WEBVTT - Joy 101: Jennie Garth 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:12.080 All right, let's get started. 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:16.120 Who's excited to hear a fabulous conversation tonight? 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:18.880 Thank you, thank you? 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:20.160 All right. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.800 I've been super excited about this conversation all week. It's 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.680 been a lot of fun getting a chance to spend 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.320 some time with Hoda and watch her interact in person 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:29.040 with other people. 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:31.000 You of course know her from the. 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:34.600 Today Show, but having that opportunity to see her in person, 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.400 I don't know that I've ever seen anyone with a 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.080 warmth and a passion for whites and a joy that 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:45.279 is as contagious as hobus. And you'll see that when 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.640 you're up here tonight and without sail. Every time you 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:53.400 see someone meet her and walk away, almost every single time, 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.840 they'll say something like, I love her so much. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:00:59.280 I love her so much, I. 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.480 Think she might be my soulmate. It's very confusing. 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.560 We're gonna work through that on the podcast tonight, but 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.600 we're super excited to have the opportunity to partner with 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:12.080 her on this new podcast that stems from her brilliant 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:13.800 new company called Joy one oh one. 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.680 The podcast is al also called Joey one oh one. 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:17.520 Let's give it up with that. 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:18.200 If you have not. 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:24.679 Absolver, and it is so fitting that she gets to 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.840 interview one of my favorite people on the planet who 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.039 brought her sweet little puppy tonight. And you're gonna love 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:32.640 this as well. From nine O two one O m G. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:34.720 And I choose me, the one and. 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:35.800 Only Jenny Garth. 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.559 So let's get to it without further ado hold end, Jenny, 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:45.880 come on up, rank. 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:54.040 Go hi, look at us together with Dottie your dog. 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:56.960 Hi guys. Jenny. 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:01.120 First of all, Jenny's also one of my favorite people 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:06.320 in the world. She is quintessential everything to me because 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.880 her life is full of pivots and I admire someone 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:13.400 who has a whole bunch of different acts in her life, 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.919 and Jenny Garth is that person. So Jenny, first of all, 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.040 I'm so happier here are you? Just randomly in France? Like, 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:20.560 what's happening? 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.720 What is passing through? Yeah? No, it was in Paris earlier. 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.639 I'm doing a job there and the timing worked out 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:30.440 when iHeart family called you answer you know you can. 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.360 Of course you do. Who wouldn't. 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:34.160 And by the way, can I just ask quickly about 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:37.240 cute Dottie. It's Dottie, tell me about it. 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.079 She's my little girl and she this is her new 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:43.200 Parisian outfit. I hope you like it. She just got 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:43.840 this today. 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.480 Super cute. Huh. 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:51.359 This podcast is called Joy one oh one, and anybody 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:55.120 who I select to be on this podcast needs to 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:59.280 exude joy. And what I've learned through the podcast and 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:04.760 through life is when you have such high highs, often 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:08.200 the counterpart is there as well. The people who experience 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:10.320 the most joys of joy or the people who've been 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.480 on their knees, the people who struggled, the people who've 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.640 gone through it. So I love this podcast for so 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.240 many reasons because you're walking living proof of how good 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.119 life is. So I want to start with the nine 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.560 o two one oh days. You went straight from like 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:32.519 small town girl to sort of global star almost like that, Yeah, 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:37.680 how did you? How does a kid handle something like that? 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:38.200 How did you? 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.360 I don't know, honestly, Literally one minute I was playing 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:44.920 in the cornfields and riding my pink Duffy dirt bike 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:46.560 through the crazy yard. 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:47.480 Where'd you grow up? 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:52.840 Illinois? And very we're all right Midwest and on? Yeah, 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.960 so very small town. I still have family there, but 0:03:56.040 --> 0:04:00.240 it was just by complete luck. You know, life always 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.880 kind of let life go where it wants to go 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.000 until very recently, and I still do that to a 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:11.520 certain extent. Example, I'm here tonight, yes, But I just 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.520 was always like, this is just great. Life just works 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:18.280 itself out. And I somehow ended up in Hollywood. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.320 How, no, No, you don't get to say I somehow 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:24.280 made it to Hollywood. So you were in the cornfields 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:28.520 riding bike and then how did you make that track? 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.960 Well, my father got very ill. We lived in Illinois. 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:36.239 The weather's very harsh, as you know, and he needed 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:38.719 to be in a warmer, dryer climate. So we moved 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:43.160 our family caravan style. Couldn't afford a moving company. We 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:45.680 had like our trucks and trailers full of things. And 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:49.719 we went to Arizona and he recovered there, and I 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.200 went started back in high school. I started high school there, 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:56.440 junior high and high school there, and I was just 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.160 living my life. I was dancing on the at the 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.200 corner dance it's called the Dance Shop, and I was 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.440 teaching little girls how to tap dance your age girls. 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:09.920 And I ended up in a pageant for a scholarship 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.480 to help my parents for college. I wanted to become 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:18.520 a teacher, and one of the judges at the scholarship 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:24.080 was the ex exec executive casting directors for ABC Television 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:26.520 who had just left that and had to pivot his 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.279 life and started his own management company, Talent Management, in 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:32.680 LA And he was there with his wife on kind 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.279 of like a little getaway but doing this for a friend, 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:37.680 and she said to him, Randy, I really think you 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:41.080 need to talk to her. She has something. So they 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:45.480 had a conversation with myself and my mother and we 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:53.440 started communicating via tech, telephone and letters in the mail. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.440 I would do videos at my acting classes. He set 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.599 me up in and we would send the VHS tapes 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:02.000 to him and he would review them. It's back his notes, 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:03.599 and so I did that for about a year and 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:05.680 then he said, you know what, I think you've learned 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:06.920 as much as you need to if you want to 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:09.560 come out for pilot season. And so my mom were like, Okay, 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:10.560 let's give it a try. 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.799 We did, and nine two one oh was the one knock. 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.160 Duck knock, Hi, I'm here are you. I think you 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.479 panicked a little bit, But nine oh two one oh 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:20.039 wasn't the first and thing I did. I did a 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:24.440 show called Growing Pains one episode of Growing Pace. Yeah, yeah, 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:26.560 it was a really big episode. I was like girl 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:30.440 number one and I had one line, but it consisted 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:33.120 of one word, and that line was sticky sticky sticky. 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:36.800 I don't even know what it meant. And then from 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.919 there I did a show called Brand New Life with 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.640 Barbara Eden where I played her daughter, and I was 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.719 just transfixed by her and studied her every move. And 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.720 that's how I fell in love with the industry and 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.359 the like actual like occupation of acting. 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.960 And so you land a role like nine oh two 0:06:56.040 --> 0:07:00.320 one oh, which is incredible, but it also propelled you. 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:04.599 I mean, you remain sweet I see it today. But 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:09.800 often when a young person gets into Hollywood, they quickly 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:12.880 go through the meat grinder somehow and they're not the 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:17.080 person they were. So how did you navigate that part 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:17.560 of it? 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:21.200 I mean, I don't know how I survived, quite honestly, 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:23.880 because I was very much thrown into the deep end, 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.840 fending for myself, emancipated so that I could work longer hours, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:33.480 and I learned really quickly what it took to survive 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:34.400 in the business. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:35.320 What did it take. 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.240 It took staying home, it took staying away from the business, 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.520 to survive in the business. So I would do my 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.200 job and then I would go home and try to 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.920 have a regular life because that's all I knew how 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:50.000 to do successfully. And even at that point, you know, 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.520 I was struggling to figure out, like who I am 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:56.840 in the confines of this world. It's so different than 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.720 where I come from. And I'd never known a famous person, 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:03.200 never mingled with anyone, you know, this was all new 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.720 for me and just thrown like, here's it. You own 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:08.800 a house now here, you have a car payment, you 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:10.800 have a manager or a lawyer and assistant, that all 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.160 the things. Yeah, And it was just like kind of 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:14.800 sink or swim. And I think a lot of the 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:17.120 things in my life have been like that, like thrown in. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:19.520 You figure it out and you sink or you swim, 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:20.600 and I prefer to swim. 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.640 Do you think it's because, I mean, because you're grounded 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.920 obviously from your upbringing. I mean the fact that you 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:27.960 were trying to go to a pageant so that you 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:31.120 could make money so that your parents didn't have to 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:34.680 pay for school really says everything about you. So you 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:39.160 have that kind of foundational stuff, But isn't it a 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.240 slippery slope? Come to this party, you meet this person. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.160 You know, it's just like it's so it must be 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.680 so intoxicating. It was not intoxicating for me. 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.880 It was I was afraid and I can I sense 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:57.280 people's energy, and I can. I don't like to put 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.959 myself in dangerous situation, and I have a good sense 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:04.520 of when something could potentially not be the safest environment. Okay, 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:06.440 And so that started off for me very young, and 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.760 I really did say home. I would go to work 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:12.720 for twelve, fourteen and sixteen hours a day, I would 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.160 go home and I'll wake up and I would do 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:16.120 it again the next day, five days a week. 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.720 What was the best? Like, what did nine O two 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:21.760 one zero give you? What was the best thing that 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.160 came out of that experience? 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:27.079 I'm here with you today, Like if I hadn't done 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:29.160 nine O two one oh, I wouldn't be where I 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:31.360 am right now. I wouldn't have three beautiful daughters. I 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.679 wouldn't be sitting here with Dottie talking to all of you. 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.800 Like life just takes right where you're supposed to be 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.640 and you don't understand it in the middle of the 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:42.920 journey and on all the twists and turns of it all. 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:45.800 But as you get older, you really are able to 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:47.800 sort of step back and look at your life in 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.960 a from a bigger scope and see things big picture. 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:55.320 And after I turned fifty, I really started to do that, 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.240 to step back and to sort of like sink to myself, 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:02.000 because I had spent many years struggling to figure out 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.480 who I was within all of this, and who am 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.440 I if I'm not this to someone or playing this role, 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.920 or fulfilling someone else's needs or being a mom to 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:12.720 these little girls. So I had a really at some 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.000 point when they started not to need me quite as 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.719 much they were getting older, I had to think about, like. 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:19.600 What am I doing here? 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:23.360 What everybody around me has this incredible purpose that they 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:26.400 feel driven towards, and I don't know what mine is. 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:29.000 Like I know what mine has always been because someone 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:31.640 else told me it was right, but I don't know 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.560 what mine really is. So I had to get very 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:37.559 contemplative and quiet, and I spent a couple of years 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.280 doing that, and then I spent the last couple of 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.960 years writing a book where I dove even deeper into 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:46.000 And that's one of the conversations that I love the 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.640 most about having my podcasts. I choose me is that 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.000 I want to know who you are and why are 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:54.040 you the way you are, and how did you get here? 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.400 Because I think it's fascinating. I think how I got 0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:58.359 here as fascinating. 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.359 I think, first of all, I think it's so interesting 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.240 because I think all of us, whoever is listening, or 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.000 whoever's in this room with us, in this moment, we've 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.320 all wondered like are we in the right purpose? Like 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.360 sometimes you know, when you're in flow, you feel like 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.480 this must be right. Because I used to work at 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:20.640 Dateline and I would go to Afghanistan and scary places, 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.400 and I always weirdly felt like I was swimming upstream. 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:25.600 I was fighting, but. 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.920 I kept thinking, if I keep pushing, it's going to 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:33.040 feel right if I keep trying. But there are times 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.600 when you're putting a circle in a square, it's not 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.200 where you're meant to be. And the minute I sat 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.440 with Kathy Lee and you've sat with us many times, 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.680 Drunky Monkey, we were just you know, throwing back who cares, 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.320 and all of a sudden I felt in flow, and 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:48.839 not because of the booze. 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.520 It was just you were. 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:55.320 In an environment that felt like home. It felt like 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.200 you had a warm hand on your heart. It felt 0:11:58.200 --> 0:11:59.920 like you were in a resting place. 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:02.319 I felt that I've never really felt that in the 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.680 entertainment business. To be honest with you, I've always felt 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.640 like an outsider, felt like, ooh, am, I is this 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:11.439 Am I good? I don't know. I'm sure you know 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:16.000 all those feelings of inadequacy and questioning. And it wasn't 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:20.800 until I started meeting women after fifty wasn't like you women, 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:25.079 like other people that we met through QBC that conference, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.439 and just all of a sudden, I felt like, oh, 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:33.640 I've found people that are more experienced than me or 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.000 have done things that I want to do in my life. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:38.360 And then I started to look at them as mentors 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.880 yourself included, and think like, if they can do it, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.280 I can do it, and if they can support me 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.240 in me reaching those achievements as well, you know, finding 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:51.960 those people that want to pull you with them forwards 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.520 to where you're meant to be, then it starts to 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:55.280 feel right. 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:59.400 So you feel like an outsider. Everyone's like fangirling you 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:01.640 and oh my god, there's Jenny Garth. But you feel 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:05.400 like you're outside looking in. You're not in the center 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.120 like all of those people. When did you start to 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:13.440 feel you know enough or whatever the word is, like 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:18.199 I belong here. I'm not an impostor, I'm not a phony. 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:19.679 I belong in this space. 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.199 I think it really wasn't until I found that peace 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:27.080 within myself where I felt like I belong here was 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.920 so wherever I am. 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:29.880 I don't. 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.640 I don't need to be in the crowd. I don't 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.520 need to go to the clubs. I don't need to 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:38.440 be the one at the parties. I don't Those things 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.120 are just not important to me. I want peace within myself. 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:43.920 And when I found that, and I found that by 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.319 going back in my life and looking at the places 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.440 where I hadn't felt that and really acknowledging them and 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.880 thinking like, is something wrong with me? 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:52.560 Why? 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.560 Why doesn't that do it for me? And I for 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.960 so long I thought I don't fit here for a reason, 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.520 what is it? Once I figured out that the reason 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.360 was because I really didn't know love myself enough to 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.400 say like, I. 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.560 Love you period period. 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.959 You know, there's so many things to admire about you, 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.160 and all of the highs in your life are your 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.320 greatest hits, and we all know those. But where you're 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:23.640 formed the part of your life that gives you your 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.800 just your moxie and who you're made of. For all 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.840 of us, it's when we're on our knees. Like nobody said, 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:31.800 oh my god, I had this great epiphany about my 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.840 life when I was drinking Margarita's. No, it's like it's 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:40.800 usually when you lose a loved one or when you 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:45.000 have an illness, Like that's when you actually say to yourself, 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:48.320 I know what I am made of because I made 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:52.200 it through that. What did you have to make it through? 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.000 What was the most difficult thing you had to go 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:58.640 through that taught you the most about life and brought 0:14:58.680 --> 0:14:59.040 you here. 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.360 I had to survive the industry that I was found 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:10.040 myself in. I had to lose my father, who is 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:14.000 my soulmate, like my you know, my guy. We share 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:19.040 a birthday. And I had to have my marriage ended 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.760 after seventeen years and three girls, you know, just had 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:26.760 a My daughter got just mysteriously ill, and I thought 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.360 I was losing her. We were losing her. We had 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.000 to go through like accepting the fact that we might 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:37.720 lose her life. I've there's just so many things like 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:42.200 health wise and just challenges that we go through in 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:45.160 life and losing very very close friends far too young. 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.960 You know, two of our castmates now have left us, 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:52.240 and you know, all the things you experience and that 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.000 get you to the next place, they all make you 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.440 who you are and they show you like, if I 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.960 survived that, right, I can survive anything. And then you 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.960 have this beautiful confidence that goes with you wherever you go. 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.040 So whatever room you walk into, whatever meeting you are 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.560 at the table for, you feel like you belong there 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.040 because you belong to your own skin. 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.160 You know, it's so interesting when I think about your 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.120 life because when we talk about pivots, so when you 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:23.120 had to leave this iconic role, everyone knew you in 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:27.520 that role. So whenever you stepped out to try anything else, 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:28.720 didn't matter what it was. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.920 You know, your intro, it's always the same intro. 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.760 So how did you kind of step into the identity 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:40.480 you wanted that wasn't who you were? But yet it's 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:44.080 hard when you are associated with such an iconic character. 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:46.080 Yeah, and I always will be. And you know I 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.400 talk with this with the cast of the show original cast, 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.280 like it doesn't matter where we go or what happens 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.880 to us, if I get arrested tomorrow, They're going to 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.600 flash a cast photo and every one of their names 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.400 is going to be pulled into it. We joke about that, 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.960 but it's true. And I think accepting the fact that 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:09.080 that is one of the most you know, important stages 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.480 of my life and my self development. Whether it was 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.400 stunted by ten years, which I always think it was 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:18.640 because that world was not real, and so just trying 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.920 to create a real world outside of that real world 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:26.480 was difficult. But I really didn't do it until I 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.560 was out of that environment and I went from doing 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.040 nine O two one zero to doing you know, comedy, 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:34.679 So I feel like there's and I was terrified to 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:36.560 do that because I thought, how do you do that? 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:40.760 I only made people cry, like my character gets burned 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.959 and stocked and shot and all the addicted, all the 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:47.000 things they put Kelly Taylor through, but just really embracing 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.439 all of that, and also when I was writing the book, 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:52.080 going back and looking at what an impact all of 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:56.200 even the characters that I've played, the things that they 0:17:56.240 --> 0:18:01.119 have gone through that my body actually processed, and you know, 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.719 playing that character like it leaves a mark in you 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:08.600 and it takes up that social battery that you know, 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:13.199 that's your emotional well being. So it's just really looking 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:17.159 back at all things to find out like what felt 0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:19.959 right and where did it not feel right, and then 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.200 learning to just keep going to what felt good where 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:26.960 you know, there was one line in the show in 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:31.200 nineteen ninety five that I had said. It was three words, 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:34.280 I choose me. She was choosing between Brandon and Dylan. 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.520 And I didn't really understand it then because I was 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:41.080 just you know, doing my job as a mistress. And 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.359 later in life I met women who had grown up 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:46.480 with me. When I meet, you know, when I meet 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.120 anybody on the street, they feel like they've I feel 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:50.480 like I grew up with you, Like I feel like 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:53.000 I we're friends. I'm like, we are, we grew up together. 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.640 I get it, like I understand. But I found out 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:59.879 that those women had told me. I never knew I 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:04.919 choose myself until Kelly chose herself in that moment. Wow, 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:07.320 And I felt like a little weird about it because 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:09.960 in the next moment, Kelly chose some other guy, Colin 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:14.320 the Koke Heads New York. But so she really didn't 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.399 fall through on that, which I'm not proud of. But 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:21.959 I felt like, oh, this is something very very important 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:26.480 that needs to continue to be discussed and talked about 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:29.160 and given a spotlight. And it was it was in 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:33.840 those little interactions women, those connections women that are just 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:37.119 from the heart, that I found my purpose that I 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:39.800 realized like, because I know, I've always been here to 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.560 sort of teach people, like it's in my blood, yeah, 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.720 and share something I never knew what it was. And 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:48.760 I tried to share things that didn't weren't me that 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:52.320 I was trying to be sharing those things when I 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:56.600 found out, like sharing my authentic self, how that impacted 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:59.200 other people and how they were then able to share 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:03.479 their authentic self with me in turn, like gates opened up, 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.000 And that's when I really thought, this, this is my purpose, 0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:06.960 this kind of connection. 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.680 Isn't it hard not to be a people pleaser? Yeah? 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.040 I mean, isn't it hard? 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.240 Like because I feel like, you know, because we want 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:19.159 people to be happy. You want people to be happy 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:21.320 to see you want them, you want them to have 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:25.320 a nice experience you, but also you want to take 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.640 care of you. So how do did you step out 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.400 of people pleasing? Are you still in the business of it? 0:20:31.600 --> 0:20:31.800 Well? 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:36.480 I stayed home a lot. Yeah, and what especially after 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:40.360 my divorce, I got to the point where I had 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:43.600 to learn how to please myself. Yeah, And that's pretty 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:47.800 much all the people pleasing I focus on now, because 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:51.280 in me is all those things, wanting other people to 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.840 be happy and have great experience, that those are authentic 0:20:54.960 --> 0:20:57.320 to me. It's not like I have to fulfill your needs. 0:20:57.520 --> 0:21:00.360 I'm actually fulfilling my own needs and ones. But it's 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:03.639 actually in turn making you feel better. So it's just 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:06.600 coming from a completely more like honest real. 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.440