it was always
Speaker 1: a little girl's bike. Look at it, So you're thinking
Speaker 1: of a grown man. Imagine trick Daddy, right, No, I
Speaker 1: saw growing up. Yeah, trick Daddy on a bike with
Speaker 1: the tassels with the tassels and he's in a wife
Speaker 1: the long the long jean shorts. It's Miami. So there's
Speaker 1: just you can just see the hints of baby powder
Speaker 1: on him. So he say, it's you know, fresh and clean.
Speaker 1: The socks and then the slots. Also, he wiggled too
Speaker 1: much when he takes off, so when he goes to
Speaker 1: kick off, he really just be pushing the handlebars too,
Speaker 1: like like overcorrected too much. Yeah, because it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: this bike is too small for you. You shouldn't be here. Um,
Speaker 1: bikes are fun, but like I feel because like if
Speaker 1: you reach a certain age or like once you hit
Speaker 1: like high school, I think you're like, Okay, I think
Speaker 1: I'm good with this bike. But it's like for me,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I'm going stationary only because there's so
Speaker 1: much Dan. Now, yes, the stationary bike is gonna end
Speaker 1: up being clothes hanger. Okay, But like I said, Peloton
Speaker 1: has changed the game because you can you can get
Speaker 1: the experience. It's a VR experience or two do or whatever.
Speaker 1: He said, it's a community. What it's a community, the Peloton?
Speaker 1: What about him? It's a community. How the hell is
Speaker 1: it a community? I'm gonna bike. You take classes with
Speaker 1: other people, and other people are high fiving the whole time.
Speaker 1: I don't like that. Oh, I mean that I feel
Speaker 1: like I make it both our parts, Like I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm myself now. I like that you can see
Speaker 1: the different landscapes and stuff like that. Not everybody can
Speaker 1: choose a class part. That sounds like it costs extra
Speaker 1: extra of course, But I thought that's what you meant
Speaker 1: when you were like to change the game because they
Speaker 1: changed the game through community. I thought they changed the
Speaker 1: game because they put a screen on it. Bitch. I
Speaker 1: don't know if they were the first one like, oh,
Speaker 1: you want to feel like you bie it through the Alps,
Speaker 1: here's this movie. Like I thought that's how they changed
Speaker 1: the game. I like, I like how this multibillion dollar corporation.
Speaker 1: It's fun that like like classes at like seminars on
Speaker 1: health and fitness, they've they've they've vented all these new
Speaker 1: ways to be fit at different points in your life.
Speaker 1: And you were like, no, they favors for putting the
Speaker 1: iPad in the front. Yeah, I mean, I listen, you
Speaker 1: know what I did genuinely forget that they had those classes.
Speaker 1: That's not something I would want, but maybe it's good
Speaker 1: because then people sweat ain't because I've been in classes before,
Speaker 1: like workout classes, and people be sweating and it's sweat.
Speaker 1: He goes airborne, and then they sweat on you, and
Speaker 1: then you're sweat could be on them, and I don't
Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait,
Speaker 1: you're saying a lot of things right now. People be
Speaker 1: sweating and sweat. Sweat fundamentally is a liquid in any
Speaker 1: liquid can evaporated. Okay, but you see though, because what
Speaker 1: you just it, you try to use fundamentally to get
Speaker 1: scientific and and and get me confused. Right now, you're
Speaker 1: not making sense because you've never had somebody sweat on
Speaker 1: you that that I wasn't touching. Now, think about it.
Speaker 1: If you're in a workout class, all of this sweat
Speaker 1: is just getting thrown instead of air, like you're making
Speaker 1: it sound like people are just emitting juices out of
Speaker 1: there like foreheads. When you're in you're in a workout class,
Speaker 1: you're sweating, and you've never been to workout class and
Speaker 1: just seeing like sweat coming off of people I've never seen.
Speaker 1: If you see sweat coming off of somebody like smoke
Speaker 1: that's a sick person, not like smoke you crazy person,
Speaker 1: but like it's I don't I just have to. I
Speaker 1: just I could be wrong, but the words that you
Speaker 1: use to describe what you're saying definitely feel like they're incorrect.
Speaker 1: I just have had people sweat on me and I
Speaker 1: don't like it. But from far away like that, we're
Speaker 1: in a class. Everyone, there's thirty people in here. We're
Speaker 1: all fucking sweating. We're sweating or swinging limbs or it's
Speaker 1: a it's a cardio class. So if your arms are
Speaker 1: sweating and you're flailing your arms about now, flick sweat
Speaker 1: on you, that's that's a different thing. Okay. I thought
Speaker 1: that you were talking about just steam coming off of somebody. No,
Speaker 1: not like a cartoon. I'm talking about like the slip,
Speaker 1: like the you know, you've got your arms going and
Speaker 1: then they're sweat getting flipped and you got thirty people
Speaker 1: flicking sweat. I don't sweat like that, but I have
Speaker 1: seen people flick some sweat, and I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: let me go to the next row. So let me
Speaker 1: both tell you. Okay, So I'll let me. I'll go
Speaker 1: back to the unicycle thing first and then I'll tell
Speaker 1: you about the exercise class thing. So with the unicycle thing,
Speaker 1: it was two dudes on a unicycle each in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: They all both have their own unicycles. They both have
Speaker 1: their own unicycle. Oh did you think they were holding hands?
Speaker 1: I know what I'm saying is you said two dudes
Speaker 1: on a unicycle. Yeah, so I thought it was two
Speaker 1: dudes on a unicycle. That's why I said. Where they
Speaker 1: stacked up like kids at a trench coat. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: two individual to individual, no pussy getting man man. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't describe it that way, but yeah, yeah, two men
Speaker 1: with very strong calves, two men with Goku like calves.
Speaker 1: Because the thing is, it's like the seat on a unicycle.
Speaker 1: It's so uncomfortable. It's deeply uncomfortable. I've only felt it
Speaker 1: with my hand. I've never been on a unicycle because
Speaker 1: I don't have that type of balance. The amount of
Speaker 1: course strength that you need to be on a unicycle
Speaker 1: is truly impressive. That's why I like think about any
Speaker 1: time you like like that's why you're watching RuPaul's drag race.
Speaker 1: You see somebody to a split like to the fact
Speaker 1: that this it that we're all amazed. Can you ever
Speaker 1: tried to get I tried to getting on a unicycle?
Speaker 1: Is trying to do like a pogo stick? M hmm.
Speaker 1: Have you trying to use a pogo stick? I feel
Speaker 1: like I can't use a poco stick. Pogo stick is
Speaker 1: a bit easier because the wheel of a unicycle is
Speaker 1: what is absolutely treacherous. Um. But then this is what
Speaker 1: this is what happened though. So they're going opposite directions
Speaker 1: towards each other, right, oh, like a joust. One of
Speaker 1: them is looking and one of them I don't know
Speaker 1: what he's doing. He just enjoying his uh beautiful hipster day,
Speaker 1: like he's just looking around. The other guy sees him
Speaker 1: coming and it's like hey, hey, hey, hey hey, and
Speaker 1: then they perfectly run into each other, perfectly as like
Speaker 1: the wheels come together first and then the body split.
Speaker 1: Second they are a bicycle at those bids. First second
Speaker 1: they were a tandem bite those bids, scissor to the
Speaker 1: air and then fell down. My question is the guy
Speaker 1: that saw it coming, why did he not move? I
Speaker 1: don't think he really got control of that unicycle. I
Speaker 1: think that they're actually they're each other's yang and yang
Speaker 1: because I think that the guy that was vigilant isn't
Speaker 1: as good unicycling, and the guy that wasn't pay attention
Speaker 1: is so good that he didn't have to pay attention.
Speaker 1: Oh so one was overconfident and then the other one
Speaker 1: didn't have the skills to Because I'll tell you right now,
Speaker 1: if I get on one, just me being balanced is
Speaker 1: a victory. I don't I don't need to learn how
Speaker 1: to turn, because that's the thing that looks the most
Speaker 1: treacherous on a unicycle is trying to turn, because it
Speaker 1: always seems like a it's like trying to like turn
Speaker 1: like like a buggy in a grocery store, you know,
Speaker 1: when we have one just like a bad wheels and
Speaker 1: you're just like bodying this fucking shopping cart. Because then
Speaker 1: when I said buggy, like a bunch of people just
Speaker 1: went with, how was you're talking about? Josh says, what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about this? But like just you just have
Speaker 1: like a just a bad buggy and you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna it's like a car with no power, steering fluid,
Speaker 1: like you just have to body this thing. That's always
Speaker 1: how like unicycle always like you just have to scooch
Speaker 1: like you're just sliding across a really big booth in
Speaker 1: a restaurant. Looks to be how you turn on a unicycle,
Speaker 1: and it all seems very dangerous to me. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think too dangerous. I think unicycling outside if that was
Speaker 1: the argument you'd have me. But cycling, what about unicycling?
Speaker 1: What about unicycling inside? Unicycling inside means you just don't
Speaker 1: care about your stuff. What do you mean, like you're
Speaker 1: gonna fall and you're gonna fall on your own stuff. No,
Speaker 1: it's a stationary body because it's a stationary unicycle. A
Speaker 1: stationary unicycle, I guess, I guess if you're already not
Speaker 1: going anywhere that does make sense. Have you in the
Speaker 1: under desk bikes? Yes? And I don't tell me what
Speaker 1: you think about these things. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: believe them, because I think that when you just are kicking.
Speaker 1: To me, there's something about being on exercise bike and
Speaker 1: cycling outside where your body is already positioned to like
Speaker 1: really throttle that pedal, you know, like you're you're really
Speaker 1: able to kick it as far as possible until it
Speaker 1: comes back around, until you can do it again. It's
Speaker 1: easy on the knees. It's better for you than running.
Speaker 1: It's like it's it's it's been figured out. The science
Speaker 1: is there. The under the desk bike where you just
Speaker 1: sort of kicking pedals you strapped into it feels like
Speaker 1: the feet version of a strait jacket, Like it's just chaos.
Speaker 1: Howe were you the phase? That's just it's just chaos.
Speaker 1: Like I know that they exercise, but I guarantee you
Speaker 1: you're not bird the cows. You think you're burning? Well,
Speaker 1: is it? I mean, have you seen, oh, have you
Speaker 1: seen like those long distance lay down bikes. Those make
Speaker 1: me nervous even if I'm outside those, those feel like
Speaker 1: I need an open field too to maneuver in because
Speaker 1: those just stress me out. I don't know why, but
Speaker 1: why it's too relaxed, Like it doesn't feel like real exercise.
Speaker 1: It seems a little too different, you know, like when
Speaker 1: you see something it would be like if you saw
Speaker 1: if you saw a car that could just fully drive
Speaker 1: on its side, you'd be like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I need that. I think I'm good with all four
Speaker 1: wheels on the ground, sitting horizontal. It's about a car
Speaker 1: that just always existed just on two wheels. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think if a car just was on two wheels driving
Speaker 1: sideways down the street, I'd be like, they're in danger.
Speaker 1: And that's how that lay down bike makes me feel,
Speaker 1: because like I like the tricks, but like the ones
Speaker 1: that you're like sitting down. Also, I guess that to
Speaker 1: me it still feels like one. I'm sure it's much
Speaker 1: better for your back what they'll sit down bikes than
Speaker 1: being on like a regular ass bike. Oh maybe maybe so,
Speaker 1: I I don't know about that. My thing is it
Speaker 1: looks like you are lost. Like there's never a time
Speaker 1: where I've seen someone use it where I was like, man,
Speaker 1: they're burning calories and working crazy. Every time I've seen it,
Speaker 1: I've been like, you look crazy. Just imagine kicking under
Speaker 1: your desk like a baby all day to burn six calories.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's why I don't like sitting in really
Speaker 1: high chairs at restaurants, because I don't like to eat
Speaker 1: with my feet can swing. This feels like a different prop.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's like you know, when you're just
Speaker 1: when my legs aren't. It just feels like, you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, you sit on like a really like
Speaker 1: high chair and your legs can swing, you just don't
Speaker 1: feel like grounded. Okay, I'm a short person, so i'm
Speaker 1: five four. Nobody will believe me because my friends are Like,
Speaker 1: I thought you were taller than that. I was, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's supposed to are you you're
Speaker 1: five four five four and a half. You know what
Speaker 1: it is you have? You have a presence that is
Speaker 1: taller than five four, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: I think it's the way that you speak that makes
Speaker 1: people think you must be five six five seven? Man,
Speaker 1: what kind of life would I have if I was
Speaker 1: five six? Oh? But if you were, if you were
Speaker 1: five six like that. I talked about that all the time.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm getting away from bikes for a second,
Speaker 1: but like if I've told you, even in stand up,
Speaker 1: I've talked about this if I was as tall as
Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna be when I was little.
Speaker 1: I like, if I was a tall man like six too,
Speaker 1: I'd be a problem. Oh yeah, I wouldn't even be me.
Speaker 1: Not think about how many men we know who are
Speaker 1: over six ft or just six ft who are a problem.
Speaker 1: Like I don't even know if i'd be polite, Like
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a I'm a nice man because I'm pretty little,
Speaker 1: Like I know, I know the weight class I'm dealing with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I know who I can get based at
Speaker 1: my voice with. I do hate it when a man
Speaker 1: who is eye to eye to me like that's why
Speaker 1: I think they had the phrase, Like I remember, like
Speaker 1: growing up, we're like you would hear two men growing
Speaker 1: back and forth if you just hear like I heard
Speaker 1: this man say to somebody, you're talking real tall. If
Speaker 1: someone said that, I think it's your obligation to come
Speaker 1: back with with a bat like I think. I think
Speaker 1: you can't, like you talk a real talk for somebody
Speaker 1: in this situation. And I'm just like I fully as
Speaker 1: I'm like, am gonna do? I was like, I really
Speaker 1: know what this means now, Like you have no business
Speaker 1: saying these words, because I've definitely met men who had
Speaker 1: no business speaking to me. And it's I thought you
Speaker 1: were going to finish the sentence with something that you
Speaker 1: just stopped and I did. I finished it with what
Speaker 1: it needed to be finished with. But they're just certain
Speaker 1: times you just see like someone engaging with somebody or
Speaker 1: just like this is not right. How do I tell
Speaker 1: them that they have no business being where they are. Um, like,
Speaker 1: please start get off my lawn. Um, we don't tell.
Speaker 1: We don't tell people to get off my lawn. And enough,
Speaker 1: I don't even have to be on grass, Like start,
Speaker 1: get off my property. Get off my lawn as an attitude. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I say, I see what you mean. Not here for
Speaker 1: this nonsense. Get off my lawn, like very much. No trustpassing, Um,
Speaker 1: no trustpassing. Let me focus backup, loser. But yeah, those states,
Speaker 1: like those bikes be like you sit down and pedal,
Speaker 1: they seem like they're much better for you're back. I
Speaker 1: know I'm good, Um because I know I'm good for
Speaker 1: a tangent. I know I'm good to ramble, but like
Speaker 1: because think about it, like if I was riding a
Speaker 1: bike across the country or even for like I don't
Speaker 1: know how long do people ride bikes for. They don't
Speaker 1: marathons on bikes, right, how long is it on bikes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're doing but you A try athalon is like
Speaker 1: other sports right yeah? Yeah, so like it's I don't
Speaker 1: want try athlon, I just want one athalon. I don't
Speaker 1: know the Greek for the whole thing, but I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure athalon implies more than one. Well, a marathon, you're
Speaker 1: just running, I know, but you said, I watch just
Speaker 1: one Athalondue, and I think that Athalonue, we'll probably get
Speaker 1: you one marathon. I think we'll get you one. Did
Speaker 1: you ever hear the story of the first marathon, the
Speaker 1: like legend or the myth behind it from the ancient Greek,
Speaker 1: the Romans or whoever the whites were? Uh, tell me
Speaker 1: because I think I have it to remember. Basically, there
Speaker 1: was a war and then the messenger ran six miles
Speaker 1: to deliver the message that the battle had been wont
Speaker 1: So when he got there, he screamed nique, which is
Speaker 1: victory and it's why it's actually where Nike comes from.
Speaker 1: And then he died. So it's very weird that we
Speaker 1: replicate the thing that killed a guy. It's like if
Speaker 1: someone did the first It's like if the first flight
Speaker 1: everybody died and then we were like, let's just do that.
Speaker 1: That's that's what it feels like with exercise. Like it's
Speaker 1: because he ran twenty six miles as an emerge and
Speaker 1: see he was like, I carved up last night, I'm
Speaker 1: feeling good. This is what I have a hard time believing.
Speaker 1: There wasn't a single horse. It is it is weird
Speaker 1: that he didn't get a horse. That's bro when the
Speaker 1: British was coming. Paul Revere didn't do that on foot.
Speaker 1: You know that when Paul Revere was doing his ride,
Speaker 1: there was somebody that was trying to smash you know,
Speaker 1: there was somebody that was like shut up. I saw
Speaker 1: the sticktok where I guess this guy was being like
Speaker 1: the gay Paul Revere who was going to the her like,
Speaker 1: hey girl, you know the British is coming right okay?
Speaker 1: Goods Like it was just it was hilarious sounds girl, girl,
Speaker 1: the British, I mean they're coming. And I laughed so hard,
Speaker 1: Like when you think about these little things or because
Speaker 1: it's like everything's fucked up so you can just take
Speaker 1: some little thing. It's like something silly, as like Paul
Speaker 1: Revere just like I don't know Ben Frankling, that damn kite.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now, Paul Revere probably would haven't
Speaker 1: even smooth ride on a bike and the best ride
Speaker 1: in a car, what are we talking about? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: you can't just bring cars into it. You know what
Speaker 1: we're here to do? You out here and if he
Speaker 1: had a jet, if he had a private jet. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? Point and then you undercut
Speaker 1: it with not sense? But is it that? What I do? Like?
Speaker 1: It's as I always do. You make a valid point
Speaker 1: and then I under cut it or not. That's what
Speaker 1: I bring it to you every episode. What are you
Speaker 1: confused about? It's not a confusion. It's confusion at all.
Speaker 1: I've been doing this day one, can't stop, won't stop.
Speaker 1: It's not a confusion at least, it's a genuine frustration. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is what the people came here for.
Speaker 1: It's nonsense and confusion, precipitation. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And you can't just add other words. You can always
Speaker 1: add other words as the words. As for a baby,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's only fair if I've swayed you
Speaker 1: a bit into exercise outside on a cycling bike, if
Speaker 1: you can give me somewhere flat ground, no obstacles, no
Speaker 1: car doors, no no grown men on a penny farthing
Speaker 1: and a dirty beard. Um, Joe, did you read the
Speaker 1: article most men's beards are disgusting? Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: I didn't expect them to be uh clean, And that
Speaker 1: was and that was our faults. That was our faults.
Speaker 1: You expected men to not be men idiots. Not to
Speaker 1: say that all men aren't clean. I'm just saying that
Speaker 1: the ones that they've talked to who seem to have
Speaker 1: beards um around here giving people face reactions. Uh, but
Speaker 1: I digest. So we've got I've been doing that for
Speaker 1: years and you were literally like one of the four
Speaker 1: people have caught it. Most people probably just think that
Speaker 1: I'm dumb. No, no, I'm just I'm just paying attention.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, because when people don't catch it,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, do you not know I'm wrong? Or
Speaker 1: do you? It is wild that you say it, but
Speaker 1: that you judge people, not judge, not judge. I just
Speaker 1: want to see it. They'll go, hey, wait did she
Speaker 1: did she? I feel like, without being a judge e person,
Speaker 1: I feel like there are instances that are quite small
Speaker 1: that leads you to judge. Thank you for not thinking
Speaker 1: I'm a judge person. You're very understanding of people and
Speaker 1: like you know why they do stuff. But you're there.
Speaker 1: There are little things that I've seen happen, like, for instance,
Speaker 1: I think you would judge this person. The one of
Speaker 1: the reasons that I don't. I don't really love love
Speaker 1: exercise bikes is because will you take a peloton? Right?
Speaker 1: A peloton? It's it's classically known. It's like it's like
Speaker 1: known throughout the whole community of like indoor cycling and
Speaker 1: peloton stuff like that. That the shoes are hard to
Speaker 1: get out of the little cages, right, you really gotta
Speaker 1: twist that shoe out, You gotta pull it out. You know,
Speaker 1: why would you need a cage for a bike that's
Speaker 1: not going anywhere? Because by locking in the shoe, the
Speaker 1: special shoe that you use for the peloton, you're guaranteed
Speaker 1: to not like slip off or anything specially. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: special shoes ahead, So those things are very hard to
Speaker 1: get out of it. So I know of a person
Speaker 1: who um was trying to like really get out of them,
Speaker 1: like wiggle out and everything, but their feet were stuck.
Speaker 1: They're also very tired from the ride that they just had,
Speaker 1: and so then they fell they like stood up, but
Speaker 1: fell backwards and fell off the bike backwards, and so
Speaker 1: now their feet just locked in. Like now that now
Speaker 1: someone has to come find like now they're at it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was talking with Logan about this because
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you do with that situation?
Speaker 1: And Logan is who Logan is my buddy? Um, Logan
Speaker 1: and I do the Josh Johnson Show together, and the
Speaker 1: Joshohnson Show is what it's my podcast. I do this
Speaker 1: be promote t Josh Johnson has into the podcast Josh
Speaker 1: shown and so I hope we don't cut this out.
Speaker 1: Hope we don't cut out the promotion. But my friends
Speaker 1: hear it. Listen. We can promote other things, well, we
Speaker 1: can do commercial breaks and drops and ship so listen,
Speaker 1: I understand how nice it is to ride a bike. Listen.
Speaker 1: I was on a date on a bike, Uh, I think,
Speaker 1: and then I think after that, did dude my just
Speaker 1: about credit card information? But that's neither here north there.
Speaker 1: So I was on a date on a bike through
Speaker 1: Central Park and I was talking to one of my
Speaker 1: friends about it and she was like, you went to
Speaker 1: get ice cream and then you want to bike through
Speaker 1: such a park on this day. She's like, bitch, you
Speaker 1: want to Drew Barrymore date? Where are you on? And
Speaker 1: I was like, It's a great, real rom calm date
Speaker 1: that I was on, But I never saw that man again.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that he had duck teeth. The
Speaker 1: second reason thinking about card, but that's not that's not
Speaker 1: how do you how do you think a person stow
Speaker 1: your credit card where they're not charges that recognized it
Speaker 1: stays because my my card company sent me a new car,
Speaker 1: like out of nowhere, and like I remember, like I
Speaker 1: was buying something. We were on the day and I
Speaker 1: handed somebody in my card and then I sat and
Speaker 1: signed for it in a package. This was like, you know,
Speaker 1: this was the summer of like we were just like
Speaker 1: starightly slowly you have to do everything outside. And I
Speaker 1: remember I'm saying to me, does that always say you
Speaker 1: sign your name? And I was like, what ye? You
Speaker 1: know your birthday is said interesting number? Is it also
Speaker 1: your pen right? And then like literally like a month later,
Speaker 1: I got a new card and I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Yeah, I mean maybe he stole your pred garden.
Speaker 1: Now now I understand how it's maybe you know, right,
Speaker 1: and so, but always was like that was my fault
Speaker 1: with trusting the nigga with duck teeth, that's my fault.
Speaker 1: I mean, so, I I guess you and I know
Speaker 1: you want to know what duck teeth are, but you're
Speaker 1: like we don't have time to go through this. We
Speaker 1: we don't. We have to wrap up, which is a
Speaker 1: shame because I feel like we covered a lot of ground,
Speaker 1: almost as if we bike outside, right, And so like
Speaker 1: I was riding through Central Park and there were so
Speaker 1: many bikes and then I was an electric part I
Speaker 1: was just like so very much like a girl on
Speaker 1: a date vibe that hadn't been on a bike since
Speaker 1: the Clinton administration. Um, because that's how old I am. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't worry, I was in high school in the nineties. Well,
Speaker 1: I was in school in the the nineties. Shut up. So,
Speaker 1: I uh, riding a bike in a park is nice,
Speaker 1: right because there are no cars, the ground is even,
Speaker 1: you're not climbing up you're not trying to go up
Speaker 1: a mountain. There's no bike jumps, they're not doing this BMX,
Speaker 1: Extreme Sports, X Games Ship because like, all those bike
Speaker 1: tricks and things are really cool, lowrider bikes very cool.
Speaker 1: But like I think, for me, if you can give
Speaker 1: me a bike in a controlled situation, like a bike
Speaker 1: where I'm not gonna be I'm not facing all of
Speaker 1: these road hazards, there's no loose gravel, all of these things.
Speaker 1: If you can give me just a nice call to
Speaker 1: sack or maybe like uh, an indoor track, even an
Speaker 1: outdoor track that's something, or a nice park, but something
Speaker 1: where I'm not dealing with like the hazards of being
Speaker 1: on a bike. I'd be on a bike outside. The
Speaker 1: problem is most of the time people are on banks.
Speaker 1: As an adult, you're not in that situation if the
Speaker 1: whole city is trying to kill you in any way
Speaker 1: that it can. So maybe other cities aren't trying to
Speaker 1: kill people, but New York is definitely like New York
Speaker 1: is a lake lanear of cities. It's always trying to
Speaker 1: kill somebody. So I guess we've come to a slight consensus.
Speaker 1: You're into exercise bikes mostly because of the controlled environment,
Speaker 1: but if you get the right conditions outside, you'll go
Speaker 1: for a regular bike ride. If you can give park.
Speaker 1: I'm like a nice day and a helmet and a
Speaker 1: face shield, I get on a bike. Got you, got you?
Speaker 1: I like me like being outside and a bike as nice,
Speaker 1: But like, there's too many ways that die on a bike,
Speaker 1: and I can concede that an exercise bike inside is
Speaker 1: better for tracking progress and making sure you're keeping pace,
Speaker 1: because when you get tired on a bike outside and
Speaker 1: you're doing it for exercise, you just give yourself that
Speaker 1: little bit to slow down. But on an exercise bike,
Speaker 1: when you're on like a peloton, you can tell that
Speaker 1: you're dipping in your cadence, you know. Plus the other
Speaker 1: thing is is like if you're on a bike outside
Speaker 1: for exercise, you're traveling a distance. So like if you
Speaker 1: go five miles from your house and now you're tired,
Speaker 1: how are you gonna get back to your house? I mean,
Speaker 1: you're daring yourself with every pedal that you make it back.
Speaker 1: Because it's like now you gotta get an excel uber
Speaker 1: or put your bike on bus or a train. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're gonna enjoy. By the way, no one's gonna end.
Speaker 1: When you're on the bus or train with somebody with
Speaker 1: a bike and their bike is just bumping into people
Speaker 1: and rolling over people's feet, You're like, they don't know
Speaker 1: how to ride a bike. No, And they're probably just tired.
Speaker 1: I get that they're just tired from cycling as much
Speaker 1: as they've been cycling. But another part of you is
Speaker 1: like you have a bike. It's like being on the
Speaker 1: train in your car and you have a means of transportation.
Speaker 1: What are you doing now you have other wheels? Why
Speaker 1: are you on these wheels? Get off these wheels. I
Speaker 1: don't have those wheels. I have these wheels. Get off
Speaker 1: these wheels. It does make sense. Yeah, it's because I
Speaker 1: may have those tiny bikes that you can like fold up,
Speaker 1: you can bring them on the train with you. But
Speaker 1: then when you you see a grown man on one
Speaker 1: of those, I'm just like, you're not comfortable. I'm not
Speaker 1: comfortable seeing you, seeing you on this bike. There's the
Speaker 1: way you're comfortable ones right. So now there's really nothing
Speaker 1: to do but to give it to you the listener,
Speaker 1: to let us know in the comments, let us know
Speaker 1: in your writings. Uh, how do you feel exercise bike
Speaker 1: versus biking outside? Just regular you know, cycling in the
Speaker 1: world with nature. We appreciate you listening very much. I'm
Speaker 1: Joe and I'm doing to stay loan and we're here
Speaker 1: with Hold Up. We're here every week and we look
Speaker 1: forward to holding you up in the future. All right,
Speaker 1: p Jack Knight, We love you. Listen to Hold Up
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast and watch the video version
Speaker 1: at Daily show dot com. Backslash hold Up